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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 22, 1915)
"r THE BEE: OMAHA, Fill DAY, OCTOBER 11)15. it t: 5 f ! (1 ? 11 3 ! M ; 4 i THE OMAHA DAILY BEE rot'NPfD BY ED v. A HOSKWATER. VICTOR ROSEWAVEI.. -.'LUTOH. Fy mall prr year. I (14 4 0 to 4.00 Tae Pee Publishing Company Proprietor. PFE BPILPINU. FAHNAM AND 8KVf:NTENTIi. ICrtared at Omth postoiflre sercnd-clss matter. TKKM3 Or eoUSCJtIPTK)N. Hy earner per month. riafhy anfl Sunday... . pally without rWin.lay....' ffo... FVentrig end flunks? "e... rrvrnin without eunuM mo Similar He only aw i-OO Pend notlr of rhar.ge of address cr complaints of 1nHilnrlty la delivery te Omaha Pee, Circulation Department. REMITTANCE. INnnU T draft. rre'a or postal order. Only two. cont stamp received In payment of amall ae eounts. rersnnal checks, esrept on Omaha and eastern xenaage, nol scoepted. OKK1CKS. . Omaha The Bee ll(ling. oath Omaha Zit N street. Council Fluffs 14 North Mala afreet. I InIn M Little Tnjllrflng. Cbk-sgo in Hearst Huiuilng. f'ew Tork Room 111, "6 r Ifth avenue. Pt. I .mile- MS New Hank of Commerce. Washington 7 Fourteenth gt.t W. CORRESPONDENCE. Jkddrees communications reJstln' to Mwi end eat loriai matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial DepartmsBt. SEITEMHEK ClUCtXATIO. 54,663 Ctat of Nebraska. County of Douglas, Ml Dwlirht Mllllnma. circulation manager of Tha Fa Pvbliahlng company. Uln duly sworn, says that tha average circulation lor tt month of gepuiiuber, Ult, wa fci.tva. L WIGHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager. Bubscrlied In my presence and aworn to befor tna. till 1st dav of October. 1316. HOBEHT HUNXh.il, Notary Publle, Subscribers leaving the city temporarily should have Tbe Bee mailed to them. Ad dress will be changed aa often aa requested. r October aa Thought for the Day In tht man vhote childhood hat known care fcr is alwayt a Abr of memory that can 6s touched to yenllti Gtorf E.iot. 1 Look! as It "Billy" were getting hit old-time, base running speed once more. "Crime wave.'? and "aulclde epidemics" for come Inscrutable reason seem to go together. The prospect of escaping more war taxes In this" peaceful neutral land Is as elusive as rain bow chasing In midsummer. The longer he Is out of the cabinet the more Mr. Bryan has to say In criticism of the Wilson administration and less In praise of It. The Bryan pole knocked the Lincoln post effice persimmon. It is reasonable to suppose, therefore, that the senator will have undisputed dominion over the Nasby Job In Omaha. MiSS American battleships off Vera Crux signal ized the recognition of Carranta by firing a salute to the Mexican flag presumably return ing the salute which Huerta neglected to give. ..,? i. 'ju':" The pew municipal judges evince at the out- ret a comprehensU graP Pf essentials.. , They have looked the pay-roll in the face, and finding It responsive and healthy, now seek working quarters. The mystery of the whereabouts of General Von Kluck Is solved. He is recovering from battle wounds, and like fistic champions of old believes he has several more fights In his sys tem.' Hoch, Von Kluck! President Wilson sounds the keynote of Joy In hie Thanksgiving proclamation. Governors are at liberty to follow, but their warbllngs, tor obvious reasons, cannot reach the ragtime dig nity of "something Just as good." As the American flag lo being furled on the merchant marine of the raciflc, Secretary Red field sounds an optimistic note cf an early re turn. Some minds are so constituted as to view a commercial funeral as a political Joy ride. , "Why a detective force?" If that Question Is pertinent to Omaha, it must be equally so In every other city of any siie. But if the question were asked in New York, Chicago or Kansas City, folks would think the silly season were on. British newspapers are handing out solemn truths to their readers. The old Idoa that some how the nation "will muddle through" Is hope lessly shot up, and the newspapers render a good service In bringing home that disagreeable fact. St. Louis Is In the game for tbe two big na tional president-nominating conventions. It Is our guess that our democratic friends, who are talking about entering Omaha, wilt find a much more formidable rival in Bt. Loiils than In Dallas. Judicial strategy marks the latest move of tbe government against the shoe machinery trust. The government realises from ' recent knockouts that midwest courts are freer from the Influences of environment than the Judiciary .f the Atlantic coast. V J - '-.: 0- a f 4 i- if if in Father I'JgKe .delivered an lulereatttig and Inatrut tlva lec-tuta at Cr'lhlon college on tha aubjevt, ' Hy drogea, the Queen l.lemtnl." Tbe Goodyear Rubber Manufacturing company wlU open a branch eatubltahment heie. occupying ono of the alor-a In the old Hinlth eetaMUhment. Tha realdtnce of Q. W. In ane was tha scene of a very pleasant old folka- party. An Item frotu tlie Chl-go News la quoted to the effect that Wne. U'-dJeaka'a Son, llalph alodjeako, has received dispensation to tnairy h'a couiln and the weddti.s will be calibrated In leinir. Mr. Mod leeka la now Iri Oiiifcha. where he will make his homo. C C. Hou.el. a fo.-inar resident of Omaha, now of Chicago, U vmltlng here. ' Contract tur hat la known aa grading; llarnoy Street wai awarded to K. U. Callahan at 15 centa a yard. It ci!a fur moving about cutlc arda of earth. Harney from Keventecnth to Twentieth, on 8 riteei:th fivhi nurii' y lo, Howard, on Kightoenth froiO 'arnum to liota-d. on Niiutuvnlh from rarnara It llarney, on Tntk.th fruiit Ksrnain to Howard. ' Mr. aid W'. H. 11. Moie, who have been Vtaltlng Omaha tfKDtla, hav u turned to their home la tiouS Putting Fresiare on Greece. If the Quadruple Entente carries out an nounced Intentions, Greece Is to be forced to de risre for one or the other sides In the wsr with out unnecessary delay. It is in a measure vi tally Important to the Allies that such a declara tion ba ruado. The progress of the war has tirned another side of European diplomacy to view, and the world Is now getting an oppor tunity to examine some of the things that were closely hidden a few months ago. The Russian foreign minister says "the Allies are Justified In the adoption of any measures to prevent their enemies from tsklng advantage of the neutral position of a third power." That Is Just about Mhat Germany did when It opened fire on th Polglsns at Liege, which action Is assigned as the cause for England's entering the war. The neutrality of Greece has already been outraged by the landing of troops at Ralonlkl, and It seems very certain this policy will continue. ' Scraps of paper" have little weight In Europe Just now, when not supported by mighty force. If Greece Is driven Into the war it will be small credit to the diplomacy that haa pretended to support order and enlightenment. Detectives. The eyes of the community have been fo cvsed by recent happenings In Omaha upon the police department, and particularly upon the detective service, which some of the critics sug gest should be altogether abolished. Now there are detectives and detectives, smart detectives and lunk-head detectives, efficient detectives and loafers on tha job, Just as there doubtless are the same several kinds in other branches of the department. For a police force, however, the detectives correspond with the scouts and secret agents for the army, and no one would propose to do away with the reconnolssance and Investigation corps in a military campaign. If there Is a city anywhere in the world that main tains a police force without detectives, we have never heard of it. ' Omaha's bunch ot detectives may be excessive in number we are Inclined to think it Is and it, may need regeneration. It Is not abolition of the detective force, though, that we want, but detectives with some "pep" In them, detectives who are not required to waste all their time on trivialities, and who can show results In the bigger and more serious things that make up the criminal calendar. rindfn Job for "Met." When our old friend Richard L. Metcalfe was made civil governor of the Panama Canal Zone, we all thought he had landed In his niche and wished blm well, but unfortunately the berth was not long lasting. Now comes the Lin coln Star proposing to solve the problem by finding "Met" a Job as ambassador to Mexico, which he certainly could fill at least as well as some others who have held down that assign ment. The only possible objection that might bo urged Is that "Met" has been In the service cf Carranza for hire and la a way instrumental In securing his recognition by our government, vhich, therefore, Is no objection at all, since It only goes to prove that he earned his money. Republics are proverbially ungrateful, which be sotting sin sometimes also attaches to tha democracy. But If "Met", has something more coming to him 'we hope he gets it, for we know ha could carry the title "ambassador" Just ai gracefully as that of "governor." Just ai a Matter of History. Rev. William Ashley Sunday, D. D., says when Jesus began his ministry, Rome ruled the world; Editor George Horace Lorlmer points out that at that time Rome had a standing army of but 300,000. and 'with that force held in I check the populous old empires on the east, and the burbarous hordes on the west. Now, thirty millions of men are under arms throughout the world, and most of them are actively fighting in the trenches. What effect has religion had on the destiny of man, If this spectacle Is to be taken as a test? No pagan world ever viewed the sights that Christianity ga.es upon today, Man Is still far below the angela in his na ture, and always la in need ot the support ot moral teachings and precepts. Philanthropists have labored In all ages to inculcate the lessons that tend to the establishment of peace and har mony in the world, the brotherhood of man and the fatherhood of God, and yet the hope of peace is hope deterred. The condition ot war Is uot a true teat for the efficacy of religion of ny sort, but the spectacle of Christian nations in battle array Is not an especially strong argu ment by which to aupport the claims of the creeds. It la not a religious war, for all shades ot religion are seen in the ranks of the rigbters, and no religion at all, but tha fact that tbe war Is going on proves there Is a flaw in the scheme somewhere. Of No Particular Interest. A student at a California university laya claim to the distinction, It such there be, of having established a record for the voluntary suspension of respiration. Just what honor should attach to this feat Is not easily de termined, but perhaps it should be accorded Mm as a pioneer In a little traveled field of. shall we aay athletic, endeavor. He haa also opsned up a vista down which may be faintly perceived something of an expansion of the col lege athletic program of the future. A contest In suspended respiration may he added to the regular card of athletic events. Professors will rrobably testify that the suspension of cerebra tlon la more commonly practiced, with quite as useful results. However this may be, not a great deal ot attention will be paid to the teat. tut If the young man had made a record at holding his tongue, Instead of his breath, he might have given the world a useful example. With all that wonderful Bhowlng ot profit from the operation of the municipal water plant, the uneecspable logic la that too much money is being taken out of the pockets of tha people, either In needless tax levies or in ex ctslve water rates. Water-users would ap I reclate a real reduction in their bills much more than an Increase la an ornamental surplus. Making the "Movies" Literary Digest. THE whole universe, or aa much of It aa he can reach, la enlisted by tha latter-day "movie-' di rector as his ally, for no part of the world Is free from hla Invasion If he acta out to find the neces sary and proper background for hla 'story. When a town does not edt ha builds It for hlmaelf, aa wa see by the description of lucevllle. In California, writ ten by Henry MacMahon for the New York Benlng l'net Five or all years ago, as he reminds us, pic. ture-maklng was done with tha aid of a few score ot costumea, aa many properties, a couple of Interior seta, and a few hundred dollars' worth of equipment to be set up In prepared locations. "Now, however, the producer feels the necessity of putting forth a product aa accurate, artistic, and atmospherlo as any thing presented by literature or drama." The curl oslty of the public can be enlisted by estraordlnary efforts; but the producer muat be on his guard against anachronisms, since the public's sense of historical values has grown with his avidity for the remote, the foreign, the blsarre, and the curious. Inccvlllo haa everything," declares Mr. MacMahon; "Palaces and cottages; an enormous transportation de partment; a farm, a navy, a wild west ranch, a com missary, an electric plant and sea-water pumping station, Ecole des rtoatia Arts for otl and water-color, a dressmaking establishment, a department of mili tary engineering, sappers, miners and pioneers for the battle plecea; a library and a museum, aids of the official historians and antiquarians; a carpentry and cabinet shop for the targe Indoor construction these are Just a few of the establishments I noticed In a rapid survey of the ground. "This village lies In a canon that debouches down to tha Parlflo ocean about four miles north of Banta Monica. It has no connection with tha outside world except a very bad and dusty coast road over which automobiles and horse vehicles travel all day long. There Is a saying you can get anything you want at Inceville, for Its activities are as complete aa tha mod ern city, despite the fact that It possesses only a few hundred Inhabitants. The overhead expense of run ning Incevlllo Is about tha same as that of running a great dally newspaper. A dosen productions axe under way at once. "While I was walking on the beach In front of the canon, I noticed several pirate ktnga stealing one of Mr. Tom Ince's beautiful heroines who had unwisely gone to take a dip In tha surf. They loaded her Into a life boat, and half-a-dosen- pairs of arms shoved It Into the Taclflo while the rattle of musketry played around from the horo up on the cliff who was trying to stop thera without killing hla unfortunate bride. Going to the hilltop, I saw great cavalcades of cowboy headed by the redoubtable W. S. Hart, whom soma folk will remember aa the erstwhile hero of 'Ben Hur' of the legitimate stage, and then as Cash Hawkins In 'Tha Squaw Man.' "Out over the crest ot the ridge was Blllie Burke riding a pony straight-saddle and acoompanled by Thomas II. Ince, William H. Thompson, and others on their way to a mountain cabin supposed to ba placed In the highlands of Scotland. In another part of the grounds was Katheiine Kaelred busily 'vamper Ing House Peters, who was slipping from the grasp of Clara Williams. In his studio-enclosures proper, actors were making up for expeditions In 'India,' China the 'European War-Front,' and tha Days ot Chivalry.' " Only Self-Discipine N' flaw Tork World. OT enough attention has been given to tha ex tension of military training not as a war meas ure but as a domestic reform. With an adequate navy wa do not greatly have to fear what any other nation can do to us. But, navy or no navy, we do have to fear what wa can do to ourselves. The World certainly yields to none In its aupport of the personal liberty of our cltlaens. But we believe that, to te a blessing, personal liberty must go nan In hand with personal discipline; that when.lt fails to do this It Immediately tends to degenerate Into Irresponsible license. '; " ' - ' Tha chief test of Individual freedom Is Its capacity for voluntary self-subordination. It Is the display of that capacity which makea republican France so glorious today. It is the absence ot that capacity which makes men shake their heads over England's future. But surely no clear-sighted American can delude himself into imagining that self -discipline Is an Ameri can virtue ot today. Spoiled by misguided parents, undisciplined by Im potent school teachers, our 'tendency Is to grow up Into self-wlllod men and self-indulgent women. Man handled by poverty or mollycoddled by wealth, tha tendency Is everywhere tha same; Intolerance ot au thority, contempt for obedience, aversion to laws, la- difference to rules, and worship of self. We remain aeated to the mualc of our national anthem, remain covered at tha paaslng of our na tional flag. We are unquestionably still patriots, but we are becoming slightly paunchy patriots who need a course of stiff training to tone up our systems. We wish that the 4O0.O0Q continentals that Secretary Garrison's plan contemplates could be 4,000,000. Four million men from dudes to dock hands, reabsorbed Into our dally life, who had learned that prompt bodily and mental obedience to orders docs not constitute humiliation and that self-dlaclpllne Is compatible with self-respect, would ba a splendid army for use not primarily against fore'gn forces, but against American weaknesses. Twice Told Tales President Wilson has nothing on Ms former secretary ot state In a test of relative Influence for suffrage. Colonel Bryan made speeches for the women ta Nebraska and the amendment waa beaten by tea thousand. The president Came out lor suffrage In his home state of New Jersey and the proposition was beateu by nearly sixty thousand. No Laager Reaaoaalsle. The dangers of travel by sea at this time have played havoc with the nerves of timid passengers. Early one morning recently there waa considerable commotion on the decks ot a coastwise vessel plying between Savannah and Baltimore, when a scantUy clad man hurried from hla state room and dashed to ward tha upper deck. On the way he ran Into the captain ot the vessel. "What's the matter, captain T' he managed to gasp, "Have we been torpedoed?" "Calm yourself, my dear sir. and be prepared for the worst," answered the official. "Oh, don't tell me we're going down!" moaned the other. "Quick, where are tha Ufa preservers T" "They wouldn't be ot any service at this stage?" explained the captain. "Too late?" quavered the despairing passenger. "Tea." said the captain, very solemnly. "We've done all we can for you. You'll have to look out tor yourself from now on. You see, we've Just tlel up to the dock." New York Times. Very Real is tie. Governor James K. Fielder ot New Jersey smiled when reference was made to realism. He said he re called an IncMent that happoned In a little country church. ' One Sunday nltfht the good pareon ot the aforesaid church chose "Hades" for his theme, and even as he eloquently discoursed an absent-minded member of the congregation began to toy with a nickel-plated match safe. Finally the matches caught fire and the the same was neceeaarlly dropped to tha floor and covered wtth a large foot. "It la wonderful, Mary," whispered an elderly woman to a friend in the seat ahead of the match- playing parishioner. "It Is simply wonderful I" "I suppose you mean the pastor's remarks, Sarah." responded the other In a subdued voice. "Yes." answered the first, gently sniffing tha sulphur-scented air, "I have heard Brother White preach maay a sermon, but none so reallstlo as this." Philadelphia Telegraph. His by Right. An Irish chauffeur In San Franclaco who had been having trouble with numerous small boys in the neigh borhood of his stand discovered one day on examining his car that there was a dead cat on one of the seats la his anger be was about to throw the carcass Into the street, when he espied a poUcenian. Holding up the carcass, he exclaimed: "This la how I am Insulted. What am I to do with It?" Well, don't you know? Take It to headquarters and If It Is not claimed within a month It becomes your X II we Better Mfkllsc First. OMAKA. Oct. 21-To the Editor ot The Bee: After an absence from the city of almost a4x years I now return to Omaha (my home) and find the olty looking larger, snappier and more metropolitan In the downtown section than many cities twice Ita slxe In the east. There le an air of prosperity about the city and the people I meet. But anywhere within ten minutes tide from tha postofflce I can easily forget that I am In a metro politan city of the first class. In fact it la hard to Imagine that 1 am In a city at all. It appears more like the outskirts of a small country town than the very heart ot a big city. The lighting system In Omaha Is so grossly Inadequate that a comparison with ether cltlee of Ita class and smaller - la foolish. The lurking shadows are enough to scare a man of the strongest heart and Iron nerve. To permit such a condition to exist Is with out reason or logic Tha lighting system In this city has not been Improved to keep pace with tha growth of Omaha. Is it any wonder that men of vicious character come to Omaha to perpetrate their atrocities? The dark poorly lighted streets and sidewalks and boulevards af fords them every opportunity to hide their features successfully and thus escapa Identification. Holdups and similar crimes are committed In other cities as well, but the perpetrators are more easily and definitely Identified when captured. The dark streets must be a continual invi tation to the holdup man to attempt his viclousnese. Well, what's to be done when such a condition exists. The plan the city fathers hit upon Is this: To create the position of "city forester" and pray what would his duties be? To trim the trees In his back yard? In Washington, D. C, the streets are lined with trees, there are no dark places as In Omaha, The city Is pro perly and adequately lighted. There la no necessity for a city forester. What we want Is more lights and street lamps. Tako the money that a city forester would get annually; add to that the cost of his equipment, assistants, and materials, etc., and Install more lights with that money. Don't blame the police department for not apprehending the criminals who per petrate holdupa and smaller crimes. How can you expect tha police to do anything If they haven't even a reasonably definite description of the criminal? J. J. FRIEDMAN. For Illrn Tkoaath Not Union Member OMAHA, Oct a. To the Editor of The Bee: In reply to "Anxious Enquirer" and others who are worried about the stand ing of Max Desettel In the Omaha labor movement, I wish to state that the "card men" are uneasy simply because Max Desettel Is doing things for the Omaha labor movement. The real union men of Omaha are for Max Dexettel and the Omaha Unionist. Omaha will soon be a real union town In spite of the opposition of certain "card men." Aa for myself, I am glad that a union man like Max fesenei is here In Omaha. I wish had mora like him. KARL A. KRUMM. President of Moldera' Union No. 190. Peace fr Nebraska's Capital. Kearney, Neb.. Oct ai.-To the Editor , of The Bee: Of the German American Alliance In session at Omaha declaring the state capltol at Lincoln a disgrace to Nebraska, It is Just as W. F. BeJIey says: It haa settled two and a half Inches, and Is parUy rotten from the roof to the foundation, and I believe It was built partly by prison labor. The stone in the bulldlna Is cracked front top to bottom. When this stata was first onened tin for settlement those moneyed men got it Into their heads that this state would never be broken up except along the Platta river, and they might as well have the capital located m Lancaster county, and hold It there. But now tha state la broken up from east to west and Is get ting pretty well settled. In my travels from Omaha to Cheyenne. In viewing the different counties along the Platte river. there are three in for the location of the capital. If It should come to a vote for capital removal, I would aay to the people along the Union Pacific to locate It on tha heights of Buffalo county, where all the people can view It aa they pass from east to west. The rising young generation will get a chance to view the capltol If they should travel through the state. This la the second nearest the center of the state. Broken Bow is about the center of tha state and Buffalo county will come next to It. I am getting to be quite old, but that is where It ought to be. It I were av young man I would vote tor It along the Union Pacific Mr. Editor, yox w It please print this for the benefit of the people of this state, so I can re id It !n The Bee. I am a reader of The Bee and , an old republican, too. X. Y. 'rertall Tkl, Catastrwpke. OMAHA, Oct M.To the Editor of The Bee: As the "BlUy" Sunday campaign draws to a fitting close, we are growing concerned up her on Sherman avenue for fear the "hand that grips the trail hitter" will fall In drawing the members of our elty commission along the blessed sawdust path of righteousness. We have watched with' strained eyea and wildly palpitating hearts for nearly seven long weeks for this consummation. It seemed our last, lingering hope for Omaha's re demption. For tew of us have any doubts that U Mayor "Jim" and the rest hit the trail It will be a certain sign that the millennium la close at hand. And IV aa "Billy" says. Christ la l.kely to ap pear at any hour and bodily anatrh the rlghteoua up through the regions of space Into eternal glory, what a Joy It will be for Omaha about the time of the next city election, to sea the rrayor and all his satellites suddenly rise up ward and Moat away irom our sat forever, either to heaven or to Sheridan, Wyo.T Mr. . Editor, If I thought It wou'd n any way tend to hasten this halcyon event in our midst I would gladly pre sent Miss Saxe with the furry fiend In feline form I mean the caeophnoua, oatabolU-al chorlater whoa caWihonlo cat-harplngs and canticles alleviate the long and tedlus hours of night In thta vicinity. la spite of brick-bats and other missiles, at least seven of hla nin Uvea are still Intact, and I feel that tit i rallsthenlc capers would rv.l those of the evangelist h.mself at the Tabernacle and entrance the audience to the versa of eatalepay. Miss Saxe would delight In his catacouatla rendition of "Brighten the Corner," and the other tnmatea of that great hotel being a Lyal bun-h would surely "rise up (in the middle of the night) and call hint blese.d!" If I send him dowa there to Ml a long-feit need. 1 must Insist that Mtaa Saxe ta e him away with her when she leaves Omaha. I should decidedly object to being awakened some Bight next wt : by a voice on the kitchen roof st-r- wauling mournfully and T nnyi .nl,n:jr: "Oh, the tender grace of a day that Is dead Will never come back to me!" j Anyway, he Is fitted to 1 e the masot of the Sunday party wherever they -naV pitch their tabernacle In th a w.ld rn ss of sin. By mental and prophetic catopels, X foresee that th s particular tomcat ,s i destined, through the processes of evolu tion and unfoldment to be an evHn e'!t after "Billy s" own special brard. In some far-off . manvenUra. Thanks to the Immutable workings ot the g eat law that the time Is at II some cycles hence. Two of them In the present man vantara would tend to disrupt the whole universe and cause there who bel.eve Li the universal brotherhood of man Inl to sigh for Pralaya to come quick. y. My cardiac nerves are un trung at "J. very conception of sjch a d.fa. er. I hasten to lay the cat as a free-ill fare well offering at the feet of Ml s Saxe, the rat-lover, to be used in fu.thelng the Billy Sunday propaganda In other sink-holes of Iniquity like Omaha. He la of the moat fashionable and fasc.na lng burnt-orange' color with terra-cotta stripes, and If fed assiduously on cat fish with copious draughts of catnip tu and a dose of catechu after every me tl., I can assure her he will be perfectly normal, except for an occasional ca.a leptlo fit caused from a brick-bat thrown with unusual skill and precision. "Rody" will find him a vocal acquisition. VERITAS. Hut why must she pick mally high shoes?' U out such ennor- Loulsville Courier Journal. Arrli'snt-4've rot a head full of il u, sir. that would Come In handy In the nittn apement of your buslnesa. lose (to nearby clerk) Here, .tacit take this chap down to the unloading depart mentJudge. Junior So, you didn't propose to her, after nil? Weed No. And I'm not going to. When I got to her house I found her chasing a mouse with a broom. Puck. She What did pa say when you told him you wanted to marry me? He He esld he supposed I wns old enough to know my own mind, but the ws no accounting for tastes. Baltimore American. GRINS AND GROANS. "It would be better for you if you quit attng so much," remarked the whole sale adviser. "Look here," rejoined tne ayapeptic; "these futurist Ideas may be all right for pictures and poetry; but don't try to start anv few-chewiist notions about my bills of fare." Washington Star. "Wife, tell daughter she positively must cut out those short skirts." "Husband, you don't understand fash Ion. The skirts must hang a few Inches above the top of the shoe." 'T understand that la the style this year, and I could bow to that dictum. DERM0T ASTORE. Old Irish Bong. Oh! Permot A store! between waking auc sleeping, I heard thy dear voice, and I weep to its lay; Every pulse of fny heart, the sweet measure was keeping, 'Till Klllarney's wild echoes had born It away. Oh! tell me. my own love, la this our last meeting, Shall we wander no more In Klllarney's green bow'rs. To watch the bright sun, o'er the dim hills retreating. And the wild stag at rest In his bed of spring flowers? Oh! Dermot Astore, between waking and sleeping, I heard thy dear voice, and I wept to Its lay; EVery pulse of m? heart, th sweet measure waa keeping, 'Till Klllarney's wild echoes had borna it away. Oh! Dermot Astore! how this fond heart would flutter When I met thee by night In th shady boreen. And heard thine own voice In a soft whisper utter , Those words of endearment "Ma , voureen Colleen!" I know we must part but O! say not for ever. That It may be for years, adds enough to my pain; But I'll cling to the hope that though now we muat sever. In some blessed hour I shall -meet thee again. www An Old, Family Cough Remedy, Home-Made Easily Prepared Ceste Vary Little, bat Is Prompt, Sere . ad ESTeetlv By making this pint of old-time cough srrup at home you not only save about 12, as compared with the ready-made kind, but you will also have a much more rrompt and positive remedy in every way. t overcomes the usual coughs, throat and chest colds in 24 hours relieves even whooping cough quickly and is excellent, too, for bronchitis, bronchial asthma, hoarseness and spasmodic croup. Get from any drug store 8 ounces of Pinex (50 cents worth), pour it into a pint bottle and fill the bottle with plain granulated sugar syrup. Full directions with Pinex. Keeps perfectly and tastes good. You can feel this take hold of a cough or cold in a way that means business. It ?ulckly loosens tna dry, hoarse or pain ul cough and heals the. inflamed mem branes. It also has a remarkable effect in overcoming the persistent loose cough by stopping the formation of phlegm in the throat snd bronchial tubes. The effect of Pine on the membranes Is known by almost every one. Pinex is a most valuable concentrated compound of grenuine Norway pine extract combined with guaiacol and other natural healing nine elements. There are many worthless Imitations of this famous mixture. To avoid dis appointment, ask your druggist for "2 VI ounces of Pinex," and do not accept any thing else. A guarantee of absolute sstisfaction, or money nromutlv refunded, (roes with this preparation. The Pinex Co., Ft. rv syne, ina. Help Digestion To keep your digestive organs in good working or der to stimulate your liver, tone your stomach and regulate your bowels, take Lanes Sale ai Aay MadUtea ! the WetU. 8ld "i" base, lab ae.10fc.ZBe. Too esnaot orsr-sstlnuts tbs value ef a ds pvndsbh Watch. An unrellabl tlma-kaspar Is oftsa a detrtmant. A faw mlnutsa 1st at a bua naas appointment nay main tha loss of oon slilerable monay. You ara always aura of sxsnt lima whan you purchase a watch at liOFTIS BHOS. a OO. Wa (uarantea arary watch wa sail, sad our prloas are always lowest.- Lcftis Belcher Diamond Ring $30 ary Mount- lmr. Terms! 3-00 a Month. SfO. SSS. This solid gold Xoftls Bel. char M0OBtc waa spe cially SaalsnaS ta make th Dia mond look larsar than It raally la. It has beeoms vary popular. Bat with extra t)nm. perfect cut sparntng uiamona. special values la this ring at IN.- OKBBTT TiaMli 3 atUSTTK 2 Soli. Gold Thin Model Watch 17-Jewel $1075 la.- sTO. le Genuine El gin, waitnam or Hampden watcn. in z& year a u a r- anteea double strata gold filled case, o temperature, Is- ochronlsm Only --y. and positions. S1S.7B "movement guar $1.00 a Month. anteed 25 years. Open Dally till 8 p.m. Saturday till Si30 Call er writs lor catalog no. so, rnoas Douslas 144 sad oar aalsimin will sail., nEf-i-ie THE NATIONAL Or I id Credit Jewelers Elgin If0' rm lBRosica:ra 40 ft. loth OatalMh, No Change of Cars to the 'Twin-Cities" ( Through equipment is now run in both day and night trains via the Chicago Great "Western to St. Paul and Minneapolis. Day train, leaving Omaha 7:29 a. m., Council Bluffs. 7:50 a. m., has buffet club car (serving all. meals) and coaches, arriving St Paul 7:40 p. m., Minneapolis 8:15 p. m. Night train leaving Omaha 8:30 p. m., Coun cil Bluffs 8:50 p. m., has sleeping cars, buffet club car, chair cars and coaches, arriving in St. Paul 7:30 a. m., Minneapolis 8:05 a. m. ahead of other trains giving full business day and making appointments and connections doubly sure. YOUR TELEPHONE IS HANDY. P. BONORDEN, 0. P. & T. A., 1522 Farnam St., Omaha. - Phone Dong. 260. iwFji, (Emphasize the "Gnat) HI m - 4 property." Harper's Mages a. t