THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, JUNE 12, 1916.
THE OMAHA DAILY , BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD R03EWATKR,
VICTOR ROBE WATER, EDITOR.
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MAY CIRCULATION. ;
57,852 Daily -Siiiday 52,748
Dwight Wttllame, elraolatlea manager of The Bee
PublUhiag eonpsay, setoff duly swera, laye that the
venae etamlatlea for the month of May, 110, wag
7.M1 daily and lt,14l Sunday.
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Subscribed la mw pretense and sworn to before bm
ale 3d day of Jane, 1010.
, ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Fsblle.
Subscriber! ' leaving -the city temporarily
should have the Bee mailed to them. Ad
dress will be chanced ei often a requested.
Still, it must be admitted that Chicago put up
a great show for the money.
The steering committees did their best, but
could not deliver the goods. ,
' Follow the flag on Flag day. Whither it leads
there safety and honor lies,
, Colonel Bryan regrets that Colonel Roosevelt
deserted a band of - loyal followers. Colonel
Bryan always led his to defeat
Events justified the prophecy that the dele
.. gates could not be stampeded. They knew what
' they wanted and how to get it. ,
v ' .. Critics of the flag and what it stands for
.., doubtless derive courage from the fact that ac
i commodations at asylums are limited.
A lot of democrats get small consolation out
of the way the Chicago convention wound up.
They'll have even less as the days go on. ,
Match Justice Hughes' expressions against
those of any responsible man in public life, and
see if they lack In warmth or definiteness.
After all, the custom of burning church mort
gages is peculiarly appropriate. A thing which
keeps a house warm deserves a hot finish.
, Kicking on Chicago's convention prices it a
waste of energy. A spirit of thankfulness In
being permitted to take home their clothes more
befits delegates and visitors.
Peace and neutrality are impressive figures of
speech, but they stand a alim chance of com
manding respect during a presidential campaign.
Now for Si Louis and the ratification.
No good reason now exists why all the pro
gressives should not come back into the repub
lican party, when even the colonel finds the way
open and the prospects pleasing. It's a good
season for getting together.
' The exalted righteousness of the progressive
convention fell short of the expectations of the
, dry belt This was unavoidable, however. Even
a super-man could not land a dry njank in a Chi-
cago deluge. i
The president is using his own trusty type'
. writer in preparing the St Louis platform, not
even taking chances on his cabinet, let alone
former member. His experience with the Balti
more platform has well taught him what to leave
. out. , i
. Considering the invaluable favors bestowed
by the administration on the Carranxa govern'
- ment, its inaction in the presence of anti-Ameri
can demonstration smacks of . base ingratitude.
With the stage all set, for renomination, and
thrills xf party approval ready to be touched off,
' , the rising ill-temper e( the Mexicans is not only
j innoying, but peculiarly reprehensible.
After a painful stretch of lean months,' ex
area campanies 'are marching with old-time
tipor to the favorite melon patch. ' During the
sight months ending with February, net profits
if $6,691,000 poured into the companies' treas
uries. In the light of these figures the applies'
tion for a raise of rates in Nebraska must be
Massed as a contribution to the gsyety of the
ieason.
Thirty Years Ago
This Day in Omaha
Ceamllsd Frees Bee FOes. '
Hughes Breaks Hi Silence.
Justice Hughes' telegram to the Chicago re
publican convention', accepting the nqmination
for president, is sufficient answer to those who
have called into question his position on the most
vital of the questions today before the people,
that of Americanism. His words are temperate,
but of such earnestness as will carry conviction
that here is an American' whose purpose will not
be misunderstood. His criticism of the course o.
the administration in its foreign policy . is not
that of a partisan,, but of a citiien who keenly
feels the humiliation that has come to Americans
by reason of the weakness of. the president and
his cabinet. The charge that politics was put be
fore patriotism, that party interest had the first
call over public interest, and that meddling has
ended in muddling will sum up democratic ac
complishment in the State department." In this
Mr. Bryan must share with Mr. Wilson, his
resignation not serving to fully exculpate him as
a principal. A
To the re-establishment of American prestige
at home and abroad, peace with honor, and the
dignity of a great nation upheld, the republican
party is devoted, and its nominee for the presi
dency has declared himself so unreservedly and
unequivocally in harmony with this purpose of
he party that his stand is not again likely to be
brought into question. Mr. Hughe will doubt
less discuss other issues as the campaign pro
gresses, but the world knows now where he stands
as an American.
The marriage of Richard Downey and Miss
McNamara, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Thomas
McNamara, occurred at the church of the Holy
Family at the corner of Eighteenth and Izard
Streets. Rev. R. A. Shaffel officiatina. The full
choir of the church was present, consisting of
Mesdames McShane, Bethge, Creighton, Burk-
nara and Messrs. f rand, Harry Burkley and John
Baumer. The groom was attended by Jeremiah
Mulvihill and the bride bv Miss Ella Kenneriv.
Dr. C. M. Crowell, one of the most promising
of our young physicians, was married to Miss
Lillian Elvins of Hammerton. N. I.
Inspectors Spangler and Brown of the postal
department have gone to Blair to investigate the
2 circumstances ot tne postouice robbery.
Samuel R. Johnson has sold Block A in Reser.
voir addition to Omaha for $24,000. The transfer
has been made to Norman Kuhn as trustee. The
following gentlemen are also interested in the
deal: John H. Hurlbut, James A. Beverly, John
H. Dumont, Allan Whinnery, Charles D. Wood-
worth, Isaac Groshell, C. B. Sherman and W. O.
. bridges.
- the Hotel ana Keal estate Kecord is now
under the management of Frank aweesy and John
Ultver. - .":- , . , ...
1 Prioe Maintenance Bill.
The merry war raging between manufactur
ing interests and leagued retailers on the ques
tion of price maintenance legislation by congress
enters a new and interesting stage. Two years
of aggressive agitation and national-wide propa
ganda tinder the auspices of the American Fair
Trade league served to center attention, on the
proposed legislation known as the Stephens bilL
Under its , provisions manufacturers of trade
marked or special brand articles may dictate the
price at which such goods shall be sold at retail.
In trade circlet, where price maintenance holds
favor, the principle of the bill secured endorse
ment and support. Some retailers regarded the
bill as a)ughandle affair. It gave manufacturer
great power over retailers, obligating "them to
obey price orders regardless of local conditions
or needs. Active opposition manifested itself
through the National Retail Dry Goods associa
tion, which vigorously assailed the open and con
cealed objects of the measure.
At this stage of the vocal ' battle Senator
Borah presented a measure designed to protect
manufacturer and retailer and give the forgotten
consumer a fighting chance for his money. It
legalise price maintenance under specified con
ditions, provides for federal license and intro
duces federal price regulation in these words:
The Federal Trade eemmltslen msy, en Its own
Initiative, or shall apoa a petition In writing by a eltlasn
tied with sueh eemmliilon, ts and establish a fair and
reasonable prise at which any article coming under the
terms of this aet shall be sold, and 'shall ter thnt pur
pose nave eeeeee to ell records, boohs, papers, accounts,
secret processes and formulas of the proprietor, menu
fecturer or producer of such article which csid commie
slen shall desm neeeeesry In order to enable it to fla end
establish such price i that a price once txed and ectab
1 lasts shall net be .raised or lacreeccd so to do i that any
one Increasing the price ever that txed by the eommlccloa
chall be punished by a tne of not more than S1.SS0 or
taprleesied net less than tlx months, or both each tne
and imprisonment,. tJ
The sweeping character of the power pro
posed to be vested in the trade commission must
seriously embarrass manufacturers and chill en
thusiasm for the original Stephens bill. Object
ing retailers, on the other hand, appear .more
than satisfied with the outcome of their strategy
and the Insinuating come-back of the Borah
Joker." -
' Ending tht Coroner. ;
Judge Day of. the Douglas county district
court has held that the law abolishing the office
of coroner with the end of the term of the pres
ent incumbent is a good one, constitutional and
valid. This decision will be approved by all save
the coroner himself, who brought the suit in hope
of overturning the law and perpetuating himself
in an office that has been found to be useless. In
ancient times the coroner, perhaps, was a neces
sary adjunct of government and necessary to the
proper administration of the law. Development
of the machinery of government, and especially
of the law, has reached t point where the office is
no longer of service, and may even become a
hindrance in he solving of questions that come
within its scope. The county attorney and the
sheriff are the officer who properly should per
form the function now allotted to the corner, and
after the first of January next they will. This is
one more step-in the direction of more efficient
government 1 ': f ' .
CaiTuus, Blustering; Again.
Mexican matter have been (lightly neglected
by the public for several days, because of more
important business elsewhere, but the trouble
across the Rio Grande ia likely to be given some
serious attention almost any time now. The Car
ranzistas are supporting their demand for the
withdrawal of American troops' in true bandit
fashion. While guilty of no overt act, and
friendly enough on tht surface, the de facto gov
ernment is at least cognizant of if not actually
an accessory to anti-American agitation that if
left unchecked may prove serious. President
Wilson is understood to have tentatively sug
gested mediation, although this ha not officially
been promulgated. Carranza ha met the tug
gestion with his customary bluster, and with no
sign of willingness to assist in bringing the af
fairs of Mexico to a settlement. Mr. Wilson
should advise his friend that he would better not
push his people too far in their renewed offenses
against Americans. Mediation would be a great
deal better for all hands than intervention.
Telephone wire tapping by the police of New
York appears to hsve been more extended than
.the public suspected. The Allied Printing Trades'
council formally charge the police. with listening
in on it headquarters wire and giving tht m
formation .so obtained to unfriendly emptoyers.
While a local court sustained the practice at a
proper exercise of police power for the "pre'
vention and detection of crime," it it tlready
apparent that the power must be rigidly re
stricted lest it grow into a gross invasion of
public and private rights. .
The southern delegate will continue a factor
in republican conventions, but the day of his
power is gone. Henceforth the state which pro
vide republican strength- will, dominate party
councils.- ; : . ' "i :
The Bullmoosers in Action
r timer Smith.
Here are the observations of a Nebraska boy
after a visit to the progressive national conven
tion:
The Drosressives ooened their session with a
series of roars and adjourned because George W.
Perkins wanted them to and the delegates were
beginning to get hungry. During most of the
session there were several speakers trying to
lead the party at the same time, and Chairman
Kobins had a hard time to maintain any sem
blance of order. Massachusetts delegates started
the part with "It won't stop rain in till we nomi
nate Teddy," which struck a popular chord with
the rain-soaked crowd. New York struck the
keynote of the sentiment with a banner pro
claimed, "New York Wants Roosevelt and Wants
Him Right Away. This proved to be the senti
ment which Chairman Robins, Perkins, Garfield,
and the more conservative leaders had trouble
in holding in check all the afternoon.
We Wont Take Hughes was the burden of
the shout set bo by the Illinois delegation and
echoed by most of the rest of the house.
me oaid performers in the eallerv had Door
luck with their songs even when aided by good
sized megaphones sid the band for the conven
tion had plenty of music of its own. The Georgia
delegation got a hearing on a song in which "his
mothers home rhymed with him alone
(probably they wrote the song with his and
"him" capitalized).
The confirmation of committee reports on
credentials, and permanent organization went
through without a hitch, but when James R. Gar
field introduced the conference resolution the
trouble began, tnd continued in increasing
volume until McLaughlin of Michigan advised
the convention to tell the republican party to go
to hell and do it now," and thereby earned a
rebuke from the chair for unparliamentary lan
guage. -
Contrasting with the banner proclaiming "We
Don't Want Any More Judges or Professors,"
Albert Bushnell Hart, the noted historian,
doubted thst there could be any harmony and
stated that he and the Massachusetts delegation
were from Missouri as well as from Massa
chusetts, i
When the resolution finally passed after about
two hours of frantic debate the committee on
resolutions was ready to report. The platform
as drafted received general approval, but a fight
on the suffrage plank, developed under the lead
ership ot Henry J. Alien. It was ruled out as
out of order, but forecasted trouble for the final
adoption on the morrow.
Mr. Perkins was greeted with a sea of wav
ing flags, but his Speech aroused little enthusiasm
and not until Chairman Robin advocated ad
journment wu there an enthusiastic response.
men came tne amusing part ot the per
formance. Although the convention had ad
journed, it reconsidered the motion, and passed
the resolution empowering the chair to appoint
a conference committee, when the news came of
favorable action by the republican convention on
a conference resolution.
The night session was noisv but good natured.
and the hope was generally expressed that the
conference would result in harmony, though
many of the delegates (till expect to nominate
Roosevelt
Raymond Robins was the dominant factor of
the second session of the progressive convention.
His personality dominated the turbulent
of the delegates. He dominated both George W.
reruns ana victor Murdock, who led opposing
faction. He was able to turn the tide toward
possible compromise and away from the head
long nomination of Theodore Roosevelt, not by
his ability at an orator and keynoter, nofby his
power as a parliamentarian, but because he re
fused to cut off debate; and because he said "I
want to do what is right"
' The Auditorium held a crowd very different
from that in the Coliseum. It had a bigger pro
portion of red heads. There were more men
with sandy whiskers and with hoarse throats. It
was a volatile crowd, prone to follow the leader,
whoever he might -be. The same hands waved
flags,' the same voices that shouted approval
when Garfield and Pinchot presented the con
ference resolution also applauded. Murdock
when he opposed the resolution and cheered Mc
Laughlin when he advised the convention to
"tell the republicans to go to hell and do it now."
Oratory and epigrams were at 4 premium. The
delegates wanted to believe what they heard, and
opinion swayed back and forth. Raymond Rob
ins put his motions at the psychological moments
and carried the convention with him because
they believed he was doing what was right.
An old-time political observer ' remsrtrrH
"They are like the "pops' only1 more so." They
are more so. The progressive convention is
more like a camp meeting than a deliberative
body. They are worshippers of their "Tedrtv"
and they follow him with blind devotion. It re
quired the leadership of Raymond Robins to
even temporarily divert them from their head
long rush to a nomination irrespective of plat
form, proceeding, or policy. The question is can
and will Robins continue to hold down the lid
and give the conference report a chance.
Twice Told Tales
Hit American Name.
A somewhat unpatriotic little son of Italv.
12 years old, came to his teacher in the public
i , , . . , , a i. . 1 . i
scnooi ana bskcu ii ne couia not nave nis name
changed.
"Why do you wnt to change your name?"
the teacher asked. ,
"I want to be an American. I live in America
now."
"What American name would you like to
have?" .
I "I have it here," he said, handing the teacher
a dirty scrap of paper on which was written
"fatnek Dennis McCarty. Chicago News.
No Precaution Neglected.
The little son of a clergyman recently ap-
. I i r . . ... . . . i .
pesreo, at prcaaiast witn uistinct eviaences ot a
nastily made toilet.
"Why, Edmund," his mother remonstrated, "I
believe you forgot to brush your hair!"
"I was in such a hurry to get to school," he
explained.
"I hope you didn't forget to say your pray
ers?" she asked anxiously.
"No, sireel" was the emfbatic assurance;
mat s one tning i never forget Safety first I"
Harper's Magazine. , .
People and Events
The auto killing record of Philadelohia. Hear
ing 400 in five months, caused the issuance of
orders to the police to arrest all violators of
speed tnd traffic regulations. Officers are for
bidden to accept excuses and are required to
march offenders to the nearest station. 1
Thirty-one years ago Julia R. Sneden of New
York inherited $300,000. The pile was too much
for her mind and she retired involuntarily to an
asylum. A faithful trustee managed the fortune
so well that it now amounts to $800,000. The
trustee drew a salary of $4,000 a year and
earned it.
The New York woman who is auinsr s five
times millionaire for breach of promise, fixing
ner damages at ai,uuu,uuu, claims sne lost out on
another wealthy man because she thought the
first one the better catch and staved bv him until
shaken. Evidently the fair plaintiff neglected to
give pniiosopnicai tnougnt to Mrs. Beck s ceie
bratcd list of "dont's." . .
Jiutict Baldwin Enters DUcl4mr.
Omtvhn, June 10. To th Editor of The
Bee: Mr -tuntion hai been nlltd to the
article in The Bee of June 9, in which At
torney McCuire for the Welfare board ie
quoted as vaying: "The jOitice eourti if
thii city are a blot upon our eivilitatlon."
As I am on of the justice of the peace of
this city, I bet the space in your esteemed
paper to make a brief reply to nia charge,
insofar as it may be construed as applying
to my conrU 1 have too much respect for
myself to be accused of being; "a blot upon
our civilisation." If Mr. McGutre is a gen
tleman worthy of the position which he
holds, I shall expect him to qualify hi
statements or show wherein I have ever eon
ducted my court so as to be "a blot upon
our civilisation."
Mr. MeGuire hat never been in my court
but one time, and at that time he expressed
himself as well pleased with my judgment
and tQilng. He knows nothing of the busi
ness transactions in my court, neither doe,
he know my method of conducting business.
Those who come before me recognize the
fact that they are In a court room, and that
I am the judge. I do not handle, and never
have handled, any collection agen business.
It 's a well known fact that I am opposed
to the accumulation of coats for either rich
or poor to pay. In fact. I have often re
mitted my nav in cases. The wage earner
and the poor know me too well to say that
try court is "a blot upon our civilisation.
Be honest and fair, Mr. McGmre; speak
the truth and shame the devil.
ARTHUR E. BALDWIN,
Kelley'a Side of the Case.
Omaha, June 9. To the Editor of The
Bee: I notice in your paper an article cap
tioned "Justice Courts Blot Upon City' and
a statement made by Mr. MeGuire.
As the Kelley Mercantile agency was
brought Into this case, I fed! in justice to
ourselves in connection with this matter to
make reply. First it might be well to give
a little history of this case.
On the 24th day of April. .913. Mary
Rots purchased merchandise to the extent of
114.60 and paid $7 on account, as stated,
leaving a balance of I7.S0. The creditors
used their best efforts from the date ot pur
chase up to the 81st of January. 191. cov
ertiitr a period of about eight mouths, en
deavoring to collect the balance.
On the id day of January, 1916, this
claim was placod with us for collection. On
the 13th day of January Mr. and Mrs, Ross
were duly notified by letter of the claim,
with request to make settlement Time from
the Sd to the llth of January was spent in
locating the debtor. No response to this let
ter, and a second demand was made on the
19th of January, with no response. On the
26th day of January further notice was
given these people. On the 2d of February
a fourth and on the 17th of February a fifth
letter was written and a stamped envelope
enclosed for a reply as to whether they did
or did not owe the bill. All of these letters
had our return card on them and we feel
absolutely certain that each and every one
of them was delivered, as the Postoffice de
partment returned none of them to us.
Not being able to get any response from
letters and demands, en the 1st day of
March, 1910, suit was instituted la the jus
tice court of C. H. Kubat. Summons was
served in the case and these people notified
to make their appearance on the 10th of
March, 1916. They paid no more heed to
this than they did to the previous letters.
and on the 10th of March. 1916, judgment
was entered by default for 17.60. On the
22d day of March we sent them further no
tice notifying them of the judgment and If
they did not make arrangements for settle
ment garnishment proceedings would be in
stituted. No response was made to this and
on the llth day of May there was a garnish
ment Issued. After this srarnishmant had
been lodged with the employer, and trie judg
ment debtor's money stopped, was the first
time they ever made an appearance at our
office, which was on the third day of June,
1916.
Now' wo wish to ask In the name of rea
son and In the, name of law and justice tf
theae people have not received absolutely
fair treatment If they would have responded
to any of our communications arrangements
could have been made to have settled tM
account at whatever small paymeVt per week
or per month these people could have af
forded to pay.
Relative to the expense attached to the
collection In the form of court costs, if this
bill had been $76 instead of $7.60 the costs
would have been the same, and nothing
thought about It
IWe believe we are correctly Informed when
we state that the costs would, have been
more in the same ease if the naners had
issued from the municipal court or the county
court.
Lastly, we wish to call attention to the
cUisens of this community that their good
money Is paying the Welfare board big sal
aries, and the eommunity at large should be
benefitted by their acts, and we wish to take
this particular ease from another angle, and
cite another record to prove that these peo
ple could have paid for clothing and necessi
ties for their family If their funds had been
applied in the proper manner, and we do not
feel that the Welfare board Is justified in
condemning anybody and protecting people
who. according- to a ruling of the juvenile
court of this county on the 14th day of Feb
ruary. 1916. found that Camilla Ross and
nary noes, bis wife, were consumers of too
much liquor and not fit custodians of their
children, who were committed to the Deten
tion home.
It would seem that the Welfare board
snouid represent the real Interests of the
community and lay the blame of some of
the misery and sorrow where it belongs In
stead of condemning Innocent third parties,
who have merely done their duty in as gentle
a way as couio do under the circumstances,
A. R. KELLEY,
Good Roads Bob da.
Florence, Neb.. June 9. To the Editor of
The Bee: It is with deep regret that I note
oy tne dally press that the real estate n
of Omaha have appointed a committee to
start injunction proceedings against our good
roads bonds proposition. Wish to state very
frankly that in my opinion this la absolutely
uncalled for. I would suggest however, that
a committee be appointed to keep in close
touch with the doings of our county board,
and if they make a boble in not furnishing
good material for said roads or ia any way
enter into a graft campaign with brick manu
facturers or eontraetors. then, in that a
let your Real Estate exchange aet along a
line of serving an injunction. In other words,
keep a club over their bead, and I deem this
will be sufficient and we will have our good
roads. There seems to he many a nigger In
the woodpile In regard to this good roads
proposition, vis.: First, the automobile club
thought it had a finger In the pie and started
the proposition to rolling, after which the
commissioners would not meet their require
ments; then the Real Estate exchanea Ak.
jeets to the whole business, but in any event
let's have our good roads. Let the bonds go
the way they are. The people have voted
for them and are entitled to the good roads.
However, on the other hand, as above stated,
all that Is necessary is 'to threaten Injunc
tion when our commissioners do not do the
ngnt wing and any etvic omniiatfati la .
titled to representation to Investigate what
is going on tn the matter.
C. L. NETHAWAY.
Atwut VotintT.
Omaha, June 10. To the Editor of The
Beet In order to settle a dispute and for
uie information or myself and other voters,
I wish you would tell us whethed It is necea.
sary to vote for the full number nf nrfi.
dates where several are to be elected, as. for
uiaunec. ror memners or the legislature, dis
trict judge, etc The primary ballot said
"vote for seven" district judges, and t bm.
sum the ballot at the November election wilt
say the same. We want to knowi Is H
necessary for each voter to vote for seven,
er may he vote for just one or two nominees
for district judsrc, eve though the ballot
says "vote for seven T Pleas
through the columns of your paper, ai
Oblige. A. F. CLARK.
; 6S9 Bmndels Theater Building.
Answer Yon are privileged to vote for
alt. for any number yom may wish, or for
none, as you desire. Yea may not vote for
more than the number des gloated er your
ballot will not be counted, but yen are not
required to vote for all.
TIPS ON HOME TOnCS.
Indianapolis News: The number of acci
dents reported every week suggests that
many people cannot be brought to taae me
'safety first" movement seriously.
Detroit Free Press: Every American boy
may be president of the United States some
day, but when convention time rolls arouna
there are mighty few eligible candidates.
Springfield Republican: General GoethaPs
prediction that the Panama canal will never
be closed again on account of slides may
seem like a defiance of nature, but the gen
eral should know what he is talking about
Cleveland Plain Dealer: An eastern man
died as the result of the bite of a woodtick.
Just as effective as a 42-centimeter gun, and
a lot more lingering and painful. And yet
some people think we ought to go to war.
Chicago Tribune: One of the letters fell
out of a "Welcome" arch in Omaha, and, re
lates the disappointed reporter of The Bee,
'The letter struck the pavement, as there
was no automobile passing at that time.
Baltimore American: The woman's party
organized in Chicago one flag, no candidate
and one plank. This gives the women the
big advantage over their masculine brotners
of-the opportunity for concentrating their
resources and their forces, especially as the
one plank is a fact with them and not a
mere platform fiction.
Louisville Courier-Journal: Cornelius
Roach, secretary of state in Missouri, has
fourteen children and is running for the
office of governor. If he does not get into
the governor's mansion how about letting
the Roach family occupy the building which
will be made vacant by the adjournment of
the democratic national convention?
New York World: This session of con
gress must raise from new taxes at least
$160,000,000 for the increased expenditures
on the army and navy, even with a prac
tice of economy in other directions. But It
Is showing no dosposition to economise any
where. Its $42,200,000 river and harbor bill
is a wretched combination in local jobbery.
This Is now to be followed by a twin-brother
public buildings bill carrying $20,000,000.
SMILING LINES.
Hlbbf Tou certainly have a line library.
Can I borrow a book of you occasionally?
Dlbbs My dear chap, I make it a rule
never to lend books, because people don't
return them. Tou see, all these are bor
rowed books. Boston Transcript.
"I heard you hsve gone Into business, old
fellow."
"Yep, the restaurant business."
:"And how Is the restaurant business, as
you find It?"
"Quite a grind. I eat In my own place
aa an advertisement, but It is beginning to
tell on me." New York Times.
"I never have a chance to show what I
can do," complained the young doctor.
I have a patient for you. You'll have
a swell chance now."
"Swell?"
'Tap: case of mumps. Louisville Cour
ier-Journal. ,
An elderly married couple, each of weighty
proportions, were about to take an automo
bile ride. As the husband made no attempt
to assist his wife into the carw she turned
ttt him and said: "You are not nearly so
gallant as you were when you were a boy."
m.i irn mw Ammr" hit tw Hi raged "targe
not nearly so bouyant as when yon wore a
gal," Chicago Post.
"Smith la a lucky guy. Isn't he?" remarked
Brown. . .
Hti aura is." agreed Jones. "Why. If
bs tumbled out of an aeroplane he would
fall right through a hospital skylight and
on to an operating table." Cincinnati En
quirer.
Two men were cycling past a prison wall,
I wonder where you would be If the prison
had its dus?" remarked one.
"Biding alone," replied the other. New
York Herald.
Postmaster No. not much doln' in town!
Did you hear erbout Lorn Huggtas gettln'
a night letter?
Burgess Not ,LemV
' Postmaster Yes, Lem.
Burgess By crlckyl It boats all thor way
the young fellers are forgln' to the front.
Chicago News.
The Sunday school teacher was not satis
fled with Ellen's unsupported assertion that
she had been christened In orthodox manner,
"How do you know you have?" she aakad.
"Because I've got the marks on my arm,"
said Ellen, Philadelphia Ledger.
She (during the spat) It's a story for
you to say I grabbed you up quick. Yon
know very well that when you proposed X
didn't say yee till the next day.
He That's rlghtl I proposed at 11:81
p. m. and you accepted me at 11:01 the
next morning. Boston Transcript
LITTLE EED SCHOOL HOUSE.
Louise W. Watson, )n St Louis Globe
Democrat. Shadows are lengthening and sun dlplng
westward,
Little red achoolhouse on memory's road,
Close where the old trees cast shade tn the
summer,
Or bent 'neath the weight of the enowa
flaky load.
Long years you welcomed the young gen
erations, Swinging their dinner pails, book bags
galore.
Oft In life's twilight I stand there to greet
them
Or bid them good night at the old sag
ging door.
Cylinder stove holding sway In the center,
Listens to tales bubbling over with gtCsi
Benches brought close while Itho lunches
were eaten.
Tidbits froni which proudly shared they
with me.
Then out to the grounds with gay laughter
of childhood
Skipping of rope, duck-on-Davie, or ball,
"Mumbly-peg," marbjea and kicking of
"wlekey,"
Little red school house, you witness sd
them all.
Teacher? Yes, mother, oft judge and the
jury;
First aid to the Injured; next helping to
bear
Their punishment discipline felt waa a duty,
But lightened when teacher was willing
to share.
Ah, little red schoolhouse, tho' time Inter
vening, Since yesterday's children reached out Into
years,
You're still standing true there on memory's
highway!
I'm seeing you now through a misting of
tears.
V
"Just Six Cents, My Dear" ;
"I've kept track, and my kerosene bill averages six '
cents a day."
: . "And you cook three meals a day on your oil stove?"
"Three meals a day for a family of six. : My New ; -Perfection
Oil Cook Stove i a quick and handy a :
gas. Never smoke, smells or gets out of order."
Perfection Oil give best results.
New Perfection Oil Cook Stoves are told in many stylet
and sizes at hardware, Airniture and department stores
everywhere. Ask to see the new heat retaining oven.
- r B STANDARD OIL CO.
I J (Nceiatk.) A
I Vl 1 I OMAHA
--Summer Excursions-
Round Trips From Omaha, Going and
Returning Same Route.
Atlantic City ..
Bar Harbor, Me.
Boston, Mass. . . .
Buffalo, N. Y. . .
Detroit, Mich. ..
Montreal, Que.
New York City . .
857.30
858.60 to 861.30
854.60 to $62.10
842.45 to 844.45
835.10
845.20
855.80 to 859.10
Circle Trips From Omaha. Tickets on Sale
II e-. BeA jp.i
uany, Deginning May loin
New York City, one way, via Washington,
Norfolk aud steamer, other way via
Niagara Kails 860.50 to 862.10
New York City, one way, via Niagara Falls
and Montreal, other way via Washington,
D-c- 861.80 to 865.55
New York City, one way, via Niagara Falls,
other way via Washington 858.50 to 2 1ft
Boston, one way, via Montreal, other way via aoo,ov ro O.10
New York and Washington 870.25 to 873 1ft
Boston, one way, via Montreal, other way via
Niagara Fall. .... ... 85780 , 9Q020
Boston, one way, via Norfolk and steamer,
other way via Montreal ...863 30
' Reduced rates on many other attractive tours. tjd.
era! stopover privileges. Three splendid daily trains to
Chicago make good connections with fast through trains
for the East.- For further information, folders, etc., call
on or address, v :
. W. E. BOCK, City Passenger Agent,
Chicago, Milwaukee I St. Paul Railway
1317 Farnam Street,
Omaha, Neb.
