THE BEE: OMAHA, TUESDAY, APRIL 18, 1916.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
Founded by edward rosewater.
VICTOR) ROSKWATER, EDITOR.
Tha Be Publishing Company, Proprietor.
KH Pl ll-MNO, FARNAM AND 8KVKNTKKNTH
Tintered at Omsk postofftc aa second-class matter.
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roHHThfONDKNCIS.
Address communication relating to nawa and dU
tirll mattar to Omaha tW, hnltortal Department!
MARCH C1RCILATION,
56,628 Daily-Sunday 50,628
Dwlshl Wllllama, circulation manager of Tha He
Publishing company being duly aworn, eay that tha
twriin ilreulallnn for Ihe month of Marwh, 111. we
it,,!,: dally and Ut,: Kunday,
DWI'ilIT WIMJAMN, nreulallon Manager,
rhiharribed in my prem and aworn to before m
thla id day of April, IM.
HOUKHT HUNTEn, Notary fublia.
subscribers leaving Ibe elf tem)orni
should liave Tbw Jto nailed to them. A4
lr will be changed m often requested.
Last reminder: "Write it In."
And don't forgot the cross la tho square,
Jla a u re to vote the polls remain open
until t o'clock tonight,
The question of "Wbo-ls-lle" now becomes
Whcrele He,"
It I it a long ballot and bound, therefore, to
be a alow count.
No teat nt a man's personal j'ouularUjr
equals a try-out as race home on the political
track.
It Is blgb time Omaha secured a just and
sellable friend at the railroad, rate making
courts.
A series of forty odd funerals at Parral
solemnly conveyed to the natives the folly of
jriAoklBg gringo guns,
Senator Iiorah's remarks on National Guard
expenditures are sufficiently explicit to warrant
a more extended search of the pay-roll.
Reports of a ruction In Dublin, filtered
through Amsterdam and Berlin, clearly plucks
(he plumes of Kl Paso as a news maker.
The pull for a new Union Depot for Omaha
may be interrupted, but it will be continued
until the depot la landed, no matter bow long
it takes.
Tbe political manager of the Water board
Las about as sweet a temper when be feels bis
grip slipping as haa tbe former democratic aec
rt tary of stale.
Tbe next note of the administration on for
eign affairs will be "nearly but not quite" a
finisher, thus Indicating g mere semicolon in
the conversation.
Mayor "Jim" has been bavlng trouble e
.lalnlng to his friends bow be got over on tbe
other aide of the fence. Well, In the language
o.' Captain Cuttle. "It anybody kin, be kin."
It la the same old story with Fee-grabber
Smith, Wben a public official goes wrong be.
Invariably accuses those wbo helped him Into
office before he forfeited their confidence.
Another certificate of .righteousness, signed
and sesled by "Billy Sunday, has been handed
to John D. Rockefeller. People disposed to
1 Ick op gatiollne prices hhoiild remember that
a stiff price glorifies a good man.
Ily an almost unanimous vote the members
o the League of Women for Belf-Defense de
rided to appropriate trousers as an essential
part of their uniform. War piles horror upon
I orror, but the word Is yet to come,
The very Immensity of the consumption of
coffee by Americans, amounting to 40 per cent
f tbe world's total, calls attention to (he perils
or taking "three cups of coffe," Moderation
n skes for national safety.
Thirty Years Ago
This Day in Omaha
" Poptl4 ft Be rile.
, tun! tiwi iiwvmlritl if tl (mi Tannin
MpiM, I !'- rtttii tin vim (aitiMr tha fit)
I -r i 4 'I ( arc ta h lvi in
ad, lmi ! '( '. I. una cnlr, hi n,
4,h thiol sli, iil t,r a l-t t"n fit-It A at ' ant.
" ei ii-Us M-in th rttri.ilH.ra pf (I. h.m
tits "Hmmf ul tl hKka I'lt .. I 1 ht
a win4 uf ( f t -' Hip ! ro'ita t
t It n f'r a -lt . , tli'n I imm.f . '( tha
lik i li ! t t M t 'trll. !'- t'Ot It,
St t'"ii.i :iai. l ik It MiUi tha
ll.tM Th vli'iiHI. ,ti !. litkilUa
tt j,4 tta,t4 tha t nit... f h in. a f
" t I I l l - !. ttma.
tha tiH !' Hi . and in t mi
l 'ia null tha t.Ml in tt't l
ni.tt a ta na tktuuw h aaat .
if ltts ttt. ff lraajM)l t ItiMW
1 Ma la Klf a - m.s aiiM tl- -s
! ta l a4 It la twi mi h r.
ir . ...i i,y fcuiM a !' ".t I UMm
f t as-4 ( la ta a
tha 4miv4 fif t.l ! la, h l cil ftala
l f HH l ll III .til.i k'M aa
f vf.it, ia tl . tlx . nr ipHk . an
ill i ' li.l4 v if
V.. J It W ihi .i, k,
M linifim. a4 ?ilnf n li.i.ivti w
Uk iV I. llf f
Villa Dead Recall the Troops.
If Francisco Villa Indeed be dead, the mis
sion on which the American forcee entered Mex
ico la accomplished. The bandits have been so
scattered' that their pursuit will bo an almont
unending task, while the death of their leadef
will make their reasHembUgo in a formidable
sroup unllliely. Naturally, some distrust is felt
sc to the tsle so circumstantially reported from
remote Chihuahua, but verification should lead
to tbe recall of the troops under Pernhlng,
Renor Carranaa'a task is thus made much
lighter. His most formidable opposition has
been dissipated as a result of the American
expedition, and It Is now Incumbent on him to
show that he can pacify bis country, restore
older, and again set Mexico on tbe road to
civilization and progress. All cause for com
plaint against him has not been removed, the
Parral Incident being of such nature as will
rtqulre some satisfactory explanation and
proper amend by the provisional government.
Relations between the peoples of the two
countries have not been greatly improved by
recent events, and yet quite a little of hindrance,
in a better understanding has been removed,
the Mexicans of the troublesome sort have now
a better notion of American temper, and the
turbulent amdng them will be inclined more
aurlously to consider casual forays across the
border. Their home troublea are their own,
and constitute the problem Carranza will have
to deal with after bis own fashion.
One Leison for Easter.
The Humane society la quietly moving
against an Easter practice of recent growth,
that of displaying newly hatched cblcka and tbe
giving of them lo children to play with. This
manner, which baa not yet become a custom,
Is objected to because It Is an unnecessary
ctuelly and not in keeping with the true spirit
of Faster. Tbe showing of the newly hatched
chicks In store windows Is bad enough, al
though not especially objectionable, as it is
possible to return the little creatures to the
brooder, and thus preserve them. But the In
jury and death that follows tbelr careless band-
ling by children Is an unmixed evil, Easter is
a celebration of lire; it denotes the rolling
away of the stone, the resurrection and the re
birth, not only spiritually but physically, and Is
the most Important festival of nature as well
as the cburcb, Its teachings ought to be ex
emplified In some other way than through
ciuelty, however unintentional, to any living
thing. Modern Innovations may adorn, but they
have not beautified, Easter, nor made Its
teachings more impressive. 11 us not mar the
thought of the' day by the needless destruction
of life, even of a little t hick,
National Guard and National Sefcnie.
Senator Borah startled the country by his
exposure of tbe maladministration of the ap
propriation made by the general government
for partial support of the National Guard
under the Dick law. His allegations of fact
r.re based on the official records of the War
department, showing the disbursement of tbe
appropriation. He baa exposed a weakness of
the policy that undertakes to maintain tbe Na
tional Ounrd aa a factor in tbe natlonat defense
first line. Tbe service of the Guard, notable
and sincere, is rendered now under conditions
that seriously affect ita efficiency and abso
lutely prevent its being developed to anything
like Its possibilities. In Nebraska, for example,
the officers and men who make up the National
Guard organization find themselves compelled
to pay heavily In actual cash for the privilege of
serving the state and pcrbapa tbe nation,
tnder circumstances as they actuslly exist, it is
Impossible to properly maintain the Guard, and
it Is a most convincing evidence of tho patriotic
enthusiasm of the men who wear the uniform
that we have any National Guard at all. Sena
tor Rorah's disclosure may have the effect of
bringing legislation that will relieve the Na
tional Guard of difficulties that now beset it,
and advance it toward tbe place of a real vol
inteer army. If we are not to have a genuine
nutlonal army for national defense, we should
go as far as possible to making the National
Guard effective.
General Staff for the Nary,
The Navy League of the United States Is
Hiking for the establishment of a general staff
for the navy, similar to thst of the army, and
charged with similar duties and responsibilities.
This Is a commendable plan, and ought to b
carried out ttlthout titinwcsrisry delay. Too
It ng have we been exposed to the ever-present
dtmger of Josephua Daniels reMsnlng, d thus
having the navy of the United States flat on Its
Hck, Otherwise there Isn't ninth need for the
general staff. The army has a general staff,
and a war college. Its adUee was asked by the
sirretary of war on the point of general na
tional defense. The reply was submitted lo the
president, snd In due course to congresa. Rut
the president, veteran of many a hard campaign
on (be campus, had plans of bis own: so did the
genttenisn front Podunk. and members from
t.ther equally Important tenters of world s' tlv
Ity, and the defense plans of the army general
staff went Into the discard. Would a naval
Stnetal ataff fare any better? If you think It
wtuld. reall what baa actually happened since
the queMlon f national dfene became acute.
Kvery irlle American wlt a taste for Int
nor art alll hall with Joy flntstor Huwt da,
e.anl fur a hither d'Stee of preparedncua In
tbe kilrhea, t oming d ia Hi bra lacks, tha
tat nad l national safaty ll ta a kitchen
ale.vatrtr filled with munlUtia Inttlltgoetlr
(Kited and ready ! st.
la the hatl'ler d Out ate tmud t mm
wkew fa- btol er is wertd. Ilk a fa
-It tine. k thniM U turn ,t h primary
tittim tkal thai ar all rt lit a well a l.ft
SaMr wafts a aji-sj ftf a snk.
M In ' t IM law still ral 't
Nist tha hit,'Oi sa t tp-va nf i tti. ! ,
tilt); Ivk retuttv ta Wairr fafl. k liaawu
Ita inil.i), (rem I- if.ia. if rrt!aa
rt'iuit "'
V kit Vr lna tna ai.t 1 hta
HM ' IS hi'l tl, t,. i.ti fart, k b
Itlv4 lulnraMt all th. lb f ri, .!
ill ui.ti f Hv ahdtiala be Ka f-j fMtt eij f-.f.
How to Judge Diamonds
utrary Sia-ast.
TIIK flnent diamond, we are told by a writer In
th flclonllflc Amerli'an Hupplenient, "are to ba
found only In the trr-amire vault of prlncea."
Occanlonally, however, the plain cltlwn may have
l.oth th" desire and the mean to piircliaie a atone of
A lower cla, and the writer above (pioted conde
scends to throw out a few hints to a.", aueh, Fault
that affect dlamonda. In common with other precious
atones,' are of three kind, we are tol.:-th Inclualon
of forelsn mlnerala, gaa or molature-porea, and tho
smnll flasures called "feathers." Inclualon In th
diamond nro uaually coal or araphll. When visible,
to the naked eya thny are called "sand," but when
mliroacoplo they arc termed "dual," and sometimes
form "cloud" that Impair the, trannparency and the
color. When they appear In atreaka' or silky layers,
they ara called "flax." Oas or moisture- pores also
causey clouding, or "flass," but they may have tho
further effnet of srlvlng to the Interior of the stone a
porotia appearance,
Th writer any: "In purchasing diamonds on
should slways makn use of th microscope, not tha
masnlfylng alius of th Jeweler, but one of a power
of ten U twenty, for then one can find fault In In
clusions, polishing, etc, even with stones sdvertlseo
s microscopically pure,
"As Is self-evident, th value of a diamond de
pends upon Its weight. The determination of weight
Is dlff'cult when It Is tn Ita settlna. I'rof. August
Ttnelwtil hn made up from his own measurements
labia of sizes for small stones
'The second factor to value, la ouailty, snd Is tho
result of purity of color. Diamonds na commercial
product r divided Into everl grle In point of
ouailty, snd the gradce are generally denominated
first, second and third water.
"A diamond of th flrat water must oe entirely
colorless snd transpsrent, without any Inclusion or
flaw: It Is of lb second water If It Is colorless with
small but unimportant faults, or If It Is without faults
but with soma trace of color: and third water If It la
colorless but with larger faults, or If It Is distinctly
colored. The correct valuation Is therefor very dif
ficult snd often subject to the Jcwaler's Judgment
For this reason I'rof, ItnalwaJ give to th layman
th following hlnls: HI one of Ihe first water sr
carried only by th highest class Jewelers. Tho rnl
alt Is perfect lack of color, or what Is i.iora highly
prlncil-a tinge of blue, In general, beautifully colored
diamonds command fabulous prices and sro to b
found only In th trrsauro vsulls of princes,
"rltone of the second wster are numerous, They
ar supposed to he mlcroscoplcslly pure, hut almost
always ahow some Inclusions. There sre oftentimes
traces of yellow color In this grade, snd because th!s
csn be seen best In sunlight one should never buy
diamonds st night, for the prevailing lights cause
stones that are even noticeably yellowish to appear
clear. Most of the stones of the ordinary market sre
of the third quality, Snd the dealers try to cover tip
their faulls by combining them Into groups for border-stones
or for the popular pendants, diamond
hearts, marquise rings, etc, While they may be color
less, they are often so full of flaws thai iney would
be ranked as 'bort,' or diamonds good only for me
chanical purposes, If there had not bun such a de
mand for th gem as to Incretts th price,
"An effort to standardize the value of diamonds
was made thirty years asoand for stones of the dif
ferent waters up to three carats the proportions were
set-flret water, W; second water, S3, snd third water,
as. Today, thanks to the demand for ;ewl , by
Americs, th first water has, risen to some three
time thst ratio, The European prices for a one
carat slon are from ivx) to f0 111 10 In 178) and U'
and $2oo for Inferior stone. Trimming stones that
are quite small under one-eighth caret bring from
their commonness perhaps 111") a carat. In thla coun
try the price are somewhat higher, diamonds of the
first water going up to nearly imO a carat. In this
country also for a year or more the weighing has
been by 'hundredths,' one hundred hundredths being
equivalent to a carat."
Twice Told Tales
I'rolonsln; the 4 soar
Her lad h! Joined the army. Tomorrow he wss
starting for camp snd his preliminary training. Boon
-ah, who could sy-h might be starting for that
pla"e of mystery and mud -I he front,
Tender farewells wer the order of the day, or
rather night, and slowly Maud and Harry bade each
other a fond adieu by the hut stand ,then on the door
mat, snd now they neie repeating It on the doorstep.
In the dining room father was pacing to snd fro,
anxiously and angrily trying to estimate the coat of
Ihe gas bill In these hard limes. Ulngerly he opened
the door and listened,
"Answer me, Maud answer me!" cam In guesty
whisper from Harry's manly throat. "Answer me
now, dartlnar. I van bear thla suspense no longer."
"Tea, answer him, Maud," camo an appealing cry
from the dining room. "1 run bear this expense no
longer." I'lttabuign Chronlcle-TeluKraph.
Live and Leara,
The aeathetlc houneholdt r. whose noatrlla had been
offended by tho odor arlalng front a torn-up street
went out to remonstrate with the workmen who were
digging under his dining room window.
"I shall complain to Ihe authorities,'' he said. "I
have, never been Used to such smells."
"Never mind, governor," aaid the overseer, "You'll
have plenty of time to get used to them before we
have finished."
Jest Mnlllnj Arnanil.
Colonel K M. House was talking about f.uropu in
war time.
"They're telling a wartime alorv In (xmdon wow,"
ha said. "It s a story about an Imliv Wlual In flashy
dress, who stood mi a crowded corner In the Mtrand
for such a long time that a policeman finally gut
r-iMucltiua, '
" 'Wot r you walun' around i for?' he aked,
' Wnitin' f.r a bus.' the man replied Hh union.',
" 'Ham' said the policeman. More n tnty
husse 'aa gen by since nu'va been allln' 'era'
" 'I ktinw,' said the man. uuh. a mink, 'but n.if th
one ilh Ihe pretty conductor on, nie buy.' ' Vti.
tnsti it Hi.h
Pcoplo and Events
lliutnti talvrnacte, lum UMy mhl sv Ht enter
tain. Is planned tu seat ) , and :" It iall
f,ir In ( i,ta n. th entsipitsr The Huh Hius "tint)
tlmn fr a tlian.e i i uc
r h . -trwcuiinn h In tt urn a ! f.m, ui in
I'aiwmr h Ml t. u lull Iklll i..n.l I. Int i . I
hand ! i n the !.( 4t, ,wii and I In . it
bt la. t tt!mti4 sirHios ait tittii.tv iUvrsti,. f- r
.iii.iiirr . dun iimi ciii n l.ia
l'l iftel t, W Is i hub lit oiig l-it a i 'int
rtitr f t(M l, t i.iii , ter in lair) ' tKstit.
i.ah t T' i- imei ti.n a l hi. a lata
i' a lbs tr li I " tr. t t t"M mmf is a
ti.. t. ) t ! !' iiii a ' a t t
Ptr
'I ttn h 4 s) h la bis uli na
fm t (nial 4-.ni t t a t set t ta S. I
Sea tt I'nt ihtm-a K tiuil i ,,.g i.ihs
hi Wsbir .... r It taw la a "!
Sill'r ., .... ahul-rl Si H.i t ti
tui T Ii '-' y lit i-iu . hi iti,
f Nil twta ihi
!' ta an I s i i ns t a ! i a
14 mo l't. l i ! t t I'll' itm' it. a
-4 Int t' a S ! t it i J. ?.,
Iih Ih i li.att I ti k't t-l . tM. -
i4 ii, .in:'. ti ti t .r v.i"i if-..t
a . 1 1 Uh lit r t si. 4t4 l.tr
t i hah i i-im. I f las . h,, ! ..ni t.
w St Ii n4 K I us ii. a
S'-'-u ....t t K. ...t. tf a; ....
a..,t i ! I ,.! a two takw I i .
f t 4 t i t - '." ' " S..t ! . 4
st a-O1 K r i li- i fifiv aiu tts is m
. . Mill t , l I ! t- I '
f'e pa redness,
CENTRAL CITY, Neb., April 17.-To
the Editor of The Fice: This military
craze I pouring In like a flood sweeping
us off our feet at a lime when we ought
to be founded firm on the spirit of "gov
ernment by tho people" a majority of
tho people and not by a minority who
may be ethically wrong.
We believe In majority rule and wa be
lieve that It I the right and duty of the
people to reason out what will be beet
for them and stsnd sgnlnst minority
rule, even though It Is advocated by
those who feel that they are "higher up."
A thrilling photo piny has been staged
called "The flattie fry of Peace." It
shows th destruction of New York nd
the dovastatlon of th defenceless coun
try." And for what purpose but to make
the people of the rflle nervous snd scare
them Into calling for a tremendous mili
tary preparation "for defense."
folks, unless w set our face against
thla "call to arms" we shall raise up a
restless spirit of aggression that will
sweep u on to "glory" and power, and
then to decay, snd the "Field of th Cloth
of fiold" becomes a holocaust of death.
I,t lis be ready to offer our children on
the alter of liberty, but not one to the
god of war or the preps rat Ion for war.
W. H. CAMPBKM
Rsplaaatlon of the Stair Treasnree.
I.INf'OI.N, April ir.-To the Kdltor
of The Be; The statement has been
mad a number of time from various
source that at Ihe time the Hiate Board
of Assessment made the slate levy for
IBM I ws opposed to the reduction of the
levy 1 mill, which reduction cut the taxes
down for tbe taxpayers of the state a
little over IKO.OOO,
I want the taxpayers to have tho propet
understanding regairdlng that levy, and
want to refute aJl statement to tho ef
fect that I opposed the reduction.
Iturlng July snd August, up to the time
of this' mnetlng, the Board of Equaliza
tion had been having dally meetings for
the consideration of the duties which
enm before It. There had not been any
discussion st sny of the former meetlngit
aa to the making of the levy for the year
If 1 15. At th time this levy was made I
was engaged In a Normal board meeting,
In session In th cspltol building, snd hod
asked to bo excused from the Boand of
Assessment, unless something new should
come up, under which circumstances J
requested that I be notified. Iturltig my
absence the board took up the state levy
and did not give me any notice that they
wer going to act upon that question and
mke the levy t mill lower than for th
years 191 and 1IM1.
Now, to the reasons for the reduction
of Ihe levy: I hsv confidential Informa
tion, snd resson to believe, that It wss
becue of my success In getting th
county tressurers to remit tofne monthly
Instead of annually or semi-annually. I
had collected the state funds from nearly
sll of the county treasurers and had paid
the state's debts, snd wss keeping the
current expenses paid. At the time there
wss a balance of over tfO.OOO In the gen
eral fund, a larger balance than had
been In that fund for many years, but
that was the fund which must he used
for the running expenses for th rest of
th year 19IA, and until that year's taxes
had commenced coming In,
It would look to som like thern wa no
us for, ItflO.OOO In the general fund, and
that the state levy could be reduced thst
mtioh anil still take cor of the dobt
for another year. If It hail not, been for
my success In getting the county treas
urers to remit to me monthly the reduc
tion of the levy 1 mill would have en used
severe suffering and loss to the state.
The state would hsve gone deeper In debt
and would have paid more Interest on
the debt.. I therefore want the taxpay
er to know thst I not only did not op
pose that reduction, out did not have a
t hane to oppose It because It was msds
In my absence.
During my administration I have col.
lented Interest on bank deposits and frrtm
other sources IIOS.OOO more than wss col
lected snd turned Into the general fund
for the corresponding period two yeiira
ago, If It were not for this the state
general fund would be overdrawn right
now, because there I now In the gen
eral fund only 1101,000. I hope to be able
throughout my administration to keep
the state general fund from being over
drawn and having to register any war-
ants. a VX HA LI
Signs of Progress
Hloux f'tty cast ,3t7 vote st the recnt
rity election, the randidnles for miyor
combined making the high figure.
Mattrassea and pillows used In Ihe
fnllecl Wales navy U1 In Ihe future be
filled with kapok, a vest-table finer
which Is HsM snd buoyant.
St. Jo plans as fen turn of It
"dreoaiip-cleanup ek," a strict rara-le
of bahlea. fur which seventy are already
entered, Kvery dad la espnled tu set
In the puh and "point allh pride."
A portable eleotrte radiator, tn appear,
a nee like a straui radiator, which has
been Invented, Is rnmpned of high
realaiani cull, submerged In an liisulal
Inf. rnmfreeung liquid which circulates
when rlrctrlilly I tinned iniu and hri
th vnil.
line tif th niitim km.ici of h
aalian lUn.i W tall, the output i..r im
saving ben ISM tun, valued at k a Inn
M..M f ht sail .r..,l t. in th ttian Is
la th output of th II. .ii.. I', W al vim.
f c), '!.. rl' I Is t-.oflut tn e-iaiM
eult ami ianvifi'tur entlialy k eat,
lit! . .. 111,11, 11. 1 . .!., Ill fl, k -
l't i-i S' ' t'li'S t
A I l i a lli,lii flint It t. nt'i (if
ffif.l a ilir Is. Inirnl-I lt
reflit till. ,.a nf tit a M'ti.'t'l ly
iriWi lUw t.g .-it.ui.t .f a itiil pU-
hi a ! IS li.t ii i,.ii. If tin i
I J it.tt a Hi it i at mi t a
li. . ' rt.ia hhks m. th't
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Editorial Snapshots
Indianapolis News: If, as ta asserted
by the National Association of Clothiers,
there la no dependence to be placed on
Various colorej garmente because of the
shortage of dyrstuff. the thing to do Is
for the people who have the knack of
such things to start a fashion that re
quire well-dressed people to wear gar
ment of natural eolors-and It wouldn't
hurt 'cm a bit to do so,
Philadelphia Ledger: In "two week"
It I reported Bryan has split the demo
cratic parly of Nebraska In two, but this
Is a mere Incident to his splitting the
party at large, which I his latest con
tribution to political unpreparedness,
Detroit Free press: An eastern pro
fessor says thst of 4,04.1 American mil
lionaires whose biographies he has exam
ined all but twenty started In life as poor
boys, A lot of the poor boys that didn't
become millionaires hsve been mighty
useful to their country, too,
Phllndelphla Record: The New York
magistrate who hold poker to be not
gambling, but "gentleman1 game'r may
fltft In corroboration the experience of a
Kentucky J iry. Games of chance being
proscribed by the taw, the defense set up
was thst poker wa not a game of chance,
but of skill. A "si ruck" Jury of six
adept In the game and six Innocents was
shut In a room sll night. In the morning
the adopts had every cent of the money
of the Innocent, and the Jury found
unanimously that roker wa a game of
skill.
Ihlously. "and I sues I could chew It.
hut I couldn't swallow t."-Phllndelphla,
I.!g';r.
The Professor I'm afraid, my clear
younu lady, tlmt you flnt siaiiMi'
dry things.
The lenr Young l-ady-Nnt always
Motitenitnt Pmvth told me there were
tAMVO J,000 p,.(iple In the word, and I
was the prcttlcxt Irl of the lot London
opinion.
MIRTHFUL REMARKS.
"Whv do you object to my marrying
your daughter!"
"Because you enn't support her In th
style to which sho has been accustomed
till her life,"
"How do you know I csn't? I ran start
her on bread and milk, same a you did,
New York Times,
"What a beautiful sunset!"
"Yes," replied tha Intensely practical
man, "Isn't It fierce to sea nil those
colors going to wnste: and my business
threatened by the ahoriaiia In dyestuffa?"
Washington fetar.
"All I can do Is Just love yon."
Thus warbled the young lady to her
lean,
"That seems to fill the Mil now, dnugh
trr," cautioned the wise mi fier, "but you
may have to do a little c inking nod disii
WMshlng after you marry the young man.
-Jliltlmore Ameiienn.
Utile Oeorge was having lunchein at
Mrs. t'arey's.
"Wouldn't you like another piece of
cske, dear?" asked the hostess,
"Yes, I would," replied Ooorge, d:i-
hAR MR. kABIBBLE,
WHEN r Ybb AW WlHER X
ACEWAINVDUNHE
A&ED ME IF H WAS A
PIPIT SMOteR. WHV WO My
FAtHER ASk THAT f
For cirAR reasons f
w
"Mercy!" rjrtculnt d young Mr. Kidder,
In the midst of her reading. "Here Is
sn account of a woman who sold her
bnbv for M cents."
"Oh, well," returned Iter bachelor
brother, who at sundry times cared for
tho children while his slater went shop,
pi H. "all k'nds of wlinlli are beln
workrd nowaday." Kansas City Htar.
FOLLOWING TIIE WAR MAPS.
When tha Kaiser and Ilussla decided to
scrap, . . ,
The iran in the street went and purchase J
a map. . ,
When Austria Joined with her Teutonic
brother,
He went out end hastily purchased an
other. When the great German army began to
advance,
lie found he must purchase a scale map
of France.
Hut their way lay through Belgium audi
Luxemburg, ton,
Ho the in i s on his walls were augment!
by two,
When Britain cam In he added to these
A map of the Hellish, possession and
seaa.
The Terrible Turk Joined tho Kaiser's)
fighting force,
Which meant maps of Turkey and Persia
of course,
Then Duly, taking a hand in th game,
Obliged him to hang up a map of the
same.
He had maps on four walls on the wln-
lowa snd door,
When the Balkans broke loose he bat
maps on the floor,
To most neutral countries both sides are
appealing,
Ho he making arrangements to "mat
out" the celling.
And If the war theater continue lo
grow,
And there' not a spot for a new imp
to go,
He'll lke all his war maps snd neatly
he'll pile 'em
Cm hi oulat little grave near the local
asylum.
HAM I,. MortRIr).
(nrR ait
nmvi
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