THK BEE: OMAIIA, MONDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1915.
i
! i
THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARO ROSE WATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
' The Pe Publishing Company, Proprietor.
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Address rommnnlcatlone relating to tiewe and edi
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OCTOBKR CIRCIXATIOX
54,744
BUle of Nebraska, County of Dourlaa. ai:
Pwlght Williams, circulation manager of The Bea
Publishing company, belns; duly aworn. eya that the
average circulation for the month of October, 1915,
waa 4 744
DWIOHT WILIJAMS, Circulation Manairer.
Subaciibed In my presence and aworn to bafora
me. thla 3d dav of November, IH1S. . .
ROBERT HUNTEK, Notary Public.
Babscrlbcrs leaving the city temporarily
fchould have The Ilea mailed to them. Ad
drres will be changed aa often aa requested.
r
Hovember
Thought for the Day
5ecf by Mr. C F. Damon
27m try birds art muU,
Or, 'if they ting 'tit with to dull ehttr
llu leawt look paU, dreading tKt winter ntar.
Shaketpean.
The specter of a divided family looms large
In the democratic camp.
- Presidential boomlets reverse the usual order
tf nature by blooming In the fall.
Still, It is quite handy to have the Omaha
' Billy" Sunday record to spur Syracuse oa to do
letter.
Now listen to his party associates denounce
the one-time "peerless leader" as "an assistant
republican."
In view of the paucity of the British bag
a other directions, Bagdad may generate a cheer
cn Downing street.! ,!; , . . ,
Note that every time Colonel Bryan throws
a brick bat at the president he also tosses him
a boquet just to emphasise how friendly he Is.
General Grant remarked that the democratlo
party could be depended on, while In power, to
break its own back.' The general was a keen
observer as well as a good fighter.
Our Commercial club has called a publio
meeting to discuss the question, "What Is a fair
return on an investment of capital?" - It depends
somewhat on whether the Investment Is yours or
the other fellow's. I
No matter how much criticism may be
roured on the strategy of war the strategy of the
Kaiser In placing reliable Hohenxollerna on the
thrones of buffer states shines with the luster of
finius as the days pass.
A fund of f ZOOTOOO," spliT fifty-fifty, will
accompany Chicago's invitation for both national
conventions. If Omaha democrats expect to
eHer the race for their own party convention,
it is high time to put up.
Enumerating state house officials "into
whose hands might safely be committed the man-,
ARement of a state-owned water plant," Edgar
Howard carefully omits the name of Governor
forehead. Well, how does that strike you?
Standing forth as an aavocate of humani
tarian principles in dealing with warring coun
tries. President Wilson delays a practical ap
plication at home- Hanging up a Judicial plum
for three whole months comes perilously close
to cruel and Inhuman treatment of the fam
, Ishlng.
The suspension of the two-cent far In Ne
braska In favor of one railroad will not in any
way change the transportation charge between
competitive points, for no one will pay three
cents a mile for a ride he can take for two cents
. a mile. It Is only the pasaenger to a non-com-retltlve
point who gets stuck.
The finances of the San Francisco exposition
show net earnings of 11,410.000 In ten months.
Much local satisfaction la felt over the financial
success achieved under conditions ' decidedly
gloomy at the start The slogan "See America
First." emphasised by war, gave a mighty im
pulse to local patronage and saved the dsy.
1 1 n ft
A goodly throng attended the Young Men'a Chris
tian association maaa meeting In the opera house,
at which short talk were mad by Dr. Lelaeurlng,
Rev. A., r. Sherrtll, Warren Swluler. P. C. Hlroebaugn
O. A. Joplla and Rev. W. J. Ilarahaf
William A. Paxtoo. jr.. baa accepted the position
of accountant at the office of the atock yard com
pany. Mra. Captain Howadon of Chicago and Mrs. Cane
f Denver, who baa been the gueat of Mra. T. I
fcUmbail, have, gone an to Chicago.
1. M. Clarke, oomralaaloner general of the New
Orleans exposition, epent the day la Omaha.
Mr. and Mra. A. Dlcktnaon and children of At
lantic, la., returned home after a vUlt with Mra.
Mcklneon'a mother, Mra. Rocard.
General Jam F. Brisbane, comma ad ant at Fort
Niobrara, la atopplfuj at the Paaton. To a reporter
ha expressed himself upon the growing tmportanoa
of the cattle industry of the west, and Particularly
western Nebraska.
Real genuine Chinese tea la pound, half pound
and quarter pound nut the humbug painted teas
n.sy 1 had at En Goon s, ill North Sixteenth street
4 .
The Breach It Growing.
The attitude of his former secretary of state
toward President Wilson is probably the biggest
question mark In democratic politics today and
their differences are thinly veneered by their at
tempt to maintain an outward show of mutual
admiration.
Every criticism of the president made by Mr.
Bryan is coupled with praise for his personality
and a tribute to his sincerity, and if by chance an
editorial blue pencil should eliminate the closing
sentences It would be difficult to construct ex
pressions of more fulsome praise. The 'presl
dent, on the other hand, has not yet deigned to
take notice of Mr. Bryan directly, letting his own
utterances addressed to the public stand for an
answer. Whether he Is waiting for an opening
to deliver a body blow or whether he Intends to
continue to Ignore the attacks of his forme
cabinet chief no one but himself can know.
For Mr. Bryan to take such a pronounced
stand against the president on a question upon
v htrh the administration will stake Its claim for
a return to power, however, can not be In
terpreted except as a declaration of hostilities.
It Is easy to disagree on non-essentials and still
render a whole hearted support, but a disagree
ment on fundamentals would Impute insincerity
or desire merely to control the fleshpots and Mr.
Bryan has always been credited with possessing
higher Ideals. Mr. Bryan's recent declaration
that he had no present plans for political prefer
ment throws no light on his motives for "the
present" is an Indefinite period and may mean
much or little. That he would ever Intentionally
obliterate himself as a political factor no one
who knows him or has followed his political
career will conceive and it Is scarcely more prob
able that he will be merely an academic part
What Nebraska democrats who have always
followed the Bryan banner, but whose purposes
are mainly to land office, think about the present
situation would not do to print. To careful
observers who hark back to the past the growing
t reach between president and former premier
occasions no surprise.
Practical Navigation Movement.
Bt. Louts is going about the matter of a re
vival of river shipping In a decidedly practical
way. All the talk In the world about the utility
and value of river transportation will come to
naught unless means can be adopted to convince
the men who must put money Into It to make It
a reality that they can obtain a fair return on the
Investment. One can quote figures as long as a
democratlo federal treasury deficit to no purpose
if they are not coupled up with some practical
rssuraace that the money Invested win return a
revenue. St. Louis merchants have taken this
step. They are entering Into a written contract
to furnish a specified amount of tonnage each
year for a fixed period, at a fixed rate for the
service. With this as a basis steamboat men
can readily figure out whether the capital neces
sary to establish and conduct the business will
be profitably employed. The plan goes right to
the meat of the question and removes it from
the field of academic discussion .
Wasteful Movement of Gold.
Nothing Is giving thoughtful financiers so
much concern Just at present as the accumula
tion of gold In the United States. The Immense
balance of trade in favor of the United States
Is bringing gold . from Europe at an unprece
dented and undreamed of rate., Previous to this
year the record of gold Importation was in 1898,
but since January 1 of this year gold imports
have exceeded the amount for that entire year by
$142,000,000, the total being $300,000,000. The
immense crops of 1915 and the continuation of
the European demand for the same presages no
cessation of the conditions which have caused
this Immense importation of gold.
The cost of transportation Is considerable,
the risk Incident thereto under existing condi
tions is still greater, and great also Is the loss
tf the use of the money In transit, but even
these are small problems compared with the
others. It has so disturbed exchange rates with
Europe that much business In grains and other
food products threatens to go to countries with
which the European exchange rate Is more fav
orable something which Involves the prosperity
of the entire country, for a market must be
found for our great surplus of foodstuffs to
avoid an' inevitable fall in prices Another
source of worry is what to do with the gold now
that we have it in excess of requirements with
n.ore coming In. Inflation, whether of gold or
other circulating medium, leads to unduly ris
ing prices, reckless speculation and other costly
evils.
The only remedy that appears feasible is the
substitution of credit for the importation of gold.
The loan to France and England has- eased the
situation somewhat, but this amount will soon
be absorbed and prove only a temporary relief.
One way would be the purchase of European
owned American securities, of which millions
upon millions are still owned in Europe. Their
return to American ownership would end the
continual drain of interest and dividend money
going abroad ever stnee the great era of develop
ment set in in the United States, and in the end
fiimly establish American finance. That this
country could now easily absorb an immense
amount of this class of credits is patent, but the
owners do not wish to part with them and per
haps cannot be made to. When the war is ended
and the era of rehabilitation of Europe sets In,
probably1 the demand for money at home will in
duce these Investors to help solve the problem,
but Just ft present there seems to be nothing in
sight except the expedient of temporary credits
for goods purchased here in America.
Small Consolation for Democrats.
Commend us to the frankness of Senator
Hitchcock's personal organ in boldly admitting
surprise and disappointment at the strength
ehown by the republicans in the elections last
Tuesday. To be sure, the senator's newspaper,
with his own ambition for a second term In
front of him, insists on finding a measure of
consolation by asserting that the republicans are
also surprised and disappointed in not scoring
bigger majorities. The smallness of the gains
in Massachusetts. Ohio and Kentucky, It de
clares, "keeps the republicans from crowing too
loud." But. unfortunately for the senator, it
keeps the democrats from crowing at alL The
democrats may as well face the proposltloe that
they are In control of national affairs only be
cause of former division of their opponents,
which these elections prove no longer exists in
any degree encoursging to democratic hopes.
The Balkan atew glvea promise of surpaanlng
the famous concotlon of Shakespeare's witches.
I
Advertising is Not
An Economic Waste
" The Independent. -
A GREAT deal li aald about the value of adver
tising to the salesman, but very little about Ita
value to the buyer. Yet It la obvloua upon re
flection that auch an expensive piece of machinery
as the modern syetem of advertising could not be
maintained unless Ita benefits were mutual. It take
two to make a bargain and thla new method of bar
gaining, thla new channel of communication between
producer and consumer, must be giving aatlafactlon
to both, although the aald party of the second part
rarely realises how greatly to his advantage It la
The common saying "It pays to advertise" haa a
wider meaning than It Is generally credited with. Ad
vertlalng on the whole pays all those concerned. Ad
vertising pays the advertiser In case the money la
wisely expended. Advertising pays the periodical, w
are happy to say. Advertising pays the purchaser,
fo it puts him In the proud position of being the
aought Instead of the seeker.
Aa the maiden whose hand la nought by a throng
of eager suitors la more happily situated than she who
haa none, so Is the consumer today vastly better off
than he was before the discovery of advertising. For
the expenditure of 5 or 10 cents he can summon to hit
presence In an Instant ealeamen of all sorts of goods
who will spread out before him their most attractive
warea and urge them with their utmost eloquence. Is
ha averse to Investing, ha haa but to close the
magaxtne and the solicitor of his patronage vanish a
though by maglo. But so long aa he Is willing to listen
they are glad to talk business to him, even though
he haa not a cent to spend. The signs we see In
stores "No trouble to show goods," "No obligation to
buy," are not to be taken literally, aa a person known
to he penniless would soon find to his chagrin. But
they do honestly apply to the silent and obliging sales
men who atand behind the pases of a periodical.
Now consider the lot of one who had the misfortune
to live before the advertising era. He had first to dis
cover for himself the want of something. Naturally
thla discovery waa not usually made until something
ha already had gave out, and then h knew no better
than to replace It wtth something of the same sort.
Thla relation of consumer to producer waa not merely
troublesome to the Individual, but a htndranca to
progress. It put the burden of Instigating Innovation
upon the person who waa least capable of It, the pur
chaser. Let the reader Imagine himself In the position
of his great grandfather. Ills clothes are wearing
out. Ha must first hunt up a man who makes cloth
and get from him enough for a suit. Then ha must
go to a tailor, tf in a city, or wait till one cornea
around, if In the country, and get him to make It
under hla direction.
Nowadays a man haa but to open a paper or
periodical to have called to hla attention the desir
ability of new clothee. Artiste of ability with the
aid of manly model give him free advice on the cut
of a coat or the tying of a tie. Ha learna of new
booka and mu steal Instruments; he la told of the at
tracttveneas of new foods and drinks The advertiser
la a publio educator, mora proficient In the art of
teaching than the graduates of our normal schools,
ft la dua largely to htm that In regard to the con
veniences of Ufa wa live In another world than our
ancestors. New luxuries are Invented dally and
speedily become necessities through the medium of
the advertisement
For Instance, the use of prepared cereal food la a
veritable revolution In the dietary of the nation. Bay
$8,000,000 haa been apent in accomplishing It, could the
result have been attained as quickly or more cheaply
by any other meane? How long without advertising
would It have taken to have developed and made
known to everybody the automobile and the hand
camera, the player-piano and the phonograph, the of
fice utilities, tha toilet accessories and all the thou
sand "Yankee notions" that make our Ufa so pleasant
and complete t f
No, advertising la not "one of the economic wastes
of competition," as It la sometimes called. It la oa tha
whole well worth what It costs to tha community and
It la hard to see how tha world can aver get along
without It. Evan If competition be aome time elimi
nated, advertising of some kind will have to be kept
up unless tha race la to etagnate. Progress consists
In tha creation of new wants; happiness In tha aatla
factlon of them. Bo both progress and happiness are
facilitated by tha efforts of tha advertiser. Ha la not
producer; no, and neither la lubricating oil a fuel
for tha engine, but It Is quite as Indispensable as coal.
The advertiser ahould not be regarded as a parasite
upon Industry, as an extravagance to be aoma time
eliminated In tha Interest of economy of) distribution.
Ha la more likely to be regarded In tha future as a
person of greater Importance than at present, for tha
training of tha publio In new habit and tha Intro
duction of new utilities will become more necessary
aa science and invention become more active. When
hla real value to tha community as an accelerator of
civilisation becomes recognised, historian will rank
the discovery of advertising as an epoch-making event
and not leaa important than tha discovery of America.
Aimed at Omaha
Fairbury New: In tha future tha street fair or
carnival feature of the Akr-Ben celebration at
Omaha will be abandoned. All partlea concerned have
reached the conclusion that It add nothing to the
festivities, aad that It la degrading In Ita tendencies,
Tha conclusion, we believe, 1 a wise one. Tha modern
atreet carnival has very little to eommend It, and
Omaha caa wall afford to dispense with It
Tork Republican: Omaha will behave now for a
while. At least tha people there have been told what
kind of eattla they are. and that ought to make them
modest. If not circumspect
Ord Journal: Twenty thousand dollar look Ilk
a big fa for a preacher, but we are told that the
Omaha people paid that much money cheerfully to
"Billy" Sunday for hla campaign In tha metropolis.
They would dig up even more than that for two houra
of work between Go ten and 6tacher or Jea Wlllard
and aome celebrated pug and the aftermath wouldn't
result In anything beneficial either.
Bt Paul Phonograph: And they have actually con
victed a couple of saloon keeper In Omaha of violat
ing the I o'clock closing law. It took three year to
accomplish that feat and we believe "Billy" Sunday
should be given tha llon'a share of tha glory for tha
conviction. And tha moat remarkable part of the
whole matter la tha conviction was obtained before
a jury. Will wonders never cease T
Twice Told Tales
A Off HI Heart.
John Drew tell tha following story of aa actor
now playing ia England:
"He la quite a practical Jokr.M aaya Drew, "and
hla friends frequently UT to get back at hlra, uaually
without success. Recently h received from a New
Tork friend an unpaid letter containing nothing but
thla brief message:
N 1 am quite well and In good spirits. Kindest re
gards. Tour Friend.
"Tha actor waa rather annoyed at having to pay
postal charges for auch a piece of newa, but ha forth
with determined to retaliate. H motored out Into
tha country and picked up a heavy stone, packed It la
a box; and aant it to tha New Tork friend, marking
tha bos, "Collect on delivery.'
"Tha New Yorker neve,, doubted but that tha con
tents ware valuable, and gladly paid tha heavy ex
press charsea dua Opening tha box ha found, to hla
consternation and dismay, nothing but the atone and
a card, upon which waa written!
" On receiving tha newa that you were well and
In good spirit, th accompanying load rolled off my
heart.' "Indianapolis Kiwi
avnr rci
Bee' Milk Past Appreciated.
OMAHA, Nov. .-To the Editor of The
Bee: Wa are Indeed grateful to you for
making It possible tor ua to supply milk
and Ice to our sick bablea
It la only by the assistance of our
friend that we are able to do this thing
which seem to u so well worth while.
I hone that you realize in a measure
the depth of our gratitude.
BESSIE B. RANDALL,
Superintendent Visiting Nurse Awn.
A Prepheer Peace aad Ormpejalce.
OMAHA. Nov. . To th Editor of The
Bee: Would you permit me to prognosti
cate very briefly on thing political to
the extent of aaylng that President Wil
son' attitude on prepardnesa will force
the peace advocates In the old parties and
the prohibitionist to nominate and en
dorse William J. Bryan for president on
a platform of peace and grape juice un
f ermented) T
JE88E T. BRILLHART.
370 Fa mam Street.
, Scents m Catastrophe.
OMAHA, Nov. 7. To the Editor of the
Bee: I have noticed In your valued
paper a letter by a man named Cole,
against keeping a rat That man la cer
tainly craxy. The town would be over
run with rata If It weren't for the cat.
We lost our cat by an accident thla sum
mer and In a week' time our cellar
waa filled with rat, which did more
than $10 worth of damage. As soon aa
possible we aeoured another cat and now
wa hav no rata, although several of
our nelghbora who keep no cat are over
run with rat and el way spreading rat
poison about and two of tha valuable
doge In the neighborhood ate it and died,
also a large number of bird. I should
far rather lose a few btrde than be over
run by vermin, which certainly are a
menace to health and property.
If wa did not lose a few bird by
cata we would be overrun with bird.
I like birds, but I don't like too many
of them. Jn New Tork one office build
ing , waa ruined by them had to be
cleaned continually at a great expense,
and was a menace to health by Ita foul
ness, until a crusade waa started against
tha birds. I have come out In the morn
ing and found my front porch covered
with filth from the birds that hav
roosted there over night every day It had
to be cleaned. I like birds In their place
In tha woods and aa everyone wtth
tense knows, cat don't Inhabit tha wooda.
I know a man thla aummer, who lot
hi whole cherry crop by the bird eat
ing them, and what they did not eat
they pecked holea in. That man la poor
and waa depending on hla cherry crop.
What he needed waa a good cat
Another question. There are a great
many things In this world w don't
undeatand, occult thing. Cata were al
ways held aacred in Egypt and it waa
considered bad luck to kill one. I don't
undeatand it myself and don't pretend
to. but I have known a great many peo
people who have killed cata and have been
extremely unlucky. One case Jut came
to my attention. A man I knew very
well, wished to get rid of his cat, because
hla wife bought a bird, eo h killed th
cat. In about a week, hla aister, who
made her home with them, auddenly want
violently Insane and died In a week, his
only cousin ha had in Omaha died and ho
himself had a stroke of peralyle and
died, all In tha one month. They had
all been In the best of health berora ha
killed poor pussy.
I may be foolish, but' I believe In being
kind to cata and letting them llv. Any
way If wa didn't have cats wa would
have rata so give me tha cata.
A LOVER OF CATS.
A Christian Hiding; Hla Identity.
SOUTH BIDS, Nov. T. To tha Editor of
Tha Bee: Among many others, I re
ceived a letter congratulating me In ac
cepting Jeaua Christ as my personal
Saviour, signed "A Christian." If thl
person will kindly send ma hla address I
will have aomethlng to write to auch per
son. J. O. BLESSING.
A Democrat Aaralaat Wlleoa.
OMAHA, Nov. . To th Editor of Tha
Bee: When one'a chief 1 popular it la
tha proper thing to follow that chief. No
president la aver so popular aa a war
president I cite you Jamea Madlaon,
Abraham Lincoln, William McKlnley,
and, last and moat Important, tha bras
Idol of th democrats, Wood row Wilson.
Nevertheless L a democrat do hereby
declare that I am "fernlnat" th aforesaid
idol with all tha fervor that tha priest
of old opposed the Idol of Baal. I will
add that I was not a candidate for office
not oven poatmaater.
Wood row Wilson Is regarded a a states
man. Tha Mexican affair, which In base
hall lingo might well be termed a "bone,"
attest tha degree of statesmanship thta
modern Perlclea haa. Perhaps It 1 not
th above that glvea him the name, per
haps It I the fact that ha Issued the
proclamation for prayer for peace, at tha
aam time allowing weapons to be with
held from Mexico while sending them
freely and abundantly to our friend In
need (United States history, 1861-1), Eng
land. Ha la a politician. Proof? In tha first
place, ha refused to accept any endorse
ment by the "populists" lest it would In
jure him In tha eaat Second, ha haa tried
to curry himself favor with militarists.
Third, while th departed declared for
one term only, he la pulling the wires for
a second. Fourth, hla prematura mar
riage to advertise himself further.. Fifth,
hla audden flop to woman's suffrage.
Again I repeat I am an ordinary cltl
sen, not disgruntled, but possessing th
ability to weigh oven big guns like Wil
son In tha beianoa. I hav found him
wanting. JAMES OWEN.
Editorial Sif tings
' Boaton Transcript: Weil, anyhow, the
unterrifled democracy haa some consola
tion la that astounding landslide In Mis
sissippi, Indianapolis Newa: A good many peo
ple will agree with th Indiana supreme
court In Its Intimation that tha law la
not an exact acleno. Th only aura
thing about tha law 1 tha lawyefa fee.
Loulsvtli Courier-Journal: Mr. Kaah,
a republican, waa elected Common
wealth's attorney la the Breathitt district,
defeating Mr. Cope. For puna upon either
of the two names a fine of not lasa
than 110 or mora than tas and a real
estate bond for six moatha
Springfield Republican: Tha progressive
party' streojrth In th New York as
sembly haa fallen off IS per cent from
twe men to ona Hamilton Pish, jr., who
will be the whole party membership at
th coming session, is a son of a former
speaker of the assembly. And ha may
yet beoome speaker himself. Stranger
thing hav happened.
Tips on Home Topics
Boaton Transcript: It hard to tell
whether the unemployment In this Coun
trji due to too little work or too much
war stock prosperity.
Bt Louis Glot Democrat: Oil made
one aet of American millionaire, auto
mobile another, and th making of the
munition millionaire Is now going on.
Cleveland Tlaln Dealer: It I announced
by the doctor that no man over 4S years
ever ha appendicitis. If they'd ect the
aae limit earlier, even fewer people would
worry themselves Into having It.
Baltimore American: To kick, in the
sense of to protest ha now the sanc
tion of the United State supreme court,
and a auch ha a place In the English
language, from which even a court In
junction can no longer oust It
Louisville Courier-Journal: Scrgeona
resent the statement t"dles as a result
of an operation." Die "dosp te" an op
eration would be more tactful and the
deceased wouldn't demand a retraction.
Brooklyn Ragle: The operation on J.
P. Morgan for appendlcltl wa accom
plished without unfa ' -In
Wall rtrcet. Evidently the market,
like the patient, is in a healthy condi
tion. Philadelphia LedKer: "Since I've been
In politic," say Mr. Bryan, "reforms
hve been accomplished that would have
once cost thousand of Uvea." Think
what that man haa saved the country
three times!
Brooklyn Eagle: The upper air high
way of the future will never have to
be dug up and repaired. Many auto
driver are yearning hopelessly for cheap
aeroplanes that will carry five passen
gers, and stand without hitching.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: In Chicago Mon
day Secretary McAdoo id the country
wa on the eve of the greatest era of
prosperity ever known. In Montana, a
few days before, he denounced all such
prediction aa "bunk." Isn't It about
time for the White House to Intervene
with th silencer?
Philadelphia Record: ' It takes some of
the frlghtfulness out of th Hobsonlan
theories of danger of Japanese Invasion
of the United States when Premier
Okuma admits tha Inability of Japan to
aend an armed force to assist Ita allies
In th European ' war, because of the
lack of adequate mean of transport It
would require X, 000,000 ton of shipping.
The whole commercial fleet of Japan
only aggregates L 000,000 tons. Th best
the Japanese can do, Is to assist In keep
ing open acceaa to tha Russian Siberian
seaports for the delivery of needed war
munition.
smrNO urns.
"I don't see why everybody Is so down
on the war censors. Arcn t they merely
performing a consistent duty?'1
"How o?"
"Well, what good 1 a censor unlesa he
Incense people? 'Baltimore American.
He Think how happy you can make me
by taking this step.
She Htep? Fllnht of stair, you meant
Your first wife left uch a family.
Judge.
"I hear you ra-a-alllng me," warbled
the daughter from the parlor.
"Yes." sang mother from the kitchen.
"I want you to come here and help me
with the dis-s-shes."
And then a profound alienee reigned.
Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Don't you think It'a your duty to for
give your enemies?"
"It's more than a duty." replied Senator
Sorghum. "It'a a pleasure if you can
manage to get your enemies In auch a
corner that they can't resent your tone
of condescension." Washington Star.
Short If the collector calls wtth that
bill, tell him I'm out
Mr. Short But that would be a He.
Short No, It wouldn't; I'm out of cash,
ain't I? Boston Transcript.
Qlady t am going to buy an auto
mobile and I want you to go along and
help me select one.
Cousin Jack Not for me, little girl.
Why, I even wouldn't pick you out a hua
band. Puck.
"I hear there' waa an international
tragedy at Mr. Jim' function th other
afternoon "
"D-ar me! What wa the matter?"
"Somebody spilled the Russian tea over
the Turkish rug. and their Belgian dog
got so excited he bit one of the Hun
garian band." Baltimore American-
One day I met an ogre fat. while atrolling
down the lane;
Said I. "The way that you behave give
me the keenest pain!
Why do you eat small girt and boy,
their parents' hearts to hrak?"
"I'll tell you why," the ogre aald. "I Can't
afford beefsteak." Judge.
THE CHEYSANTHEMTJM.
Philander Johnson, In Washington Star.
Again vou greet us, thing of tousled
glory.
The final charter of the summer atory.
With hints of snow to come.
You are no blossom, manicured and
fussed up.
But debonalre, go-as-yon-pleaee and
mussed up.
Oh. gay Chrysanthemum!
Oh, blossom wllh a pedigree historic.
You have produced of phrase raeta-
rborlc
A formidable sum;
We've called you "cold slaw," In our
Jocund ravings.
A tansied ball of yarn, a bunch of
rhavlng.
You seemed. Chrysanthemum. (
The modest violet long since has faded.
The blighted rosebud pine away un
shaded Where bee once loved to hum.
But you, though aklea look down with
aullen aneerlng.
Are on the Job, with launty persevering.
Old friend Chrysanthemum.
Everyfifth roll is Certain-teed
The General says: K
There are different ways of speculating
and one of the easiest ways to burn up
your money is to buy an unknown grade,
a 'just as good grade on a fake-guaran-'
teed . grade of roofing."
c
ericaum
teed
I Roofing
his big- manufacturing-
plants behind
his guarantee, it
means something
A man without
money or responsi
bility can "guaran
tee" anythine with
out running any financial rlk but when T to you at the purchaser of roofing that's
the maker of Certain-td Roohnsr putt whv vou should insist on Cmrtam-Umd.
General Roofing Manufacturing Company
World ! largest manufacturer of Roofing and BuOdtna Paper
New Yerk City . Chica rhlladelpal St. Leuil Beaton Cleveland
Pittaawrth . Detrelt gaa Fraaekwo Cincinnati Mimteaaelis
Uty Seattle Atlanta HwHis London Ham bur Sydney
CARPENTER PAPER CO.
OMAHA-DISTRIBUTERS
CERTAIN-TEED ROOFING
BUILDING PAPER
e
The main things
to consider when you select
an office are location, safety,
service and comfort.
Location With the Court House Plaza opposite and
unequalled street car service, the location
is ideal.
Safety The building is absolutely fireproof. It is
surrounded by fireproof buildings,
Service Seasoned by years of careful management,
it offers the best of elevator and janitor
service. Little things are always taken care
of immediately. Light, heat and water in
cluded without extra charge.
Comfort This is a building, that was built for com
fort and not for economy. The corridors are
wide, the windows are large. There is every
modern facility and comfort in
THE BEE BUILDING
"Th Building that U alway$ new"
The only rooms thst we can offer now are the following, but If
they do not meet your requirements we will be clad to place you
on our waiting list.
Room 222 Choice office suite, north light, very de-
Blrable for doctors or dentists; walUng
room and private office; 620 square feet. $45.00
Room 509 Room on the beautiful court; slse 14il6.
A bargain. . . . .
818.00
Room 63ft Only vacant room on the outside of the
wvu wv bulldlnj Faces directly on Seventeenth
' sUt. Partition for private office and
waiting room. Size 1S7 square feet 318.00
Xtnnm 1ftAt the-head of the stairs, on the floor op
iioom J,uposlte The Bee business office. Slse 170
square feet 330.00
Apply to Building Superintendent, Room 103,
1