THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: AUGUST 6, 1916.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
' fOWPED BY EDWAltD H03EWATMI
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
THK BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY, FBOPKIETOB.
tMmd at Omaha poitoffUsa aa eeeond-elaae matter.
Br Mafl
ear 7W'
.77.fs.ss
TERM OF SUBSCRIPTION
' . ...... Br Carrier s
' ' "" montb .
naily and Bandar. .. ...SSe....
Dailr vita out Bandar.. . 46e..,.
Evening and Bandar. ...4Se....
Evening vtthout cwoday SSe....
Simile a ... . . e
Daily and Bandar Baa, tan raara m advene, SIS. OS.
Snc notice of cnanf of addraaa or trreyalarity da
liTcrr ta Omaha Baa, Ctraalatloa Deportment,
t.tt
4.SS
.
REMITTANCE.
Emit bp draft, axaraaa or postal ordar. Onlr t-emt stamp
taken la payment of amail eceonnta. Poraonal cbeeke,
except oa Omaha and aaatarn exchange, not aeeapted.
offices. ,
Omaha Tha Baa Bnlldlng.
South Omaha Mil N street "
Council Bluff il4 North Mala atnat
Lincoln (2 LKtle Building.
Chicago SIS People Oaa Betiding.
Now York Boom SSI. Fifth aroma,
St. Loaia IIS Now Banh of Commerce.
Waahhwtoa 711 Foartoanth street, N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Addraaa eomnmlcatloiia relating to sown atuf adHorlal
matter ta Omaha Boa, Editorial Department.
JULY CIRCULATION.
57,569 DailySunday 52,382
Dwliht WUIIama, elrenlatleei manaanir of The Boa
Pnbllahing eompanr. boinc dutr aworn, aara that tha
verege elreulation for tha month of Jaly, ISIS, waa
7,S dailr and 12,112 Bundar.
DWIGHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Bubeerlbed In mr praaonaa and aworn to bator, ma
thla Id dap of August, llll.
RoBEBT RUNTEB, Natarr Fublla.
lubocribors leavfa tko city temporarily ;
aerolsl War Tha Boo mailed" to them. Ai
dree will ba shaafaol a oflesi at roquoateol.
1 "
That tociety for the prevention of unnecessary
noiiet mutt have succumbed to the heit, ;
; What Omaha and Council Bluffs really want ii
a chance to toll the bell for a toll-leu bridge.
If Denmark doesn't ratify the sale of the
island to Uncle Sam, it will not be because of the
price.
Looki at if $25,000,000 might be the standard
price for .islands on the international bargain
counter. . .' .
:' Anyone with a genuine ancient almanack will
please send it post haste to the Nebraska Editorial
Minstrel troupe en route,
i Don't envy the wheat pit bulls and bears. The
easy money they pull down is Just as easily lost
only they don't brag so loudly about their
.losses.,!:' : .Is ..'
Cabinet members too busy , to read Mr,
Hughes' speech now may file it away for a short
- time. They'll have plenty of time to read it after
March 4, next , ,
Yes, but if a "watchful waiting" policy works
not better to prevent a general railroad strike
than it did to prevent turbulence and murder In
Mexico, it will hardly commend itself.
- The redoubteable Heney essays to deliver the
California bull moose to the democrats. Had
Heney not been so badly beaten in his race for
United States senator he would be singing a dif
ferent tune. ' - .i
Democrats who harbored hopes that Josephus
would catch the virus from the Bryan and Garri
son resignations are still nursing their disappoint
ment Nothing remain for them but to resign
to a realisation that Josephus wilt not resign, ;,
Omaha Is patting up a united front In Its
fight for the location of one of the federal land
bank. Everybody is pulling together with
- determination. Commercial Club Bulletin.
Oh, not everybody I You mean everybody but
our United States senator who has refused to
frost for Omaha, although it is his home
Comment on Bee Comment
York Republican: "Migratory workers" Is
good. That is what the Omaha Bee designate
the army of tramps that have been bred by the
present democratic administration. Migratory
workers, indeed) If they find a man on the freight
train that wants to work they rob him and throw
him under the car wheels. That is the hardest
job they undertake. .' . . -
Omaha Examiner: That ts certainly an ad
mirable cartoon by Powell in The Bee represent
ing the departure of the Deutschland underneath
the British watchers. The British Lion is shown
floating in the water with hia head toward the
shore and with the British flag flying from the
masthead of his erected tail. Beneath him, deep
in the water, is the Deutschlsnd in the shape of
a dachshund headed for Germany, the German
flag ornamenting' its tail. An original idea well
executed. This Is one of the best cartoons of the
teSSOn.-' .Vv .. ;rr; .
Kearney Hub: The Omaha Bee considers the
organization of a State Highway commission the
first indispensible step Nebraska must take to be
come eligible for the state's share of the federal
roads fund. While this is doubtless true the
alternative is not especially cheerful i. e.,
the creation of another commission or bu
reau to be a law unto itself and an appendage of
' state government neither useful nor ornamental
Nebraska has had bad luck with its commissions
and bureaus in the past and while it can not very
well dispense with them, the people are un
doubtedly in s critical mood regarding the
creation of any new ones.
Nebraska City Press: The Omaha Bee, com
menting on the number of national banks that
have become state institutions, think the change
is not so much due to the fact that state banks
are protected by the guarantee of deposit laws as
., to the fact that the present administration has
made it so difficulty for a national bank to conduct
its business without bowing to the demands of a
lot of fool laws and regulations. Be that as It
may, we know that manv erstwhile e-ood-nattireH
bankers in this part of this dearly-detoved com-
monweaitn nave become suddenly morose and
peeved and have oueer (for a banker) things to
say about the national banking department Isn't
u puisioie mat insieaa oi neiping legitimate busi
ness s lot of the rules that hedge an enterprise
m are of inestimable harm? Reform for ttnlitir1
sake is not only a disappointment it is a mean dis
advantage...: . :
Valentine Republican: The Omaha Bee thinks
is something wrong with the rale which pro
vide that county shall have representation in
the stats convention according to the number of
votes it cast for the republican ticket in the last
national election. ; Hamilton county is thus en
titled this year to nine delegate, while Cherry
coity, with a considerably smaller population
will hare fourteen. Hamilton cointy I said nor
maily to cast large epublicaa vote, but four
rear ago went astray, abandoned the old party
Kid had a case of builaraoose hysterics. A very
easy and simple way in which to secure the
ptf :t representation at the convention is for re
aa to vote th republican ticket whenever
if d man is running a was th case four year
3.1. ad quit playing tail to the democratic kite
t the guias of populism, bull moosism, or
never it may be called. Then there will be no
5r trouoics. .,; , - . ; .
V ' ' '
What of the Nebraska Campaign?
Nebraska belongs in the republican column
and will be placed there this'year if th campaign
in this state is waged along republican lines.
: The voters in Nebraska, as in all the other
states, that went democratic solely because of a
divided opposition, fully realize their mistake and
are ready to turn to the republican party for -'
lief from democratic incompetency, duplicity and
extravagance. A republican campaign appealing
for support for a republican ticket running on the
republican platform and not made "pig tail" to
any side issue wilt be a sure winner.
It must be frsnkly sdmitted that the Bareback
which his brought about the resignation of State
Chairman McNish and the necessity of installing
a new campaign manager at this stage of the pro
ceedings is unfortunate, but the damage is not
irreparable nor is there any use crying over spilled
milk. If the incident shall serve to emphasize
the need of a campaign along strictly republican
lines, with as few entanglement with the pro
hibition side-Issue a is possible, it wilt prove
beneficial rather than harmful for the "wet" and
the "dry" may be depended upon to fight out
their own battle and should be made to do it in
dependent of the party contest
The democrats will naturally try to find com
fort in every republican controversy. It isiheir
play to make a mountain out of every republican
mole hill, but they have their own family troubles
which are of much more serious nature. Let Ne
braska republicans stand shoulder to shoulder and
buckle down to business and they wilt again come
into their own.
Broadening th FUld of th National Bank.
Amendments to the federal reserve banking
law, just passed by the senate, will . provide
means whereby the banks of the United States
may engage in foreign business. If these amend
ment become law they will remove one of the
greatest obstacles to the successful entrance of
the United States into the world's commerce.
One of the serious weaknesses of our situation
has been the lack of facilities to properly finance
commercial operations abroad. Machinery for
carrying on ordinary exchange with the capitals
of the world has been useful in its line, but when
It came to dealing with the smaller countries, or
With Interior firms, the business had to be ctr
rled on through London, Paris or Berlin. Es
pecially was this true of South America, where
the business was almost exclusively held by
England and Germany, because the banks there
were English or German institutions. The Brit
ish blacklist is made effective because credit on
commercial transactions must be had through
British-owned banks. The disadvantage of this
to th United States need not be argued.
American financier understand the situation
and are willing to enter the field. Already pro
posals have been mad for the setting up of a
great bank at Buenos Ayres through which busi
ness may be done with the South American
countries east of the Andes, and a similar insti
tution for th Pacific coast may be expected to
come. Under the permission to be granted by
congress it will be possible for the bankers of
the United States . to establish connections
throughout the world that will remove a great
disability from our commerce,
A greater share of the world' business for
the United States ought to be one result of the
war, and this assistance to the banks will ma
terially contribute to bringing this about.
A Clinchsr Indictment
In the current issue of the Atlantic Monthly
Is an artliele contributed by Meredith Nicholson
on "The Second-Rsje Man in Politics" to which
we have: already referred and which 1 full of good
tnings one of wmcb one should not be allowed
to pass unnoticed particularly In view of the use
that has been made of Mr. Nicholson' name as
endorser for President Wilson. The author Is try
ing to explain why the "second-rate men" predomi
nate in congress, especially in the lower house
that may be called the most typical of our insti
tution by citing example :
"Mr. Hay of Virginia, chairman of the com
mittee on military affairs, not only yielded re
luctantly to the public pressure for prepared
ness, but established his unfitness to hold any
office by tacking on the army bill a 'joker'
designed to create a place for a personal friend."
This must hve been written before President
Wilson, presumably Mr. Nicholson's ideal in poli
tics, selected Mr. Hay for a life tenure appoint
ment to the court of claim in recognition of "hi
unfitness to hold any office." Mr. Hay's direction
of legislation affecting military affairs has been a
scandal which the president has merely empha
sised and accepted responsibility for by his action.
This la a case of honoring not the "second-rate
man," to use the language of Mr, Nicholson, but
of th totally unfit man and of honoring him in
such a way a must call in question the fitness of
the president who puts a premium on unfitness.
Income, Dividend and Management
On behalf of the railroad a statement is pub
lished that their dividend for 1915 (how a de
cline, the rat being but 3.8 per cent on 60.45 per
cent of all dock issued. The appearance of this
statement at this time It significant but it de
serves a little explanation. Dividend of 1915
were largely based on earnings during 1914, which
held several lean months for the railroads. How
ever, the situation ha been bettered in a very
large degree, for ninety-three of the large raiU
road of the United States report an increase in
net revenues for the month of June this year of
$190,000,000 a compared with the same month of
1915. Seventy-two railroads rennrr in detail
their earnings and expenses for the month of May,
ms, to tn Kailway Age Gazette, and only four
show a loss. ' These four have a combined mileage
of 1,616, and include the Kansas City & Orient
and the Colorado Midland, the other two being
obscure lines in the east Eigrjt report a de
crease in net Income as compared with last year,
the chief among these being th Baltimore &
Ohio. ; ,
- Sine the lean day of 1914 th railroads have
been panted a general Increase in rates, and many
special increase. In addition many effective
economic in operation have been reported, and
unless the 1916 dividend rate make a much bet
ter showing than did the 1915, the manager of
th great rati systems of the United States will
have a busy time explaining to the public whera
th additional revenue went u-"t4;
Consider also child labor; according to the
democrat it belong to stats regulation, along
with woman suffrage and th railroad. This
Is mad lear by the senator from Georgia,
where th state legislature has refused year after
year even to consider a effective child, labor
taw, because the cotton barons do not want it '
rrnnAV
Thought Nugget for the Day.
No man for any considerable period can wear
one face to himself and another to the multitude
without finally getting bewildered as to which
may be true. Nathaniel Hawthorne. ,
On Year Ago Today in the War.
New allied army landed on Gallipoli peninsula.
Germans claimed victory on Narew river north
of Warsaw.
Petrograd reported German forces driven back
near Riga.
Russians held fast to east bank of Vistula and
bombarded Warsaw positions.
With help of gas clouds Germans took one of
Kovno forts, but Russians recovered it.
This Day in Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
The 100-pound turtle of Ed Maurer has been
purchased by Albright and will be served as turtle
soup as part of a free lunch for his great action
sale of 400 lots in Albright addition to South
Omaha, which takes place August 16 and 17. Free
trains leave at 10 o'clock a. m. over the Union Pa
cific railway to convey visitors there and back.
John Zeller haa just received a well-earned
diploma which certifies that he is the champion
single live bird shot of America. John is very
proud of his diploma and will entertain a number
of his friends to celebrate this important event
in his sporting career.
The ladies of the Third Congregational church
gave an August social at the home of Mrs. Dr.
Bryant, 2005 Sherman avenue.
E. Smith, a genial and gentlemanly conductor
on the Union Pacific, has left for Sidney, la.,
where he will be married to Miss Ida I. Mooman
of that city.
John D. Creighton, with his wife and three
daughters, Clara, Katie and Emma, have left
for a trip to Salt Lake.
- The canning factory has started up, and on
the opening day 6,600 cans of tomatoes were put
up. The capacity of the factory is such that every
day 12,000 cans of corn and 12,000 cans of to
matoes can be put up easily.
Today in History.
1721 New England Courant started in Boston,
with James Franklin, brother of Benjamin Frank
lin, as editor.
1790 William Blount was appointed first gov
ernor of the territory southwest of the Ohio river
the Southwestern territory.
1807 Robert Fulton's steamboat the "Cler
mont," made its first trip from New York to Al
bany, at an average speed of five miles an hour.
1815 Napoleon was transferred from the
"Bellerophon" to the "Northumberland," prepara
tory to being sent to St Helena.
1830 Duke of Orleans accepted the crown of.
France as Louis Philippe I.
1858 Ottawa, formerly Bytown, named as
capital of the Dominion of Canada.
1866 The Freedmen's Aid society of the
Methodist Episcopal church was organized at
Cincinnati.
1870 State of siege proclaimed at Paris after
the defeat of MacMahon at Woerth.
. 1874 One thousandth anniversary of the col
onization of Iceland was celebrated at Rikiavik.
1889 Review of 25,000 British troop at Aider
shot before the German emperor. ,
Thl I th Day W Celebrate. ,
, Harry A. Tukey, real estate man, was born
August 7, 1877, at Mankato, Minn. He waa edu
cated in the Omaha public schools and the Uni
versity of Nebraska, and is one of Omaha's hust
ling real estate men.
James N. Fitzgerald is celebrating his forty
second birthday today. He was born in Chicago,
educated at Creighton university and the Univer
sity of Michigan, and ha been practicing law in
Omaha since 1906.
Dwight H. Beck was born August 7, 1877, at
York, Neb. He was manager of the Herzog
Tailoring company for five years and later with
Maloney, McElvin & Beck and in the tailoring
business for himself since 1909. 1
Dr. J. B. Fickes, the dentist, is just 39 years
old.. He first saw light of day in Orrstown, Pa.
W. A., (Pa) Rourice, who fathers the Omaha
base ball team, was born in Columbus, O., in 1864,
and is, therefore, celebrating his fifty-second
birthday: and he says he can still play ball.
W. H. Yohe, president of the Updike Milling
company, 46 years old today, comes from Allen
town, Pa.
Bitlie Burke, one of the most popular actresses
Of the American stage, born in Washington, D. C,
thirty-one years ago today. i
Miss Ellen Fits Pendleton, president of Wel
lesley college, born at Westerly, R. I4 fifty-two
years ago today.
Stanley J. Weyman, celebrated English novel
ist, born in Shropshire, England, sixty-one years
ago today.
Baron Gustav Krupp von Bohten and Halbach,
husband of Bertha Krupp and head of the great
Krupp Gun works, born at The Hague, forty-six
years ago today.
Alfred Sutro, author of "The Walls of Jericho"
and other successful plays, born' in London, fifty
three years ago today.
Brigadier General Richard L. Hoxie, U. S. A.,
retired, born in New York, seventy-two years ago
today. ;.
Charles R. Crane, retired millionaire manu
facturer, born in Chicago, fifty-eight years ago
today. . - . . : - t '
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
The International Typographical union begins
its annual convention today at Baltimore.
: Fremont Neb., ia to have a farm tractor show
during the four days beginning today.
- Oklahoma City is to be the meeting place to
day of the annual convention of the International
Sheriffs' association.
Because of the increased cost of paper the
Milwaukee Free Press will today advance its price
from 1 to 2 cents a copy for street sales.
The annual convention of the United Master
Butchers of America will meet in Omaha today
and continue in session until Thursday.
The National Association of Food, Dairy and
Drug Officials is to meet at Detroit today for its
annual convention.
Exercises are to be held at Green Bay, Wis.,
today in observance of the 100th anniversary of
the first nosing of the United States flag in the
Northwest territory, . v -
The American Guild of Piano Tuners, with a
membership extending throughout the United
States and Canada, will meet in Detroit today for
it annual convention.
One thousand delegates are "expected in Cleve
land today for the opening of the annual conven
tion of the American Poultry association.
"Ten-Cent Bread and Why" ia to be the lead
ing subject of discussion at the annual convention
of the National Association of Master Bakers,
opening today at Salt Lake.
The Readville race track property near Boston,
famous as the scene of many grand circuit meet
tnsjsin th past, ia to be sold at public auction
Story-ett of th Day. , .
Some thing mutt be taken this way they are
meant or there it apt to be trouble. A Baltimore
party motoring on Sunday were astonished when
passing a prominent institution for tha insane to
ae over the main entrance the hospitable, though
lomewhat suggestive. Inscription: "Elks, Wel
come." However, a quick-witted native explained
to a disgruntled Elk that it merely waa meant to
convey: "We are just crazy about you." Balti
more American, v
Ueeete Only for Backloea Drivers.
Omaha. Aug. t. To the Editor of The
Bee i In rour bane of August 4, mention
la made of complaint to the police depart
ment bp a woman who retuaed to ie her
name, regarding an alleged nneafe condition
in the construction of Carter boulevard ap
proach to Florence Boulevard between Six
teenth and Nineteenth atreata.
Anp atreet In tha eitr of Omaha, or anr
other eitr, ia nneafe to tha pereon who
drive reekleaalp without regard to the other
fellow. i
The curvet on the boulevard drive In juai
tlon are not aharp and the roadway ia auf
Scientlr wide to enable autemobilea to paaa
each other without anr Interference. The
eurvea In each eaie are elevated ao as to
prevent anr eliding over the embankment, A
driver who ia ao reekleea in his driving aa
to run the ehaneae of rolling down the em
bankment! on thli drive, la luit aa likely to
have hi hraina beaten out la colliding with
nnr atone walla that might be eonotraeted
en the embankment aide of thla drive. '
. JOHN A. BRUCE, Citr Engineer.
Point Felltka.
Omaha, An. S. To the Editor of The
Bee: Protectionist ragardleaa of former
political alliance have now united and neat
November will caat a protective ballot and
that will be for eandidatea of the reunited
republican party whoae member all believe
In protection for all our peopla and our in
duatrlea. For th flrat time in three years I am
now an out and out optlmiat for what the
future will bring forth, for I now feel and
believe that at the November election the
protection element will win and control eon
greie, and the executive after March 4, 1S1T,
and coon thereafter tha preaent tariff will be
replaced by a atrong protective tariff on
articles our people ean yvovhiee, and labor
Immigration will be restricted. About 1,
000,00 male labor immigrant are now
among n end all their earning except from
S to 10 cent per day are cent abroad to
support their, famille. These million will
remain (tha war in Europe to no Inducement
for them to return) and will welcome stop
ping of labor immigration which will atop
further overproduction of labor and advance
all low wage which wm permit them to
aeind for their families as aeon aa peace is
declared and ehipe provided to bring the
familiea to our United State of America.
I believe In upholding any administration
In preperlng against Invasion from a for
eign foe and to quell unlawful disturbance
among our people, but believe the people
should eritlclie any administration for vn
Justinable acta and not smooth them over
aa many are now doing in praising the!
president for not Invading Mexico when he
ealled out the navy to bombard Vera Cm
and then celled General Funston to capture
with our army Vera Crus and the adjacent
territory under the gun of our battle htp
and If thot waa not Invasion then our gov
ernment did not invade Mexico during the
Mexican war.. Hundreds of our brave sol
diers were killed and wounded on this in
vasion and aeveral thousand Mexican, Gen
eral Pershing and other were ordered to
enter the interior of Mexico with our army.
After invading Mexico at Vera Cms thl
raised the ire of all Mexicans and they
favored that all American in Mexico should
be robbed of all their property and risk their
live by remaining. Our government th
last three year has not been honestly neu
tral to any nation engaged in the greatest
war of all time and the moat inhuman by
all combatant. To be honestly neutral in
time of war among foreign nation, our
government ohould not permit any foodstuff,
arms, ammunition or any article of neeeealty
to continue and extend war to go to on,
batanta engaged In war Or to countries will,
ing to furnish combatant, for our govern
ment should let the nation engaged in war
fight their battle on their own resources.
H. N. JEWETT.
SHOTS AT THE PULPIT. '
Mlnneapolla Journal: A Texae preacher
write to the Houston Peat that ateallng a
watermelon ia a sin. Great ethical changes
have been making their way slowly bat
ateadiiy m Texae aver cine the civil war.
Washington Post! Folka who complain
because their pastors leave their flock for
th seashore every summer probably are un
aware of the opportunities lor a pastor at
the leaehora. .
Chicago Poatl A Cleveland pastor aaya
that Darwin Is responsible for th big war.
Well, he' safe: the dead can't come beck.
Milwaukee Sentinel "It la strange that
Billy Sunday refer to every town ha visits
aa a "hell hole." Exchange. Not at all.
That ia hi "lino of good." Th Strang
thing I that he can make H pay like the
ugar trust, while many a worthy clergyman
of real piety and learning preaches the gospel
la decent English to half-empty pew. Wall,
well, another eaae of supply and demand.
Chicago Poatl The village of Pleasant
Plain, O., gave a aplendid example of prac
tical ehoreh anion the other day when th
Methodist. Baptists. Lutheran and Pree
bytorjana. all of whom, had been trying to
aupport separata church, got together and
organised one congregation. - That moan
concentration of effort and finance, the
elimination of sectarian rivalries and friction,
better equipment, better preaching and big
ger reault. What the Chrlatiane of Plea,
ant Plain have done taight be don with ad
vantage ia thouaanda of town and village
throughout th country.
EDITORIAL 8NAPSHOTS.
Indiojutpolla News: Conlder, too, th
feeling, at aeh a time as thla, of too
polar bear that have a Job la a eireu.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: Some of th soldiers
on the border an learning that a little mora
preparedn' would hav don ao harm. .
- Atlanta Constitution! A to th "hard
row to ho" on the border. General Funtoa'
observation la that "that" the Intention of
It- .. .-..: -'
Baltimore Amerleant Jsmea Whlteomb
Biley left all estate of 1200,000, o then la
money after all In writing poetry. But not
all whs try It writ it.
Cleveland Plain Dealer! Japan u about to
build four aupor-droBdnangbta. At the earn
time, th ahamplon Japan see tennis nlayan
have Juet bean defeated.
Boston Transcript! Optimism Is what
make Kansas farmer send their buxom
daughtan east for the summer and thn
expect to recruit an army of oollg.boy
farm hand In th Mat, .
Waahlngton Start Flat foot may keep
men out of the militia, bat in the game of
polities they an not coented aa a aeriooa
defect.
Kane City Journal! It Is true, aa Visa
President Manhall remarked, that th
Hughe speech of aeoeptanee "had all the
length and ton of a dissenting opinion.1'
But he emitted to add that th diaaenting
opinion thua expressed I that of th Amori.
ean people. ,' -
WHO CARES?
J. M. Lewi In Houston Poet. '
'. When tables hav grown up,
Orown aweet and taH, .
And never eeampar glad
Along the ball.
And never rush to yott
Olad aa can be.
With little arm held a
To climb your knee, '
Or squabble to be flrat
Upon your feet . .
To go for a long ride. '
And won't stay put
Not aaywhen at ail
When they've gnwn tall
, Tou'n getting on In yaara,
T Old man, that' aU.
- Ton'n getting oa In year:
. Yoar youth la gone,. :
When the hide sit with yea
Oat on the lawn '
And you do not can t ran
Or cere t play.
Or enanb tha poena tree ; " J
They loved to ran and play ,
And hide and clime, '
And lido your foot, as teaeo
Ton all th time:
Tou'n gotuag old, old avaa.
When yon an at;
Bat Inereoeed lev makes as '
for all of that.
) HITS OF THE HUMORISTS.
"An your children much of a help and
a comfort T"
"Tea, indeed. I can always depend oa
them to tell me where the best moving
picture an to be found." Waahlngton
Star.
Th Marketer Ann't you wasting a good
deal of that ateak in trimming It T
Tha Butcher No, ma'am i Z weighed It
tint. Toledo Blade.
Manager of Bus Company And so yon
want to leave?
Conduetontte Not If you will put me on
service 17. I'm tired of being aaked if I'm
4SI London Opinion.
' "Why," aaka a Missouri papar, "doe Mler
aourl tand at the head in nlelng muleaT"
"Bceauae," said another paper, "that la
the only safe place to stand." Christian
RagUter. ,
Flrat Stoker weary) I'd like to find th
merchant 'oo invented boiler.
Second Stoker (alio weary) Bollen be
blowedl I'm lookln' for the blighter 'oo
found out that coal would burn. Ijondon
Punch.
Daddy Jeannette, If I allow young Simp
eon to become my eon-ln-lew, do you aup
poee he will be willing to work and support
youT
Jeannette Oh, dad, how ean he when
he has promised to do nothing but think of
me all the time? Puckv .
"Objects aimed at are amashed with re
markable pncislon. For example, wa have
Juet fired four shells at a brid mor
than fourteen mllea away. Four tlmee the
aviation officer who wa watching when
our 'htpment' arrived slnled u by wlre
eM the imp word, 'Bridge.' "New Tor
Tlmee. ,
Willie I wa at Bump'a trial today.
Olllle Bump arrested) Tell me tha ao-
cuatlon. ' .
Willi H wa accused of what do
you call It where a fellow lie for money?
Olllle Politic, diplomacy, or war-oorree-pondlng?
Life. '
Husbands I wonder why all the 'mlssrs
we read about'are old bachelors?
Wife Oh. married miser are aa common
they are not worth mentioning. Indlan
apolla Bur. .
Mr. .Exe Ton alway have auch won
derful euccess in getting people to com
to your parties.
Mrs. Wye Tea, I alwaya tell the men that
It's not to be a dress-up affair, and th
women that It la. Boston Tranaorlpt.
In a certain home recently visited by
the stork thr I a child of Inquiring mind.
When he flrat saw th new arrival ha ex
claimed: .....
"It bam't any teethl It hasn't any hair!"
Thn. observing that hi criticism had no
effect upon the family, he added In dlgut.
"Somebody ha done ua! It'a an old
baby I" New Tork Time.
"t forgot myself and spoke angrily . to
my wife," remarked Mr. Meokton.
"Did an roeent It?"
"For a moment. But Henrietta la a
fair-minded woman. After he thought It
over she shook hand with me and con
gratulated me on my bravery." Kanaaa
City Bur.
1 ' IP
: Hifp
n
1j
1
Pa
Ii
dark iVurr Jaduan Boaltvard
The Hotel Success
of Chicago
VOUR busy day in Chicago ,
can best be managed from
the New Kaiserhof.
The hotel's excellent service,
its convenience for the quick
transaction of business, its
proximity to theatres, shops
and public buildings make iV
the ideal headquarters for
xowded day. (
450 Rooms $1.50 up
With Bath $2.00 up
SI !, v s J Is y V J
XX
EasieraTours
SUhAHER1916
BasTON
PEnnSYLVAIJJA
.... - I
V I X
Philadelphia
Also to Resorts of
ATLANTIC COAST)
NEW ENGLAND
SES CANADA!
Direct Jtouie orMa
7ASHITJGT0fl
IhUSf " - -' Ben III
m W. H. KOWLUfD, Treeetr, Pasimesre1
nmu n 7111, .
Heat Wave
Broken
Remember that the recent heat-wave
was broken by cooling winds from
Minnesota's Lake Region
Average Summer temperature in Minnesota is
only 67 degrees. As you go North the thermome
ter goes down. ,
1 Land of Hiawatha
Let us suggest a point to go to, quote the round
trip fare and give an idea of what to do while there
and what it will cost
S. -a V , j
, P. F. BONORDEN, C p. & T. A.
...-:. 1322 Faraasa St Onus.
Phsa Doofla 260.
