THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, JULY 26, 1916.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
D
FOUNDED BV EDWARD ROSEWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
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JUNE CIRCULATION.
57,957 Daily Sunday 52,877
' Dwight Wllllamt, circulation manager of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that the
average circulation for the month of June, 1K, was
M.tSJ daily and 62,877 Sunday.
DWIGHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed in my presence and sworn to before me
thla Sd day of July, 191i.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public.
Subscriber leaving the) city temporarily
ahrald hara The Be mailed to them. Ad
el rasa will be changed as often as requested.
t
dry.
This if no time for a swimming pool to go
Ship Building in War Timet.
According to figure! furnished by the De
partment of Commerce, the United States for
the first time in half a century leads the world
in merchant shipbuilding. Ordinarily this would
be occasion for much satisfaction, but it is due
to the employment of shipyards in foreign coun
tries for war purposes rather than to the unusual
growth of American facilities. The returns from
Lloyds indicate a decline in the world's output
of stf-el merchantmen from a gross tonnage of
3,332,882 in 1913 to 1,201,638 in 1915. The latter
figures, necessarily, do not include any returns
from Austria and Germany, which were 61,757 and
465,226 gross tons, respectively, in 1913. But
British production has fallen from 1,932,153 in
1914 to 650,919 gross tons in 1915. It is esti
mated by Lloyds that the total decline in ship
building from the beginning of the war in 1914
up to date is 3,500,000 gross tons. To this
should be added an estimated total loss of ship
ping actually destroyed of 2,713,966 gross tons,
or a total shortage of more than six million
gross tons.
For the current year ship builders in the
United States estimate they will launch 351 steel
ships, of a total tonnage of 672,106. This is more
than three times the output of 1915, and only
about half the actual tonnage on order books.
The figures are interesting, as showing the pros
pects for a continuation of activity in shipyards,
no matter when peace is declared, and also for
the maintenance of ocean freights at a high
figure. The restoration of the German merchant
fleet to service will relieve the freight situation
to some degree, as will the removal of war risk,
but several years will be required to restore to
the fleets of the world the tonnage tost through
cessation of building and the havoc of war.
' After preparedness comes the problem of get
ting the price.
. From intimations dropped in Parliament it is
evident that Bagdad may match Callipoli.
Long before the man-eating sharks got busy
the rights of neutrals commanded scant respect
I along the Atlantic beaches. . '
, Buying the Danish West Indies will bring
" to a conclusion another great enterprise, com-
1 menced by the republicans; '
Captain Koenig of the Deutschland proved
- himself a good sailor, and is now showing that
he it also a pretty good diplomat.
( Newt from Texas indicates that Guard mem
( ben who went to the' border looking for a fight
1 arc furnishing their own hostilities.
i .
"I ' "Fossils found in the vicinity of Washington,"
says a headline. Cheer up. The country will clinch
its demand for a change in November.
When Juiiut Caesar attached hit name to the
seventh month he probably figured othera be
sides himself were entitled to a hot time.
The "Jacks" were not nearly so bellicose in
Hastings as they are in ' Omaha sometimes.
Maybe that's one. reason they never get any
Ak-Sar-B.en may have made a little money
out of the Wild West show, but the Humane
society complaint will get lot of attention, just
the same
A court decision may clear up tome of the
law points, and set tjie good roads bond issue
on a little firmer base; The suit it only a post
ponement of the inevitable.
Chairman Gurney it tome "keynoter," but he'
undertook big job when he tried to condense
all the shortcomings of the Wilson administr
tion into one speech. It can't be done.
The kaiser might also have added that the
presence of king or emperor is no longer at es
sentially necessary on the battlefield as it was
when hit family established the dynasty.
'Brother-in-Law "Tommy" Allen'a name went
in on an auspicious day, when the tenator was
engineering a "harmony gathering of the faith'
ful. : A luckier time couldn't have been picked.
Successive appropriation bills sent from the
house to' the senate return to the latter body fat
tened out of shape." The reputation of the popu
lar branch of congress for raids on the public
treasury should be revised downward.
A Big Job Waiting for Someone.
Douglas county has more than sixty school
districts outside of Omaha in each of which a
school is being conducted under direction of a
separate local board of trustees. In other words,
we have more than sixty school centers in this
county, outside of Omaha, with independent man
agement and no common bond except the super
vision of the county superintendent and the col
lection of the school taxes by the county treas
urer. Of course all these little school districts
are governed by the same state laws and are
working along similar lines of child teaching and
training, but in the very nature of the case there
must be a tremendous lot of wastefulness and du
plication even without questioning the absolute
honesty and good intent of the business manage
ment. Imagine Omaha with sixty public schools con
ducted independently, each by its own board of
managers! How long would the. people rest
satisfied with such a situation? A law was put on
the statute books by the legislature not long ago
supposed to make possible consolidation of the
rural school districts in the county, yet no move
has been made so far as we know to take ad
vantage of it. The job of consolidating and unify
ing the management of the rural schools of Doug
last county, is waiting for someone to tackle it.
A recent inspection of gasoline pumps in Cali
fornia revealed an average of five gallons cashed
in to fouh gallons delivered to auto tanks. Little
mistakes of this kind help to an understanding
of the wherefores of 100 per cent oil dividends.
, . 1 a v t '-,
. Public esteem for the $37,000,000 public build
ings bill, depends largely on the tactical .distribu
tion of the juky slices. The Wisconsin town
which spurned the bacon achieved momentary
fame, but did not alter a grease spot on the polit
ical map. ' ." V ' v
Shafts Aimed at Omaha
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Blair Enterprise: The Omaha Grain exchange
hat established a gambling joint, in connection
with its grain market, to enable the tportily in
clined to bet on the future pricet of grain and
provisions, a scheme for trimming the country
town yokels. '
Plattsmouth Journal: Farm loan bank race
between Omaha and Lincoln will make a warm
fight. Lincoln beat Omaha out of the reserve
bank by her contention and she will do the
'same with this. Omaha should turn around and
favor tome more central location than Lincoln.
say Grand Island.
f Haysprings News: Omaha is a great city,
made to by the persistant efforts of the Omaha
Commercial club? Nit, by the columns of free
advertising dope contributed by the local news
papers all over the state, under the persistant,
thank you in advance," method used by said
Commercial club. i
" Rushville Recorder: At the Omaha Bee lays,
"H is always easier to boost .the . tax rate than
; to' pull it down again.". Its about time some
thoughts of economy should come into the tax
making body, because someone had the nerve
to remind us that any fool can spend money, but
. it taket a genius to economise efficiently.
'.'Valley Enterprise: The lettert tent out last
week to the newspaper and to others by Com-
. missioner Manley of the Omaha Commercial club,
paid a nice compliment to our city and to the
roads. When we remember that Mr. Mauley and
hit boosters drove over the road from this place
to the Platte river wagbn bridge, we don't under
stand how he could have laid what he did. That
road is a disgrace, to' Douglas county and yet
Valley it catering to Saunders county trade.
, s i - .
Buying the Danish West Indies.
Negotiations for the purchase by the United
States of the Danish West Indies have reached a
point where the deal it practically consummated.
This point has been approached several times in
the past, but the actual purchase has invariably
been blocked by the influence of some European
power. The islands, which lie off Porto Rico,
are of little value aside from their strategic im
portance. In the. possession of a first-class Eu
ropean power, they would be a continual menace
to our coast, permitting the establishment of a
naval base from which operations against the
United States would be easy. This fact has led
to several unsuccessful efforts by our government
to obtain possession of the islands. One point
has been in our favor; while we have not been
able to secure the group, we have been able to
prevent one of the greater European powers from
obtaining control. The turn in Danish affairs,
resulting from the war, has again placed the
United States in position to negotiate, and the
bargain apparently has been struck.
s This group, with Porto Rico, will give the
United States much better standing at the en
trance to the Caribbean, where Great Britain and
France now command. The strategical impor
tance of this is easily understood, particularly
when the Panama canal is given its proper weight
as a factor in war as well as peace. The main
tenance of our supremacy in American waters is
paramount to other considerations, and the ac
quisition of the Danish West Indies is a move
to accomplish that purpose.
Where Instruction Ii Needed.
Much good advice it being given by authorities
charged with looking after public health, inform
ing people as to how to combat not only the
dreaded infantile paralysis, but also how to avoid
contracting or spreading other diseases. This
advice in the main takes the form of constant
adjuration to cleanliness. People are urged to be
ever zealously watchful that homes and home sur
roundingi are kept clean, and police and other
public-inspectors are warned to be vigilant in
oversight of all placet where food and drink are
dispensed, that no danger be permitted to lurk
there. And always the people are advised to con
suit a physician at the first sign of sickness
among children. Right here is the rub. Many
poor persons are averse to consulting a physician
because of the expense. They are inclined to
rely on nature, or home remedies, rather than to
incur a doctor's bill. These people need to be
instructed in how to secure the services of the
various agencies that locally exist for furnishing
medical advice and treatment without cost to
those who are not able to pay. Omaha is not
overburdened with dispensaries, and other places
where assistance of this sort is given, but it has
tome, perhaps all that are needed. The poor
ought to be taught how to reach them.
Thought Nugget for the Day.
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it;
Only language and then the mind grows heated;
Begin and then the worn will ne completed.
J. Wolfgang von tjoetne.
One Year Ago Today in the War.
Italy announced occupation of the Island of
Pelagosa in the Adriatic.
Teuton forces pushed Russians back between
the Narew and the Bug in fierce drive north of
Warsaw.
Great Britain asked that her reply to Wash
ington, concerning American protest against Ger
man blockade, be withheld from publication, as
he intended to send amended answer.
This Day in Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
A. D. Brandeis of the hrm ot Brandeis & son,
has gone to Wisconsin on a week's vacation, after
which he will visit New York for the purpose of
buying new goods.
Julius Meyer has returned trom the National
Saengerfest at Milwaukee. He was delighted
with the trip and is now even more musical than
ever.
The hoard nf nublie works has let the contract
for the grading of Park avenue from Leavenworth
to Baltimore streeet to b. Katz, the price being
15 cents per cubic yard.
the bridge over North Umaha creek at the
foot of Cass has been finished. It is built of wood
and iron to cost $250. This is intended to enable
wagons loaded with refuse to cross the creek or
slough and reach the dump boat, which is moored
on the river bank at that point and drop it into
the water.
The Rev. F. Duncan Jandon. rector of Christs
church, P. E. Parish, Dyersville, la., is visiting
his friend, General I. E. Smith of Omaha.
superintendent Smith of the horse-car line is
putting an extra car on the Thirteenth street line
The return of Warden Osborne to the manage
ment of Sing Sing prison was signalised by a con.
vict celebration and the arrest in Baltimore of a
former prisoner for forging the warden'! name to
a check. The coincidence is annoying, bat not un
usual. Few flocks wholly escape the taint of black
sheep. '
The wheat and small grain harvest it assured,
but the corn crop is yet due for enough ups and
downs to keep the board of trade margin specula-
tort in the game. ,
Purchasers of spring (chicken at restaurant
prices may ' get tome : consolation from the
thought that Douglas county assesses them at
50 cents a head.
ITOHAV
which leaves the car barns on Vinton street at
5:45 in the morning.
A pleasant birthday party was mven at the
residence of Mrs. Fred W. Kuehn on Twenty-
third and Leavenworth street in honor of her
birthday.
Today in History.
1oa New York ratmed the constitution ot
the United States.
1816 The Pennsylvania supreme court decided
that the child of a slave, born in Pennsylvania,
was free.
1829 The Russian army crossed the Balkans
in the advance upon Turkey.
iBOl William J. Florence, celebrated actor,
born at Albany, N. Y. Died in Philadelphia, No
vember 19, 1891.
1856 Duke of Cambridge appointed comman
der-in-chief of the British army.
IboJ the confederate cavalry leader, ohn H.
Morgan, captured with most of his command at
New Lisbon, O.
1886 Marquis of Salisbury became British
premier for the second time.
lavs the Spanish government, through the
French ambassador at Washington, asked the
United States for terms of peace.
lew President tleureaux ot San Domingo.
was assassinated.
1904 Severe fighting began at Port Arthur.
which ended with the capture of Wolf hill bv
Japanese.
The Day We Celebrate.
I. C. Eugene Duval, better known as "Gene."
assistant general western agent of the Chicago,
Milwaukee & St. Paul Railway company, has
celebrated his fifty-fourth birthday today. He
was born in ioronto and was brought to this
country as an infant, starting out in the railroad
business at New Haven, Mich., in 1876, and going
up ever since.
Kobert Lowell, prominent business man and
member of the Board of Education, was born
July 26, 1858, at Laxey, a romantic spot on the
Isle of Man.
D. L. Johnson was born July 26. 1856. He was
educated in the Ohio university at Athens, O., and
studied law while teaching school. He was ad
mitted to the bar in 1886, locating four years' later
in Omaha.
Brigadier General George A. Dodd, who led
the cavalry dash into Mexico last spring, born in
Pennsylvania, sixty-four years ago today.
Edward M. House, known as one of President
Wilson's most intimate friends and advisers, born
at Houston, Tex., fifty-eight years ago today.
oeorge Bernard snaw, tngiand s most cele
brated dramatic author, born in Dublin, sixty
years ago today.
Rear Admiral John A. Rodgers, U. S. N., re
tired, born at Havre de Grace, Md., sixty-eight
years ago today.
Leo Wiener, once a pedler of shoestrings, now
a professor at Harvard university, born in Russia,
fifty-four years ago today.
James K. Vardaman, United States senator
from Mississippi, born in Jackson county, Tex.,
fifty-five years ago today.
Ernest H. Schelling, noted pianist and com
poser, born in New Jersey, forty years ago today.
George B. Cortelyou, former secretary of the
treasury, born in New York City, fifty-four years
ago today.
George Barr McCutcheon, author of "Brew
ster's Millions" and other popular novels, born in
Tippecanoe county, Ind., fifty years ago today.
Where They All Are Now.
Miss Hannah Logasa, formerly connected with
the Omaha Public library, is with the library de
partment of the University of Chicago.
Marjr Holland Kinkaid is operating, in New
York City, a bureau for placing dramatic manu
scripts and players. When she lived in Omaha
she was engaged in newspaper work.
Max Landow, who made his reputation here as
a pianist, is connected with the Peabody Con
servatory of Music in Baltimore.
Timely Jottings and Reminders.
The American soccer team is booked to sail
from New York today for its Scandinavian tour.
The United States League of Local Building
and Loan associations meets in St. Louis today
for its annual convention.
A Southern negro folksong festival, the first
large affair of its kind ever held, is to open today
at Dallas, Tex.
The fourth national convention of the National
Council of Women Voters will begin a four-day
session today at Cheyenne, VVyo.
Brigadier General George A. Dodd, who led
the tavalry dash into Mexico last March, will be
placed on the retired list of the army today on
account of age.
The annual convention of the Police Chiefs
association of New York will begin at Kingston
today, and continue in session over tomorrow.
Adventists from all parts of New England are
expected to attend the second annual camp meet
ing of the Central Massachusetts Advent Chris
tian Camp Meeting association, which is to open
at Palmer, Mass., today and continue until Aug
ust 6.
Storyette of the Day.
Dr. X hired O'Brien to clean off the walk from
hit house to the front gate. At the close of the
day, when he examined Pat's work, he was dis
satisfied with It.
"O'Brien," he said, "the whole walk is covered
with gravel and dirt In my estimation it's a bad
job."
Pat looked at him in surprise for a moment
and replied: "Shure, doctor, there's many a bad
job of yours covered with gravel and dirt. Bos
ton Transcript.
Letter From Dr. Wiley.
Omaha, July 25. To the Editor of Th
Bee: One doea not like to hear the (treat
initiative work that wu accomplished by
Dr. Harvey W. Wiley belittled. It took a
brave man to be the father of pure food
legislation in thi acountry and his "pernic
ious activity" cost him his position. In 1909
he brought about the celebrated hearing on
"What Is Whisky 7" and later he fought
"the interests" concerning the adulteration of
foods, with unnatural preservatives, such as
boric and salicylic acids and benzoate of
oda. He believed that the housewife was
right and that good natural vinegar and
sugar were the more wholesome as preserva
tives and that the reason that the people
preferred the handiwork of their mothers,
rather than the grocery store, even if it did
spoil once in a while, was that the latter
took the short cut for commercial purposea
and that the work of the housewife was not
only more palatable but that a man had to
be in good health and with the stomach of
an oatrich to digest the other.
In the Spanish-American war, we heard
much of "embalmed meats" that is meats
that would keep all right in hot weather by
being converted into a kind of leather, but
they were "hell" on the stomachs of the
soldiei-d.
If you will notice the troops on the Mex
ican border now, you will see that that day is
past. What is the matter with those who
would make big profits that they must en
danger the liveB of those who fight their
battles? And send them flour as quinine aa
was done in the civil war.
Even a big pickle and preserve man ad
vertises now that he can do without chem
icals and If so that is the work of Dr.
Wiley.
It is this sort of thing that has brought
us face to face with prohibition in this
state. In 1908 there was a hearing before
the royal commission in England on dis
tilled alcoholic liquors and the same at
Washington in 1909. Being interested to get
at the facts of the hearing and failing to
get the book of the testimony from any
other source, I appealed to Dr. Wiley and
he sent me the only copy he had. It is a book
of some 1,800 pages, mostly in fine print,
and it has evidently been bought up and out
of circulation. In this country only chemists,
pharmacists, distillers and rectifying men
testified, but in England they went Into the
medical end ot ft also, with physicians on
the stand. There has never been a hearing
In this country on the manufacture of beer
oe wine or any other fermented liquors.
The following shows how Dr. Wiley feels
at present:
Washington, July 19, 1916. Dear Dr.
Wilkinson: I thank you for sending me
the .clipping of your picnic speech and
your letter of July 12.
I am glad to know that the work I did
or tried to do to secure pure beverages
of an alcoholic character Is appreciated.
I have only a few moments to answer
your letter and to say, that while I appre
ciate your courtesy I think you make a
mistake in opposing atate-wlde prohibition.
When 1 lost my fight for the purity of al
coholic beverages I realized that the only
alternative to save the people from the
woes of adulterated whisky, brandy, rum
and beer was universal prohibition. I
therefore am a moderate, consistent, but
determined advocate of nation-wide prohibi
tion. I am, very truly, H. W. WILEY.
I am sorry that I cannot agree with Dr.
Wiley, for it was only of the manufacture
that his great hearing dealt with, with here
and there medical testimony from the Eng
lish commission. It seems foolish to me
that I should be so radical in dealing with
a great provision of a natural law.
I believe that a proper legislature In this
state can make progress, where Washington
did not, rather than make the mistake this
fall of prohibition and then have us all re
gret later that we did not educate a legisla
ture up to see that It was up to it to do the
proper thing in this sovereign state. Such a
bill can be drafted.
GEORGE P. WILKINSON, H. D.
But Would Thla Solve It?
Omaha, July 24. To the Editor of The
Bee: The newspapers of the United States
have carried through many great reforms
by united effort; now let me suggest that,
owing to the shortage of print paper, if for
no other reason, the papers unite to clear
their pages of the brain debauching.
Insane pictures that have been disfiguring
their pages since Hearst first lowered the
standard of the newspapers of this country.
While you are about it you might also clean
out the d. f. syndicated articles that give
our intelligence the tired feeling.
Clean out and clear up the newspapers of
the United States.
A. A. T., An Old Subscriber.
No Rest for the Righteous.
Omaha, July 24. To the Editor of The
Bee: I arrived in Omaha last Saturday
evening and registered at a prominent hotel
on Sixteenth street, anticipating a good
night's rest, but instead sleep was out of the
question, as the night throughout was made
hideous by the riotous and obscene language
of drunken men and women on the street and
In passing autoa with cutouts open In many
eases.
A fitting climax occurred at 4:45 a. m.
Sunday, when two drunken men and two
women In like condition fought and used the
vilest language for twenty minutes at the in
tersection of Sixteenth and Davenport
streets.
This was witnessed by the guests of the
hotels and residents In the vicinity, who
were awakened, also, by many newsboys and
others, several hundred in all, and not a
policeman In evidence.
I have lived In Chicago for years and dur
ing its wicked period never saw or heard
anything to equal conditions here at present.
Unless conditions change materially the
undersigned will register at a Council Bluffs
hotel on next trip or take to the woods.
"Safety first." E. A. THURSTON.
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: A Minnesota
minister says a man is on the downward
path when he can no longer remember all
the ten commandments. Is it necessary for
a man to remember them In order to keep
them 7
Philadelphia Record: The application to
the churches of this centralizing tendency
In schools Is very directly promoted by the
Introduction of the automobile. The farm
family wishes to go out on Sunday for a
trip in the machine. A church within a mile
or two it no sort of a destination. But If
the church Is about thirty miles distant.
It it obvious that the spiritual needs and
the desire for recreation can be combined.
The family can have a spin of sixty miles
in going to church, and the old habit and
the new one flt together like hand and
glove. The Kansas idea is to get a church
about thirty miles away from everybody.
There are possibilities of large congrega.
tlont In that.
Baltimore American: The dead line in
the churches ranges about forty to forty-five
years of age, after which it is difficult for a
minister to receive a call, yet there needs
no argument to prove that in the case of
every other type of brain worker and of
every other class of administrator this age
Is the age of early maturity and of beat
serviee. Hence, the reflection it forced upon
the mind that the churches deliberately
eater to superficiality In ideal and effects
rather than striving for the building up of
the people In the manner they were cultured
by the ministry of the last generation.
There Is no reason, therefore, to have sur
prise at the flippancy with which the church
and its ministry are often spoken nor is
there occasion for surprise that ofttimes
there are heresy trials and other scandals
growing out from the reallshness of the
callow youths who in many instances affect
all wisdom and all knowledge and disdain the
landmarks that their fathers had set up.
Let the young man have his chance, hat
let the ehureh he foremost and sound doe
trine be preached.
FROM HERE AND THERE.
Oolf and This Life.
"Golf Is much like life." , 1
'In what way?"
- 'The worse you play the harder you try "
"True, but It's different. , too. In one
respect."
"What's that?"
"In golf 'he harder you try the worse you
get" Detroit Fiae Praia.
The nation that has the best teeth is the
Irish.
The first British warship "dreadnought'
was launched in 11
The allies, since the war began, have lost
a total of 698 ships.
The late Prof. Joachim was the possesor
of three genuine Strad violins.
The statues of more than fifty men and
women of fame adorn the parks, squares and
other public places in New York City.
The army quartermaster derives his title
from the fact that it is a part of his duty
to look after the quarters of the soldiers.
New York City consumes every day about
550,000,000 gallons of water, which is an
average of about 100 gallons for each in
habitant. Should Charles E. Hughes be elec ed in
November he will be our second president
of Welsh descent. Thomas Jefferson was
the first.
The oldest of the higher institutions of
learning In Canada is Kings university.
established by the ProteBtant Episcopal
church at Windsor, N. S., in 1789.
The United State Hay Fever association,
which is soon to hold its annual convention
at Bethlehem, N. H., was founded forty odd
years ago as the result of a joke.)
The mysterious sunspots, which have
worried astronomers through many atces,
are believed to be enormous holes or rents
in the gases called photosphere- that sur
round the sun. Local disturbances account
for these holes, much as a storm on earth
influences the formation and character of
clouds.
Although every man knows the size of
his hat, few are aware of how that size is
reckoned. According to the hat maker, the
familiar number inside the band ( as in
"size 7") relates in inches to one-half the
sum of the long and the short diameters
of the hat
TO THE HANDSOME MAN.
When you are roving In the park
Because the day is fine and fair,
A maiden you'll perhaps espy
Who seems inclined to stand and stare;
But you need not bo at all disturbed
You need not grin and gaze and gawk:
She isn't looking at you, John
She sees afar a sparrow hawk.
When you hike out a rural Inne
To gt a breath from off the clover!
Tho' you arc handsome, and your glass
Has told you bo, many times and over
If you should sea some hiking girls,
Stop, look your way, and make icmark,
Don't agitate yourself, youns man!
They have just espied a meadow-lark.
Suppose you are strutting up the Ave.,
Clad in your nifty suit and tie
We know you are qualified to charm
Are a target for each maiden's eye;
But should a maiden look your way
Don't blutili and bow that self-same
minute
There la a chance, young man. you know,
That Hhe sees beyond a purple linnet.
Omaha. Bayoll Ne Trele.
SUNNY GEMS.
The wife of a Chicago man returned home
one afternoon from quite an extended visit
In a neighboring city. Among tho first ques
tions put by her to her maid was:
"Have you noticed that my husband
minted me very much when I was away.
Elate?"
'Well" said Elsie, "I didn't notice It so
much at first, but yesterday he seemed to
be In despair." New York Times.
"All Is vanity. At least so says the
philosopher."
"I don't know about that," chimed in
the Plunkville sage, "but there is enough
of It to keep the drug stores doing a good
btznesa In complexion contraptions." Louis
ville Courier-Journal.
M.W.BIpM,
jW WF6 HAS ONE "JD THE
C0UW- SHOUlXr SHE WRITE
MEfeVEWWW?
VES IF YDU HWJBfT
TKIB rr BEfOREYoUU.
FWDtWriW? (NMAIL"
VEW INfrSWSSnNG!
"I notice you spoke to one of the two
women we met Just now, quite sharply."
"Oh, that was my wife."
"But your manner was so deferential to
the other one."
"Ah, but she's our cook." Baltimore
American.
"Have you formed an opinion in this
case?"
"Yes, sir."
"To what effect?"
"That the lady defendant isn't very good
looking."
"Talesman excused." Kansas City Jour
nal. "She talked to him just to let him know
she wasn't afraid ot old bachelors."
"Yes."
"And he talked to her Just to let her
know that he wasn't afraid of widows."
"Well?"
"Oh, they're married now." Boston
Transcript.
"Have you anything to say why sentence
should not be passed on you?" asked the
judge.
"Not a word. I made speeches the last
three times I was convicted and they didn't
seem to do any good." replied the prisoner.
Detroit Free Press,
Boston has just appropriated half a million
'Your wife used to take considerable In
terst In your gardening efforts."
"Yep."
"But I don't aee her In the garden with
you any more."
"She lost Interest when she found I
couldn't raise olives, or grapefruit or or
chids." Louisville Courier-Journal.
YOUNG WOMEN
MAY AVOID PAIN
Need Only Trust to Lydia E.
Pinkham'e Vegetable Com
pound, says Mrs. Kurtzweg.
Buffalo, N.Y. " My daughter, whose
picture is herewith, was much troubled
1W1U1 (mius lu ucr
back and sides every
month and they
would sometimes ba
so bad that it would
seem like acute in
flammation of soma
organ. She read
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in the newspapers
and tried Lydia E.
Pinkbam's Vege
table Compound.
She praises it highly as she has been
relieved of all these pains by its use.
All mothers should know of this remedy,
and all young girls who suffer should
try it "-Mrs. Matilda Kurtzwbo, 629
High St, Buffalo, N.Y.
Young women who are troubled with
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headache, dragging-down sensations,
fainting spells or indigestion, should
take Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
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remedy.
If yon know of any yonng wo
man who is sick and needs help
ful advice, ask her to write to the
Lydia E.Pinkham Medicine Co.,
Lynn, Mass. Only women will
receive her letter, and it will be
held in strictest confidence.
tiiii nun 1 11 itt in i in tin i
HlCKELpATE
ROAD
SUMMER TOURIST
TICKETS
Season and Variable Route.
Chicago to New York and
return $31.70
Chicago to Boston and re
turn 30.50
Chicago to Buffalo or Ni
agara Fall and return. . 18.35
And many other points.
Throe Train Daily From La Sail
Station.
OBSERVATION CAR TO
NEW YORK
Write A. B. B. Burrows,
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These benefits are particularly marked by women at
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Special Dfewtiam of Vain to Womm an with Ivory Bos
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ly to be really successful
