THE BEE: OMAHA. SATURDAY, JULY 22, 1916.
THE OMAHA' DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD KOSEWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR
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, JUNE CIRCULATION. x
' 57,957 Daily Sunday 52,877
Dwiaht William,, circulation manafer af Tha Baa
Fubliibin, eompanjr, bain, dulr .worn, eara that tha
arena, elreulation for the month of Jane, lilt, waa
17,1(7 dailr and (2,177 Sunday.
DWIOHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manolcr.
abeerlbed In ay praamaa and awora to before ma
thla Id day of July, ins.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Pablle.
' Subecribera leavlnf 4k. city t.rapor.rlly
- stuM hara The Bm mailed to thara. Ad.
clraee will ba chanf acl aa oftaa aa raqu.etae.
If the postmasters whom the president has
commissioned were not enthuiiastic (or re
electing him, he would indeed be in a bad way.
II Mr. Bryan will continue with his computa
tions based on returns of April primaries, he will
figure Nebraska in the republican column liy up
wards of 20,000 majority. i ,
The high price Of paper should stimulate anew
efforts to find a process to convert corn stalks
: into paper pulp. ' With that achieved, the corn
belt states would solve the paper-makers' prob
' lent. ,.
. Having bluffed Carranza to a standstill with
proffers of munitions and financial assistance, the
- administration fearlessly grants asylum to Cipri
ano Castro, exclaiming the ' while, "Who's
afraid?" . .
Having set the example with their "demo-pop"
fusions all 'these years, the democrats are in a
' poor position to object to any kind of a ballot
combination between republicans and progres
sive-partyltes. '
a m eee . ! ' "
While the city proposes to put $70,000 into
, fire-fighting equipment in 1917, In addition to
this year's outlay, fire insurance beneficiaries
show no desire to take the elevator for the floor
below. All is wheat that comes to the Insurance
mill ' ,
- i ,
' Why, yes, the toul collections of three public
service utilities In Omaha for three months aggre-
gate up in the millions, but so do the total col
f lections in Omaha for dry goods or groceries or
i automobiles, to say nothing of taxes, for the same
months. No growing city without growing buai
ness ill around! .. - -
: The Women' Christian Temperance union is
' going to send a consignment of grape juice to
the thirsty boys on the border. Now, it other
i friends of the soldier would counter with an equal
number of' cases whose content foam when
poured out, we might have a real "wet" and "dry"
referendum down there.
- - Did, you observe the notice about directing
, mail intended for Nebraska soldier boys on the
border to certain Texas poitoffice "only a few
f miles east of the camp," with the further explana
'; tion that "as yet no postoffice haa been author
lied for tlano Grand and it may be several weeks
before an office is established here?" There's some
more democratic preparedness for you I .
Omaha'i effort to secure the location of one
of the new federal land banka is again to bump
up against the competition of Lincoln backed by
' Mr. Bryan, reproducing the same situation that
sent the federal reserve bank to Kansas City,
leaving both Omaha and Lincoln out in the cold,
But, Mr. Bryan is now only ex-secretary of state
instead of secretary of state, which may make a
difference.
An Anti-Gossip Crusade
Literary Dlffeet, -
"Blacklisting" Business Firms.
One of the features of modern warfare that
will interest folks who think that battles are car
ried on exclusively with lethal agencies is the
blacklisting of enemy business, wherever it may
be found. This means of stifling the life of an
opponent is as legitimate, perhaps, as dropping
bombs on peaceful villages, blowing up merchant
men, or asphyxiating trench defenders, but it sug
gests a refinement of war to which the world is
not yet quite accustomed. Great Britain is in a
commanding position for the practice of this
sort of offensive movement, because of its wide
spread domination of the markets of the world,
and appears to be determined to enforce the ad
vantage to the utmost. Victims of this interna
tional boycott will have to submit with whatever
grace they may summon to support them, but
may feel sure that persistence in the practice will
result eventually in the arrayal of such interests
as may bring about a readjustment by which neu
trals may do business without consulting Britan-
A young girl recently killed herself in an Eng
! lisb village. The coroner's jury, however, brought
in the verdict: "Killed by idle gossip." The girl
- had been guilty of nothing actually wrong, but
"the gossip disseminated by the women of the vil
: lage blackened her .name until she could bear the
' suspicious looks and spoken taunts no longer, and
so she ended her life. The event caused an anti-
fossip crusade, an account of which appears in
earson's Weekly (London) i
' "A aucietv haa been formed and rules drawn
up. the entrance fee has been fixed at a nominal
. sum, because the society desired to embrace all
classes, both rich ana poor, uur ricner women
are iust as adeot at robbing others of their char
acter as are the women of the working classes
who chat with each other from their respective
'door-steps, v '
"Members must take a vow to avoid either
starting or spreading any unkind remarks about
any one else, nor will they listen to a person who
tries to tell them. To repeat what they have
heard, even if known to be true, is equally aa bad
as to set the ball rolling. For the first ten breaches
of this law a fine is imposed, graduating from a
hilling up to the maximum fine of 10 shillings.
After ten slips the women are to be blackballed
as mcurabiea. , .
"If we oick no mud and throw it at a fash
ionably dressed lady and spoil her clothes she can
get redress through the law; no well-brought-up
woman, however, ever dreams of throwing mud at
her frienda. r ,
"If, on the other hand, we imagine that she is
' too flighty in her behavior, and, in order to
strengthen our belief, we repeat all her trivial
. little indiscreet actions, we are flinging mud at
her character, and ahe can get no redreaa unless
. it should happen to interfere with the earning of
her livelihood, or can be proved a malicious act
"Idle gossip does more harm' than anything
else in the world, and if the organizers of the anti
gossip crusade have only the perseverance and
courage to make it universal they will do .in
estimable good for the general happiness of the
eommunitv. - . '..
"Before making a statement about any one do
not lorgcf id icf k paai inc inrcc goiaen gates
; it true? 'Is it needful P and 'Is it kind? -'
"These form the motto of the anti-gossip cru
"Drys" as Adepts in Politics.
Thoughtless persons, who have carelessly
classified the prohibitionists as possessed of a
single idea, and without the worldly experience
needed to ssfely guide them, may learn some
thing by following the course of the convention
at St, Paul. Proceedings there have demon
strated the ability of the delegates as adroit
politicians. The effort of the self-constituted
leaders to railroad a prepared platform through
the gathering is an example. The followers of
the camel quickly headed this off and in other
ways have shown themselves adepts at the work
of gently manipulating things, so that they come
to pass with the appearance of "just happening.
The presence of "Old Bill" Sulzer in pursuit of
the -nomination didn't seriously affect the
cinch of Frank Hanly on adding the honor to his
other chautalking qualifications. The whole
proceedings are edifying, because they show the
progress made by the "drys" In "practical"
methods of politics. - '
Preparedness Idea Makes Advance.
' The decision of Leland Stanford university
to include military training among the require
ments of education at that school shows how
the thought of getting ready for national de
fense Is malting headway. Dr. David Starr Jor
dan, president emeritus of this university, is one
of the leadera of the movement against mili
tarism. The action of the university authorities,
therefore, may be interpreted as acceptance of
the fact that readiness does not include the in
tention to make war, Every recent experience
of the United States has , shown how sadly our
country is situated as regards this most vital ele
ment of national life. Even the National Guard,
on which reliance was placed for the first line
of defense, has been exposed in its weakness.
Necessity for training , for military , service is
mnch better understood now than a few months
go, and will be more generally adopted. Train
ing at school is one alternative to universal serv
ice. It may not prove entirely sufficient to meet
requirements, , but it is in the right direction.
Our national neglect is. being partly compen
sated, for by a volunteer movement, ind public
interest is strengthened a knowledge of national
needs becomes more general. The thought of
training to serve the nation aa. a soldier is not
so repugnant as it was a short time back.
: . What U Being Held Up?
Again the "watchful , waiting" president at
Washington admits that he is holding back
aomething in connection with the Mexican situa
tion. A note, delivered at Washington over a
week ago, is just given out at the City of Mexico,
its contents suggesting a plan for settlement.
The Mexican de facto authorities announce that
the compact between them and the United States,
for an adjustment of differences, ia complete.
Silence prevails at Washington, beyond the tardy
admission that the note received here ia similar
but not identical in its terms with that given out
in Mexico. If the president has reached an
agreement with the Carraniistas, looking to an
immediate and peaceful settlement, the people
ought to know something of its terms. If Car-
ransa feels free to publish it, why should Mr.
Wilson hesitate? Is it possible that the de facto
first chief has "put one over" and maneuvered
our president into a still deeper hole? What is
being held back?
No Reflection on Any Labor Organization.
' Alt the hoboes,: ruffians and petty criminals
arrested nowadays assume to be members of the
I. W. W., or are classed as such whether they
.same tc be or not, and no pruof ia exacted to
support the title. But, even the devil should
have his due, and the I. W. W., odious and dis
credited as it is wjth many people, should not be
loaded down with, any more sins than belong to
it. If the professional hoboes thought they
would get off easier by masquerading as Y. M.
C A's. or Salvation ArmyistS, or by any other
name, they would alip the trick just as fast. So
remember that by far in most of the cases I. W.
W. is merely a convenient cover for the ordinary
genus tramp who wanta to make a living off the
community without giving any return in work
and has nothing whatever to do with any body
of organised labor, much less with any real trade
union of wage-earning mechanics.
unnAV
Thought Nugget for tht Day.
Depend upon it, the interest! of classes too
area tUntira ! till it IS Otllv
UllKII e, villi Riiu ev a.aaa -f ; --
ignorance which prevents their uniting for each
other's advantage. Prince Albert.
One Year Ago Today in the War.
Berlin reported progress in the German ad
vance toward Riga.
Terrible massacres of Armenians by Turks
reported. .
French occupied the summit of the Linge
dominating the Fecht valley in the Vosges, north
of Muenster.
. Russians hard pressed around Warsaw, but
appeared to have checked the Germans on the
west and north.
This Day in Omaha Thirty Years Ago.
Articles of incorporation of the Marion En
terprise company have been filed with the county
clerk. The capital is $50,000 and the incorporators
are L. D. Finney, H. H. Bollard, Samuel Reese,
Irving Allisori and Thomas F. Tuttle.
The Milburn Wagon company and the Moline
Plow company, who have purchased grounds for
a mammoth warehouse in Omaha, have formed a
stock company, entitled "The Moline Milburn &
Stoddard Co.," with a cash capital of $100,000. G.
A. Stephen, secretary, and F. G. Allen, treasurer,
are resident agents of the company.
The Merchants' Protective agency has passed
into the hands of J. E. Newman, who for the last
eight years haa been employed in the general
freight office of the B. & M.
The Omaha Oil and Drug Gazette has been
transferred from the H. T. Clarke Drug company
to Messrs. Cotter & Daubach. O. M. Olson has
been engaged as associate editor. '
mesa mjmnt aa
A Candid Testimonial
We speak of these things now because of the
. fact, and it ia a fact, that here in Nebraska
Suite a respectable number of former working
emocratl show an inclination to support Jui
tice Hughes for president.
This quotation ia from the editorial columns
of the Columbus Telegram, whose chief pen
pusher, Edgar Howard, is running for lieutenant
governor as the nominee of the democrats in our
recent Nebraska primary so that his testimony
may be considered as reluctantly given and there
fore to much more dependable, . At the campaign
progresses, the already "respectable number, of
former working democrats" with an inclination to
aupport Hughes for president will be steadily in
creasing and where the hard-pressed democrata
will look for recruits to offset the defection is
hard to say. While most of the democrat organs
re lest candid than ia Edgar Howard, this en
couragement from the enemy's camp is not un
welcome to republicans all along the line.
According to Duma reports, Russia' reward
for ,lts part in the war is to be control of both
sides of the Dardanelles. This bargain implies
the elimination of the Turk from Constantino
ple. Who will deliver the goods ia a little detail
omitted.
Telephone No. 826 has been placed in the office
of Building Inspector Whitlock.
County Treasurer Henry Bolln is suffering
from a severe sunstroke which he received while
going from Fort Calhoun to Omaha.
State Senator Metz has gone (o Grand Island.
Mrs. Taggart is visiting her daughter, Mrs.
J. H. McShane. .
This Day in History.
1812 British and Allies, under the duke of
Wellington, totally defeated the French near Sala
manca, Spain.
1841 Amherst college conferred the degree of
LL. D. on John Tyler, president of the United
States.
1852--A law prohibiting the sale of liquor in
Boston went into effect.
1869 John A. Roebling, designer of the
Brooklyn bridge, died in Brooklyn. Born in Prus
sia, June 12, 1806.
1870 Prussians blew up Kehl bridge, the first
act of the Franco-Prussian war.
1878 The earl of Beaconsfield was invested
with the Order of the Garter by Queen Victoria.
; 1880 Abdul Rahman Kahn was formally
recognized as ameer of Afghanistan. :
1891 Prince of Naples (now king of Italy)
visited Queen Victoria in London.
1896 George W. Jones, first United States
senator from Iowa, died at Dubuque, Ia. Born at
Vincennes, Ind., April 12, 1804.
1897 A statue of General John A Logan was"
unveiled in Lake Front park, Chicago.
. 1899 Elihu Root became secretary of war,
succeeding Russell A. Alger.
1908 Prince of Wales (now King George V)
arrived at Quebec for the tercentenary celebra
tion. , v 1
This It the Day Wt Celebrate. "'' ,
E. J. McVann of the traffic bureau of the Com
mercial club waa born July 22, 1869 at Medina,
N. Y. He was educated at Creighton university,
going into the railroad business with successful
promotion. i .
Bishop John C. Kilgo of the Methodist Epis
copal church, aouth, born at Laurens, S. C, fifty
five years ago today.
Ulysses S. Grant, jr., son of the late President
Grant, born at Bethel, O., sixty-four years ago
today, '
Joseph L. Bristow, former United States sena
tor from Kansas, born in Wolfe county, Ky.,
fifty-five years agij today.
James Speyer, head of the New York banking
firm that bears his name, born in New York City;
fifty-five years ago today.
George Gibson, catcher of the Pittsburgh Na
tional league base ball team, born at London,
Ont., thirty-six yeara ago today. .
Elmer Knetzer, pitcher for the Cincinnati Na
tional league base ball team, born at Carrick, Pa.,
twenty-eight years ago today. ,
Where They AU Are Now.
George N. Peek, former manager of the John
Deere Plow company here, is now one of the
executive officers at the home headquartera in
Rock Island.
Gerrit Fort is still with the Union Pacific,
only higher up, as director passenger traffic, with
Chicago as his location.
Adolph Huberman, son of the pioneer Omaha
jeweler, at last account, waa steward of a Pull
man dining ear.
John Halligan, a former Omaha attorney, is
practicing law at North Platte, where they call
him "ludM."
Ben Cotton, star performer in Ak-Sar-Ben's
troupe so many times, is manager of the Jackson
rancn in aomn xsaauia.
Timely Jotting and Reminder.
A soirited aession is expected when the pro.
fressive state committee of New York meets at
yracuse today to consider the future course of
the party.
San Francisco and the neighboring cities are
to join in the holding of a great preparedness
narade todav.
The Summer School for Sunday School Work
ers, founded by the late Dwight L. Moody at East
Northfield, Mass., will begin ita annual session
today. '
Governor Willis is announced as the principal
speaker at a celebration to be held today by mine
operators and miners at the village of Gloster,
near Athens, O., to mark the resumption of work
in the mines after a long period of idleness.
Tevaa ftmnrrnte. in a venaral nrimarv tier.
tion today, will choose candidates for United
States senator, representing in 'congress, gov'
nor and other state officers and members of the
state legislature. At the same time a vote is to
be taken on the question of resubmission of a
state-wiae proniDiiion amendment' to ine consir
tution'. Public interest centers chiefly in the sena
torial contest, in which Senator Culberson ia op
posed for renomination by a field that Includes
former Governor Tom Campbell, former Gover
nor Oscar B. Colquitt, Congressman R. L. Henry
and several other democrats ot prominence.
Story-ette of the Day. ,
' When a man just naturally wants trouble it is
mighty easy to find an excuse for making it. Ac
cording to Mike Hogan, Casey and O Brien were
havinsi an arsument of their own at Breckinridge
street and Barrett avenue. It had progressed to
the extent that each had forgotten what it was
about .originally and they were wholly oblivious
OI me gatncririB cnjwu uniu an uruaiic anu gen
teel person in frock coat put in.
. "Come. come, my man," he said, gently pluck
ing Casey . by the sleeve. "You don't want to
fight; I can tell it by your looks. Your face is
too benign . .
"Two be nine I Two be nine, is ut, ye scut?"
bellowed Casey. "Me face is two be nine is utf
. And there was where the real trouble began.
Louisville Times, , -;. . ...
' 7t a
1 Alcohol ant. SowkoloM Powtfer.
Omaha. Jul 11. To th Editor of Th
Bm: Mr. A. L. Merer hu now invaded tbt
Ltttor Box; ho la a clover writer, but illogi
cal, at oil men mutt be who defend a bad
cau. He hat diteoverod that alcohol la
used In makinc amokeleaa powder and Jumpa
to the conclusion that if the manufaoturt
ot liquor ia prohibited, no mora amokeleaa
powder can be made! What a misfortune !
The Japa would be on na inetanter'and we
ahould find oartelves aa unprepared aa Rua-
ia and Great Britain wero at the betin-
nina; of the present warl
The joker la in the word "Hqnor" a word
of wide algnlflcance anything- In a liquid
ttate. But, aa popularly uaed especially in
the prohibition campaign it meana intoxi
cating beverag-ea and nothing; elaa. Proof
epirlt whliky ahould contain 40 per cent
of alcohol, whfcfa it rarely doea, beeauae
water la cheaper than alcohol. Winea and
beera are touch lower In their percentage
of alcohol.
Now, aa It takea pure alcohol to make
amokeleaa powder, even proof whisky would
be poor tuff for that purpoaa, Bealdea thla,
prohibition doea not propose to aboliah tha
manufacture of alcohol for medicinal, me
chanical and artistic purposes. For these
purposes the manufacture of alcohol may
go on undisturbed, after the manufacture of
alcohol for drinking purposes liquor hat
been abolished. It la not true, therefore.
that .to aboliah the manufacture of liquor,
abolishes the manufacture of amokeleaa
powder.
Mr. Meyer can make all the wood-spirit
and denatured alcohol he wanta to, without
paying revenue:1 put up a powder plant;
convert It Into amokeleaa powder, after Ne
braska la ae dry aa a powder-horn, and be
ready for the Japa or any other nation that
darca to attack us.
No. no, Mr. Meyer, you can't throw dust
Into people'a eyes in that way, nor awaken
their fears by raising a false issue. Smoke
leas powder haa eome to stay and so haa
prohibition. D. C. JOHN.
EDITORIAL SIFTJNGS.
Pittsburgh Dispatch t It'a a pretty poor
apeedway that doesn't furnish a fatality aa
a feature of a championship motor race.
Washington Star: Some of the beat road
records of the season are being made by
American aviators walking back.
Louisville Courier-Journal i Although
there are numerous devlcea positively guar
anteed to reduce your consumption of gaso
line from 20 to 60 per cent, the surest way
la to put a padlock on the front door of the
garage and drop the key In the well.
Chicago Herald: Just aa everybody
reachea the conclusion there la no 1 more
cheap land In the country the government
pulls another on of these Indian reserva
tion drawings. Thia time it'a the Colville
Indian reservation.
Springfield Republican: "A gold mine of
unwritten American history," the John R.
McLean lettera were called the other day
during the legal battle to enjoin their publi
cation in order to auppreaa acandala. The
gold doea not seem to be 100 per cent pure.
New york World: Both partlea In con
tress are now in such a hurry to adjourn
that the opportunity for those who profit by
loose legislation will be very favorable.
When most people are In a hurry at Wash
ington, the fellows who are on the job day
and night, year In and year out, ind thtnga
very much to their liking.
Philadelphia Record: A a freight carrier
the Deutschland ia a disappointment. Ac
cording to the latest reports she brought
only S80 tons of dyes tuffs, an amount too
small to be of any great benefit to American
dyers. Whether this small cargo la due to
limitations of space or to other causes doea
not appear. At any rate, It la safe to be
lieve that that great fleet of submarine
merchantmen, capitalised at 1100,000,000,
or aome such figures, will not material lie
very rapidly.
TIP8 ON HOME TOPICS.
In the last aeventeen montha, the invent
eourt of St Joe, Mo., Investigated 4,784
eases, moat of them settled out of court,
Brooklyn Eagle: If Mexico could develop
one Cervantea ahe would be saved. The
sense of humor Is the sena of the ever
lasting perspective of thlnga.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: Th president thinks
the democratic party a good one for the pro
gressives to join, but most of them have
gone back to their old love already. '
Chicago Herald i The better outlook In the
Mexican altuation la doubtless partly due to
the fact that It la extremely hard to keep
a crisis alive and active during th warm
weather.
Wall Street Journal: "There are hundreds
of men In America walking around the
streets who are dead but have not yet been
buried." Vice President Marshall. Oh, well,
they can't all be vie presidents.
Wood county, the heart of th dairying
district of northern and cenertl Wisconsin,
has the largest round barn in the world. Th
building is ISO feet in diameter. It covert
anarea of a little more than one-third of an
acre.
Baltimore American: With Indignant Iowa
aoldiera parading in their underwear aa a
protest against the excessively large meas
urements by which they were cut, the spirit
of 1770 aeesna to take peculiar form of ex
pression in the west.
Springfield Republican: Tranquility on th
border come vary hard Indeed on aome em
ployers who had expected to pay salaries In
absentia to aoldiera, not to watchful waiters.
Still, th militia are not to blame if they
are not shooting and getting shot, and they
too are "doing their bit," quit aa much aa
If th country waa at war.
Th National Woman Suffrage association
will hold ita annual convention at Atlantic
City, September 4-10. Inclusive, This la
thro months earlier than usual, hut th
association la breaking th precedent in order
to make ita work for the federal amendment
more effective than could otherwise be don
wre th convention held In December, as
It was last year.
St. Joseph Osteite: Nebraska la making
the pathway of the Industrial Workers of the
World incrcaaingly eheerleaa. Omaha haa
taken the lead, and member of the organi
sation who refuse to work are being jailed
without ado from the police. Th offer of
employment 1 always made, always de
clined.. Then the shortest route to a cell
Is the journey taken by the Industrial Work
ers of the World. Other towns of that state
are following Omaha's lead.
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
Washington Peat: Our ancestors war
pious folks, but It la remarkable how - well
preserved most old family Bibles are.
Houston Poat: A Louisville minister says
the youth' motto should be, ; "Never give
up. That 1 good advice If the boy is striv
ing after aomething good, but vno minister
wanta to tell a young fellow that when thd
plat la being passed In church. -
Philadelphia Record: The substitution of
the automobil for th horse and buggy haa
not only destroyed what little reason then
was for trying to get a church next door to
everybody, but It has created a reason for
moving th ehureh away to a considerable,
distance. It was a pastor In one of th
suburb of Philadelphia who remarked sadly
that every new automobile In the community
meant en mere empty pew. Th practice
of spending Sunday in th automobil haa de
pleted th congregations.
New York World t Th University of St
Andrew, Scotland, ha offered a prise of
I&00 for th beat essay on prayer thai
reaches th university before June ft, 1017,
A length of from 4,000 to 0,000 words I
suggested, but no limit it fixed. The idea la
a novel on and peculiarly characteristic of
aa ag in which It haa com generally to be
regarded that th iudicoua a of money can
accomplish almost anything. Possibly a great
essay on prayer may be the result of thla
unique competition; but th religious master
ptcee of the past were not produced after
thla fashion Bt AugustinV "City of God,'
Tha A. Kemp!' "Imitation of Christ,
th works of St. Francis of Assist, Jeremy
Taylor's "Holy Living and Holy Dying," Bax
ter's "Saint's Rest," Bunyan' "Pilgrim'
Progress," and many others that might be
Included. Such work are th result of holy
living and aspiration aa remote a possibl
from thought of worldly train,,
SAID IN FUN. '
"Amnnar whst ! rlo Van think It WOUld
be beat to float a submarine loan.
"1 auppoae It wouldn't do, but It aeema
Ilk they ought to try th aubmorged tenth.
Baltimore American.
Did tha onnoaltlen make anr scurrilous
attack on your husband'a private Ufa when
i waa running xpr oincoT"
lfv husband haa no orlvat life. He a
never at home." Puck.
MR KABIBBliv
0 W MEN MAaWE WW.
OiWB WN6S
TV 1
ID FICfHT AMD AtfiO 100 '
FAT10 RUN!
u fin oar (with a re-nutation) Doctor,
T fear my husband's mind la affected. I
there any sure tent?
Doc lor Tell mm, mat you 11 nv
to hlra again. If he laughs, he'i sane.
Boston Transcript.
My cook left me without notice."
You appear surprised."
"I am."
'Mow loner have you been employing
cocks?" Ptttabuigh Post.
Tou sav. old Bill Bottletop la out strong
for prohibition."
"Yflp. He says he's uaed to it now and
doesn't want it changed. After getting ac
customed to bootleg and apeak-easy con
coctlona. he can't get any action at all out
of rgular Ticker." Washington Star.
Politician I have nothing to Bay. All I
know Is what la in the papers.
Reporter I see now what you meant yes
terday when you aald there la nothing In th
papera nowadays. Puck.
An Irishman waa seated In a railway car
riage next to a very pompous-loo king man,
with whom he commenced a conversation
in a rather free and eaey manner. At length
the Domnoua one said. "Mr sood man. re
serve your conversation' for one ot your own
equals. I would have you know that I am
a K. C." The Irishman jumped up and held
out hla hand. "Begorry, aVake!" he ex
claimed. K'lm a Caaey meaelf." Boaton
Transcript '
"We usually spend three montha at our
cottage In the country. Would you be will
ing to go with uh?" . . . .
"No, mum, I would not With good help
aa acarce as it ia In the city, I think I'd
prefer working for somebody else and keep
ing close to the moving picture ahowa."
Detroit Free Preaa.
"Getting warm, Wombat."
"Vry."
"Why don't you buy a straw hat V
"I'm waiting to get the lowest price. And
they never seem to striK ootiom. gusi Keep ,
coming down." Louisville Courier Journal. ,
t Bacon Almanacs are In existence that
were compiled In the eleventh century, but
they are In manuscript.
gfrbert That lets th Joke-writer ont who
eys his Jokea never were printed before.
Tonkers Statesman.
ON ACCOUNT OF THE WAR.
New York Sun.
John Brown cannot pay the money he owe,
"On account of the war,"
The cook wanta ten dollar a week, ar ah
goes.
"On account of the war."
THe baker reduces the weight of hla bread.
The butcher sends ateaka that could muster
as lead,
The tailor's wool aulta are of ahoddy ln
atead,
"On account of the war."
Th tinner can't patch up my roof wher
It leaks,
"On account of the war."
The car that I bought will not com for six
weeks,
"On account of th war.
The cost of my shoes mounts each tlm
that I buy,
The price on drugs ar prodigiously high.
But when I demur I receive the reply,
"On account of the war."
And what can I do when they airily any.
"On account of the war 7
What else can I do but obligingly pay,
"On account of the war?
Tet often I wonder what some folke will da
When all of the world with It warfare la
through, , , .
And they can no longer pass by in revtaw,
"On account of the warl
1513-1513 SffftK HOWARD ST "J
Will Save You Money ThefcS A Reason
Tha laat ear .1 Porch Furniture we will have thla aeaaaa la ,otaf rapidly al
our .very da law prkea Get them before you buy.
The kind of Porch Rock
era that look well all sum
mer on the porch and may
be moved inside for the
living room when summer
is over. Reed Fibre, in soft
brown finish; never stains
the clothing, the reeds
never break. There is yet
in stock many of the best
designs of this pretty
porch furniture. Price $4.85
A limited number of the big roll arm and $1 95
uava x uvuvi up v . . - - - - - - -
A few of the nifty square back and broad
arm rockers, at. . ..,'.. ... .
Straight Chair to Match . . . ; ; . .'.v.
The Shell Back Comfortable Rocker,
like illustration, at.
Straight Chair to match. ..... .
Four styles ; very large, high back fibre rock- C QJ
ers; very deep seat, at,
A few Fibre Reed Swings, in 4, 5 and 6 foot
lengths yet left.
A fumed oak swing, 4-foot, complete with M 7C
chains and hooks.
,Your Opportunity is'NOW to get your needs in this
excellent porch furniture. :
$2.75
....$2.75
. $4.85
. . .$4.85
.T"rkocnizq) by Thousands
1. 1. a. la today On Wortd'i Standard
Blend Purifier a reputation rained by
Its nwB merit as Natare'a tree aaelah
ant la neoaMfol treatment ot blood dla-
Your own blood may be eellinc
la fiahtlnf mom fortn at blood
Oat a bottle ot 1.1.1 today
and Moat the poaatbUtty at a Ion, aebre
ef bodily dlecom tart
Iwtfl InKlflO t.
mm in enc
aaaaa. '
II tor beta i
Km. dlaaaaa-i
Q sis i.- rtl-
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how good advertising may be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really successful.
