THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, JULY 24, 1916.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
ft:
FOUNDED BY EDWAKP K03EWATEK.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
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JUNE CIRCULATION.
57,957 Daily Sunday 52,877 ,
Dwtfht Williams, circulation manager of Tha Boa
Pabliehlnf eompany, being duly aworn. aaya that tha
average eireulation for tha month of June, Itlf, was
S7,ttt daily and 51.177 Sunday.
DWICHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
8ahecrlbo4 In my praaanee and awora to before ate
this Id day of July, isil.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Poblle.
Subeeribore having tha city temporarily
should have) Tha Baa mailed ta tham. Ad.
draaa will ba hanffwl of tea aa requested.
Poor old Bill Sulzerl Even the drys refuted
to do him honor. ' i -
Sympathetic friend of little navy advocate!
will please omit flowers.
Looks at it all the democrats had the call on
the political Kilkenny cat this time. .
Wonder if the San Francisco dynamiter was
indiginous or imported like the Lot Angeles
dynamiter, .
State pride forbids the thought that Senator
La Follette can wrest the continuous pennant
from William Vincent Allen.
Blood fends are multipling in Mexico. At the
present rate of progress Kentucky is in danger
of losing the gory pennant
The lightning changes In Wilionian policies
are not at all surprising In view of the urgent
necessity fdr political life belts.
Cost of living has advsnced $0 per cent in
Ireland. . Considering how neutral countries are
squeesed, the Emerald Isle gets off easy.'
The British blacklist of American business
houses is an interesting exhibit of John Bull in
the act of cutting off his note to spite hi face.
Warring nations show more zeal in piling up
gold than in conserving human life. Gold is
scarce and hard to get; life it plentiful and Cheap.
Efforts to land Jt land bank in .,, Omaha ' are
worth making if for no other reason than to re
veal the working condition of the McAdoo hammer:
' Not the least of the wondert of the season it
the failure of state house subordinates to join in
the grab game for six-year jobs, ' Hookworm or
the sleeping sickness?
The Russo-Japanese pact for future spoils
provoked i celebration at Tokio. Owing to press
ing engagements elsewhere the Russian celebra
tion is deferred, probably until Mongolia it ripe
for annexation. i i 1
Due precautions, no doubt, will be observed
during the remodeling lest a cobblestone or a
giasticutus from the city hall tower tumble on
the "Welcome Arch". Art at is art must be
preserved regardless of expense.
One factor in the 2-cent rate inquiry thould
not be lost in the avalanch of rate sheet figures.
It is the question whether the t income of lean
years made so by unsafe road conditions thould
be allowed in support of si public imposition in
fat years'1 -; '
The special matter In chancery who spent
two hard hours in auctioning the St. Louis &
San Francisco railroad it down lor a fee of $45,
000 or $50,000, ill the discretion , of the court.
Yet some people insist this great country of
ours has ceased to be a land of opportunity. .
"If you are all democrats " "Yes, yet," re
sponded the postmasters to Wilton's query.
Thereupon the happy family cheered and cheered
some piore until the rafters echoed with the pull
ing gloriea of the pie belt. There be other gas
tronomic wonders, but none spproaches political
pie as a genuine joy-maker.
People arid Events
Mt. Desert Island, Me., with ten mountain
peaks, four lakes and an area of 5,000 acres, is
the baby member of our national parks. Besides
its natural beauties, Mt Detert National park has
the unique charm of being a donation. ,
After forty-two years of separation from her
relatives, their whereabouts unknown to her,
Mrs. Gutta Chatfield of St. Joe, Mo,, has located
her brothers and sitters at Rock Island, 111,
When a child Mrs. Chatfield was kidnaped by an
aunt and lost all trace of her family.
"That's a Broadway hummer, sure enough,"
exclaimed a visitor who had been steered against
whistle renovator sipped from tall-stem glasses
in a New York booze palace. "It ticklet me to
the toes," he continued, as he reached for the
check "to cocktails, $1.35."' Then the visitor ex
perienced the second thrill chiefly one of envy
became he did not own the mint.
In a labor controversy in New York City,
one of the bosses, in reputing the assertion of a
witnesa that $822 a year were "starvation wages,"
said that "a good authority hat said a man can
live on 6 cents a day" The boss did not reply
and tell where it could be done, but doubtless he
had in mind the Samoan islands, where nobody
works except when shaking breadfruit off the
trees before dining. r r .
High honors are easy with the right push.
George F. Hoar, it it related, handled the Massa
chusetts delegation at the republican convention
of 1876 for William A Wheeler for vice presi
dent James R. Lowell balked. - Hoar took
' Iwell aside and whispered, "Wheeler is a aensi
bio traav Ha knows the 'Bigelow papers' by
i -art." Lowell became a Wheeler missionary at
t ..mt the doubters, "Wheeler is a very
t nun." The rest was easy.
Sin Francisco's Bomb Outrage.
The cowardly outrage at San Francisco, by
which innocent spectators and peaceful paraders
were killed and maimed by a bomb, is startling
to lovert of free government. It thows how im
possible it the tatk of regulating all mindt along
orderly lines. That the bomb was placed by a
fanatic teemi clear, for no person possetting all
hit faculties could commit to dattardly an act.
But that the culprit's mind had been unduly in
flamed by the disorderly and - irrational utter
ances of tospbox orators is equally plain. Free
dom of speech is priceless, and mutt not be
curbed, but itt abuse by the tpouters who habitu
ally inveigh against all authority calls for greater
attention than has been psid to it recently. A
really free country, whose government is of, for
and by the people, should not be a safe harbor
for the secret assassin nor the snarchittic bomb
thrower.
Poit-Bellum Tariffs and Trad Agreements.
How will the now neutral nations fare sfter
peace is restored to the world if plans discutted
by European politicians are carried into opera
tion f Germany and Austria are looking ahead
to the establishment of a ten-yesr "Ausgleieht,"
which mesns an exclusive understanding as to
tariffs and Unmeet. Agaimt this the Entente
Allies are undertaking a "Zollverein," to continue
indefinitely. Between thete two organizations
the reit of the world wilt be more tossed about
than' it hst been so far during actual warfare. Jt
is quite possible the politicians have' not given
the subject the study it warrants. It includes
such vast possibilities for economic harm as must
very nearly offset any advantage that would be
gained. .. . t, 'Ji ,: '.
' The object "of these moves,' naturally, is to
make the rest of the world at far as possible con
tribute to the rehabilitation of the countries ex
hautted by war, both In the way of meeting obli
gation! and restoring trade. The principal dan
ger liet in the likelihood that all other countries
will be drawn into one or the other of the camps
through operation of preferential duties or by
other means. This would mean a continuation
of the strife on economic linet, inevitably tending
to political conflict again.
' For the United States, which will be the only
considerable rival of either of the European pow
ers in the world's commerce, the situation is
peculiarly important At present Great Britain
and itt colonies are our post Important custo
mers, and from them we purchase more than
from any others. . In 1915 the totsl foreign trade
of the United States amounted to $5,326,100,000;
of thit enormous sum $2,310,700,000, or very
nearly half, was with the United Kingdom and
its colonies. The adoption of a prohibitive tariff
by Great Britain, or duties ditcriminating against
us, will be serious, but msy be offset to some ex
tent by protective laws.
While the foreign trade of this country has
resched a stupendous totsl, It is yet at least seven
timet tmaller than the aggregate of the volume
of domestic trade, the mott attractive market in
the world. Prudence dictate! that we begin be
fore the end of the war to take steps to protect
our home market, as. well ss our foreign trade,
so that we will not have to pay mora than our
legitimate' share oi the cott of the war in Europe.
V Lett Sawdust and Mors Substance. ..
The Democrat endorses The Omaha Bee's
demand for a short ballot, Will the esteemed
Bee reciprocste by joining the Democrat's de
mand for a short platform? York Democrat
. It't a got We never were much for the stump
speech platform. And varying the label by brand
ing it republican, democratic populist or bull
moose doesn't help it any. Let us have less taw
dust snd more substance in the platform concoc
tions and leave it to the spellbinders to elucidate
the details. ' ' '' .',
Putting Nations on Rations.
. Relations between Sweden and Great Brit
ain are coming to a point where "friendly" may
only be used in a conventional way in describing
them. Thit is an outcome of the admitted bias
of the Swedea for the Teutonic allies,' and the
frankness with which trading In contraband was
carried on during the earlier months of "the war
acrott the Baltic. In lieu of blockading portt of
neutral nations, Great Britain has put the Scan
dinavian nations on. "rations." Thia is by agree
ment with Norway and Denmark, and with
Sweden it accomplished by holding np all cargoes
destined to Swedish ports, no matter to whom
consigned. Great .Britain permits the entrsnce
of goods to the amount of normal requirements
for the twelve months preceding the war. Be
yond this the Scandinavian! get nothing. . From
Norway comes complaint that gasoline ii scarce,
and has been sold at high as 50 cents a quart.
Swederi it short of tires for automobiles, particu
larly for the kind that made the peace ship expedi
tion possible. It it odd, too, that the principal
speculation in foods in Sweden is carried on by
Germant, who laid in large supplies in the early
days of the war, and are now finding prices in
Stockholm and elsewhere considerably above
what their wares will bring in Berlin. The
Swedes are naturally irate over the treatment
accorded their shipping, and look to the United
States to make such protest aa will relieve the
situation, and re-establish the rights of neutrals
on the high seas.
"Rough sailing for the compromise home rule
bill" for Ireland is the prediction sent out from
London. , Any other 1 course would imply that
Tory England had changed its habits and re
formed. The number of implacables in England
is considerably larger than the implacables of Ire
land. If they pull together rough sailing is as
sured, but it is unlikely that sn uncompromising
minority can defeat the measure.
Another amendment to our state banking law
would evidently be in order to provide a way for
keep the deposit guaranty fund intact against
withdrawal or transfer by voluntarily liquidating
banks. ' Either that or it thould be made clear
that the guaranty fund doet not belong to the
ttate, but to the bank that carries it aa a book
keeping balance. - V
A campaign fund of $500,000 raised by the
national woman's party presents the perplexing
problem ss to the best mesns of spending it
Mere men's assistance is not sought. Still, the
promptings of gallantry suggest that the fall
offering! of ahop windows might' simplify tht
problem. ' - - ' . .,
Mr. Bryan doesn't want to volunteer hi home
state convention any advice and prospects are
fair that his advice wilt not be solicited. v
ITOIIAV
Thought Nugget for the Dsy.
Hope is tent to the unfortunate: fear hovera
around the head of the prosperous, for the scales
of fate are ever unsteady.
On Year Ago Today In the War.
Turkish and Arab troops defeated on the
Uuphrates in Mesopotamia.
Germans reported crushing victory over
czar's fifth army in Courland.
Trench fighting around Souchez only activ
ity reported on the wettern front
Germans said to have landed an army corps
st Libau to cut communication with Warsaw.
Thit Dsy in Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
Herman Kountze has subdivided a portion
of his elegant tract of land runing from Sherman
avenue to Saunders street, south of the driving
park. A portion of it has been divided into
lots which are being sold by T. S. Clsrkson, 219
South Fourteenth street, and which will be called
Kountze Place.
Rathbun & Daily of the Omaha Business col
lege have rented Crounie hall on Sixteenth and
Capitol avenue and they will fit these roomi up
to be equal to the best equipped schools in the
country.
Marhoff, the trunk man in the Millard hotel
block, is going around with a 4x9 smile, having
just received a fancy delivery wagon from Grat-
ton & Drummond, the carriage makers. The
rig is a "daisy" and Marhoff can now sell
trunks cheaper than ever.
Bernard Evers, one of the leading members
of the Plattdeutch verein, wss married at his
residence on West Cuming atreet, to Miss
Katie Schlapkohl. During the dancing later in
the evening one of the guests accidentally
struck the lamp with hit head cauting it to ex
plode. The flaming lamp was thrown out of
doors by S. Mohr before any damage waa done.
T. J. Reed, formerly manager of the carpet
department of Keltey & Simpsons of Atchison,
has accepted a position here with S. A Or
chard. Today in History.
1701 Cadillac and his followers commencld
the settlement of Detroit.
1798 John A. Dix, civil war commander and
fovernor of New York, born at Boscawon, N. H.
lied in New York City, April 21, 1879.
1838 Great reception and dinner given in
Faneuil hall, Boston, in honor of Daniel Web
ster. 1847 Salt Lake City was founded by Brig
ham Young and hit Mormon followers.
1860 Prince of Wales (King Edward VII.)
arrived at St. Johns, Newfoundland.
1862 Martin Van Buren, eighth president of
the United States, died at Kinderhook, N. Y.
Born there, December 5, 1782.
1873 First train passed through the Union
railroad tunnel in Baltimore.
' 1897 President McKinley signed the new
tariff act.
1915 More than 800 persons drowned when
the stesmer Eastland turned over at her pier
in the Chicago river.
Utah's Pioneer Day.
' As the day of general patriotic celebration,
the 24th of July is. second only to the "Glorious
Fourth" in the hearts of Utah's people. It was
on July 24, 1847, that the intrepid pioneer, suc
cessful colonizer snd, as the Mormons sincerely
believe,' inspired prophet, Brigham Young, en
tered Great Salt Lake valley in charge of the
advance company of the migrating hottt of Lat
ter Day Saints. The achievement may be well
commemorated in story and song. It waa the
advent of the conquering army of invasion into
the stronghold of the great American desert
In the spring of 1846 more than 1,000 wagons
of the Mormons were rolling westward, and the
line of march stretched from the Mississippi to
Council Bluffs. There were in the company not
half enough draft animals for the arduous jour
ney, and but an insufficient number of able
bodied men to tend the camps. Women had to
assitt in driving teamt and ttock, and in other
labort of the exodut. Nevertheless, with char
acteristic cheerfulness the people made the best,
and that proved to be a great deal, out of their
lot
A pioneer company preceded the main body.
Thit party, at originally constituted, comprised
144 men; a case of illness, which appeared at
the ttart, reduced the number by one. 1 Three
of the pioneer bands were accompanied by their
wivei, and with the women were two children,
making a total of 148 souls.. Wagons there were,
aa alto some horses, but all too few for the
journey; and many of the company walked the
full 1,000 miles across the great plains and for
bidding deserts.
After over three months journeying the pio
neer company reached the valley of the Great
Salt Lake; and at first sight Brigham Young
declared it to be the stopping place, the gather
ing center for the saints. But what was there in
viting in this desert spread out like a scorched
scroll, devoid of welcoming message and bare
but for the picture it presented, of wondrout
tcenic grandeur? From the Wasatch barrier the
colonists gazed upon a scene of intrancing
though forbidding beauty. An arid plain, rimmed
by mountains like a literal basin, still held the
salty dregs of what once had been an inland sea.
A more uninviting spot they had not passed in
all their journey. Could this be the promised land?
But the voice of the leader was heard: "The
very place," said Brigham Young; and in his
prophetic mind there rose a vision of what was
to come. He saw towns and cities, hamlets and
with the fairest of. all, a city whose beauty of
situation, whose wealth of resource should be
come known throughout the world, rising from
the most arid tite of the shimmering desert,
hard by the barren salt shores of the watery
waste. There in the very heart of the wilder
ness should stand the house of the Lord, with
other temples beyond the horizon of his gaze.
On the 24th of July, 1847, the main part of the
pioneer band entered the valley of the Great
Salt Lake, and that day of the year is observed
as a legal holiday, and a day of gladness and
thankful rejoicing in Utah. From that time to
the present the stream of immigration to these
valleys has never ceased. Dr. James E. Tal
mage. ';;v.
The Day We Celebrate.
N. P. Swanson, funeral director, is celebrating
his fifty-first birthday. He was born in Kund,
Sweden, coming to this country in 1884. He went
into the undertaking business here under the
firm name of Swanson & Valien, taking it over
himself in -1897. He served as county coroner
for two terms.
Nelson C. Pratt, lawyer, is 54 years old today.
He was born at Belleville, W. Va was educated
at the North Illinois college at Fulton, 111.,
began practicing law at Albion in 1889 and re
moved to Omaha in 1896.
Gates H. Rheam, secretary of the Nebraska
Bridge Supply and Lumber company, stsrted his
earthly excursion in Glenwood, la, just thirty
six years ago today. ft
Hcnrik Pontoppidan, celebrated Danish, au
thor and one of the Nobel prize winners of
1915, born at Frederieia, Denmark, 59 years ago
today. ',- fv'-'v . .
Ellen M. Stone, the American , miesionary
who waa kidnapped and held for ransom some
years ago by Macedonian brigands, born in Rox
bury, Mast., 70 years ago today.- , ; ,
William Gillette, one of America' belt known
actor and playayrighta, born at Hartford, Conn.,
61 years ago today.
A Typical IUsblka Cosrattsai.
Nail, NfltVt July IS ' To th Editor of
Th Beat Th eooTention of tho retrablleans
of Antolop county wm held yoitordmy nftor
luxm mt NtHth and ft wms mj privilega to
view It m in outrider. For thU rowon I
Ihoacht that yon might bt intemted In
nttldtr't report.
Tho outatandlnf footer of .tho proeoed
Into waa tho great antimtara crtnead br
all oTer tho qnoitfon of a republican anecen
at tha polli In NoTember. Optlmiam on thii
point waa nnbonaded and nnanlmova and
perfect harnonr existed in all tha delibera
tion. It waa indeed refreshing to attend
a eonventlon where these war tho dlstin
gnishing characteristics after the last four
years. Troly Hugh la the man as the satis
factory enthaslasm which hi nam roke
very time It is uttered clearly proves.
Tho eonventlon mad George N. Beymottf
of Elgin, who 1 on of th republican can
didate for regent, both temporary and per
manent ebairman. In his epaecn he gav
th democrata credit for knowing a good
thing when they saw it v nthough they
were not able to originate It. He claimed
that they had adopted their main planks from
tha republican and that if Mr. Wilson had
advocate dtariff commission and prepared
ness four years ago fa would have been
called a republican.
Aft rth routine busin waa over the
convention gav Mr. Seymour a rousing and
hearty endorsement for hi candidacy for
regent In bta response he spoke very feel
ingly of his great faith in the splendid fu
ture that la before tha university. He said:
"I hv no panacea to offer for any troubles
that may now or hereafter confront thia In
stitution. Th university la the greatest
thing tha state has. It is a unit, and if I
were to be placed in the favorable position of
regent I would have no Idea of advocating
any revolutionary ideas, but rather to render
what constructive service I could In th
same manner I have been trying to do in th
county where I have lived the last thirty
year. I would not be th advocate of any
one school or department, but rather would
aeek th upbuilding of the school as a
whole."
His remarks mad a hit with th dele
gates and they cheered him heartily, and
th delegate went home feeling sur of
th success of tha ticket both national and
tat.
It was a great pleasure to ma to see
auch enthusiasm manifested and it augurs
well for us republicans. And by tha way
I waa told that the democrats held a con
vention last week there and had fifty, on
half of thos present today.
M. A. HYDE.
Lincoln, Nob.
Must Draw th Lin Somewhere.
Omaha, July JV To the Editor of The
Beet Replying to D. B.'s arraignment of our
opinion on tho one-piece bathing suit, It Is
singular that she should think that w had
chosen her as the brilliant solitaire, when
w wouldn't know her from Eve without a
formal Introduction. Her elf-eonciousness,
however. Is the obstacle that prevents semi
nude pacing in public becoming a popular
pastime on beaches whsr regulation Is en
forced. W don ot deny that awimmlng 1 a
healthful rcls for everybody and free
dom of motion essential to piscatorial frolic
Yet we can see no reason why a gang of
aelf-conseloua females, who hav no Inten
tion of getting their toes wet should run
amuck In a costume that denies th health
ful privilege of a sneese.
Pura-mindadnes would net only he a
solution to the above, but many other things.
But whan folks get too far ahead of the
procvsalon In this age they often take them
selves too seriously. We are not so delicate
that we regard buttons as suggestive, but
believe us, virtue can become a vie when
allowed to run wild.
Nyada, Just do th Narcissus stunt Take
a good, long look at yourself In a mirror
and than put some clothes on,
LYNN G LYMAN.
Say Farmers Den't Want Education,
- Bennett, Neb., July 22. To the Editor of
The Be! I have Just read an article in The
Be entitled, "Education and Farming.' It
la a fair sample of the "guff that some of
thos city wis guys are so fond of hand
ing out to tho farmer. It is a remarkable
thing that our hankers, merchants, editors,
tc, many of whom could not milk a cow
or rale a hill of corn If it were to nave
their souls, and who are is ignorant of the
conditions of farm life and its problems as
thay ere of tha lif on the planet of Mars,
fee .that they know th very key to the
farmer' success or failure. If we should
pretend to tell any of thos "swell heads"
how to conduct his business more success
fully h would tell us, and very properly,
that we did not know what we were talking
bout, and to attend to our own affairs. This
la not a new deal at all. More than 100
years ago a fellow over In Europe said,
"Blessed I sthe man who can make two ears
of corn grow Instead of one.' Than the wis
guys who fanned with their mouths or
fountain pens and sat around London club3,
said among other things, now let th farm
ers and their families get to work and prac
tice more Intensive farming and e very th inn
will boom. A hundred years has passed and
aver and continuously history repeats Itself,
except those wise guys have Increased a hun
dred and fifty thousand fold and talk more
malignantly than ever, If possible.
T. KEEVAN,
EDITORIAL SIFTINGS.
Philadelphia Ledger: The president signed
th rural credits bill "with real emotion."
What will hie feelings be If h baa a chance
to sign th chipping bill T
Boston Transcript! The Hon.' James Hay
of Virginia is a firm foe of preparedness
except when It comes ,to picking out for
himself a nlc federal life Job. 1
Washington Post: Our Idea of a success
ful real estate agent la on who, If we
should acquire Lower California, would im
mediately get busy-extolling It climate. '
- Indianapolis New : The fall style are on
exhibition, and the girls say that they arc
scrumptious. But don't let that worry you.
You'll b permitted to wear your last year'
furnae glove, Just aa you expected to.
Baltimore American: Th old maxim that
la nevr too late to learn, ha received a
stiking an dvery unusual Illustration at a
California college where a woman of 8ft has
been enrolled aa a student. She may not
hav many years In which to us th knwl
edge sh I anxious to obtain, but her x
ampl ought to mean many valuable years
to others hi th stimulating example of her
energy and determination.
Springfield Republican: At th beginning
of tha war th experts said that it could
not b kept up long because of th stupend
ous eost, which for all th belligerent eount
tries together they estimated at from $40,
000,009 to $00,000,000 a day. Great Britain
began th war en a basts of 16,000,000 a
day; last year Mr. Asquith gav warning
that It would soon reach 920,000,000. But
recently Mr. MeKenna, ehanoellor of th
exchequer stated that th present cost' to
Britain la 100,000,000 a day, and that no
body could estimate what th coat might be
In another month. ' Thus England alone ta
paying from half to three-fourtha aa much
aa th Initial estimate of th ntir daily
oat of th war, yet ther I no talk of
pae.
AROUND THE CITIES. "
Chicago new city directory eaxriee th
names of 0,086 lawyer.
Dow Yorkers practice another kind f
r-Piadn- Bight thousand private ciU
ena have taken out permits to carry con
cealed weapona.
Contract hav been let for tha construe
tloa of PhUadelphia'a convention hall on
tha Parkway site between Twenty-first and
Twenty-second street. It will coat 14,000,
000 and aat 15,000 people. ;
Mayor Green of Xaaaaa City, Kan., credits
aommlaalon government with revolutionis
ing tha anaaclal condition of tha city. For
thirteen yeara prior to 1010 the city went
rate debt an average of 01 ,000 a year.
In th six yaara af ocnm.eaie. govertuaeat
more than 1100,000 a year of it old debts
have been paid.
Machinery is In motion for a new charter
for Philadelphia. The moving power la made
up of representatives of civil, commercial
and political bodies. A complete overhaul
ing of the present archaic city government
1 foreshadowed.
Kansaa City's Adamless park Is drawing
some business, but is considered a mighty
lonesome spot, patronised chiefly by bach
elor maid and suffragettes. Bom boys,
spurred by curiosity, occasionally look over
th park deadline, but mere man, moved to
pity, stay away.
Dos Moines authorities are pushing a cam
paign for "a spotless town. An ordinance
passed by unanimous vote make H a mis
demeanor for person to deposit ta the
streets or aileye "any object that might
engender offensive odors or causa unsani
tary conditions." Penalty 16 to 9100.
Bt Louis sports an institution named th
complaint board, which hears and acts on
th various brands of kleko registered
against the city government Ita efficiency
is conceded officially. Mayor Kiel reports
that each kick made to th board coats th
city 929.77, which proves that kicks profit
somebody.
TopekV city attorney, Gorg P. Hayaen,
proposes to go to the mat with tha fire in
surance rate fixers. Recant improvements
in the fir dapartmant and water service,
as Mr. Hayden views th situation, deserves
reciprocal action on th part of Insurance
man, and h proposes to start something in
ks ti. benefits are split Th local repre
sentative of th fir underwriters comes
back with tha statement that th city must
largely increase fir prevention measures or
present Insurance rates will go up a notch
or two. Th issue la clear, th mat ready
and th eity 1 eager for th bout to begin.
LAUGHING GAS.
"Hallo, Newedd, why o somber?
"Say, old man, I've made a very painful
discovery. My wife oan't alng."
"Painful T Why, man, you are to be con
gratud." s
"Alas, no! You ace she thinks she can."
Boston Transcript.
Aladdin waa exhibiting his wonderful
lamp.
"It's an auto lamp," he explained, "that
won t go out Just as a traffic cop heavea
In sight.' Pittsburgh Poat.
1'Of course, you believe in telling the com
plete truth?"
"Oh, yea," replied Miss Cayenne. "I also
recognise that there may bo exigencies In
which a eertaln degree of canaorahlp la re
quired." Washington Star.
Father What do you hav that little
dude running after you for? I hope you
don't think him the real thing?" .
Daughter No, father; not the real thing;
only what you'd call the chaser. Yonkers
Statesman.
WtttMKS SMSHSfStSOS
1ST WM A tor OF mtst.
WUlf'tUSEUBE (M?
36
1ES -MMBE THE fCC
S3E -wp&ttft
"The janitor of this apartment house la
a woman," remarked the agent.
"Fine," said the man who had Juat signed
a lease. "Now, maybe, I'll get a chance to
see the sporting page of my morning paper
once In a while." Indlanapolla Newa. ,
"Now, aee here," said th lawyer, "before
I take your caae I want to know If you'r
guilty."
"Am I guilty?" replied the prisoner. "Wot
d'yer s'posa? Dat I'd hire da moat expen
sive lawyer In town if I wua Innocent?"
Judge,
"Whaf the matter with your finger,
Babbe, that you've got It bandaged all the
way up?"
"They're not' bandage. They're string
to remind me of all my wlfe'a commissions
to bring home tojjjght ' BaJiMmora Aoiori
ean. .,,.,
"I suppose, Jimmy, you hav brought,
something good horn with you for aup
Per." "No, aunty; what did you 'expect me
to bring home?"
"Why, I heard Mis Pert aay whenever
you went rowing, you were alway .catch
ing crab.' Baltimore American.
"Did you ever make a start on that
automobile you Intended to buy?'
"In a amall way, only. We've laid In
a thermos bottle, which my wife eays
will be a great convenleoo on our long
tours If we ever get an automobile."
Puck. 1
"Tou and your alster are twins, are you
not?"
"We were In childhood. Now, however,
she la five years younger than I." Puck.
Grace I don't know, whether to like
that young Englishman or not he says
he hasn't a "car" in the worlddoes he
mean "care" or m he quite perfectly im
possible? Puck.
RILEY IS PASSING.
BTO.L MDSOV.
Oh, the old troubadour ha laid down th
broken lute,
For hie eyes are growing dreamy and th
singing lips are mute;
For the stream of song and laughter that
ao sweetly used to, roll,
It has dwindled down and perished like
the old swimming hole;
And the soul of Wfattcomb BUy teems to
faintly flutter by; '
"Like the ghost of a . daisy, dropped out
of th sky"
Por we loved hie homely rhyming by Us
rustle grammar- marred,
"And Us hard to part forevar" with the
old Hoosler bard.
Por Riley now la passing; he has folded up
his ecrolU
And he'll sing no more in rapture of thi
old swimming hoi;
"Where the bullrushes grow, and the cat
tails ao tall,
And th sunshln and shadow fell over It
i all''
For th sunshln of hi lif ta a red glow
In the West,
And th old Hoosler poof h la lying down
to rest, ,
And little orphan Annie, with th teardropi
In her eyes,
Is standing like an angel o'er the cot where
. Riley lies.
The voice of Riley, singing of the land "
of long ago '
Sounded like the laugh of something that
we once used to know;" ,
For It took us back to childhood Xb the
attic trundle bed,
"Arid we could almost hear the locust
blossoms dropping on the shed."
"Again we made the journey down the old
dusty lan,"
"Where the tracks of our bare feet were'
printed all so plain,"
"And the merry days of youth" breathed
an Incense 'round the soul,
When he aang hie sweetest number to th
old Swimming hole.
Oh, the old Hoosler bard, when he turned
the "pipes o' Pan,"
Ha wove a golden glory 'round the ragged
hired man;
And the farm waa an enchantment, where
the deareat dreams would flonk.
"When the frost was on the pumpkin and
the foder In the shock."
He set to words and music every humble
task and chore.
And revealed the sleeping beauties we had
to tin'
awe too deen for tears.
And the simple songs of Riley journey
with us through the years.
We go "back to Grlggsby station, where tht
people all were poor,"
Tot a wealth of "pinks and hollyhocks were
growing round each door;"
And "outfto old Aunt Mary'a" there was
never ending fun,
And oookleo made of cinnamon and many
a buttered buni
And the hired man so "raggedy" that fed
the "wobbly calf,"
And told the funny tale that made ths
little children laugh.
Though th Riley ryhmea were common-
place, they nursed th spark divine,
And this passing Hoosler poet was "and
Id sweetheart of mine."
"But them days Is passed and gone, and
Old Tlme'a tuck his toll,'
"From th old man" that wrote- of the
old swimming hole;
And "llttl orphan Annie" la a grown-up
now, no doubt
"For th goblin, Age. "will gat us If we
don't watch out;"
And the "happy little cripple, who had
curVture of the spine."
Ia looking down from heaven with an
angel form divine.
And waiting for the singer who 'Would
trip to his son
"And plunge off m his grav. like th
. . old swimming hoi."
"Out Into th afterwhlles" the sands of
. life have run, .
Th dreamer and the endless dream are
merging Into one; .
But the picture he limn ad, all the years
can never blot, ,
Though his void diving log, It lies sunk
and forgot;"
Btlll the scene on th crock hank will never
grow dim.
Though no more will th "shade of the
A trsMtj tthaltaif- him '
For Riley Is passing, and "our tears in
sorrow roll"
Like the rain that used to dapple up the
old swimming hoi." ,
never seen before:
He touched our hearts to tenderness and
There b But One
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The trade-mark "Aspirin" (Res:....
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