T1IK REK: OMAHA. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1915.
' THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATER.
VICTOR ROSKWATER, EDITOR.
I The He rnNlshing Company. Proprietor.
i teEB BUILDING. FARNAM AND 8EVF.NTEF!TH
intered at Omaha postofftce aa second-class matter.
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(
OCTOHKn CIRCULATION
54,744
State of Nehraaka, County of Douglas, aa:
Dwlglit Williams, circulation manager of Tha Baa
.Publishing company, being duly aworn. aaya that the
average circulation for tha montb of Octoker. Wl,
jraa .t:
UVIGI1T WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager
Rut'kcrlned In my presence and aworn to before
fne. mis ta amy or Novemner, mil,
I
ROBERT UUNTKH, Notary Public.
j Subucrlbrra leaving the city temporarily
1 should hare The Dee mailed to them. Ad
1 dress will he clianged aa often aa requested.
r
Toveneer a
Thought for the Day
StltcttJ by Anna 5. McFmrland
"To 6s ih thing toe m,
T do th4 thing c detm,
En joint d bn duly;
To valk in faith, nor dtem
Of qwBtioninri God's tcKim
Of truth and btauti." Aor.
From Lincoln to Omaha In air rout In forty
dree minutes is doing tolerably well.
Perhaps a little dampener on the dangerous
iablt of 'gun-totlng" would help a bit.
These bowlers are jolly good fellows. Let
gjem come to Omaha again, and often.
But President Wilson was a college "profea
or" before he became the nation's chief esecu
ve, and he would not shake off the appellation
r he could.
That prophecy of one hundred years of war,
ut forward by a Germanized Englishman, re-
noves the fear of any shortage in American mu-
Ition "melons."
Anybody else who wants a little cheap pub
city has only to collect twenty-five autographs
nd file the name of some noted man as a can
Idate for president.
Those flre-underwrlters are specious talkers,
ut in view of past disappointing experiences,
heir promises of rate-reductions would look
uuch better in writing.
- Porter Charlton is a lucky fellow after all,
iv is chief luck, however, lying in the fact that be
-aa called to answer to the law of Italy Instead
'.! his own United States.
,
3 Diplomacy is not wholly "the art of conceal
ing thought" Keeping war diplomats from
ruusslng the White House carpets Is a notable
E xpression of diplomatic art.
: Missouri moosers arc rather hasty in urging
.mother run for Teddy and Hiram. Ordinary
Strategy suggests delaying action until Vic Mur
:ock returns from Europe with plans for up-to-f
sta trench-digging.
3 Old Sam Gompers might, as he says, easily
uarn Just as much and more money in some
H ther Job besides president of the American Fed-
j ration of Labor, but he would not have half
4-o much fun while earning It.
gnaturc1! to put the name of a candidate on
the ballot, but it doea not limit a popular de
4 and to twenty-five signatures, or twice twenty
T.ve. signatures, or any number of times twenty-signatures.
Millionaire Perkins declares the bull moose
i party must have an Independent national ticket
ta the field next year. But even the prospect
f a gold-lined barrel will not refill the serried
--unks, which now consist only of generals, with
;;.c t any high privates to command.
p The gentle art of sprinkling salt on forgot
.'en wounds Is aptly Illustrated In a Berlin dls-
, atch: "If Ireland and India had always had ts
r uuch to eat as Germany now has, the English
r ould be less disliked in these parts of the
-orld." Cenuany'a military activities records
Uio keener thrust than this.
b: ttnloin a K(ulne Parados entertained a
Ihik and rnlhueiaatio audience at Boyd's. "Tha act
of tha huraca waa alinply marveloua, and tha
hoiaen tlirmwlvia nra bcautlea."
H. W. Parker haa been preaenled by hi wlfa wllb
n ii'-touid hoy.
!i. Hnlt:niil. tha very clever ateward of tha Can
I h hoiiae, haa realsned to accept tha atewardahlp of
tit HllL-ard huuae at tiloux City.
Nibia-ka Ude. Knihta of Pythlaa. celebrated ta
.-venth annlvtraary wl(h exercise at their ball. In--luliiiK
addie.ea by Commander S. M. Wlkea. Oen
rul t. V.A ftnlth. Rev. W. E. Couplaad, A. D. Jonea.
ar.d male by Mra. Jeator. Mra. Hayward and Mra
Mia. J. . Moore, eacietary of the W. C. A., re
i iru dom-tiona to the ortanlaatioa, tha lar(eat Hem
ina IW from Herman Kountse.
n-nalor and Mra. Mandcraon leave thla t-tk asaln
, !r Wahlcon.
f W. .'au of u.a smeller la back from the east
f
A Question of Opinion.
The Bee e presses the opinion that the movement,
to set Mr. Hiighea on tha Nebraska preferential pri
mary ballot aa a candidate for president la an unwise
one. and "III advlssd from every point of view." That
paper even noes further and declares "Justice Hughe
cannot afford to permit any coterie of political self,
scrkera to tin- him to pull themeelvea up by the boot
straps." thoush The Bee at the asme lime admits Jus
tice Hiiirhs would he "an Ideal candidate," and If
nominated "hla victory over Wilson would lx fore
ordained." The Tribune falls to take the view of The Bee In
some particulars. It does not f warranted, for In
stance. In designating the forty-five prominent Ne
braskana of all shades of republicanism who signed
the Hushes petition as being "self-seekers," The farte
do not Justify that. Neither doea It believe, from anch
Information It can get, that It Is wholly beyond hope
to get Mr. Hughes to acquleace In the procedure to
get him to stand for a nomination.
Furthermore, the presidential primary plan adopted
In Nebraska la for the purpose of affording the people
of this state opportunity to expresa their presidential
preferences. If tha republicans of Nebraska are fur
Hughes, as we believe them to he by a large prepon
derating majority, why ahould they not so express
themselves, whether Mr. Hughes endorses It or not-?
Even The Bee gives voice to the hope that It may
come to pass that at some point In tha balloting by
the national convention sentiment will swing around
to Hughes. In that event Nehraaka wll ba the nil
ileus of his bocm. If It doesn't awing to him, what,
difference does it make to Nebraska? If Nebraeki
republicans want to vote for Washington or Lincoln It
la their privilege, regardless of what tha national con
vention does. That certainly wouldn't he properly
called "self-seeking"; It would merely be giving op
portunity for expression of the popular will. The self,
seeker la the one who watches and walta for the cat
to Jump. Fremont Tribune.
While conceding every one a right to his
opinion, The Bee also Insists upon preserving its
right of opinion, and in thin Instance our opinion
is the one that seems to have the support of sub
sequent events. Even Brother Hammond will
now have to confess disappointment in his "hope
to get Mr. Hughes to acquiesce in the procedure
to get him to stsnd for a nomination," which we
sSw was foredoomed from the outset.
As to what constitutes a "self seeker," the
phrsse explains Itself, but actions spesk louder
than words. Why forty-five names secretly and
stealthily signed to a petition should be filed to
voice a popular demand belles the avowal of pur
pose. A sincere desire to Impress Justice Hughes
with the unanimity of the call would not have
gone about It In this way; Instead of an exclusive
self-chosen few an invitation would have been
issued asking everyone favoring the desired can
didate either to meet and adopt a resolution ask
ing him to run, or to join In a monster petition
signed not by forty-five, but by 4,500, or prefer
ably 45.000, although existing conditions might
still have made It Impossible for Justice Hughes
to accede.
Where the Hughes '.'conscription" movement
miscarried was In Its collision with our presiden
tial primary law, which proceeds on the theory
that only such candidates for office or prefer
ment aball have their names on the ballot as are
avowedly running for the office. This law fur
ther contemplates a popular Instruction upon
the convention delegates, and the choice of dele
gates who will In good faith carry out the In
struction. Brother Hammond suggests that "if
Nebraska republicans want to vote for Washing
ton or Lincoln It Is tholr privilege," but for any
handful of men to file the name of Washington
or Lincoln merely to use the popularity of their
names for self-aggrandlsement, would he mak
ing a farce of the whole direct primary principle.
Such self-seeking would be self-evident, but only
little more self-evident than the other example.
President to Urge Economy.
That a presidential election Is approaching is
manifest from recent conferences of democratic
leaders in congress and the word that the presi
dent In his forthcoming message will recommend
the strictest economies In appropriations. All of
which calls attention to this forgotten and un
fulfilled promise of economy made in the last
national platform of tha party:
We denounce the profligate waste of money wrung
from tha people by oppressive taxation through tha
lavish approprlatlona of recent republican congresses,
which have kept taxes high and reduced the purchas
ing power of the people's toll. We demand a return
to that simplicity and economy which befits a demo
cratic government and a reduction of tha number of
uaeleas offlcea, the salaries of which drain the sub
stance of tha people.
This, It was heralded, was one of the "pledges
made to be kept" and "not molasses to catch
files." But how has It been kept? The first
democratic congress after the election, appro
priated M.m.OOO.OOO, or $113,000,000 more
than Its predecessor, which waa democratic, and
1177,000,000 more than its last republican pre
decessor. Congressman Fitsgerald, chairman ot
the appropriations committee, a democrat, ap
pealed to hia colleagues to cut the appropriations
and declared they were a mockery of democratic
pretense, but his appeal was unheeded. With
this record of promise and lack of performance,
it Is not strange the party leaders and the presi
dent should at this late day seek to make an
effort at redeeming pledges which assisted them
Into office. The worst feature of the democratic
riot or appropriations ia that the really neces
sary things were cut and the pork barrel filled
to overflowing with a resulting prospect of large
deficiency appropriations being required.
Confronted with broken promises of economy
and a treasury nesrly empty, some radical re
striction of appropriations can be expected, but
thoughtful votera are likely to Inquire why the
mark was not hit until Just before election.
Fay-as-Tou-Enter.
Some illuminating aide-lights on the effect of
Psy-as-you-enter" Instead of "Collect-after-you-Mt-ln"
are furnished by the reports of the Lin
coln Traction company, Just made public, which
gives figures that tempt a resort to pencil and
paper. The Lincoln atreet cara carried 11,411.
457 passengers during the year, from each of
whom the average amount collected waa 4.BS
cents as compared with 4.4 S cents the year be
fore, "an Increase ascribed to the new fare boxes."
By subtraction, we find -that the exact measure
ment of the increaae ts .0005 of a cent per pas-rt-nvar,
which, applied to the number of paasn.
eie carried, foots t.-p $3,805.71. In another
part of the report we are told that "the new reg
istering fare devices cost $ 13,77s," so that "Pay-a-you-nter"
will pay for Itself in a little over
I o years, after which all ot the extra collections
be "velvet" for the company. Thia la the
x.M-rlence or Lincoln and we take it in similar
r irea the experience of Omaha and other cities.
It is worth while noting thst Germany is not
airing its political linen for foreign Inspection,
t'nllke Great Britain. Germany hasn.ore lru
inrtant buslnesa on hand and bis no time for
home knorkers. - -t
The Output of the Courts
Ths Socket.
THR3 VOU MR of our rasa law, and this mvsns,
not only the Increasing number of decisions, but
the disproportionate Increase In the maaa of
these opinions, Is alwaya a subject for thought an!
discussion.
The consldem'to-i of this matter uaually becomes
more acute about, the time of tha annual meeting of
the American Bar association, and for a good many
years suggestions of one kind or another have been
made, and have received tha consideration of com
mittees sppolnted for tha purpoae.
Obviously an easy way to reduce tha volume of tha
case law Is to omit from the state reports certain
opinions which have been held as unimportant by
aome authority. Experiments alone this line have
been made, and have failed In ao many states thst
thla plan must surely be rejected.
As an Instance indurating its failure, there may le
t cited the example of the supreme court of Tennessee,
where, once In a while. It Is necessary for the court
In aome Important opinion, which la to he officially
reported, to cite and rely on for Its derision some
"unimportant" and unreported previous decision.
It la becoming more and more obvious that tha num.
her of opinions must be reduced by allowing the
courts to decide caaea without opinion upon tha ex
press authority of a previous decision of the court In
which an opinion haa been written, and that the length
of the opinions which are written must be reduced
by providing the Judges the opportunity to give mora
cartful consideration to the preparation of each opin
ion which ia written.
There are difficulties to ba overcome. Statutes will
have to ba amended In many states, permitting tne
Judges to decide caaea without opinion, and reliev
ing them from the necessity of touching In their
opinion on every point raised In appeal.
The disfavor of attorneys whose cases are dispose!
of without opinion is another conalderation which
looks large to the Judge who must coma up for re
election every two or four yeara, although this ob.
Jectlon need not concern tha Judge who la appointed
for life or Is elected for a long period of years.
A reduction In tha number of opinions which must
be written necessarily gives more time for the prep
aration of those which must ba written. The oppor
tunity to dictate to stenographers haa probably con
tributed more than any other one thing to the pro
duction of long and Ill-considered opinions.
It would be wholly unfair to base a commendation
or a criticism of any court solely upon Its output. A
court which is compelled by law to dispose of every
point raised In the appeal must necessarily write long
oplnlona, and If tha law alao permits In that state all
aorta of row caaea and dog caaea to bo appealed us
the aupreme court that court must alao write many
oplnlona.
In October. 1909. we "published In the Docket a
table allowing the number of cksas decided with opin
ion In each case, tha number ot Judges making up
the appellate court, and tha average number of opln
lona per Judpe. We have again compiled thla In
formation, taking the calendar year 1914 as a basis,
and have shown, not only tha number of cases In
which opinions were written, hut also tha number of
worda In these opinions. With this Information
available we have been able to aet forth, a.i a part
of the exhibit, additional Items showing tha a, erase
number of worda written by each Judge during the
year, and tha average number of worda contained In
each opinion.
JUDICIAL OUTPUT FOR W1
Court. pcrYr,
miu'imii, supreme vif
Alabama annll-
Arlxonn.
Arkanana
California, appellate..
California, a-preme..
Colorado, aupreme....
Connecticut
relawere
Florida
Oeorfia. appellate
Idaho ..' us
Illinois ,
inoianapons, appellate
Indianapolis, aupreme.
Iowa
Kansaa
Kentucky
T -tlllaln na.
Maine , 171
""aryiana
Massachusetts
MIchlRan
Minnesota ..........
MisslHslupl ,
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska ,
Nevada
New Hampshire ....
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
North Dakota
Ohio
Oklahoma, aupreme
Oklahoma, cr
Oregon
Pennsylvania
Rhode Island
South Carolina
fouth Dakota
Texas '. l.MI
ian
Vermont ...
Virginia ....
Washington
Virginia ...
Wisconsin
Wyoming .,
tux
w
r.M
441
m
1M
HO
s
1M
4ft
466
1W
4a
491
SIS
sts
15
4M
4i
W
iM
1.1K0
m
40.
S
77
V7
n
4
48
ira
71
741
III
, 4SS
b
va
14
122
St
M
160
7
1M
40
U
Avar. Aver,
ia No. of Opln. per Worda
V Judges. Judge, per On.
7 r? 1.4M
S 111
t S.imi
in raw
, 49 1,M
7 4s t.m
7 tj J.470
tt 1.9J5
, .7 - It . ,1M
40 ,t?i
' 1 l.m
' I 11 l.AM
i a s.49i
7 2 2.4tt
17 I.J20
1 . 2.7.1
7 66 2.2ft8
7 70 1.V.I
5 114 1.073
SO X.X79
22 2.J7S
t.tn
T 70 l.juj
2,W
7 69 1.942
M l.SiO
69 I.KU
2 40 2.4MI
7 57 2.2U7
.1 S.044
' 15 1.B4
2 X l.MI
i n i.ta
10 22 i,M
6 l 2. ItC
1 1,770
I 10 S.2R
H 7 2,ln
I TO 1.M7
T ' M 1,M
7 72 1 17S
I X 1991
i tS l.M
ft M t,93
1 24 lat
t 1.241
t 10 1.627
S IS 1.4SJ
, SO ,14S
- SO l.ShJ
S SO 1145
7 U 1.84S
I U 2.01a
Twice Told Tales
Jasllc ItaeM Waa Deaf.
In ancient Greece there lived a learned Judge who
was very deaf. Before him one day there appeared
two litigants who alao were very deaf. There being
ao attorneys to Impede and retaxd Juetioe in those
days, the Judge invited tha plaintiff to state his case.
Tha plaintiff arose. "This man," ha eeJa, pointing
to tha defendant, "la a tenant in my property. He
haan't paid any rent for a long time, and refuses to
do so. I ask your honor for a decree which will enable
ma to collect what ta due mo."
The plaintiff having ftnlahed and sat dowa. tha
Judge motioned for the defendant to stand and tell
hla aids of tha story. The defendant aaid: "I do not
own the dog. I am sorry ho bit tha gentle man, but
ha doea not belong to ma. and I do not feel that I
should ba responsible for tba durax ha Inflicts. '
The defendant sat down and tha Judge drew hia
robe a little closer about him. "To forget tha tlea of
blood," he observed, "la exceedingly reprehensible.
Hhe la your mother, and you tauat support her.'-
Tooeka Capital.
rspeet far Old Age.
A venerable negro who had lived through tha
picturesque Slavs: y days, but whoae snlnd con
tinued clear and active, despite his age, waa brought
before Judge Broylea. for locking his sister up In a
corncrlb and keeptng her there over night.
"Tou are act I rely too old to ba brought before
thia court, facie Henry," said his honor, "a ad 1
wUl see that yeu ara treated leniently an that ac
count, but will you explain why you treated your
slate r in such a cruel manner?"
"Jedge Brllee," returned tha gaclent aeg-ra, run
ning hla fingers through his white hair, "that
'ooman dona try tar Interfere wld me marrytn my
ninth wife." Case and Comment.
Wifely DveUoa.
A Baltimore woman has In her employ aa butler
a darkey of pompous and aatlafled mien. Not long
ago ha permitted a chocolate-colored damsel, long hla
ardent admirer, to become hla apouae.
On one oocaaion, when th4 lady of the houae made
temporary uee of the services of her butler's wife, it
waa observed that whenever the duties of the tv
brought them together, tha bride's ayes would shlna
with extraordinary devotion.
"Tour Wife soeraa wonderfully attached to you,
Robert." casually observed the mistress.
"Tea, ma'am." anawered Robert complacently.
"Ain't It Jest slkenln'r '-Everybody's Uagaslne.
Peddling; Awplea frwj (are.
OMAHA. Neb.. Nov. 22. To the Editor
of The Bee: At a meeting before the rail
road commission was t&ken up a hearing
upon an order Issued by the railroads
prohibiting the sale of all commodities
from cars on the'.r right-of-way.
Now this Is a question that Interests
at least two-thirds of the people through
out the state.
We taking the stand of producers. It Is
to our interest to get our produce to
market at the loe-eit poselble cost.
fltop the selling or peddling off of cars,
and It shuts out practically all competi
tion, a a the commission men and the
merchants will have It all their own way.
This rule will shut out at least 90 per
cent of the .ulk apples.
This will enchance the Trice to the con
aurrer throughout the state from 40 to
en cents per bushel.
No. 1 apples cannot be raised, sprayed
and properly cared for less than SO oenta
a bushel on trees, but the Inferior stock
that la a waste and can be and ta shipped
out through the state and frequently Bold
aa low aa 40 to 50 oenta, these praotlcaily
fill orders for their present use and can
be taken car of In a great many dif
ferent ways for future use. It la a fact
that the majority of families will con
sume five times as many apples at 50
cents a bushel as they will at 11.50.
Which Is the beat for the greatest num
ber of people? We are all talking high
coat of living. Cut out the delivering of
apples, potatoes, cabbage, pear a, peaches
and all of these commodities and It will
coat thia state millions yearly.
Apples are different from other pro
ducts; they must be barreled In order to
get them to their destination in good
shape. Thla cannot be done for less than
25 to IS cents per bushel, to barrel or box.
We can ship and aell No. 1 apples In bulk
nearly all over the state at 90 cents to
$1 00 per, bushel. This will allow us a
respectablo price for our fruit aa no one
can grow fruit at the present the way
wa have to spray and care for our or
chards for less. Now if we are not al
lowed to sell from car ws will be forced
to rent a room and move or unload them
and tha more they are handled tiie worse
they are and It cannot be dona for lesa
than 10 to 20 centa per bushel, besides, in
nine-tenths of the amall towns one could
not sell a car In a small town at all.
There was a time when apples were a
luxury, but at present they are a neces
sity and are tha greatest health preserver
of all fruits.
Looking at It from the railroads' stand
point It is a fact this has been the cus
tom for years, allowing the sale from
cars.
There is no law eompelllns; them to
allow thla. It to their right-of-way. Tha
cars ara their property and we, aa pro
ducers or eonaumers, cannot force them
to tent ua their property. It la a fact that
people are taking chances around their
yards where trains are at work; there
muy be accidents caused from careless
ness on tha part of persons, or of their
employes, and cause a suit for damage,
as persons and tea ma on their premises
are more or lesa in danger to examine
the produce or what it may be. Persons
must enter car ar.d are taking chances,
but, taking tha whole thing from a bual
neas standpoint, whether the railway com
mlaaloa will allow them to enforce this
rule. It will surely incur a great Injustice
to tha general public.
Why at thla time do they come and
exact this? They claim that they are not
getting as much out of their cars set
ting on ths tracks, receiving demurrage,
as they would ba otherwise using them,
and others waiting to get them, and
thereby they could receive greater rev
enue than renting them out to peddlers.
This may be the ease, but are they any
different than Individuals? Ara they not
common Barriers? Have ws not some
rights they must respect? They must
take In consideration that we are tha
people from whom they derive their sup
port. While they may loaa a little when their
oars ara being used for peddling, If this
were eliminated, would they not lose
tan times as much in not allowing thla
cheaper produce to move and by so
cutting that out would they not be the
loser In transportation? As if this cannot
be sold from oara It will never be shipped
at all and will practically have to rot,
thereby depriving many from gooda they
could use If they were not debarred.
From a grower's standpoint It does look
as If they were making one of the great
eat mlatakea by this rule that they could
have Issued. Tha railroads should re
member that without them we can live,
whilst It might ba a little Inconvenient,
but It la Surely a cinch that they cannot
live without us.
Our motto is, live and let live. Those In
the poor houses are often happier than
many millionaires.
Auburn. Neb. J. T. SWAN.
rnlllasr Names la Not Arerwaaeat.
SHENANDOAH, Ia.. Nov. 22. To tha
Editor of The Bee: In your letter box
under the title, "Just a Rejoinder In
Kind," appeared an answer to Mr. Ro
elcky's previous article, signed T. K. A.
Now. r. B. A. reminds ma of tha sohool
boy who. when ha ia confronted by argu
ments and evidence which be cannot suc
cessfully combat or answer, aeeks to
elevate himself by crying "Fool! Pool!"
Calling people Ingersoll proselytes or any
such names des not disprove or combat
their arguments. As many honest snd
upright people believe that Robert Q. In
gersoll waa Just aa aound In hla theology
aa In hla Ideas on temperance, and they
may alao believe that F. E. A.'a religious
Ideaa belong to the far distant past and
are too foolish for the present day
scholar to consider. F. E. A. should re
member that It is one thing to be smart,
flippant and versatile In the acholaatl
clam of a popular faith: to be voluble
and turbulent ta defense of a dogma,
and qutta another thing to ba a student
of nature and a devote of truth. Also
that what makea the public schools really
valuable aa a cltlcen-bullder la Ita teach
ings of known truths Snd not theological
auppoaltluna. C. B. LE BARRON.
-
Iwteraaatlaa Wasted.
BROOKLYN". N. Y.. Nov. SB. -To the
Editor of The Bee: Will you bo ao kind
a a to help ma to find some trace of ray
brother, Thomas J. Fowler, through your
valuable paper. I have not heard from
hint alnce Maroh. USt. Ha waa then In
Mlnnaaitolta. Minn. Ha told me that be
waa going with a party to the gold
flaida of Klondike. Ue aaid in hla letter
that before going to Klondike he would
go to the state fair that waa being held
In Nebraska. I have not heard from hint
si uee and I am anxious to get soma newa
about him. If yod would be ao kind aa to
put a few lines In your paper asking the
readers of your valuable paper If any
of them knew him or where he atopped
during the time be was at tha fair, or
with whom he waa or could tell me where
ba want to from there, I would t thank
ful for any Information about him, If any.
body knew him or bis whereabouts. If
they would kindly send me word by mall
or to your paper, hoping to get aome
riewa of him and wishing your paper
every success. CAMUEL J. FOWLER.
Ho Rutler Street
SMILING LINES.
"I don't believe In trying to make a
silk purse out of a sow's ear."
' No," replied Mlsa Cayenne. "It Isn't
r orth while. We are getting to a point
where silk will be cheaper tlian pork."
Washington rtar.
"Why U that business nelehbor cf
yours running along the hillside every
morning In hit bare feet?"
' Tiding hia flnanrltl xerclic."
"Financial exercise?"
"Yes; trying to collect what's dew
on the banks." Bait more Amcr can.
"What Is your objection to me for n
son-in-law?" asked the energetic young
man.
"I don't object to you," replied Mr.
Cumrox. "If I seem kind of diffident
when you're around. It's because I like
you. I'm just wondering how It's goln
to be when mother and the girls quit wel
coming you aa a distinguished visitor and
begin to treat you like one of the fam
ily." Washington Star.
"I've got to take exercise an.1 quit
eating so much.'' snld the young rtran
who calculates c'.osely.
"Worried about your health?"
"No; I'm getting so stout my room
mate's evening clothes won't fit me."
Washington Kiar.
"That fellow rr.es further to borrow
trouble then snybody I know."
"As to how?"
"He runs a china shop and he la al
ways worrying for fear a hull will com '
along and blunder In." Boaton Trans
cript. The Impresario Certainly, madam, 1
ran supply you with a second prima
donna to sing your children to sleep, nut
you sing so perfectly yourself.
I'rima Donna Assoluta But my slnglns
Is worth $.',0ii0 a nlKht, and I couldn't
think of squandering that amount on the
children. Houston Poet.
"Of course, we try to make you foot
at home here," aaid the manager of the
hotel.
"Well," replied Mr. Cumrox, "you suc
ceeded. The waiters stood around and
criticised the wav I selected my food
and handled the tableware pretty much
the way the folka at home do." Wash
ington f-'tar.
"Why are you apklnc me for help?
Haven't you any close relatives?"
"Yes. That s the reason why I'm
appealing to you." Birmingham Age-Hereld.
KABIBBLE
KABARET
PEAK MR. KABlBWit.
CAM ARCHJMENtS PTrWTOJ
HUSBAHD AMP WIFF CDME TO
A FLAT IRON CAW KELT A
LDr 'pWAtfeS a Decision
Peddler I have a most vatusMo book
to sell, madam. It tells how to do every
thing. I.ady tsarcsstiially) Poes It tell one
how to Ket rid of a pestering peddler?
PeiMler (promptly Oh, yes, madam..
Buy comethlng from him. Birmingham
Age-Herald.
TliANKSGIVETG.
I look the whole year over and I haven't
gained In health.
Nor xhot to fame and glory hur been
bothered much with wealth.
But atill I pet to thinking of the things
that mlnht have been.
And of the (nlka in trouble that so far
I've not liecn In.
And then, although I'm poorer than a
starving alley est.
I think that I am thankful In a measure
Just for that.
When I look the wide world over and
observe how all the rest
Have their troubles and their sorrows,
Fplte of all they have pog.xesed.
Then I et to thinking maybe things
are J'it as well let lie.
And I don't know anybody I would
. rather be than me.
So I sluh a penile blessing on the few
things In my lot.
And I sing a thankful measure for the
ti'lnKS that I am not.
OMAHA SAM U MORRI3.
1
THE OLD RELIABLE
O
Absolutely Puro
MADE FROM CREAM OF TARTAR
A a charm I
to your
ZihanksgMngVX
RIUMPH !
BEER
fcfcA Triumph
in Purity',
Better Order A Case Now i
BKCWCU ANDBOTTLCD OY
rJ- OKLTILU P.HU DVl 1 U.U Or j
Phone Chis. Slorz. IVeb. 1250. Prompt Deliver
i "TP Tff-T.7 rrn
I II 1 1 s i B
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how good advertising may be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really succcessful.
V