Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, November 22, 1915, Page 4, Image 4

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    JlIK HKE: OMAHA, MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 1915.
THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSE WATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
The B Publishing Company. Proprietor.
liEB BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH?
Entered at Omh postofTlre aa eoond-elaM matter.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
By carrier Rr mull
par month. per year.
J"efljr and Sunday Ko I o
Ially without Hundnjr....' , ites 4 00
TVenlns: ami Sunday .
rvmlni without Sunday 4.00
Sunday fr only c I.W
Fnt not Ira of rhanse of address or complaints of
Irreirularlty in delivery to Omaha Be, Circulation
Department.
REMITTANCE.
Remit by draft, evpreae or postal order. Only two
rent stamps received In payment of email ac
counts. Personal checks, except on Omaha and eaatarn
exchange, not accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Bee Building-.
South Omaha ail N street.
Council Bluffa 14 North Main Street.
Lincoln Little BulMlna.
Chlcaro ani Hearst Hulldlnir.
New York-Room IMS, 26 Fifth avenue.
Pt. lyuils MS New Bank of Commerce.
Washington-78 Fourteenth St.. N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE).
Addreta communications relating to news and edi
torial matter to Omaha Bee Editorial Department.
OirrOBER CIRCVLATIO?r
54,744
Star of Nebraska, County of Douslas, as:
Dwlcht Williams, circulation manager of The Baa
Publishing1 company, being duly sworn, says that the
average circulation for the month of October, 111,
waa M.7.
P WKJHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presenoa and sworn to before
ma, this id day of November, ills.
ROBERT HUNTBH, Notary Public.
Subscribers leaving the city temporarily
should hv The Be mailed to them. Ad
drees will bo changed as often aa requested.
Yellow JournaJ motto: "When short of fod
der, damn tbe police."
And it waa leas than a year ago that It was
"Our good friend, Villa."
If the acerbities of war necessitate two dip
lomatic dinners, perhaps the White House will
have to go back to grape Juice and orangade.
The lure of the simple life with exercise
thrown in marks the call for buskers in tbe corn
belt. Work for idle hands abound for all who
K.ek it.
According to all accounts. Rev. "Billy" Is
('.oiog tolerably well in Syracuse, but the final
terdlct will not be rendered until the free-will
ifferlng Is counted up.
The conviction of a shoestring banker and
logging Mayor Thompson as a presidential pos
it bllity. all in one day, fills to overflowing Chi
cago's schooner of glory.
Tbo deal is said to be all fixed up for Chair
i an McCombs to be succeeded by Frank B.
J.vnch as head of the democratlo national com
mittee. That's democracy for you! Let the
i cople rule.
Official assurances are given that India Is
t. uly loysl to England, and proves It by fighting
In the ranks. 8till, the lid and the muscle are
doing business as efficiently in India aa the
tensor In London.
Chicago's Welfare board passed up a tempt
ing chance to prove its usefulness by overlook
ing a six-day bicycle race. That tbe shock of
4 killing whs needed to draw attention to this
series of hlppodromlng is melancholy evidence
;f official neglect.
Tho new basin at the Florence pumping
plant, costing $100,000, is said to Increase our
vater works capacity 20 per cent. Fine! Now
let those underwriters give us evidence of good
faith by pulling down tire insurance rates a bit.
Alter they do that, their beautiful promises
ubout a new fire alarm Installation will look
better.
A fifty-fifty split of the new and' old navy
It the one means of maintaining peace on the
Atlantic and Pactflo coasts. Senator Phelan of
California insists that invasion phantoms are as
Menacing on the west as on tbe east coast. Un
less equal naval protection is given the West
Ride Callfornlans will Jump on tbe Japs and
start something.
Fire losses In the United States and Canada
during the last ten months aggregate ll40,000,
000. a decrease of 160.000,000 over the same
period of last year. To this huge saving the
X ubllc contributed through wider inspection, fire
j.ieventlon publicity and Increased fire-fighting
equipment. But tbe public is not yet getting
the come-back It is entitled to in the way of re
duced Insurance rates.
The working capital of Nebraska represented
by state banks and savings and loan associations
total $150,000,000. National banks control an
equal amount. Tbe value of the larger prod
ucts of Nebraska farms this year is computed
p.t (236.781,000. Added together the available
resources of the people exceeds the half-billion
mark. The showing constitutes' a secure .foun
dation for progtess and prosperity.
Over the name ft Warren Bwltsler as president,
tho Young Man's Christian aasoclatlon announcea
that tli.OlQ has bean subscribed for the purchasa of a
new site, and tbat It la desired to raise 150,01)0 mora
to erect a bulMlrg.
Members of 8t. Phllomena's choir ara encased In
rehearsing two operettas, "A Lesson In Charity" and
"Tho Coronation." both by the well known French
author, Lusl Bordea. Miss Fsnnle Arnold la In charge
ttl the entertainments.
. The ietllng match which has been arranged be
tween Andre Chrtetol and John Leon of Chicago will
be a private affair. It la said, without admission to
the general public
Hon. William Ball of Michigan will remain In the
city for a few daya with his daughter. Mlas Lot
Saunders.
Rev. C. W. Savidge la back from Springfield, Ksh..
here be attended the fortieth anniversary of the
mar rigs of his parents. Rev. and Mrs. C. H. Savidge.
Mrs. D. Oreenleaf of Oaleeburg, who has been
visiting- ber daughter, Mrs. W. J. Martin, for tho
few years, left for ber home.
Joseph 1a Tophem. the enterprising Insurance
nan. well knows throughout the wast, has come to
reiieeent the Massachusetts Lire Insurance company
Its general agent with headquarters here.
rWVI (Mii
. it t - rxiftt jiLaa.jsses3aeissJsssaiM
..lit
Diplomacy and Society.
After having steered the ship of state with
out disaster through the tortuous channels and
rtormy sess of the war period. President Wilson
f'nds himself confronted with one of the most
perplexing problems of his official career.
Niturally the diplomatic representatives of the
warring nations do not speak aa they pass by,
fiid it Is necessary Instead of tbe big diplomatic
c'.inner to have two of these functions, and here
i where the trouble comes in. It Is easy to
divide the guests into groups until the list sifts
d wn beyond the representatives of the actual
combatants, but the grouping of tbe remainder
taxes the wisdom of a Bolomon, and it Is as diffi
cult as striking a balance In an overdrawn bank
account. Fortunately tbe dinners will not be
I eld until after tbe president's wedding and he
w.ll have tbe assistance of woman's wit In such
Matters, which admittedly far outclasses the
logic of mere man.
No Whip-and-Spur Methods.
The defense program of the administration
has already struck the snag which The Bee re
cently pointed out waa probable In case tbe pres
ident Insisted upon making it an administration
measure Instead of one on the broad lines of
mtlonal policy. Congressman Mann, leader of
the republican minority in the house, haa an
nounced In no unequivocal manner tbat while
he Is ready to assist In measures for national
preparedness, he cannot be counted on for any
measure which tbe president decides to force
through congress and that he must see the plans
lit detail before committing himself to their sup
port. It is perfectly apparent that the measure
must have the republican support to pass the
house, and It is a foregone conclusion that no
ready-msde proposition can ever receive a ma
jority vote if advanced as a partisan measure.
Tbe views of all tbe men who believe in the
principle of national preparedness must be met
in a measure and reconciled to each other, and
this cannot be accomplished by the whlp-and-spur
methods used for administration bills in
tbe previous congress.
Oil Pipe Line.
Wyoming authorities have appointed a com
mittee to act in conjunction with the Nebraska
committee to try and evolve a plan for piping
Wyoming oil to Omaha. The appointment of
committees and agitation of tbe project do not
necessarily mean the construction of such a line,
but they are preliminaries which may lead to
accomplishment. The value to Omaha and the
territory back of it of such an enterprise hardly
admits of discussion, but it is a' big project in
volving a great outlay and only by careful and
scientific investigation can its feasibility be de
termined sufficiently to induce capital to em
lark in it. If the commission will get down to
teal business, collect exact data as to cost, en
gineering problems and prospective revenue, it
still lay a foundation for accomplishing so me
lting. If It simply deals in generalities and per
forms Its work in a slipshod manner It will fall
n results and leave the matter Just where it baa
teen ever since oil was discovered in the Wyom
ing field, an idle dream.
Manual Labor for Preachers.
The p. eacher who advised bis fellows to get
cut and chop wood, dig in ditches and similar
things did not have in mind tbe economic fea
ture of tbe clergy piecing out salaries by such
expedients, but by putting bis ideas into tbe
commonplace challenged attention to tbe fact
that brain workers, if they are to make tbe best
use of their faculties, must also do the things
which assist in making strong bodies and de
veloping faculties which otherwise would be
dormant. It is advice that is pertinent not only
to preachers, but to all whose labor is mental
and tends to one-sided development, but it might
also easily have another valuable Influence if
ffllowed literally by opening up a vision of tbe
eruditions and problems of the man who tolls
as the term is commonly understood.
Substitution of practical for purely academic
knowledge might also help to solve the problem
of class and confound the idea that the church
is losing sympathy with labor and stop the mani
fest drift of the man who tolls w'th his hands
away from tbe church. There is nothing like
touching elbows to awaken the spirit of com
radeship, and there is nothing like a personal
realisation of the problems of our fellows to
lead up to a better understanding of each other
and to mutual confidence. The minister or so
cial worker who stands on the edge of the trench
dressed in a frock coat or a silk dress has a
poor show of reaching the heart or obtaining
an attentive ear from tbe man in tbe bottom
who wields the pick and shovel. To accomplish
this it Is not necessary, of course, to make a
business of toiling In the ditch, but a push up
ward from a fellow Is much more effective than
a gloved hand reached down gingerly from
above.
Will This Hake Prohibition Prohibit t
Real prohibition begins a grand march
through Georgia next May. In a semi-legal
Knse Georgia has been a prohibition state for
several years back, but Its brand of prohibition
featured tbe label more than the contents of the
bottle. After a thorough trial of near-beer as
a specific for drouth, tbe natives decided to out
law every grade of alcoholie stimulants and, aa
one lawmaker phrased it, "make the smell of
liquor a penitentiary offense in Georgia,"
Tbe law Just passed by the legislature la
rpeclal session prohibits the manufacture or
aale of any drink containing more than one-half
of 1 per cent of alcohol, banishes locker clubs,
car-beer saloons and hangs crepe on the doors
.f tbe breweries.
Southern hospitality In the customary public
wsy is doomed under tbe law. Privately it U
rrlvlleged to flourish as of yore. Whoever haa in
clination and the price is permitted to draw on
the wet states for two quarts of liquor, one gal
lon of wine and forty-eight pints of beer a
liionth. Any Georgia thirst exceeding the max
imum can take the first train out for Louisville
or Cincinnati.
Court after court laya violent hands oa blue
iky laws, the last knockout coming from South
i-axoia. is apparent from tbe unity of Judi
cial temper on this brand of reform that the
application lacks tbe smooth, convincing vocabu
lary of blue sky peddlers. It is up to Kansas
to reform its reforms.
hlj i . . .
Burglars recently raided tbe home of
Thomas W. Laweon in Bostou. Tbe fact tbat
Lawaon maintains peaceful relations with tha
rlock msrket diverts suspicion from Wall street.
Preparing for Peace
Ooaifrassmaa William a. Bssastt. '
"Democratic orators used to tell us that a demo
cratic tariff would not disturb business; but It did.
Tha war, regrettable aa It la. waa the salvstlon of
American Industry- Even with Imports greatly Im
peded by the war. our manufacturing Industries were
so seriously Interfered with In this rlty Isst winter
that 400.1O') people were out of work. The election
was In part a protest against unemployment.
"Rut It will be aald that conditions sre Improving.
Of course, the war Is a pro tempore protective tarlft
of a makeshift kind, and In addition we have this
new trade In munitions of war. Whatever may be
our opinion of Its ethics we cannot deny that It Is
bringing money into this country. Hut when the war
ceases and we lose Instantly both our substitute for
an adequate tariff and our munitions trade, what
then?
Nor Is this all. Tbe manufacturing enterprises of
Europe generally have hot been destroyed. They have
been curtailed, suspended, changed and largely brought
under governmental control, which will mean such
regulation that foreign markets csn be Invaded suc
cessfully. Ten million men will leave the trenches
when this war closes. Will they be turned loose to
be slowly absorbed without plan or provisions Into
Industry? By no means. No government would dare
try such an experiment
"On the contrary, each government will. In the
beginning at least, assign these soldier-workmen to
Industrial tasks. Wages? These men ara soldiers'
The governments control the Industries. I'ntil Indus
tries are re-established tha men and their families will
trig ara re-established tha men and their families will
continue to be supported as they are now being sup
ported. We shall face, therefore, not the product of
European cheap labor, but the product of soldier labor,
and our country, unscathed by war, Is the market to
which their goods must come. Agalnat the wholesale
dumping on our market of this flood of the most
chesply-produoed foreign goods ever made, we must
have protection or the employes of our own competing
factories will walk the streets
"I am for preparedness, but even more than pre
paredness for war, we need preparedness for peace.
That preparedness wa can attain only through a pro
tective tariff and, scientifically, only through a tariff
commission. I propose, at once, to advocate both."
Eugenics with the Spartans
Tha ancient Spartana were tha pioneers in the field
of eugenics, and In the theory that the defectives
should not be allowed to burden the state.
Compared to this early code. Dr. H. J. Halselden's
thrtory that an Infant doomed to be a defective should
ba allowed to dla Is almost sentimental,
"Whenever a child, mala or female, waa born to
Spartan parents," said Prof. John A. Bcott, head of
tha Greek department of Northwestern university, "II
had no legal standing In the state until its physical
fitness had been passed upon by certain constituted
offlciala. This body of men made up of the loaders
In tha community, determined whether it should live
or die. If It gave promise of developing Into an abl-i
bodied cltisen, capable of withstanding the Inlensivo
physical training In youth, preparatory to a service
of arms, beginning about tha age of 21, th.e child wss
permitted to live.
In cases where this board found the baby weak
and possibly defective Its parents were compellod to
turn It out on the mountains to perish or to dispose
of It In other ways.
This practice also waa followed by the Athenians,
not so much aa a measure In military efficiency as a
purely social one, to Insure a strong, vigorous, virile
country. And under this regimen the Greeks continued
for agea to be the most militant, unconquerable people
In the world. There were few feeble-minded and no
cripples, save those wounded In war.
Indeed, In tha Greek drama, this elimination of
tha unfit or weak waa one of the standard plots.
Thus, In Oedipus, by Bophoolee. .the son of a king waa
turned out in the mountains to perish, after his feet
had been maimed. Ha was found by a ahepherd.
reared, became a man of power, and, not knowing
the line from which ha came, he slew his father ami
married his own mother. Subsequently he learned of
his descent, and he and his mother slew themselves.
Rules for Good Health
Don't worry. "Peek peace and pursue It."
Don't hurry. "Too swift arrives as tardily aa too
slow."
Bleep and rest abundantly. "Tha beat physicians
ara Dr. Diet, Dr. Quiet and Dr. Merryman."
Ppend leas nervous energy each day than you
make. "Work ilka a man, but don't be worked to
death."
Re cheerful. "A tight heart lives long."
' Think only healthful thoughts. "As a man thlnk
eth in hla heart, so is ba."
Avoid passion and excitement. "A moment's anger
may be fatal."
Associate with healthy people. "Health Is con
tagious aa well as disease."
Don't carry tha whole world on your shoulders,
far leas the universe. "Trust In the good Lord."
Never despair. "Lost hope Is a fatal disease."
Twice Told Tales
rrwfeealsaal Beggars.
It la pretty well known that a great many apparent
rasea of distress are fictitious, and at least tour
fltths of the atreet beggars are Impostors, but it is to
be hoped that very few benevolent people are so
highly deceived as tha holy lady who recently In
vestigated tha wants of some pensioners on her
bounty.
"Where Is tha blind man?" aha asked of a little
girl aha met at tba door of the tenement house.
"He's readln' the paper, mum."
"Ah! where la the deaf man?"
"lie s talkln" politics with the dumb man."
"And what haa become of the paralytic?"
"He's abed, mum."
"That'a atrange! Ha ought to be running a race."
aald tha lady, sarcastically. "Ha Is the only honest
beggar In tha house. Why la ha In bed?"
"Because he's dead." St. Louis Globe-Democrat
Breaklaa It Gently.
It happened aboard a diner on an eastern road ami
tha hero of the aketch waa a waiter, a coal-black, ex
ceedingly polite person, whose manner alone wa
proof sufficient that he lived to make life brighter
and fairer for hla patrons.
"Walter," said a lone traveler, as he sat himself
down at one of the little tables, "bring me grapefruit
hot toast coffee and two poached eggs."
"Kunnel," stated tha waiter, bending forward con
fidentially and apeaklag under his breath, "scuse me,
suh, but effen I wus you I'd tek so met hi a' alee this
mawnln' fur breakfast I'm feared I can't reckermend
tha alga"
"What'e wrong with them aren't the fresh, or
what?" asked tbe white man,
"Well." said tha darky, "they mout be fresh, so
fur aa I knows. But to tell you the truth, suh, we
ain't got no alga today." Saturday Evening Post.
A Wis Dewttot.
Hometlme ago Brown began to feel under the
weather, and a physician waa summoned. A fee
days later a friend called to see how tha patient
waa setting along.
"Sorry to aea you penned up. old boy," remarked
tha caller, sympathetically. "What seems to ba tha
trouble?"
"Just run dowa a bit." answered tha patient, "The
doctor says I will ba all right In a short time."
- "I see," thoughtfully returned the visitor. "I
understand the doctor told you to take plenty of
fresh air."
"Yea." emlled the patient "He knew it waa the only
kind of medicine that I could afford to get" Phila
delphia Telegraph.
Pray. Who f an Tellf
VALLEY", Neb., Nov. . To the Editor
of The Bee: fan you tell me Is Henry
F. Klrser'a heavenly mansion also for
rent now?
Fulfilment of "rrtptwre.
OKIPWOLD. Ia.. Nov. II. To the
Editor of The Pee: When a man departa
from this life and 's not over abundatly
supplied with "vain lucre," perhaps It
Is then that the world realties that "our
lives ara aa filthy rags." This Is In tho
Bible, and within the lids of tha aame
book, we Iram that It la "a wire child
that knows its own father." The truth
of this statement is being established
at Hastings, Neb., where a man did
a few years apo leaving an estate value 1
at more than $im,ono with about a score
cf persons claiming sonshlp.
In other lands, we realise there Is
war, with "rumors of war" rumbling
nearer home, with prayers for victory
and peace favoring self and selfish In
terests that have the economic forces of
esrlh guessing. Yet, tomorrow's sun will
shine as bright as on creation's mom.
Let us rlsfl from our lethargy with the
thought of "live and let live" and we
wlli have "equality before the law" and
the world will grow better. T. J. H.
, At the nesrlnnloa.
STAMFORD, Neb., Nor. l.-To the
Editor of The Pec: Relative to the ar
ticle by Mr. Wooster on redemption, to
him the ass and the serpent are all the
result of caufte. Now, Is It more ratlonat
to believe that Mr. Wooster Is the result
of intelligent or unintelligent cause In
other words, a cause aa unintelligent as
the law of gravity. Darwin seeks to
atrtbute the power of choice to natute.
Natural Is thst condition of things other
than the artificial. But before there la
any choosing there must be something
to choose or to survive. We see purpose
In everything In the world almost, but
you must say unintended purpose, for
Instance, aa In the eye, the ear, the voice
of the ass and the aerpent Which waa
first, the germ or the mature plant or
animal? For Instance, the ben or the egg?
It is beyond his finite mind to compre
hend the power of a Creator. Wooster
may call the Bible a relic of superstition
and barbarism, but how doee he know
that a thing Is absurd or foolish? If he
hasn't the power of mind to know how
it waa done, as for Instance, Infidels say
miracles are not to be believed because
they are contrary to nature, does man
presume to know all of the workings of
this thing which he calls nature and that
It la not controlled by some supreme In
telligence which his mind cannot fathom.
Bob Ingersoll says that only within the
last fifty years haa this old world been
a fit place In which to live. Why should
It ever have been if no one intended it
to be at alt or Intended Mr. Wooster or
Bob to be or live here? I take the Bible
just aa It Is, for Its being written seems
a miracle or wonder to me. And a miracle
Is only wonderful beyond the human
mind. We look about us In the mechani
cal world and we see perfected models
of everything and we aay what chance In
10,000 that they assembled themselves?
And If a man la a fool to think such a
thing, how then about tha first mortal
body? W. S. HEDGES.
Tips on Home Topics
Philadelphia Ledger: Mr. Bryan In hla
mora emotional moods doubtless -salutea
his darling Peace with the chautaqua
version of Lovelace's words: "I could
not love thee, dear, so much, loved t
not honor less."
Cleveland Plain Dealer: It Is stated the
$33,000,000 fortune left by C. W. Post was
built up on the economies of the first
Mrs. Post represented by a savlngi
bank account of $750. This might be
called a first class Illustrated sermon on
thrift.
Boston Transcript: That majority of
twenty-five in the House of Representa
tives may look perilously small to some
of the baby Jeffersonlsns, but to the old
war-horxes, who remember when the
"Cherokee atrip" took up half the demo
cratic aide. It looms up Ilka the family
wash In the front yard.
Indianapolis News: We're not the only
ones that are dilatory In regard to pre
paredness. The majority of the voters
in Sweden, which is much closer to
trouble than we are, just won't do any
thing along that line until they get a tip
or a bump as to how much it will be
necessary to do. At least that waa tRe
outcome of the recent election there.
Philadelphia ledger: President Wilson
showed his good sense by ordering the
reinstatement of that Illinois postal em
ploye dismissed for crltl"lslng adveraely
tha White House matrimonial plana.
This waa a case of super-serviceable and
officious bureaucracy, and Ita prompt
rebuke Is a welcome evidence of tha
essential democracy of the natlon'a chief
executive.
Springfield Republican: Mr. Bryan ha
surely heard from the people. It is beln
aald, because. In his statement before
going to his winter home In Florida, he
warned republicans not to expect any
break next year between him and th
democratic party. Yet Mr. Bryan always
haa observed the rule of staying with the
democratlo party whether or not It de
sired his company. In Kit, Mr. Bryan
will "support the ticket" because he be
lieves In it no less than the Bible.
A BONO OF LEAVES.
rl
Springfield Republican.
O Father Time, discard thy sevthe!
'Tls past the time for mowing!
For autumn days are in the sklss
And autumn winds are blowing,
For all the grass Is brown, alas!
The rose trees naked shlvsr.
And autumn leaves ara In the sheaves
Or drifting on tha river.
O Father Time, discard thy scythe!
'Tls time the tools were shifted:
Since in the garden and the road
The windrow ed leaves lie drifted.
The talking leaves the laughing leaves
That crowned the brow of June
Are dry and crumbled under feet
In Nature's afternoon!
Like Joys of ours like hopes of ours
With light and beauty burning.
From day to day they drop away
I'nstayed and unretumlng!
Tbe scsrlet leaves the golden leaves
A countless multitude
They strew the meadows lavishly
And carpet all the wood!
O Fcther Time, make haste, make haste!
The afternoon is waning;
And in the forest boughs 1 hear
October's wind complaining,
And from the northern seaa cornea down
The W inter Viking savage!
The lovely leaves, thou Oenlug gray.
Let not his minions ravage!
SUNNY OEMS.
"home, "but I can eay one thing in praise
of them."
"What Is thst?" Inquired Henderson.
"They have made morgsjes respect
able." Judge.
"Do vou lerlve any real comfort from
a fishing .rip?"
"A great ciesl. It makes you feel how
conven.ent and comparatively Inexpensive
It Is to buy vour tood In the market.
Washington Ktsr.
"What hue become of the candidate who
ueed to nave hla photo taken beside a
load of hay?"
"He may be a little out of date. How
ever, no candidate has as yet mustered
up the nerve to have his photo taken be
side a stock ticker." Louisville Courier
Journal. He (as the tesm goes by Look! there
goes RtigKle. the halfback. Hell soon
be our beet man.
Phe Oh. Jink! This is so sudden! Har
vard Lampoon.
"Engaged to four girls at once?" ex
claimed the horrified uncle. "How do you
explain such shameless conduct?"
"I don't know," said the graceless
nephew. 'I guess Cupid must have shot
me with a machine gun." Ladles' Home
Journal.
Friend What nre you thankful for
this year. Uncle Rastus?
I'ncle Rastus Well, suh. on.de wealth
Fide Ah am thankful foh de things Ah've
lint, an' on de health fide Ah am thank
ful foil de thlijS Ah haven't got Lite.
"I wonder why Miss Prow such a
social favorite," said Mrs. Jenks. "She
doesn't sln or play, or even rcclfe."
"Well" returned Mr. JenUs, "proba
bly that's the reason," Musical American.
"1 bought this armchair on tha Install
ment plan."
"Kay terms?"
1 tat her! . A dollar down and a dollar
whenever the collector can catch me."
Boston Transcript
Mll S.- you aeked papa for my hand?
Did he give you any encouragement?
Arthur Well. no. he gave me a drink
and a eleir, so 1 had no kick coming.
Chicago News.
KABIBBLE
KABARET
SHOULD A HUSBA HELP
WITH THE VASHINjf
YES - We SHOULD BRJrf
UP THE TUB
"Who Is that man over there whe ap
pears to have gone all to pieces?"
Why, thifs my friend. Bill."
"Then -.ell your filcnd. Bill, to collect
himself." Baltimore American.
"Pome are so Intensly modern that they
prf fer a Corot to a R-mbrandt!"
"If It'a a better hill climber. I don't
blame 'em. Me for the French car every
time." Puck.
"I have never owned any automobiles."
said the man who hadn't yet paid for his
No Change of Cars
to the
"Twin-Cities" ,
Through equipment is now run in both day
and night trains via the Chicago Great Western
to St. Paul and Minneapolis.
Day train, leaving Omaha 7:29 a. m., Coun
cil Bluffs.7:50 a. m., has buffet club car (serving
all meals) and coaches, arriving St. Paul 7:40
p. m., Minneapolis 8:15 p. m.
Night train leaving Omaha 8:30 p. m., Coun
cil Bluffs 8:50 p. m., has sleeping cars, buffet
club car, chair cars and coaches, arriving in St.
Paul 7:30 a. m., Minneapolis 8:05 a. m. ahead
of other trains giving full business day and
making appointments and connections doubly
sure. YOUR TELEPHONE IS HANDY.
P. F. BONORDEN, 0. P. & T. A.,
1522 Faroam St. Omaha.
Phone Doug. 260.
Emphatiza tht uGrtaC)
- - ST
ali slaULU
' T
JjOW
VIA
cl Li
ana mixes
O 111
RnioV the Southland's halmv rlimafe dnrino this rnmins
winter beautiful beaches, groves of palm trees and everything
that makes for a summer in winter in the semi-tropics.
Ticket on sale daily to April 30th with
return limit of June 1st, 1916
Only 150.68 for the round trip to Jacksonville, Fla., 287.18
to Havana, Cuba, with corresponding reductions to other points
in the South and Southeast.
Liberal Stopover Privileges
Connecting service via Rock Island Line
Automatic Block Signals
Finest Modern All-Steel Equipment
Absolute Safety
Superb Dining Car Service
Writs, phone or call at Rock Iiland Travel Bureau,
1)2) Faroam Street, lor tickets, reservations, informa
tion. J. S. McNALLY, Divisioa Passenger Agent
Phoae Douglas 423
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how: good advertising may be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really succcessfuL
b2