Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, February 01, 1916, Page 6, Image 6

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    THE BEE: OMAHA, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 191G.
THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATER.
VICTOR RQ3EWATER, EDITOR.
The Bn Publish in Company, Proprietor.
1KB BUILDING, FAKNAlf AND SEVENTEENTH.
Knterd at Omaha postoffiee as second-class matter.
terms or
SUBSCRIPTION.
Br carrier
par month.
fcv-....
.. So....
Fy mall
per year.
W
4 00
I.nt
Pally and Sunday
latljr without Sunday.
l.vnln mrtti Sunday...
Kvening without Sunday... ....... VO. 4.00
undav Bee onlr - 1
Uaily ami Hunday Bee, three years In advance S10.M
Srr notice of i hnnn.1 of addreea or complaint ?
irregularity m delivery to Omilii Bee, Circulation
tienirtment
RK.MITTANCF.
Pmlt hr draft. epreea or postal order. Only two
rent stamps revived In payment of amall se
ronnta. PerennsI checks, except on Omaha and eastern
exchange, not accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Be Building,
r.outh Omaha 1318 N atreet.
council Hltiffe 14 North Main atreet.
Lincoln W Utile Bulldlna.
rhlraxn ni Hearst Bulldlnir.
New York-Room 11!, V Fifth avsnue.
Ht Touls-M3 New Bank of Commerce. t
Wsehlnirton 7J6 Fourteenth BC N. Y.
OORRE8PONDENCB.
Address communicatlona reJatln to news and edi
torial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department.
DKCKMHLK CIRCULATION.
53,534
Siate of Nebraska. County of Douglas, aa:
Dwlht WIHIame, circulation manaer of The Bee
Puhll.hliis- company, belns; duly iworti, aaya that the
sverate circulation for tb month of December, 11.
Waa U '
DWIOHT WILT.IAVB. Circulation Manarer
KubacriiM-a in my preaence and aworn to before
m, this 4tb day of January. 191.
ROBERT HUNTk-R, Notary Publle.
tiubecribers leaving the city temporarily
should ha?a The Pro mailed to them. Ad
dress will bo changed aa often aa requested.
Make ready for tbo ground hog.
The weather man
for sustained effort.
la trying to qualify also
Hadluni at 19,000.000 a pound offers scant
hope of an early bargain counter rush.
No more January clearance aalea thla year
hut we all hope to llva though other Januarles.
Those fashion potentates evidently had a
hunch when they picked on thia winter for a
"fur season."
No barm will come from discussing the scar
let fever contagion If the mutual prodding re
sults In greater effort to stop Its spread.
"The moral prestige" of the United States
endears Itself all the more to Its creators alnce
!( offends the Inflated ego of Baron Astor.
Price boosters charge the offense to war and
get away with the money. Political gymnasta are
equally efficient in putting "changes of front"
over on war.
Tin an ill snowsllde that brings nobody gooi.
The new tungsten "strike" la Colorado glows
with the golden radiance of Leadvllle and
Creed rolled Into one.
Realizing the task, of floating a warmed-over
exposition, friendly consideration will be ac
corded San Diego as a news center, but friend
ship draws the line at snake stories.
Whatever Is done In buying new apparatus
for Omaha's fire department, let It be done out
in the open, ttetar chamber deals and midnight
meetings naturally and rightly arouse suspicion.
President Wilson is far from monopolising
the applause. A Washington meeting rose and
cheered the names of Bryan and Ford, and
cheers there readily reach the nerves ot con
gress. Democratic congressmen axe dazed by the
frequency of presidential aomeraaulta ana won
der where they are at The only certainty via
foned Just now is the state of political coma
dJe in November.
Princess Co-Wah-Ueap-Doong and Chief
Thundering-Water, noted Indian of New York
slate, succeeded In shaking hands with the presi
dent at Cleveland, and escaped with their
hyphens unimpaired.
All important federal appointments must be
held In abeyance while the president is swinging
round the circle. Thla la just a quiet tip to ex
pectant democrats hereabouts to try to possess
themselves in patience.
The proposed new Federal Shipping board
is to Include three 110,000 jobs to be handed
out by the president. The aponaor of the bill
must be figuring on taking care ot three more
senators, retired by their constituents.
aVU TEaaw a.- y-- .-J -FOWpntaMIBMssMMWM
Point of the New Shipping? Bill.
Telegraphed outline of the administration's
new shipping bill, Jutt presented In congress,
only vaguely bint at Ita acope, but discussion
will be very sure to develop what Is now con
cealed. One of Ita chief variations from the
measure defeated In the last congress la that
outright government ownerahlp of the vessels
to be constructed baa been abandoned. Control
of the operation of the plan Is to be vested In a
new board, to be constituted with extraordinary
powers, and charged, among other things, with
the regulation of marine commerce of all kinds,
domestic and foreign. Advocates of the meas
ure announce its purpose to be to induce private
capital to embark In building and operating
ocean-going vessels of all kinds.
Former efforts of the present administra
tion have been along a course exactly the oppo
site of favoring American ships. One good ex
ample of Its fostering Influence In this line Is
the abrogation of the canal tolls exemption at
the behest of England and Germany. It pro
posal to open the coastwise traffic of the United
States to foreign built vessel I another sug
gestion of how the democrat would move to
build up American tonnage at sea. The whole
history of the democratic party la full of in
stances of blowa struck at the industry.
Immediate anxiety of the president and his
followers for some sort of shipping bill Is easily
understood. The approaching election makes It
Imperative that something be done to mollify or
fool the people.
Why I Colonel House t
The mystery of the movement ot the presi
dent's personal messenger continue to haunt the
newa columns. Over the wireless from Berlin
comes word that the Colonel la starting for
home, fully convinced that the Germans are our
friends, and that hi visit has done much good.
What great affair of state is he dealing with?
Is it possible he ha told the German something
Americans do not know? One find It difficult
to believe the single-track mind of the president
would announce a definite policy for his coun
trymen' edification, and then privately notify
the German government of a secret modifica
tion. The whole business smacks of a roturn to
the day of romance when the secret envoy wa
always stepping out of a concealed passage In
the palace wall. Myaterlou hint In the presi
dent' speeches supplement the maneuver of
Colonel House. If our ship of state la In water
more troubled than the surface Indicate, the
president should tell us. It Is not needed that
he divulge any of the great state secrets, but he
might be frank enough to let the people know if
real danger Impend.
C-rrgnza "Cleaning- Up."
Venustlano Carranxa send word from hi
migratory headquarter that the "clean-up" he
ha apparently started n the way of taking over
the possessions of all not deemed friendly to his
cause, Is merely a measure of "protection" foi
the constitutional party. He l not confiscating
the property, he says, but merely "holding it."
This I one of the really delightful distinction
the Mexlcas mind is capable of drawing. It will
be comforting beyond question to the despoiled
clenttflcoa to know that their sequestrated pos
sessions are merely "held." When the republic
Is sufficiently tranquil the government will dis
pose of the property it ha aelied, but the
chance of it ever coming Into possession of it
rightful owner are remote. It will almost cer
tainly go to reward retainer of toe restorer ot
freedom, and they will be thereby uplifted.
Tale of terrible suffering among the people
come from this distracted country. Starvation
and winter' cold are destroying more live than
did the war. The "pacification" of Mexico will
make a doleful chapter In history, and the rec
ord of "watchful waiting" will not cheerfully
illustrate it.
At Ha rrular meeting the school boa id elected
Tim Bvrthold Janitor of the Castelar ac-hoot. as
r omnu.-nlei by the committee on building- and prop
'tity. In explaining the report. Secretary Conoyer all
a large number of applications for the noaltlon had
teen rlvfd and the committee concluded to select
a man by lot. The namea were accordingly placed 'n
a hat, hew Mr. Cupeland waa blindfolded by Mr. v'u
burn and tb name of Herthold waa drawn aa the
in ia wlujic-r.
II. A. Jones, well known to the dry goods trade.
it. i trerufei red hia aervlcea from J. J. Brown A Co,
to Tootle A llowt Co. of St. Joseph.
Robert Armstrong, for the laat two years cle.k
In the quartermaster's depot here, has been promoted
to be quartermaster's agent at Valentine.
l.mltn Stephens has accepted a position aa travel
lug solicitor for F. A. Moore A Co., aucceaaors to
;!Tvant Co.
v The Muaical union at Us meeting formed a pro
tective asMx-lallon and will shortly enter the Knight
of Labor
The niuaWal given by Messrs. Tabor and Bartlett
at the Dodge street Congregational church brought
f'rth a fair audience.
The VrtcUere have Just established a rule for
a nine-hour ciay. They have been receiving an av
i rii of UK a day for ten hours' work.
Mia. II. II M.rhoff. luO Reward street, lets It
In: known that she wants a nurse girl
Ku'ir black feathers ill one package, were lost on
wi ii.lsy. The finder will please leave at Donagbue'a
but Wuii at fixtccnih and I'ougUe.
Aimed at Omaha
York Democrat: Mr. Howell of Omaha Is coming to
Tork to tell us how It may he accomplished. If Mr.
Howell can assure a lot of local patriots thst there Is
a Job like his In this municipal ownership stunt, he
will make a husky lot of converts.
Hastings Tribune: Omaha burglars csrt off furni
ture by the wsgonlosd. But that la no reflection on
the Omaha police In Chicago even policemen sre
spirited away.
Tork News-Times: The new skating fad almost
cost the life of the president of the Cnlon Pacific
Sunday at Omaha. He la a heavy man and when no
started out on the Ice he evidently forgot thst he
wasn't as young as he once was. His head struck
the ice and for a day or two It waa not known by
the hospital authorities whether he would recover
or not He Is now out of danger. Rven men nre
prone to admit that they are getting any older than
they feel, but It will save doctor bills by admitting H
to themselves occasionally anyway.
Nebraaka City Press: The heslth officers of Ne
braska, were supposed to have a meeting at Omaha.
About eight of them arrived. Politics under the More
head regime has killed health conservation work In
Nebraaka. It will take a long time to get back.
Beatrice Express: An Omaha minister who en
deavored to maintain Interest In his church by the
use of "Billy" Sunday methods In the pulpit hss re
signed, finding his efforts a failure. There is only
one Sunday, and an attempt to imitate him Is sure
to prove a failure.
Tekamah Herald: The verdict of guilty In the
Art Hauaer case In Omaha last week was a redeem
ing feature In Douglas county murder trials. That
bsndit deserved hanging, but we are satisfied that
he was given life Imprisonment. But we fear some
fool pardoning power may release him In a few yesrs
to sgaln perpetrate his hellish deeds.
Genoa Leader: An Omaha lawyer got what was
coming to him this week down at Omaha, when a
witness whom he had been grilling on the witness
stand knocked him down a couple times when they
met outside the court room. The court rule that gives
a lawyer the privilege to Insult and abuse a witness
on the stand, and forWde the witness the right to
resent It, Is non-American. It Is outrageous.
Beatrice Express: It Is generslly accepted by Ne
braska newspaper men that when Mayor Dehlman
speaking at the democratic editorial banquet held In
Lincoln last week, stated that so far as he was con
cerned they could all "go to hell," he was merely ex
tending another Invitation to the Nebraska Presa
association to hold lbs annual meeting In Omaha this
year.
Ord Quls: Among the gems of oratory and senti
ment brought out by the democratic, harmony bamiuet
at Lincoln a few nights ago, the following by Mayor
Jim Dahlman of Omaha Is deserving of special notice:
"The press of the eountry, democratic, republican and
populist, can all go to h as far aa I am concerned."
One might Infer from thla choice language that the
honorable mayor does not cherish a passionate love
for the editorial fraternity. Just what caused Mr.
Dahlman to feel so peeved we do not know, but the
presumption Is that some newspaper has been teiMng
the truth about him.
Twice Told Tales
California's Glorious Climate.
Press dispatches of the last few week have
brought Information from the golden west that
warrant the belief aomethlng ha gone wrong
with, the glorious climate of California. First
we beard ot.an untimely snowstorm visiting the
citrus belt, and doing Immense damage to the
orange groves. Now swirling floods are (weep
ing the wreckage ot flimsy dam and patiently
developed farmstead Into the Pacific ocean.
The calamity that has overtaken the people of
Southern California 1 widespread, and the loss
will be heavy and not easily borne by those who
have put their all Into the venture of their lives.
It la a vind reminder that man ha not jet
tamed the force of nature, and that effort to
restrain them are apt to end In destruction,
while no region 1 Immune from their manifes
tation. The sympathy ot Nebraskan will go out
to ihe stricken ot California, the more strongly
because ot the fact that many former resident
of this state have been lured to the devastated
region by promise of eternal summer.
Suppressing" the Sunday Newspaper.
And now It 1 the little town of Benson that
propose to "top the paper" by resorting to the
police power to suppress their sal on Sunday
at new stands and on the street. In other
words, the town council would turn back the
handa of time a century or two to compel the
inhabitants to withatand the lure'ot the Sunday
newspaper.
While The Bee ia no more affectel than any
other publication, It stands to reason that we
will never yield such a right to any town coun
ell, for It the aalea of newspaper can be barred
on Sunday or any other day, ao can delivery of
papers, and It In Benson, likewise In every town
and village.
The good people of Benson should wake up
to the fact that the newspaper ha become as
much of a necessity aa the telephone, or the
atreet car, or the electric light, that it 1 aa
much ot a necessity In these day on Sunday
aa it is on week day, and that any stretch ot
the Sunday law, covering the ordinary aalea of
newspaper, must fall in it purpose.
Una urlap November ailemuon a iHimuiiIbl...!
figure walked slowly down the road toward the
Home of Useless Things. No one took the slightest
notice of It, and It slunk along, an unhappy outcast.
After it had gone a little way It was met by a some
what similar figure, and by common consent they
fell In together.
"Who are you?" asked the new arrival.
"Oh." replied the other, "I'm a atudent petition
to the faculty. And youT"
The new arrival sighed. 'Tm ona of Wilson's
notes to Germany," It replied. 9
The petition placed Us hand sympathetically oa
the other's shoulder. "Come with me. old ton." It
said. "I guess we are both bound for the same place."
-Cornell Widow.
A big drop in the emigration from Ireland
In 1I1S la noted In the dispatches. The statement
Is misleading. Actually the number of depart
ures Increased, but the destination waa
switched from the United Slates to Flanders,
Gallipoli and Salouikt.
A flee Provider.
To understand the force of this story one must first
know that Cain's storehouse Is the place tn New Tork.
where the scenery and properties of most ,of the
theatrical productions that meet an untimely fate on
Broadway are sent for storage.
A group of members sat In the snuggery of the
Lambs' club on an afternoon not long ago. A somber
gentleman, wearing his hair long and wide rubber
rlma on his eye-glasses, passed through.
"Who Is that," asked one of the party, addreasina
Hap Ward, the comedian.
Ward looked and recognised In the passer a nlay-
wrlght who wrote ne fewer than three pronounced
rallures last season.
"Oh, that" said Ward, "that's Cain's favorite
author." Saturday Evening Post.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotchman are
looking through a confectioner's window at a beauti
ful young woman serving In the shop.
"Oh." exclaims Mr. Patrick, "do let us be after
spending half a dollar with the dear crayture that we
may look at her more conveniently and have a hit
chat with ber."
"iou extra vagsnt dog.'t aaya Mr. George; Tm sure
one-half of It would do Just as well. But let us go
In, by all means. She Is a charming girl."
"Ah, wait a wee." Interposed Mr. Andrew; "dlnua
ya ken It'll serve our purpose to ale us twa quarters
for a fifty-oent piece and Inquire where Mr. Tooson's
hoose Is and slo like? We're no hungry, and may as
well save the money." Pittsburgh Chronlcle-Tele-raph.
The War Spirit.
A fat "colored mammy" of the "old school" was
hsled into court for throwing her washatand at
her neighbor's husbsnd, a "Georgia cracker," of the
"poor white trash" variety.
"Did you strike this man with a washboard V
Judge Broylea asked.
"I spec' I did. yo" honsh."
"What waa the provocation?"
"We wus dlscussln' wah, Jedge."
"Well-go on."
"We wus talklu' 'bout dam Germing, an' John
Bulls and dem Frcnchmans, an' he done aaid I was
nutral. To honah. I aln'a gwlne to let no low-down
white trash call me dat" Case and Comment
Imr tw It.
A stranger became one or a group of listeners
to a veteran of many battles, says Postmaster Gen
eral Burleson. The veteran had about concluded a
vividly colored narrative of a furloua battle. In wht-'H
he bad taken part
"Just think of It," exclaimed one of the paty
turning to the stranger. "How would you like to
stand with shells bursting all around your
1 have been there." responded the newcomer.
"Whet? Have you. too, been a soldier?"
"No." answered the stranger, "I am an actor."
Philadelphia Ledger.
It Wauj Her Beoret.
Thia story. Illustrating the reticence of the Scotch
regarding their private affairs, waa told by the late
last Maclaren:
A train waa at a railway station, when a porter
put bis bead In a carriage and called out: -Anyone
In this carriage for Doun? Change for Doun! Any
one for Doun?"
No one moved; and In a few minutes the train
was Breeding along, not to atop again for nearly aa
hour. Then aa old Scotch woman turned to a woman
silting near by and aaiu. "I'm for Douu. but I'd bo
UU that man so!" Pittsburgh ChronM-Telgraph.
1'keat Dorters Dlswatree.
TORKTOWN. la.. Jan. 3L-To the
Editor of The Bee: 1 have been a reader
of your paper for many years, but have
never contributed to the Letter Box.
However, I feel the time has come for
me to make an offering. I have been
watching carefully through the papers
the progress of the fight In your city
against thst dreadful malady, scarlet
fever, and have felt satisfied that the
physicians and health officers were doing
ell In their power to combat It. But. alas!
I fear the guardians of the public's health
have been asleep as they were unaware
that they have right In their very midst
one who by his great skill In treating
this dreadful disease can have his patient
on the road to recovery In leas than six
days and without any complications or
even desquamation. t
This wonderful personage, who signs
himself A. U Merrlam. M. D is In my
opinion, either a divine healer or else a
physician who has not enjoyed a very ex
tensive practice during his forty-five
years' experience, and who never lost a
single case since thst time. If Bro. Mer
rlam can master a case of typhoid fever
In ten days, as he baa previously stated,
or never lose a case of scarlet fever, he
would not have to sing his own praises
through the columns of a newspaper.
I would auggest that he pay The Bee
for a nice big advertisement extolling
his wonderful healing powers and have
it Inserted along beside the ad a of other
quacks. I have spent the greater part
of my life In the Immediate vicinity of
Omaha and received my medical degree
there, but I never once heard of this won
derful healer until I read his articles In
your paper, the last one scoring your
health officer.
J. F. 8IOAFOOS. M. D.
The Deaaoeratle DUensaaa.
SILVER CREEK, Neb., Jan. To the
Bdltor of The Bee: According to the as
tute and loquacious Samuel O. Blythe, the
eoubllcan party Is hard put to. to una
a strong man for a presidential candidate
to lead them In the coming campaign,
while the democratic party hae no other
In view than President Wilson.
That being the case why not dispense
with a republican candidate entirely and
all support Mr. Wilson. Ha Is rapidly
attaining, acquiring and absorbing re
publican principles and no doubt by the
end ot bla term will have both feet firmly
planted on the republican platform.
When the republicana were In control or
the government their consistent and con
servative policy of defensive preparedness
was Just aa consistently and violently op
posed by the democratlo party. Now Mr.
Wilson has done a complete double flp-
flop and is tor preparedness with a capi
tal P.
When running on the democratic plat
form for his present high position his
successful election was largely dne to his
uncompromising and eloquent opposition
to the republican tariff policy and espe
cially to President Taft'a efforts to obtain
a permanent tariff commission. Mr. Wil
son has flip-flopped on that proposition
also and Is now advocating quite a full
sired measure of practical republican com
mon sense along those lines. From these
signs of hi ability to see and seise. It la
reasonable to Infer that he will be able
to learn and assimilate quite all or enough
of republican principles and policies to
make him an acceptable leader . of the
O. O. P.
By the time Grover Cleveland had
completed his presidential career he had
been forced to repudiate so many dem
ocratlo theories and fallacies that he
waa accused of flopping over to the re
publicana, selling out to "Interests,"
etc., that many of bla fellowmen had
repudiated him.
The fact la, that where the democratlo
party happens to be entrusted with the
control of governmental affaire they
find that their visionary theories are
aadly at fault and when they try to run
the government In accordance therewith
It atmply "can't be did." and while Mr.
Wilson and his adviser seem to be be
coming enlightened and absorb a little
republican wisdom and experience, I am
afraid the masses of his party, wedded
to their time-honored tf not time-worn
theories, will bring the same charges
against him that thsy did against Cleve
land, and his only salvation will be for
the republicans to adopt him and rally
to his rescue. W. G. ROBINSON.
Pre pa red a eaa far Pesee,
LINCOLN, Jan. IL-To the Editor of
The Bee: After so much bitter senti
ment expressed tn the war discussions.
Mir. Boerkcber'a fine patriotism is a
pleasant diversion, like the peaceful aun
shlne after a thunderstorm. How nice
It would be If all were to tune to his
peace symphony. Are we not tired of
that cheap sucker play to prospective
presidential candidates, for a few office
crumbs? Then let us make a united ef
fort for the development of. Omaha and
Nebraaka. In lSS. when the west had
wheels In Its head, the east held ateady;
now that the east has wheels In Its
head, the west must hold steady. Shall
the west stand for preparedness? Yes.
but preparedness for peace, not war!
With the present European situation In
mind, only a fool or a knave could be
for war and does not preparedness even
tually mean war? The tariff question
Is in abeyance until Europe Is re popu
lated and re-established. We are up
against direct taxation. Does any sane
person believe the American people will
stand for an English navy and a Ger
man army by direct taxation? Listen to
the voice of the west; It says. "Prepare
for peace, build roads, develop water
power, irrigate." When there are no
more sand bars, the Missouri river will
be navigable.
When the fell Is taken out of rivers
like the Platte, there will be no more
sandbars. Begin at the mountains and
alvs ths Platte a scientific river bed,
with a narrow channel and eighty foot
fall every tea milea. with locka, and
boats can unload at ths wharves of
Omaha. Lincoln and Denver. Railroad
rates will be regulated tor all time to
come. We will bare more power than
we can ever use for Irrigation and fac
tories, etc. A home market will make
all farm land in Nebraaka worth tSOO
per acre. We will be closer to the
world's markets than England or Ger
many now la. Then Chicago will see to
It that the Great Lakes are connected
by the Illinois river. Times will get so
good here that Europe will have to pay
good wages to ksep their people there,
Tbe day' work can be shortened. Maa'a
burdens will become so light that all
will have time for pleasure and culture.
Class differences will almost entirely
disappear, students wDl earn to as
from all parts of the world. By Inter
travellng. intermingling and Intermar
riage the people y of the world will be
come aa friendly to each other as the
people of the United 8tatas are to each
other. In commercial transactions, a
gentleman's agreement will become more
binding thaa any law ever ran become.
backed by an army and navy, no mat
ter how strong. Visionary t Tea, but
no more so than wsa the discovery of
America st the time of Columbus and
what the discovery of America did for
the world then, a scientific development
of our resources will do now. Think of
that level, fertile, rich soil, tws hundred
miles wide and a thousand miles long,
under Irrigation, with a family on every
ten acres. Think of all section lines
paved. All that will not cost as much
as war. Go to the "Birth of a Nation,"
think of the situation in Europe, and
try to realise that the half of Its hor
rors have not been told then will you
listen to my only competitors, those In
fernal, Incarnate wsr hell-hounds? Do
you fully realise that every war has
been a talked-up war? That there never
has been a war that has not resulted
from preparedness? Do you realise that
there never has been less occasion for
preparedness, anywhere, at any time,
than there Is in America now?
Awake, awake, American knight.
With ballot, sword, we now must fight.
That war dog, Aristocracy.
Who toll not. neither do they spin.
But do the thinv-s that Christ called sin.
When ballots say. "Thou shalt not kill."
Then man can have "Peace and Good
will." The thunder clap of Liberty Bell.
Did It not ring the tyrants' kneil?
And break man'a chains and set him free
To live In peace, on land and sea?
"O, God of Hosts, be with us yet.
Lest we forget, lest we fort."
, E L. DREW1NG,
SIS South Nineteenth street.
Let the Doetor Explafa.
STANTON. Ia.. Jan. 31.-To the Editor
of The Bee: I was much Interested, but
not enlightened by the letter from Dr.
I A. Merrlam entitled ."Phenaeetln In
Fevers." I am sure there are others who
would like to know Just whst is meant
by Juergensen's method, also what
alkaloids are, and how to carry out the
elimination Idea.
SEEKER AFTER TRUTH.
MID-WINTES MIRTH.
"Can t you give tis something novel and
up-to-date?" asked the man who was
buying a calendar.
"What's the trouble?" asked the sta
tioner. "I'm tired of seeing Father Time car
rying an hour glass snd a scythe. Can't
you give him a good, reliable, thought
Inexpensive, watch, and a gasoline-driven
harvesting machine? 'Washington Star.
She Now. my dear, we must face this
problem. Shall we settle in the suburbs
o- the city?
He Tou mean live, darling. Don't forget
that on my present salary we can't settle
any w here. J udge.
Wife We must surely go to Egypt this
year.
Husband Why Egypt?
Wife On account of those pyramids. I
see by this magssine that they are slowlv
wasting away. It would hardly do to
miss em. juuge.
Collector Sir, your account has been
running now a long time.
Owens Then common humanity dic
tates that you let It stand awhile.
Collector Well, since you are consid
erate of It, why don't you provide a set
tle? Boston Transcript.
Saplelsrh I believe, you know, I shall
try a fish diet for my brain.
Miss Keen Don't be absurd, Mr. Sap
leigh. Fish may stimulate brains. It can
not create them. Chicago Post.
"Do you think we have too much book
learning?"
"Thre Isn't sny other kind. As soon
as a man finds out anything worth
knowing he proceeds Immediately to
write a book about it" Washington
Star.
"How Is It that Smith seems to be
rolling In money? I understand from
friends of his that
hole."
he had got Into a
"So he did. but It was an oil welL"
Baltimore American.
'Paw, what's the longest period of
time?"
"From one psy day to the next"
Buffalo Express.
A LEAP TEAS ANSWER.
John K. Bangs, In New Tork Times.
I have listened. Amaryllis. I have heard
your story through,
A and. aa I remarked to Phyllis, I belelve
It all Is true
It doth rmg. Oh quite sincerely, and tt
fills me with delight.
For I love you quite as dearly as the
Bfoobeam loves the night. f
It is sweet to know you love me with the
whole of your dear heart.
And by all the stars above me I would
fladly do my part,
find my love Is burning not less
ardently than yours,
And the substance of my yearning my
sincerity assures.
But I feel that I must say It though
my lips would rather not
In this game of life I play It at a pace
that s rather hot.
I'm a man of many fancies for the lux
uries of life.
And I've some extravagances that might
v?x a willing wife.
I have clubs some ten or twenty and
a score of moter-cara
Father gives me money for my neckties
snd cigars.
As you know, I'm quite a dandy, and my
costumes are au fait
Seven suits all spick and spandy are my
portion every day.
I should say that forty thousand It now
costs to play the game ,
That's the sum my dad allows, and you
would have to do the same;
So that when you come to oourt me I
must ssk one thing of you:
Do you think you can support me in the
style I'm 'customed to?
V HANDS
IICII 1
Because of Eczemas, Rashes, Char
pings, Etc.? If So
CUTICURA SOAP AND
CUTICURA OIHTf.lEtIT
Will afford instant relief and
quickly heal even when all else
has failed. On
retiring bathe
the hands
freely with
CuticuraSoap
andhotwater.
Dry. and rub
Cuticura Ointment gently into
the skin for a few minutes.
Wipe off surplus Ointment with
soft tissue paper or leave it on
and wear old gloves or soft
bandage during night.
Sample Each Free by Mail
. With sa-p. SWn Book on request. Ad
dress post-card "Cwttenra. Dea 14. fps
twa. 6otd throughout the world.
1 S, tiff ' ...n
fu ionow5uTitmer
OUTH!
f
NO NEED to suffer the discom
forts of winter when Amer
ica's tropics are only a short
trip away. Here Nature has lavishly
bestowed her gifts. There's a charm
in the climate and a fascination in the
historic and beautiful surroundings.
Now is the time to go. The trip can be
'made at moderate cost and quickly and
comfortably via the
CHICAGO
Milwaukee fic St. Paul
RAILWAY
"Tht Pacific Limited" and three
-7 other daily trains make convenient con-
necuons in imcago wnn inrougn irains
for the South and East
Throvfh railmaJ and iletplng eat ncefs
mnA full tnfnrmutitAm mt
1 'Li ' ' 'V V? v
Kr.Y 1317 Farnam Street. Omaha
'4
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how good advertising may be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really succcessfuL
NSsanSSSsa