Nebraska Newspapers

    2 D
HIE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: MAY 21, 191G.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER.
VICTOR; ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
The Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
PKH BUILDING, FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH.
Kntered at Omaha poatofflre a wouIim matter.
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ArMiea rommurilrdiiom relating to nwi and edt
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APRIL CIKCXLATTOS.
57,808 Daily Sunday 52,223
D wight Wllllama, circulation manager of Tha Bee
Publishing oompany, being duly sworn, eare that tha
average circulation for tha month of April, was
.;,( dally and I'l.m Sunday.
LtWIOHT WILLI A MM, Circulation Manager.
Bubecrlbed In tny preeenoe and sworn to batora DM
thl M day of Way, Wis.
KubEHX HUKTKR, Notary Fubllo.
f'ubacriberg leaving lh city temporarily
bould bay Tha fito mailed to them. Ad.
draws will bo change, as of tea m requested.
Yes, be kind to dumb animals also to chil
dren and grown-ups.
Still, the straw hat will bloom all the better
for the heartless delay.
The voice of Oregon Is even louder
Hughes than the voice of Nebraska.
for
The weather maker seems wholly indifferent
to social popularity and retail esteem.
Pretty gay badges those that the national
convention delegates will sport this yearl
Let the university boys and girls come again
next year and Omaha will try to arrange for a
better brand of weather.
If it were up to Omaha, that resignation of
President Mohler of the Union Pacific would be
rubber-stamped, "Not accepted."
Those democrat! in congress evidently want
to gauge the size of the battle fleet according to
the dimensions of the present secretary of tha
navy.
Seven new bishops hare been added to the
staff of the Methodist church episcopacy. 'Tha
old harry" is now up against defease! aurpassing
Vrrdun.
The eggs in the democratic congressional
basket in this district aeem to need unscrambling.
U the senator'! organ boosting Lobcck or
Quinby?
Warring nation! might as well suspend opera
tions during the second week in June. For that
prriod the spotlight of pubtfeiry cannot reach
beyond Chicago and St Louie,
A plea for peace writ tan by "Met," which in
other days would harre bean printed ta (he Com
moner, has been ordered printed fa the Congres
sional Record. But not even that wCl aqaara kirn
with Mr. Bryan after tha exchange of tart-banded
compliment! during the recent primary campaign,
The blighting touch of enry threatens to pre
vent Norman Hapgood salting all the fortune
pulled down by the aale of Ilarper's Weekly. . An
attempt ii being made to force a "split" by meant
of a libel suit for $300,000. , Maw Yorkers hate to
see real money get away.
The preliminary "sky-larking" of National
Committecman-clect Mullen prompt! us to In
quire what has become of those aaga wiseacres
who, four years ago, were clamorously insisting
that the primary choice for thia position was enti
tled to take over the job and its duties and priv
ileges the moment the vote was canvassed. Please
note that Dr, Hall is still officiating as Ne
braska's accredited representative on the demo
cratic national committee.
A rare opportunity for looking backward some
twenty years presents itself to the Omaha Jack
sonian club. The return of John P. Irish, once
an honorary member of the club, to these parts
should be signalized with a reunion in honor of
former asiociationa. Psrty conditions at this
tmie n closely resemble those of 1896 that no
gtrat difficulty would be experienced in repeating
tlir memorable Stunt when John P, led the flock
of ibn gold democreta over the transom.
Thirty Years Ago
This Day in Oraana
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Learning' Our Lesson from the War.
The' greatest lesson being taught Americans
by the war in Europe is not that we are unready
to fight as battles are fought nowadays, although
that is esteemed of great importance by serious
thinkers. What we most needed to know, and
what is being driven home to us in a most im
pressive manner, is our unthrift in other ways.
We not only boast of our enormous aggregate
wealth and prosperity beyond conception, but we
prove it to the outsiders at least by the prodigal
waste we make of it. The wealth that is used is
enough to astound our neighbors, but they are
the more amazed by the dissolute manner we
have of letting millions disappear that might be
saved by just a little more care on our part.
For example, we are running short on potash
and its derivatives or mineral allies. A southern
investigator has just discovered that for every
one hundred tons of iron produced at the Ala
bama mines six tons of cyanide of potassium is
allowed to escape in fumes, to a value at normal
prices of $2,400, or more than the worth of the
iron. This waste is only a feature of the general
recklessness with which our great industrial op
erations have been carried on. Many times of
lateAhe great loss due to neglect to recover the
values from the coal tar and the petroleum resi
due has been detailed. One of the recent dis
quisitions on some of the things we are finding
out called attention to the fact that a certain
quality of sand is sent from Nebraska to Ger
many, there made into quartz glass and returned
to this country, and that the price of this glass
has mounted sky-high since the war, because its
importation is cut off. Yet the raw material for
that fiiass is found within a few miles of Omaha.
Organizing our industries for war is well un
dertaken, but a far more important business
would be to organise them for peace, to the end
that something of the enormous neglect now
practiced be turned to use and the country be
given the benefit of the wealth that is now dissi
pated in fumes to pollute the air or refuse to
foul the running streams.
Kindness to Anima.li.
The humane societies and other similar organ
ization! are emphasizing today their lesson of
kindness to animals and endeavoring to drive it
home in various wayi. The admonition, "Be
kind to animals," is, of course, merely one form
of urging consideration of the feelings of others,
particularly of those who may be unable to en
force such consideration for themselves, Yet
being kind, instead of wanton, to animals is for
the benefit of these creatures no more than It is
for the person who is thus considerate. The
man or woman, or boy or girl who is kind to ani
mals will develop a kind disposition in all rela
tions and command a deference and respect al
ways forfeited by display of meanness or cruelty,
Getting; the Churoh Branches Tog-ether.
Conferences of three great religious denomina
tion! during the last week listened to reports to
the effect that progress la being made along the
linei of reunion of branchei of the icveral sect!
that parted company about the time of the civil
war. It seems that the adjustment should not
be so very difficult, but while the original cause
for division has disappeared, or should have,
other points have developed on which separation
hinges. Unity of belief in the great fundamen
tal! on which Christianity rests is not sufficient
to meet all the requirements of the doctrinaires.
Point! of theology over which dispute has raged
for centuries still serve to hold apart In this
world those who devoutly believe they will all
meet in the next. Simple followers of the faith
are slightly disturbed by this condition, save as
they are taught to accept the sectarian conclu
sions that have multiplied creeds. These are the
outstanding features of the general situation. The
solution rests with the preachers, who are the
chief disputants, and who confess themselves
able to agree on the central dogma, but not on
kits radiations. The action of the Baptists, the
Methodists and the Presbyterians in their present
sessions may be leading forward to the great
union of all creeds, and a consequent impetus to
the general expansion of their faith, but the
progress ie slow.
The Oase of Jeremiah 0. Lynch.
President Wilson's intercession on behalf of
Jeremiah C. Lynch may save his life, a boon
granted by the British government to the presi
dent of the United States. But this does not lift
the responsibility of American citizens to respect
the government under which they live. Our laws
do not countenance treason or rebellion at home,
and cannot protect our citiiena abroad when en
gaged In endeavor to overthrow a government
with which we are at peace. Protest against
summary punishment is proper at all times, and
the necessity of proving the case is plain. Rela
tions between the United States and Great
Britain are already strained, and this newest com
plication will serve to increase the embarrass
ment of the State department in its action.
Telephone Wire Tapping-,
A serious qaestton of vast public concern is
forced to the front by the common practice of
telephone wire tapping on police orders in New
York City. The practice goes back twenty yaars
or more, and written orders of 3)0 wire taps are
of record. The number is much binher. Until
a year ago the telephone company admits hav
ing granted the privilege to others than the au
thoniits, the abuse reaching proportions wliich
loivfJ the company ta require police orders be
fore allowing the lap. In etch instance the
police demanded tHe tight to listen in on the
wires at a meant of dfttulug or preventing
crime: I'lamly, (he nttd of rigid rtttrirttoit on
the privilege it impertiive, l-t "the detection and
prevention of mm" too ittdily rovers a tnnlii
luds f other things A few months tf ihe
polut Uiil die wire leading to the hstuie f a
miitr K.e tola ottrnte the oHiton ot
evidence to telwle at tjlMl leileuknt ci a
tbetiuMt U'ttitntioo. I he lUngtrout Wi'gtM tt
whh .!., p.omef m (. atieuhed m lelt-
t-r e Ut (itt ii'Juaie'i b r rIMtt
i-l it. a fif a I ! a''- imoihft eMbtw
mi'' ntt M an It it -gKi not ae a bad
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Sy T lot or mosewater.
MY NARRATION of my national convention
experiences stopped with the nomination
of William Jennings Bryan at Chicago in 1896,
from which he emerged to wage his "first battle,"
destined, however, not to be his last. When four
years had rolled around I witnessed his second
nomination, this time by acclamation, in the 1900
convention in Kansas City.
It happened that the allotment of press tickets
for that occasion had been particularly liberal and,
having one to spare, I took E. J. Corniah with
me. He had just returned from helping to re
nominate McKinley at Philadelphia, where he
was a delegate, and had come back with an inocu
lation of convention virus that led him to snap
up my suggestion that he go along and take in the
gathering of the democratic clans. Although
Kansas City had worked wonders in rebuilding its
convention hall, after seeing it burned down just
a few weeks before, it was at that time miserably
lacking in hotel and restaurant facilities and gen
eral accommodations for a big crowd. The old
Midland and the Coates House were the only two
pretentious hostelries, and Cornish and I had to
bunk together in a rooming house not far from
the Coates and pick up a bite to est wherever we
could get it.
I remember that at Kansas City, because of
its near proximity to Nebraska, the demand for
tickets was the burning question of the hour,
but there were ways found and tricks played that
took nearly every visitor inside the charmed cir
cle, notwithstanding the fact that the approaches
were roped in for blocks and guarded by cordons
of police and successive sets of ticket inspectors
at every turn. I was to be joined there by Louis
Bostwick, whom we put into business as staff
photographer for The Bee. Bostwick had gone
ahead with Colonel Roosevelt on a Rough Rider
expedition into Oklahoma and was due in Kansas
City on hia return by the opening day of the con
vention. When he did not show up I loaned his
ticket out and passed him up for the day, but, lo
and behold, just before the noon recess here was
Bostwick corning up to report to me at the press
table.
"How did you get In without a ticket?" I
asked.
"Just walked right in," said he.
"Well," said I, "I don't believe I can get your
ticket back for the afternoon session, and I don't
know just what to do about H."
"Never mind," returned Bostwick, "I'll get in
again the same way I did this time."
And, being in Missouri, he proceeded to
"show me" by performing the stunt a second time
before my very eyes just walking along with his
camera in his hand, shaking off policemen and
doorkeepers and ticket-takers merely by putting
on a front as if he belonged there and were just
going about hia own business.
Although the Kansas City convention made
the customary noise, it was really comparatively
tame because the pyrotechnics and demonstrations
were so palpably artificial and also by reason of
the absence of most of the big men of the party.
Congressman W. A. Richardson of Tennessee was
the chairman and Senator Tillman of South
Carolina "elocuted" the platform, but the most
aought-after notables were "Boss" Croker and
David B. Hill
Alt the arts of the stage carpenter and calcium
light man were here brought into play. At the
proper point in the chairman's apostrophe to "our
peerless leader" a plaster bust of Bryan, swathed
in the Stars and Stripes, was ostentatiously borne
to the platform and set upon a pedestal and un
veiled, whereupon the band played and the dele
gate! yelled and the spectators shrieked. When
the anti-imperialism plank of the platform was
reached the scenery-shifters pulled a rope that
released a huge flag tightly rolled up on the ceil
ing rafter abova the platform and let it drop. On
the white stripes was painted in large letters the
campaign slogan, "The constitution and the flag
-one and inseparable now and forever." And
I noticed all the ushers and attendanta at the
same instant rushing 'on signal to the space be
hind the seats, where barrels filled with small
cambric flags Imprinted with the same inscription
had been stored. These flags they seized pell
melt and carriad out to the arena and to the gal
leries, distributing them to everyone within reach,
and in tha twinkling of an eye the great hall was
transformed into one great sea of these waving
motto-bearing banners. This was the big demon
stration, and it was speeded up from time to time
as enthusiasm waned until it finally wore itself
out.
Occasion for another spectacular outburst was
found after the reading of the section expressing
sympathy for the Boers, then waging their war
against the British in South Africa. Webster
Davis, a Kansas City lawyer with a reputation for
fervid oratory, who had resigned as assistant sec
retary of the interior under McKinley to cham
pion the canse of the Boers, was raised to the
rostrum and proclaimed his convertion to the
democratic faith, with a promise of his support for
the ticket. But he was so excited and confuted
that he completely destroyed the effect of his
climax by mixing up his namei. "I stand upon
this platform," he shouted, "and shall support
William J. Brennmgs." At which the laughter
overwhelmed the applaute.
Let me recall here that the speech putting
Mr. Bryan in nomination at Kannat City was de
livered by Willis D, Oldham, who i 1,4111 one "f
the delegates at-targe, recently rlrcted. hut this
time on the anti Ilryan ticket, Oldham's speech,
as I recall it. was hardly tfeognuati!?, Iiyiiii
been "denatured" by cutting out 'l In character
istic vocabulary and cyclnm eapreaions aa a re
sult of the ceiitureahip of the tryn, who hal
blue penciled it. Yet, and whilr Oldham waa
tpf ttbmdtng the dr mot rati, a aule how; tomtt
lion an b e in at timu!taneoti! hrUi m aniihrr
Kaiisat lily ha!l in whnh rrauk V fctntum, to.
day another anti tlrvan uVWutie, an tamtam
his hypnotic powers l.a tnrg the s.Ner truh.
Inane U the help of IU ( (nira' ! m
alaa ca a tunott t kei
Twice Tokl Talcs
a a
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t aaa4 1 4ti,
Va a a ? -' a I ha e't t'
at ' ,..yhr lial e ft-'! f . aa
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-
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT.
Chicago Herald: The Methodist
ministers who are discussing the
need of changing certain words in
the ritual may rest assured that time
will gradually do it even if they
don't.
Springfield Republican: Jews,
Catholics and Protestants to name
them in the order of seniority of
their religions are united, through
representative clergymen, in a pur
pose to help the campaign for 100,
000 members of the Red Cross in
New York City and 1,000,000, in the
United States; "united on the firing
line of love and duty;" as Rabbi
Joseph Silverman puts it.
Buffalo Express: Six presbyteries
have joined with that ot Cincinnati
in asking the Presbyterian general
assembly to put the New York pres
bytery out of the fold. Leaders of
the accused body express their con
fidence in being able to prove that
their orthodoxy is sound. The gath
ering at Atlantic City thia month
promises to be one of the most in
teresting the church has had in years.
Philadelphia Record: The munifi
cence of the late Mrs. D. Willis
James of New York gives an im
mense impetus to the efforts of three
religious bodies to make some de
cent, though small, provision for
their disabled and superannuated
ministers. To the appropriate boards
of the Presbyterians, Congregation
alists and Methodists her will leaves
$750,000 each for the permanent
funds now being raised whose in
come will afford old or invalided
clergymen small pensions. Besides
the three denominstions among which
Mrs. James divided two and a quar
ter millions, the Episcopalians and
the Baptists are now raising perma
nent funds sufficient to give disabled
ministers something like $500 or $600
a year. In most of the cases, we be
lieve, the sum aimed at is $5,000,000,
but one very large denomination is
undertaking to raise double that
amount, In some cases it is the plan
to allow a pension of less than the
maximum and that is certainly
modest enough for a disabled min
ister who has not reached the age of
65 or 70, the allowance being propor
tioned in some measure upon the
clergyman's length of service.
ODD BITS OF LIFE.
hi 1 a
01 a a
ai :. a a a a 1
a b-" a .1
I ab ' - i at l'a a 4
a a a a n i I a
Death valley is the hottest place in
the United States.
Colonel and Mrs. Thomas Jeffer
son Parker of Richmond, Va., have
eleven children, and the shortest son
in the lot is six feet four inches tall.
The adoption of eastern standard
time by the city of Detroit in May,
1915, caused a loss of one hour a
day of lighting to the Detroit Edison
company, materially affecting the
earning from this source of business
for 1915.
Two hundred and twenty-two
articles beside rations are carried by
British soldiers sent into the
trenches, sixteen items being worn
on the person, eleven carried in the
pockets, nine in the haversack, six
teen in the valise and nine in the
"hold all" besides sixteen item! of
equipment.
"Recently I have been investigat
ing the lives of 4,043 American mil
lionaires," says Dr. Russell H. Con
well. "All but twenty of them started
life as poor boys, and all but forty
of them have contributed largely to
their communities. But, alas I not
one rich man'i son out of seventeen
dies rich."
Joseph A. Willard of Delmar
township, Pennsylvania, has been ex
hibiting a relic in the shape of a
carved ivory snuff box. On the
cover is inscribed "Susanna Willard,
1306." This heirloom is said to have
come over in the Mayflower and has
been handed down in the Willard
family for 600 years.
The late Dr. David Allyn Gorton,
who was for many years editor of
the National Quarterly Review and
the Medical Times, was, like Napo
leon and Edison, capable of do
ing much work on little sleep.
Four hours' sleep a day, between 2
and 6 a. m., it is stated, was his usual
allowance even up to the advanced
age 83 at which he died.
AROUND THE CITIE3.
Philadelphia will operate 128 play
grounds during the summer.
Topeka and Sioux City schools are
staging spelling contests. In the lat
ter city last week girl pupils run away
with three of the four prizes.
"Dollar day" is St. Joe's popular
way of boosting retail trade. The
third and biggest one was pulled off
last Thursday and proved a trade
hummer.
Salt Lake's assessed valuation for
1916, as fixed by the county assessor,
totals $159,000,000. Under a new
revenue law full valuation is required
for the first time.
New Orleans will repair and restore
historic St. Louis catliedral annually
visited by thousands of tourists. It
fronts Jackson square and its side
flanks St. Peter street.
A Chicago teacher says half the
hojt in school need some treatment
to 'increase their mental activity, I n
fortunately, parents neglect In apply
the needed treatment.
M Louis succeeded in heading ofi
an eltort to sliitt the seat of tne aUte
tirand lodsr of the Independent tinier
ni' iMd lellowa to Kanaas t ity. S.
I vtna l)4 held the honor autre K.t..
t'hicego authority ratahliahed a
'tie ii quiet un the afreet fronting
the dome of it (ne hoy habv, who
a ilaiiKerout auk The baby ruin
hc hoftu' and the home rulea the Und.
I !nct4 i!l h tbree eotuerti i',4
in lull t-Ul at tt unit' !inr ilic aft'
dipt wreV. in June -tSe republican, li e
n.jtfiiii and the woman t pjHf
aj it '!'' a t!i r publii an t iU oc
, ... l' a- ".a'd 1- "1
Vik t aVi1 (ivia' ti wi'l I' Ve a
-l.iil fi.-'l-.Uv Ot ..,! --u.. U,
Slav ,i t't.l'.H ho-l-ra e I U ai
la. 1 ; i. ', ,i ,t Oi i Hi I I1
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bi,f " I'H ' " aieni-aj '
w.naei ta it'll '..'..Mil.'..) ax 4 ik;' o
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tar.! a '!. s a 'i;i .i V't
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tf. '!.j4 a! t'.aaii t i ji-.aif 'i
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PEOPLE AND EVENTS.
A perfumed handkerchief with a
hand-worked monogram led to the
arrest of the owner, a burglar, in St.
Louis. Success makes the "gentle
man burglar" as careless as the
ordinary holdup.
Six-cent street car fares are pro
jected in Boston and the Public
Service commission is listening to
arguments pro and con. Jitney op
erators are as enthusiastic as the
street railway people for the boost.
Both are looking out for No. 1.
There isjio successor to Big Tim
Sullivan, the deceased Bowery king.
When he passed out of sight his
achievement took the toboggan. His
famous political club house has just
passed under the auctioneer ham
mer, the last survival of his memory.
The fates and the fairies oft blow
up the Jolly plans of bachelor man
kind. A bachelor organization of
Lafayette, Ind., chartered in 1897
with thirteen members, has lowered
its flag, pulled down the pillars of
its temple and disbanded. Only
thirty out of 100 members survived
the siege ot tne tair sex.
A campaign for bettor wages and
better working canditions launched
by the Union of Office Employes of
Greater Boston carries a note of in
dependence rivalling the historic tea
party. Henceforth kissing is ta
booed during business hours and the
gentle caress absolutely denied to
the bosses. Truly the joy-killer is
whirling the Hub.
The most distinguished citizen of
Bayonnc, N. J., sports whiskers two
feet long and some over. An un
feeling rounder playfully yanked a
handful of the crop and subsequently
explained to the court that he
grabbed the bush as a lifeline to pre
vent his falling. "Don't believe you,"
whispered the judge as he bearded
the rounder for $10.
"Hide your socks, boys, or sister
will take them!" is the gentle remin
der wafted out of Philadelphia by
the National Association of Hosiery
Makers. According to this authority
the high cost of living tends to
shorten the reach of feminine stock
ings and cause a similarity of length
that leads to a mixup. In a world of
trouble there is always room for one
more.
Chicago's claim as an exponent of
the latest in masculine fashions is
challenged ' by Aurora. Charley
Saunders, aged 78. the Reau Brum
mel of the town, recently paraded in
a pair of 50-rcnt jeans, a blue overall
coat with brass buttons, a alouch hat,
and a pair of sunset shoes that
dazzled the boulevardiers. Charley
owns a 700-acre farm nearby, is
worth $50,000, and is just beginning
to blow himself in style.
DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
"I dnn'l rara tu aubmtt any evl'-lenre na
hfhulf of thin lady, my I'lirnt," stated the
ettln.'nt attornay. "I si-iir'y ask I ha Jur
for a verdli-t ot acquittal
"On what arounds?" dpniandd the aaton.
latifd prosecutor
'in tha arounda of youth and food
look "
And ha (ot hia vardict. Louiavllle Courier-Journal.
A pupil In a srhni! n"ar Chatham aqnara
New York i.'i:y, ilius drdnd the wort
"aplna" ;
"A aplna la a long. Ilnihir bnns. Tout
h?ad acta on on? tid. and you at on thi
other." LlripliKutl a Mairaalna.
"Where do you Intend to go thla aunv
mr ?"
"I'm Rotns to atHy af horna." replied Mr.
Duntln Htux. "My family'a going away an4
I'm ff'iltig to ombrace. the opportunity ta
alt In my alilrt aleevea and amnke cia-ftr ta
the brat runia In tha houae." W&flhingtoe
Star.
SUPERSTITIONS OF MEXICANS.
The dried hand of a monkey is in
great favor as a talisman.
If persons eat green corn at night
they will suffer from toothache.
To dream of flying in the air
causes fear of one's approaching
death.
When sparks fly out of the fire it
is considered a sign of an unwelcome
visitor.
If a person dreams of eating meat,
it means the early death ot one's
husband or wile.
The birth of twins is considered a
cign of the approaching death of
one of the parents.
For a person to sneeze is con
sidered a sign that some one is
speaking evil about him.
Parents forbid their children to
lean against posts, "because persons
who do so habitually become liars."
When tamales stick fast to the pot
in which they are being boiled, they
exert an unlucky influence on those
who eat them.
If a maize-cake or tortilla doubles
over when thrown upon the pan to
bake, it is considered a sure sign that
some one is coming towards the
house.
In order to preserve their crops
from destruction, owners of maize
or bean fields scatter ashes in the
court yards of their houses during
hailstorms.
When a child loses a milk-tooth,
its parents throw the tooth into a
rat note, for if this is not attended
to, the child will not grow any sec
ond teetb.
The ancients believed they would
guard themselves against sorcerers
by means of a circle composed of
mustard seed or a line drawn with
charcoal
When persons eat or drink in the
presence of an infant in the cradle,
it is a custom to place a particle ot
their food or drink in its mouth, in
the belief that this will prevent Its
having the hiccoughs.
She FWora we were married you bought
m mil h liandaomr pre.srits.
M! My K'-nfral rxpxnaea were very llghl
then. Vou lived on your rmher and I Hve4
on free lunch. Boalnn Tranairlpt.
Tha temher wa telling her rlaaa a long,
highly omb'Mlah'il amry ot H.niik Claua,
and the mirth of Willie Jnnee avldantly got
entirely beyond hia control.
"Willie," anld the teacher, sternly, "what
did I whip you for ycnoirday ."' ,
"Fer lyln'." promptly anawnred Willie,
"an I waa jeat va nndcrtn' who waa goln' ta
whip you." Ladlea' Home Journal.
PEAR MR. KtiBlbblE
fJH FIANCE ?Ufr WORK To
QO irirO VAUDEVILLE JS HE
Wlr4&) RiqHTp
JEKIMf-H
itS -IF HIS PURPOSE S.TV
WWORhnNJElSI)6iM4-
"How did you contrive ta convinae yoar
wife you could not afford to own an auto
mobile 1"
"Pure luck on my part. She wantad ta
have an old draaa aleanad, and bought a
gallon of gaaollna." Richmond Tlmr.a-Dle-patch.
One a very ahrawa and dlptomatlo out.
prlt waa brought before a Judge In Cleve
land "Ynu era charged," aald tfaa Judga, "with
having rcglatnred Illegally."
"Well, Your Honor, mapondad tha man,
"mayha I did. bin thay were trying an
hard to beat four Honor that I Juat got
deaparett." Cleveland i'leln leaJar.
HoVua Thoae two glrlg uaed to be boaora
(rlenda, and now thay acarcaiy apeak,
fokua What a hia name? Ufa.
Hopper waa growing a muatarhe. Tha
barber welcomed lla appearance and prom
lead to ehave carefully around It.
"A regular baaa hall muetache, that la,"
ha anld.
"What'a that?" Hopper aaked
"Nina hair on a aide." New Tork Tlmae.
During tha rarent Hhakeapeare celebration
a number of local ernateure appeared In tha
great ramatlat a moat famoua tragedy.
Next day the prlnrlpel actor Inquired of a
critical friend what he thought of tha per
formance, "It waa great! dimply greatl" waa the re
ply. "Aa ynu played Hitmlat It waa eaay
to aee why Ophelia ahould go and droavn
heraalf." Koeton 'J'ranecrlpt,
RESIGNATION.
Henry Wadaworth f.ongfllnw.
There la no flock, however watched and
tended,
But one dead lamb la tharal
There la no fireelde, feoweoe'er defended,
But haa one vacant chair!
Tha air la full of farewell i.i tb dying,
And mourning for the dead;
Tha heart of Jlachal, for her children cry.
Ing,
Will not be comforted I
Let ua he patlantl Tbeae aevere affllrtlotu
Not from tha ground arlee.
But oftenltme aekieilal benedlotlona
Aaaume tnia dark dlagula.
We aee but dimly through the mlat ant
vapora
Amid theaa earthly damp.
What aeem to ua but aad, funereal tapera
May b haaven a diatant lainpa.
There la no Death. What aeem to la Lran-
aitlon i
Thla life of mortal breath
Ie but a auhurb of tha Ufa elyalaa
Whoaa portal we call Death.
She la not dead the child of our affec
tion But gone unto that arhool
Where aha no longer naada our poor pro
tection, And Chrlat hlmeelf doth rule.
In that great clolater atlllnaaa and -
olualon.
By guardian angel led.
Safe from temptation, aafa from aln'a pol
lution. She Uvea, whom we called dead.
Day after day we think what ah ta doing
In thoae bright realm of air;
7ar after year, her tender a tape puraulng.
Behold ber grown mora fair.
Tbua do wa walk with her and bp un
broken Tha bond which nature glvea,
Thinking that our remembrance, though
unapokan.
May reach bar where ah Uvea.
Not aa a child ahall wa again behold har
For when with rapturea wild
tn our embrace w again enfuld ber.
She will not ha a child.
But a fair maiden. In her Father'a maturlon.
Clothed with celeatlal grace;
And beautiful with all the eoul'a axpaa
alon Shalt w behold her face.
And though at tlmee lmpatuou with amo
tion And angulah long auppreaaed,
The (welling hart heavee moaning like tha
ocean.
That can not be at rent
W may not wholly etari
W will be patient, and aaauag the feeling
By allenoe aanotlfylng, nut concealing..
The grief thai muet have way.
THE STRONGEST CLAIM
mil VOl It PATRONAfiK IS THK FACT THAT
THE
Woodmen Of the World
AI1F. IMHTniM TINO
OVER 750,000 DOLLARS EVERY MONTH
IS lir VIII I'MIMX Ai liHtlSII ITV ItKNV:! TH
Mi AUK AltiHMJ TO tl It M HI'M H
OVER 250,000 DOLLARS EACH MONTH
lUMi 1MI I.I A4 HIT.
NO (HAliUK ril X 11 ANVridV,
V. A, I'
J T. Y AT :.", Kt- rrtary
UAHKH, President.
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how tfood advertising may he
in other respects it must he
run frequently and constant
ly to he really successful.
tssts