TTTTC BEE: OMATIA, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 20. 1915.
THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
' FOUNPWD BT EDVAJV ROSKVVATER. "
VICTOR ROSEWATKI., 'CDITOR.
TX Pee Publishing Company Proprietor.
FEB PflLDlNU. FARNAM ANl KEVENTCENTH.
rntti at Omaha pot office a scond-eae matter.
IfcRMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
By carrier fly mall
per month. per yar.
)ft and Jundav P - is
relly without flunday....' c
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Sunday B-a only
Pnd notice of chanse of addre or complaint of
rrr-a-ulartty ta delivery to Omaha Bm, Circulation
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REMITTANCE.
Femit Vf draft, apra or !' I ertir. Only two
rmnX stsmps received in payment of amall a,
ouwts. 1'enmnel checss, exrrpt oa Omaha ana eastern
sense, Dot accepted.
omens.
Omaha Tha Dm flatlillnc.
out h Omaha il N arrest.
CoanHI Hluffa 14 North Mala street,
Ilnonla M I.ltth tsulMlng.
Chlcaao m laret HiilMIn;.
f.'rw Tork Room lie. I Fifth avewua,
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1 CORRESPONDENCE!,
Iddraaa communication raiatlny to news and dt
(oriel snaUar to Omaha Bm, rxiltorlal Department.
SEPTEMBER CIRCULATION.
54,663
Rat of Nebraska. County of Douglas, et
Iw1(tht W llllams. circulation manager of Tn Be
Puhllahlnc company being duly sworn, s that tha
aroraco circulation lor U month of September, Ula.
was ai.w3.
KW'IQUT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
Bubscrlld In my prrea-e and aworn to bafora
toe, this lat day of October.
KOBERT UUNTikM, Notary PuMle.
Subscribers leaving the city temporarily
faonld hay Tha He mailed to thai Ad
Gmu will b changed aa often aa requested.
tr
October tO
Thought for the Day
57e! by Annttt DBoll
IM , thn, bt tcast toa art, and tptmk what
tr tAtnfc, and in all thing kttp ourscit loyal
to trvih and tht acrd profuiiont of friend-thip.-ll.
)'. Longftllev.
Charity prompts the hope that the Armen
ian are not too proud to fight.
Omaha's police department payroll carries
182 names, but only halt of the men walk beats.
Spread out rather thin.
After all, the tank of putting- off a speech
In a public school building Is simplicity Itself.
Join an Improvement club.
In the words of the refrain sun in the
Mikado, the street fair part of the Ak-8ar-Ben
festivities "never would be missed."
A train holdup In New York and another
in Texas. The profession Is distinctly cosmopoli
tan In distributing its s licit up thrills.
The city's first municipal experiment with
11,000 song birds has not proved a .Uttering
financial success. Evidently the notes came too
Mn.
sssnssfaSfSSBSBBBSSHsaassasBSSPaM
Still the best way to put a quietus on the
murder gossip stories would be to catch the
Loid-up man and make him answer for his mis
feeds. Last week's record of bank clearings puts
Omaha fourteenth in the list of cities reporting.
The showing Is a notable sign post on the road
to prosperity.
The road to Contantlnople wrecked the
reputation of countless army commanders In
rcntuies past. General Ian Hamilton Is In large
mad goodly company.
To be sure, other cities suffer from hold-ups
nd murdors and waves of crime, but that Is no
good reason why Omaha should be terrorised by
outlaws and let them get away with It.
Having bad apple day and pineapple day,
the next one on the calendar Is pumpkin day,
with the pumpkins duly carved for eyes, nose
tfid mouth and hollowed out for the candles.
The manufacturers' association is said to be
contemplating a permansnt exhibit of home
made goods as part of their patronage-home-
industry com pal gn. Good thing puBh It along,
The new born seal of Secretary Daniels rises
. majestically to the emergency. He is eager to
spend all the preparedness money during the
year he is sure of his Job. Could patriotism do
more?
Serbian women are reported Joining tbe
aiuiy by lens of thousands, determined to stand
cr fall with their sons and brothers in resisting
the invaders. Evidently the fiercest fighting Is
t to come.
Novelty in holdup methods and the mystery
surrounding a murder attracts unusual atten
t;on and prompts belief in the prevalence of a
crime wave. Examination of newspapers from
ether cities quickly dispels the notion that
Omaha is in a special crime class.
r
iA All J7eitS Cltf
Failure at the Dardanelles.
The recall of General Sir Ian Hamilton from
command of the British forces at Galllpoll shows
tbe brilliant soldier of the South African cam
paign to have failed In his undertaking. Tbe
bluffs of the Turkish rspe are more formidable
than those around Ladystnlth, as he has proven.
Little Is known of the operations at Galllpoll,
beyond the fact that the Turks have stubbornly
resisted and the losses of the allies have- been
disproportionately heavy. What was first looked
upon as a Job to be carried through with a rush
has come to be understood as one of greatest
difficulty. Its Importance has also been some
what diminished by newer phases of the gen
eral campaign. With the crossing of troops over
Creclsn territory Into Serbia, the allies have
gained one of the objects of tbe assault on the
Dardanelles, that of access to the southeastern
front of the war. With this purpose achieved, the
passsge of the strslts loses some of Its relative
weight in the general strategy. It is still desir
able, however, as affording a warm water route
to Russia, although the activity of Japan has
lessened In a considerable degree the urgency
for this. Russian grain may remain in Russian
warehouses, if only other munitions may be
brought in. The case of Turkey may be deferred
without menace to the allies, and the service of
that country to Germany seems to be all but
ended for the time being. The months of des
perate fighting at Galllpoll serve as well as any
to indicate the character of warfare under mod
ern conditions.
VUti Will
& ildul
It ! -i t-'
.;-. hi
National Defense and IU Cost.
The president's program for national de
fense Is now being gradually unfolded and so
far as Its details have been divulged, no com
plaint can be made that it is not comprehensive.
?he Bee has on many occasions pointed out that
a force for national defense cannot be Impro
vised. It Is not a question of material, for the
raising of a sufficient number of men through
call for volunteers Is the smallest Item In the
jroblem. The proper training of these men in
-sys of war, in the mechanics of modern
weapons, In the care of themselves and others
In camp and on the march, of Instilling disci
pline that will bring efficiency, takes time, and,
if It must be done, should be done In time of
peace. Accumulation of stores of arms and
equipment necessary to enter war on the mag
nificent scale It has assumed Is also a work for
pesceful days, as is the construction of forts and
fighting ships. The one thing to be determined
Is how far we want to go and how much we
are willing to pay for it.
v
Carson Oat of British Cabinet.
The resignation of Sir Edward Carson from
Ms post as attorney general of the British im
perial cabinet is not at all to be marveled at.
The wonder is that' even In the desire to form
a ministry that would be fairly representative
of all shades of British politics, Mr. Carson was
considered, or that he could accept office under
a government he had so strenuously opposed.
At the time the war broke out be stood aa de
fiant of the majority In Parliament, refusing to
recognise the right of that body to legislate con
trary to his views, and threatening civil war
If the government undertook to enforce the
Irish home rule bill. He la a splendid representa
tive of the ultra-conservatism of his country.
the tory spirit that has stood so solidly against
the social and political reforms that have
changed England within the last generation.
Just as David Lloyd George Is the Idol as well
as the Ideal of democracy and progress, so Car
son represented the extreme opposition to
democracy, and even the exigency of war and
the Imminent danger of the country Is not suf
ficient to harmonise their Ideas. Carson will re
turn to his place as a censorious critic of the
government and the cabinet is assured in ad
vance of his most esrnest attention. Great
Britain has Its most serious problem of the war
on Its home soli Just now.
Along the Mexican Border.
Disorders along the Rio Grande are steadily
growing worse, and now a point has been
leached when the United States government
must give serious attention to the situation. The
recognition of Carranta as the head of the de
facto Mexican government puts on him respon
sibility for the maintenance of order, and espe
cially for the security of thoso who are his near
relghbors. He Is especially liable In this regard,
for the reason that the worst of the trouble Is
located In the section of Mexico where his au
tbority has been longest Imposed. Unless he is
able to restrain his countrymen from their prac
tice of raiding across the border, Uncle Sam will
bd compelled to exert himself In a way that will
be decidedly unpleasant. Co-operation between
the military forces of the two governments
ought to be entirely feasible under the present
conditions, and might be effective In ending
condition of the outlawry that is intolerable.
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Fixing- the Federal Banking Law.
Now It transpires thit that wonderful piece
of legislation, the Owen-Glass law, establishing
the federal reserve banks, will require several
alterations from the coming session of congress.
Especially has It proved unresponsive to tbe ex
pressed wUh of the president and the secretary
of the treasury, who are anxious for the estab
lishment of branch banks in South America.
the reserve board considered the recommends
tton from Mr. Wilson and Mr. McAdoo, advo
cating the establishment of such banks, and gave
a very proper negative. The plan Is attractive,
but not permissible under the law. The necea
sity of better banking accommodations for the
South American trade hss been apparent for
)earn, and the proposition of United States
banks to unite In Joint ownership of branches In
the trade centers of the southern republics Is
feasible, but cannot at present be undertaken
along the tlaes suggested by the secretary of the
treasury after the Pan-American financial con
ftrence. Th!e Is only one of tbe weak spots
that have been developed by Its operation. A
meeting of the board Is to be held at Minneap
olis this week to consider amendments, and an'
ether bus buen called for November i, to formu
late recommendations to congress for chsnges
lit what the driiioersts art? still boasting of as a
pt-rftrt piece of legislation.
D-i'l.is, one of the five cities seeking to enter
i .fin ll. Ik mr.i rut'.c National convention,' Jump
in ih. front with a cash tickler of 1100.000
W ill f l a democrats raise the limit or lay
aown their bands?
When President Tyler Wed
BTaw Work TlaaM.'
PRFXIDENT WILSON, whoa enasmnt to Mrt
Norman Oalt has lately been announced, will he
. tmA h...M.ni fxt ih. t'nitj fttatea to t4
married during hla farm of office. Orover Oareland
was tha aernnit, whoaa manias' thirty years aso In
th v.'hii ifmia on jnnA l ism. to Pranrra yDlaom,
now Mrs. Thomas J. Praaton. took place during his
second term. Tha first was Jonn ryiar. lamoua m
tha spirited eampalan sons of "Tlppecanoa and Tyler,
Inn " whit hM-tm. nrwoMfttlt Alt Aorll 4. 1M1. OQ thS
death of Oeneral William Henry Ilartiaon. who had
heen Inaugurated Juat on month berora. it waa n
firm .ImA In Ih. hl.lAP of thl MlUntrT that a VtC
prealdent had succeeded to tha office of chief ex
ecutive, due to the death of the one elected to tnai
place.
Tarlor'a thru ara nif eleven month of office
war rm4 with nnlitiral turmoil and trouble. Within
a few months, all of hla cabinet member reewroed.
with tha exception of two, of whom PanM Webater.
secretary of state, waa one. Th great wDier waa
severely cltlclaed by hla party, th whig, for remain
ing, but In tit nd It waa much to his credit, a well
aa thai n.uh m.llrnnl administration, that h
did eo. for h carried to a ucceaaful termination that
memorable agreement with England known a th
Aahburton treaty, which removed many lontr-standlns;
Alanulaa rararillnv our CTanaillan boundary. Boon after
the treaty was sinned. In ltt, Webster left tha cabinet.
But amid his stormy prealdenual career, in wnim
ffkiihtlrt wlliin.pHna tMtit an fa aa to brine forth
audible muttering of threatened Impeachment. John
Tviap ai.hiavad tha haoov dlatlnctlon of eacortlnr Ma
bride direct from th wedding to th Whit Houa.
Tat tha marries was praceded, and. Indeed, was
Indirectly caused, by on of th most appalling dis
asters which hae ever occurred to th American navy
during times of peace. Th steam frtsat Princeton,
the newest and finest type of steam warship tnen in
th navy, had recently been put In commission. On
February . 1S44. th prealdent and secretary or the
navy Invited a larr party of gueets to mak a trip
of Inspection on the war veaael down th Potomac.
It ohlef armament consisted of two great sruns of aa
Improved pattern, capable of hurling a XX-pound shot
a distance of threa miles. One of the guns, at Its
third dlacharge, when opposite Alexandria, exploded,
killing six persons and Injuring many other. Among
the dead were two recently appointed members of tha
cabinet, Abel P. Upshur, secretary of state, and
Thomas W. Oltmer, secretary of th navy, and also
Commander Beverly Kenyon of th United Btataa
navy, David Gardiner, a former New Tork state sen
ator, and Virgil Mexcy, lat chars d'affaires at
Belgium,
Among the large party of ladle on board were
th two daughters of David Oardtner, friends of tha
president, end who were In Washington on a visit
from New Tork. Th body of their father was taken
temporarily to the Whit Houa. and aa a result of tha
clot aasoclatlon of th prealdent with th bereavsd
daughters, he fell In love with th elder, Julia Gar
diner, and la a Uttl lass than four months they were
married.
Tha bride was ti years of age, and a member of
on of th socially prominent families of New Tork.
8 he waa born on Gardiner's Island, which became th
manorial poseeaalon of th doughty Lion Gardiner,
th founder of the family on this side of tn Atlantic,
about 1W This extensive Island, standing well out
Into the ocean east of Long Island, has never passed
from the family ownership.
Th wedding took place In New ors city at tn
Church of th Ascension, then, as now, at Fifth ave
nue and Tenth street, on Wednesday, June M, UK
Th newspapers of th day, howver, gave less notice
to th nuptials of th president of th United States
than waa accorded to many a local political happening.
This wss due to two reasons. First, because both th
prealdent and his bride had kept thalr secret securely
from th public, so that few persons, ven or th
newspaper editors In New Tork. knew what waa going
on until epprteed of th fact on th departure of th
president and his wlfa by th salutes or the warships
la th harbor. Th second reason was that In view of
th recent bereavement In th Gardiner family th
ceremonies had been arranged on a very simple scaie,
and th newspapers were aeked to treat th affair In
aa equally simple manner.
This request was so generally observed tnat on
may pore over th file of th nawspapars of th day
In vain to discover anything lis a comprehensive ac
count of th first wedding In which a president of th
United States was marrUd during his term of office.
asaaawaw
In connection With th wedding of John Tyler nd
th approaching nuptial of President Wilson ther
ar certain coincidence of Interest Miss Gardiner was
President Tyler's second wife. Hla first wife, Letltta
Christian, to whom he was married la 1813, died -tn
September I. 1M2, one year, flv month and ftv da-ra
after th Inauguration of har husband aa president
The late Mrs. Wilson was mistress of the Whit
House for almost Identically th aam time, her death
on August S, 1914, being on year, five months and
two days from th Inauguration of Mr. Wilson. Presi
dent Tyler wss married again In a Uttl over on
year and nln months after th death of hi first wlf,
and If President Wilson is married In December, as
has been announced. It will b about one year and
four months after th death of his first wife.
At th tlm of President Tyler's second marriage
he was M years old. After hi retirement from tho
presidency he spent hi remaining years with hla wife
at his Virginia estate, Sherwood Forest, on th banks
of th James river, near Richmond. He died In 1X1.
Mrs. Julia Gardiner Tyler lived until Juiy 10. 1889. She
died tn Richmond on her way north after visiting usr
oldest boy, Lyon Gardiner Tyler, president of William
and Mary college, Williamsburg, Va., a position he
still holds. 8h had four children, three sons and onj
daughter.
Aimed at Omaha
rim
Plattamouth Journal! Omaha had a big Job on lis
hands last week In taking ear of th Ak-Ser-Beo
and "Billy" Sunday, too. But was equal to the emer
gency In vry particular.
Central City Republican: William Sunday Is a
good Investment for the laying up of treasures, both
above and oa earth. Th multitude of visitors who
come to hear his message, bring large revenue to th
railroad and to Omaha tn payment for their enter
tainment Th bulk of hla reward comes later, and
his per cent of th financial returns Is but a pittance
In proportion to his earning power.
Hastings Tribune: Th Ak-8ar-Bn festivities at
Omaha were fully up to expectations, and were at
tended by large crowds from every corner of J he state.
The Ak-Bar-Uen la doing for Omaha exactly what It
was created for. It Is helping th social and th bus
Ineas Intereats of Nebraaka's metropolis, and la doing
more In that line very year.
Tecumaeh Chieftain: Ho. hot And now comes
wicked Omaha, with th reputation to stand for
almost anything In th amusement line that la any
where near toleration, and deolareo against th atreet
carnival. Th Omaha Be says It Is high tint th
manager of th tall festivities In th atate's me
tropolis get within the trend of th time and .cut out
the atreet carnival. Th Idea of th opening on of
th beat buaineas streets of the city each fall, and not
only Inviting In every sort of graft and illegitimate
amusement enterprise, but to surround such outfits
with more or less protection from th law. has finally
become oflenalv even In th nostrils Of Greater
Omaha. Think of It! Verily th road f th street
carnival Is destined to become a rocky one.
pierce Leader: Omaha Is there and over when It
routes to landtag oonveiittona. Bh la now trying to
land the democratic national convention, and Juat
Helen to th nolae she will be making pretty soon,
it would b a grand thing for th enure state if
Omaha could get that convention.
Calhoun Chronl.ie: The Omaha Be Is atln
th ao-called carnival in connection with th Ak-Sar-Ben
fcatlvttlee. The carnivals ther have alwaya been
Jukea, and that their ataleneas la not appreciated la
show-h by decreased attendance each year, while the
far ides a re wltneaaed ty more people each f 11. People
may like to be humbugged, but they prefer a varia
tion la th method occasionally
)rln Hark th Caaaty Fair.
OMAHA. South Bide, Oct. 1 To the
Editor of Th Bee: I see that you have
been writing of th bum street fair that
waa held In Omaha during Ak-Par-Ben
carnival. I have been doing that In Tha
Be for th last two or three years.
I saw In your paper last Saturday th
statement that the Priests of Pallas of
St. Iioul are going to have their affair in
conjunction with th county fair of that
city and county.
Why not have the county fair once
more as a part of tha street fair and shut
out th bum shows and gambling device
and skin games. The county fair of this
year hss been said to hav been rather
unsuccessful, and If that statement Is
true, I think the Ak-8ar-Ben board of
managers ought to mak up with tha
county fair management, then have a
good fair next year and other decently
attractiv shows, and I am sura that it
wilt be a financial success.
It waa an unwise policy to drive th
county fair away In th first place, for
It drew thousands of people to tha street
fair.
Get rid of th fakirs and unsavory
shows and get something decent, along
with tho county fair and It ought to bo
a success. V. A. AUNEW.
lalepeadeaea of Tjatow Labor.
BENSON, Neb., Oct l.-To tha Editor
of Th Bee: A letter appeared in a re
cent lasu of this paper signed by Max
Desettel quoting President Gompers on
th question of prohibition. Mr. Deiettel
Is mistaken, however, when ho says that
this "completely answers every objection
to th resolution of tho state labor con
vention held In Omaha last month and
should be final as to any further action
on this subject."
It Is not even an attempt to answer
these objections to tbe resolution. Mr.
Oompers' letter is merely a personal opin
ion and la given as such. It does not
pledge any member of the American Fed
eration of Labor to either support or
oppose prohibition. Tho resolution passed
at tho state convention virtually pledges
every organisation connected with the
Stat Federation of Labor, as organisa
tions, against th prohibition movement
In this stat. This th various unions
will refuse to do regardless of the resolu
tion. Members of these organisations will
follow their own Inclinations on this ques
tion and representatives of organised
labor will undoubtedly be found on either
side. LUTHER O. MUSK.
Omaha Local No. 43 International Photo
Engravers' Union.
Another Voice for Union Labor.
OMAHA. Oct 18. To the Editor of th
Bee: I have read with mucn Interest an
artlole In your "Letter Box" ty Max
Desettel, editor Omaha Unionist with
reference to the plumbers of Lincoln,
protesting against tha action taken by
the Nebraska Stat Federation of Labor
tn opposition to prohibition at their con
vention held recently In thia city.
Mr. Desettel misconstrue the meaning
of the Lincoln plumbers protest no
dougt, either Intentionany or otherwise.
Their protest doe not mean that they
as an organisation are In favor of pro
hibition, but that tha Nebraska Federa
tion of Labor used poor Judgment when
it Jeopardised th opinion of trad union
ists of thia state by taking the action it
did.
Th writer had the pleasure of spend
ing an evening during the ' Convention
with Mr. Bert Rlemers, delegate from
Lincoln Plumbers' union. W attended
the entertainment given the visiting dele
gates by the Omaha Central Labor union.
Mr. RIemer was not In favor of prohi
bition, but was opposed to the convention
taking any action on the question.
Mr. Desettet uses President Oompers'
letter In which he refused to act as a
member of th National Constitutional
Prohibition committee on co-operation In
hla article, when any person with an
ordinary amount of common sense cart
readily see that President Gompers simply
used good Judgment and It Is the opinion
of the writer that had President Oompers
been asked to serve on a like committee
against prohibition he would hav like
wise refused, thus being neutral on this
question, which th president of such an
organisation as tho American Federation
of Labor In which so many different
nationalities, religions and political be
liefs are to be found, should bo.
The Omaha Unionist recleved th In
dorsement of the Omaha Central Labor
union Friday evening by a very smalt
margin, after an all summer campaign.
And anyone who Is at all acquainted with
th labor movement In this city can
readily sea th object of Mr. Desettel
rushing Into the spotlight aa th cham
pion of labor, when as a matter of fact
he has been In the city scarcely long
enough to vote.
A fin paper to be the' official organ
of organised labor In Omaha with almost
0 per cent of Its members opposed to It
In conclusion I wish to say that I am
opposed to prohibition In this stat. I
hav studied this question, space Will
not permit m giving my many good
reasons, but I do not propose to take ad
vantage of th prestige of any organi
sation to further my own Interests, as
Mr. Desettel is attempting to do.
FRANK J. LYNCH.
Secretary Plumbers Union No. 14.
Is th Prealdeat Playlaar Polities f
NOKT1I LOUP. Neb., Oct 18. To th
Editor of Tha Bea: If th people of th
United States will take another look at
th demand tor appropriating $248,0U0,0DO
by which to increase th navy, they may
get their eye opened to a gigantic
schema by whlob to re-elect President
Wilson and maintain democracy. Th
recent proposal by th prealdent to main
tain a tariff on sugar Indicates a mo
tive to asplr again to th presidency.
Tho southern states are democratic; but
when democracy got In ita real work
down there, in th annihilation of th
sugsr Industry, th south Is in no mood
to support th president; hence, the
Chang to protection on sugar,
I have never thought of a politician as
being sacred. When we read history,
ancient and modern, we read with sur
prise th treachery, trickery and trifling
method of men In public Ufa. Politicians
want to be considered sincere; but that
word doe not fit more than 10 per cent
of them.
How ar w In any immediate danger
of war? Europe Is apendlng Ita wealth
and blood in such a way that the danger
of war In thia country becomes more re
mote. And If w want to protit In im
proved war equipment, by tha experience
in the recent wars of iMurope, we tuuat
await the cloae of theae wara. and then
give the matter a cloo. aclentlflc study.
There Is another reason for the pressing
demands to spend t-4S.Oti.C00 cn the navy
by the next saurian of cotira. That f u-crt-t
reason Is for the re-election of the
prealdent.
The great shlp-bulldlug plants ar lo
cated on th east and west coaata. To
tax the country an extra fctf .ano.no
place such larg eums of money at th
disposal of th administration that the
border states, east and west are vir
tually In control of the administration In
th presidential election of 1S1. Whs
does It mean? It means thst the ship
bulidtng-ermor plate trust will be able
to turn hundreds of thousands of voters
to th democratic party because of an
abundance of currency in the ultra east
and west The central states will still
remain In democratic hard times, casting
their electoral vote to the republicans.
But what does our paramount-peace-pollcy-poppycock
politicians car for that
If they can remain In power?
WALTER JOHNSON.
dealer. "He's th
Courier-Journal.
artist" Louisville
LITE'S TENDER TIME.
Nebraska Editors
The Crete Vldette has added a linotype
to tha equipment of Its office.
Th Fairbury News Is now publishing
a sixteen-page paper, all printed at home.
Th Table Rock Argue cloae Ita thirty
third year and come out for prohibition
In Nebraska.
Th Madlaon Star-Mall starts In on the
twenty-fourth rear of Ita existence feeling
bigger and better than ever before.
Th Stanton Register, starting In on Its
thirty-ninth year, haa added two pages
of home print Since th death of Al
Pont some months ago th Register haa
been published by tha Pont Publishing
company.
Th Chadron Journal has Just passed
Its thirty-first birthday and Editor Snow
asserts that In th future th paper will
continue to be a stronger and more vig
orous advocate of northwest Nebraska
than ever before. He points to th pros
perity that haa com by successive years
of bountiful crops.
MLUTHFU1 REMARKS,
"I thought you told me you were going
around to that china decorator's to look
for a Job7"
"I did. But there waa a sign outside.
Firing dally'." Judge.
Mr. Jolly I know what sort of a tree
your family tree would be. Miss Polly.
Miss Polly (expecting him to say, "a
peach tree") Te heel What sort of a
tree. Mr. Jolly?
Mr. Jolly A nut tree. Hal Ha! Judge.
"What ar your daughters studying
now?"
"Nothing," replied Mr. Cumrox.
"They've learnt all about music, paint
ing an' literature. All they've got left
to learn la not to bother people with
them." Washington Btar.
Brown Did I leave an umbrella here
yesterday?
Barber What kind of an umbrella?
Brown Oh. any kind at all. I'm not
fussy. Boston Globe.
x a rtinm w
y KABARET '
"DEAR MR- WmdiE.
A OUNh; MAN HAS tjfVEN ME"
WAMOrO RlNqS,7AKTS ME To
THEATRE ANb ALL AFTAIRS. VJHAT
IS IT A SiejK OF?
tsst a aa II I .a.lA aa-a a. . a a
i I rtirais rlfc rLIKTINqr W
"A magistrate has unusual domestic
advantages over other men whose wives
are always giving them a piece of their
minds."
"What advantage has he?"
"When she starts In to rive it he can
bind her over to keep th piece." Balti
more American. -
"Iiclle. what are you going to make?"
"Borne biscuits."
"Hut why hav you brought out tho
fashion platea as well as th cook book?"
"Well. I'm a little green at this. Do
you make biscuit from a recipe or a pat
tern?" Judge.
Friend Si this Is on of your Jokes, Is
It? Hal Hal Ha!
Humorist (testily) Well, what are you
laughing at anyhow? Isn't it a good
one, Passing bhow.
He Do you remember Horatlus at the
bridge?
8 he I don't think I ever met him. Tou
know we lnvlt so few men. Judge.
"I wish to tell you perseverance wins
in the long run. Now my barber has
been trying to sell me a bottle of hair
tonic for the last ten years.
"Hut he hasn't succeeded, yet."
"No; but I think he eventually will."
Pittsburgh Post
"Tu say this picture Is worth tfi.OOO
and yet you ar offering it for ten."
"Yes."
"Something wrong here," declared the
policeman, 'Til have to take you In."
"Nothing wrong, officer." Interposed the
Jnd1 M. Lewis, tn Houston Post.)
Pha had played very hard, you know how
they r'ay:
r'rom morning till night, romping hard all
the day!
She hai called, and sh hai been csllel
upon, too.
And she had played house. There I some
thing to do
For a sln1 little girl from the time when
the sun
First wakes her from slumber till dayllgru
Is done;
And then In my arms, with her shoes
put aside.
She curled up and snuggled and cuddled
and cried.
Tes, she did! Phe Just cried! She was
weary and worn.
Her shoes were all dusty, her garments
were torn.
Her dolls were all scattered, her ribbons
untied.
And that's why sh snuggled up to me
and cried;
Tou know how It Is, you've a girl. I sup
pose. And, having a girl, you know Just how It
goes;
And, having her weary and sobbing, you
know
What a mother Is worth, and a sweet
by-o-lo.
Women Can Save
$5 in an Hour
Says gasoline dry cleans
dresses, coats, silks,
gloves, draperies.
Tou will never again pay enormous
prices for dry cleaning after trying this.
Any woman can clean and renew th
appearance of yokes, ribbons, satins,
laces, silks, furs, shirtwaists, Swiss,
lawn, organdie and chiffon dresses, kid
gloves and shoes, neckties, children's
clothes, suits, cape, woolen garments,
fancy vests, draperies, rugs. In fact any
and everything that would be ruined with
soap and water.
Get two ounces of solvit at any druc
store and put it in two gallons of gaso
line, where It quickly dissolves. Then
put in the goods to be cleaned. After a
little rubbing out they com ' looking
bright and fresh as new. Tou will find
nothing fades, shrinks or wrinkles, re
quiring no pressing.
Tou will have to pay 16 at a dry clean
ing establishment for th cleaning which
canefi done at home as easily aa laun
dering. Any grocery or garage will sup
ply th gasoline and your druggist will
sell you two ounces of solvlte which Is
simply a gasoline soap, then a large dish
pan or wash boiler completes your dry
cleaning outfit Advertisement
Resinol will
stop that ugly
itching rash
The moment that Resinol Oint
ment touches itching- skin the Itch
ing stops and healing begins. That
is why doctors have prescribed it
so successfully for twenty years la
even the severest cases of ecxema,
ringworm, rashes, and many other
tormenting, disfiguring skin dis
eases. Aided by warm baths with
Resinol Soap, Resinol Ointment
makes a sick skin or scalp healthy,
quickly, easily and at little cost
Kaslaol Ointment sad Raslaol Soap alee
elaar away simples, blackheads and dandrmff.
Sold by all drnrsiits I (or trial free, write te
Ratiaol. Dept. ivS, Baltimore, Md.
YoiirFamilyDoctor
will tell you that a chew
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ods for getting the taste,
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-U
s - . amta-a ---'- tola.
taa " frWtsr flayer.
THI AMERICAN
T0SACCO CuafaJTT '
a I K AVI
W71
FREE
ins
Sea4 Ita aaj
Jour tobacco
ealra name-
anil we'll send a full-sis 10c
cut of " PIPEJt ' and a hand
some leather poach KX,
anywhere In U. 8. Alse a
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tobacco, pooch and mailing
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will gladly spend because
a trial will make yoo.
steady user of "PIPijL
