Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, November 09, 1915, Page 6, Image 6

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Tne Punishing Company. Proprietor.
Entered at Omiht portofflee aa cond-claaa matter.
Ky carrier Py Wall
per month. PfT year.
r!lr and Sunday M Mc f
lly without Funday....' 4f-o 4 "
Kveataff and Sunday SCO
Evening without Sunday Vo. 4.00
Funday Re only I.oo
Fnil notice of chsnse of sddrese or coirtplalnts of
lrraularlty In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation
Remit hy draft express or postal order. Only two
cent stamps received In payment of small ao
counts. Personal check, except on Omaha and eastern
exchange, not accepted.
Omaha The Pee Rulldlna.
Pnuth Omaha ZTI8 N street.
Council Bluffs 14 North Main street.
Lincoln Little Pulldlnr.
Chloairo-01 Hrarst Rul'dln. .
New Tork Room 11K. 2 Fifth venn.
Ht. loule-MS New Bank of Commerce.
Washington 726 Fourteenth Bt., N. W.
Address communication relating to newa and edi
torial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department.
Rtata of Nehru iV a. County of Dnaslaa, aa:
Dwltt Williams, circulation manacer of The Be
PubiishtnC company, bain duly sworn, aaya that the
rente circulation for the month of October,
M M,7J4.
Dn'IQHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manairer.
Subscribed In my preeenc and aworn to befor
me. tbla 2d dav of November, 1915.
flaberribers leaving the city temporarily
ahonld hare The Be mailed to them. Ad
drees will bo changed a often a requested.
IT ov ember I ' ' ssssssssa
Thought for the Diy
5cr by Afa Ptaeoch
lama part of all thai, I havt mtt,
Ttt ail txptrienct it an arch vhtrt through
QUamt that vntravtltd world, vho$t margin
Fortvtr and former when I mov.
Alfrtd Tsnnyson.
From now until after Thanksgiving; the foot
tall boys will do moat of tbe corner brightening.
If the eulprlt'a guilt la established, there le
bo punishment prescribed by law too severe for
Time must elapse before tjje country can
sice up the democratic- party's preparedness for
a split
With the close of the navigation season ap
proaching, another waterways campaign will
eooa be due.
The trouble with that big "wet" parade In
Chicago la that Mayor Thompson shut down the
Sunday lid without letting them march first.
Considering what our democratic governor
and democratic state treasurer were going to do
'to one another, neither of them la moving very
Besides the regular street lights, those beau
tiful new ornamental lamps on the court house
square are strikingly conspicuous by the difference.
Three years la a lone wait between accession
, and coronation, but Emperor Toahlhlto will for
elve the arrangement commute If the crown
is put on straight.
So numerous and widely diffused were the
knockers of the New Tork constitution that a
search for causes affords as much useless ex
ercise as chasing the guy who struck Billy
President Wilson advocates preparedness to
defend ourself. The German notion of prepared
i.tss Is to be ready to strike first and to "beat
the enemy to It" The president will have to be
ruore specific.
Of course none of the other big and strong
roads had anything to do with the Missouri Pa
cific attack on the S-cent fare law. But as
pectators they cannot conceal their exuberant
Interest In the outcome.
Mr. Taft Emphasises his withdrawal from
political activities by advocating the revival ot
spanking as a corrective of youth. . Political
preferment Is hopelessly handicapped with Im
pressions built that way.
One of the claims made for the "Billy' Sun
day campaign here wao that it would open the
purse strings of converts and church members
alder for all sorts of religious, charitable and
philanthropic enterprises. How about it?
An unidentified statistical sharp estimates
that within two years the people of this country
Invested 1700,000,000 In projects so unprofit
able that all the money was lost It Is .quite evi
dent that munition factories have considerable
competition for easy money.
Fourteenth street property owners protested
' against th closing- of the street by tha railroad track
at a meelliuf at which the following committee was
appointed to wait on tha city council: Richard
Kitchen, It. T. Bmlth. Edward Ainscow, M. Hellrnan.
William Mack, V. Uurkley, F. W. Boucal and A.
Bartley Campbell's great play, "Tha Whits Slave,"
waa put s) at tha Boyd.
Frank Bandla disposed of hia opera house cigar
tore to A. J. Webb, and expects to go to Chicago to
spend tha winter with bis folks, returning In tha
M!s Julia Carter of Ottumwa. Ia., Is visiting her
brother, Lr. Carter.
Ueorge U. Bobbins, for twenty-five years an em
ploye of the Burlington, has left for Los Angeles,
where be will make hia future home.
Miss LUll Koch, who has been visiting Miss Lucy
iJrexel. has returned to HL Josvph.
The Board of Trade' at Its regular monthly meet
ing diDcuattd the advisability of having the office of
city building tnepeclor created.
The New Note to Great Britain.
The new note to Oreat Drttiln Is volumin
ous, comprehensive aid plain-apoken, yet
iierely restates and makes more emphatic the
potation which our government has taken from
the outset with reference to violations of the
rights of neutrals on the seas. We inMst that
previous to this war neutrals had secured the
embodiment of certain principles in the accepted
International law, ail in the direction of freedom
of navigation, and we protest against the cur
tailment or impairment of these rights under
nny pretext whatever. We do not propose to have
either Great Britain or Germany set up that we
trave acquiesced in their self-made rules of
blockade, war tone or wernlngless subsea oper
ations. So far as scoring Immediate results out of
the present note goes, we have, grave doubts.
The protest is hardly an ultimatum, and an ultt
r.iatum would be no more effective unless we
r ere ready to enforce our demands. It will,
however, enable the United States to renew the
propositions when the International code comes
to be reformulated, and also to prosecute claims
for damages which may have been sustained by
American cltlcens. The note is not to be taken
ta the final step in the correspondence, for It is
to bo presumed Great Brtain will digest it de
liberately and form its answer with like deliber
ation, as befits the ways of diplomacy. The
rrltlshers, however, may as well accept It as
certain that the United States, as the principal
neutral nation, will not yield a position which
our people unanimously believe is right
Circumstance! Alter Cases.
The humor of the "stuck elevator" which
kept the president of the Nebraska State Teach
ers' association from attending the big public
meeting at the Auditorium last week was gen
erally caught, but not the moral of the incident
It is said that In announcing the meeting the
distinguished educator had himself. admonished
the teachers that, if they could not be present
punctually at the appointed hour, they should
stay away from the session. And then by the
irony of fate tbe most noticeable case of tardi
ness was brought home to his own door.
All ot which only emphasises the time
proved fact' that circumstances alter casea.
Teachers can lay down rules galore for pupils
to follow, but emergencies are bound to arise
when the rules do not apply. The object of all
education is not to lay down inevitable com
laandments, but to teach people t think and to
conform their actions to the exigency of the moment.
Coronation of Empeior of Japan.
The ceremonies Incident to the coronation
of the emperor of Japan, which commenced Bun
fay and will continue for a couple of weeks, are
in strange contrast to conditions prevailing in
the other nations parties to the great war now
In progress. The part played by Japan In the
actual warfare waa a small one, completed
early In the struggle, and its participation at
present is merely industrial, and In consequence.
Instead of desolato homos and Borrow, the land
Is given over to rejoicing and its people are lay
ing aside their usual avocations to participate
In the century old Ceremonies incident to the
ihductlon ot a new ruler. Politically, the events
are robbed of any particular significance by
the fact that the emperor has actually been on
the throne long enough to Indicate what his
Heals and ambitions are and the coronation la
simply the formality of crowning, so that no
developments either In the relations of Japan to
ether natlona or ot internal policy are to be an
ticipated. In other and less strenuous times,
however, the ancient ceremonies would have at
tracted thousands ot visitors from all over the
world and descriptions of them would have
filled columns upon columns in the newspapers.
Lincoln Ought to Enow.
-'Council Bluffs is praying for prohibition In
Nebraska," so a well known citizen ot that
place is quoted in the Lincoln Journal, which
adds on Its own account, "Iowa turns dry with
the new year.' .Council Bluffs boozers later will
be, able to get . drunk In Omaha, after .which
they will return and muss up their homo town.
So Council Bluffs would like to see Omaha dry,
Well! Lincoln ought to know, because Lin
coln folks wore out all the street railway rolling
stock running to Havelock durinj the brief
period Lincoln was dry. We In Omaha, too, are
supposed to close at 8 o'clock, while Council
Bluffs Is reaping the advantage of keeping open
several hours longer but there was no move
neut In Council Bluffs to reduce the after-8-o'clock
'bridge travel until ' forced by state
enactment It is really too bad Lincoln Is not
as close to Council Bluffs as Havelock la to
War and Transfer of Industries.
The European war has forced this country
Into numerous lines of manufacturing activity
la which the United States had previously played
but a minor role If It had done anything at all.
In spite of the fact this country was at one
time the largest producer of furs in the world
and still is one of the largest, the dressing and
dyeing of furs has been practically monopolised
by Europe. The most noticeable instance of
this waa the fur seal, which has all been dyed
In London. The war has so seriously Interfered
with the Industry that fur dealers'ln this coun
try have seised the opportunity to Induce work
ers in the London dyeing establishments to come
to tbe United States and bring their Industry
with them. As the United States government
through its control ot the princpal source of seal
fur production, dominates the supply of raw ma
terial, It would be reasonable to expect the pro
ject to succeed. Other furs have largely been
dressed and dyed In Germany, and from the seal
experiment it is but a step towards taking in
the entire field ot fur dressing and dyeing, the
Magnitude of which Is little appreciated. The
people ot this country are among the largest
liters as well as producers ot fur, and Just why
England and tlermaoy have monopolised the
business of preparing them for use is not ex
plained on any logical ground, but simply be
cause they have reached out after the business,
end It will be a good thing In this instance, aa
In several others, if the necessities of the oc
casion force the country to utilise its opportuni
ties and resources.
If Mr. Bryan resigned from the cabinet for
fear we would not have at least a year ot con
versation with either Great Britain or Germany,
he certainly made an egregious mistake.
Tho Jews in the War Zone
Blermaa Bernstein.'
The Amerloaa anther, wa J net retnrned front
hia trln of lBTeetlgatia la Sarove, reports hia
findings to tha Amerteam Jewish Belief com- .
WHRRBVETl I went In blood-drenched Europe
In England, France. Italy, Bwitserland. Ger
many, Auatrla and HollnniV-the Jewish leaders
and tha Jewish rank and file hare asked me to trane
mlt their message to tha Jews of America. The war
of tha European powera has made It Impossible for
the Jews to speak In the same terms In their appeals
to their brethren for their brethren. Divided by their
sympathies, by their patriotism, though united by the
sufferings and tha martyrdom of the Jewish people
In tha war-stricken landa, they have to be diplomats
even when they ask "bread for the living and shrouds
for the dead."
All eyas of the Jewish people abroad are, turned
to American Israel, all hanla are stretched out to
the great Jewish center In the new world, watting
for help. They, are hopeful that the great American
Jewish center will surely act quickly, generously and
energetically and help In saving the Jewish centers
thst are being destroyed now, the mothers and chil
dren who are dying of hunger and of cold, driven from
town to town, like rattle, yet without the care ao
corded to cattle. They are hopeful that the Jews of
America will be aroused to a realisation of tholr full
duty to their brethren, to tha Jewish people which Is
becoming a people of starving wanderers.
It la not of the Jewish soldiers who have fallen
that I wrtta. Nor of tha Jewish officers who have
bravely given their Uvea upon the battlefields. In
Austria alone upwards of 1,600 Jewish officers have
already died on the battlefield in this war. Tha Jews
ererywnere have furnished proportionately a larger
share to the armies than the other elements of the
populations and their blood has been shed on all
battlefields. It la not of these victims of the war
that I write now. The Jews have given their lives
aa the other nations have given them in this most
useless, moat terrible of wars In history. But It is
of the people they have left behind that I write, ot
their fathers, their mothers, their sisters, their wives
and their children who are starving', of Jewish com
munities, .of ancient Jewish center of culture and
learning that have bean uprooted. Millions of Jews
In Russia and GeJIoU have been utterly ruined; they
are now homeless, hopeless, starving. Thousands of
thousands are actually dying of hunger. They are
starving In Russia, they are starving In Oallcla, and
they are starving In the Polish provinces occupied by
the German forcee. Tea, they are dying of hunger In
Ldbs and in Warsaw, and In counties othsr places.
It U not of equal right, not of emancipation that
I wish to writ Just now; It is of bread, of shelter
for the hundred of thousands who hav been torn
away from their homes, driven to the mercy of the
cold wind. They cannot even utter cries for help;
The censor Is suppressing these cries everywhere. The
refugees are crying In vain In the wilderness, but their
hope are directed to the Jews of America. When our
people are starving, when the Jewish question Is be
ing solved In certain places through annihilation, when
Jewish communities and Jewish centers of culture are
being wiped out will American Jews turn a deaf ear
to the call of despair? Will they remain silent? Will
they withhold their generous aid? Can they minimise
the tragedy by speaking of Its enormity and the Im
possibility of meeting the problems adequately?
Z hav seen tha Jewish viotlms of the war. Indeed,
the Jewish people Is the tragic victim of the war. I
hav seen ths nation of sorrows In mourning, plunged
into the depth of grief. :..,,'
I hav seen Jews who hav gone Insane from tha
horror that hav come upon the Jewish people In
Europe. X saw on of these victim in Bwitserland.
He had ' oocn from Russia. Bom of his relatives
died on the battlefield. Others were tortured by pog-roTn-tnaksrs
pillaged,, violated, hanged. lis ha seen
children tortured, woman violated and old men put
to death, and the Holy Scrolls desecrated. This has
driven hhn Insane, and hi "mania" express Itself
In a peculiar form. Wherever he goes he shouts about
the terror he baa witnessed, about the cruelties
against the Jewish people. All day long ha sits In his
little room and wilt hysterical and heartrending
letters and appeal to the rulers and potentates of
the nations, relating bis experiences and begging them
to make aa end to the persecution and suffering of
th Jews. '
There are many such unfortunates in th Russian
and Polish provinces where the Jew are starving
When th wnol story of Israel's tragedy In this
war will be told th world will shudder.
Aimed at Omaha
Tekamah Herald! Omaha la getting better. Last
week It revoked a saloon license for violating tha
S o'clock dosing law th first In th history of
that city. "Billy" Sunday's meetings are bearing fruit
Beaver City Times-Tribune: Thing go by op
posite. For Instances, the rankest democrat In town
takes the Omaha Bee, because he ha no use for th
World-Herald. t
Tork News: If the authorities are still unable to
locate those M., K. A T. holdup men. we suggest that
they send over to Omaha and get their police force
at work on th ease. -
Franklin NswS: Th Omaha Commercial club ha
a membership of 1,100 and believe us they are all
booster for Omaha. If Franklin had a Commercial
club of one-eighteenth th membership of th Omaha
club, and it should have, there would be something
stirring here every time anything came up that would
be of benefit to th city.
. RushviU Recorder: Th Be reminds Governor
Shallenberger that under the direct election system,
he cannot be a candidate for both senator and con
grsssmaa at th cam time. What do you know about
that There' nothing a democrat can't do.
Albion News: There are Indications that Omaha
has been reformed in a degree at least A saloon
keeper has been convicted of violating the law and
his license revoked. If such a thing ever happened
before It waa at such a remote period as to hav been
forgotten by th present generation.
Orand Island Independent: The Omaha newspaper
hav answered the Fremont Tribune' charge that
each of the metropolitan dallies hav received $3,000
for the publicity given by them to th "Billy" Bun.
day campaign. Th Bee. speaking for Itself, states
that not three cents, to say nothing of, was re
ceived by It for th most prominent and valuable
columns of th paper, and Editor Hammond haa been
compelled to retract th charge, th correction hav.
Ing already been cheerfully and gracefully made. It
can be accepted, therefore, as a fact, that never be
fore hav th newspapers of a city experiencing a
Sunday campaign, given tha evangelist more assist
anoa than waa given In, Nebraska's metropolis.
Orand Island Independent! Because a highway
man or two hav secreted themselves behind trees la
Omaha recently. It has been suggested by th city
commissioner, according to th Omaha prints, that
th tree be materially thinned out and the ah rubbery
in th private grounds near th leading streets be
rooted out Has It not come to a decidedly bad pas
If th situation Is such aa to J unify this suggestion?
Has Omaha done ail It could do as to other plans it
might be desirable to attempt before being driven
to the necessity of laying waste to its tree and
gardens on aeoount of th arlmlnal element which It
seems, at th moment to harbor? Are there not lees
useful, less ornamental, leas valuable rendevouses and
sources ot protection which It were better first to tbin
out: ' .
J7T - Zt ,
The Bible and Hell.
NORTH PLATTE, Neb.. Nov. 8.-T0
the Editor of The Bee; I read Mr.
It sloky s vIpws of hell and his flsying
of William Sunday. All I have to say
Is that so far ss I cn see and under
stand, Hilly" was right In seeking ad
ml'Klnn Into tha piablla schools In Omaha
to give a lecture or sermon either. Billy"
docs not sK any one to accept any
creed or discipline other than the holy
Bible (a-mcn), and why shtwildn t we have
the Bible In our schools?
I think a majority of the school board
members everywhere need a little en
lightenment along thla line. They seem
to think when they become members of
the school board It (the public s)
belongs solely to them. While I am not
acquainted with any of the Omaha school
board members. I will leave some
brother In that city to voice his opinion.
The lattef part of Mr. Roaicky s letter
is so nonsencicsl that It Is just about
worthless to "comment or debate on. As
all ha say or knows Is uppose, sup
pose, suppose this and that.
When he says "Billy" Sunday Is caus
ing more unhapplness, strife sad making
more people Insane than all other things
he is a fool, and I etui get the proof also
to make him out as such. A person can
readily figure out between llnea what
Mr. lloslcky is. He Is undoubtedly an
Ingersoll, Christian Scientist or one of
the Russelltes. Those three seem to
have a key that dropped out of the skies.
They seem to delight In slashing the
Scrlpturea of the holy Bible In ordor
to fit their own Idea. He might caU
hell, snakes, wild beast or anything he
wishes, but that does not change the
real meaning as set forth in the Bible
one lota. When Jesus said cast them Into
a furnace of fire, I don't think he meant
get an electrlo fan and a chunk ot ice.
No, I should say not. He meant just
what he said, and said Just what he
meant There's about fifty verse In the
Bible that will give Mr. Roslcky or any
one of his believers a good Idea of belt.
Here's a few. Wish I could hav space
to give 'em alt to you:
Matthews xxv:48. And these shall
go away Into everlasting punishment;
but the righteous Into life eternal. Deu
teronomy xxxll:23. For a fir Is kin
dled In Mine anger and shall burn Into
the lowest hell, and shall consume the
earth with her Increase and set on fire
the foundation ot the mountains.
tenblna to the Reecne.
CHICAGO, Nov. S. To th Editor of
The Bee: President Wilson's address
may be sumed up as follows: "Patriot
ism," "Prepardneaa for War," "Qualified
American Cltisenshlps," "No Religion in
Politics," and general procedure under
th "Direction of th God of Nations." f
"Patriotism." sure; that is nature's
first law. It follow from Individual
to the aggregation of government-aelf-preservstlon.
The more we preserve our
selves, th less time we shall have to
preserve other people.
"Prepardness for war." Who are w
going to fight? Are European govern
ments comrn her to fight us? Or are
w going abroad to fight them? Or are
w going to fight among ourselves?
Along with "preparedness for war," the
people of thla country want to know who
and what they are going to fight.
"Qualified American cittsensnlp." Now
you hav struck th keynote. President
Wilson. Who are theso? Hyphenated or
otherwise? They are those who hold a
supreme allegiance to a foreign power, po
litical, economic, religious or otherwise.
What is termed th Invisible" govern
ment? This Invisible government al
ready haa entire control of this
government in all its departments, its
ehlef exeontlve Inoluded. Do you, Mr.
President, want your army and navy to
fight this "Invisible" government, or to
compel some poor devil to shoot his
mother If the "lnvlsibl" government
ordered him to do ao?
"No religion In politics." coming from
a schoolmastsr, a preacher, a college
professor, and th president of th
United State of America, Such a decla
ration 1 enough to stun an Egyptian
mummy, Since th history . of th
world, religion and politic hav been
th two co-operative prime factors of
government; the two parent of des
potic power; so recognised by President
Wilson whan he declare that religion
la free, but don't talk about It. Thla Is
Ilk the president of a prohibition so
ciety usurping tha society, and declaring
that th members could drink all they
wanted to and such aa they wanted to.
Just so they would be prohibitionists.
"Under the direction of the God of Na
tions," In which case, why should Wil
son concern himself about It; leave It to
Ood. According to current report God
has been running this thing for S.00O
years, which Is another evidence that re
ligion always was In politics: th effi
ciency of which 1 demonstrated by the
war In Europe; regardless of President
Wilson's special prayers, and the nation
wide prayers of all the clergy In the
United States.
What hop can the people take from
four columns of this conglomeration in
the Chicago Tribune of November &? How
can the people return to the 'democracy
of Paine and Jefferson; and th re
publicanism of Lincoln.
True, the constitution guarantees the
freedom of speech and the press, civil
and religious liberty, and against special
privileges. But these are being usurped
by the invisible" government well nigh
to completion, which. It allowed to pro
ceed, will complete their purpose entirely.
It Is now up to an emergency. Th sur
vival of the fittest by direct action of
th people through their congress. Th
people cannot elect a president that they
can control. Get together, you people.
Throw your Jonah overboard and aava
your republic. LUCIEN 6TEBBIN8.
Editorial Siftings
Pittsburgh Dispatch: At the worst th
suffragists may take heart of grace from
the remembrance that such immortal
pioneers as Susan B. Anthony and Elisa
beth Cady Stanton never for a moment
forgot that optimism was a far superior
thought te pessimism.
Baltimore American: A New Tork po
liceman on duty at the polls remarked
that tbe presence of women there had
made hia duty merely formal, as the men
were trying to beat one another In the
showing of good behavior before the
women. This disposes of on slander
against American chivalry of women'
forfeiting respect by mixing with ail aorta
and condition at th polls. A Nsw Tork
judge declared th election the quietest
for years, ascribing this phenomenal
lack 'of disorder to th presence of the
Tips on Home Topics
Boston Transcript: The Bull Moose
party may be dead, hut It will take ten
years for the proofroom to stop spelling
the good old word Progressive with a
capital "P."
Philadelphia Ledger: Mr. Bryan's ref
erence to the advocates of preparedness
a paid axents of the shipbuilders and
ammunition makers Illustrates a familiar
habit of mind. Why should any one
champion a causa except for what there
la in It?
New Tork World: A banker's cashier
Is charged with losing $10,000 of his em
ployer's money "shooting craps." Stock
Kanrbling cannot be blamed In this In
stance. But why did he desert the reg
ular rame for one having no standing
In the -Street?
Pittsburgh Dispatch: Now they are
quoting the prophet Nostrsdemus. who
something like years ago, predicted
that "One day the British fleet will
steam up to Constantinople In a foggy
sea mist and win laurels In a great world
wide war." It seems to have come
true aa far as th foggy part of the
operation la concerned.
St. Louis Republic: The moral of this
brief tale Is that the people of Colorado
ought to own the Rio Grande and the
people of Missouri and the states to the
wet ought. to own the Missouri Pacific.
If our banks were owned In Wall street
and their stocks were gambled in there,
what eort of financial chaos would rule
west of the Mississippi? And how can
a stat of things that would mean ruin
to the banking business mean anything
else to the railroad business? Look at
the St. Louig Receivers' club for the
Christian Herald.
When mother reads a story Jes' before
w go to bed,
There's not a one of all of us that la a
W gather round and crowd up close
about her rockln' chnlr,
An a she reads I watch the light
a-glowin' on her hslr.
Oh! Jimmy's eyes get big as plates, an'
Msry sometimes squeals.
An' Betty sits with a tenr-ctalned face
because she sorter feels
Real sorry for the dragon when th hero
. kills him dead;
When mother read a story Je' before
we go to bed.
When mother read a tory Je' before
we go to bed,
I lean up close an' hold th book so sh
can pat my head;
For when the giant' yellin' fierce, It's
awful nice to know
That mother's arm le holdln'' you an'
will not let you go!
Oh! Buddy's mouth falls open most, he
gets so filled with fear.
An' Helen's eyes glow bright like stars;
an' when the end Is near
We hear the words, "They happy lived
far erver It waa said.
When mother read a story Jes' befor
we go to bed.
"That baiter la the moet valuable man
we hav In th place always ready to
back up any movement with a cash con
tribution." "But. then, you know It 1 a baker's
business to be always ready with the
dough." Baltimore American.
"What wonderful performers there ar
In that orchestra!" exclaimed Mrs. Cum
rox. "Wonderful Isn't the word," replied Mr.
Ptimrox. "They're almost superhumsn.
Why, they sound to me ss if they could
take a tune and Play It backward a
easily aa they could forward." Washing
ton Star.
"Well, Bibber, how did your little affair
last night com off? lld th boy eater
into the spirit of the occasion?"
"res, and the spirit of the occasion en
tered Into the hoys seven gallon f It '
Boston Transcript.
"I wlfh." said one motorcyollst, to an
other, after they had been admonished
three time In two blocks by watchful
policemen for speeding, "that w had the
same affliction her they are worrying
over In Germany."
"What's that?" ssked his friend.
"A copper shortage." Baltimore Amer
ican. "Up In the Arctlo region th night
are six months long," remarked the
t.xtenslve Traveler. .
"ThaseoT" said th Inebriated On.
"Gee! Think of a crowd of Eskimo
singing. 'W won't go home until morn
ing.' "Life.
. ... ,-n HI I IUI n
Hrts yj nuintri-irt-it
fflfERf y
"My wife hasn't been able to use up
half the material she bought for can
ning and bottling purposes. She's all
in a jam about her Jam."
"Mine Is In th tome fl. She's try
ing to ketch up with her ketchup.'
Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Why does the professor stay up alt
nlpht these nights?"
"He's investigating that theory that It
Is always darkest Just befor th dawn.
-Pittsburgh Post.
tth (after reproving him) Now ay you
are sorry that you kissed me.
He All right I'm sorry I klused you.
but It's better than being sorry tbat I
didn't. Chicago Post.
"Did the failure of women t get tha
ot In your state change view In favor
of a feminine ra'lot?"
"Not a bit of It convinced m that
my wife Is naturally qualified for th
vote. As soon as the returns war In
she begsn to say 'fraud' like a regular
veteran In politics." Washington1 Star.
'T never see that monkey skylarking."
remarked a man who understood monkey
language. "I never see him swinging
by the tall or having fun of any sort."
"Oh, tbat monkey has accumulated
s,0no,000 cocoanuta. explained an old
chimpansee. "He has to spend ail hi
time watching 'em. He can't have any
fun." Kansas City Journal.
1 i a . it 1
Avoid All Szs&GtifiesiiQO
The main things
to consider when you select
an office are location, safety,
service and comfort.
Location With the Court House Plaza opposite and
unequalled street car service, the location
is ideal.
Safety The building is absolutely fireproof. It ia '
surrounded by fireproof buildings.
Service Seasoned by years of careful management,
it offers the best of elevator and janitor
service. Little thinga are always taken oare
of immediately. Light, heat and water in
- eluded without extra charge.
Comfort This is a building that was built for com
fort and not for economy. The corridors are
wide, the windows are large. There is every
..modern facility and comfort in
"The Building that i alwayt nuM
The only rooms that we can offer now are the following, but if
they do not meet your requirements we will be glad to place yog
on our waiting list.
Room 222 Choice office suite, north light, very de
slrable for doctors or dentists; waiting
room and private office; 6 JO square feet, $45.00
Room 509 Room on the beautiful court; site 14il6.
a. bargain SI 8.00
Room 636 n,T vacant room on the outside of the
building. Faces directly on Seventeenth
street. Partition for private office and
waiting room. Stie 187 square feet 818.00
Room 105 At the hed ' tht ,ta,rB' 00 th nor op
posite 1 110 Dvm uuimcai vine, one s(U
square feet..
Apply to Building Superintendent, Room 103.