TILT, mE: OMAHA, MONDAY. NOVEMBER 15, 1915.
THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BT EDWARD ROSKWATKR.
VICTOR ROSKWATER, EDITOR.
Tho Beo Publishing Company, Proprietor.
EEB BUILD1NO. FARNAM AND gEVENTgENTH?
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OCTOBER cmcviiATiosr
54,744
State of Nehreeka, County of Douglas, aa:
Dwlffht Williams, circulation iramfer of Th Bee
Publishing company, being duly a worn, aaya that the
average circulation for the month of Octoaer, 11.
wma M.T44.
D WIGHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my preeenoe and aworn to before
me. this 2d day of November. 1914.
ROBEKT HUNTER, Notary Public.
Snbseribers leaving (be city temporarily
abonld hAve The Dee mailed to them. Ad
dreaa will be changed aa often aa re-quested.
r
irovembe li
Thought for thm Day
5cfa by Cmrtrmim Warrtn
"A pessimist U m man who am (m choict of
two evil and chootei boiA."
However, there la solaco for Colonel Bryan In
the fact that Great Britain takes hie writings
seriously.
Winston Spencer Churchill has forsaken the
'ways of peace and gone to the front Now loon
out for a bulge.
Fifteen of the eighteen provinces of China
hare spoken In favor of a monarchy. Vox
popnll. Vox Tuan Shlh Kal.
The only competition Wichita and Omaha
should hare orer the murderous holdup man, is
the competition to see to It that he rets what is
coming to him.
The administration is waking up to the fact
that the task of drawing defensive plana la much
simpler than the Job of getting the money. The
1 roblem orerflowa with worry.
The relation of effect to cause is aa plain
as a sawdust trail. Mr. Taft'a trumpet call for a
revival of the paternal shingle la quickly an
swered by a rise in the price of lumber.
Beyond its novelty as an endurance test,
living on IB and 19 cents a day gets little ap
plause. Men hare gone fifty days on water
and lemon Juice and escaped the undertaker.
As a diagnostician of the temper of the
I n I ted 8tates Dr. Dernberg is a respectable au
thority. Extensive observation and a courteous
Wit gave him an inside view of American
diplomacy.
That story about the Montana ranchman
dropping $10,000 on a "sure-thing'' bet in Chi
cago, only proves that the Mabray gang did
rot exhaust the supply of "suckers' In their
rperatlons around Council Bluffs.
' Economlo pressure Is responsible for the
demand for plain, everyday masculine hats in
England and France. Here is an opening for
profitable speculation with the eadlea tossed
Into the political rings of Nebraska,
Officials of the Santa Fe are conducting' a
"harmony tour" orer its lines, shaking hands
with patrons and patting social cheer into the
currents of business. Aa a business fetter the
glad hand has the Judicial hammor beaten a mile.
Designers and promoters of lodge rituals
and ceremonies should keep tab on the mystlo
rltea which mark the progress of the Japanese
emperor to his crown. A change of scenery
will be appreciated by the regulars, If not by the
Initiates.
A grouchy professor of fine art rudely slams
real live art by asserting that women deck them
selves In gay colors to attract attention. The
pame brand of enrlous reasoning might charge
the rainbow of self-glorlflcatlon or accuse the
flowers in their season of billboard designs. To
woman falls the task of airing life the charm
of color, the glow of animated art, without which
the dull dreary garb of man would fill the world
vith gloom.
The preeenoe of J. V. FarweU of Chicago In Omaha
was takes full advantage of. lie addressed a meeting
at the opera ttouae in the afternoon, and tn the even-
ins spoke at the First Congregational church.
jien uogan, me es-pugiiist, now engaged aa aa
evangelist. Is In Omaha for several days, lie opened
up with a talk at the Ft rat Baptlat church.
Prof. Bauer, the well-known violinist, left Omaha
with Kelly Mason's "Tlgera," he having been en
gaged by the troupe as director.
, Vr. Van Camp, formerly residing tn Omaha, bat
now of Wlsaer, Is in the city, and about to leave for
California.
Lieutenant Chase and Mrs. Chase have rented
house west of Colpetser's, wtih Mr. and Mre. Charles
K. Taylor, where they wilt move ahortly,
J. H. Green has been appointed traveling agent of
the Union Pacific; with headquarters here.
At the ' conclusion of Her. Mr. Detweller's sermon
at Kountie Memorial church. Rev. C. M. Morton gave
an address on the subject of Christian work tor young
men.
Mra. George A. McCoy Is offering a reward for the
return of a mink boa lost on Ttilrtoenth avenue.
Mrs. JT. B. Evans, northwest corner of Grant an1
I'hil fc'htrMan streets, wants a f !rl for general houae-
orV ,
Can Hujhei Be Forced?
The filing of a petition to place the name of
Charles E. Hughes on the official ballot for the
April primary In Nebraska as a candidate for
the republican nomination for president Is likely
to bring to a head the question whether the
Judge will acquiesce in the use of his name.
No dissent will be found anywhere to the
proposition that Justice Hughes would be an
ideal candidate to harmonise the republican
elements and that, if nominated, his victory over
Wilson would be fore-ordalned. The editor of
Ihe Bee has been on record for some time as
favoring Justice Hughes as a first choice, but
along with most of his real friends has believed
that the only possible way to secure his nomi
nation would lie In centering upon Hughes after
i was demonstrated. If it should be, that none
rf the avowed candidates could command the
necessary majority in the convention.
The present effort to force Hughes out Into
the open at this time Is lll-advlsed from every
point of view. Justice Hughes cannot consent to
Ms name going on the ballot and conscientiously
remain on the supreme bench and even his
uilence might be construed to be consent. Nor
enn Justice Hughes afford to permit any coterie
f f political self-seekers to use him to pull them
selves up by their boot straps. If Nebraska were
the only the direct primary state he might per-
l aps Ignore the move, but the same condition
voutd be sure to be presented In other states for
Nebraska's primary does not come until the
middle of April, while Minnesota, with a similar
law, starts the ball In March.
Tho misfortune Is that Justice Hughes may
le driven to define his position so sharply as to
remove himself completely from availability In
he possible emergency when the convention
might turn to him spontaneously and Issue a
unanimous call for his leadership.
Iowa's State Census Rg-urei.
The preliminary announcement of the re
sults of the state census taken in Iowa presents
some Interesting figures. Of the 101 incor
porated communities in the state designated aa
cities the compilations show a gain in popula
tion of 106,950, and the report indicates that
practically all of the cities show a gain. The
three showing the largest per cent of gain, Des
Moines, Sioux City and Waterloo, account for
40,131 of this total of 101,860, which would
Indicate the growth of the majority of the re
mainder is not large when distributed among
r.tnety-eight cities. The figures would be much
more Interesting If they embraced the popula
tion of the country and small villages, but these
have not yet been compiled. The last federal
census disclosed an actual decrease in rural and
small village population, and it is likely the
ctate compilation will show the same condition,
though persistent effort has been made to coun
teract the drift of population from the farm.
The analysis of the population figures would
indicate plainly, however, that only those cities
chow an appreciable gain which have expanded
their manufacturing industries or added new
cnes. In other words, the cities and towns
which depend for their sustenance upon agri
cultural resources and rural trade have prac
tically reached their maximum and can hope tor
little further growth under present conditions.
The gross farm production of Iowa and other
states has not been incressed through the
rredlum of employing more people, but by sub
stituting more efficient machinery for the old,
and the consuming public tributary to the
smaller towns and cities not devoted to manu
facturing is either stationary or decreasing, and
vnder such conditions these towns can hope for
little or no increase in population, while better
means of communication are even robbing them
cf much formerly tributory trade. These facta
are things which stand out as the reasons for
the showing made by the Iowa census and
plainly Indicate the hope of towns and cities
which are practically stagnant lies In building
up an industrial population within themselves.
Trend of Electrical Development
Few people appreciate the growing use of
electrical power, which is manifest not only by
the increased number of plants for the develop
ment of electrical energy, but more startling
eilll. In the capacity of electrical generators. A
technical Journal recently recorded the installa
t on of a 30,000-kilowatt generator in Phila
delphia and the contract for the construction of
one for use in Chicago of 85,000 kilowatts.
This same Journal, commenting on these two
monster machines, the largest In the world, pre
dicts that within five years generators of 50,000
kilowatt capacity will he built, as In recent years
the power capacity bad increased about 5,000
kilowatts per year. Figures convey little idea of
the immense power development of such ma
chines, but by way of illustration it is said one
could furnish power to drive lO.OOCt twenty-ton
cars, or current for 2,000.000 twenty-candle
power lamps.
What this ability to create centrally such
rest energy for industrial purposes and to dis
tribute it over wide areas means to industrial
development is almost beyond computation. The
best of it Is that the power is available alike for
the large and small user, and should help most
the little manufacturer Just getting a start.
Influx of European Crooks.
One result of the European war generally
overlooked is the influx of what are commonly
denominated "high class crooks, or In other
words crooks who play for big stakes, are edu
cated, in outward appearance above the immi
gration requirements and apparently people of
affluence, They have in the past preyed upon
people who visited the noted resorts of Europe,
tut with the distraction of war they find their
occupation, or rather their opportunity, gone
and seek in America conditions more favorable
for plying their trade. Their coming opens to
the police, more particularly in the seaboard
citlea, a task largely hew to them, for the crimi
rials are of a type not common in the United
States. To them are attributed the numerous big
Jewelry robberies and tho like which have baf
fled the police of the east, and give Indication
that before long the officials all over the eoun
try must commence to learn something new tn
criminal detection. The United Btatea can well
afford to forego thla acquisition incident to the
var and atrlke a balance in thla item of foreign
exchange.
A majority of 460,000 against the New
York constittluoa and 820,000 against a refer
endum measure extending the terra of county
officers from two to four years in Ohio, constl
tute the most lmpresblve "political atrocities'
of the late slectlop
Analysis of Proposed
National Prohibition
TAX. J. TTTEW.,
Treatment German-American AlUaooe of sTebraska.
REFERRING to the article from the Boston Tran
script's Washington correspondent reproduced In
The Bee under the heading "The Prohibition Pro
gram." It appears that he makes the popular mutant
of mentioning only the liquor Interests aa In opposition
to prohibition. The prohlbltlonlats, of course, want to
make It appear that the liquor lntereeta. I. e., the
manufacturers and aellera. are the only onea opposing
prohibition, and every argument pro and con aeema
to be made with that aerloua error. The fact that
there are tena of thousands of purchasers for every
manufacturer, and hundreda of buyera for every seller.
and that these many millions of purchasers demand
not only the right, but the opportunity to purchase.
Is carefully concealed on the one hand and over
looked on the other and so la the fact that there are
other millions who may be quite Indifferent about
drinking themselvea, but who denounce It aa unwise.
Inexpedient or wrong In principle to Interfere with th
privilege of others; and also that there Is another
great mass of people who, while In favor of local
prohibition, are firmly convinced that national legls-
latton on that aubject would be a grave blunder. The
apparent alienee of all theae people as to any public
manifestation Is not lack of Interest, but lack of cour
age and opportunity to voice their aentlmenta, and
partly perhaps inertia caused by Ignorance of the
consequences of national prohibition.
The plan of the Antl-flaloon league la to Impose
prohibition laws flrat upon citlea, then upon counties,
and gradually extending to states. To accomplish
thla In a state, for Instance, they will have embodied
In the state law a special proviso permitting the indi
vidual to purchase from outside of the state whatever
liquor he wants, knowing full well that without such
proviso the proposition would be turned down at the
polls. They make the voter believe that opposition H
only to the saloon, and concede his right to use and
order liquors from other states, so as to secure, for
the time being, his support of the prohibition law.
They carefully conceal, however, the ultimate plan of
making by that proeeas enough dry states to accom
plish eventually national prohibition, which would
absolutely make It Impossible to purchase liquors any
where In the United States, or to import them from
other countries, thus taking away entirely the oppor
tunity to purchase, which is equivalent in effect to
taking away the tight to use liquors, except those
which the individual oould manufacture himself.
The Ingenuity of the prohibitionists in making
propaganda with members of congress is contained In
the following argument of William H. Anderson, state
superintendent of the Anti-flaloon league of New Tork:
Tfca Antuftalnnn less-iie la not asklnr anv member
cf congress to declare that he la In favor of national
prohibition, but almpiy tnat ne anan noi oecome an
avowed exponent and protector of the liquor traffic
by refusing to vote to allow the people of the nation
by states, througb their representatives, to determine
that question in the manner provided therefor by the
framera of the constitution.
The danger in euch doctrine as affecting the duties
and responsibilities of congress, and as being oppose'
to the spirit of representative government, must be
obvious to all thinking citizens. The constitution gives
to two-thirds of the members of both houses of con
gress the right to propose amendments, which there
after become part of the constitution only "when
ratified by the legislatures of three-fourths of the
several states," each state having uniformly one vote.
The wise proviso requiring a two-thirds vote in the
house and senate is evidence that the framera of the
constitution recognised the serious responsibility of
congress in proposing such amendments, which is
much more than a mere ministerial function of sub
mitting questions to state legislatures. The responsi
bility is all the more serious because our method of
amending the constitution is anything but a recognition
of popular majority.
After an amendment Is proposed to the atates by
a two-thirds vote of congress, it must be ratified by
three-fourths (now thtrty-slx) of the states. This
ratification, however, is not limited to any specific
period and may extend, therefore, over any number
of years. Thus one state may ratify, through a ma
jority vote of its legislature, this year, another state
next year, a third state the following year and so on.
thus finally, but maybe not for fifty years or mote
lining up thirty-six states In favor of the amendment,
which would then become part of the constitution.
Now, mind you, and this la very important, no state
which through its legislature has once ratified that
particular amendment, can rescind its action. If, for
Instance, state No. 1, which has ratified the amend
ment thla i year, should in ten years or twenty years
from now, Or In fifty years, through a large popular
demonstration, wish to rescind the action of thla year's
legislature, it is impossible for It to do so under the
constitution, which to that extent is crude, insuffi
ciently elastlo and unsatisfactory; It is especially so
when considering that the states act through thalr
legislatures Instead of through popular majorities; It
Is more so because of the vast difference tn the
population of the states, and nowlthatandlng that vast
difference giving each each state one vote. This means
that the atates of Nevada and Wyoming with 238,000
population can outvote the state of New York with
over S.OOO.OOO people, a proportion of about one person
outvoting thirty-six.
The twelve largest states contain over 6". 000,000
people, the thirty-sis smallest states 40.fl00.000; yet these
40,000,000, through their state legislatures, would out
vote (0,000,000. Now if national prohibition was adopted
through these thirty-six smallest atatea with their
40,000,000 inhabitants, it would be against the opposition
of 60,000,000 inhabitants of the twelve largest states.
But. supposing that in a few years after the adoption
of that amendment, the nation found It entirely un
satisfactory and wanted to retrace Its steps, how could
it do so, and what might happen under our constitu
tional provisions for amending that InatrumentT Con
gress could by a two-thirds vote propose an amend
ment to annul the prohibition amendment, thus sub
mitting it again to the several atate legislatures. Sup
posing then that the thirty-five largest states with
nearly 87.000,000 Inhabitants, through their state legis
latures, would ratify thla laat amendment effecting
abolition of prohibition, and supposing the thirteen
smallest states with 4,K0,000 people would hold out
against such abolition It would mean that 4,S.4.0OA
people could dictate to 87,000,000 people what they shall
not do.
Under such conditions it would seem highly im
portant that members of congress take their duties
personally and seriously. Instead of shifting the burdun
off of their shoulders onto the state legislatures. In
trying to escape such diltles and responsibilities they
would plead weakness and timidity, and would arouse
the suspicion that they are yotlng, not as their own
personal convictions and consciences dictate, but with
their ears to the ground, whichever way they think
the political winds happen to blow at home.
Twice Told Tales
Har to Swallow.
An Idaho guide, whose services were retained by
some wealthy easterners desirous of hunting in tho
northwest, took them to be the greenest of tender feet,
since he undertook to chaff them with a recital some
thing as follows: -
"It was tny first grtaaly, so I was mighty proud
to kill him tn a hand-to-hand struggle. We started
to tight about sunrise. When he finally gave up the
ghost the sun was going down."
At this point the" guide paused to note the effect
of his story. Not a word was said by the easterner,
so the guide added, very slowly, "for the second time."
"I gather, then," said one young gentleman, a
dapper little Boatonlan. "that It required a period of
two days to enable you to dispose of that grtssly?"
"Two days and a night," said the guide, with a
grin. "That grisaly died mighty hard."
'Choked to death T" asked th Boatonlan.
"Yes. sir," said the guide.
'Terdoa tne." contluued the Ilublte, "but what
did you try to get him to swallow f Chicago Newa.
EE
Parole Batlsraa ta Overdone.
OMAHA, Nov. li.-To the Editor of
The Bee: Tour editorial, "Relation of
Crime and Punishment," Is timely. The
Board of Pardons Is to be commended for
Ita decision to grant no more paroles
merely upon the completion of the mini
mum sentence, especially as the same
may relate to burglars and holdup men.
Its conclusion to apply the rule broadly
might be open to question.
Through co-operation of the courts and
tho pardon board the epidemic of
burglaries, holdups and consequent
violent assaults and murders might be
somewhat arrested If the rr mlnals who
choose such fields could be made to
realise that when they stick a gun In
their pocket and engage In crime as a
justness, bent upon doing whatsoever
may be necessary to mako small gains
at the expense of every class of society,
decency and womanhood, they have for
feited their place In society.
We can be relieved from such brute
only by keeping them under lock nnt
key. By choice they surrender their
right to freedom. 'Puch crimes are not
accidental do not flow from temptation
nor weakness. They come through
jpremedttaMon, deelrn end depravity.
They should net be the subjects of senti
ment, to say nothing of sentimentality.
The entire community is permeated with
fear.
Crimes which Indicate the criminal has
resigned from society should be treated
heroically. When once caught, the resig
nation should be accepted once and for
all, and the lock and key should be his
guardian. Clemency Is not due htm, and
none should be extended.
It is wrong to put the whole blame
upon peace officers. When they ap
prehend and bring to punishment this
class, they are temporarily cared for,
soon to be turned loose In the same field
of operation. A burglar and a holdup
man should receive the limit every time,
and he should serve that limit, leavlruf
hope behind.
Tou are correct In saying the trained
criminal Is best behaved "when there Is
no other alternative." Neither parole
nor indeterminate sentence plan brings
reform to criminals. A criminal Is a
criminal from choice and should be
treated as such and locked up for keeps.
la it not Ume for all of us to think
It over? F. 8. HOWELU
More Reason and Leas Vlre.
ANSI.BT. Neb.. Nov. lA-To the Editor
of The Bee: I very much appreo ate
"The Bee's letter box," because through
Its columns one reads the varloua views
of our fellow men upon a large variety
"'"resting suDjecta. I would like to
add a few thoughts bearing upon the
present issue bewteen Mr. Rrv.ik m.
'Sunday and Mr. Bradshaw.
Mr. Roaicky in hla flrat arlni m.i.
though I cannot full concur in all he
bbiu. yei ii was logical and to the point
so far as it related to Mr. Sunday's
teaching. Though an adherent of Mr.
jriKersuu, ne snows the snlrlt of nniin.
man, and a defender of those who up
hold our laws; and as such is entlt.ed
to aue respect, even thounh we mv hu.
agree with his Biblical views. t
If In Mr. BradahaWs mind one lw. .
wrong he would do better to exert his In
fluence towards having laws an n-
noxlous to him rerjealad nr ma -.i
rainer man blame our school nffi, or
for upholding the laws we have maJe.
But Mr. Bradshaw wou.d have theaa
gentlemen violate our laws, which they
have' sworn to obey, merely to gratify
his personal whims; and those who stand
ay our scnool orncers In defending our
laws, he attacks with abuse and harsh
epplthetc
Now it does not require a very bril
liant mind to paw the air and allnr
abuse and vile epithets, and at the same
ume imagine they are great debaters,
and this seems to be the extent of Mr.
Brawshaw's ability aa shown In his ar
ticle of reply. He poses as one versed
in the scriptures, is a rreat stickler for
the literal Interpretation thereof, and
anyone who has the audacity to disagree
wun nis interpretation he is ready to
condemn.
Ood In His word aaya, "Come let us
reason together,1 but He. never men
tioned a word about our reasoning with
Mr. Sunday, or Mr. Bradshaw. I won
der why? and echo answers, whyT
F. M. 8IMOND8.
Pity for the Poor Officeholder.
OMAHA, Nov. 18. To the Editor of
The Bee: 1 noticed In your paper a few
days ago that two or three of our prom
inent society women of this city called
upon one of our city officers for the
purpose of selling him tickets at $3.
per to some entertainment, and were
very much put out that he did not Invest.
Some time ago, while at the city hall,
a question came up In somewhat of a
confidential manner and the question
was asked what the expenditures of some
of our city officials were In being forced
to purchase tickets from ticket pcddlars
and different organisations, and It was
estimated about S90 per month, each.
It does seem to me that the promot
ers of dance concerns and the various
entertainments should be able to finance
their own enterprises without subjecting
our publlo officers to the necessity of
paying out from 10 to 15 per cent of their
salary or humiliating them by refusing
so to do. These people who insist that
our public officers so spend their sal
ary are the flrat to protest against pay
ment of reasonable taxes, out of which
to pay officers' salaries. M. O.
Location of Federal Prlaoaa.
GIBBON, Neb., Nov. lS.-To the Editor
of The Bee: How many federal prisons
are there In the United States and where
are they located T Please answer as soon
as possible, as there are a great many
of us wishing to know. MAS WOOD.
Note There are three federal prisons
for civilian convicts, located at Atlanta,
Ga.; Fort Leavenworth, Kan.,, and Mo
Nell's Island, Washington state.
VTas Tate One Never a Bert
OMAHA. Nov. 11 To the Editor of The
Bee: Last night the Crelghton foot bail
enthusiasts, a couple of hundred strong,
invaded the Brandela theater, filling the
Place with their foot bail and college
yells. I think they show a lamentable
lack of perspective. There may be some
excuse for . such exhibitions of college
enthusiasm that offend good taste and
manners in a small eotlege town where
the college dominates everything andj
where the people exist on their earnings
off of students. Such is not the case la
a metropolitan city like Omaha, and the
bora have the wrong idea of the rela
tionship that exists.
We suggest that the Omaha theaters
hereafter protect their patrons from any
exhltilt of atudent enthusiasm of thla kind.
We want to think well of Crelghton uni
versity and we want to believe that the
boys go there for an education. The
ordinary business man la anything but
favorably Impreaeed with the product of
our colleges and such exhibits as invad
ing a theater with a howling mob of foot
ball enthusiasts does not make for good
opinion. R. P. ATWOOD.
Serin Thlnas A gala.
NORTH LOUP, Neb., Nov. lS.-To the
Editor of The Bee: Permit me to write
a few words on the subject of abusing
authority. The southern sotsty of sixty
years ago was the admiration of the
world. That society grew from an in
fant finally to the confederacy. The
confederacy waa a political power, the
outgrowth of southern society. That
confederacy, by political Intrigues, took
upon Itself the sovereignty of a nation.
This once done, one of the greatest civil
wars of the nations was the outcome.
Back of the picture stood "abused power."
In all ages and nations the abused power
has been manifested. We see it among
Individuals. We see It in society. We
see It in courts. Everywhere in political
life we may see the abused power.
A great lesson that might be learned
by the present ruling classes Is the abuse
of power. If the boards of trade, the
stock exchange, the asaoclated bankers,
the atatesmen, the courts and the finan
cial classes continue to Insist on making
prices, controllng elections, dictating
political policies. Inflated the currency
and contracting the same, placing out
false reports to change public opinion,
manipulating railway rates and fares,
how long will it be until the turn comes,
when the whole social fabric is drowned
in an avalanohe of public hatred and
everything Is torn down upon which to
build a new civilization? The confed
eracy is one only of a thousand exam
ples of abused power. Why did Israel
detest the prophet and teacher for telling
the truth? Why do the financiers detest
the person who insists on telling the
truth of modern conditions? We are on
the same road that has carried many
peoples and nations to destruction.
Abused power. WALTER JOHN80N.
Around the Cities
The postoffice at Lacona, N. T., has
just received its tenth annual call from
burglars. The number of repetitions ft
lost on the postmaster, who is out $2,000
In stamps, 1100 in money orders and $35
cash.
San Diego is all set for snother year
of Its exposition, warmed over and fat
tened with exhibits from the San Fran,
clsco show. Enough funds have been
subscribed to pay expenses and make
the show the chief attraction for next
year's tourists.
SMILING LINES.
Pauahter Why la II it candidate Is sl
wavs referred to as "runntmt" for office?
Father Because there's usually a doubt
about his gettlnn It In a walk. Judge.
Sergeant sternlyrHah. then. yer
young; blighter, you ain't larfin' at me,
are yer?
Young Blighter Oh, no, sergeant; no,
sir!
Serseant (more sternly Then what the
'ell rise Is there on parade ter larf at?
London Sketch.
"Pld you see where a husband In Pitts
burgh gloomily complained that whenever
his wife wanted him to eive her money
she hid his false teeth until she got It?"
"Poor fellow! No wonder he waa down
In the mouth." Baltimore American.
"Then you maintain there la no such
thing as luck?"
"I do."
"How about a waif adapted by a mil
llonnlre? Pure efficiency, 1 suppose?"
Pittsburgh I'ost.
Hub Well. It takes two to make a quar
rel, so I'll shut up.
Wife That's just like a contemptible
man. You'll sit there and think mean
things. Boston Transcript.
Blsxy What's the matter, old man,4 you
look worried?
Flxiy I have some cause to. I engaged
a man to trace my pedigree.
Bisiy Well, hasn't he succeeded?
Flaxy Succeeded ? I should say he has!
Now I'm paying him hush money.
Philadelphia Evening Ledger.
The profersor on political economy was
detailing the devices of finance.
' Money Is a drug on the market," he
started.
"Gee," exclaimed the student In the
fourth row, aisle seat, "I wish I knew
a ilrctr who could write me a pre
scription." Philadelphia Ledger.
"Charley, dear." said young Mra Tor
kins, "did you know they were destroy
ing the forests to make paper?"
"I've heard something about It."
"Maybe that accounts for something.
When I read some of the long arguments
on the tariff I felt exactly as if I were
getting lost in the woods. Washington
Star.
THE AWAKENING.
Brown wss a man of serious ktnd
Yet when the war began.
He took it coolly, and his mind
to optimism ran;
With breezy confidence he read
the "experts" every day.
"They tell us It's all right." he said,
"And they can't go astray!"
Right from the first he claimed to know
That quickly we should see
Exhausted numbers place the foe
Completely "on the knee;"
And though it seemed that losses vast
The Germans could afford:
Ho chuckled "Ah, It cannot last
Refer to Colonel Maude!"
However, when a year had flown
And things went on the same.
Brown grew more thoughtful, and his
tone
Less cock-a-whoop became;
And though no news of war's mishaps
Hla British courage shakes.
He's much less sure those "experts"
chaps
Can never make mistakes!
Omaha. SAM L. MORRIS.
snirj
Oieage Passenger Terminal, Chicago 4k North Western R.
FAST SPLENDIDLY EQUIPPED TRAINS
Ottkag and the ISSlt
Over a double track system with automatic
electric safety signals all the way from Omaha ,
to Chicago.
7 DAILY TRAIBJS-7
adl arriving at Chicago in the new Passenger Terminal
Chicago & North Western Ry.
convenient to hotel and shopping district
DAILY SERVICE!
Arrlva Chicago-. BUS p, m.
M M .. C:45 a. sa.
Leave Omaha. . 7:30 a. m.
M M . .19:30 p. as.
- - .. :00 p. m.
M .. 8:32 p. n.
M M .. ftOO p. a.
M M ..10:10 p. n.
M - .. 1:20 a. m.
M
M
7:S4 a. m.
..11:00 a. m.
.. 0:30 a. n.
.. 11:30 a. n.
.. Z:00 p. nu
Parlor Car on 7:30 a. m train. Observation and Sleeping Cars
oa other trains.
Overland Limited 9:00 p. m. extra-faro train for first-class sleep,
ing car passengers only.
Los Angeles Limited 10:10 p. ta. train for sleeping car pas
sengers only.
The Best of Everything
Ttefcesvi
Ticket O
tel. Deuglas 2740,
ttlona and Information si Cttv
ick Offices, 1401-3 Faraam St,
J
HEl... "wli i si i i i -rr iiini i Mil mlUM
JOBNMELUrA.C.A.
Chicago A North Western Rr.
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