4
THE BEE: OMAHA. MONDAY, JANUAitY L'4, 1U6.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
POUNDED BT KDWARD ROSE WATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATKR, EDITOR.
The Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
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OFFICES.
Omaha Tha Bee Bullillna.
Pouth OmshaZllS N atreet.
Council Hluffe It North Mala (treat.
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CORRESPONDENCE),
Address rommunlcatlona relating to new and sdl
to rial matter to Omaha Bee. Editorial Department.
DECEMBER CIIUXLATIOX.
53,534
(Stat of Nebraska, County of Doualaa, m:
Dwleht Wllllama, circulation manager of The RS
PublUhlnir company, belnir duly sworn, says that the
average circulation for the month of December. 1SUV
waa U.M4.
DWIOHT WTI.UAM". Circulation Manea-sr.
Subscribed In my preaenoe and aworn to before
me, thla iih day of January. I!.
ROBERT HUNTKH, Notary Pubtle,
Hubacribei-a leaving lbs city temporarily
should hare The Ben mailed to them. Ad
dress will be changed aa often aa requested.
After all the keenest victims of war weari
ness are the map-makers.
Lira Stock on rami.
Soma excitable folk expressed apprehension
aa to the probable extermination of the lire
stock oa American farma, due to the abnormal
demands of Europe, where the animals were
being fed to the Moloch of war. Hundreds of
thousands of head of horses end mules were
bought in this country for uses of the armies,
while millions of food animals were slaughtered
that the armies might be fed. Thla demand
still exists, and is steadily being supplied, but
the government report, Just at hand, shows an
actual increase in the number of animals on
the farms of the United States, With the single
exception of sheep.
In spite of the shipment of horses abroad.
the report shows the number now in the United
States to be 21,200,000, an Increase of 6,000
head over a year ago, and more than 600,000
over five years ago. Mules to the number of
4,660,000 are on the farma, an Increase of
nearly 100,000 for the year. Milch cows have
gone tip la numbers to 22,000,000, aa Increase
daring the year of more than 700.000 head.
Other cattle now number 29,600,000, having
come up during the year to the extent of 2,600,-
000 head. Sheep, the one animal of which th
democratic party boasts, because of its relation
to schedule K, bare dropped 766,000 head dur
ing the year, the total now being 49,200,000.
Swine, solid support of farm prosperity, are In
creasing at a gratifying rate, showing 2,400,000
more for the present as compared with a year
ago, the total being 68,000,000, a little more
than two-thirds of a pig apiece for the In
habitants of the country.
Nebraska show a splendid record in the
matter of farm animals, with 1,030,000 horses,
98,000 mules, 650,000 milch cows, 2,240,000
other cattle, 374,000 sheep and 4,270,000
swine.
Even the editor of the Nary department is
stumped for an excuse for pigeon-holing Admiral
Fletcher's report.
Wisely selected Omaha real estate requires
less digging than a Klondike claim and yields
more certain results.
The destruction of the Persia increases the
list of war mysteries which await the searching
analysis of peace times.
The White House division of warring diplo
mats into two social sections tactfully preserve
the carpets from an undiplomatic muss.
i r 1
' The president's strategy In dodging the war
zone of Nebraska may be open to criticism, but
as a tribute to safety first It Is above suspicion.
I ..
Weather disagreements between Colonel
Welsh and the railroad prophets demand expert
treatment and should be referred to the groundhog.
Possibly that nervy Chicago bandit planned
to obey Mayor Thompson's order to emigrate
and merely, stopped to procure an excursion
ticket. ' .
The days are growing longer and the coal
bins leaner. A working agreement stretching
both at the same time would fill t long felt
want.
Mystery of the Sun's Light.
Three of the tour states ia his Itinerary are
republican. Tha president is complimentary in
selecting communities where a respectful hear
ing and thoughtful consideration are assured.
Copper's belated uplift carries a cheering
message to Omaha, Butte and other copper-
plated points. A few more spurts will put the
copper magnates on speaking terms with the oil
barons.
A St. Louis Chinaman recovered from a hold
up In time to give chase, kill the robber and re
cover the stolen goods. A motion to suspend the
rules and make Joe Hlng captain of the holdup
sleuths is In order. ' '
Miss Florence shows admirable uptodateness
in seeking admission Into Metropolitan Society.
Possessing rustic charms tinted with urban an
ticipations her debut is bound to he a redletter
event In the social calendar.
Is order to reduce the stock la storage the
Standard Oil company distributes 120,000,000 In
dividends in California, the total amounting to a
60 per cent melon. Oil consumers are thus as
sured that their contributions reach a Joyrldlnf
destination.
The total supply of gold money In the United
States now totals $3,312,000,000, an Increase of
$496,000,000 In a year. Despite the immensity
or tne pile, the precious stuff shrinks from the
sunshine of circulation. In times of stress yel
low eagles flock to the cyclone cellars.
y4
Next A Political Picture Gallery.
It is only fair that the public be now advised
that the next and logical development of the
direct primary Is a political picture gallery of
all aspiring candidates, Issued officially In book
form by the proper public authorities. Here in
Nebraska, we already have the voters' pamphlet.
containing arguments for and against Initiated
or referred legislation, but the proposal aa for
mulated In a bill presented to the New York
legislature would supplement this with a cata
logue containing the picture and biographical
sketch of each vote-chasing candidate.
As explained by lta sponsor: "The cost of
publishing the catalogue Is borne by the can
didates very largely. Those who rua for office
In the entire state are charged at the rate of
three hundred dollars per page and are limited
to two pages each. The State Committee of a
party rosy likewise explain their party princi
ples and Insert their platform at the rate of
three hundred dollars a page. The catalogues
are to be published by the Secretary of State
and aa edition Is produced for each district.
When the voter receives this catalogue, be can
read it over and study It at his leisure with a
view of ascertaining just what each man stands
for, and cast bis vote accordingly."
The presumption is that the newspapers will
still be depended on to expose the weak spota
and blemishes of the candidates; for aa official
picture gallery furnished and paid for by the
candidates could only present the subject ia a
most favorable light, plctorlally aa well aa blo-
graphlcally, and could not be expected to In
clude anything detrimental to any one's aspira
tions. But it New York beats Nebraska to this
great constructive reform, It will be merely be
cause we let them pass us on the road to prog
ress and perfection.
Not a Good Comparison.
.The St. Louis Republic's loyal effort to ex
cuse the Wilson administration by comparing
Omaha to Mexico Is going Just a little' too far.
Allowance Is always made for partisan teal, but
this attempt to Justify the Carranclsta course
lacks something la both logic and reason. Omaha
doesn't take any pride in the disturbance re
ferred to, and doesn't particularly relish the
Idea of being set up aa a screen tor the miser
able record made by the present administration
ia' connection with Mexico. First of all, no talk
of war was ever heard In the discussion of the
matter.. Secondly, the foreign governments con
cerned moved p'romptly to secure protection tor
their subject residence here. These governments
realised they were dealing with responsible
power, and therefore that the formal representa
tions only were all that were needed. Order
was Immediately restored, and thorough,
authoritative Inquiry waa duly made, and repara
tion is now tendered by our government for the
damage endured by the foreigners Involved.
Contrast this course with the years of watch
ful waiting that have been marked by aa unend
ing series of outrages against American citlsens,
domiciled la Mexico, and without fequltaii
other than empty promises of Impotent leaders!
Gunpowder and preparedness hold the center
of the stage at Washington, and baking powder
clings to the wings. The former monopolizes
me gas treatment, wnue the latter raises a
breexe la committee trenches. Still, some envi
ous people Imagine a congressman does not earn
the money.
Oarrevt 9. Ben lee.
HBAT la a violent agitation of the Inrtntteslmat per.
tlclee. or molecule, of which all matter la com
posed; hence there can be no heat In a vacuum,
where there are no particles of matter to be asltated.
or In the ether, which is a medium that does not
obey the ordinary laws of matter.
But, on the other hand, the vibration that aire
viae to heat wheri they encounter material bodies must
exist In the ether because tt la the ether which carries
them, and, alnce ether Is not excluded, like matter,
from what we call a vacuum. It follows that those
vibrations may exist In a vacuum. Ia fact, the only
thing that a vacuum contains Is ether.
According to the strict meaning of the term a
vacuum should contain nothing whatever, but we are
unable to get the ether out, and so, perforce, we let
tt go at that experiment long ago showed that a
greater quantity of the vibrations which produce heat
passes through a vacuum than through aa equal space
filled with air.
The only way In which heat Is supplied to us from
the sun Is by means of vibrations In the all-enveloping
ether. While they are in the ether, before they have
struck the earth's atmosphere and, through the atmos
phere, the earth itself, the vibrations bear the same
relation to heat that the electrio Impulses In a tele,
phone wire bear to the sounds Into which they are
transformed aa soon aa they strike the receiver.
The same thing Is true of the vibrations that pro
duce tight. They are not really light until they have
impinged upon our eyes and affected our nerves of
vision In such a manner as to eet up another sort of
vibration, or agitation. In the molecules of our brains,
and thla causes the sensation of seeing, or the per
ception of what we call light.
Consequently, while alt space around the sun is
filled with vibrations capable of being transformed
Into light and heat, there Is neither light nor heat in
open space, except where the vibrations encounter
some material object whose molecules can be agitated
by the Impact, and thus bring about the transforma
tion needed.
No doubt these vibrations conveyed from the sun by
the ether may produce many other effects unper
celved by or unknown to us. because we have no
special nerves, or organs of sensation, suitable to
their perception.
The ether, you will observe. Is a very mysterio-is
thing end the discovery of its existence Is one of the
greatest triumphs of human Intelligence. It seems to
possess some of the properties of matter, and yet It
defies most of the laws of matter, aa we know them
When we try to define it we immediately begin to
contradict ourselves, and seem to be talking nonsense,
and yet without the hypothesis of the existence of this
Wonderful something-nothing nearly the whole edifice
of modern science would tumble Into ruin.
Investigation of the world of matter in which we
live and of which we are a part leads us to the vsrge
of a precipice, In the dark, where science, sustained
by faith In her hypotheses, steps boldly out over tha
void, and Is herself astonished to find that Instead of
being precipitated into the gulf she Is born like a
spirit across HI
To study all the phenomena of heat would require
the devotion of an entire lifetime. Have you ever
reflected upon the reason why heat can turn iron Into
a liquid and water Into steam? Most persons, seeing
these things done, or knowing that they are done,
every day, think no more about it.
It Is not from among such persons that the great
leaders of human advance make their appearance. It
100,090 men would think earneatly about these things
for every one who thus thinks about them today, the
world would soon blase with intellectual "light like a
new born sunt
But to return to the answer to our question. Iron
Is melted and water Is vaporised by that very shaking
or agitation of their constituent particles of which we
have been speaking. The molecules or particles of a
solid or a liquid are held together by their mutual
attraction not the attraction of gravitation, but an
other sort of attraction called cohesion.'
The distance ever which this kind of attraction
acta Is very small. Each particle draws upon lta im
mediately surrounding particles, and they, "in turn.
upon others, and thus the whole mass of a solid body
or of a portion of liquid Is held together.
In solids the fore of cohesion is so great that the
particles are held in a rigid form; In liquids It is rela
tively so weak that the particles may slide about
over one another: In a gas, or vapor, there ia no
cohesion.
Now. when a solid la heated Its particles are set
Into ' extraordinary vibration, and If the heating is
carried t a sufficient degree tha force of their co
hesion will be so far weakened that they begin to
slide over one another, and the solid becomes a liquid.
Carry the heating still farther, and the particle will
be so shaken that they lose their cohesive grip en
tirely, and the liquid expands Into a vapor.
Aa you sit In front of your winter fir and see the
back coal, or the hard wood, molecularly shaken
asunder in the Jaws of heat until part of it ascends
In gases and part falls In ashes, while the agitation
sets up new waves of heat In the surrounding air
and ether, you may If you will become a philosopher
and contribute your own little share to the thinking
which drives tha world.
Bishop O'Connor delivered a lecture, discussing the
Roman question, to an audience which filled the opera
house. Ha spoke under the auspice of the local
branch of the Kntatita of America, and was Intro
duced by Its president, J. A. Waytand.
By an unfortunate accident, Henry Q. H. Lrh-
mann. eon of 4. H. F. Lehmenn, and manager of the
Llimana I'ry Goods store, lost one of his legs, being
run over by a train he was trying to board at Millard,
The Musical Union orchestra gave their Sunday
concert with Prof. Btslnhauaer as leader. The cornot
solo, "Love s Dream," by H. Luta. made a hit of the
eutertalnment.
The First Congregational church held Its first
services la the rink, which It la occupying temporarily.
Colon! Loria Miller has returned from aa eastern
trip.
Ef sa are quoted on the wholesale market at from
IT to U cents a dltsen. with a notation that "only
triaht, freeh stock will bring U cents."
Colonel Chate is making arrangamenta to leave)
for Waahingtoa to attend the aaeetlag of the Missouri
XUver eonuuissloa committees.
A contract for grading Harney street from Fif
teenth street west has been let to James Pea for 13
cents per foot, and the eame figure holds for the
contract grading Sixteenth street from Howard tl
f'arnam. Tt.U. It is said, is the lowest figures grad
ing has been let In this city for five years. At Sit
Destructive floods extending from the Gult
of California to the Great Lakes trail a phenom
enal Pacific storm of ten days' duration. Th
route and the season are unusual, affording ad
ditional proof that the elements have absorbed
some of the destructive spirit of the times.
Mlssouiiana are not all satisfied with the
smooth work of the railroads in slipping over
Increased rates and have succeeded In postponing
the holdup until the courts scrutinise the deal.
The era of supine submission Is a back number
la the west.
General Kitchener and Lord Derby announce
that the compulsion bill will produce, with the
mea already enrolled, the number necessary to
Insure a victorious finish of the war. Now stand
back and watch 'am do It.
Do not labor under the delusion that the
undercurrent for Hughes la perceptible only la
Nebraska. It Is Just aa strong in nearly every
other section of the country, and stronger la
some of them.
Twico Told Tales
A new Treat.
Claude Martin of St. Louis county says this really
happened: A farmer In the Crave Coeur district whose
wife greatly deprecatea his Intermittent convivial
tendency, came to 8t Louis in the holidays and greatly
enjoyed himself. J'pon returning home he waa ex
tremtly thirsty, desiring above ail things a drink of
cold water, and yet fearing to arouse his vigilant
wife. He put up his horses and cautiously approached
the old draw well The bucket roee almost noiselessly
as he pulled the windlass and he secured a mighty
draught.
He drank till he could hold no more. The night
was quite cold and the water splendid.
Suddenly, In the gratitude of his refreshment, ha
lifted up his voice.
-Maria!- he shouted. "Oh, Maria!"
"Whatever do you want?" demanded hla wife.
from the house. "What are you standing out there
In the lot. bellerln like a calf for?"
"Oh, Maria." the husband pleaded, "you and the
children come on out here and git some of thla good
water." H, Louis Globe-Democrat.
Cae.ee aai Effect.
Grace and Mayme, women of the chorus, were ea
a day car, making the Wheellng-to-CIeveland Jump,
somewhat surrounded by a mass of Sunday papers,
with colored feature section.
Presently Qrayce abstained from frolicking wth
her gum for a few seconds and said: "Look here.
girlie, a guy professor, I guess says that in 1,000
years there won't be any blonde In the world."
"Hum." said Mayme, aad went on reading a story
of a man la Dogon, Neb., who haa a house built out
of land turtle ahella
"Tea what do yeu think of It? rejoined Qrayce.
"Why, bow does be know there won't be any drug
stores 1.900 years from now?" Oolumbua Dispatch.
La mt Lasarr.
Ruth Chetterton, the pretty little star of "Daddy
iongT Lee." shows us that a wee child caa some
times guess right the very first time.
Wait la meaat by the lap of luxury?" asked a
teacher ef a clasa of little gtrta.
, "Fleaae. ma'asa, X know," exclaimed the smallest
of the lot, holding p her hand.
"Well, what ia It, deer?" xnquinad the teacher.
kindly.
"It's when the cat steals into tha larder and llcata
the cream off the xullk," responded the tittle one.
And the teacher, on reflection, wasn't quite suie
that her pupil was wrong. Philadelphia Ledger.
Ala a V.mA of Batllee.
OMAHA, Jan. 22,-To the Editor of Th
Bee: A correspondent cites the com
mandment, "Thou Shalt not kill." to sup
port his argument that war Is forbidden
from on high. He should read on. and
he will learn of how Moee gave his In
structions to Joahua, and held up hla
staff while the children of Israel fought
and overcame the hosts of Amalek. And
all along the way from Esiypt to the
promised land, battle followed battle, till
the kingdom of the Jews was established.
Moses waa a warrior, David was a war
rior, and Solomon led his armies. So
long aa the Hebrews kept their faith with
(iod. their arms supported their kingdom
with victory. Their God waa a god ot
battles, as well as a god of peace. Christ
said: "I am not come to send peace but
a sword." St. John the divine, tells of
the rider on the white horse: "In rlght
eousnesa he doth Judge and make war."
Pacifists who rely upon the Bible to
support their arguments must Ignore a
great deal that Is written there.
OLD FOOT.
Prefer Cewnell to Commission.
MAGIC CITT, Jan. Xl.-To the Editor
of The Bee: Some time ago a writer and
yourself asked for opinions as to the best
form of city government. I once gave It
as my opinion (which I have not changed)
that the whole etty would be better rep-'
resented by a councilman (Instead of a
commission) form of government. The
reasons are so obvious that they need
no explanation. At present (and as the
writer believes, will always be) there
is no one to represent about 60,000 popu
lation on the South Side of the big city.
Ninety-five per cent of the Omaha people
know that this is a great Injustice, but
it la the selfish nature Impregnated In
the human being that causes the strong
to take advantage of the weak.
I J. G. BLESSING.
D. A. R.'e Vindicate School Board.
OMAHA. Jan. S.-To the Editor of The
Bee: At a regular meeting of Omaha
chapter. Daughters of the American
Revolution, upon the request of the chair
man of the committee on patriotic edu
cation, the members were addressed by
Superintendent Graff and Dr. Jenkins of
the Board of Education on the subject of
"American History In the Central High
School." After listening to these gentle
men, it waa discovered that the report
that American history had been made
elective In the high school waa a com
plete misapprehension.
The action taken soma time ago by
the board Implied nothing more than tha
giving to the principal of the high school
a very limited and particular discretion,
in excusing a few pupils upon whom the
requirement might seem to work some
thing of a hardship. Moreover, the
board's action, provided that this dis
cretion was to be exercised subject to i
the approval of the board's committee
on teachers and courses of Instruction.
It was found that instead of reducing the
study of our American life and lnetltu
tlons, the hoard had made a requirement
of civics from every pupil. It was also
found that twenty-five more pupils are
taking American history this year than
last.
The Omaha chapter feels that In Justice
to the Board of Education, thla public
endorsement ot the board's action is due.
MRS. F. R. STRAIGHT, Regent.
MRS. W. D. WILLIAMS, Chairman Edu
cational Committee.
Fheaaeetla la Fevers.
OMAHA. Jan. St. Ta the Editor of The
Bee: About fifty years ago, Charcot, an
eminent physician of France, declared
that K per cent of ail diseases had their
origin In the digestive tract. A few years
later Charles Bouchard, who was asso
ciated with Charcot. In a long aeries ot
experiments made the positive demonstra
tion and termed the condition autointox
ication, a poisoning ot the body by chem
ical substances taken into the body as
foods and drinks In excess of the bodily
requirements, and also the failure to ellrri
Inate waste and worn out .materials
through the natural outlets.
The development ot the microscope and
the discovery of various forms of germ
life, were the foundation for commercial
action, -and Induced the physicians to
adopt the erroneous germ theory to which
moat physicians everywhere today ad
here. Consequently their treatment of the
slok person is wrong, because they are
fighting germs Instead of purifying the
poisoned blood stream that gives life and
development to these germs. To control
fever wherever it Is found, they use coal
tar products, such aa phenacetln (a popu
lar medicine made from phenol-carbollo
add), and they succeed, for the patient
loses the fever on the cooling board of
the undertaker after the heart has been
paralysed by the phenacetln, aspirin.
acentaneltd. creosote or some other coal
tar product.
To allow typhoid fever to continue ten
week or more when It can be positively
controlled In ten days or leas, is a moral
crime and such a ' physician should be
severely punished. Every case of croupous
pneumonia, in comfortable condttlona, if
seen the first day of tha fever csn be
surely and safety aborted in forty-eight
hours, or less, and the patient be out of
all danger and on the rapid road to re
covery. What a disgrace that Omaha has
had so many fatal cases ot pneumonia
this winter. Scarlet fever patients should
not die end will not when properly treated
by a perfect method of elimination. It Is
the feeding, the ice pack and phenacetln
that I condemn, and that cause heart
failure and death In families of those
who have comfortable homes and good
attention. Germophobla and commercial
ism predominate and the people dare not
do their own thinking. Although Juergen
sen's method of treating the patient and
assorting pneumonia haa been In success
ful use for more than forty years many
physicians have never heard of It.
To Juergensen's method add the alka
loidal and elimination ideas and there
should be few. or no death, from croup
ous pneumonia, scarlet fever or typhoid
fever in homes with comfortable condt
tlona Think of It, more than 100,000 death
from pneumonia each winter in these
United States of America. The primary
cause ia essentially a poisoned blood
stream, due to putting in more food than
the system ran utilise, or does actually
need, to which add the failure ot the body
to set rid of thla surplus of food and
chemical substances from the biological
changes in the body, and this condition
aggravated and Increased by chilling the
body and reducing toe vital lorcee.
I would give the publio the truth, and
ask people to dare to do their own think
ing even though I receive the condemna
tion of the medical profession and the
whole world.
DR. A. U MERlUAaL
Out of the Ordinary
In time lost and medical attention, th
wage earners of this country have an an
nual sick bill of tSSO.Ono.OOO.
It Is believed that all linns are -left-handed."
A famous explorer says that
when a Hon desires to strike a forcible
blow It nearly always use the left paw.
A lightning bolt at Laurel, Del., struck
a half-grown chicken and stripped It as
clean of feathers as a new-laid egg. leav
ing the Mrd none the worse for the ex
perience except for lack of covering.
Ten layers of hone. each eight feet
long and more than a foot thick, the
whole weighing nearly 200 pounds waa the
sweet surprise a Maine man found the
other day in the chimney of a farm
house he had Just bought.
Nowhere else does the wind blow so
hard and steadily aa, In the Falkland
Islands. Tree growth Is practically Impos
sible owing to this peculiarity, and with
such force does the wind sweep that re
gion at times that potatoes and turnips
have been blown out of the ground.
Grass, however, grows luxuriantly.
The swiftest dog In the world the bor
sol. or Russian wolf hound, has made rec
ord runs that show seventy-five feet In
a second, while the gazelle has shown
measured speed of more than eighty feet
a second, which would give It a speed of
4.W0 feet in a minute if the pace could
be kept up.
Muscat, the capital of Oman, on the
Persian gulf, la called the "hottest place
on earth," by a writer In Travel. Tne day
he arrived In this sncient capital the ther
mometer registered 125 degrees Fahren
heit. TO escape the midday heat the In
habitants resort to underground shelters
called "aerdads," the sunken windows of
which are stuffed with brush that Is
sprinkled with water so as to establish a
current of cool air. Aa the center of the
date trade, Muscat Is In frequent com
munication with America.
CHEERY CHAFF.
I.!ttv4 tm Three Ueteaeee.
St. Louts Globe-Democrat: When Mr.
rerklns says that the colonel la first
second and third choice or the pro
gressives It becomes obvious that he la
limited to three guesses.
Editorial Snapshots
Washington Post: A splendid, example
of modern efficiency methods is found in
the brisk manner in which a political
party can scrap its last platform.
Boston Transcript: "Henry D. Esta
brook," discovers the New Tork Sun, "is
a descendant of John Alden." Hence the
value of sneaking for himself may be
said to be en Inherited ins inct.
' Baltimore American: A few days be
fore Senator Works of California in
troduced his resolution calling for armed
Intervention In Mexico, he delivered a
speech denouncing any strengthening of
the army of the United States. There
is a statesman for you.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: Senator Phelan
wants a S5.000.0O0 naval academy for Cali
fornia and Representative Humphrey
wants one for the state of Washington.
That, they preaumably figure, will be
about all the "preparedness" the folks
back home will need at present
"flood cooks ask such high wage rirw
that few people can afford to keep one."
I have one of the net in town, anoi
I don't pay her any wares, either, nor
give her a slnale day off. '
"How do you manare It?"
"I married her." Baltimore American.
Phro you rtmrmner that you once
proposed to me and that I refused you?
He Yes: that Is one ot life's most beau
tiful memories. Buffalo Courier.
"My son was voted the most popular
man In his class. He sraduatee soon."
"Popular, eh? Then you won't get
much work out of him for the next twe
years. Most of his time will be taken up
In acting as best man. coaching various
tesms. and boosting glee club tours."
Boston Transcript.
"I wish I knew who was going to bs
nominated.
Hi Rood fairy appeared.
"Poandso Is the man." she whispered
In his ear.
"Oocd enough! I'll root for him. Put
will he do anything for me. if elected?"
"That I cannot tell you." atahed the
good fslry. "There are limitations eva
to a fairy's powers." Louisville Courier
Journal. "I dined at my fiancee's home today. n
"No doubt they reirard vou as one of
the family by now, don't they?"
"Not yet. They haven't reached the
point where they bawl me out if I make
a spot on the tablecloth." Puck.
"Are you married, my man?" a woman
asked a sailor.
"Yes, Indeed, mum married and four
tee,, children."
"Poor fellow, traveling about like this!
And don't you eer get homesick??
"Onlv when I'm home, mum." New
York Times.
"Pa, what Is a diplomat?"
"A diplomat, my son, is a man who re
members a woman's birthday, but forgets
her age." Philadelphia Ledger.
He Now that we are In this great field
alone with each other and nature, let
me tell you a aweet secret
She It s co out of this field Into the
potato patc',1. You must remember that
though potatoes have eyes, corn has
ears. Baltimore American.
'Tell Mrs. Gaddy to be careful; there's
a displaced wire around."
"It won't hurt her. She's been rubber
ing so long she thoroughly Insulated."
Baltimore American.
"I want a pair of pants for my sick
husband," exclaimed the woman.
"What else?" asked the clerk.
"I don't know, but I think he wears a
HV collar." Philadelphia Ledger.
Austrian Officer Donnerwetter! I'm
sick of the war. I wish I was in heaven.
German Officer Ja wohl! For my part
I wish I was In a beer garden.
Austrian Officer Ach. Ja, you always
try to pick out the best for yourself!
Passing Show.
MY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.
He sleeps all day and harks all night;
It surely Is a holy fright
To listen to his dismal howl
And then to see his master scowl
Because 1 ask him to control
His barking dog that wrecks my soul;
Depriving me of needed sleep.
Of which I seldom get a peep.
Unless perchance the dog should choose
To go and take a little anooie.
I've listened to his howl for years.
With shattered nerves, I'm shedding tears
About the sleep I did not get.
And while that dog Is barking yet
I have no right to use the gag
For on that dog there Is a tag
That gives to him the town's permit
To bark, or howl, or have a fit;
But oft at night about eleven,
I wish that dog was in Dog heaven.
Omaha. R. F. WILLIAMS.
I j fares and; Service ; J
I To the SpiLptth
Jacksonville, Fla....
Miami, Fla
Ormond, Fla
Penaacola, Fla.....
Blloxl, Miss
Charleston, S. C...
Lake Charles, La
Fort Worth, Tex...
Augusta, Ga......
St Petersburg, Fla
Round Trip
From Omaha
$50.68
72.78
57.08
43.78
41.18
60.68
39.78
30.78
49.78
62.28
Tampa, Fla
St Augustine, Fla..
Palm Beach, Fla....
New Orleans, La...
Mobile, Ala
San Antonio, Tex. . .
Houston, Tex
Savannah, Qa
Key West, Fla
Havana, Cuba
Round Trip
From Omaha
$62.28
62.98
69.18
41.18
41.18
40.18
40.18
60.68
83.78
87.18
Attractive Circuit Tours of the South
Embracing New Orleans and Florida
or Florida and Washington. D. C.
The Trains to Use:
Chicago Trains at 7:05 A. M., 3:45 P. M., 6:30 P. M.
In Connection with the Well-Known Trains,
"The Southland," "The Royal Palm," "Dixie Flyer,?
"Seminole Limited."
AT 9:15 A. M., arriving: Kansas City at
4:05 P. M. for connection with early
evening trains south.
Kansas
City
Trains
"St. Louis
Special"
IB iriiij
I i lite i
AT 4:30 P. M., arriving: Kansas City 11 P.
M.; yon are in Memphis, Fort Worth or
Dallas for supper, San Antonio and the
Golf Country the second morning.
AT 11:05 P. M. Lounge car train (ready
10 P. M.), connects with all morning
trains from Kansas City.
AT 4:30 P. M., arriving St. Louis next
morning; Union Station connections with
trains South and Southwest.
Ask for "Winter Tours" leaflet and at
tractlvs literature ef the South, fares,
routes and service to Southern and Gulf
resorts. Let us help you plan an attractive
Southern tour.
J. B. REYNOLDS, City Passenger Agent,
Farnam and Sixteenth Streets.
Phones: D. 1238 and D. 3680.
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how. good advertising may be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really succcessfuL
ter nth and Harney the cut will be tea f
I