THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 2, 1916.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY, PROPRIETOR.
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REMITTANCE.
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OFFICES.
Omaka Tka Be BolMhw.
Sooth Osaka III! N etreot.
Council Bloffe II North Main Itroet.
Luteal IIS LHtl Bnlldln.
Chloaio 111 People'e Oae BalMlns.
Nov Yatk Roam (01. Ill fifth erer.no.
BU Lovil ItS Now Bank of Commerce.
WaahhuTtea III Fourteenth treat, N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Addreei aammmloatlena reletlnf to now and editorial
natter te Omaha Boo, Editorial Department.
JUNE CIRCULATION.
57,957 Daily Sunday 52,877
Dwirkt Willlama, eirenlatlon manner of The Boa
Pvjaltakiae; eomaanr, boinc dalr worn, aarf that the
average circulation (or th month of Jane, ISIS, wee
IT.tS? dallr and 12,177 Sunder.
DWIOHT WILLIAMS, Clrealetlott Manager.
Sake eri bed in my preianeo and awarn to before mo
thle Id dor ot J air. 1111.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public
Subacribara leaving th city temporarily
ohoalei hara Tha Bm mailed t thm. Ad
el raac will be changed aa often aa requested, t
Now watch King Corn hump himielf.
Time again to revive that society for the pre
vention of unnecessary noiiei.
Two years of war and no capitals captured
except that of poor little Belgium and ill-fated
Servial
It is to be noted that none of the taxing aa
thorities reduce rates by cutting out any of the
money which they themselves spend I
The literacy test immigration bill has gone
over until next session. No damage would have
been done had it gone over indefinitely.
Legislation by secret caucus is not usually
palatable to the public, but it seems to be the
only way to get work out of a democratic senate.
And when the rain finally did come to break
the drouth, it came also in total diiregard of the
. weather man's prediction of "fair and warmer,
Nature has a way of taking care of things
that is nearly as good as any man has yet de
vised, Note the timeliness of the rain, for an
example.
Mr, Hughes showed rare discrimination in
picking out the places to hit the administration.
It is not an easy choice to make, where so many
openings exist
v Democrats are going after the woman vot
ers, but it will be hard to make the dear girli
forget the pictures of the president dodging
petitioners at the White Houie. .
The World-Herald's account of the transfer
of the postoffice to our new postmaster does not
mention the senator, who alone is entitled to
the credit for the change. Why?
Omaha's base ball team continues to uphold
its supremacy among its rivals. It is capably
representing the standing of the Gate City thii
season by staying at the top all the time.
What sort of promises were made to the
i southern senators to get them to agree to end
the child slavery in the southern cotton factor
ies? We fear there's a joker there somewhere.
1 ...... . (
A French engineer sets claim to the discovery
of a proeeis that will produce light without heat.
Something of that sort would be a particularly
desirable auxiliary to an acrimonious political
campaign.
The still unsolved puzzle, however, is who
was the "boss" of the so-called populist conven
tion that assumed to turn over to the democratic
ticket an alleged remnant of 18,000 populist votei
in Nebraska?
Whether the price of $98,000 at which it It
(aid the old Union Pacific bridge may be bought
, is fair or not must still be secondary to the
1 question whether there is a location where the
bridge can be made serviceable at any price,
' That terrible fatality in New York reminds
. us again to ask, How are our laws and ordinances
governing the storage of explosives and inflam
mables in Omaha being enforced? Are we ex
ercising the precautions demanded by common
sense and the rules of "safety first?"
Of course, Arthur Mullen is not the demo
cratic "boss" in Nebraska, but the folks most in
terested in securing a land bank for Omaha knew
what they were doing when they appealed to
Mullen instead of to the senator who refuses to
stand up for Omaha, although it is his home
town.
People and Events
Signor Marconi, the "wireless wizard," has but
one eye, having lost the other in a motor acci
dent some years ago.
A fltuarlizarl Rno-liehman knni in PMimml,
who arrived in New York with a German wife on
a Spanish ihip, shrewdly declined to be inter
viewed on the war. Neutrality pays.
' So far the shark scare has not disturbed the
serenity of Philadelphia or satiated its thirst for
knowledge. A recent investuation into the which-
nets of a square meal developed the scientific fact
that it consists of 1.000 calories and Quakertown
. quiciciy put tne essentials on its menu card.
A New York man told the court he is unable
to pay the alimony in the case because when he
works he gets nervous. To cure nervousness he
must take the anti-work treatment regularly, and
having made proviiion for the treatment there
is nothing coming in for alimony. What can the
court ao
' The achievement of the Clearfield (Pa.) girl
who kissed 971 guardsmen as a before-breakfast
appetizer is held to be the onmarv cause of
freight train jumping the track near Clearfield
and breaking into a bedroom of a nearby cottage.
, The intentions of the train crew are above sus
picion, but they didn t get the right number,
Not Such a New Tune After All.
Our amiable democratic contemporary, the
World-Herald, throws several varieties of spasms
over what it chooses to call 'The Bee's new
tune" with a labored effort to uncover a grievous
inconsistency in The Bee's acceptance of the re
publican national platform plank for federal regu
lation of railroads.
If The Bee favored raitroad regulation by
state commissions but experiment had proved the
ineffectiveness of that method and the need of
unified control, we would not hesitate to advocate
some plan that promised more satisfactory re
sults. The founder of The Bee, at one time, was
openly skeptical about an Interstate Commerce
commission of any kind but later became con
verted to it. At another time, The Bee demanded
abolition of our old state board of transportation
and rate regulation by direct legislative act, but
when the old maximum freight rate law was
nullified in the courts, we advocated the establish
ment of the present elective state railway com
mission responsible under the constitution di
rectly to the people rather than subordinate to
the legislature. But experience with this com
mission in Nebraska, as in other states, has de
veloped the fact that the railway problem is es
sentially a national problem and cannot be solved
piece-meal by forty-eight distinct and independ
ently acting bodies.
The realization of this fact, however, on the
part of The Bee is not at all so new a tune as
the World-Herald would make believe, for The
Bee has more than once urged re-organization of
the Interstate Commerce commission to make
it do the work now so badly done by the state
commissions or left undone altogether. If the
World-Herald man will turn to the file of The
Bee back in September, 1909, he will find a dis
cussion of the then proposed enlargement of In
terstate Commerce commission powers in whjch
we said:
"The difficulty which confronts any plan to
enlarge the powers of the Interstate Commerce
commission and to add to its work is that the
commission as now constituted and with its pres
ent powers and duties is entirely inadequate to
the demands upon it which have grown so fast
and become so complicated that no such single
body can fulfill its purpose satisfactorily. The
expanse of territory within the confines of the
United States is too wide, our industries too
numerous, our railroad mileage too colossal, our
problems too varied, the distance too great and
the time too short to have one Interstate Com
merce commission tske up all the raitroad prob
lems, that may arise and grant relief for all the
grievancea and complaints growing out of rail
way transportation.
"What is needed, The Bee believes and has
already urged, is a division of the country into
districts for purposes of railway supervision and
regulation corresponding more or less to the
traffic division's along which the railroads have
themselves organized traffic associations and
the recasting of the Interstate Commerce com
mission so that there shall be a subdivision for
each district to investigate and pass on local
matters, subject to review of the Interstate Com
merce commission or appeal to the Interstate
Commerce court, somewhat in the fashion of
the federal circuit and supreme courts. Just
now, with the best of intentions and steadfast
industry, the Interstate Commerce commission
cannot possibly give prompt hearing and deci
sion on most important controversies, and in
the majority of cases, delay is the same as de
nial of justice, because tardy damages cannot
make up for lost business.
,. "A body with. the authority of the Interstate
Commerce ' commission within easy reach and
ready to transact business with dispatch in each
traffic division would make effective the various
rate regulations and Interstate Commerce com
mission laws as they were intended to operate.
Uniformity of rulings would be secured by re
view and appeal, and undue delay, whose un
certainty now nrevents oeoole from aiaertino
their rights, would become the exception instead
oi ine ruie.
We have clearly a straight-out issue between
the two political parties in this pending presi
dential campaign as between nationalizing the
control and regulation of the railroads, and con
tinuing the feeble, confusing and conflicting ef
forts at control by each state for Itself within its
wn boundaries, On that issue, The Bee is for
national control and is confident that the re
publican party, if entrusted with the duty, will
work out a reorganization of the Interstate Com
merce commission to make it equal to its task
and responsive to the public demands.
Bossy's Place in the Home..
Prof. Frandsen of the University of Nebraska
proposes to celebrate the cow as the protector
of the home. None will dispute the importance
of her mission. Milk, butter and cheese are big
on the list of staple items in man's dietary and
afford the basis for many dainties to decorate a
meal, a banquet or a feast. Perhaps the old cow
will produce enough to provide for the family
while father ia away fighting for his country;
she may lift the mortgage and send the tax gath
erer away with a new light in his eyes, and all
her days make glad the hearts of mother and the
tittle ones. With Rover and Puss and Dobbin.
she will form a quartet of guardian angels past
whose vigilance no misfortune may reach the
humble home. But this isn't necessary in Ne
braska, where a little honey goes with the milk
that flowi, and where grapes similar to those
brought in by the spies of Joshua may be had.
The swine and the poultry yard are yet to be
relied upon, and bacon and eggs will piece out
the milk menu so that the fodder of the folks at
home may be slightly varied. Let us give the
cow all her dues, but let us not overlook some
of the other important contributors to the pros
perity of Nebraska and the fatness of its inhabitants.
King Caucus Rules in Senate.
No political party ever found itself in the
plight of the democrats at this time. Facing the
effect of an accumulation of administrative and
legislative blunders, with an array of broken
pledges and neglected opportunities, the leaders
are now striving in desperation to produce some
showing that will enable them to make claims of
having really served the people. This has
forced them to resort to the rigid rule of the
caucus again. Monday the senators who rep-
resent the "sovereign" states were lined up in
the democratic caucus and bound by an ironclad
rule to submit to the decision of the secret con
clave of the party. Alt pretense of liberty is
done away with under the pressure of party ex
pediency. Whatever legislation is to be enacted
will be determined upon and shaped behind
closed doors, and the consideration of it in open
session will be farcical, so far as the majority
party is concerned.
The administration party could scarcely have
given more emphatic endorsement to the charges
of incapacity against it. The people well know
how to reward such inefficient service.
I TOhAV
Thought Nugget for the Day.
There is only one stimulant that never fails and
yet never intoxicates Duty. Duty puts a Diue
sky over every man up in his heart, it may be
into which the skylark Happiness always goes
singing. George D. Prentice.
One Year Ago Today in the War.
Auitro-German ring narrowed about Ivangorod.
German official announcement of the capture
of Mitau, capital of Courland.
Many inhabitants tied trom Warsaw in anti
cipation of German occupation.
Official English estimate put German army in
service at 4,000,000, with 750,000 more in training.
This Day in Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
Dewey & Stone, the well known furniture deal
ers of this city, have just shipped two car loads
of elegant furniture to Charley Kitchen of the
Capitol hotel in Lincoln, who has just completed
a large addition to his hotel.
Marshal Cummings has promulgated an order
that no policeman, while on his beat, shall be
If f (wSa
allowed to go into a saloon for any purpose what
ever, except in cases of actual necessity.
R. W. (jibson, late ot the nrm ot narnson, uid
son & Wootey, has severad his connection with
that firm and has ooened an office in Room 5,
Withnell block, corner Fifteenth and Harney.
The underwriters doing business in Nebraska
met at the parlors of the Paxton for the purpose
of organizing, and the tollowing omcers were
elected: J. M. Emery, president; W. E. Ten
Broeck. first vice oresident; W. H. Lawton, sec
ond vice president; F. A. Woodruff, secretary, and
n. V. Male, treasurer. -
Colonel Henrv. who returned to town, says the
party had a most enjoyable trip to Denver, thence
to Portland, Ore., along the Columbia river,
thence to Tacoma and Seattle, Wash., and across
Puget sound to Victoria, B. C. The remainder of
the party, consisting of Mr. Callaway, Mr. Mors
man. ludare and Mrs. Savage and Mrs. Clarkson
will return later in the week after doing the moun
tains of Colorado.
Mr. and Mrs. John Schenk and their little
daughter, Lulu, have returned to their home in
Dayton, after an extended visit at the home ot
Mr. and Mrs. John A. Creighton.
Today in History.
1689 Garrison at Pemaauid, Maine, attacked by
Indians and forced to surrender.
1757 Montcalm, governor of Canada, besieged
Fort William Henry, at the head of Lake George,
with about 10,000 French and Indians.
1813 Major George Croghan, with 150 men.
held Fort Stephenson at lower Sandusky, O.,
against an assault by a large force of British and
Indians.
1816 Bishop Thomas J. Daggett, the first Epis
copal bishop consecrated on American soil, died
in Prince George's' county, Md. Born there in
17.
1817 The first steamboat to ascend the upper
Mississippi, the "General Pike," reached St, Louis.
low Mr John Barrow first entered the strait
which bears his name.
1832 United States force defeated Indians
under Black Hawk at mouth of the Bad Axe.
1858 Paid fire department organized in Chi
cago.
1866 Dr. John H. Lathrop, president of the
University of Missouri, died at Columbia, Mo.
Born at Sherburne, N. Y., Jan 22, 1799.
1870 The French government announced that
"they make war, not against Germany, but against
Prussia, or, rather, against the policy of Count
Bismarck." .
1873 France, except Verdnn. was evacuated by
the Germans.
1892 Lord Salisbury resigned the British pre
miership.
1900 An anarchist attempted the life of the
shah of Persia, who was visiting Paris.
This ia the Day We Celebrate.
Dr. Charles H. Gietzen is just 40 vears old. He
was born in Fremont and graduated in dental sur
gery at Northwestern university in Chicago. He
practiced first in Columbus, and removed to
Omaha in 1904.
Rev. Hans M. Hansen, pastor of Pella Lutheran
church, was born Aug. 2, 1874, at Highland Park,
111. He was educated at lnnity seminary and
Dana college at Blair. Assumed his first pas
torate at Cordova in 1904. He was called to
Omaha in 1908.
Samuel V. Stewart, governor of Montana, born
in Monroe county, Ohio, forty-four years ago
today.
William Watson, one of the most celebrated of
contemporary English poets, born in Yorkshire,
niiy-eigm years ago today.
Prof. Milton Whitney, chief of the bureau of
soils of the United States Department of Agri
culture, born in Baltimore, fifty-six years ago
today.
Nicholas P. Cornish, president of the South
Atlantic National league base ball team, born at
Savannah, Go., forty-seven years ago today.
Leon K. Ames, pitcher for the St. Louis Na
tional league base ball team, born at Warren, Pa.,
thirty-three years ago today.
Ray Bronson, well known middleweight pugilist
and manager, born at Webster City, Ia.; twenty
nine years ago today.
Where They All Are Now.
Arthur Jorgenson is head of the educational
work of the Young Men's Christian association
in Tokio, Japan, the largest school center in the
association.
George Babcock of the Omaha Youris- Men'
Christian association, who went from here to
Mexico as national secretary, is now a general
secretary of the international committee, with
headquarters at New York.
Thomas R. Hill, formerly general agent for the
Provident Life & Trust Co., in Omaha, is west
ern supervisor of agents for the company, with
offices in Chicago.
Frank Ober. a former general secretarv of the
Omaha Young Men's Christian association, is now
editor of "Association Men," the official organ, at
New York City. -
Judge Charles S. Lobingier is American rep
resentative in the international court at Shanghai.
He was for a period of years commissioner of
our state supreme court.
Timely Jottings and Reminders,
France will observe today, the second anni
versary of the killing of Corporal Jules Andre
Peugeot, who was the first French victim of the
war.
West Virginia democrats are to meet in etatc
convention today at Parkersburg, to name tiro
candidates for the state supreme bench, write a
platform and select presidential electors.
A meeting is to be held at St. Louis today to
periect tne organization ot the National Commer
cial Apple Growers' association.
A call has been issued for a national rnnviintlnn
of representatives of the negro race, to be held in
Denver today to consider, among other things, a
pian to colonize American negroes in Liberia.
Storyette of the bay.
A Scotch gardener was hammering away at the
bottom of his wheelbarrow on a Sunday, when his
wife hurried out to him.
"Mon, mon'" she exclaimed, "you're making a
dreadfu' clatter. What wult the neeboura aav?"
"Never mind the neebours," returned her hus
band. I maun get ma harrow memlit ."
"Oh, but DonaP, it's vera wrong to work on the
Sabbath," protested the good woman. "Ye ought
to in screws. New Horn limes.
Summer Retort m Nebraska.
Onlslli. Nb.. AusT. 1. To the Editor of
The Bee: After four week of very hot
weather over large portion of th northern
states, let u take stock. How have we come
through it her in western Nebraska com
pared with other localities? With sixty fa
tal cases of heat prostration in Chicago in
single day and other places in like pro
portion. It appear that Nebraska Is In the
right location to be nearly immune from
such attacks; especially is it so in all that
portion of th state west of a line at North
Platte, for In that district a case of heat
prostration has never been known that could
not be directly traced to some other cause or
illness. What is the answer T The eleva
tion is 8,000 to 4,000 feet, or about double
that at the Missouri river. The days are
hot. yes. and we ean appreciate th cool
breezes that spring up at sunset, and by 11
o'clock you may wrap a heavy quilt around
you and li down to pleasant dreams and
come up in th morning smiling, ready and
fit for another day's battle. It is an old
saying every mile west from the Missouri
river brings you nearer heaven.
It 1 not necessary to go to the mountains
for a summer resort. However, a great
many do go to be in the swim and from the
fact that it Is only from six to ten hours
by auto to the foot of the Hockies. Are
the winters cold and severe owing to the
higher altitude. On the contrary, the win
ters are mild and thus it is a delightful
place to live all th year round. They travel
to the east and they travel to the west, but
they are all mighty glad to come back home.
EDWIN M. SEARLE.
Insists No Heit In the Sun.
Gibbon, Neb., Aug. 1. To the Editor of
Th Be: Has the sun a heated surface? Ev
idently not for the following reasons : As
we are 8,000,000 miles nearer the sun in
January than in July, taking the world over,
we see no rise in temperature at the former
dat. As th planet Mercury, when at peri
helion, or nearest approach is but 28,000,000
miles, and at aphelion Is 48,000,000 miles
from th sun: and the planet Venus' mean
distance being 88,180,000 miles from the sun,
against 82,800,000 miles for our planet Were
the sun radiating heat as is ordinarily sup
posed, those inner planets would be burned
to a cinder or certainly be unsuitable for ani
mal or vegetable life on account of th in
tense heat, while the outer planets, Jupiter,
475,892,000; Saturn, 872.185,000; Uranus,
1,758,881,000, and Neptune, 2,746,271,000
miles from the sun would be locked in eter
nal frigidity and therefore uninhabitable.
It would certainly be a travesty on the
wisdom of the architect of the universe (of
which our solar system forms so very infini
tesimal a part) to think that those vast orbs,
the uafter four being from 100 to 1,200 times
larger than our planet, should be formed and
placed in inch climatic conditions as to ren
der them useless except to shed a faint twin
kling light for the sole benefit of the Inhabi
tant of our little planet
That the sun's light and heat are produced
electrically Is easily proven. Take a com
mon convex lens, a four-inch reading glass
will do, focus the sun's rays on the bulb of
the thermometer, and the mercury will rise
fifty degrees or more in less than that num
ber of seconds. Now, place the bulb in the
focus of an electric arc light, as used in
moving picture machines, and the results will
be exactly the same as with the sun s ray.
Now try your lens by throwing a focus from
a fire, lamp, gas or any light or heat pro
duced by combustion, no matter how intense.
and there will be no results; the focus will be
qold, showing that the sun s light and heat
are produced electrically and not by combus
tion. Were the sun depending on combus
tion for Its light and heat the supply of fuel
would eventually be exhausted and the sun
be dead and the solar system be in darkness
and ruin.
Now, our dynamos for electric lighting are
cold, yet they are capable of sending electro
motive force through the wires which, meet
ing the resistance of the carbon, candle or
filament, both light and heat ar produced,
and the outermost light or heating plant re
ceives the sam degree of intensity as those
nearest to th dynamo.
It is very reasonable to suppose that th
sun, probably assisted by the planets, sate
tites, comets and asteroids circling around
it, acts as a great dynamo and is the source
of all electric energy of our solar system,
and that it Is sending electric impulse
through the Intervening ether and, that when
the light rays meet the resistance of the at
mosphere of a planet light is produced and
that when the dark, calorific, or heat rays,
impinge on the surface of a planet heat Is
produced, the outer planets receiving approx
imately the same degree of light and heat as
those nearest the sun. This very essential
distribution of light and heat which places
them wher needed and permitting no dissi
pation of energy through inter-stellar space
where It is not needed, could be produced by
no other known method.
Wc see no such proportionate waste any
where else In nature. That the earth itself
is a very important factor in the produc
tion of heat Is evident from the rapidity with
which th cold increases as we recede from
the earth, as witness the perpetually tnow
eappd mountains even at the equator. And
this theory can easily account for th sun
spots as being rifts or holes through the
sun's photosphere, through which we can se
the dark body of the sun, and why they only
appear to us near the sun's equator where
the ends of the openings are towards us.
Our own Aurora Boreal is, with Its coun
terpart, A. Australis, at the south pole,
and very common at the poles, and often in
our latitude, sends streamers of light, nearly
or quite to the senith, and often affects our
electric lines, Is doubtless analogous to the
so-called Jets of flame which astronomers
see thrown out from the sun's photosphere
particularly during an eclipse of the sun.
ELLIOTT LOOM 13.
AROUND THE CITIES.
Dayton. O., pay Its city manager 912,500,
a year.
Kansas City has established a park ex
clusively for women.
Reno, Nev. ha opened Its first public
playground for children.
A convention hall that will seat 20,000
people Is projected for Minneapolis.
Seven thousand men are regularly em
ployed in cleaning the streets of New York
City. .
New York City limits the height of adver
tising sign to seventy-five feet above the
roofs on which they are built
"Don't spit on the walks" 1 the mandate
which Milwaukee has steneiled in big green
letters on its downtown pavements.
Kansas City, Kan., has adopted th safety
one system for all the principal streets and
busy street car intersection points.
Wireless communication Is soon to be es
tablished between police headquarters and
suburban stations in New York City.
Cambridge, Mass., now has a one-man
paid commission to handle the publicity and
industrial development work of th city.
Kansas City, Mo, recently paid a Now
York sanitary engineer 8100 a day to mak
a survey of the city and recommend a plan
of garbage and waste disposal.
Three thousand street cleaners, repair men.
garbage collectors and other laborers env
ployed by the city of Cleveland, have had
their pay Increased t9 cents a day
Forth Worth Is to Install large search
light, electrically controlled, on the top of
the city hall for the purpose of signaling
patrolmen in the outlying sections of th
city.
Th head of the public works department
In Duluth has appointed ten of the city's
most prominent civil and mechanical n
rimers to serve as an advisory board for
his department
Watcrtown, Conn., has won a silver cup
offered by the New England elean-up cam
paign committee as the town with a popula
tion of 5,000 or less which accomplished the
beat results during the elean-up week.
Garden streets, increased depths of lots
and "elbow room," even between small two
story houses, for air and health and attrac
tiveness, ar among th many measures be
ing urged by th department of public works
in Philadelphia for adoption In developing
unbollt-up sections of the city.
TOLD IN FUN.
While a certain Scotch minister was con
ducting religious services In an asylum
for the insane one of the Inmates cried out
Idly:
"I say, have we got to listen to this?"
The minister, surprised and confused,
turned to th keeper and said;
"Shall I stop speaklngi"
The keeper replied:
"No, no; gang along, gang along; that
will not happen again. That man only has
one lucid moment every seven years. i tie
Christian Herald.
I'M IN UVC WW A UFE
QJffl WOW CAN 1 FIM OUT
vmtf HEiMVIIttrt?
SHINING HIS MEDALS
fervor. She had not recovered when she
reached the railway? tat Ion. for she re
marked to a friend as they walked on
the platform: "To think that it was from
this very platforms the Immortal bard
would depart whenever he Journeyed to
town !"Argonaut
Patience: Your brother la a great bar
gain hunter. I hear.
Patrice: He sure Is, And he's quite ex
cited Just now.
"What about?"
"Oh. he's a confirmed bachelor, you know,
but he read an advertisement yesterday In
the paper about great bargains In wedding
rings, and now he's all upset." Yonk era
Statesman.
"Charley, dear," said young Mrs. Torklna.
"thy have dog tents In the army, don't
they?"
"Why, yne. You see, It'a a sort of tech
nical term "
"You needn't trouble to explain. I guess
I understand words of one syllable. What
I wanted to say Is that I'm glad our faith
ful four-footed friends are . provided for.
Only I suspect the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Animals made them do It.
Washington Star.
Newcomer (at resort): Is this a restful
place 7
Native: well, it used ter do until ioiks
began comln' here fer to rest Boston
Transcript.
oultted of murder. On what grounds?
Barrister insanity, we provea tnat ms
father once spent two years in an asyium.
Barrister's Wife But he didn't, did he?
Barrister Yes. He was a doctor there.
but we had not time to bring that fact
out London Tit-Bits.
"Behind the altar." said the cathedral
guide to a party of tourist, "lies Richard
II. In the churchyard outside lies Mary
Queen of Scots. And who" halting above
an unmarked flagging In the stone floor and
addresslnr a tourist from London "who
do you think, sir. Is a-lytng 'ere on this
spot?"
"Well," answered the Cockney, "I don't
know for sure, but I have my suspicions."
TH-Blts.
"How long did you stay In your last
place 7"
"Two weeks, mum, and before I agree
to come to work for you I should tike to
know how long you kept the last girl you
had. Detroit Free Press.
Mrs. Youngbride I'm getting our Ice
from a new man now. dear.
Youngbride What's wrong with the other
man 7"
Mrs. Youngbride The new dealer says
he'll give us colder ice lor tne same money.
Boston Transcript,
An American lady at Stratford -on -Avon
showed even more than the usual American
AN OLD SWEETHEART
OP MINE.
James Whltcomb Riley,
As one who cons at evening o'er an album
all alone,
And muses on the faces of the friends that
he has known,
So X turn the leaves of fancy till In shadowy
design,
I find the smiling features of an old sweet
heart of mine.
Th lamplight seems to glimmer with a
flicker of surprise.
As I turn it low to rest me of the daszle
In my eyes,
And light my pipe In silence, save a sigh
that seems to yoke
Its fate with my tobacco and to vanish with
the smoke.
Tls frgrant retrospection for the loving
thoughts that start
Into being are like perfumes from th blos
som of the heart;
And to dream the old dreams over Is a lux
ury divine
When my truant fancy wanders with that
old sweetheart of mine.
Though I hear, beneath my study, like a
fluttering of wings,
The voices of my children, and the mother
aa she sings,
X feel no twinge of conscience to deny me
any theme
When care has cast her anchor In the har
bor of a dream.
In fact, to speak in earnest I believe It adds
a charm
To spice the good a trifle with a little dust
of harm
For I find an extra flavor In Memory's mel
low wine
That makes me drink the deeper to that old
sweetheart of mine.
A face of illy beauty, with a form of airy
grace,
Floats out of my tobacco as the genlt from
the vase;
And I thrill beneath the glances of a pair of
aiure eyes
As glowing as the summer and as tender as
the skies.
I can see the pink bonnet and the little
checkered dress
She wore when first I kissed her and she
answered the caress
With the written declaration that, "as surely
as the Divine
Grew round the stump," she loved me that
old sweetheart of mine.
And acaln I feel the pressure of her slender
little hand,
As we used to talk together of the future we
had planned
When I should be a poet and with nothing
else to do
But write the tender verses that she set
music to:
When we should live together in a cosy little
cot
Hid In a nest of roses, with a fairy garden
spot, Where the vines were ever fruited, and the
weather ever fine.
And the birds were ever singing for that old
sweetheart of mine;
When I should be her lover forever and a
day.
And she my faithful sweetheart till the
golden hair was gray;
And we should be so happy that when
either' Hps were dumb
They would not smile In Heaven till the
other's kiss had corns.
But, ah! my dream is broken by a step upon
the stair
And the door la softly opened, and my wife
-1s standing there;
Yet with eagerness and rapture all my vis
ions I resign
To greet the living presence of that old
sweetheart ot mine.
Investigation Proves
that various disease ferms hare their breeding-place la the waste
products of the body. Don't then, let your bowels clog and throw
these harmful germs back on the blood. Take no chances with serious
Illness. Keep your bowels fret, snd the bile regulated with
BEIGIlAsVs'S PILLS
which promptly sad surely relieve constipation. Indigestion, biliousness
and sick headache. They are compounded from drugs of vegetable
origin-harmless and not habit-forming. The experience of three
generations show that Beecham's Fills prevent disease and are
A Great Aid to Health
Diraetiooa of pciaj vaju to women with ovary box
Sold by draxffiata throughout the world, la bases, 10c, 28c.
MOTOR
RESTAURANTS
Free With LUXUS Coupons
Also Thermos Bottles.
Jan and Lunch Kits
Phone Tyler 420, or drop us a
postal and we will send you
illustrated circulars.
Fred Krug Brewing Co.
Premium Dept.
OMAHA, NEBRASKA
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how good advertising maybe
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really successful.