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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 6, 1916)
THE BEE: OMAHA; WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 1916.
.THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED Y EDWARD ROSEWATER
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
THE BEE PUBUSHWO COMPANY. PROPRIETOR
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Seal aee af ehense address orMrresalarltir i -Uvtrr
to Omaha Bee, CireaJetlen Department.
Vr Start. m er eetel eraer. "-"" J"
taker, ra parmertt f email aeeour.es. Personal aheciis,
except 0uki an .torn exehanse. aot aotepted.
Omaha Tlia Be Bull Jim. '
Smith Omaha iSIS N atreet. ' .
Cetineil Bluffs U North Main strait
Llnoeln ( Little Buildlnx.
CMea til People'e Oai Bnildlnt-NowTerfe-Rcwm
Ml. !M Fifth avenue.
St. loule Its New Bank of Commerce.
Waeatastea 71 Fourteenth street. N. W.
Aaorese eemmanleatlona relatlns: to news and editorial
i vauuie Baa, artmonai ""
J JULY CIRCULATION
H 57,569 Daily Sunday 52,382
Baritht WOtlems, ' ernrslatlea manaser of The Baa
, hansM- Cemjpeinr. sawit ' winV?i',i .1!
SSI inrua slreulsttoa for tha month af Julr, 111.
ST.ISS daily Had 12,111 Sunday. ...
n.sss fa rLLIAMS. Clreuletior. Menwor.
" Sueaerieei m mr sreoenee and ewors to hefore ma
thi. Id d a. "T&gPnKm, otar, Mh
SubswiWr taring Ik ly UspwrarUr
iImuU havsTa Bm saallad to thin.. Ad
draw will M Baaid aj of tan a required.
A tii reflects it least one virtue.
It evidently alt depend! on who insists there
' is "nothing to arbitrate." 1 ; .
thirteen Zeppeiini in s raid snd the thirteenth
wrecked. The hoodoo number persists in iti evil
.ways. - ' ' ...
f X'ebraskYs 1916 Stste fair slreidy looks like
a record-breaker. Now is the time to push it
along.'': . -- 1 - . :,
Heckling Hughes may be good sport for dem
ocrats, but it is altogether fruitless of the results
they desire. .,- -. . - ' ('
No Labor day lay-off over In the trenches and
no limit there, either, to the number of hours in
'the work day. , . " - "i ' ' ' . '
.: When the swimming pools in the parks are
1 dried up by letting out the water, the summer
season is surely over.,' i V : . - , , .'V
It behooves sutoists to look ahead ana on
both sides of the road. The country cop wUl cop
you if you don't go slow. :';''
Don't waste any sympathy on the food deal.
rs who planned to gamble on the strike, only to
rind themselves caught with I he goods.
Collapsible grandstands at prize fights ought
' to be prevented at any cost. The shake-down at
'the gate is about all the traffic will bear. ,
" At any rate, Thomas A. Edison deeply appre
ciates his appointment, on the Naval Advisory,
board and is doing his best to reciprocate, ,
Arbitration, though rejected now and then by
both capital and labor, is bound to become the
cornerstone of the industrial temple of peace. (
-. The steady pressure of Japan on China givea
another version of "racial instinct" in practical
operation. Racial instinct is a diplomatic term
for land grabbing.
- Strange, however, that it took our democratic
friends so long toNliscover the nobility of Lin
coln, whom their party constantly reviled and
ridiculed during his lifetime!
Fighting proceeds with ceaseless vigor all
along the linea in Europe, Asia and Africa. The
ar-flung battle front seems destined to' dispose
of excess population, but not in the manner laid
down in the plana.
But why go back to nine years ago, when
Roosevelt was president, to find s "Help Wanted"
sign, when it is but a little over two years ago,
white Wilson was president, that the "Jobs
Wanted" signs were so plentiful and conspicuous?
The tragedy of ' Verdun, laid waste by 48,000
sheila, differs in degree only from hundreds of
villages, towns and cities caught between the
lines of warring armies. Verdun got the major
bare of shot and shell, yet the desolation wrought
is trifling beside the useless sacrifice of life in
' the vicinity. It is a dead city surrounded by dead.
The long session of the Sixty-fourth congress
will have appropriated $1,700,000,000 before ad
journment. J his is nearly half a billion more than
was appropriated th last year of the civil war.
The exact figures for 1865 were $1,295,099,289.5$.
These lavish expenditures are not due altogether
to preparedness, as the democrats would fain have
us believe. Senator Curtis in a recent senate de
bate showed that the 1917 increase over 1916 will
' be $515,446,670.62. - The total inereasea for pre
paredness will not exceed $J90,000,000. . This in
cludes the $20,000,000 for an armor plant and $20,
000,00 for a nitrate plant This leaves an increase
of over $125,000,000 aside from any item that might
be called a part of the preparedness program. .
This seems extravagant enough, but the com
parison is with a democratic congress. When the
comparison is made with the "recent republican
congresses"' the Baltimore platform condemned
for "porfligate waste," it is worse still. At the
close of the Sixty-third congress appropriations
had been made to the amount of $2,281,000,000 for
the biennium, This was $177,000,000 more than
was appropriated by the last republican congress.
If the snort session of the present congress should
eoual the record of the long session, and it mar
exceed it, the total appropriations will reach $3,-
4UU,uuu,uuu, or nearly a billion and a half mors
than those of the last republican congress.
' There are increases for every single depart,
nnftit, except pensions. The death angel has per
mitted some reductions in pensions. There have
been 50,000 offices created, at an annual cost of
$40,000,000. In the light of such performances, it
. is interesting to reread the Baltimore economy
plank: "We denounce the profligate waste of the
money wrung from the people by oppressive taxa
tion through the lavish appropriations of recent
republican congresses, which have kept taxes high
and reduced the purchasing power of the people's
toil. We demand i return to that simplicity and
economy which befits a democratic government
and a reduction in the number of useless offices,
the salaries of which drain the substance of the
people. -- " : .'i- ..-
THINGS HUGHES WOULD NOT HAVE
DONE. ' ' .
Championing the democratic appeal for reten
tion in power, one of the ardent newspaper ad
vocates of Wilson makes this statement:
The campaign seems to bid fair to be
waged on what the Wilson administration
has done rather than upon what the Hughes
administration would do. Hughes has made
it clear that he would have done nothing that
Wilson has done. j
Under stress of partisan enthusiasm, this is
not correctly put. The record of the democratic
party is properly subject to attack, even though
Wilson as president has inevitably done things
which any president in his place would likewise
have done. Hughes has not said that he would
have done nothing that Wilson has done, but he
has made it clear that Wilson has done a lot of
things he would not do.
Hughes would not, as Wilson has done, prom
ise to uphold and protect the rights of American
citizens everywhere and then wantonly sacrifice
them with, at best, warning that they are in for
eign lands or on the seas at their own risk.
Hnghes would not, as Wilson has done, pro
claim a polw of nonintervention in Mexico while
actively infvening to help one blood-steeped
faction win over another no more bloody.
Hughes would not, as Wilson has done, fritter
away two years of valuable time, with Europe
aflame with war, pooh poohing preparedness as
wholly unnecessary and then suddenly embrace,
a' preparedness program contradicting all his
Hughes would not, as Wilson has done, force
on the statute books a tariff in utter disregard of
American labor and industry under pretense of
reducing the high cost of living, and then, when
it failed to produce the needed revenue, or to
reduce the cost of living, resort to war taxes in
time of peace. : '
Hughes would not, as Wilson has done, help
any combination of interests to club congress Into
enacting a law under time limit without investi
gation or information.!
Hughes would not, as Wilson has done, pledge
himself to canal tolls exemption and then go to
congress in person to have the exemption law
repealed.' ; :- , ?.'. :; v. .-.y
Hughes would not, as Wilson has done, sol
emnly commit himself to a one-term presidency
and then present himself for re-election.
No, Wilson has probably done some things
that Hughes would also have done but he has
done these things, and many more, that Hughes
would not have done. ,
3 , ' ' Visiting Nurss Tag Day.- .;
Tag days have come to be considered some
thing of a nuisance, and are frowned upon as
such, but one to which Omaha cheerfully submits
as an annual affair, is promoted in the interest of
the Visiting Nurse association. This is one of
the better known charities of the city, .conducted
by philanthropic women who give their time to
the work of alleviating suffering and mitigating
sickness among the poor. The money raised by
their "tagging" goes to benefit the most helpless,
and, therefore, the most deserving. The man
'Who' wears a tag today may feel he , has con
tributed to s good cause and will know in advance
that "what he has given will not be wasted. That
is why Omaha wilt 'welcome the taggers, and
with each mite donated wish the Visiting Nurses
alt success in their work. ,
I Neutral Mails and British Interference. '
British interference with neutral rights has
reached a point where mails from the United
States to the Far East are to be carried by army
transports to make certain they may reach their
destination without being held up by a British
warship. This phase of the war can hardly be
noted with satisfaction by Americans, who have
been assured by their president that everything
possible is being done to maintain and protect
our rights in all parts of the world. The matter
has long been under consideration through the
channels of diplomacy. More than a year has
elapsed since the first note, protesting against
limitation of freedom of the seas and interruption
of communication between neutrals, was dis
patched from Washington to London, and as yet
no satisfactory reply has been had. Months ago
a note specifically dealing with the mail question
was sent, but it remains unanswered.
The British cabinet calmly Ignores the com
munications from Washington, although unoffi
cial intimations' have been received that indicate
no modification of existing policy is contemplated
in London. So far the administration has not
shown even the spirit of Sweden in meeting the
situation by retaliation. Our government has
pursued a course of tacit submission to continued
violation of neutrality, which does not square
with the repeated protestations.
Congress threatens to force the hand of the
executive by attaching riders to the emergency
revenue measure, but this will only serve to em
phasize the sorry failure of the negotiations of
the State department with England.
. Something New for Tennessee. .
The presence of a republican candidate for
preaident of the United States on the sacred aoil
of Dixie ia an unusual experience for the demo
crats of the southland. Therefore the reception
accorded Ur. Hughes by the chivalrous Tennea
aeeans wad essentially partisan democratic, but
its ending was typically American. Heckling is
not established as a custom of political campaign
ing in the United States, but the imported prac
tice was well encountered by the republican candi
date, who by his fairness and frankness, as well
as by his positive force, finally won hearty cheers
of the crowds addressed at Nashville. The south
is democratic, but not as solid as the brigadiers
would have the public believe.' Leaven of a new
life is working among the voters there, and a
change in political lines is coming. - The - old
time ruling oligarchy, tottering on its last legs,
will be forced to fight this time as never before,
if it withstands again the onalaught of popular
government represented in the nation by the re
publican party. "
The Florence bank robber closed his season's
engagement with befitting thrills and dash in San
Francisco. Had the holdup's discretion equalled
his nerve there ia no telling how long he might
have njoyed "easy money." But his methods
lacked variety. Sameness of object and means
marked his trail and wrought his timely finish.
, The abounding fruitfutness of Nebraska soil
is good to look upon in field, orchard or garden.
Its rest glory is limited to the range of vision.
The state fair exhibita present the complete
spectacle in tabloid form, and reveala the fruitful
teamwork of soil and toil. Go to itl "
Thought Nugget for the Day.
Of law there can be no less acknowledged
u.H i,o I, ; th hnsnm nf God. her voice
the harmony of the world. All things in heaven
and earth do her homage the very least as feel
ing her care, and tne greatest as rnn. ci.im
from her power. Richard Hooker. ' t
One Year Ago Today in the War.
Germans moveu on ruga wun ncci
Rumored Washington would demand recall
of Dr. Dumb'a. ' ' ,
Austria reported gains in uancia ana voi
hynia. Rome announced Italian - gains on upper
Isonzo river and in the Tyrol.
This Day in Omaha Thirty YlkVs Ago.
vnarics r, ecu Nam mv j
Wemple were married at 2116 California street,
the ceremony Being pertormea oy iv. j.
Harris, pastor of the Baptist church.
Ti , L.-. f . V, Vnrt h Omaha hrasa hand
A IIG 11.1. Ml 1J- t v. ' ' "
repaired to the residence of Prof. A. R. Toozer,
it being his tiltietn Dirtnoay, ano auer a icin
the boys were ushered in when their leader, A. J.
Lauger, stepped forward and with a short speech
presented him, on behalf of the boys, with a
beautiful gold-headed cane with the inscription
"Presented by the N. O. B." thereon.
M. Buck and wife of North Auburn, Neb., are
jn the city the guests of W. H. Green. '
President Bechel of the city council was look
ing around for a place to invest his share out of
the last appropriation ordinance in a new over
coat to replace the one taken from his office by
an enterprising sneak thief. - .
"O'Keefe is sick, Timme is out of itown and
Corliss and me can't do business alone," said
Mike Leahy in accounting for the closed doors
of the county commissioner's rooms.
The German theater at Boyd's under the man
agement of Baureis, Puis and Schmitz, will com
mence their winter season September 12 with the
new play, "Gebrueder Bock."
A large attendance gathered at the Boyd to
welcome the favorite, Patti Rosa, with her ex
cellent company in "Zip." The performance did
not commence until 8:30 o'clock on account of
the Mardi Gras entertainment. , ... .
The Day in History. !
1620 Mayflower sailed from Plymouth har
bor, having on board 101 passengers.
1766 John Dalton, famous English chemist,
discoverer of the "law of atomic combination,"
born. Died July 27, 1844.
, 1815 Rt. Rev. Samuel Provoost, first Epis
copal bishop of New York, died in New York
City. Born there February 26, 1742.
1825 General Lafayette passed his sixty
eighth birthday as a guest at the White House
in Washington. ,
1841 Sir Robert Peel became premier of
Great Britain for the second time.
1866 President Johnson laid the cornerstone
for the Stephen A. Douglas monument in Chi
cago.. 1876 Mr. Gladstone's "Horrors in Bulgaria"
published. - f , v-
. 1898 A Mohammedan outbreak in Crete was
followed by massacres of Christians and a bom
bardment of Candia by the powers. i , . r
1901 Shooting of President McKinley at the
Buffalo exposition. f j
1905 Massacre of Jews at Kichineff, Russia.
. 1909 Commander Peary announced his dis
covery of the North Pole from Indian Harbor,
Labrador, ( - - t
The Day We Celebrate.
Edgar C. Snyder, Washington correspondent
of The Bee, was born September 6, 1860, at
Philadelphia, He was for many years on the
reportorial staff of The Bee and has represented
this paper at the national capital for twenty-one
- Patrick J. Doran, employed by the Union
Pacfic, was born September 6, 1882. He is a
native son of Omaha and has worked at different
times for the Cudahy and Armour packing com
panies. . V ' ' 1 '
Miss Jane Addams, noted sociologist and
peace advocate, born at Cedarville, 111., fifty-six
years ago today.
Howard E Coffin, noted automobile .builder
and member of the Naval Advisory board, born
at West Milton, O., forty-three years ago today.
Emile Combes, former premier of France,
born at Roquecourbe.Tarn, seventy-seven years
ago today, ' ' :
James K. Hackett, noted actor and manager,
born at Wolfe Island, Ont, forty-seven years ago
today. " . v-- r ' " '
Henry S. Canby, professor of English at Yale
university, born at Wilmington, Del., thirty-eight
years ago oday.
R. Hall McCormick, noted Chicago capitalist,
born in Rockbridge county, Virginia, sixty-nine
years ago today.
John B. Kendrick, the present governor' of
Wyoming, born fifty-nine years ago today.
Lieutenant General Sir Archibald Hunter, one
of the distinguished British army commander,
born sixty years ago today.
John H. Burke, dean of the municipal court
judges of Boston, born at Chelsea, Mass., sixty
years ago today. - ; ;' ' 1
Timely Jottings and Reminders. .' -
Today is the fifteenth anniversary-of the as
sassination of President McKinley.
In response to an appeal signed by many
eminent men of the nation, exercises in honor of
the birthday anniversary of General Lafayette
are to be held today in numerous cities through
out the United States. ' - :-
The annual convention of the League of
American' Municipalities is to meet today at
Newark, N. J., and will continue in session until
the end of the week. .
Charles E. Hughes, ' republican nominee for
president, is scheduled to deliver an address to
day in Cincinnati. . '
The forty-eighth annual convention of the
National American Woman Suffrage association,
beginning its sessions today at Atlantic City, is
expected to be one of the most important confer
ences in the history of the equal suffrage move
ment. Conferences of the Methodist Episcopal
church are to open today as follows: Kentucky
conference. Bera, Ky.; Illinois conference,
Springfield, III.; St. Louis German conference,
Peoria, 111.; Des Moines conference, Glenwood,
la.; Montana conference, Livingston, Mont.;
Columbia River conference, Lewiston, Idaho;
Wyoming State conference. Douglas, Wyo.;
West .German conference, Denver; West, Wis
consia conference, Whitewater, Wis.
Storyette of the Day.
. A fat man playing horse on all fours for the
kiddies is a spectacle worth while. It is great
fun for the kids and for the fat man if he has the
saving grace of humor in his system.
Uncle Tow hopped around on all fours, puffing
and grunting between times with his 190 odd
pounds of avoirdupois. i
Kour-ytar'old Flo tried . vainly for a saddle
hold, astride or sideways, but the abundant girth
was too much for short arms. After slipping
off the elevation repeatedly the - youngster
swatted the "horse" on the swatter, exclaiming:
I "You big. fat slob!"
"Say that again," commanded Uncle Tow as
he collapsed on the sward. :
"I said 'You big, fat ttfingl' '
' -But the apology came too late. Ihe barb
had entered the aurplus flesh.
EPOCHS IN RAILWAY HISTORY.
Air-hrakas wara Brit mad on Amerioan
paaiangar train in 18S8. ' . .
Tha total number of railroad employe! in
tha United States ia about 1.740.0O.
More than 6S.SM pasienger eara are in
u on railroads In the United States.
More than 1.600,000 eara of all alaises are
used by tha railroads of this country.
Tha Srst veitibuled train was put into
service on the Pennsylvania road in 1886.
Tha Srit Pullman sleeping- car was put into
operation on tha Chicago Alton road
The aggregate mileage of railway tracks of
all kinds in tha United Sutes ia nearly
180.000 miles. v -
The first railroad to reach the Missouri
river was tha Hannibal St St. Joseph road,
completed in 18SS.
One of the Aral railroads In America was
a gravity road constructed at Mauch Chunk,
Pa., for tha transportation of coal.
Three years after tha Chicago 4 Alton
road established ita sleeping ear service the
Srit dining ear waa put into service -en the
The latest available figures show the total
operating expensea of tha railroads in the
United SUtes to be in excess of 12,250,000,
000 a year. v ' 1
One of tha Srst American locomotives
waa built by tha West Point (N. Y.)
foundry for the South Carolina railroad,
which was opened in 1830.
The Srst great trunk line system in
America was tha Cleveland Toledo rail
road, which established a continuous line
of 1,000 miles between Boston and Chicago
Tha first locomotive used in the United
States waa "The Stourbridge Lion,' brought
over from England and put into service on
the Honesdale A Carbondale railroad in
Pennsylvania in IMS,
. The South Carolina railroad, which began
operation between Charleston and Augusta
In 18SS, had a continuous line of lis miles,
which at that time waa tha longest line of
railroad in tha world.
Tha first passenger eara used on American
railroads were of tha English type. The mod
em American type of ear with tha aisle
running through the center was first put
Into general use on the Baltimore A Ohio
railroad in the early '50s.
The first railroad in America built ex
pressly for transporting freight and pas
sengers waa the Baltimore Ohio, which
was regularly opened in 1SS0, after having
been operated for a time as a horse-railroad.
At the time .of opening the road
had a total length of fourteen miles,
Mrs. Russell Saga will be 88 years old next
Three young women are studying at the
Colorado School of Mines to prepare them
selves for prospecting.
The daughter of tha late Elbert Hubbard
of "Roycroft" fame la eddying the dramatic
art at a Boaton school. .
Miss Yuet Ha Ting, a na.lve af Hong
Kong, has recently written a play for her
fellow students at Oberlht college. .'
'Forty-four veers of eontinuoua aerviea as
a Sunday school teacher is the record of
Miss Ella P. Johnston of South Orange, N. 1.
Miss Joanna Marshall of Baltimore, now
in her SSth year, haa been writing poetry
for magasines for nearly three-quarters of a
The National Federation of Women of Nor
way has .passed a resolution demanding equal
rights for women aa for men to be appointed
as priests In tha Norwegian state church.
Mary E. Lease whose activities in behalf
of tha woman rights movement made her
name a household word some years ago, Is
now employed as a lecturer in the New York
public schools. - - r. :
Miss May Healy, a teacher at North Plato,
til., who walked 2,000 miles In -two years in
going to and from her school, has been pre
sented with a gold medal by patrons of the
school for faithfulness, r
' Anne Henrietta Martin, president of the
national woman's party, ia a native of Nevada
and a graduate of ita atate university. She
Is a proltflo writer for the press and has long
been prominent in social reform movements.
IUlnote haa coma o the front with a
woman railway president. She ia Mrs. Mary
A. Landon of South Elgin and the road of
which she is the chief executive is known
aa the Woodstoek-8yeamore Traction com
pany, which is doing a large passenger and
freight business between the towns ot Syca
more and Marengo, 111.
V Wtuhlngrton Poiti Social color bltndncii
eonilits. lti) aa Inability to a former ac
quaintance in a laat aaaaon'i motor ear.
PitUbumh Diipatch: But if anythintj
rctnalni of tht handa-Mroia-tht-iea stuff,
won't they and our anxiety and tell ua if
tha Bremen really waa captured T . ,
Boaton Transcript: The argument be
tween Senator Penrose and "Gum Shoe Bill"
Stojie over eampaign slush funds was the
nearest thine; to a draw sinoe the hlstorie
debate between the pot and the kettle.
f Baltimore American: The news that the
paper famine may be relieved within a few
montha is reassurine;, if not altogether
cheering. For the country stands aghast
at 'the terrible prospect of having 'nothing
to writ more notea on. w
Chicago Herald: It is officially stated that
the National Guard will remain on the border
until the danger to American life and prop
erty has passed. Sounds like a Kathleen
ICavourneen sort of assignment "It may
be for years and it may be forever,"
Cleveland Plain Dealer) Some aesthetic
person says an automobile should be more,
than an insensate maehine. It should bo a
sentiment. Uaybe so, but the sentiment
that doesn't get more than seven miles out
of a gallon ot gasoline isn't entitled to any
Brooklyn Eagle : That great Mormon
tabernacle in Salt Lake City never was used
for a political meeting till Hughes' spoke
there the other day. Utah, which stood in
the last ditch with Taft in IBIS, has woman
suffrage, and how many votes a married man
controls ta always a pussle.
New York, World: Germany's production
of sugar this year ia expected to exceed that
of lt year by 800,000 .tons. In France
the vintage far exceeds that of previous
years. - Apparently some old ideas of war's
depressing effect In Industry and agriculture
need t be revised in the light of modern
AROUND THE CITIES.
Out 1 in Sacramento a barefoot
league haa been formed to boycott the
uplift In leather. : n,,-
Eight Den Moines men carry life
insurance pollclee of 110.000 and
over. E. T. Meredith tops the list
A Baltimore woman willed her for
tune to her aon In trust until he la 0.
The dear woman knew Baltimore and
took proper precautions aerainst the
spending tendencies of the kid.
" A petition signed by 5,000 residents
of Wichita aeka for the repeal of the
ordinance cloning theaters on Sundays.
The huetllng enterprise of theater
men drew compliment from the city
dada nothing more. i
Des Moinea haa installed two beer
hounds In the police department
Their task I to chsje bootleggers to
their lair. The nret tryout netted
twenty gallons of beer, half a dosen
gallons of whisky and one bootlegger.
Sioux City's school aaseta in land,
buildings and equipment foot up
1,S93.073. Cash on hand. Including
taxed in process of collection, amount
to the additional sum of 1310,38.
Last year's revenue waa $667,721 and
the expenses 1441, 0(t.
Denver thia year scored consider
able success In utilising vacant city
lots as gardens, cultivated by school
children. Next year promoters of
garden thrift propoae to use every
vacant lot in the city and make the
city beautiful and economic reality, i
Agent Couldn't you use some signs
around your store? For Instance, this one:
"If Tou Don't See -What You Want, Aak
Dealer Too stale! If you have one read
Ing: "rf You Don't Bee What Tou Want,
Amk For Bom-thlni Else, 111 Uke It."
Tou sit on your horse like a butcher,"
said a pert young officer, who happened
to be of royal blood, to a veteran general
who waa somewhat bent from age.
"It lm highly probable," responded the
old warrior with a grim smile; "xll my
life I have been leading calvee like you
to the slaughter' Boston Transcript.
"Times have changed."
"Ten," -replied Mr. Qrowcher. "I don't
believe you'll ever hear any of the young
sters now growing up wishing for the kind
of pie their mothers used to make." Wash
rVfc HE WPWtfCSED T6 ME-
Belny See that woman across the street?
Omar Tea; what of her?
Helny she's a female train robber.
Omar Is that sot
Helny Yes; she Invented the am wed-off
skirt Indianapolis Star.
J When people- wish to honor a man by
putting hla picture In a public place, and
when they want to Insult another before
everybody, they do the same thing to both."
"How do you mean?"
"Don't they hang thera In effigy? Balti
"Was there ever a woman who did not
grab her skirt's and jump for a chair or a
table when she saw a mouse?"
. "Yep, Eve.'! Browning's Magatine.
"I am not afraid that my daughter will
ever marry In haste."
"It will take at leat six montha to pre
pare any trousseau she would consider lit
to marry In." Louisville Courier Journal.
Madge Don't you think a girl should
marry an economical man?
Dolly I suppose so, but It's awful being
engaged to one. Philadelphia Record. .
"I Just adore western men," gushed the
girl who had never been west of Hoboken.
"You are all ao big and bluff and hearty."
"Well, when it comes to that,'' replied
the westerner, "I've seen some pretty big
bluffs right here In New York City." New
George was hampered by a mother whose
Idea of godliness was cleanliness. Notwith
standing the frequent bathe, to which he
was oondsmnsd, George thrived eiceedingty.
One day a neighbor remarked on his rapid
f"?ei'" eald George; "that's Mil fault,
tjhe waters me so much." New York Timee
'I told roe last Sabbath, children," aaid
the Sunday school teacher, "that you ahouid
all try and make some one happy during
the week. How many of you hve?
I did," answered the boy Promptly
"That? nice, Johnny. What did you do?"
"I went to see my aunt, and shs s alw s
glad when I go home again." Dal laa News.
"What's the trouble 7"
7ved that girl's Ufa tha other day.
and we got engaged."
A beautiful summer idyL wnats
W!oTihar fellow dragged her
.urf today. Does that nullify my claims.
---Kansas City Journal.
"What did you say to your wife whsn
you got home at 12 laet night?"
"My dear." ( .
"Yhbegan talking th.n."-Bostoit
Transcript. ... .
"My doar, our automobile looks so cheap
beside the one our nelshbors have. We
ought to fat the latest make.
I know w. ought, but this la the only
house I have 10 mortfase." Baltimore
ON A HOTEL VERANDA.
New York Times.
Three women with double china
One is making pink buttons.
nne nas a, mien,
That trickles out
As though It oosed
From the sticky ends
Of her mo lasses -colored hair.
The second, with a tremendoue breast,
Is knitting a Nils-green scarf.
Her eyes are dim and watchful, ,
Like an old eagle's.
m rnM thai srlrrar nf the BUrf .
She works steadily,
And the green scarf laps over mottled bands
That glitter with precious stones.
The third's needles and tongue
If shs were to help
With that hooked nose of hers
The ruby shawl would be finished sooner.
The high-heeled shoes of all three
Tap the floor,
And they talk busily of nothing.
It Is evident that they have Just finished
They have the satisfied look
Of oily salads,
Well dished up and finished.
A huge motor purrs up: '
Ah! The thin man In white
With a head like an ostrich egg
Has arrived for ths week-end.
(He Is the husband of the mottled one.)
And new for the Yaeht club!
They waddle off,
Carrying their day's work
In pale silk bags.
What will they do at the Yacht club? ,
They will alt on that veranda..
They will knit 1 ,
In creaking rocking chairs
Turned well away from the shine of the surf.
ST ATI? 17 A 119
eif 1 ft. af-tium
SEPTEMBER 4-9, 1916
REGULAR TRAINS From Omaha daily
7:10 A. M. 8:20 A. M. 9:16 A. M. 1:60 P. M.-r-4.16
P. M. 4:30 P. M. 7:60 P. M. 12:20 A. M.
SPECIAL TRAIN TUESDAY AND
WEDNESDAY From Omaha at 8 A. M. ; from South
Omaha at 8:15 A. M.; returning from Lincoln depot at
10 P. M. ' . ... t .;
"GREATER OMAHA" DAY THURSDAY
Special trains from Omaha at 8 A. M. and 9:45 A. H.;
from South Omaha, 8:15 A. H. and 10:00 A. M.; return
ing specials will leave Lincoln depot at 7:80 P. M. and
10:00 P. M. ,( . . . . .
REGULAR TRAINS From Lincoln Daily
at 6:10 A. M. 8:00 A. M 10:45 A. M. 1:15 P. M.
, 1:50 P. M. 4:80 P. M. 6:00 P. M. 11:30 P. M. Will
not stop opposite Fair Grounds.
SPECIAL TRAIN TUESDAY AND
WEDNESDAY from Lincoln depot at 10:00 P. M.
SPECIAL TRAINS THURSDAY FROM
LINCOLN DEPOT at 7:80 P. M. and 10:00 E. M.
aii urrcTDniiHn Derm ad ami-, cdeviai'
TTaisuvvisi is.uuiru mil iivirsb
TRAINS FROM OMAHA FROM 8 A. M., UP, TO AND
INCLUDING THE 1:50 P. M. TRAIN, WILL STOP AT
FAIR GROUNDS; EASTBOUND TRAINS FROM
LINCOLN WILL NOT STOP AT FAIR GROUNDS
AND SHOULD BE TAKEN AT LINCOLN DEPOT.
The Household Remedy
for the ailments from which almost everyone sometimes
suffers sick headache, constipation, disturbed sleep,
muddy complexion, lassitude, backache, depression and
other results of a disordered digestive system is
They have achieved the distinction of being the most
widely used medicine in the world, because millions of
j people have found them dependable, speedy and sure in
their action on stomach, liver, kidneys and bowels. ;
Compounded from vegetable products, Beech tm's Pills sra frM from
harmful miterals and dangerous drugs. They do not promote the
physicing habit do not irritate the bowels. Should betaken br every ,
member of the family at the first sign of illness so mild and effective
that they are good for the aged, and. for the ills of childhood, are ,
Safe for Children
Direct! eaa of Special Val to Waeaaa with Evsry Sea.
Sold by drag(its tarsal hem tka weald, la bssna, 10c, 25a.
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
hov good r advertising may- be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be r e a 1 1 y successful.
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