Tin: r.KK: omaha, Thursday, .January is, ioig.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR.
Th Hp Publishing Company. Proprietor.
tr.K BUILDING. FARNAM AND FEVFNTEKNTH.
Kntfrra at Omaha postofflee a econd-claa matter.
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ornrES.
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Pouth Omaha Zll N street
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DECEMBER lilt t l..TION.
53,534
fltate of Nebraska. County of Ponging, a: '
I 'Wight Willlama, circulation mansger of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly aworn, aaya that the
average circulation for the month of December. 1915,
waa .S3. MM.
DWIOHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and aworn to before
ma, this 4th dav of January. 1t.
ROBERT HUNTER. Notary Public.
Bubacribrra leaving the city temporarily
ahoDld hare The Bee mailed to them. Ad
dreaa will be changed aa often aa reqneated.
aTaaoary li ' 1
Thought for the Day
5cf by Clarm E. But bank
Wt thould fill tht hour with tht lh' )j
If tea hav but a day;
Wt ihould drink alone at the purttt tprinqi it
our upward way;
Wt tltould lore with a liftt tru low in mn hour
If the hour t wir$ few;
Wt thou'.d rtsl, not for drtami, but Irtuhtr
Power to bi and to do.
Mary L. Dirkinton. ,
The tragedy of Oalllpoll may be forgotten la
time, but the cemeteries of war remain.
There la no mistaking the quality of the
goods Medicine Hat puts out In Its January white
sails.
Preparedness consists In having the coal bin
in condition to put the shoulders of a cold wave
on the mat.
The vacant chair on the federal bench con
tinues accumulating dust and giving hope the
gas treatment.
Haste to the trenches men! Sagamore Hill
la popping and Perkins still leads the commis
sary department.
About once a month Maximilian Harden is
rf minded by a suppressed edition that the sword
Is mightier than the pen.
The preliminary snort of the moosers at Chi
cago indicates that republicans cannot build a
fence high enough to keep 'em out.
A permanent peace board has ample oppor
tunities for good service, but a second board
may be needed to preserve the peace among the
peace boarders.
However, the national sense of humor Is suf
ficiently keen to recognize Secretary McAdoo't
joke about the makers of automobiles, not the
owners, paying the tax.
Political boilers at Uncoln and Chicago blew
off steam simultaneously. The next day a blls
sard curled up the hot air. War Is not the only
vehicle of cruelty In the world.
The United States Chamber of Commerce
might have known without Inquiry that there
-would be precious little doing in the antl-trual
ln during a presidential campaign year.
A survey of Mare Island navy yard reveals
1 enough mud to supply the needs of California
X politicians for a quarter of a century. Ajid they
j the expert distributers of that commodity.
' J rw--1- i ii ii naaaaaaan
nu4 itAAril
When the Bliimrd Blowi.
When old Boreas rides abroad Is one time
when Nature reslly plays with msn. His ef
forts are set at naught, and the utmost of his
endeavors are to find shelter from the fury of
the storm. The mighty forces Involved are part
of the universal mechanism, set In motion by
the operation of laws on which all being hangs.
Bnt the bllxrard lacks the msjeaty of the sum
mer storm, and holds little of the tornado's ter
ror. It hss no accompaniment of forked light
ning, tearing a midnight sky with Jagged gashes
ol flame, snd no peal of thunder cracks the dome
of heaven to shatter timid nerves. The splendor
of the bllr.rard is little appreciated by Its be
holders, who have slight Inclination for. seek
ing out beauty while sustaining the buffets of
the roaring wind. Yet 'the blizzard is not with
out Its uses.
In the wake of the wind comes the promise
of clearer, brighter winter weather, with service
t the soil thst presages another season of boun
tiful crops. No widespread suffering Is entailed,
for man knows and makes provision against the
blast, while good will eventually come from
winter's worst exhibition of elemental energy
uncontrolled. '
Newlands on His Party's Blunders.
8enator Newlands of Nevada has just held
the mirror up to the democratic donkey, to let
the beast see Just how long his ears have grown
since President Wilson took office. No repub
lican opponent of the administration has so mer
cilessly dissected Mr. Wilson s policies, or the
effect of the democrats at reformatory legisla
tion. 8enator Newlands carefully and keenly
criticizes every act of his parly in power, its ad
ministrative Incompetence, its legislative blun
ders and Its general and total failure to redeem
lta promises. That the party was not swept
from power at the election in 1914 he ascribes
to the fortuitous advent of the European war.
The L'nderwood tariff bill did not, according
to the senator, accomplish the reforms sought,
but brought with It disaster and distrust, "the
result not of a malicious effort of the manufac
turers to teach the country a lesson, but of the
caution and timidity" that was a natural se
quence of the adoption of the democratic idea
of free trade and its enactment Into law. Bank
ing legislation had even worse effects. Instead
of being non-partisan, it Is partisan, the reserve
board Is tied to a department and under its con
trol, excess capital was exacted from the mem
ber banks, and the reserve associations are or
ganlzed Into profit-making institutions, some
thing entirely foreign to( the original purpose
ot the bill. Additional legislation must be had
to make the law meet the requirements.
Other failures of the party 'a program wer
referred to by the senator, whose disclosures of
the admtnstration's shortcomings Is especially
Important Just now, when the leaders of the
party are trying to divert attention from their
mistakes by the ancient subterfuge of getting the
people Interested In something else just before
election. The democrats will be tried on their
record, which la bad.
Applause for Everything;.
The sympathetic chronicle ot the democratic
love-feast In the local democratic organ Is beaded
"State Democrats Loudly Acclaim Leaders ot
Party," and this assertion is borne out by all
accounts of the great event, the acclaim being
generously bestowed on both sides of every is
sue and on diametrically opposed statesmen.
Applause for the president's preparedness
program and applause for the Bryanite anti-preparedness
campaign.
Applause for the candidate projected by the
wets and applause for the ultimatum that none
but dry candidates will be acceptable.
Applause for the democratic national admin
istration and applause for members of the dele
gation In congress who have been bolting cau
cuses and fighting administration measures in
order to enforce larger patronago demands.
Applause for the governor who solemnly
promised to quit with one term and applause foi
the suggestion that he run again now for a third
term.
Applause is alwaya on tap without limit at a
democratic love-feast and nothing can be too in
congruous with the last thing applauded to fall
to get Its hand too.
A movement haa been Inaugurated to cloa the re
tall clothing- houaea of Omaha at p. m , until
April 1. the firms signing the agreement being- aa ful
lus: J. P. I.und. M. Ilellman & Co., Madaen tt Has
inusacn, M. Klgutter, I!. Newman It Co., llersgiom
olson, Chan Brothers, U O. Jones, tha misfit Parbw.
To Orphans. M. Goldsmith, pltlreinan Brothers at Co.,
Famous Clothing Iarlora.
Superintendent Porranre of tha t'nlon Pacific has
been confined to hla home during tha taut tew days.
Tha election of National bank off leer a show those
hank presidents; Omaha National. J. H. Mtllatd;
Commercial National. Eira Millard; Merchants Na
tional, Krank Murphy; Fiiat National. Herman
Kouiitie; United Ktatre National, C. W. Hamilton; Nr
laka National, Henry W. Yates.
The mayor haa aptolnted John Jenkins boiler In-ste-tor(
and the appointment was promptly con
firmed. Miss Usxie Cantifld, who has been spending tha
tioUdava at hoiae, left to resume her studies at Rock
furd. III.
Tbe West End club met at the house of T. W.
Cook on Dodge street.
Th Omaha Turntereiu Is preparing for lta thir
teenth annual ball. The arrangements are In the
hands of this cummlttae: l Hclmrod. H. Haulieus.
'. llaarmou, F. Wells. K. hltln. . .vrug, W. I.
Hi of'ker
Mr. and Mis. J. J Fountain are leaving for Nr
Mr i.o ' for the benfit of Mr. Fountain a dvliiato
lunlUi
aKMinat red ..'e.
ij. A. Kaunders. clerk of the loas ud damage deak
at the I'nioo Pat-lllc. haa been ap(olnted assistant
tUim agent at the office In Salt Lake City.
England'! Commercial Instinct
The London Daily Mall presents an indict
ment against the British government that ought
to sting. That paper presents proof to support
its statement that all kinds of foodstuff from
England reach Oermany through Denmark.
When the British government seized meats con
signed by American packers "to order" at Copen
hagen and Stockholm, its pretext was that these
meats were destined for enemy consumption. In
proof of this, it waa submitted that statistics
einced a far greater supply of food entering the
Scandinavian countries than could be consumed
there. It waa mildly Insinuated, and indignantly
denied, that the British cabinet aought to force
American shippers to land stuff at British ports,
that it might be transshipped through British
aKencies, and thus preserve the commerce of the
kingdom. Disclosures now made by the London
paper shows tbe commercial Instinct of the Eng
lish tradesmen to be quite as keen as ever in
history. 8ir Edward Grey is blamed, but the
strenuous endeavor to shut off traffic between
the United States and the Scandinavian ports is
now better understood.
How Hard Times Taught
Railroads to Save Money
Editorial Snapshots
MIRTHFUL REMARKS.
THE bualneaa depression of 11S. 1914 snd the early
part of 1915. while it caused a number of rail
road recelverohlpa, at leaet resulted In lome tt
turna for the railroads generally. Railroad men ad
mit that this depression taught the railroads "how to
save In expensea aa no other period of depression
ever did. Jamoa J. Hill had demonatrated the trite
principle that railroads could aave money If they In
creased the load carried by each train between any
two or more points. Experimentation In train load
ing was taken up all over the continent. In the fiscal
year that ended June 30, 1915, earnings of railroads
of the United States were $lfi3,0O9,Vi0 leas than In W I.
The reports showed, however, that the operating ex
pen ne s were cut by HW.OOO.trX), so that the books ac
tually showed an Increase In net returna. According
to the Hallway Age Gazette, a little over half of this
aavlng waa In transportation expenses, which wen
reduced cents a mile. A cut In that claaa of ex
pensea represented the real test of efficiency snd
represented a real aavlng. The Gazette presents tha
results of train loading on thirty-five different rall
roada as practiced In the fiscal year ended June ?0.
Out of these thirty-five roads, Including the biggest
aystems In the country, twenty-eight ehowed in
creases In their tonnage per freight train, aa com
pared with the fiscal year of 1914.
According to these statistic s the average tons per
train carried on theae thirty-five roads was 5U, com
pared with 482 in 1914. Thla Is an Increaae of twenty
two tons for each train. The most remarkable fea
ture of this liowln(f was that the increase per train
was accomplished In a year when most roada had de
creases in lrelght traffic, and when, consequentlj',
the difficulty of Increasing tralnloada waa especially
great. The good reaulta attained meant that a greater
tonnage was handled without a proportionate increase
In the number of tralna. That waa the acme of suc
cess for the railroad efficiency engineer.
In 1S94 the average number of tons per freight
train was 179.8. In 19"4 it waa 308.1 tons. And In 1914
It waa 451. tors, a gain In twenty yeara of 152 per
lent. Judging by the records of the thirty-five reil
roada In 1915. the increaae to data has been even
greater. In 1894 the railroads of the ITnlted States
hauled o,33R.O0O,MO tons of freight one mile and in
1914 a total of 2W.3I8.oi,iH0 tons one mile. This la an
increase of X9 per cent; but It was handled with only
42 per cent more train-miles. The 1914 ton-mileage
also represents an Increaae of 65 per cent over that of
1904, which waa 174,522,000, hut It required an Increaae
of only 12.5 per cent In traln-mlles. In other words,
to have handled the traffic of 1914 with the average
train of 1W4 would have required running 1.6i!O.O0O,0O
traln-mlles Instead of 638.ono.O0O. The aavlng. 92,000 0n0
traln-mlles. Is 160 per cent of the train-miles actually
run In 1914. The average cost of operation per train
mile for all tralna, as ahown by the Interstate Com
merce commlasion reports, wss 11.31 in 1904 snd 11.77
in 1914. The cost per traln-mlle in freight service Is
considerably higher than the average for both freight
and pesaenger service. While It la impossible to atate
exactly the average cost of operation for a freight
train mile. It la evident that a saving of 9A2.0OO.O0O
traln-milea means a aavlng of hundreds of millions of
dollars annually In operating expenses.
When compared with this actual accomplishment,
Loula D. Brandela' "aclentlflc management" schemes
for aavlng the railroada $1,000,000 a day pale Into in
significance. Even the average loading of S07.8 tons
In 14 would have required running 936,000,000 train
miles in 114, Instead of the 638,000.000 actually run, so
that the saving aa compared with ten years before
waa 268,000.000 traln-mlles. This was accomplished
both by using larger cars, by loading more tons of
freight Into a car and by ualng more cars per train.
The average number of loaded cars per train was
Increased from 17.4 In 1904 to 21.4 In 1914. while tha
average number of tona per loaded car waa IncreaaeJ
from 17.T to 21. t. The amount of the Increaae In tons
per train from 1904 to 1914 alone la greater than the
total average tona per train for the railways In most
other countries. Outside of Canada and Mexico, Ger
many la tha only country in the world whose railways
come anywhere near ours In train loading. The fig
ures for some of the principal countries for 1912 are
as follows: Canada, 325.3; Germany. 240.4; Mexico.
224.1; India. 184.4; Austria. ISO. 5; Roumatila. 143.7;
France. 141.7; Holland, 137.1; Swttxerland, 132.8; Japan,
110.7; South Australia. 109 .
A perceptible hole in the supply of horses In
the United States has been made by purchasers
on account of the warring governments. Tbe
Hast St. Louis market reports $34,000,000 have
been paid for 195,000 horses at that point. The
figures yield an average of 1174.38 per bead. Ex
tensive purchases have been made at dmaha, aa
well as at eastern and western points, which
would multiply the Kast St. lxuls record several
times. Measured by tha dollar, horseflesh Is an
Important part of the war munitions sent
abroad.
Politically
Twice Told Tales
beer la a Htm I'p.
A professional boxer was badly beaten In a sparring
match, and carried to hla bed In an exhausted and
melancholy condition.
"I wish you'd aay something to cheer htm tip.
doctor," pleaded the defeated warrlor'a wife. "He's
gettln' low In hla mind, and when he's like that you've
no Idea how hard It Is to wait on him. He's woras
than a bear with a toothache."
"What can I ssy thst will please him moat?" asked
the doctor.
"You might Just tell him, In an offhand way,
that the man aa licked him la mighty bad In the h ca
pital, and that they may have to hold a post-mortem
on him any minute now," was the solemn suggestion.
Chicago Herald.
- For Safety' a Sake.
Bualneaa waa very brisk, so the firm appointed Pat
rick foreman, a position of which he waa very proud.
He waa alwaya fusalng around, ordering this and
altering that. One morning hla gang of men atopped
work because tliey heard the well-known voice of their
new foreman ahoutlng loudly.
Down below on the ground atood fat, yelling lustily
and waving his arms wildly.
"Ol ssy, you, up there!" he shouted. "You knw
that ladder at the end of the scaffolding? Well, don't
any uv yes thry to come down, because I've taken It
away!" Philadelphia Record.
toat'
Speak la.
FIORENCK. Neb.. Jan. 12-To the
Kdltor of The Bee: Don't talk prepared
ness when everyone Is sick of the word
war, unless you advocate the manufac
ture of munitions by our government.
Don't advocate prohibition, but elimi
nate all taxea and licenses on liquor and
have the government appoint field men
to take charge of the traffic In districts.
Don't allow Carranxa to march sol
diers on A merles n soil without, giving
General Villa the aame chance, and each
are entitled to recognition.
Don't send American war vessels to
Vera Crus to be saluted by an old repro
bate like Huerta, which would be a dis
grace to our country.
Don't allow England to demonetize our
silver so they can purchase products in
Indian cheaper, also giving our money
changera one-half better chance to cor
ner our money market than they had
under the free and unlimited coinage of
both metals.
Don't advocate single tax or percen
tage tax on Inheritances or Incomes, but
give us taxation on the percentage basis
on a man'a wealth.
Don't advocate a tariff tax, but give
ua free trade. Tariff haa made more
mlllionalrea and paupers thsn sny other
legislation.
Don't neglect to vote for men that
will help tbe government break up
every monopoly now in existence ao the
value of every article sold or purchased
comes over the plate on a supply and
demand basis.
Don't advocate woman suffrage un
less you are for the compulsory ballot.
More good, honest legislation goes by
default on account of the stay-at-home
voter than for any other reason.
Don't be afraid to criticise our love
aick president. No one is infallible snd
agitation will 'help to bring reform
measures.
Don't be prejudiced against W. J.
Bryan, tbe man of the hour, who run
the aubsldised preas of this country in
their holes for lying about him before
he resigned. The man who carries the
pesca dove and the msn who cannot be
coerced and the man who ought to be
president of the United States.
Don't eompMn on paying a high rate
of Interest If you are not a believer In
securing loans direct from your Uncle
Samuel through our Poatoffice depart
ment, under the rural credit bill now
before congress.
Don't get cold feet when It comes to
voting bonds for good roada, as poster
ity reapa a benefit from this snd ought
to be willing to help pay for same.
Don't allow your throughta to be In
favor of giving away our great water
power of thla state of Nebraska. State
ownership la the only way to be recog
nised. Don't criticise Henry Ford, but wslt
for results. It Is good of fcim to try
even if he falls.
Don't worry if that eltce of meat you
purchase looks small for tha money if
you are not In favor of th municipal
meat market.
Don't cuss the colored population
when they purchase property close to
yours and undermine the value of your
property one-half if you are not in
favor of segregation.
C. I. NETHAWAT.
Rnters a Dissent.
HAMPTON. Neb., Jan. 12.-To the
Editor of The Bee: What gets my goat
la why ao many Germans and German
sympathisers stay In America if they
think so much of the German cause? Why
don't they so over there and get some
of the sure-cure hardships which would
stop their knocking?
If Mr. Arp were In Germany and would
aay auch things In the public press against
the kaiser he would be aent to prison.
The kalaer evidently did not realise
i he had ao many enemiea at the beginning
of this greatest of world'a wars, and the
greater part of the world la against Ger
many and while It is trespassing on other
nations' soil they all are fighting for
their fatherland and yet boaat about not
an enemy of the seven nations sgainst
It being on its soil. Mr. Arp explain this.
STEPHEN 8. BITTICK.
J I Nehraska Editors
I i
People and Events
The disturbance caused by freauent cam-
,. ' dr.pi.e ,he lady . eapreaaed de.n. to Ma, ,)l6n, ,r, mor- ,han baUni.et, by th, educa.
and uh Ui I10,t lllwl suit she has brought 1 , ,. . . .
i uunm ruauiis. v iinom me enlightenment of
candidates' declarations tbe average voter would
rever realize the menacing Incompetence or su
perlative goodness of existing governments.
Only, one Infidel 'fesaed up to the church census
takera In Hprtngficld. 111. The city la strong on
church people, twenty-three denominations being rep
resented In a censua total of 31,129.
Mrs. Thomas A. Edison and her aon, Thomaa, were
held up near their home in New Jeraey because their
auto carried laat year'a number. Toung Thomas dis
covered the price In his clothes and settled on the spot.
One of the ten rulea of long life formulated by a
Chicago centenarian cutlawa the tobacco habit. Albert
A. Weat. W. of Hornell, N. Y., and Mrs. West, S3, have
been hitting the pipe so long they haven't kept track
of the years, and are still at It When elders disagree
who shall decide for the youngsters?
A Philadelphia nameaake of the actreaa explains
how Ada Rehan happened to uae that name Instead
of Crehan, her proper name, lis says the change
came when aha waa billed at the Arch Street theater
In 1T& The bill printer spelled her name Rehan In
stead of Orehan, and alias Crehan, after a conference
with her aasoclatea, decided to use tbe aew and acci
dental name.
The first and foremost aid to a buay man in of
fice, workshop or home, the World Almanac, makes
ita New Year bow to a multitude of admirers, whose
Klad htiifls welcome It to Ita regular Job. Thoae who
have the World Alnianao habit never lack a mental
stimulus and are ,-lglit up. to the minute in things
woith knowing. Thus who know it not miss a foun
tain of knowledge. The 191S volume records every
thing worth while that happened last year, not only
a chronology of the war, election returna. crop reports,
sporting events, and statistical matter, but an
abundance of freeh facta and features which mark
the march of human progreaa. As a ready reference
book the World Almanac U at the head of the claaa.
Editor F. M. Broome of the Alliance
Newa waa appointed register of the
United States land office at Valentine
Neb., laat week.
The first thing that Editor Krewson
the new proprietor of the Elm Creek Bea
con did, waa to get out an all home-print
edition.
The Northwest Nebraska Preaa associa
tion will hold a meeting at Wayne Janu
ary 28 and 29-
Ira W, Naylor has purchased the Ulys
ses Saturday Nlgbt Review from Dewey
Shay.
Juniata Herald: We hope some Has
tings girl will have the nerve to catch
Adam Breede, the old bachelor editor of
the Daily Tribune. He ahould become a
good family man thla leap year.
The editor of the Silver Creek Sand
aaya that a man who squeeses a dollar
never squeeses his wife, and further adds,
that in looking over hla aubscription list
he la led to believe that there are quite a
few good women in that community who
are being aadly neglected.
The Nellgh Leader after a trial of four
months haa changtd from a semi-weekly
to a weekly basis. Best Brothera, the
proprietors, came to the conclusion that
the extra Issue was not demanded by tbe
advertisers and waa not popular with the
majority of the subscribers.
Terumaeh Chieftain: W, M. Zents has
leased the Brock Bulletin to Arthur J.
Bailey of that town for the year 1914. In
announcing his retirement from the sheet
Brother Zents says his wife gave hint
nine pairs of socks for Christ ma a, and
he ia going to devote the year to wearing
them out Lucky devil.
Chicago Herald: Nebraska Is having a
harj time getting anybody to let his
name be prcnented at the presidential
prlnimlcs. but In case of absolute neces
sity she knows one name ehe can always
rely on.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: Tlie horrors of
war ate getting terribly twisted, some
how. It Is announced that the price of
beer will be advanced In this country;
and nt the same time we hear that the
price of beer will be reduced In Munich.
Indianapolis Journal; It was only a
little while apo hr.i there were pessimis
tic predictions of the effci t of this coun
try's excess rauidty for Iron and steel
production. An-1 now the steel trust Is
Increasing that cuiaclty aa fast a it 1
possible with ur limited resources. Such
Is life in war times.
Cleveland PHIn Dealer: Too many
members of ronsress Wlleve that the only
sdequate national defense involves as a
first step the building of innumerable
granite poRtoffics back home where their
constituents can ace them often and re
mark upon the successful statesmanship
of their congressmen.
New York World: "What causes lack
of confidence In railroads?" la a question
which the Pennsylvania Is Inviting all of
Its patrons to anrwer. Po far aa that
road Is eoneerneJ the answers will be
fewer than they vould have been In the
old days of President "Tom" Scott, when
motions to adjourn the Pennsylvania leg
islature were aald to take this form: "Mr.
Speaker, if Thomaa Scott has no further
business to submit I move that we ad
journ."
Springfield Republican: The launching
of the boom of Mr. Fairbanks of Indiana
for the republican presidential nomination
Is not to be lightly regarded perhaps. Mr.
Fairbanks, who will be remembered as
the vice president while Mr. Roosevelt
waa president In 10"i-)'.W, goes Into a
campaign with the purpose of staying in
it until the nomination Is actually made.
Hla tenacity in contesting the nomination
for president in 1908, when Mr. Taft was
nominated, cannot have been forgotten.
It may be taken for granted that the
Indiana and Kentucky republican delega
tions are already clinched by the Fair
banks organization in those states. Count
the former vico. president In the running.
' Kx 'oiik rrs.-nn.'in Flubdub wan's B llt
tle wrltrup," remarked the magazine pub
lisher. What shiill e say about him'.' '
I 'What did he ever do?"
I 'Nothing." ,
I ' sv he upheld the best traditions of
conuresM. That means little, tor or
1 sgulnst. '-Louisville ( ourlrr-Journal.
I "Cheer up. "M man! All things come to
those who wait." ,
'Nut a situation; not a osition.
"Sure tiiev lo! You'll find yourself in
an unplcHSHiit situation and an enihar
tsssing i-osltlon If oti only wait Ions
enough." liostoy Transcript.
First Bridge Fiend I once knew a man
I who bad thlrt'-cn trumps and never took
a trick.
I Second Hrldge Fiend-How so?
first Hrldg.- Kb'iid Ills partner led an
I ace, he trumped, snd then lit partner
threw hl'ii out of the window. Hruncnia n
Little Dottle hud never seen an old
fnxhlnncd bed of the colonial style, so
when she visited an old fatfllly home
stead and saw the big four-poster, but
minus Its cuno.iy, nlie cried in astonish
ment: "h. unity, what a funny bed'
Why, It's upside down!" Baltimore
American.
"Yep, 1 got n Job cocking for a lady."
"Hal. you don t know nothing about
cooking."
"Don't have o know nothing. She's a
bride and J am 1 er first cook." Kansas
City Journal.
"Do vou enlov srand opera?"
"Yes." replied Mr. Cumrox. "It's a
great relief to ine to see mother and the
girls settin' rlrcsHcd P an" perfectly quiet
lettin' Komebndv else make all tbe tmlse
an' do all the dancin'." Washington Star.
A LEAP YEAR PROPOSAL
Baltimore American.
Dear Harry:
I write you this letter.
My heart the while guiding my pen.
To tell you I lon lave adored you
As sweetest mid dearest of men:
My fancy, perhaps it has wandered
To others, but 1 never knew
What true love was, dearest believe me,
Cntll the day when I met YOU.
I
And now. thouch I hardly have courage
My doubts and my fears to command,
For I feel of your love I'm not worthy,
I ask will you give me your hand?
Permit me to apeak to your mother,
A nd heir her to blast not my life
By refusing consent to my prayer
To cherish you e'er as your wife.
I can make her cssured. I am certain,
You will never know want while with
me.
For I have a good Job, my darling.
And 1 do all my home work, you see.
I'll be good to you. honey, no take me,
I've never loved anv but you:
I srarcely can wait till you answer
Just one little word, "yes," dear,
YOUR SCK.
in!Hii!I!!lIlU!UlinrlnHin!!!H!!H:!n!!Hir1!!!n!H!lii:::;;;!:nFnrntn
621 Residents of Nebraska
registered at Hotel Astor
during the past year.
EZ3
1000 Rooms. 700 with Bath.
A cuisine which has made
the Astor New York's leading
Banqueting place.
Single Rooms, without bath, fj.oo to fo.oo
Double . . 3.00 to 4.00
Single Room, with bath, 3.00 to 6.00
Double ... 4.00 to 7.00
Parlor, Bedroom and bath, ? 10.00 to 414.00
At Broadway, 44th to 45th Streets the center of New York's social
and business activities. In close proximity to all railway terminals.
R1!H2RI!HU!!IIH!!iliinilli!i!U!l!inS!i!in:!!?nuU!!i!!n!
TIMES SQUARE
really Mr
v 1 Aa 1 1 i Aff1.
f 2.
1
1 4Sh.
a
t':.::
437
EDITORIAL SITTINGS.
Petroit Free Treta. If the price keeps
up one may soon have to mortgage the
car to buy gasoline for It,
Boston Trmnacrtpt: Baron Aator dem
oostrstea that tt Is but three fenerations
from the steerage to the peerage.
Washington PcH: WlllUra Barnea hav.
ing announced tnat no fatted calf la to be
killed for political prodigal eons, the her
culean taak la In. posed on political Sher
lorkos to find out who In the world he
could possibly tot an
Pittsburgh Diaoatch: All the navy ard
towns want aid from congreae Immedi
ately as essential to any plan of proper
preparedness from their standpoint Yet
they are the first t howl about "pork"
for river ImpromntaL
You have made me smile. You have made me
trin. You have made me laugh. Haw! Haw!
And aow we come to the very last of theae
exciting, original and truly faotattic motion
picture adventures of the King of Financiers,
J. Rufus Wallingford.
You mutt tee this whirlwind finish to the moat
unique of motion-picture aerie. Don't mil
"Lord Southpaugh," the last of tbe
(TM ft THC NCW ADVCNTVftCS OP
Picturizad from the great stories of George Randolph
Chester, from the scenario of Charles GodJard, author
of "Tbe Exploits of Elaine," etc. by the Path Co. Under
tbe direction of the U barton Brof tbe cast headed by
Burr Mcintosh and Max Figman haa mad history for
motion-picture comedies.
If your theatre haa not yet had any of the Wallingford
episode it it potiibl even now to tlttrl tbe series. Tell
the manager to apply to tha local
PATH t (( )) EXCHAKCT
and you mak tor to read the final ttory which appeart
ia the
Sunday Bee