Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, August 04, 1916, Page 4, Image 4

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    THE BEE: OMAHA, FRIDAY, AUGUST 4, 1916.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATEK
VICTOR EOSEWATER, EDITOR
'! THK BEE HJBL1SHINO COMPANY. PROPRIETOR.
Eatand it Omaha poatofftaa aa aaeond-elaaa mattar.
i,
VI
!
I
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
By Carrier
pr month
Dmilf and Sunday
Dallr without Sunday 15 ""
Evening and Sunday
Cental without Sunday 26c...
Sunday Bat only 20c.
By Mall
par yaar.
I09
4.00
e.0
4.00
t.0
i a d kvu wm in advenee. 110.00.
Sand notice change 'of addreaa or Irrwularlty in da.
Bary to Omaha Bee. Circulation Department.
REMITTANCE,
emit by draft, expreca or poital order. Only J-eent atempa
Uken In payment of email accounte. Peraonal cneeaa,
ueeat on Omaha and eaatern erenanae, not accepted.
OFFICES.
' Omaha The Bee Building-.
South Omaha 118 N atreet.
Council Bluffa 14 North Main atreet.
Lincoln fit Little Building.
Chiaaio 111 People'e Cai Building.
New York Room 101. 28 Fifth annua.
BL Louie 11 New Bank of Commerce.
Weaaingtoa 721 Fourteenth atreet, N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE.
AdMreee eommunleatlone relating to newa and editorial
matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department.
JULY CIRCULATION.
57,569 Daily Sunday 52,382
Dwtfht Wnilama, circulation manager of The Bee
PaMlaaias aompany, being duly aworn. ear, that the
average circulation for the month of July, 1111, waa
17X1 daily and 82.182 Sunday.
DWIOHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Buueerihed la my preeenea and ewern to beforj ma
thia Id day a Augu.t, 1111.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public.
Subeeribor taring lb illy tamporarilT
alaraM hav Th Baa mailed U them. Ad
drag will ho gluaieel aa eftam a repeated.
. Daily undwiehei of rain and lunshine are
'i reyal (are for King Corn I
t! '
Mr. Hughes certainly gave the democratl
- something stirring to talk about
These art dog days, which may account for
the ease with which the dachshund evaded the
lion. .
f Omaha is neither the hottest nor the dryest
place on the map, which fact may console you
i some. ' . .'
f
Of course if Mr. Kughei had wanted to please
the democratl or to avoid their displeasure, he
would not have said it.
"t It would seem that all petitions for clemency
for Roger Casement were politely received and
promptly pigeon-holed.
On provision, of the Reavis honest container
J bill should require that the bottom of the box
;j be placed little further from the top.
; For some inexplicable reason, no one in either
Omaha or Council Bluffs hat proposed a tunnel
under the Missouri river Instead of a free bridge
over it
I
' Lincoln has the center of the stage with a
voluntary midsummer reduction of 10 per cent in
the price of ice served consumers there. How
about M -
y Captain Koehig showed his good sense by
.' doing just opposite to the plans laid out for him
j by the experts. His next stopping place will
:t very likely be Bremen.
President Wilson lets it be known that he has
not changed his position on votes for women or,
'! rather, that he has not changed it since the last
change, about a year ago. ,
1 What is the urgent need for more 'men on the
2 border, that the army reserves are being called
out? Does our great and good friend Carransa
require more of an object lesson than he has re-
icelvedr . ,
, Senator Borah promisei to "pi up" the sen.
! rate's program by not observing the agreement
' reached by the democrats in caucus. This la not
j very pretty, hut what can democrats expect of a
j republican insurgent f '
S The print paper-makers fay they were com'
' pelted to double prices in order to meet an in
: creased demand) if that rule were applied all the
i way down the line, the newspaper publishers
4 would not mind so- much. -"
It will be remembered that the World-Herald
i opposed the nationalizing of the parcel post pre
i viously handled go-ai-you-pleaie by the express
j companies just as itrenuously as it now opposes
i nationalizing the regulation of other railroad
' traffic.",.. . ..J..
, The Nebraska democratic platform proposes
': to make educational offices elective by the lame
I nonpartisan ballot scheme as the judicial offices.
But why choose state and county superintendents
, at all by popular vote? Why ahoutd not these ad
? ministrative positions be made appointive the
i same as the city superintendents, at the same time
conforming to the short ballot movement
We Approve
Brooklyn Timaa
Just Where They Are Standing.
No one with ordinary intelligence should have
any difficulty in ascertaining where candidates on
the republican ticket are standing on the question
of railroad regulation and control. The republican
position is denned in the party platforms, national
and state, and these platforms are entirely con
sistent and harmonious. The declaration of the
republican national convention is as follows:
. Interstate and intrastate transportation have
become so interwoven that the attempt to apply
two, and often several, sets of laws to its regu
lation has produced conflicts of authority, em
barrassment in operation and inconvenience
and expense to the public. The entire trans
portation system of the country has become
essentially national. We, therefore, favor such
action by legislation, or, if necessary, through
an amendment to the constitution of the United
States, as will result in placing it under com
plete federal control.
ihe plattorm promulgated by the republican
state convention declares, "We endorse in its en-.
tirety the national platform of the republican
party adopted at Chicago," adding this statement
with reference to the state railway commission
and the progress marked by its work:
While recognizing the soundness of the ex
pression of the republican national platform on
the subject of regulation of transportation, we
call attention to the fact that federal control is
only contemplated therein, after such legisla
tion or amendment-to the. constitution of the
United States is enacted as may be necessary
for broadening the acooe and increasing the
efficiency of the Interstate Commerce commis
sion. We are proud of the work accomplished
by the Nebraska State Railway commission un
der an amendment to our constitution and laws
enacted by republican legislature!. We en
dorse the sentiment of bur candidate for presi
dent uttered while a member of the supreme
court of the United States, that in the absence
of federal action the states have a right to exer
cise authority over transportation within their
Doraera so ions; as they do not unnecessarily
interfere with interstate commerce.
If those interested will study and digest these
platform declarations rather than take democratic
versions of thenv twisted for partisan purposes
they will have no trouble in understanding what
is meant
Some one who has remembered the Dreyfus
case and Zola's "J'accuse" philippic has organized
a society oi democrats under the 'name of Ap
orovins Americana. The ilogan of the society
is "We approve!" We suppose their list of
approbations will include the following:
We approve the selection Of William Jennings
uryan as secretary oi state.
We approve his resit-nation.
We approve the stand of Mr. Wilson in oppo
sition to a national aetense program in ivi.
we approve nia aaaresses in lavor of a na'
tional defense orosram in 1916.
We approve his capture of Vera Cruz with the
object of enforcing a salute to the American flag.
We approve his withdrawal of our forces
from Vera Cruz with the American flag: unsaluied.
We approve his insistence that Huerta must
not be President of Mexico.
. W approve his recent announcement that.
mere must oe no interference with Mexico.
. We approve his support of Pancho Villai
We approve his pursuit of Pancho Villa.
We approve his notification of Germany that
submarine attacks on merchant ships must cease.
We approve his declaration during the sub
marine controversy that we are too proud to fight
approve nig snaxen nil.
Wt approve his admonitory finew.'
We aoorove him when be aHvanree mA mIun
he backs up, when he goes up and when he comes
down, vertically and horizontally and diagonally,
in straight lines and curved lines, in circles and
ptrn.li, elliptically and parabolically. Our appro
bation is flexible and adjustable, mobile and
double-join ted.
"Them's our sentiments,' and the backswooda
-teaman, " and if they don't suit Uiey kin be
frwaj, ,' , '. .....
Great Britain and Neutral Commerce.
Premier Asquith sayi the post bellum eco
nomic warfare planned by the Quadruple Entente
Allies is not to' be waged against neutrals. Just
why he should announce a policy so obvious is
not; clear, unless it be to reassure his countrymen
who are looking beyond the war, and in some
way see the possible effects of the boycott now
practiced under the enemy trading act. The pre
mier admits that the war has opened English
eyes to the extent of the economic penetration
by Germany in its effort to conquer the com
merce of the world. Seven years ago Winston
Churchill, speaking to the Lloyd-George budget,
called attention to the fact that Germany was far
better organised, industrially and socially, than
England, and urged his countrymen to emulate
and possibly overtake "our great and friendly
rival."
England has had one great advantage, that of
an immense accumulation of capital, invested in
foreign securities. This gave London absolute
control of the money market of the world, while
the extent of the British banking system practi
cally put the control of credit into the same
hands. Germany offset thii to tome extent by
using the national credit to tupport commercial
transactions. London, will .very likely be the
money market of the world after the war is over,
but credit; will be released to some extent by the
entrance of American banken into the foreign
field. This will narrow the field in which the
Allies may effectively operate under their pro
posed plan for restricting enemy commerce, but
will not prevent its application so far aa they can
make it effective. . l '
Premier Asquith'a explanation of the purpose
of the Allies is a bland acknowledgement that
the truth of Churchill's criticism Is now felt. But,
how will he square hia pacific purpoae with the
blacklist? And what will he do with neutrals,
who are also ambitious to develop Industrie! and
extend their commerce?
Thought Nugget for the Day.
Criticisms never hurt anybody. It talse tney
' U . .. un. ..... n ,1 n (T in TT1 3 n I V
(.ell I null jruu uiuee T ju ,v .... 'o
character and if true they show a man his weak
points ana forewarn mm against lanure. yvui.
E. Gladstone.
Hughes' Americanism.
The New York World and certain other demo
cratic papers take Mr. Hughes severely to task
because he doea not specifically denounce the so
called "hyphenates" in his speech of acceptance,
On this slim peg they hang high bones of win
ning support for Mr. Wilion, and the emphaiis
the opposition is grving it shows how desperately
they are driven for an issue.
To make their point, these partisan critics
have overlooked every public utterance of Mr.
Hughes since hii candidacy was broached. Hii
commencement talk at Washington, while he wai
yet unnominated and still a member of the su
preme bench, was an unqualified declaration of
Americanism, aound and patriotic In its every
syllable. In Jiia speech of acceptance, almost in
his opening sentence, he declared for "America
first, and American efficient." This epigrammatic
utterance was amplified as he proceeded, and deal
ing specifically with the objective raised by the
World and its coadjutors, he declared "Utterly
intolerable is the use of our loil for alien in
trigue." .
None who reads the ipeech of Mr. Hughei
dealing with the issues before the country, ap
proaching the topic with an open mind, can fail
to be impressed with its evidence of devotion to
the highest of patriotic standards.
Delay Proves Coitly Always.
The Missouri Pacific now comes with a plea
that to make the improvements required by the
city will cost 20 per cent more at preaent price!
than when they were ordered. Who is to blame
for that? The city acted well within its rights
in ordering the railroad company to construct
viaducta over unprotected grade crossings. This
waa met by the railroad with all sorts of objec
tions, requiring finally resort to the courts, al
though similar casea for a quarter of a century
had been invariably won by the city. Since the
final decision of the court the railroad company
has still delayed, 'haggling over details, and at
last coming forward with a substitute plan, put
ting off the aettlement from time to time. All
the while the cost of construction material was
advancing. The delay has already coat the Mis
souri Pacific considerable sum of money, and
may at any moment cost it much more, for the
danger of a dreadful accident at one of iti un
protected crossings is always present
Well, that surely it good one I The accu.
sation that The Bee has changed its tun com
ing from a democratic newspaper (misbranded
"Independent") that hai been on all sides of
nearly everything, and apeaks now aa the cham
pion, of a president with chameleon mind I
ITOHAV
One Year Ago Today in the War.
Germans made their final assault on Warsaw
outer ions.
fart of Ivangorod fortress captured py Ausiro-
Germans.
French repulsed German assaults in Argonne
region.
British reply to American protest against
blockade made public.
Oerman note on tne frye insisted sinning oi
ship was legal and accepted commission plan to
name damages.
Thia Day in Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
At a meeting of the joint committee of the
fair and exposition association for the purpose of
making arrangements for the forthcoming inter
state exposition the following were present:
Messrs. Lininger, H. T. Clarke, Garneau, Kich,
Kitchen, N. B. Falconer. I. A. Wakefield, I. W.
Miner, Max Meyer, Fred Grey.
"Der Deutsche Club von Omaha," an asso
ciation for the purpose of promoting social inter-
J OCX PCUTCHC Wftgf
course among the German residents of Omaha,
was organized and the following officera were
elected: C. B. Schmidt, president; J. P. Lund and
Bruno Tzschuck. vice presidents: Louis Kaapke
and George Heimrod, secretaries, and Max Meyer,
treasurer.
The board of appraisers, appointed to condemn
property for the new treignt depot oi tne union
Pacific, have reported condemnations of lots 2 and
3 in block 178, fronting north on Jackson between
Seventh and bighth. I his is known as tne oia
Davis nrooertv. on which waa the first mill ever
started in Nebraska. The present owner is John
H. Green.
I. A. Loveren has removed his real estate of
fice from 1504 Farnam to 113 North Sixteenth.
A. W. Cowan & Co.. auctioneers, have opened
a stock auction at the yards of E. Estabrook on
Tenth, between Davenport and Capitol avenue.
The Omaha Maennerchor has elected tne toi-
lowing officers for the ensuing year: J. Spoerl,
president; J. Fuchs, vice president; John Baumer,
aecretary and treasurer.
Today in History.
1814 Fort Erie was besieged by the British.
1830 The town of Chicago was surveyed and
platted.
1841 Congresi appropriated $50,000 for the
conitruction of Fort Wayne, near Detroit
1858 Opening of railway and docka at Cher
bourg in present of emperor and empress of the
French and Queen Victoria and prince consort
1866 Ihe Diet at Augsburg recognized tne
dissolution of the Germanic confederation.
1870 Prussians defeated French at Weissen-
burg, in first serious engagement of the Franco
Prussian war.
1885 Funeral services in Westminster Abbey
for General U. S. Grant, attended by members of
the royal family.
1891 fwentv-htth annual national encamp
ment of the Grand -Army of the Republic opened
in Detroit.
1894 China declared war against Japan.
1903 Cardinal Sarto was elected pope, taking
the name of Pius X.
1908 Count Zeppelin s airship, after journey
ing from Lake Constance to Mayence, was de
stroyed by a hurricane.
This Is the Day We Celebrate.
The late Dr. S. K. Spalding was born sixty-
nine years ago today. He was a native of Penn
sylvania and a graduate in medicine from the col
lege of Physicians and Surgeons at Keokuk and
Bellevue Medical College, a union veteran and
also a member of the Omaha school board, health
commissioner and state health inspector.
.. t. Howell, insurance and coal, is lust 56
yeara old today. He was born in Canada and
first broke into politics as city councilman, being
elected several times to the state lenate.
Princess Mane Jose, who is sharing the exile
of her parents, the king and queen of the Belgians,
born in ttrussels sixteen years ago today.
Jesse W. Keno, inventor of the moving stair
way, born at Fort Leavenworth, Kan., fifty-five
years ago today.
narry Lauder, tne worid-tampus Scottish en
tertainer, born at Portobello. Scotland, forty-six
years ago today.
Kt. Kev. Daniel T. Huntington, Episcopal mis
sionary bishop of Nanking, China, born at Nor
wich, Conn., forty-eight years ago today.
Ebenezer J. Hill, representative in congress
of the Fourth Connecticut district, born at Red
ding, Conn., seventy-one years ago today.
2
mil
Suffragist CUlm Rifht to SmlW.
Omaha, Aug. . To the Editor of The
Bee: Let me thank jron for patting in that
picture of Mra. Jiggs along with Mr. Jiggs
and letting her have a "imile," too, for ihe
certainly had a amtle - coming for appearing
in the tame lime of the paper containing
the announcement of Mr. Hughei hi favor
of vote for women. We lott oar campaign
for the luftrage amendment in Nebraska, but
we have won, or will win, juit the nme,
became onr work in Nebraska and New
Jersey and other states, where we suffered
defeat, la what is bringing around the men
who will eventually give us the suffrage by
an amendment to the federal constitution.
So X say Mrs. Jiggs and all the women have
a right to smile. SUFFRAGIST.
Whert They All Are Now.
John Dick a Howe, manv vcars with the au&rter-
m aster' i office of the Department of the Missouri,
it in the Rovernment offices at the Presidio. San
frtneisco.
Dr. W. S. Slabaugh, well remembered in South
Omaha, it now Dracticinar in Los Ansrelet. Cal.
Until recently he had been practicing in one of the
tmaii towns near Lot Angeles, but has now
moved in.
Walter Phelps, formerly a prominent building
contractor in Omaha, now lives at Seattle, where
he is in business.
Will S. Rogers, son of Milton Rogers, one of
our Omaha pioneers and brother of Herbert M.
Rogers, is treasurer of the Scott Paper company
of Philadelphia. .
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
Today is the centennial anniversary of the
birth of the late Russell Sage.
The second anniversary of Great Britain's
declaration of war will be observed today
throughout the British empire.
The Congregational church of West Barns
table. Mass., today will begin a celebration of the
300th anniversary of its organization.
The general conference of Christian workers
will open at East Northfield, Mass., today and
continue in session until August 20.
The democratic state committee of New York
will meet in New York City today to decide upon
the date and place for holding the state platform
conference.
A monument is to be unveiled at Barnstable.
Mass., today in honor of the memory of Lemuel
Shaw, who served as chief justice of the Massa
chusetts sui;eme court 1830-1860.
Story-ettt of the Day.
A party of engineers were tracing a township
tint across some farm lands in Illinois. As chance
would have it. the line oassed directlv throutrh a
large barn having double doors on each side of it,
and they found they could continue their measure
ments through the barn by opening the doors and
thus avoiding the dreaded detour. The owner
watchd their progress with considerable inter
est, but made no comment until they had reached
tne urtner side ot tne Darn, when he asked:
Thet a railroad ye-all aurvein1 fer?"
"Certainly," replied the chief, with a humor
ous twinkle in his eve. '
The farmer meditated a bit as he closed the
barn doors behind them, when he remarked some
what aggressively: "I hain't got no objections
ter havin' er railroad on my farm, but I'll be
darned ef I'm going ter open and shet them doors
for yer train to go through r Youth t Compan
ion v r"' .: .. . - , ,.,;,....,...
Denies Charge and Impugn Motive.
Irvington, Neb., Aug. 8. To the Editor
of The Bee: I noticed an article in your
paper a few days ago signed by Frank B.
Hibbard and several other in relation to
court proceedings of one kind or another
now pending in which it Is claimed that X
am interested, and In which an attack was
made upon the character of the hotel op
erated by me at Irvington. In the first
place, the charges made openly and by in
ference that the hotel operated by me is
used for immoral purposes is absolutely
untrue and is known to be untrue by the
parties who made such charges.
I have a hotel license to operate thia ho
tel, and the hotel is conduced, I might say,
along very much better lines than probably
any hotel in the eity of Omaha. I have a
great number of friends in Omaha who know
that I and my wife are first-class cooks, and
I have made a specialty of serving a chicken
dinner, together with home-grown vegeta
bles and fruits, and have endeavored to in
duce my friends to patronise me. The sole
objection these people have is that my
frinds do come out to Irvington and that
sometimes automobile parties come out in
the late evening, and some automobile par
tie stop on early trips in the morning to
eat at my hotel. There never has been any
disturbance by any of my guests or myself.
Th only trouble that has ever been kicked
up has been brought about through the
malicious interference by my enemies with
my customers at points and place off of and
away from the hotel and the hotel property.
In regard to all these lawsuits it seems to
m the proper place to have these cases
tried is In the court room before the judge,
and It begins to look as- if these articles are
being published to influence the court when
it come to pass upon the matter. Such
conduct I consider entirely reprehensible,
and it seems to me that a good cause would
not require any such conduct upon the part
of the one urging it. A large number of
people live in and about Irvington and so far
a I know the only persons who have any
objection or complaint to make is this gang
of four or five, none of whom live anywhere
near th hotel, and a majority of whom do
not live near the village, but who have
assumed to themselves the right to regulate,
regardless of law, my business, as well as
constituting themselves th custodians for
the community.
GEORGE BRENNER, Suburban Hotel.
EDITORIAL SNAPSHOTS.
Washington Post: Seasonable maxim: "A
hit in time saves the nine."
Wall Street Journal: Driving of the
Allies is good, but the putting is yet to
come.
San Francisco Chronicle: Mexico is now
at peace with all her enemies save those at
home. l-
New lOreans States: So far, no substi
tute for gasoline has been discovered
cheaper than shoe leather.
Boston Transcript: The Italians seem to
be In possession once more of all the most
desirable telegraph offices.
Kansas City Star: Those waves which
Britannia rules don't extend as far as 60
feet below the surface, apparently.
Wall Street Jnurnal n ....ui.
evePT fortv-4lvs narann. I .V. !; l
States, which leaves ngti pedestrians for
For.
Boston Hrall Xf. .... h. i
lesson from thm mntttl .... . iii.i.
- "".. i ua wur uiiiiLiat,
but this country is learning a lot of them.
cwvannan news: villa must have been
alive all the time, for there-is nothing in
his behavior to indicate that he has been
born again.
Boston Transerint: Rut Mn t-h. TTniaui
States renounce all rights in Greenland
without the consent of old Doe Cook, th
gum -drop king?
Philadelphia Inquirer: That judge, who
SaVB that Mriaatriana h.u. ...t J-l...
, " hi i tan is uii
th streets with automobiles propounds a
ueory instead of stating a fact
new some sun: There is said to he dan
ger of an Iniuranea onta' a..!?. n
not som on indue the book-agents to act
upon meir maniioio grievances 7
New York Sun: The theary that the
DeutSChland is a nntt.ntis.1 t.
least as sound as Mr. Bryan's theory that
umvw m poienuai army of a million men.
New York Sun: Ought not the treasury
department at one to equip collectors of the
ports with diving suits 7
Boston Transcript: "Britain will win the
Sr In a few mnnthi " T1
- --i - "vj u-ucurjje.
This will be news to Russia and France.
wasnington Post: It having been definite
ly established that lnia..h.ir)n.
....iiiiB ytrejpuB
srerms. we r n th j
- - - - jeissuu (u our
oeroic politicians.
Waahintrtaii Pa.
, " e.viuEsi, warm a
writer, are taking un th vie tht
hav discarded. If tVi. Hni. . v
---a- . wy wcri
WJC' " nwer ao anyming very wicked.
wmwi u oraani-
aation has recently adopted the slogan '.'The
mui in Doiiziea " lev . i j
vsJops it own humor.
Boston Herald! Thl . s.
fifty German tn . i
nexlnff Beleium and Pnlansf ahn a.
wvh oi eonnaence in tn Allies.
Washington Star Th Mm,Kii... i
nation la dnintr ..., -..iki. . . "
th progressives feel th parable of the
prrcirau on nas lis modern application.
New York Sun: Fiv Virginians who
jainaa uia mi litis nhii. - i
wr called out, now want to b discharged.
" "j bigs i unci aam is tn best kind
uhm v ooiige.
I of
THE DAY IS DONE.
Henry W. Longfellow.
Th day 1 don, and the darkness
Pall from the wing of night '
A a feather te wafted downward
From an eagle In hi flight
X th light of the village
Gleam through th rain and th mist
And a feeling of sadness comes o'er ms,
That my soul can not resist
feeling ef sadness and longing,
That la not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
A th mist resemble the rain.
Dome, read to m some poem.
Borne simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall sooth this restless feeling.
And banish the . thoughts of day. .
Not from the grand old masters.
Not from the bards sub time.
Whose distant footstep echo
Through th corridor ef time.
For. Ilk strain of martial mast.
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life's endlfss toll and endeavor, '
And tonight X long for rest.
Head from some humbler poet,
Whoa songs gushed from his heart.
A showers from the cloud of summer,
ur tears rrom tn eyelids start
Who through long day of labor,
And night devoid of ease.
Still heard In his soul th muslo
Of wonderful melodies.
Such songs hav power to quiet
The restless pulse of care.
And come like the benediction
That follow after prayer. .
Then read from the treasured volume,
The poem of thy choice;
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
Th beauty of thy vole. ,
And the night shall he tilled with muslo,
And the care that In feat tbe day
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away, .
SMILE-STIMULATORS.
"Are your men ambitious?"
4'Oh. very. Every man around the place
Is willing to do anybody's work but his
own." loutsvllle Courier-Journal.
"Can vou tell me what a smile Is?" asked
a gentleman of a little gtrl.
' res, sir: us tne wnisper ox a laugn.
Answers.
Teacher Johnny, can you tell me what a
hypocrite 1st j
Johnnv--Yes. ma'am. It's a Dirv wnai
comes to school with a smile on his face.
Brooklyn Citizen.
room waste paper, mum?
ianaiaay no. ni nun i written any
thing on It yet. Judge.
Willis (ready for school) Mamma, they
are hoisting up a safe down the street.
Mother wen. be careful not to wane on
the safe side. Boston Transcript.
"Look at m!" exclaimed the burglar.
"Look at what?" asked the pocketbook
snatcher.
Them black an' white stripes tnat ail
the style! I kin remember when they put
em on us we tnousnt we was aisaracea:
Washington Star.
MY HANK HAS qoKE ON HIS
VS -TILL HE BEGINS V)
THINK C01DREP POSTAL CARPS
ARE OUST AS 00t!
56
"What" the matter with you?"
"My business has slumped."
"Bah! Tou look so gloomy X thought it
might have been the horn team." Kansas
City Journal.
Edith Haven't you and Jack been en
gaged long enough to get married?
Ethel Too long! He hasn't got a cent
Jett. Boston Transcript.
"We sold our pup."
"What did you sell him for?"
"Why, er he bit hole in th carpet."
Punch Bowl.
'What Is your head clerk working on-
some abstruse chemical problem?"
Tou might say so, yes. He's trying te
compound a red, white and blue drink for
the soda fountain. "Chicago Journal.
Artist (pointing to hts very successful
picture. A Donkey)-'What do you really
think or it, anyway?
Enthusiastic Lady Lovely I And you
have put so much of yourself into it, too.
New York Times.
Mrs. Onagg (with a reputation) Doctor,
I fear my husband's mind Is affected. Is
there any sure test?
Doctor Tell him that you'll never apeaks
to him again. If he laughs he's sane.
Boston Transcript.
"That fashionable Mr. Flubdub has
for divorce."
"What's the charge against her hus
band?"
"Neglect of her bulldog and failure
support the same, I believe." Pittsburgh
FosL
First Office Boy Where wus I yester
day? At me grandmother's funeral!
Second O. B. And was It Interesting?
First O. B. Well, say. Lye seen one
granamoiners iunerai oar worse u
golf I Puck.
PAINS IN SIDE
AND BACK
How Mrs. Kelly Suffered and
How She was Cured.
Burlington, Wis. "I was very irreg
ular, and bad pains in my side and back,
but alter taking
Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Com
pound Tablets and
using two bottles of
the Sanative Wash
I nm fully convinced
that I em entirely
cured of these trou
bles, and feel better
all over. I know
your remedies have
done me worlds of
good and I hope every suffering woman
will give them s trial." Mrs. Anna
Kelly, 710 Chestnut Street, Burling
ton, Wis.
The many convincing testimonials con
stantly published in the newspapers
ought to be proof enough to women who
suffer from those distressing ills pecu
liar to their sex that Lydia E. Pinkham 's
Vegetable Compound is the medicine
they need.
This good old root and herb remedy
baa proved unequalled for these dread
ful ills; it contains what is needed to
restore woman's health and strength.
If there is any peculiarity la
your case requiring special ad
vice, write tbe Lydla 15. Pink
ham Medicine Co. (confidential),
Lynn, Mass, for free advice.
FRECKLES
Don't Hide Them With a Veil; Remove Them
With the Othine Prescription.
This prescription for the removal of
freckles was written by a prominent physi
cian and 1 usually so successful In removing
freckles and giving a clear beautiful com
plexion that It 1 sold by any druggist un
der guaraats to refund th money If It
fall.
Don't hid your freckle unW a veil!
get aa eune ot thtne and remove them,
Even th first few application sbeuld she
a. wonderful Improvement, soma of the light
r freckle vanishing entirely.
Be sure to ask Sherman A McConnell Drug
Co. or any druggist for double strength
othine; It is this that Is sold on the money
back guarantee. Advertisement.
Record of the Brambach
Grand Pianos
Highest quality,
broad in tone, large
in durability, short in
size, small in price
You pay just $465.
Easy Terms
We have bargains in
new and used upright
pianos, $135 up.
$5 Per Month
A. HOSPE CO.
1513-15 Douglas Street.
Things I Do Not Claim
I am not one of those "Great Surgical Specialists1' who
operates on every case because they know not the first
principle of medical treatment. I have no power to look
at you and tell all that ails you without consultation or
examination as some doctors elsim. I claim no greater
skill than some other doctors I know, who practice hon
estly and keep themselves posted. I have no great dis
coveries, and I do not perform miracles, as most adver
tising quacks tell you. THINGS I DO CLAIM: I claim,
after nearly 20 years of very active practice, to be able
to diagnose and treat your case as well as any other
Omaha doctor, no matter what he may charge you. I
claim to treat by medicine and other means most of the
eases that the "Great Surgeons" say only an operation
will help, especially tn diseases and disorders of women.
IT IS A CRIME THE MANY NEEDLESS OPERATIONS
UPON WOMEN. I claim that when you pay your doctor
bill that rou pay double what you should on account of
th book account of th dead-beat. I have no dead-beats or book accounts, as I
do a strictly cash business, but only charge half of what the others charge. Con
sultation and medicine for SI. 00. Examination or office treatment, $2.00. Surgery
prices half also, arranged In advance. You women who have been told you need
an operation are invited to call, medicine and treatment will cure many of you.
Ask any of those I hav treated. Special ear diseases of women.
DR. J. C. WOODWARD
301 Roe Bulldiag. 16th nad Farnam. Phon Tyler 260.
Office hours: to 8. 1p.m. Wednesday. 10 to 12 Sunday.
Unbeatable Exterminator
of Rata, nice and Bugs
Uaed lha World Over - Used by U.S.Qovwnmamt
Th Old Kallmbf Tttf Nnr Falls - 15 c. 25c. Af Druggist
THE RECOGNIZED STANDARD -AVOID SUBSTITUTES
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how good advertising may be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really successful.