THE BEEi OMATTA, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 1915.
THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER.
VICTOR ROSBWATEU, EDITOR.
The Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
BEH) BCILD1XO. FARNAM AND frEVr.NTBrKNflT
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OFFICES.
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OCTOBKTi CIRCTLATIOX
54,744
Blot a of Nebraska, County of Donglaa. as:
Dwlgl t Wllllama. circulation manager of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly aworn, aaya that the
average circulation for the month of October, WIS,
waa M.744.
DWIOHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and aworn to before
roe, thla Id day of November ISlfi. .
ROBERT liUMTKH, Notary Public.
Subscribers leaving the city temporarily
should have The Bee mailed to them. Ad
dress will b changed as often aa requested.
rr
Thought for the Day
At on toiki round tht world, nd at ont
looks svretwwl Oitr ten land today, ht iu$ that
tkt om thing to nstd in high plaettht thing
whott mbtenct, among thou who hold tht rtlnt
of hig.ttt power, it making us all anxiout ih
regard to tht progrut of tht country -ii pr
mm! character. Phillip$ Brooks.
4
All right, then! Come on with your city
jlan and roar social survey.
In ipite of the late start drug stocks promise
to overtake and past Wall street's favorite "war
table."
War leader vehemently assert that the war
mutt be fought to a finish and that peace talk
la melees. They protest too much,
Carrania Is making ua quite a few pledges.
We will see later whether they are 'solemn cov
enants" or mere "scraps of paper."
Governor Walsh of Massachusetts wss run
ning for a third term when he stubbed his toe.
Governor Morehead of Nebraska will take notice,
If he Is wise.
The awful beating given the new constitution
tn all quarters of the Empire state relieves Tam
many Hall and the Black Horse cavalry ot the
direct charge of homicide.
i
Secretary McAdoo announces that "an era
of prosperity is on the way." This is the most
accurate interpretation of republican gains In
the week's election that has yet appeared.
The distinctive feature of Secretary Lan
sing's prolific crop of notes is the absence of a
fixed date of settlement. In this respect diplo
macy mocks the literary efforts of financiers.
i Even though the returns from the Big Four
are not as "perfectly lovely" as they might be,
the suffragists are entitled to the credit of mak
ing a distinct Improvement In political parades.
Another big credit mark that belongs to our
Nebraska teachers is the large proportion of
those who attend the meetings and general ses
sions and the small proportion of those who
play hookey.
Among other places in which Nebraska has
teen scoring noticeable progress is the improved
appearance of her school teachers. Nowadays
they are "style-all-the-while" and good to look
at all the time.
Reports of good results flowing from con
solidated rural schools justify the claims of ad
vocates of consolidation. Unity of Isolated parts
makes for efficiency in education aa in other
tinea of Industry.
American firms doing business in Great Brit
kin through agents or otherwise might as well
prepare to psy their share ot the war income
lax. The urgent need of money blocks the usual
avenues of escape.
A rousing . old-time republican majority in
Hamilton county enables Cincinnati to bear with
equanimity the crushing bankruptcy of the duke
of Manchester. Especially since the Zimmerman
fortune waa sot kidnaped with the heiress.
Of 7s
ffUVltfjCUl& W&
The opening bail of tha Apollo club waa success
fully given at Light Ouarda bail, with thla committee
tn oh area; C H. T. Riepea. W. J. Ward. J. A. Booth,
George i. Bternadorf, T. E. Jones, A. J. Eaton. R. F.
Fry. J. H. Kostsrs, H. J. lAiller. O. P. Burnett and
W. Sxetchley.
TTie Unity club listened, to a paper by Rev. w. E.
Cope land on Tbe Influence of Climate Upon Man,"
and an eaaay on "Buckle" by- W. 8. Curtis.
Work on tha expoalUoa building la progressing
rapidly, and completion la expected before Christmas,
Little Edna Cowtn, daughter of General Co win,
had her foot painfully caught by the elevator while
deaoeading to dinner at the Pax ton.
Mrs. M. Buxbauin and her daugbtar. Mra. D
Haalocker of Chicago, are vtaiting their daughter
and slater, aire. A. KeUer, Z3U 8t Mary's avenue.
. Madame Modjeaka and her hueband. Count
Boacnta. are a topping- at the Millard.
John Q. Will la and family, E. V. Smith and family,
aud 8. R. Brown and family are all leaving- for La
Anaelea.
V. O. Taylor, eupertntendent of tha Bradatreet
local agency, taa gone to St. Jaavph.
Hot Fire on Censorship.
The renoorsblp of neg is Mln under fire
in the IlritlKh Parliament, Ibis time itn critics
Lelng more numerous and the protests more
pointed and vigorous than heretofore. To people
in this country, the wonder Is, not that the
i.iethoda pursued by the censors h-e been
criticized, but that the Brttlnh public, which has
bfen arrnatomed to a free press, should have so
l.-ng submitted to tbe rlftors of the present sys
tem. I'atrlotlam dictates that Information of
poaMble benefit to the enemy should not only be
suppressed In the newspapers, but also excluded
from all channels through which the enemy
rrlcht obtain It. There ran be no question,
however, that the undue teal of the cehsor In
keeping dark what the public has a right to
know, has had its effect in creating; not only aa
apathetic sentiment among the British people?
but one of resentment as well. This is human
nature and the authorities who fall to recognize
It are making a ser'ous blunder and chancing
an upheaval which may sweep away the really
necessary censorship.
Progresi Preferable to Fads.
Thla early in the session of the State Teach
ers' association it Is apparent the teachers are
besieged as in tbe past with both faddists and
promoters with personal ends to subserve. The
ast majority of the teachers, of course, are com
posed of the common sense, practical sort, who
are really working along practical lines and who
realize on the one hand that while everything
that is new Is not a fad, neither Is everything
thst is new and plausibly presented necessarily
progress. If the vast majority were not men and
women with practical ideas seeking for real ad
vancement the gathering would be worse than
useless, but In the rush of a short session un
less everything Is put to the test of common
sense, the promoter will obtain Indorsement of
projects which the teachers themselves will later
realize are impractical or at best no Improve
ment over what they displace.
A l'WritetoYou-CongTelman, Formnla.
"Many a word said In jest is meant in
earnest," runs the time-worn, adage, but
whether meant in earnest or not, many a jest
carries a pointed lesson. Satirizing tbe "wrlte-to-your-congressman"
agitation on stereotyped
forms supplied by paid promotion agents, that
sprightly weekly, Life, suggests the following
as tbe best letter that could be so addressed:
Dear Sir: Aa you are doubtless aware, there will
be a aeaalon of congress In December. I want you to
conalder not going.
I was one of your constituents who voted for you.
Rome one, 1 thought, had to be elected, and Inasmuch
aa your name waa printed upon the ballot, I eaat my
vote for, you, although I had never heard of you be
fore peyona a neaa-nne or ao, ana anew aoaoiuieiy
nothing about your qualifications.
Thla, however. Is not what I mean just now.
But we have been running; along all aummer with
out any congreaa, and we've been doing fairly well.
Why not. therefore, do your ahareT Refuae to go
any more. If all the others will do llkewlae the effect
upon the country will be Incalculable.
I urge you to take this step at once. Don't go.
fSIQNATURK.)
It Is, perhaps, a little bit strong to ask the
congressman to forego his mileage and perquis
ites altogether, but if we should have a short
session Instead of a long session with corre
sponding curtailment ot legislative output, tha
thankfulness of a grateful constituency could
not be repressed.
Traffio Cong-eition Hampers Business.
Again the cry goes up that congestion ot
traffic Is retarding business expansion and
causing serious loss to shippers, the complaint
coming largely from the seaboard terminals.
Ever since the development of the present trans
portation system this has been the plaint and
the transportation companies have almost with
out exception taken pattern from the man with
the leaky roof, who said when it rained he
couldn't fix It and when it was not raining it
didn't need fixing. It does not require an expert
to see that with docks, trackage and freight
warehouses filled, extensions and construction
work are out of the question, as it would be a
case of confusion worse confounded. Railroad
directors, however, have grown into the habit
of requiring the managers to maintain as nearly
as possible a constant ratio of expenditures to
earnings, which, of course, makes it impossible
to do construction work on any large scale dur
ing periods of dull traffic. Holding operating
expenses to a basis of current earnings is good
business and with it no one can legitimately
complain, but outlay for permanent Improve
ments comes under a different heading.
Score One for the "Lid" Law.
The conviction ot a "Ud-llfter" after a full
Jury trial, carrying with it a revocation of the
license to sell liquor and disqualification to se
cure another license next year, glvca the lie to
the statement that no conviction can be had for
violation ot the liquor laws in Omaha. The of
fender in this particular esse may be the "goat."
but the lesson should not be lost upon the other
liquor dealers, who may be well advised that
there is such a thing as overstepping; the limit
and being "caught with the goods" without a
get-a-way. They may also be adviged that Omaha
has a city prosecutor now who will go through
when he starts, and la not to be scared or pulled
elf where the evidence is clear against a willful
effender.
After a long silence Colonel John P. Irish of
Iowa and Omaha memory Jumps from San Fran
clrco to New York to get out of hig system a
tpeech on the suffrage question. The colonel's
felicity of expression has modulated consider
ably since his Involuntary flight through the
transom of the Jacksonlan club with a flock ot
"gold traitors" during the rebellion ot '96.
Bank clearings for the last week of October
is a notable exhibit ot businesg expansion
throughout the country. Only four cities report
decreases, and these are ot minor consequence.
Omaha's showing of 27 per cent increase is a
gratifying feature of a striking financial record.
The country saved 190,000,000 last year by
vearlng out their old ahoes and passing up the
shoe shops. The figures carry the official stamp
ct the shoemakers and may be accepted as
definitely marking a-season of uncommon com
fort for human soles.
The sight ot three distinguished federal
judges sitting together here tor the trial of a
case ot more than usual importance, suggests
that some day not too distant Omaha should be
the permanent seat of a circuit court of appeals.
Fallacies About Blindness
Clarence Xawkes la the Outlook.
The writer waa Minded by an accident in 183.
THERE la probably no abnormal condition of life
ao little underalood and appreciated and about
which ao much that la erroneoua has been writ
ten aa that of blind neaa.
The very condition under which the Hind live
are ao ettreme and startling that there has gradually
been built up about them a world of fable and fancy
aa extravagant. If not as thrilling, aa the world of
fairy atorica.
It la to correct some of these erroneoua Ideaa, as
well aa to point out other facta which are little leas
remarkable, thoush truthful, that thla article Is
written.
I have had hundreda of people aak tn If I could
tell color by the ae nee of touch. How any eenalble
person could get the Idea that It la poaalble to tell
color from the aenae of touch la amazing. It Is prob
ably partly due to the fart that the public wants to
be eve all aorta of wild thlna-a about the blind, and
alao becaunn some blind folks, partly in fun and be.
cauae they like to aatonlah their friends, have prac
ticed a eort of magic at their expense. I knew a
blind horse dealer who could really tell the oolor o(
a horae by the sense of feeling, but the color Itself
had nothing to do with the feat. It was ail performed
through the fact that different colored horaes had
different textured coats. With some colore the hair
waa fine, while othera were coarse; some coats were
smooth and others rough. Moat blind people know
the colors of the common flowera. and when a friend
places a bouquet In your hand you are always able to
recognise the flower by either the perfume or the
touch, ao one can usually make a very good guess as
to the color, although In these days of new shades
and widely variegated flora even that little artifice
la rather dangeroua. '
It la also a very common question to have seeing
people ask the blind If they can tell the denomination
of different bills by the sense of touch, and many
folks have told me that they knew blind people who
could.
There la only one general rule concernlnsr bllla
that gives any clue at all as to their denomination,
and thla haa so many exceptions as to be entirely
worthless.
Rills larger than one dollar are usually printed
upon heavier paper than dollar bills or at least that
haa been my impression, but the Treasury department
might tell me that even that conclusion la erroneous.
Moat blind people carry a pocket book with several
compartments and keep their bllla of different denomi
nations in different oompartmenta, ao they know
where they are. In that way they can readily make
change and give the Impression that they can tell
bills by the sense of touch.
There are things that they can do by the sense
of touch which are even more remarkable, such as
threading a needle by placing the end of the thread
on tbe tongue and shoving the head of the nexlle along
until the thread la thruat through the eye, or replacing
delicate springs In a typewriter and keeping the ma
chine In order. I recently successfully adjusted the
reproducer on a graphonola which had become dis
cordant. This Is a very delicate piece of mechanism and
Its adjustment Is usually attempted only toy an expert.
It would seem almost as wonderful for one without
the sense of sight to trace the margin on a printed
page of a book or newspaper to feel where the type
leave oft and the un printed page begins. Tet I can
do that, while I have known blind people who would
read raised print through four thicknesses of a silk
handkerchief, or play a piano with a spread placed
over the keyboard.
To tell the weight of paper In ream lots within five
or ten pounds merely from feeling one sheet would
seem to call for a very expert sense of touch, yet that
la possible, as well as to tell much about the texture
and quality of the paper and how It was prepared
for book use.
It Is probably dnw as much to the extravagant
things that have been written about them aa to the
rather harmless practices of the blind people them
selves that so many erroneous statements have got
abroad.
Twice Told Tales
Aa Excellent Example.
A venerable cltlsen of the Straddle Ridge neighbor
hood entered a lunch room in Polkvllle, Ark., dragging
after him a gander-necked, lop-eared youth.
"What kind o" pie have ye got yere?" he asked
of the brisk waitress.
"Peach apple mince raisin punk's Ape root
lemon blackb'ry and cokernut-custard!" she an
swered with considerable rapidity.
"'Ptu! which V returned the old follow.
The young lady repeated the Hat with still greater
speed.
"Please say that over ag'ln, if you'd Jest as llv"
requested the ancient man.
"Bay, lookee here!" demanded the waltresa "Can't
you understand anything?"
"Oh, yea rn; I understand, all right!" He turned
to the lop-eared youth. "There, now, Emimett!" he
triumphantly aatd. "You see It s Jest as I told you;
a person kin talk aa faat as he pleases without stut
terln'. If he'll only take keer!" Judge.
Cowpalaory Volunteering;.
Senator Beveridge said the other day In Washing
ton: "Women In England today hand white feathera to
young men who haven't volunteered. These young
men are booed In the streets and theaters. A young
Englishman out of uniform Is apt to be called a
coward by every pretty girl who paeses.
"Undw these circumstances the Dngllsh volunteer
system reminds me of the Bolivian general who set
out on a recruiting expedition. He wanted volunteers
to put down a rebellion. Well, after he had been gone
about a week he aent the war office thla telegram:
" 'Volunteer spirit splendid. Am forwarding by
steamer 150 volunteers. Please return the handcuffs.' M
Washington Star.
Aimed at Omaha
Fremont Herald: Omaha, whose creameries turn
out more butter In a single day than Elgin. 111.,
creameries turn out In a week, permits Elgin to dictate
the price paid for butter and also at what price It shall
be sold. Omaha dubbed along for many years as a
secondary grain market untU Is asserted Itself and
Jumped Into the position of third grain market of the
world. Omaha needa a butter exchange where prices
may be fixed Independent of any other town on earth.
Nebraaka City Preas: The Preas la glad to note
that, at this writing, at loast one Omaha newspaper
has dented that It received any pay for Its "Billy"
Sunday extlclea. The Bee emphatically denlea tha
rumor which haa beon given prominence by the Fre
mont Tribune, tbe Preas and a few other atate
papera. The Bee's denial la emphatlo and. Inaofar as
this paper Is concerned, sufficient. We take Mr. Rose,
water's word for it that hta newspaper did not share
In the dtatrtbution of any of "Billy" Sunday's wealth
Ws only regret that It did not. because for what the
Omaha newspapcra did for the evangelist aud hla
"cause" they should have been paid. They not only
printed the news, but they also gave splendid publicity.
Beatrice Expreaa: Aa Omaha saloon haa Just been
closed by the city commissioners because the pro
prietors were convicted of violating the I o'clock clos
ing law, tha conviction ooourring in what Mayor Jim
terms the court of "a two-by-four police Judge." After
all. Sunday's vtelt to the Nebraska metropolis ap
pears to havs stirred up some of the residents of that
city.
Nebraaka City Press: The "Sawdust Slide" Is tbe
name of a new dance, evolved and labeled by an
Omaha dancing master. One gueae as to tbe origin.
Here, a Volunteer.
HART1NOTOV, Neb., Nov. 1 To the
Editor of The Bee: Replying to the
Item In your paper about the ajtel
woman from O1bton. Neb., In New Tork.
I. as an old settler of Nebraska, will
give tl If I,') other aettlers will give
the same to save her home.
LON L.TDICK.
Boaejaet for The Bee,
ROSALIE. Neb , Nov. . To the Editor
of The Bee. We send you herewith
resolution adopted by our Brotherhood:
Whereas, The Methodl Brotherhood of
tbe Rnsalle Methodist Ep.scopal church,
of Rnaitlie, Nell., see fit to commend The
Omaim Hee fur the Christian spirited
rnitnner in whlrh they published the itn
i nrti il facts In the iccent "B lly'' Sun
dnv tampagn In Omaha.
Thcrtfon be It ItcKolved. That the
hcariMt thanka of this nire Brother
hood be txtended to '1'he Bee.
And be It Further Helved. That this
resolution be sent to The Be and a copy
be spread on tbn Journal of th s society.
RKV. H. C. BURROWS,
W. W. REED,
PROF. R. M. INBODT,
Committee.
Different Views of Hell.
OMAHA, Nov. 3.-To the Editor of The
Bee: Now that Rev. William A. Sun
day has departed from our midst and
the temporary hysteria which has af
fected in the last seven weeks some
of our leading prominent citizens nnd
business men haa subsided to a large de
gree. It may not be amiss to say a few
words here about the man that Omaha
has entertained for nearly two months.
Far be It from ..ie to attempt to dis
credit or belittle any real good that Mr.
Sunday might have done In this cam
paign. If he has helped some poor devil
to permanent turn to a better life, he
la to be commended for that, but do the
people and clergy of Omaha really ap
prove and commend the language and
tactics used by this evangelist? Do the
clergy of this city believe that their
cause can be helped by a man who
vHUflea and Insults those who happen to
disagree with him, a man who seeks to
Implant In the Innocent minds of chil
dren the Infamous dogma of a livid,
burning, realistic hell? Do they ap
prove of his slanderous, vulgar attacks
upon our school board, consisting of
some of our most distinguished and
prominent cltlxens, who are devoting
their time and energy, without com
pensation, for the betterment of our
schools and our community, and who
simply did their plain duty in regard to
hla Insolent and Impudent attempt to
force his way Into our public schools?
I wonder what the people of Omaha
would do to me, or any other common
everyday cltlsen of Omaha, If he got up
in a public place and applied the same
coarse epithets to Robert Co well, a man
of sterling character and integrity!
What is this country coming to, allowing
such a man, using language condemned
by all decent people as vulgar and un
couth, to run rampant villlfylng and
trying to blacken the character of honest.
courageoua men whom he cannot bull
doze and banboozle Into swallowing his
propaganda.
Ills awful doctrine of hell haa caused
more unhapplnesa, more strife, made
more Insane than all other causes com
bined. Suppose that the wife and fam
ily of "Billy" Sunday boneatly differed
with him on their Interpretation of the
Bible. Suppose they honeatly doubted
the claim that Its authors were inspired,
refused to believe Its miracles and child
ish stories. They all pass away and
"Billy" takes his "reserved" seat in
heaven while Qod consigns the woman
he loved, the kind sweet mother who
had borne him children, the dutiful and
loving wife and the children to the
eternal torments of hell. Could ''Billy"
rest content and happy in paradise,
knowing full well that bis wife and
family were suffering Indescrlbaoie tor
tures In hell?
How much more humanity, love and
kindness there is In Ingersoll's view of
hell: "I honestly believe the doctrine
of holl waa born in the glittering eyea
of snakes that run In frightful colls
watching for their prey. I believe it was
born In the yelping and howling and
growling and snarling of wild beasts. I
believe it waa born In the grim of hye
nas and in the malicious chatter of
depraved apes. That doctrine was born
of revenge and brutality on the one side
and cowardice on the other. I have
no respect for the man who believes
It or who preaches it. I have no respect
for the man who will pollute the Imag
ination of a child with that infamoua
lie. I despise It; I defy it; I hate it, and
when the great ship freighted with the
world goes down in the night of death,
chaos and disaster. I will not be guilty
of the Ineffable meanness of pushing
from my breast my wife and children
and paddling off In some orthodox canoe.
I will go down with those I love and
with thoae who love me. I will go down
with the ahtp and with my race. I will
go where there la aympat'.y. I will go
with those I love. Nothing can make
me believe that there is any Being thst
is going to burn and torment and damn
hla children forever."
I ask readers, regardlesa of beliefa,
which. In their honest opln'on. Is ths
grander, the kinder, the aubluner, the
one seeking to propagate and Impreaa
upon emotional and Innocent minda thla
terrible Inhuman doctrTne. or the other,
who succeeded, to such a marked degree.
In freeing humanity from the bondage
of thla frightful doctrine?
WALTER ROSICKY.
1701 South Twelfth street.
Only Two Political Parties.
OMAHA. Nor. t-To the Editor of The
Bee: There are at thla time but two real
renulne political parties, namely, demo
cratic and republican. Of course, other
partlea have butted In and are In the
aoup for years to come, and generations
will pass before they will be recognised.
Hence the late progressive rarty Is now
desd-forever. j. M. 8. BANKS.
Here and There
"He aa haa gita." A banker at Watson
villa. Cel.. haa fallen heir to a fortune of
HOO.000 left by a Canadian uncle, who
was a recluae and lived on 30 cenU a day.
Women will replace the lTO.Ouo farm
workers who have been called to the
front In England, Scotland and Walts.
The Congregational union for woman
suffrage annbuucea that It will take a
hand In the next republican national con
vention. Two young women, expert swimmers,
daahed Into tha water from the North
Klde beach at Chicago, pushed through
stormy waves for a quarter of a mile
and reacued two men clinging to an over
turned rowboat. The chlvalrlo honor of
rescue la no lonser monopolised by man,
but the romance of the rescue who can
tell?
Tips on Home Topics
SUNNY GEMS.
The mmeness of these meals Is getting
I we,
Washington Tost: One Important dif
ference between grnnd opera and the
movies is that the latter are self-i nport
ing. Pt. iouls Globe-lemncrat: The presi
dent's Improved appearance may be due
to the fact that somebody else is picking
his ties now.
Boston Transcript: After giving up
VXO.mJO.ouO to. the allies, Mr. J. P. Morgan
probably regarded parting with his ap
pendix bs comparatively simple.
Indliinapolis News: It seems that the
country's shoe bill decreased j:vV00
this year, but a glance at the kind the
girls are wearing In the street nowadays
shows that It wasn't their fault.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: An Omaha doc
tor seriously suggested to a medical
convention in Iowa that children should
be exposed to contagious diseases so
that a race of Immuncs might be built
u-p. Why not try it first on the
grownups?
Philadelphia ledger: The United ftates,
alone among the powers, haa no opinion
to express concerning the change from
republic to monarchy In China, It la a
long way back to the days of John Hay,
and the policies for which he stood have
Apparently been forgotten.
Louisville Courier-Journal: A special
committee of the American Electric Street
Railway association haa condemned the
Jitney bua and solemnly reported that it
cannot aurvlve. It seems to be the gen
eral opinion of the members of this as
sociation that nothing and nobody should
survive that dispute In any way the street
cars' rights to monopolize the streets.
Chicago Herald: The respectful way
In which other nations heard us in lv'!.
when we had 1,000,6 battle-hardened
soldiers and the most powerful steam
fleet on the seas. Is commended to the
consideration of persons who hold that
all other nations will be so "exhausted"
after the European war as to relieve
Us from any need of a better defense.
on my nerves.
"1 ant think of anything else,
hla m-ttA
"You're strong for new style In shoes
hats and the ways of fixing the hnlr.
Alnt there ncer any new styles in eat
ables?" Louisville Courier-Journal.
Wife-Mrs. Brooks ys society la hol
lowthat there lsn t anyth.mr In It.
H tshsnd Well, there isn't anj tht'ig "J
anything nowadays, my dear. If you
don't put something In it. JuU;e.
Katherlne-As lonir as you say yovl
undenolnnd the language of the flowers,
w hat .lees this bum h of American Beauty
roses si' ?
Kidder That a fool and his money
are soon parted. Brooklyn Citizen.
"Ts your husband going to be a can
didate?1 asked one woman,
i don't know, ' replied the other.
' Ho says he Is in the hands o. his
'''That's John, all over. Always trying
to put the responsibility on somebody
else! "Washington Star.
THE HEAVING CHEST.
W. K. Maxwell, in Judge.
Whiles in a Jitney show I sit
And watch the fleeting drayma nit.
With wonderment I am possessed
To note the leading lady's chest. ,
Whatever cards the fates may deal-
It may be woe. or may be weal
With passionate, dramatic zest.
The leading lady heavea her oheat.
If It should threaten in mo piov .
That she must shoot, or else be shot.
When one hand clutches at her breast
The leading lady heaves her chest.
Or should the rent collector call
And grimly camp within the hall.
Mlladv shows that she's distressed ,
by labored heavlngs of the chest.
Or yet again, if it should chance
The hero falls and tears hla pants.
Ere starting on a needle quest
The lady halts and heaves her chest. .
And when her troubles all are past
When true love claims Its own at last
She snuggles to her lover's vest
And pelts him with a heaving chest.
.. . I
l, unvot.
I love the tilstrlonlo art,
Wlih Jits ungrudgingly I parti
Hut, prince, I'm yearning for a rest
From oonstant heaving of the chest.
ETm 1 ''i'i'fiMiW'f''ffV'"L ea
4M
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ly to be really succcessful.