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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (March 21, 1916)
TIIE BEE: OMAHA, TUESDAY, MAIICH 21, 1916.
TEE OMAHA EVENING BEE
' POt'NDKn RY EPWARO koskwater.
VICTOR ROSKWATER, EDITOR.
The Be rubllsnlns; Company, Proprietor.
OmHAIi I'Al'KU OF THK CITV OF OMAHA.
OFFICIAL FAiTKR, FPU IHHJOIAS OOCNTV"
. ISPrUTt KVKRT AFTKRNfXN KXCF7PT WTTNPAT.
PFB Bl'ILPINO, FARNAM AND FKVF.NTF.ENTH,
Entered at Omaha poatofflca a aecnnd-claas matter.
TERMS Or PUBSCRirTTOM.
By carrier By mall
per month. per year.
; Pailv and Sunday the 00
Pally without Sunday 4 TO
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imrtajr Re only 2Hr on
1'ally and Sunday Bee. three veers In advance. . tlO. 00
Send notice of churi of adirea or lrregulerlty In
: delivery to Omat'a He. Circulation rvpartment.
Omsns The Bee Btilldtr.g.
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Lincoln': Little Building.
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W a ahln at on 72T Fourteenth street. N. W.
Address communications relating to news and edi
torial matter to Omaha iri, Kdltorlal 1epartmant.
FKBnt ARY CIRCULATION,
! 54,328 Daily Sunday 50,639
Pwlfht Williams, elrculstlon miniftr of Tha Baa
' Publishing eomptnr. being duly aworn. aaya that tha
mn circulation for tha month of February, 1111,
! aaa (4.1:8 dally and M' Sunday.
DWIOHT V71I.IJAMS Circulation Mintor.
Suberrlbed In my preeenoe and aworn to before
ma. thla Id day of March, !!)
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public
Subscribers leaving tba city- temporarily
tbouki have Tha Be mailed to tueco. Ad
dreaa will b chanced at often a rrjaatd.
Eiperts in political timber hereabouts bave
no kick coming on tha acore of quantity.
Naturalisation few grabbing is bo Jobs, but
tha air of martyrdom attached to It la the fu li
nt eat scream In tha political movies.
Bec-etary Pool decides that W. J. Bryan la
a democrat. Official assurances, however, do
not solve the mystery: "What Is a democrat?"
After figuring so prominently over bere, Dr.
Bernard Dernburg ought at least to ' keep us
posted to where he ! and what be la doing.
The enlarged army bill will Just bave to go
through cow to make sure that every officer,
who goes Into Mexico, Is rewarded with promo
tion. Omaha still has the problem of garbage dis
posal to meet and it will not be solved by any
temporary make-shift, for the benefit of bog
Democrats should understand without delay
that kicking against Brother Charley insures
the tarn brand of cold storage to which gold
democrat were assigned twenty years ago.
Only two offices In the whole county Hat are
conspicuous by the absence of a double-header
or better. The compliment Is distinctly flatter
ing to the county udge and county surveyor. ;
... By the same method of computing, the bene
volent railroads bave saved their passengers
millions by letting them ride for S cents a mile
Instead of charging 3 cents a mile as formerly.
Why are those new municipal Judgeships
proving so tempting as compared with the old
Judicial Jobs? Can it be merely because their
possibilities hare not been fully explored and
The fee graft business has scored a record
breaking week. If "Bob" could only keep np
that tSO-a-day clip a little longer, ha would
have a campaign slush fund big enough to
swamp all competitors.
The first pledge that was to be redeemed
when Omaha acquired its water worka was the
promise to divorce the management of the plant
completely from politics but the water office
has been nothing but a political outfitting point
The voice of Charley Schwab Jotna the
. f horus of other ateel magnates in protest
Kgalnst the United States manufacturing its
own armor plate. No magnate cheerfully lets
go of a good thing, and Schwab is no excep
tion to the rule. '
Speaking of gas, if the Ttltchcock-brewery
.combine can Inflate the "Who-ia-He" balloon
enough for a successful flight in the primaries,
it will be proof that artificially fermented
dough-bubble have more propelling power than
au naturelle hot air.
Our democratic friends seem to be par
ticularly apprehensive lest Nebraska send a
Hughes delegation to the Chicago convention.
The one thing our friends, the political enemy,
do not want is the nomination of Hughes be
cause they know that then It will be over for
the democrats excepting the mourning.
Thirty Years Ago
This Day in Omaha
Cewptlaa fraa Saa fUae.
Prof. Simon O. Pratt of Chicago, wall known
musical director, la In Omaha making arrangement
for a grand opera festival here tn June. Ita had a
session with the manager of tha t? position building
and propoeea to furnish tha music, tha soloists, a part
of tha orchestra and drill tha chorus for a guaranty of
ts.we. Anions thoaa whom Prof. Pratt propoaea to
bring to Omaha for tha festival Is Miss Kmlly Wy.
uant. Ha la figuring on four performances, Including
C. E. Russell, formerly advertising editor on Tha
Ke and now editor of the Detroit Tribune, la here en
a visit with his wife.
Bank cleartnga for the last week, aa reported by
Manager Hughee of the clearing house, aggregated
U.S3.4M, as compared with Sl.ftft.ot7 for the corre
sponding weak last year, belug an increase af
The Colon Pacific Is advertising for bids to build
bridges oer tha Blue river and Fancy creek.
C. E. Mayne, the real estate man at Fifteenth and
Farnarn. la advertising sixteen lota In Redlrk'a Grove
Thomas N'eashan. chairman of tha executive com
inlr.ee of the Knights of I -or. Is In the rily, reg
istered from Drover
Ida Young Men's Hebrew txxlal club had a pleas
ant danHng parly at 1. Vila's hall, attended by abjut
Along- the Southern Berder.
The presence of the AmeHcn army In M ex
tra haa tightened the tension that has existed
along the so nth era border for several years,
but has so far engendered nothing of friction
that might have been expected. The Carraa
slsta authorities hare succeeded well la keeping
order, even the more turbulent of the Mexicans
seeming to be under due restraint for the time
being, at least. Many stories are being sent
north, commenting on the situation and con
taining vague hints of lurking trouble, but In
the consideration of these statements due allow
ance muRt be made for exaggeration natural
under conditions that exist. Most of them are
based on partial or one-sided statements, and
while all contain some elements of fact, none of
them are more than Indicative of an extremely
unfriendly feeling, an experience the border has
known of for nearly a century. The Orlngo has
never been a popular figure in Mexico.
Another point must not be lost sight of. In
terests concerned in the defeat of Carransa
were not placated by the official recognition
given him, nor have they ceased their activity
because of such action by our government.
Whatever Influence these factions have is
likely to be for the time exerted la fomenting
strife. It is unfair to the ctentlflcos to Insinuate
that they are In any way responsible for the
mad acts of Pancbo Villa, but it would be mor
than human if they did not take advantage of
the chance thus presented to embarrass Car
ransa. Mexico Is far from being pacified, and
the first chief yet has a great deal of earnest
work ahead of him to quiet his country.
Both Mr. Wilson and Sen or Carranza will
earnestly strive to keep the peace, and a little
patience on our part now, after years of trial,
may result in avoiding a serious clash with
Not Ragging Jmt Insisting.
A valued Jeader of The Bee who has been
retired on a pension by the Union Pacific,
writes to ask:
"Why Is It your paper keeps nagging the Vnlon
Pacific Railroad company? Would It nut be a good
Idea to drop this nagging' and get a live wire after
soma other railroad llne,a entering Omaha, who claim
to be Omaha's friends and ask for Omaha's buetnee,
but, at tha aame time, ar axalatlng the building up
of small, nearby, rival towna?"
We fear our correspondent has wholly mis
conceived the agitation for a new depot, which
Is primarily directed at the Union Pacific only
because, as the landlord for all the other rail
roads, it must take the responsibility for mak
ing Omaha put up longer with the present In
adequate and outgrown station.
It Is true the Union Pacific haa done a great
deal for Omaha, but so has Omaha done a great
deal for the Union Pacific. Our people voted a
bond subsidy that built the bridge across the
river and donated the depot site and trackage
which the Union Pacific haa been canning In
ever since in the form of rentals from the other
roads. The revenue which the Union Pacific
has had from Its Omaha terminals in the last
fifteen years would more than pay for the new
depot and help pay for the new bridge besides.
If other railroads, which bave done as much
for Omaha, also get business out of Omaha,
that still does not Justify the Union Pacific any
more than the others withholding what we are
entitled to. On the contrary, the fact that
other cities are having better treatment at the
hands of tbe railroads really strengthens our
If the Dutch Go to War.
The talk of war between Germany and Hol
land over the sinking of the Tubantla may end
la talk, but the presence of Holland la the war
on the aide of tbe Allies would be a matter of
serious concern for Germany. So far the
strict neutrality of the Dutch has been a factor
of supreme importance In the course of the
conflict, as It wss a most vital and even de
termining Influence at the outset. The strategic
Importance of the mouth of the Scheldt la un
derstood by all, and Us passage In August, 114,
would have turned the course of the war. But
the Dutch preserved their Integrity and main
tained their neutrality. This has been done at
considerable expense, for their army has been
mobilised since the opening of hostilities, and
at present it Is estimated that the additional ex
penses of Holland because of the war have
teached a total of $140,000,000. The Dutch
have felt this, and are not In a mood to lightly
brook) offense from a belligerent neighbor, es
pecially one that has profited through their
neutrality as Germany has.
Moreover, the Dutch frontier would make
accessible to the Allies the heart of Germany,
and would seriously modify, the entire situation
so far as defensive operations by the kaiser's
army are concerned. To add that length of
front to the trenches, as well as to expose all
the Industrial centers of the Rhine valley to at
tack would greatly Increase the German task.
None understand this better than the Germans,
and none will likely do more than the Ger
mans to avoid a rupture with a neighbor on
whose friendship so much depends.
Tom Taggart and the Toga.
"Tom" Taggart will soon be sworn In as a
senator of the United States, the death of Sen-
tor Shlvely having cleared the way for the ap-
po'nttnent of the big boas of Indiana to that high
office. His presence at Washington In his new ca
pacity will certainly be an Inspiration to all whr
nave me gooa or rree government at heart. As
great a champion of the doctrine of "let the peo
ple rule as any, he la chief engineer of the most
active and corrupt political machine that ever
operated In Indiana. His record Is written In
tbe annals of tbe courts of his state, which show
tbe most flagrant abuses of the franchise ever
exposed by prosecution, committed by the ma
chine of which Tom Taggart waa the central and
controlling figure. It is only a few days since
he waa Indicted because of personal participa
tion in these acts. When he dons the toga.
Daniel W. Voorbees, Thomas A. Hendricks,
"Blue Jeans- Williams and other fathers of the
democratic party In' Indiana will turn in their
tombs. But Taggart haa been as "regular" as
Mr. Bryan, and he la quite within the Bryan
definition of "a deserving democrat."
The appointment of Tom Taggart to the
United States senate is a deserved recognition
of a party hustler skilled in tbe peculiar meth
oda for which Indiana politics is famous. The
promotion is much more desirable than that
which the Marlon county grand Jury sought t
confer on hiui..
Great Caesar Did
The Greatest Thing
THE Julian rear Is a period of MV4 days, which
waa adopt d by order of Julius Caaer upon ad
vine of Astronomer Soaigenes to represent the
true length of tha year.
Before Caesar's tuna tha Roman calendar waa in
great confusion, largely baewUM tha priest Insisted
upon reckoning time by the moon, and upon trying
to adjust tha months, mewatirwiS by tha mot tons of
the moon to the year, measured by tha apparent mo
tion of the sun. But the two systems could not be
Tha at-aeons were thrown Into confusion to sat
isfy the demands of superstition, and whole months
were arbitrarily Inenrted Into, or dropped out of. dif
ferent years In a vain effort to make Inconsistent
things Jibe. Then came Julius Caesar, one or '.he
greatest exercisers of common sense that the world
has ever seen, and brought order out of confusion.
After having tha astronomers clearly explain tha
sources of tha trouble to him, he commanded, to be
gin with, that tha moon should be thrown out of
court as a common disturber, and that the length
nf tha year should henceforth be reckoned solely by
the apparent annual revolution of tha sun, which, as
we know, la a result of the real revolution of the
earth around tha arm aa a center of motion.
Tha astronomers already knew that thla period waa
about tt days, and Caesar decreed that that ehoulJ
be taken aa tha basis of a new calendar.
To avoid tha Inconvenience of using a fraction of a
day he fixed SOS days as tha length of ordinary years,
adding one day to every fourth year, and thua making
that year M days, to strike a balance. Thla was the
origin of "leap year." Then he swung the whole year
round so that It ahould begin on the 1st of January
Instead of tn March, as had been tbe custom there
Ha also arranged the length and order of the
months, although some of his successors also took a
hand In thla. Tha number ef tha months was twelve,
but they were divorced from the Incompatible moon,
which was left to rove romantically among them, as
she la doing today. In shifting the year backward, so
that tha beginning of aprlng might fall in March, when
tha flowers coma forth, Caesar had to Insert two tem
porary months, between November and December, In
tbe first year of his calendar, and that produced,
for the time bejng, confusion and grumbling, but the
man "who did bestride the little world like a colos
sus" paid no attention to tha grumblers.
But now Caesar did something which betrayed thu
fact that after all ha waa only a man, with soma of
tha common human weaknesses; he seised upon the
month which had been called Quintals (the' fifth when
March waa tha first) aa a perpetual memorial of him
self and ordered that Ita name should be July, from
And Just aa when one boy takes a slide another
Immediately follows In his tracks, so Julius' sucoessor.
Augustus, considering what his uncle had done and
belle-ring himself to he an equally great roan, deter
mined to have a month also, and ha took the next
In order, Rextllia, and named It August. But. since
July had thirty-one days and his month only thirty,
Augustus filched a day .com February and added It
to Auguat. so that his name ahould cover as broad a
space on tha year's face as did that of tha man wio
had founded his empire.
Bo, whan ww wonder how February came to be ro
short that even In leap year aha cannot attain tha
full stature of her sisters, wa read the explanation In
the vanity of a Roman emperor.
The Julian reform of tha oalandat embodied a alight
error The true length of tha year is not 991, days,
r 1SJ days hours, but It Is SB days I hours at min
utes and 4M4j seconds, so that tha Julian year was 11
minutes 14H seconds too long. In lSgs, which waa 1.47
years after Caeaar had reformed tha calender, tha
vernal equinox, marking the beginning of tha astro
nomical aprlng, had fallen back on tha calendar ten
whole deye. Than a pope, Gregory XIII., took the
matter In hand, and with the advice of tha astronomer
Clavlus made a new adjustment, which servee us yet
Ha dropped tan days of of tha year is and. to
avoid another similar disjolntment, ordered that hence
forth leap year should .ha omitted In every century
which la not devisable by 400. Thua 1T0O, MOO and 1W0
were not leap years, but 2000 wttl be a leap year. This
change of tha rule will am floe to keep tha calendar
from drifting more than one day astray in tha course
of S.0CS years to eoroe. But thla la only a modification
of the Caesar's system, and tha Julian year, tK days.
Is still In common use.
In astronomy, for historical purposes, the Julian
year la always used In accordance with a syatem In
vented by Joseph Soellger In 15M. whloh a tarts from
January J, 4TU B. C. By this reckoning tha year MIS Is
tha Julian year 66.
Twice Told Tales
Wkat MlaJatere B
Soma of the visiting ministers have told eome good
stories about ona another durlnv h T.m..-.
alonary Movement convention here. Thla Is ona that
waa nanoea to nev. nugn U Barlaaon:
A young eouple earns Into his rooms Just as ha waa
going to begin service la tha church and asked him
to marry them. Ha said If they would wait unUl after
tha service ha would give them a public wedding.
After tha benediction, he announced: "Now, will
thoaa persons wishing to be married please coma for
ward." It la recorded In the story that eleven women
and ona man answered te the call.
An offset to that story ts ona told by Dr. Alonso
R. Petty of a woman who waa before a Judge asking
for a divorce. The Judge leaned over his deak and aald
ta tha woman:
"Madam, how long did you know this man before
yes ware married V
"Tour honor." aha aald. "I waa acquainted with
hlra for eighteen months, but I never really knew htm
until I asked him for a dollar."-San Diego Union.
glat Vale a Stales.
The soldier was telling the workman about a battle
that ha had onoa been In that had lasted from
o'clock In tha morning until 7 o'clock at night. His
description waa moat graphic, and he became very en
thuetastic. "Tbere'a one thing I can t understand
about tha story." aald the workman, alowly. when he
had finished. "Tou say that tha battle began at i
o'clock tn tha morning and lasted until 7 o'clock at
"Tea. that's so." waa the reply.
"Well." retorted tba workman, "the uniona mould at
aland for auch hours nowadays "-Sn Francisco Argo
ttaut. People and Events
A bunch of bad boys In a small Jersey town,
caught la tha act of making a bonfire of a barn ware
penalised by doing aix days' work sweeping streets,
picking up rubbish and sprucing up the school yard a
Tha Job shriveled their pride and banlahed tha heroic
A long and a hot chase by university students re
sulted la tha capture of Philadelphia's notorious "peep
ing Tom," Robert Farrow. When pebble tossed
against bedroom windows faUed to bring the scenery
desired, Fvrrow gave an Imitation of a oat fight, whtoj)
la variably brought tha goods to tha windows.
Sartorial artists of Bt. tieuls some months ago In
vited tha rest of the world to contemplate cosmopolitan
Mtsaourlans arrayed In purple trousers, lavender vests,
drab Tuxedos and reck Ilea te match. Fbr soma un
known reason the exhibit has been deferred. At least
It la not yet vialble In Pt. Ixuls. Aa expert tells tha
mala residents they dreaa about aa well as "hod
carries In the east." a humiliation that haa provoked
J "dress-Op week." beginning April a
JZT7L Zt sl.
Vreae re' asa.
OMAHA. March 10. -To tha Editor of
The Bee: While arguing on tha question
of "preparwdneaa." I am always asked
thia: "What will we do If a forelr-i na
tion would send a large army over to
the United ."Hates?" I alwaya wondered
how far a foreign army would get In our
country after attacking ua. Now, for
Instance, if a foreign nation took a no
tion to attack tha T nit ad State, the
enemy would have to leave about half of
Ita forcee at home In order to protect
Its citixena there,. When the hostile army
should come near tha coast of tha United
States, the army would be between 1.RJ0
and H,Wi milea away from home. Then
how long do you think the enemy would
he able to keep up the fight with Its sup
plies and- ammunition at this distance
1 have also heard some apeakers say
that we have to fear Rngland because of
Ita large and strong navy. If England
ha auch a powerful navy, why doe It
not attack the United States? There la
a taason; and all Americana know It,
Our country la probably not prepared
to go to Europe and fight, but we are
certainly prepared to defend our own
country. MEREDITH KENTON".
Testimonial to Retiring; Official.
VA MONTI NE. Neb., March .-To the
Editor of The Bee: At a meeting of the
Board of Education. Superintendent vi.
lxthrop of Long Pine, was elected auper
Inlendent of Valentine public schools. W.
O. Oreen. the retiring superintendent, was
not a candidate for re-election, although
during the three years of hla administra
tion the Valentine schools have made re
markable advancement, perhapa more
than during any equal period In their
history. In losing Superintendent Oreen,
the Valentine schools are losing a gentle
man and a superintendent of very rare
b'tF. J. H. HOWE,
Secretary, Board of Education.
Milk Iaspeeter In Defease.
OMAHA, March SO. To the Editor of
The Boa: In reply to the letter of Nathan
Straua, I was indeed surprised to noto
that tha famous philanthropist waa un
aware of tha publication of infant mor
tality rate of his home city for 116, alao
at mlaleadlng flgurea quoted by him for
114. In giving tba infant mortality rata
for New York City, aa 117 par l.OflO, I
erred. I used unofficial flgurea published
In a New York paper. I have the weekly
bulletin of the Department of Health of
New York City of January a. WS. This
bulletin gives the death rata among In
fanta under 1 year of age as SS per 1,00
during 181S, or eighteen less than Instated.
Aa to tha 1J14 figures the death "rate aa
etated In Mr. Straus letter waa S3. per
tOOO, the true figures as ahown by thla
bulletin (No. 2 of New Series, Vol. V)
were S6 par 1.000 la UU. or nearly three
times as great aa stated by him. Ha
stated further that since IS9f," when ha
first began supplying New . York City
with paataurlxed milk, there haa bean a
steady decrease In the death rale among
Infants, which at that time was, accord
ing to hla flgues. M.I per 1.000. This la
contradicted by the Increase tn 1S1G to 9
Regarding tha mistake made by me a
milk Inspector In putting paataurixatlon
in a had light and placing obstacles in
the way of the noted gentleman In pro
moting hla propaganda. I was unaware
of hla Interest In tha milk aupply f
Omaha until reading hla telegram In Tbe
nee. possibly he la not aware that th
average bacteria content of ever l.soo
samples taken during tftt la Omaha waa
lea than 0.000 per c o. and of 1.900 la
191S, wa lea than 4S.000. much lowar
than allowed Grade A pasteurised milk
in jvew York City, which I believe has
been reduced te (0,000,
I admit dally Inspection of dalrUs u
Impossible, but co-operation of press In
pu oi mning dairy score and bacteria count
monthly baa made thia possible, averag
ing lower than that of pasteurising
Milk produced 100 to S00 mile from a
city, on uninspected dairy farms, hauled)
In can to a crossroad or railroad station,
exposed, probably, hours te tha rays of
the sun, brought to tha city In uniopd
cars, then pasteurised and delivered to
tn consumer In from thirty-six to forty
eight hours after drawn from the cow
can hardly compare with a product under
constant inspection from tuberculin-tested
cows, cleanly milked, cooled and aereated
promptly, bottled.' stored and delivered
at approximately 10 degrees Fahrenheit.
an within a period of an average of
As our city grows and dairymen are
compelled te move far amay from the lt-.
the pasteurisation or milk may become
necessary to provide sweet and whole
some milk. Then (if still in the inspec
tion service) I will recommend that milk
be pasteurised In tha original container,
aa It la known that through carelessness
of employes It la possible for milk to be
come contaminated after pasteurisation
by running aame over coolers and
through plpea and bottling machines not
In Omaha, without compulsory pas
terulxatlon. Infant mortality haa been re
duced nearly 70 per cent in the last f ve
years, ISIf showing 47 per 1,000, aa against
M per 1,000 (more than double as many)
in New York City for tbe aame year, un
der compulsory paataurixatlon.
CUAUDH F. BOSflE.
Milk and Dairy Inspector.
Tips on Home Topics
Vashlngton Post: ltoubtlesa there
wouldn't be a single objection from any
quarter agalnft twisting the March lion s
Boston Transcript: The difference be
tween republican economy and "demo
cratic economy" is that tha latter la al
waya credited on tha debit aide ot the
Cleveland Plain Dealer: The aoad cata
logues ar coming tn nioely now. and the
rake a and hoea In the ah op wlndowa tell
ua that spring is at hand. Otherwise wa
xulavllle Courier-Journal: A. captious
contemporary criticises tha English of
Mr. Mondoll of Wyoming in a speech in
oongreaa. Anyway, has far the best
dressed man who ever oam from Wy
oming, and a man canhot atudy all klnda
of style stmuluaaeously.
Indianapolis How: General Fred Pun
aton ahowa appreciation ot the Mexican
situation, when be suggest that tha
movements of the troops be made ae
cretly. In other word a, he doe not want
to fight Villa In the newapapera. Go to
it. Fred! The newapapera will try to pre
serve peace at homo If you will suppress
tha disorders an the border.
preference Id put In vrnrter Help
Wanted. " BaltUno'V American.
Supreme Court Juatl.e-(llJ rmrB4uri)
-Fix nn up In good ahape I """J"' 'T
got to addreee the lawW Ub this i-rv
nlln'atrU(ior amlliily.)-Went te pra
tloe chinning the br?-ruck.
Hoktis "crihbler has had no tees than
nine plays refected. -
Pokua-VYhet la he doing now?
Hoku Writing eeee-s on th flaslln
of Ihe drama. ijlfe,
"I the J1JI Is a leading Japanese
"la It a humorous publication ?"
' A humoroua publication would hardly
be called JUL. More likely to be oallvd
Hewhaw." louisville Courler-Journnl,
"They say." remarkad tha aptneter
hoarder, "that the woman who hesitates
"loat Is not the proper word for It,"
growled the fussy old bachelor at the
redal extremity of the table. "She a
loot." Indlanapolla Hr.
The demooreta are having
OnehalofsblgUmc. , .
Cnllln names ami bucking
Kaon other'a battle Una,
The fellows who are praying
For peace upon this earth
Am fighting like the mischief
And ripping up the turf.
Bill Bryan aa)a he'll flaht like I
To down th oooser crowd.
And then piils for Jim Dahlniait
Should 1 ACOOMfWrt fW
plANCF. TO THE "DOC WHEN
VPS -SOME FIANCES HAVBIT
i-kiAiiou vn ri rtCr:
(lie doasn t pull out loud).
There's Brother Charier, I
Pock of the demo walk,
Thinks he had an
o ohokee himself With talk.
And Hitchcock aaya that Morhe4
Is just the candy boy,
So long as he la running
For a Job In Illinois,
One Howard pulled for Mlatar Berge
And shelled the woods far fair.
But now ha pulls for Howard
Tooth, toenail, shirt and hain
Neville, the new What-la-lt,
From out tha goldon weal.
Is getting ninety Newbranoh
Tn help him flit hla vest.
And many more have Won renswn
Whose namea I oannot mantieni
Howling wound, and giving
The sick eld mule attention.
The "iMltla Giant' Thompson
Thlnka crabbing is a "elni"
It make a the federal lightning
Hit miles away from him.
It la a stnry, sad, my males,
That victory and reason
Can't keep those hungry daimwpepS
Filled up but for one seaeoni
Bo let the merry war go on,
And pie crust wait on peace.
For warriors oannot have their pa
Till oruel wars shall oense,
But this, alas, will n-ver be
A seuret I'll oonfeae
Until the voters vote thla fall
And skin tha whole blamed mean. -Omaha.
U R. SMITH.
Kdlth (still blushing) Am I the first
girl you ever klnaed?
Jack No, darling, but you are the last
Hthel Am I really? Oh. Jack, It makes
me ao happy to think that. Poston Tran
script. "They're a sensible married couple."
"Whloh means. I tako It, that they are
robbing each other of the fun of giving
one another birthday proaenta that
neither can afford." Detroit Free Press.
"Some philosophers say that objects
which we call inanimate have thoughts
"Maybe they have,'' rejoined Mr. Cum
rox. "If such Is tho cas the piano my
daughter practices on la a mighty pa
tient brute. " Washlngtcn Star.
The following la a bona fide statement
malt by a 7-ytar-old girl who had list
ened to medical talk all her life. Melng
asked her father's bUHlnean, she replied!
"Mf father Is a doctor, but he Isn't a
quack! My father's got a license, so if
ho kills anyone they can't arrest him!"
New York Times.
"So poor Wlllla... has been caught by
a leap year proposal and the bride-to-be
wants It annotinced. What part of the
paper shall I put It In?"
"If you want my opinion of Wllllama
THE OLD RELIABLE
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HASTY LUNCHTHAT'S IT
Promotes friendly intercourse with the
very men you might otherwise seldom aeo,
This hotel Is a rendeavous of the business
man, tbe man of affairs and the man abous
town, at tbe noon hour.
They may be enjoying tbe Hasty Lunch
eon In tbe Men's. Cafe, patronising the
Harbor Shop which, by the way, is the best
In the city, or playing a friendly gams of
root or Billiards.
That's why the Fontenelle is Headquar
ters for "Everybody Worth While."
"Built For You to KnJoy.v
A. Burbank, Managing Director,
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how good advertising may he
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really succcessful.
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