T1IK REK: OMAHA. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1915. ' THE OMAHA DAILY BEE FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATER. VICTOR ROSKWATER, EDITOR. I The He rnNlshing Company. Proprietor. i teEB BUILDING. FARNAM AND 8EVF.NTEF!TH intered at Omaha postofftce aa second-class matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. By carrier Br mall per month. per year. rllv anil Sunday c II n lally without Runday....' 4fco 4 no Evening and Sundav V t no Evening without Sunday fto 4.00 Mimley Pee only r 2. On end notice of change of address or oomplslnts of ereculartty in delivery to Omaha BN, Circulation )opartment. j REMITTANCE. j lemlt hv draft. expresa or postal order. Only two i int stamps received In payment of amall ae- toimts Personal checks, except on Omaha and eaatern xrhange. not accepted. I OFFICES. ( Orpahe-The Bee Building. Pouth Omaha M1 N street. . Cnuni'M Hluffs 14 North Main Street. - I lnroln-: Mttle Building. .1 Chlcago-SOl llfarat Building New fork Room 110k, & Fifth avenue. ft. loine-MO New Hank of Commerce. Washington 725 Fourteenth 8t.. N. W. ! CORRESPONDENCE. ddres oommunlcatlone relating to newa anil edl- crial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. ( OCTOHKn CIRCULATION 54,744 State of Nehraaka, County of Douglas, aa: Dwlglit Williams, circulation manager of Tha Baa .Publishing company, being duly aworn. aaya that the average circulation for tha montb of Octoker. Wl, jraa .t: UVIGI1T WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager Rut'kcrlned In my presence and aworn to before fne. mis ta amy or Novemner, mil, I ROBERT UUNTKH, Notary Public. j Subucrlbrra leaving the city temporarily 1 should hare The Dee mailed to them. Ad 1 dress will he clianged aa often aa requested. r Toveneer a Thought for the Day StltcttJ by Anna 5. McFmrland "To 6s ih thing toe m, T do th4 thing c detm, En joint d bn duly; To valk in faith, nor dtem Of qwBtioninri God's tcKim Of truth and btauti." Aor. From Lincoln to Omaha In air rout In forty dree minutes is doing tolerably well. Perhaps a little dampener on the dangerous iablt of 'gun-totlng" would help a bit. These bowlers are jolly good fellows. Let gjem come to Omaha again, and often. But President Wilson was a college "profea or" before he became the nation's chief esecu ve, and he would not shake off the appellation r he could. That prophecy of one hundred years of war, ut forward by a Germanized Englishman, re- noves the fear of any shortage in American mu- Ition "melons." Anybody else who wants a little cheap pub city has only to collect twenty-five autographs nd file the name of some noted man as a can Idate for president. Those flre-underwrlters are specious talkers, ut in view of past disappointing experiences, heir promises of rate-reductions would look uuch better in writing. - Porter Charlton is a lucky fellow after all, iv is chief luck, however, lying in the fact that be -aa called to answer to the law of Italy Instead '.! his own United States. , 3 Diplomacy is not wholly "the art of conceal ing thought" Keeping war diplomats from ruusslng the White House carpets Is a notable E xpression of diplomatic art. : Missouri moosers arc rather hasty in urging .mother run for Teddy and Hiram. Ordinary Strategy suggests delaying action until Vic Mur :ock returns from Europe with plans for up-to-f sta trench-digging. 3 Old Sam Gompers might, as he says, easily uarn Just as much and more money in some H ther Job besides president of the American Fed- j ration of Labor, but he would not have half 4-o much fun while earning It. gnaturc1! to put the name of a candidate on the ballot, but it doea not limit a popular de 4 and to twenty-five signatures, or twice twenty T.ve. signatures, or any number of times twenty-signatures. Millionaire Perkins declares the bull moose i party must have an Independent national ticket ta the field next year. But even the prospect f a gold-lined barrel will not refill the serried --unks, which now consist only of generals, with ;;.c t any high privates to command. p The gentle art of sprinkling salt on forgot .'en wounds Is aptly Illustrated In a Berlin dls- , atch: "If Ireland and India had always had ts r uuch to eat as Germany now has, the English r ould be less disliked in these parts of the -orld." Cenuany'a military activities records Uio keener thrust than this. b: ttnloin a K(ulne Parados entertained a Ihik and rnlhueiaatio audience at Boyd's. "Tha act of tha huraca waa alinply marveloua, and tha hoiaen tlirmwlvia nra bcautlea." H. W. Parker haa been preaenled by hi wlfa wllb n ii'-touid hoy. !i. Hnlt:niil. tha very clever ateward of tha Can I h hoiiae, haa realsned to accept tha atewardahlp of tit HllL-ard huuae at tiloux City. Nibia-ka Ude. Knihta of Pythlaa. celebrated ta .-venth annlvtraary wl(h exercise at their ball. In--luliiiK addie.ea by Commander S. M. Wlkea. Oen rul t. V.A ftnlth. Rev. W. E. Couplaad, A. D. Jonea. ar.d male by Mra. Jeator. Mra. Hayward and Mra Mia. J. . Moore, eacietary of the W. C. A., re i iru dom-tiona to the ortanlaatioa, tha lar(eat Hem ina IW from Herman Kountse. n-nalor and Mra. Mandcraon leave thla t-tk asaln , !r Wahlcon. f W. .'au of u.a smeller la back from the east f A Question of Opinion. The Bee e presses the opinion that the movement, to set Mr. Hiighea on tha Nebraska preferential pri mary ballot aa a candidate for president la an unwise one. and "III advlssd from every point of view." That paper even noes further and declares "Justice Hughe cannot afford to permit any coterie of political self, scrkera to tin- him to pull themeelvea up by the boot straps." thoush The Bee at the asme lime admits Jus tice Hiiirhs would he "an Ideal candidate," and If nominated "hla victory over Wilson would lx fore ordained." The Tribune falls to take the view of The Bee In some particulars. It does not f warranted, for In stance. In designating the forty-five prominent Ne braskana of all shades of republicanism who signed the Hushes petition as being "self-seekers," The farte do not Justify that. Neither doea It believe, from anch Information It can get, that It Is wholly beyond hope to get Mr. Hughes to acquleace In the procedure to get him to stand for a nomination. Furthermore, the presidential primary plan adopted In Nebraska la for the purpose of affording the people of this state opportunity to expresa their presidential preferences. If tha republicans of Nebraska are fur Hughes, as we believe them to he by a large prepon derating majority, why ahould they not so express themselves, whether Mr. Hughes endorses It or not-? Even The Bee gives voice to the hope that It may come to pass that at some point In tha balloting by the national convention sentiment will swing around to Hughes. In that event Nehraaka wll ba the nil ileus of his bocm. If It doesn't awing to him, what, difference does it make to Nebraska? If Nebraeki republicans want to vote for Washington or Lincoln It la their privilege, regardless of what tha national con vention does. That certainly wouldn't he properly called "self-seeking"; It would merely be giving op portunity for expression of the popular will. The self, seeker la the one who watches and walta for the cat to Jump. Fremont Tribune. While conceding every one a right to his opinion, The Bee also Insists upon preserving its right of opinion, and in thin Instance our opinion is the one that seems to have the support of sub sequent events. Even Brother Hammond will now have to confess disappointment in his "hope to get Mr. Hughes to acquiesce in the procedure to get him to stsnd for a nomination," which we sSw was foredoomed from the outset. As to what constitutes a "self seeker," the phrsse explains Itself, but actions spesk louder than words. Why forty-five names secretly and stealthily signed to a petition should be filed to voice a popular demand belles the avowal of pur pose. A sincere desire to Impress Justice Hughes with the unanimity of the call would not have gone about It In this way; Instead of an exclusive self-chosen few an invitation would have been issued asking everyone favoring the desired can didate either to meet and adopt a resolution ask ing him to run, or to join In a monster petition signed not by forty-five, but by 4,500, or prefer ably 45.000, although existing conditions might still have made It Impossible for Justice Hughes to accede. Where the Hughes '.'conscription" movement miscarried was In Its collision with our presiden tial primary law, which proceeds on the theory that only such candidates for office or prefer ment aball have their names on the ballot as are avowedly running for the office. This law fur ther contemplates a popular Instruction upon the convention delegates, and the choice of dele gates who will In good faith carry out the In struction. Brother Hammond suggests that "if Nebraska republicans want to vote for Washing ton or Lincoln It Is tholr privilege," but for any handful of men to file the name of Washington or Lincoln merely to use the popularity of their names for self-aggrandlsement, would he mak ing a farce of the whole direct primary principle. Such self-seeking would be self-evident, but only little more self-evident than the other example. President to Urge Economy. That a presidential election Is approaching is manifest from recent conferences of democratic leaders in congress and the word that the presi dent In his forthcoming message will recommend the strictest economies In appropriations. All of which calls attention to this forgotten and un fulfilled promise of economy made in the last national platform of tha party: We denounce the profligate waste of money wrung from tha people by oppressive taxation through tha lavish approprlatlona of recent republican congresses, which have kept taxes high and reduced the purchas ing power of the people's toll. We demand a return to that simplicity and economy which befits a demo cratic government and a reduction of tha number of uaeleas offlcea, the salaries of which drain the sub stance of tha people. This, It was heralded, was one of the "pledges made to be kept" and "not molasses to catch files." But how has It been kept? The first democratic congress after the election, appro priated M.m.OOO.OOO, or $113,000,000 more than Its predecessor, which waa democratic, and 1177,000,000 more than its last republican pre decessor. Congressman Fitsgerald, chairman ot the appropriations committee, a democrat, ap pealed to hia colleagues to cut the appropriations and declared they were a mockery of democratic pretense, but his appeal was unheeded. With this record of promise and lack of performance, it Is not strange the party leaders and the presi dent should at this late day seek to make an effort at redeeming pledges which assisted them Into office. The worst feature of the democratic riot or appropriations ia that the really neces sary things were cut and the pork barrel filled to overflowing with a resulting prospect of large deficiency appropriations being required. Confronted with broken promises of economy and a treasury nesrly empty, some radical re striction of appropriations can be expected, but thoughtful votera are likely to Inquire why the mark was not hit until Just before election. Fay-as-Tou-Enter. Some illuminating aide-lights on the effect of Psy-as-you-enter" Instead of "Collect-after-you-Mt-ln" are furnished by the reports of the Lin coln Traction company, Just made public, which gives figures that tempt a resort to pencil and paper. The Lincoln atreet cara carried 11,411. 457 passengers during the year, from each of whom the average amount collected waa 4.BS cents as compared with 4.4 S cents the year be fore, "an Increase ascribed to the new fare boxes." By subtraction, we find -that the exact measure ment of the increaae ts .0005 of a cent per pas-rt-nvar, which, applied to the number of paasn. eie carried, foots t.-p $3,805.71. In another part of the report we are told that "the new reg istering fare devices cost $ 13,77s," so that "Pay-a-you-nter" will pay for Itself in a little over I o years, after which all ot the extra collections be "velvet" for the company. Thia la the x.M-rlence or Lincoln and we take it in similar r irea the experience of Omaha and other cities. It is worth while noting thst Germany is not airing its political linen for foreign Inspection, t'nllke Great Britain. Germany hasn.ore lru inrtant buslnesa on hand and bis no time for home knorkers. - -t The Output of the Courts Ths Socket. THR3 VOU MR of our rasa law, and this mvsns, not only the Increasing number of decisions, but the disproportionate Increase In the maaa of these opinions, Is alwaya a subject for thought an! discussion. The consldem'to-i of this matter uaually becomes more acute about, the time of tha annual meeting of the American Bar association, and for a good many years suggestions of one kind or another have been made, and have received tha consideration of com mittees sppolnted for tha purpoae. Obviously an easy way to reduce tha volume of tha case law Is to omit from the state reports certain opinions which have been held as unimportant by aome authority. Experiments alone this line have been made, and have failed In ao many states thst thla plan must surely be rejected. As an Instance indurating its failure, there may le t cited the example of the supreme court of Tennessee, where, once In a while. It Is necessary for the court In aome Important opinion, which la to he officially reported, to cite and rely on for Its derision some "unimportant" and unreported previous decision. It la becoming more and more obvious that tha num. her of opinions must be reduced by allowing the courts to decide caaea without opinion upon tha ex press authority of a previous decision of the court In which an opinion haa been written, and that the length of the opinions which are written must be reduced by providing the Judges the opportunity to give mora cartful consideration to the preparation of each opin ion which ia written. There are difficulties to ba overcome. Statutes will have to ba amended In many states, permitting tne Judges to decide caaea without opinion, and reliev ing them from the necessity of touching In their opinion on every point raised In appeal. The disfavor of attorneys whose cases are dispose! of without opinion is another conalderation which looks large to the Judge who must coma up for re election every two or four yeara, although this ob. Jectlon need not concern tha Judge who la appointed for life or Is elected for a long period of years. A reduction In tha number of opinions which must be written necessarily gives more time for the prep aration of those which must ba written. The oppor tunity to dictate to stenographers haa probably con tributed more than any other one thing to the pro duction of long and Ill-considered opinions. It would be wholly unfair to base a commendation or a criticism of any court solely upon Its output. A court which is compelled by law to dispose of every point raised In the appeal must necessarily write long oplnlona, and If tha law alao permits In that state all aorta of row caaea and dog caaea to bo appealed us the aupreme court that court must alao write many oplnlona. In October. 1909. we "published In the Docket a table allowing the number of cksas decided with opin ion In each case, tha number ot Judges making up the appellate court, and tha average number of opln lona per Judpe. We have again compiled thla In formation, taking the calendar year 1914 as a basis, and have shown, not only tha number of cases In which opinions were written, hut also tha number of worda In these opinions. With this Information available we have been able to aet forth, a.i a part of the exhibit, additional Items showing tha a, erase number of worda written by each Judge during the year, and tha average number of worda contained In each opinion. JUDICIAL OUTPUT FOR W1 Court. pcrYr, miu'imii, supreme vif Alabama annll- Arlxonn. Arkanana California, appellate.. California, a-preme.. Colorado, aupreme.... Connecticut relawere Florida Oeorfia. appellate Idaho ..' us Illinois , inoianapons, appellate Indianapolis, aupreme. Iowa Kansaa Kentucky T -tlllaln na. Maine , 171 ""aryiana Massachusetts MIchlRan Minnesota .......... MisslHslupl , Missouri Montana Nebraska , Nevada New Hampshire .... New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma, aupreme Oklahoma, cr Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina fouth Dakota Texas '. l.MI ian Vermont ... Virginia .... Washington Virginia ... Wisconsin Wyoming ., tux w r.M 441 m 1M HO s 1M 4ft 466 1W 4a 491 SIS sts 15 4M 4i W iM 1.1K0 m 40. S 77 V7 n 4 48 ira 71 741 III , 4SS b va 14 122 St M 160 7 1M 40 U Avar. Aver, ia No. of Opln. per Worda V Judges. Judge, per On. 7 r? 1.4M S 111 t S.imi in raw , 49 1,M 7 4s t.m 7 tj J.470 tt 1.9J5 , .7 - It . ,1M 40 ,t?i ' 1 l.m ' I 11 l.AM i a s.49i 7 2 2.4tt 17 I.J20 1 . 2.7.1 7 66 2.2ft8 7 70 1.V.I 5 114 1.073 SO X.X79 22 2.J7S t.tn T 70 l.juj 2,W 7 69 1.942 M l.SiO 69 I.KU 2 40 2.4MI 7 57 2.2U7 .1 S.044 ' 15 1.B4 2 X l.MI i n i.ta 10 22 i,M 6 l 2. ItC 1 1,770 I 10 S.2R H 7 2,ln I TO 1.M7 T ' M 1,M 7 72 1 17S I X 1991 i tS l.M ft M t,93 1 24 lat t 1.241 t 10 1.627 S IS 1.4SJ , SO ,14S - SO l.ShJ S SO 1145 7 U 1.84S I U 2.01a Twice Told Tales Jasllc ItaeM Waa Deaf. In ancient Greece there lived a learned Judge who was very deaf. Before him one day there appeared two litigants who alao were very deaf. There being ao attorneys to Impede and retaxd Juetioe in those days, the Judge invited tha plaintiff to state his case. Tha plaintiff arose. "This man," ha eeJa, pointing to tha defendant, "la a tenant in my property. He haan't paid any rent for a long time, and refuses to do so. I ask your honor for a decree which will enable ma to collect what ta due mo." The plaintiff having ftnlahed and sat dowa. tha Judge motioned for the defendant to stand and tell hla aids of tha story. The defendant aaid: "I do not own the dog. I am sorry ho bit tha gentle man, but ha doea not belong to ma. and I do not feel that I should ba responsible for tba durax ha Inflicts. ' The defendant sat down and tha Judge drew hia robe a little closer about him. "To forget tha tlea of blood," he observed, "la exceedingly reprehensible. Hhe la your mother, and you tauat support her.'- Tooeka Capital. rspeet far Old Age. A venerable negro who had lived through tha picturesque Slavs: y days, but whoae snlnd con tinued clear and active, despite his age, waa brought before Judge Broylea. for locking his sister up In a corncrlb and keeptng her there over night. "Tou are act I rely too old to ba brought before thia court, facie Henry," said his honor, "a ad 1 wUl see that yeu ara treated leniently an that ac count, but will you explain why you treated your slate r in such a cruel manner?" "Jedge Brllee," returned tha gaclent aeg-ra, run ning hla fingers through his white hair, "that 'ooman dona try tar Interfere wld me marrytn my ninth wife." Case and Comment. Wifely DveUoa. A Baltimore woman has In her employ aa butler a darkey of pompous and aatlafled mien. Not long ago ha permitted a chocolate-colored damsel, long hla ardent admirer, to become hla apouae. On one oocaaion, when th4 lady of the houae made temporary uee of the services of her butler's wife, it waa observed that whenever the duties of the tv brought them together, tha bride's ayes would shlna with extraordinary devotion. "Tour Wife soeraa wonderfully attached to you, Robert." casually observed the mistress. "Tea, ma'am." anawered Robert complacently. "Ain't It Jest slkenln'r '-Everybody's Uagaslne. Peddling; Awplea frwj (are. OMAHA. Neb.. Nov. 22. To the Editor of The Bee: At a meeting before the rail road commission was t&ken up a hearing upon an order Issued by the railroads prohibiting the sale of all commodities from cars on the'.r right-of-way. Now this Is a question that Interests at least two-thirds of the people through out the state. We taking the stand of producers. It Is to our interest to get our produce to market at the loe-eit poselble cost. fltop the selling or peddling off of cars, and It shuts out practically all competi tion, a a the commission men and the merchants will have It all their own way. This rule will shut out at least 90 per cent of the .ulk apples. This will enchance the Trice to the con aurrer throughout the state from 40 to en cents per bushel. No. 1 apples cannot be raised, sprayed and properly cared for less than SO oenta a bushel on trees, but the Inferior stock that la a waste and can be and ta shipped out through the state and frequently Bold aa low aa 40 to 50 oenta, these praotlcaily fill orders for their present use and can be taken car of In a great many dif ferent ways for future use. It la a fact that the majority of families will con sume five times as many apples at 50 cents a bushel as they will at 11.50. Which Is the beat for the greatest num ber of people? We are all talking high coat of living. Cut out the delivering of apples, potatoes, cabbage, pear a, peaches and all of these commodities and It will coat thia state millions yearly. Apples are different from other pro ducts; they must be barreled In order to get them to their destination in good shape. Thla cannot be done for less than 25 to IS cents per bushel, to barrel or box. We can ship and aell No. 1 apples In bulk nearly all over the state at 90 cents to $1 00 per, bushel. This will allow us a respectablo price for our fruit aa no one can grow fruit at the present the way wa have to spray and care for our or chards for less. Now if we are not al lowed to sell from car ws will be forced to rent a room and move or unload them and tha more they are handled tiie worse they are and It cannot be dona for lesa than 10 to 20 centa per bushel, besides, in nine-tenths of the amall towns one could not sell a car In a small town at all. There was a time when apples were a luxury, but at present they are a neces sity and are tha greatest health preserver of all fruits. Looking at It from the railroads' stand point It is a fact this has been the cus tom for years, allowing the sale from cars. There is no law eompelllns; them to allow thla. It to their right-of-way. Tha cars ara their property and we, aa pro ducers or eonaumers, cannot force them to tent ua their property. It la a fact that people are taking chances around their yards where trains are at work; there muy be accidents caused from careless ness on tha part of persons, or of their employes, and cause a suit for damage, as persons and tea ma on their premises are more or lesa in danger to examine the produce or what it may be. Persons must enter car ar.d are taking chances, but, taking tha whole thing from a bual neas standpoint, whether the railway com mlaaloa will allow them to enforce this rule. It will surely incur a great Injustice to tha general public. Why at thla time do they come and exact this? They claim that they are not getting as much out of their cars set ting on ths tracks, receiving demurrage, as they would ba otherwise using them, and others waiting to get them, and thereby they could receive greater rev enue than renting them out to peddlers. This may be the ease, but are they any different than Individuals? Ara they not common Barriers? Have ws not some rights they must respect? They must take In consideration that we are tha people from whom they derive their sup port. While they may loaa a little when their oars ara being used for peddling, If this were eliminated, would they not lose tan times as much in not allowing thla cheaper produce to move and by so cutting that out would they not be the loser In transportation? As if this cannot be sold from oara It will never be shipped at all and will practically have to rot, thereby depriving many from gooda they could use If they were not debarred. From a grower's standpoint It does look as If they were making one of the great eat mlatakea by this rule that they could have Issued. Tha railroads should re member that without them we can live, whilst It might ba a little Inconvenient, but It la Surely a cinch that they cannot live without us. Our motto is, live and let live. Those In the poor houses are often happier than many millionaires. Auburn. Neb. J. T. SWAN. rnlllasr Names la Not Arerwaaeat. SHENANDOAH, Ia.. Nov. 22. To tha Editor of The Bee: In your letter box under the title, "Just a Rejoinder In Kind," appeared an answer to Mr. Ro elcky's previous article, signed T. K. A. Now. r. B. A. reminds ma of tha sohool boy who. when ha ia confronted by argu ments and evidence which be cannot suc cessfully combat or answer, aeeks to elevate himself by crying "Fool! Pool!" Calling people Ingersoll proselytes or any such names des not disprove or combat their arguments. As many honest snd upright people believe that Robert Q. In gersoll waa Just aa aound In hla theology aa In hla Ideas on temperance, and they may alao believe that F. E. A.'a religious Ideaa belong to the far distant past and are too foolish for the present day scholar to consider. F. E. A. should re member that It is one thing to be smart, flippant and versatile In the acholaatl clam of a popular faith: to be voluble and turbulent ta defense of a dogma, and qutta another thing to ba a student of nature and a devote of truth. Also that what makea the public schools really valuable aa a cltlcen-bullder la Ita teach ings of known truths Snd not theological auppoaltluna. C. B. LE BARRON. - Iwteraaatlaa Wasted. BROOKLYN". N. Y.. Nov. SB. -To the Editor of The Bee: Will you bo ao kind a a to help ma to find some trace of ray brother, Thomas J. Fowler, through your valuable paper. I have not heard from hint alnce Maroh. USt. Ha waa then In Mlnnaaitolta. Minn. Ha told me that be waa going with a party to the gold flaida of Klondike. Ue aaid in hla letter that before going to Klondike he would go to the state fair that waa being held In Nebraska. I have not heard from hint si uee and I am anxious to get soma newa about him. If yod would be ao kind aa to put a few lines In your paper asking the readers of your valuable paper If any of them knew him or where he atopped during the time be was at tha fair, or with whom he waa or could tell me where ba want to from there, I would t thank ful for any Information about him, If any. body knew him or bis whereabouts. If they would kindly send me word by mall or to your paper, hoping to get aome riewa of him and wishing your paper every success. CAMUEL J. FOWLER. Ho Rutler Street SMILING LINES. "I don't believe In trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's ear." ' No," replied Mlsa Cayenne. "It Isn't r orth while. We are getting to a point where silk will be cheaper tlian pork." Washington rtar. "Why U that business nelehbor cf yours running along the hillside every morning In hit bare feet?" ' Tiding hia flnanrltl xerclic." "Financial exercise?" "Yes; trying to collect what's dew on the banks." Bait more Amcr can. "What Is your objection to me for n son-in-law?" asked the energetic young man. "I don't object to you," replied Mr. Cumrox. "If I seem kind of diffident when you're around. It's because I like you. I'm just wondering how It's goln to be when mother and the girls quit wel coming you aa a distinguished visitor and begin to treat you like one of the fam ily." Washington Star. "I've got to take exercise an.1 quit eating so much.'' snld the young rtran who calculates c'.osely. "Worried about your health?" "No; I'm getting so stout my room mate's evening clothes won't fit me." Washington Kiar. "That fellow rr.es further to borrow trouble then snybody I know." "As to how?" "He runs a china shop and he la al ways worrying for fear a hull will com ' along and blunder In." Boaton Trans cript. The Impresario Certainly, madam, 1 ran supply you with a second prima donna to sing your children to sleep, nut you sing so perfectly yourself. I'rima Donna Assoluta But my slnglns Is worth $.',0ii0 a nlKht, and I couldn't think of squandering that amount on the children. Houston Poet. "Of course, we try to make you foot at home here," aaid the manager of the hotel. "Well," replied Mr. Cumrox, "you suc ceeded. The waiters stood around and criticised the wav I selected my food and handled the tableware pretty much the way the folka at home do." Wash ington f-'tar. "Why are you apklnc me for help? Haven't you any close relatives?" "Yes. That s the reason why I'm appealing to you." Birmingham Age-Hereld. KABIBBLE KABARET PEAK MR. KABlBWit. CAM ARCHJMENtS PTrWTOJ HUSBAHD AMP WIFF CDME TO A FLAT IRON CAW KELT A LDr 'pWAtfeS a Decision Peddler I have a most vatusMo book to sell, madam. It tells how to do every thing. I.ady tsarcsstiially) Poes It tell one how to Ket rid of a pestering peddler? PeiMler (promptly Oh, yes, madam.. Buy comethlng from him. Birmingham Age-Herald. TliANKSGIVETG. I look the whole year over and I haven't gained In health. Nor xhot to fame and glory hur been bothered much with wealth. But atill I pet to thinking of the things that mlnht have been. And of the (nlka in trouble that so far I've not liecn In. And then, although I'm poorer than a starving alley est. I think that I am thankful In a measure Just for that. When I look the wide world over and observe how all the rest Have their troubles and their sorrows, Fplte of all they have pog.xesed. Then I et to thinking maybe things are J'it as well let lie. And I don't know anybody I would . rather be than me. So I sluh a penile blessing on the few things In my lot. And I sing a thankful measure for the ti'lnKS that I am not. OMAHA SAM U MORRI3. 1 THE OLD RELIABLE O Absolutely Puro MADE FROM CREAM OF TARTAR A a charm I to your ZihanksgMngVX RIUMPH ! BEER fcfcA Triumph in Purity', Better Order A Case Now i BKCWCU ANDBOTTLCD OY rJ- OKLTILU P.HU DVl 1 U.U Or j Phone Chis. Slorz. IVeb. 1250. Prompt Deliver i "TP Tff-T.7 rrn I II 1 1 s i B Persistence is the cardinal vir tue in advertising; no matter how good advertising may be in other respects, it must be run frequently and constant ly to be really succcessful. V