THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 16, 1916.
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THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD KOSEWATER
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
THK BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY. PBOPBIETO.
Entand at Omaha poatoffie. aa aacand-claaa matter.
Br Mall
Bar yaar.
U.tO
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' REMITTANCE.
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OFFICES.
Omaha The Bea Bulldhur.
South Omaha 2S1b N etraat.
Council Blnffe 14 North Mala tract
Lincoln 62 Little Bulldlnt.
Chieao Sit People'a Ga Bulldmc.
New York Room 103. lit Fifth avenue,
na T vni a K na nm. Rank of Commerae.
Waahlniton 7f Fourteenth .tract, N. W.
' " CORRESPO'DENCE.
Addraaa eommunicationa ralatlnc to awa and editorial
matter to Omaha Baa. Editorial Department.
JULY CIRCULATION.
57,569 Daily Sunday 52,382
Dwirht William., circulation manaaar of The Baa
PnMiehlnr company, beinf duly worn, aaya that tha
averata circulation for tha month of July, lilt, ta)
7,66 daily and 5J.S82 Sunday.
DWIOHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Mania.
Subicribad In my pretence and awora to befo- m
thU Id day of Aufut, IH.
ROBERT HUNTER. Notary Publle.
Subscribers luvinf tha city tamporarlly
' ihould hava Thai Baa mailed to tbam. Ad
draaa will b ahanfad as oftam u raajuaitad.
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' Nearly 90,000 automobilei re now registered
in Nebraska. Some auto. t
Between the auto hold-up and the auto thief,
the life of the auto owner ! not a continuous joy
Still, our soldier boys would not have to go all
the way to the Mexican border merely to fight
mosquitoes.
The old "billion-dollar congress" that used to
draw democratic fire looks like a piker beside the
democratic congress of today.
Little navy men in congress show more cour
age than discretion in attempting to beat back
preparedness waves with wind.
"Thieves break in at the state house" says an
item from Lincoln. Why go to o much trouble
when it Is so easy to walk in the front door?
The boom in Omaha bank clearings is all the
more impressive because it reflects the industrial,
commercial and agricultural interests of city and
state.
It is evident from their exchange of hot com
pliments that Senator Larry Sherman and Sam
Gomperi do not work the same side of the avenue
in Washington. i
An Omaha man announcing a record fih catch
explains that he was accompanied at the time by a
well-known attorney which makes it look more
like a frame-up than the average fish story.
Of coarse, there is no politics in this railway
strike threat and promise of settlement. It is
mere coincidence that the wage dispute is brought
to a head just in front of s presidential election.
"The most august assemblage in the world,"
managed to keep a straight face while Senator
Tom Taggart roundly rebuked congressional
waste. Senatorial courtesy Is t wonderful institution'.
',' Semi-official word it given that Fresident Wil
son is not "too proud to fight" for re-election on
issues of his own selection. ' Welcome the an
nouncement It indicates that democrats will at
least go through the motions.
' The International Typographical union is not
a short-sighted body; it seet plainly that the con
traction of the siie of the newspapers forced by
: the high price of print paper means less type set'
ting at the cost of compositors and like conditioni
in job printing shops. Another illustration of the
solidarity of employer and employe.
Edgar Howard, whose elevation to the lieu--,
tenant governorship should be one of the ac
, complisnmentt of the voters, election day.
World-Herald. , .
No, this endorsement is not in the editorial
column, but only a hand-out in the "political gos
sip." The World-Herald editor is having great
difficulty restraining himself from printing what
he really things about Edgar Howard.
' 1
Look Behind the Platform.
The democratic Columbus Telegram appears to
be greatly distressed because the platform adopted
by the democrats to go before the people" of Ne
braska this year is silent on three subjects that
it thinks should have been included. We main
tain that the platforms of all the parties are
plenty long enough even though they might have
readily been made to cover many more points.
Political platforms have rightly come to be looked
on as mere outlines of party policy on vital issues
rather than detailed programs. Formal declara
tions are good guide posts for the voters so far
as they go, but they must be accepted with due
allowance for the general reputation of the party
behind the platform for veracity, fidelity to ob-
igations and capacity for performance. The best
possible promise from some one with a known
record of repudiated pledges or proved to be in
competent to deliver the goods is not worth
much. It is dependability and performance that
count, or should count, at much as platform pro
nouncements.
i: Nebraska Press Comment
Plattsmouth Journal (Dem.): It is not likely
that Mr. Harman will get far with his proposition
to make his office of food inspector good for six
years and keep him on the job. Why single out
tooa inspectors r 4
Hartinsrton Herald: A democratic contemoo
rary wants to know how there can be anv iov in
the republican camp when there it no way to
credit the gain in bank resourcei to a republican
tariff law. Well, laying party politics aside, the
American people got more joy out of resources
founded upon a protective tariff than they do out
of profits drawn from the battle fields of Europe.
Ord Quiz: The democrats are iust now fond
of quoting Lincoln's saying about swapping horses
while crossing a stream: but there are exceptions
to all rules. He is a chump who would not swap
if the horse he was riding balked, or became weak
and wabbly and showed signs of Ivine down with
him in midstream. At this time there are strong
symptoms of determination on the part of the
; voters of this country to do some horse swapping
next November,
Wausa Gazette: We note by the dailies that
Bryan is going to take the stump for Wilson in
the present campaign, in the east, but so far we
have seen no intimation made that he will he nn
the stump in Nebraska for Mr. Hitchcock or the
democratic state ticket. When asked if he meant
to attend the democratic state convention. Mr.
Bryan replied that the brewery gang has nomi
nated tne ticket ana are welcome to take care of
the coming campaign, and probabilities are that
he is of the same opinion still.
Beatrice Express: The Omaha World-Herald
it unduly excited over the resignation of Chairman
McNish of the reoublican state central committer
Mr. McNish resigned merely because his ideas and
: those of Judge Sutton and other state candidates
relative to the manner of the management of the
coming state campaign did not coincide. It waa
the decent thine for him to do. The candidate.
. for United States senator, governor and other
state offices are entitled to nave tomething to say
as to the methods of conducting the campaign,
and no one not in full sympathy with them should
tor a moment seek to remain in the state com
mute' . i . '
Blaming It Onto Electricity,
Some entertaining diversion is afforded by
the views of s correspondent, who maintains that
the sun does not send out heat, his belief, appar
ently, being that the cause of those blistering days
during July was either. a superabundance or a
misbehavior of electricity. Another eminent
Omahan, who has amused and edified the public
by hit wireless manipulations, comes forth with
the word that hay fever is occasioned by elec
tricity. And who is going to say them nay? A
few years ago we had tome definite notions about
tuch thingt, and had even evolved tome "laws"
to govern them. Then came radium in the wake
of helium, and between the pair they upset all
ideas of matter and natural forces and their laws,
and required that scientists hastily construct a
new cosmos. This was built on electricity, and
there you have it.
In present day science, the electron is the
basis of the ion, and from them we build up. So,
if electricity it the primal cause, why may it not
be the real reason for the sun's so-called heat, the
irritating element that makes the hay fever victim
sneeze, as well as the active agent in other forms
of good and ill in life? We know it used to be
the thunder that turned the milk sour in the pans,
and it was lightning that caused the thunder, and
now we know electricity causes lightning. Thus,
gradually, we are bringing home the underlying
influence, and with confidence may we blame it
all on electricity. And, so long as we know no
more than we do of electricity, its whys and
wherefores, we are safe in this.
Fending Off Trouble.
Premier Asquith gracefully fends off further
trouble for the British government by proposing
to extend the life of the present parliament until
the end of May next. In doing this he is able to
evade the complexity involved in the proposed
extension of franchise to include all toldiert in
the field and all munition workers. This proposal
is complicated in tome degree by the presence of
woman in the munition factories, and the awkward
fact that it would be ungallant, at least, to permit
her to assist in saving the country by doing a
man's work in the mills and otherwhere, and at
the same time deny her full participation in the
shaping of the government the hat to generously
defended. Mr. Atquith sayt this is not the time
to take up the discussion of the franchise, and
perhaps he's right, to far as Great Britain is con
cerned, but he will find It waiting for him in May,
just as it Is today.
Raiting the Revenut.
With the appropriation! totalling well up to
two billiont of dollars in tight, the democrats in
congress are sorely perplexed as to how to secure
the income that will equal their extravagant out
go. The administration revenue bill, just agreed
to by the senate eaucut, is a wonderful patchwork
of makeshifts and expedients. Its coy and coquet
tish approach to protection, in the form of a duty
on dyestuffs, It amusing enough, and is rendered
the more so by the sudden shying noted in the
amendment to suspend the duty during the war.
This will permit the Deutschland to come again
and again, at often at it likes, with its cargo of
dyet, and enter them duty free, to the discourage
ment of the industry now sought to be established.
Stamp taxes and surtaxes are inextricably con
fused in the measure, and a special grab is made
for a ahare of the profits on munitioni contracts.
For some reason the framert of the measure over
looked a provision that would make the gamblers
in grain share their winnings with Uncle Sam, but
this it about the only thing the bill does not in
clude. The bill, as it now standi, may, if passed,
produce revenue, but it will certainty provide
work. It it chiefly valuable as indicating the
democratic method of going about an important
undertaking. The president made definite recom
mendations to congress on the subject of revenue
in December, and the senate gett around to con
sider them in August. At least, there is no sign
that it has ceased to be the greatest "deliberative"
body in the world.
What answer will the voters give to this party.
which it now atking for endorsement of its record,
just being made up?
Warning Call That Should Be Heeded.
The collapse of that old Capitol hotel at Lin
coln, with serious, If not fatal, results to several
victims, is seized on by the Lincoln Journal as a
warning call for a roundup of dangerous tumble
down places. The mishap carries the same sug
gestion for Omaha as it does for Lincoln. It is
a good deal better to order old shacks demolished
and removed than to wait for them to fall of their
own accord at the wrong time. Buildings deter
iorate steadily unless kept in good repair, and the
fact that they have ones passed inspection does
not mean that they would ttitl stand the tett
A little stricter and more strenuous enforcement
of the building laws would not hurt in Omaha
any more than it would in Lincoln..
President Wilson's apologists say hs is being
attacked for appointing democrats to office. It it
not the appointment of democrats that puts him
in bad, but the kind of democrats he has been
appointing, and in most cases he cannot excuse
himself, as he can here In Omaha,' by shoving the
responsibility for an obnoxious selection over
onto our democratic senator.
The new British loan, offered to New York,
carries higher terms than the preyiout one nego
tiated by the allies. The loan it to run two ytan
at 5 per cent, and it offered at 99. Adding the cott
of placing the paper, the deal approximates 6 per
cent money, an extraordinary rate for the erst
while financial giant of the world.
nonAV
Thought Nugget for the Day.
The wealth of a man is the number of things
he loves and blesses, which he is loved and blessed
by. Thomas Carlyle.
One Year Ago Today in the War.
Germans captured outlying forts of Kovno and
Georgicvsk.
German submarine shelled three towns on
English coast along Irish sea.
Petrograd declared Russians had again driven
Germans back in Courland.
Paris reported violent artillery actions at many
points and successful French mining operations
in the Vosges.
This Day in Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
The gentlemanly waiters of the Paxton hotel,
among whom were Steven Lewisters, Jerry Hall,
Johnny Hughes, Frank Woods, Charley Esters,
Payton Owens and Joe Booker, serenaded the
new ice cream and private boarding parlors of
Mrs. A. C. Adams, 1606 Cass, just opened.
The cases against the fruit peddlars who have
been arrested for violation of the ordinance keep-
ing them off of Fa mam and Douglas streets have
all been dismissed but one, which will be tried
as a test case before the following jury: R. J.
Pieronet, John Fox. J. S. Caulfield, W. T. Seaman.
M. O. Maul and Tames Stephenson.
The Misses Molly and Sarah Fallon of Hills
boro, O., who have been visiting Mr. and Mrs.
Charles Taggart of Walnut Hill for several weeks,
have gone to Helena, Mont., for a continuance
of their summer pleasure.
D. C. Dunbar, editor of the Western Merchant
of this city, has gone to Portland to bring his
wife and child to Omaha, where he will take up
his permanent residence.
Prof. Pat Fallon has issued neat cards of in
vitation to a grand afternoon and evening recep
tion with which he proposes to celebrate the
opening of his new suburban resort "Cottonwood
Villa," formerly Croft's Club House. Every pre
paration has been made for a first-class time.
There will be music by the military band, grand
illuminations and fireworks and supper will be
served by Kingsley of Chicago.
Judge Wakeley and wife have left on a three
weeks' trip to Chicago and northern Washington.
This Day in History.
1777 Two detachments of British and Indians
from Burgoyne's army were defeated by the
Americans under General John Stark near Ben
nington, Vt.
1816 Sir Daniel Gooch, noted English engi
neer and associate of Cyrus Field in the laying of
the Atlantic cables, born. Died October 15, 1889.
1841 President Tyler vetoed the bill for the
establishment of a fiscal bank.
1866 The president issued a proclamation de
claring the blockade of Matamoras and other
Mexican ports, decreed by Maximilian, void.
1867 United States troops defeated 500 Sioux
Indians in battle at Plum Creek, near Omaha.
1877 President Hayes and other notables at
tended the centennial celebration of the battle of
Bennington, Vt
187ft Emil Hodel was executed in Berlin for
an attempt on the life of the German emperor.
1891 International Socialist Labor congress
began its sessions in Brussels.
1894 Santo, the assassin of President Carnot
of France, was beheaded in Lyons.
1895 Viscount Wolseley succeeded the duke
of Cambridge as commander-in-chief of the Brit
ish army.
The Day We Celebrate.
Al C. Scott, boss of the Omaha Tent & Awn
ing company, is an Omaha-born boy, just 34 years
old today. He began at the bottom in the tent
and awning works and kept going straight up until
he owned the whole enterprise.
J. H. Wise, one of Omaha's promising young
attorney's, is just 30 years old today. He was
born in Iowa.
Charles S. Mellen, former president of the
New York, New Haven & Hartford railroad, born
at Lowell, Mass., sixty-five years ago today. He
used to be a Union Pacfic man here in Omaha.
General Sir John Eccles Nixon, who was, for
nearly a year, in command of the British forces in
Mesopotamia, born fifty-nine years ago today.
Colonel Wilber E. wilder, in command of the
famous "Fighting Fifth" regiment of cavalry on
the Mexican border, born in Michigan, sixty years
ago today.
James Wilson, former secretary of agriculture
of the United States, born in Ayrshire, Scotland,
eighty-one yean ago today.
Locke Craig, the present governor of North
Carolina, born in Bertie county, North Carolina,
fifty-six years ago today.
Rt. Rev. Dennie J. Dougherty, Catholic bishop
of Buffalo, born at Girardville, Pa., fifty-one years
ago today.
George Wingfield, millionaire Nevada mining
man and one-time appointee to the United States
senate, born at Fort Smith, Ark., forty years ago
today.
Amos Alonzo Stagg, director of athletics at the
University of Chicago, born at West Orange, N.
J., fifty-four years ago today.
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
Vermont will keep a holiday today in celebra
tion of the 139th anniversary of the battle of Ben
nington. The town of Stratham, one of the oldest in
New Hampshire, will hold a jubilee today in cele
bration of the 200th anniversary of its founding.
The annual convention and exhibition of the
International Apple Shippers' .association will
open today at Niagara Falls, N. Y.
The National Negro Business league, founded
by the late Booker T. Washington, will begin its
annual convention today at Kansas City.
Members of the American Association of Rail
way Superintendents will assemble at Memphis
today for their annual convention.
A bronze statue of the "Green Mountain Boy,"
typifying Vermont's heroes of the revolution, is
to be unveiled today at Rutland.
Charles E. Hughes, republican nominee for
president, is scheduled to speak tonight at Port
land, Ore.
The annual convention of the Iowa State Asso
ciation of County Supervisors is to meet at
Davenport today for a three-day session.
The biennial convention of Evangelical Luth
eran synods will begin at Toledo today with dele
gates present representing more than a million
communicants of the church.
The annual convention of the Iowa State As
sociation of County Supervisors is to meet at
Davenport today for a three-day session.
High school and college boys from all parts of
the country will gather at Toledo today for the
national convention of the Phi Sigma Chi fra
ternity. Kingfield, the home of Maine's first governor,
for whom the town was named, will begin a three
day celebration of its centennial today. .
Storyette of the Day.
One of the clerks at a weather bureau took
unto himself a wife and it has been his endeavor
to interest her in his work at the office.
The other evening on coming home he said
"It was a terrible storm that swept through Jer
sey. The wind blew sixty miles an hour for thirty
minutes."
'"Welldearte. said the wife, anxious to show
an intelligent interest in the matter, it s lucky
isn t it, tnat it Diew only nait an hourr
"Why?"
"Well, thirty miles isn't nearly so bad." -Pitts
burgh Chronicle Telegraph.
Wake Up, Mr. Hotel Msn.
Omaha, Aug-. 15. To th Editor of Tta
Bee I The other evening, with two friend.,
I dined at one of our leading- hotels. The
dining- room was well appointed, the linen
clean, the silver shining and the general at
mosphere of the place gratifying. But the
waiter! Seffering Monet I The odor that
permeated the air round about him would
have proven his fortune had he but rented
himself out to the South Side packing
houses as an advance agentl
His sable garments, stiff with the per
spiration (too "classy" a word. 1 assure
you!) of these recent torrid weeks, might
have vied for popularity with those of Jean
Valjean after his memorable flight through
the city's sewer!
If our hotel men must have the services
of these dusky sons of Africa's aunny clime,
ean they not see to it that they are intro
duced to the mysteries nf the bath and clad
in sanitary garments that could be boiled
at least occasionally?
Mr. Hotel Man, whose middle name it Rip
Van Winkle, this means you, and you, and
you! Wake upl and try to realise that this
is not the Dark Ages, nor Is it Show-hee-gan,
but Nlneteen-Sixteen, and Omaha
our Pride of the West! Zounds!
NUNTOO SQWEEMISH.
Ex-Governor Shaw on Provincial Business.
New York. August 14. To the Editor of
The Bee: Speaking at. Detroit, President
Woodrow Wilson said some pleasing things,
and when viewed in the light of well known
facts they 'become very amusing things.
For instance:
"America, of all countries in the world,
has been timid and has not until within
the last two or three yean provided itself
with the fundamental instrumentalities for
playing a large part In the trade of the
world. America, which ought to have had
the broadest vision of any nation, has
raised up an extraordinary number of
provincial thinkers, men who thought provin
cially about business, men who thought that
the United States was not ready to take its
competitive part in the struggle for the
peaceful conquest of the world."
James J. Hill conceived a transportation
company that should circumnavigate the
globe and was progressing rapidly, when
the government interfered and prevented
the consummation of his dream. Does the
president libel the memory of James J. Hill
as a provincial thinker and actor, or does
he criticise the government of the United
States for the part it took?
E. H. Harriman conceived a transporta
tion system to extend from New York City
to the Pacific coast, southward across Mex
ico, across the Isthmus, across Central
America and across South America, but the
government, supplemented by death, pre
vented consummation. Will the president
please designate the object of his criticism T
Is it Mr. Harriman or the government?
The Standard Oil company did circum
navigate the earth. It conveyed Its products
across the continent in tank cars and pipe
lines, carried it beyond all seas in tank
steamers, took it pretty much the entire
length of the Andes mountain ranges, on
the backs of caravans' of llamas, 2,000
miles up the Yanktzee river by boat and
thence for a thousand miles inland on the
backs of coolies to the very heart of China,
but the courts dissolved it because other
concerns had not done the same thing.
Shall it enlarge and extend its operations
or quit entirely? Will the president be
more specific?
The International Harvester company un
dertook to carry American perfected agri
cultural implements across all seas and un
der all skies and to anticipate the injunc
tion with which the president closed the
speech referred to, "Go out and sell goods
that will make the world more comfortable
and more happy and convert them to the
principles of America." Does President
Wilson approve or disapprove of the Inter
national Harvester company, or does he ap
prove of the efforts of the government to
limit its operations?
The United States Steel Corporation
claims to have sought fn a quiet and unob
trusive way to be unpruvmcial and, finding
it impossible to compete in overseas trans
portation against subsidized ships of other
countries ever ready to carry domestic
freight at nominal' rates, and frequently
gratis, charging extra for conveying Amer
ican products, purchased ships that it might
put the products of American labor on the
western coast of South America, up into
Alaska and Vancouver, but it, too, found
itself in the tolls of judicial proceedings.
The fact that it was able to show itself
guiltless did not prevent the government,
under the direction of our orator president,
from prosecuting an appeal to force the
Steel Corporation to be provincial in both
thought and conduct. Will the president
square his actions in the premises with
his speech at Detroit, or square future
speeches with his acts?
The great packing houses and the United
Fruit company have each sought to be
provincial, but the former has not escaped
the courts, nor has the latter avoided the
watchful eye of the ubiquitous army of high
salaried inspectors, investigators and prose
cutors. I speak of these things not to question
the wisdom of the American people for hav
ing demanded governmental insistence that
American business men must and shall be
provincal, but to suggest that Mr. Wilson
must have failed to note the ever present
restlessness and chafing caused thereby. I
suggest that if the author of the "New
Freedom In Business" is as anxious that
American business, men shall take a large
part in the world, as his speech would indi
cate, and if he is willing to grant immunity
from criminal prosecution to those who seek
to follow his suggestions this is a splendid
time to publicly announce that policy. Abso
lute frankness on his part should have great
Influence in the campaign.
LESLIE M. SHAW.
EDITORIAL SIFTINGS.
Indianapolis News: What makes a soldier?
Ability to endure hardships. But there's no
denying that the excitement of combat is his
rightful reward and the glory of homecom
ing. Pittsburgh Dispatch: Secretary McAdoo
has warned Treasury employes against undue
political activity, and there are some post
masters who could tell that not enough of it
is likewise dangerous.
Chicago Herald: Danish statesmen declare
that the sale of the Danish West Indies was
forced on them by the United States. Doubt
less meaning thereby that this country of
fered so much money it was impossible to
resist accepting.
Chicago Herald: We have with us the
statistical election prophets. You ean get
the same results without the labor by fol
lowing the plan by which Bertie in "The
Henrietta" decided which way to play the
stock market
Springfield Republican: Editor S. S. Me
Clure must have satisfied the British cen
sor that he means no harm by stating in
an interview telegraphed to New York that
the British are wonderful, indeed amasing,
in their war equipment and are prepared to
fight two years more for tbe victory that Is
sure to come.
Philadelphia Ledger: Secretary McAdoo
Is a humorist. He has Issued drastic orders
that none of the employes of the Treasury
department shall engage In pernicious politi
cal activity during the campaign, while all
over the country from the postmasters up,
the great cohort of grateful democrats are
working tooth 'and nail to keep themselves
and their chief in office,
Indianapolis News: The appointment of A.
T. Hert as manager of the western branch
of the Hughes campaign, headquarters in
Chicago, will appeal to republicans of the
middle west as a natural and deserved po
litical preferment. It is of especial interest
to Indiana, for Mr. Hert i a native of
this state and it waa her he first dis
closed his organizing abilities. Only re
cently he has been made a member of the
republican national committee from Ken
tucky, and the party at large has come to
recognise his forceful qualities. An ag
gressive campaign may be anticipated with
Mr. Hert in this important managerial capacity.
SMILING LINES.
"Thst horrid Mrs. Caddy says hr chil
dren are her Jewels."
"Well, from the way they spy out things
about th neighbors for her to make milt
ful comments on, I should call thorn
cat'seyes." Baltimore American.
Teacher Johnny, can you tell me what a
hypocrite is?
Johnny Ves. ma'am. It's a boy what
comes to school with a smile on his fac -
Brooklyn Citizen.
"What (s Gertrude Uader's latest fad?"
"Prison reform."
"Along whttt lines?"
"8he thinks that evry convict ought to
have a canary In his cell." Birmingham
Agtt-HrraM.
MY WCE ONLY TREATS WF TO
PICTURE SHCWS AND GUM
SH0UU t WE HIM UP f
no -not if HE3Wrwiss!
HE SIMPLY DOKT WW YOU
TO TAUC VsWlLF W
PtOURES ARE ON1.
l V-i
"I met your wife on the street yester
day. She'd been shopping an'l was a lout
'all In.' "
"Yes, Rhe was so tired all last evening
she would hardly keep her mouth open."
Boston Transcript.
"Mercy!" exclaimed Mrs. Dlggs. "The
baby Is chewing on your pocket edition of
Eplctotus."
"Indeed," replied Professor Dlggs, with
a proud and happy look. "Let the child
alone. It Is seldom that a mere Infant
shows such a pronounced taste for 'he
claunlce." Birmingham Age-Herald.
"Do you expect a landslide next fall?"
"No," replied Senator Sorghum. "Out
our way I'm afraid the only movement In
political real estate will be a little mud
slinging." Washington Star.
"I thought you were going to Improve
conditions," said the impatient man.
"I don't see what you've done, except to
ret it lot of oeou e k ck ni.
"A social condition." replied the re
former, "is like a strert. In order to im
prove It you always lit. ve to muss It up
for a little wnue. WHsninirion eiar.
FUTURE FICTION.
Arthur Guttermnn.
Alas! this Mexican Inbrogllo!
Alack! Ha aftermath en olio
Of wild, pimento -flavored stories
To celebrate our martial gloriew!
And', well-a-day! the lurid diction
Of coming hot tamale Action!
That proud hidalgo. Don Antonio
of Rancherla Allmonlo,
Shall have a daughter Senorlla
Doloree Inez no, Juanlta.
To them shall ride a young lieutenant
Beneath the hated Orliio peunant.
The proud hidalgo and his daughter
Shall grant the fellow food and water.
And yet, as far as that Is lawful,
Shall snub their guest oh, something
awful!
The young lieutpnunt, Rlnhard Hadley,
Shall love the dark Juanita madly.
Before his heart has burst asunder
Shall come a party bent on plunder
A gang of outlaws; and the bandit
Jose Tobasco shall command It.
Jose shall seize the senorlta
And bear her hlllward probreclta!
But, speeding swifter than a swallow.
Lieutenant Robert H. shall follow.
Concluding then a lively fracas
At Guadulpe or Zacatecas,
Lieutenant Bob shall spit the Oreaser
And leave him dead as Julius Ceasar;
When you shall have what you are
dreading,
An Invitation to a wedding.
Hermoao! rodeo mantilla
Sombrero Santa Rosa Villa;
Frljoles. matador Gonzago
Caramba poncho Santiago!
7
til
Jil
Your Opportunity
at this
August Clearance Sale
Save 20 to 50 in
Home Furnishings
at the Central
Many excellent values in Furniture, Draperies, Rugs and Stoves
yet remain on our floors at Clearance Sale Prices. We must have
the space these pieces occupy for heavy factory shipments that are
arriving daily, and you can select from these close-out patterns just
what you will require for the convenience and beauty of your home
or an entire home outfit and we will arrange delivery later.
' Remember, our prices here are always low on account of our
. location, out of the high rent district, and low operating expense,
together with enormous purchasing power; and during this Clearance
Sale you have the opportunity to save an additional 20 to 60.
Our guarantee of satisfaction on every item sold during this
sale and, as usual, you make your own terms.
0
IV
Public Opinion Indorses
this family remedy by making its sale larger than that
of any other medicine in the world. The experience of
generations has proved its great value in the treatment
of indigestion, biliousness, headache and constipation.
BgiCalAOTS PILLS
relieve these trouble end prevent them from becoming serious ills by
promptly clearing wastes and poisons out of the digestive system.
They strengthen the stomach, stimulate the liver and regulate the
bowel. Mild and harmless. A proven family remedy, unequalled
For Digestive Troubles
Laraa Sala ai Aair MadJaaaa la tha Warai.
Sale anajarkata. h Wxaa, 10a, tta.
MOTOR
RESTAURANTS
Free With LUXUS Coupons
Also Thermos Bottles,
Jan and Lunch Kits
Phone Tyler 420, or drop us a
postal and we will send you
illustrated circulars.
Fred Krug Brewing Co.
Premium Dept.
OMAHA, NEBRASKA
