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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 21, 1916)
The Omaha Sunday Bee Magazine Pase
By Princess Troubetzkoy
Author of "The Fear Market," "The
Quick or th Dead," etc, etc,
(In in Interview)
ILL you marry roe7" asked
Mr. 0. Abbot Burton, of
Evansville, Indiana, of Miss
Olive Owen, of Brooklyn, some weeks
Ml sa Owen la a poetess of ability. She
was Inclined to aay, "Yea." But, aa a
pooteaa, she knew tbla word of content
baa been fraught with much dlalllualon
and disappointment. She waa la lore
with the young man, pcrbapa; abe
really wanted to marry him, pcrhapa.
But would ahe continue to love him?
Would the glamor last after marriage t
Mlsa Owen, being a real pocteaa, waa
prudent, cautious and far-seeing.
"Perhapa," ahe replied.
' 'Terhaps? Don't you love me?" The
young man waa surprised and hurt.
Then Miss Owen made a propoaltion
which la perhapa unprecedented In the
history of romance.
"If I were aura I should continue to
love you, If I were certain you are all
that you teem, and which I believe you
to be, I would marry you. But"
"But?" aaked the atartled tultor.
"I am not ture," the wlae maiden re
plied. "No girl can be. Marriage la one
of the moat rlaky gambling garnet In the
world. How can we toll If we really
lore one another, or If It lan't only a
romantic glamor a Spring fovcr of the
mind? How do we know we actually
know each other? And If we don't act
ually know each other, what la It we lovet
Answer: an Illusion. I'm not aure about
It; no human being can be unloaa lt't
tested. If you are willing to let me teat
it. and 1 find It taste, I will marry you."
"But how will you tent It?" The
young man waa confident of himself, but
the proposition waa disconcerting.
"I'll come. and live with you for a
month, right In your homo," the girl pro
posed. "If, after a month. . I think I
could live with you for life I will marry
What happened? The young woman
T.mt to live In the yoiinn man's home
and at the find of the month the trial en
gagement was broken.
If every young woman, Instead of
reshly accepting a suitor's proposal, un
dertook the same tent; if she went to live
in her suitors houne. saw how h treated
),'.n mother, sisters, the (toga and cate;
how he acted at the table and ho-v he
;i'.ke to scrvantahow many do you
shinh would decide to go to the altar?
Ten out of a hundred? Or one?
At !-uH e snow a great number
And. vice vewa, not fine men in a hun
(!red. granted the tame opportunity,
ouU f up bai heiorbnod
lint many unhappy murrlage would
l presented. Uht would hi leat l
MuMon and unhappineaa and fewer di
vorcee that ttine ate u day. The
i burning Itroekiyo portent
and hit t an eiample which it would
be ;l for u any to futlow.
Why not have trial engagement in
stead of ht tiitry t'n!e ad w-ato,
trial n.erti' A n air'. that en U la
liMir.n tt vtfnaily only g trial nmrrta,
!i,t belure aivi.rte there t uV.rn ian
si .'tff, Mart bunas, g and uahuppuiett.
AH that iv.'jt'it t 4.t bv lh tl'.
Bin.t o tr!y uMrikn y ifce e'ttef.
J fc(T pot St t C iir.M.kUn.
v an t ! aft fci'y love T 5 'i are
f 1 1 ! I. f a t' . , i- elte the. . l
at t aa t it -i ' n ! n Hit
fid fa. ta, an4 It le n ! ".( j' aMt
trja i : at tit -Mtty i-f y- -.g '..'a
t' tr k ttf a il r a i
! ,,,.' do'ud U maioe
ti:R( '! U- W t t U 6 l l
t i '-) tvt.. n I !& i J
f rrataL Bm aytrtMat, a.re
;. 'f' ka ! he Nf t-f
(? ts it at ih'- f th- t, 4 i it
a' ht it wnt mn mt t '
ti t-.. ill ilto,)iv;. '.
t-r ajH''-M 'A f f .' i !.
! i ! ' ti a . i-i
. .. snertata fce aJw(,'er
lt'l' 'r BR' (i(J 4f.,t r a
.tt axaa it ittr ri f
ntum' i- :-4 t w.4 !
! at4 lt tut f t&tt ta kU i a' j
"The most trying moment is
breakfast. With a mental pencil
and a note book the trial en
gagement bride-to-be might
well obaerve her fiance. Doet
he take the morning paper fur
tively or seize it boldly with
aclfiah indifference to otheri?"
Moot marriages are unhappy because
the rosy Illusion does not. last. Under
the test of dally asHoclution, of eating at
the same table, of engaging In the sordid
details of household life, the texture of
the goldeu dream becomes plain burlap,
and very coarso gray burlap at that. All
Is not gold that glitters; all Is not ro
mance that blooms In Springtime.
And so I think It a good plan for a
young woman to test out companionship
with the man she contomplatee marry
ing In his homo as the Brooklyn poetess
did. I think It would be excellent also
for a young man to make a tent on hla
lde, If tho Rlrl'a provea satisfactory, In
the home of the young woman.
If Deademona. for Instance, had antici
pated the Ilrooklyn poetess and had gone
Into Othello's family she would have dis
covered his Jnalouay, Ophelia did live in
Hamlet's houBe, and certainly sho found
him to be mad. Would Lady Caroline
Lamb have become frantically enamored
with Lord Byron If she had seen how he
acted at home toward Lady Byron? If
people who fell In love, or Imanlned they
had fallen In love, undertook thla unique
teat they could certainly ascertain
whether they got tired with each other
or more and more interested; they would
certainly know whether Intimate contact
tended to excite antagonism and aversion
or a closer and more congenial compan
ionship. Under that test they would find
if love Is love or merely tho glamor of
youth and sex.
In such a trial visiting engagement,
the young person would be like Saul
going out to find wild aaxea; some, like
Saul, might find a kingdom, other less
than hat they set nut to find.
How would a girl, golnx Into the home
of her intended husband, ho able to test
hi character? You would presume that
the young man, knowing he waa under
survt illatu'e, would be on his good b
havlor. He would be. Hut In a period
of from one to Hire months he wonld
iitpvitalily iticlo(n Ma rral nature. Dnn
rannnt be on good behavior lu the home
a!i the time. A girl Msesini a in
of 1 rente could find roui-h lntt-rest and
exritfou iU in titla vipurtence. Hue could
rv how tt.a man she tdaiirea treat bta
mother and alitor. If ha trrated them
roughly he would know what ti etec
mr tha young man try ta "rtf
A i.appy uirr'.i I a onipnUmtiip
:(! both have r.jitat t:bt. ni
Wither trie t lir.ttitttal ant rule lis
fc'.-W A girl would ptotablT fJ the
iiUminatirg tn-tet to a kian e ta
ver tf'-e n.!l ibtne tf htm ih
" -a l i.a lu ret t. h in.thf i
t' A Hin k.i rr !t tin ht
to.itti.'f a quality t rtDtdrtln
ae-l i r. Sfvi ii44
lHis;H I' ' H; trtlnf It. ,!. t of
tK ( ciitv N'Uf k.nr I tr't WM
'!'? a 4 i T"ti...'. tv; (;.
. ' ' Slid It '.it t, b f f
t (" tt ! end (.' .
(. - I t.tt mi t
f ' V fc.i M-t ! tl t-4
rt! f 'vrt'at.V 1. 1 tit tt hat their
vi vt 1 i ) t v.ft4'itt eHe
a & tH 4t.li i it, , ti ; . u;
i t 1 1 i ) , y l li . ; : I t it , ! s I i 4 u Si
i.T It ve It ew ir t r
t I I l'"t H.. ..(,.,( t f .
i (i t 4 tit a . e f ti"
.,ln M , 4 Mt . ' I Jul ,.,
a t i .-; K(.i,i,.a,t i j . t
tH'tt' '.! ''. if I K.i. (,'':'.;
I' 1 -t,'-4 4 th,
4 v. .-...j . i 1. 1 : ti t
"good morning, mother, dear," really hol
low? Does he take the morning paper
and read It furtively, keeping In view the
fact that be is trying to act the part of
an amiable lover, or does he seize the
paper boldly with selfish Indifference to
the others at tho breakfast table? la
he ellcut, even sullen? And It he does
make an effort to brighten the breakfast
'"c:u is he playing a part to Imprest
the girl who Is watching him?
The girl may have some plain unat
tractive friend, perhaps a maiden aunt,
whom she might ask to call. A young
man la generally inclined to slight an
unattractive female, especially If she
has lost her youth. If the girl asks htm
to take her maiden aunt out, and to go
about with her in public, ehe can learn
much about blm In the way he accepte
or diRBonts from her proposal. A man
who is really nice is nice all through,
and I have been pretty well able to
Judge men according to their manners
toward unattractive women.
Marriage too often means a lowering
of the bars of personal Intimacy. Mar
rl&ge should moan a maintaining of the
barriers. Living In a man's home, a girl
would And whether, as the dully Intimacy
Increases, he obwerves the courtesies that
aro nwessary for respect. I consider It
an affront to a wlfo for a husband to
ruh Into hr own room unannounced
an idt'iil husband would always knock at
hia wife's bedroom door. If a young man
continues to treat the girl la hla home
with deference and take no liberties. It
Haks well fur his behaviour after max-
After she ha been in a mart's home for
several wi-ka a girl could tell whether
her joiMit'o riiinee continue observing
t'ie rervf hon In crtllln The
ptimu'al car of ouraeivea ahould bo a
matter of privacy. A wornaa may ao ta
hed !!! to'.d crrti on her face, but If
alie tfce t rMln her therm for him
ahe aiieull never appear before her hut
band with a Kreav Ia l.ikealiMt, a
y.;ii,tt man show Ma ii!!Mee of punc
trt.usfie ai'd fit iirtr. in Ma family
life tvt In e;-pver unaihavrd in t.h
iKorHej t"'. r hi motlier ard el?Mt?
I :t.. kuww a oiin4 ritl wfto tm
.:1i (hI they er u i h In li'', bi;l ti,
ul;i lu ; lit !!.; .t4-i l:i fnurdtu-t'lii-'o
n.trriii'.. be.ai' ttu'rw an I
n f k r t'i i;i:.in liff kiiw
ti! t ". I ! t t r Ti n' i -.1 Itw fi;ii ,(
it ti.r. a 'i I tt tf.ei-pUtf i:g a'K'iJ
Iter at-.. I M tii f 1 1 n .' int f-.c..ii. u, .., t
t'.'; : ! 4 . i. i .! 1 1 . ;.. t it a,;
"li''tn " i " I (!' I . ': ' !,i!V
t i i l,tf f'i nt en ti M!-t
T--m t w t nut ...U 'l f "
f-itnl tin, n t.v b-r.t:.-4 eel if fe;a
!'4,t t,.;' It mn U,' la- ..f
l''r 'il ,'e, f (Ml ('.' Jf.V'1 it ' 4
w. i I' Oi:.- t't l.vt,at
t t-c I to fi i t-id t tn'u t
. ..f h i n 't'ut h v k. I t
t I t :.."f !, ft. . tJ4 I
' tt J?' W ?. )4 ti , (t,hsl't
1 .'".''' t ,, '....'.. 4 !' I 4
t I ... it tH t f . i 1 '!! ''.',
Ml ?-" Jf I-' I,' .'.;. t
' " a, w i. . a , ! ..ml i e '!
" ,1. ' i a. '' i". , ' 'H t1 i h
l- ! ; 4 mt:. A r-. S .-f l .v.
Cvf.'i, ti, a 14 e4 ',".,--tj.
Study in a Man's
Own Home Is the
Best Insurance a
Girl Can Have
t- f ..
- 1 ' ,i
"If DeaJemona had gono into Othello's family for a trial en
gagrment she would have discovered hit jealousy,"
i'rincess Troubetiskoy and Shakespeare would hava
had no such scene as this to immortalize.
pir ud tea, spotttaneotit, and e, tick ta
euhalde. or tul'ert. nvwdy aol I m
Uttiu if a ina bwome pNvta,
iLhi.it at, ewltt-n. he t h.-re1'
i' :! I V "i i 'ei ii '-y a uin
! in u.t leu t..n;' r, btit lei her t-
a- vt the ii-e h.i, lu mi.fmt l) hut
mutii'ii It !i il i f H. t :r " a.' en.f
rvpUet. 'usi ri.ii.ts;." an I rvbtlnue
I V a itH.R-i: nun J "'. MBf W..1
'. II fit.-! .1 j if t..e4 f v..i4t
tf (!: 'i hi'n it Ij'.U (-. a
if a-.. f.nt oaa it lvaWe
if r. 'iff . 't ti a je:u
h" t s .i t i ii J 'J t tuarry a
aa it ( it -t tri Imr
t k-.tw a r-v ..!! aa ecirt
' til I ".t a-! t. t : ' n a t tt
t j- t Wit a ! rf It tit . ti
";''i' ti -.m i -. t ' m ' ne
i." h,t ft i r i-.s-f ;.. I . h a,
;.;--.) ' f t . !', i !.fs
t 't t f ti I cm. i, fan
I'." ti 4i 4 ' I i , H i i , tig f-m
'-.,. .... . .
'i hit et'4 i"ti.4
vf i ''4 it !mt. t tt
! t-i C 1 a af d4Cf
i t, f !' vi f ea, la
t4 ti . r i.' ! tt i
p '-'-if" , -
' j, '
1 ' r (
' 1 v.1
Stead of her bflnj a tin aetrrt plavtng
bfa ititifl m!. you tirsht hv cause for
wMectiuu I . t ... h.'a d be aian',4
eucti an att'tu i w
ItiS t a'u' ,U n' the tfa'out ce
feati wht drae ht witr ar.t'ind by th
hair of hwr Is t l et n ifi tv a
tKn.lt 4 m.urr !r i f 'he alt dfVi'Uf
ing J lu-is hn'h ln;.;t'' a n;i t
ait b.r at I f hit Tvt la t
k(l:it fitf I an ff'ttla hj f J'ii
and utti ivi-.ia ' n a-tar, aud wl
etiip'y ii i.tiir t-. f't en one a
t,u.e V ! ua (" it s't fi"ifh
t 'tt !. t i"t i t-4 at
e'ltf are l.a th m i. efl
Dun tt t'. ot( ai I . ttfliag mf
Iti 1 p. 1 a
vt (4 fwt rti'le t wt-i.'h
t' ll.'t ' Vf I ! !" ijKI'.Jll
.. , i t 1 1 a ' i i, .' u ,
(I,! ',, .,i I . !.'. tt f.. , . i . . i isu e
in nt l' ; ( -t'-. ,t I ir-f
'-.. n..f t . ., t n.aa r.-,. -te a
I (I e'l eii:..--. f . . ir.
- t . te, nl i,lt.
e i.tti!f.g t.i t, r t h ttf 4 i-
I trt et it I t ' ff fi'i en u t
a fc4 U kU ('.) hv'iaa aia toi: I
The Charming Profile of Amelie
Rives the Princess
tell how he will be In his own home
after marriage." If It could be done, a
girl could learn even more about her
suitor by entering his home disguised aa
a servant. Think what ehe might learn!
She would find out whether she could
love him as he Is, or If, after all, she
has not fallen In love, like Narcissus,
with a projection of her own ideals.
Love Is love only If it Is big enough to
develop Into friendship and companion
ship, If it trusts and is not corroded by
Jealousy, and If It allows perfect freedom.
Young people who wander out In Spring
time and gather flowers are only under
an enchantment. It Is foolish for them
to marry before ascertaining whether
the emotion goea deeper or not. Young
people at eighteen or twenty-five are not
doveloped and ten years later will be
entirely different people. Will those two
who Imagine they are so fondly In love
at eighteen continue to love after ten
yeara of companionship, when they win
have changed end a different character
will have been moulded?
I eften think It would be better for
most of them to separate instead of mar
tying. Of courae, if you do separate a
youthful couple they ever thereafter go
about tmaa-ining their lives are blighted.
tut after all the memory of a charming
rottunce U better than dlitllunlonment ta
mamas. I'or all the young peuple a
testing out period would be eicelleot la
de!, to volatile I youthful character
and un.ertait the emotions of the
young bert. that I think a Ul period ef
at leut a yi ar would re a better the
iiiuntit or i.ir' Hiiititht,
Mn. du'ing rouruitip, it at his beat,
ant a st rl It g.-ctaiiy tm-aned t thlak
h i n-t irfeet thing In the uM
r II t r.t s'iig : I charming a
tt;fn.ir i wii""!' i.iih. r i mn i,u'.-t
h i h a !.! MiH-i-i,.4 tiiutti t, ct a
part In w.tr M a' e! aj rl
it it if a ii i irtmiTt at brakfatt
e ;'h t.'t it..-1 tier an titter r a a-
n d fulfilling aa hi makt
tut ..iMng it,! it h la at tuh!. a
I . 'is it a ' n I is at h 'in ae
ht ha ti t h t girt. It a .'i. ta gir
Wu ten! " H ' i'Iy la (it tn
an t t-ul iatt''l i a ie't'.i
t i It ir t I"
Int t' "r a (a.( tit m (k,
rt't'y j via a''er "lifl t ? any
b- -t I Silt I' f :n. ti4 lt tki
l! it ii-t f tl j ,fv thiiitjit the
'ti it ft i 't-t t. . im t .. a me
t - m i i-ftr te aiear4
an 4 U e t I
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