virn m;E: oh.ail, Friday. September 24, 1915.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
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VICTOR ROSEWATE1.. CDITOR.
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CORRESPONDENCE!.
'Address eotnrmialcatloaa relating ta news and edt.
torts! mattar to Omaha Baa. Tentorial Departrasot.
AUGUST CWtCClATIOJI.
53,993
Stat af Xehraeka, County of Douglas, aa:
Iwlght Williams, circulation manager of Tha Hwe
PuMlsU.Dg eompanr. being duly ewora. aaya that the
average clrvulatlun (or the month of August. IDla.
waa bS.yM
DWWHT WTLLXAMS. ClrculaUon Manager.
Subscribed In my preeeneo and iwonl to bafara
ma, this Sd day ol heptembcr. Imi.
KOBKKT lll'NTHK, Notary Public
Subscribers leaving the. city temporarily
ahoold hara The Be tnailod to them. Ad
drraa will b changed aa often aa requested.
949MaaVaVV eM
Thought for the Day
God gio mtnl A timt Met demands
Strong ridi, grtat Kta.rU, (tut taUh, and
rtady hand$,
Mm rH Vi iusi ofofflc docs not kill;
Mtn whom tht tpotlt of n Slot cannot buy;
Men vho pctmtl opinion and a will;
Men wfco Kav honor, mnd teAo toil not U.
-J. Q. Holland.
.A
For a real sUillng scrap the world must wait
until the, Balkan wildcats cut loose.
Billy" Sunday trail-hitters exceeded f.OOO
in the wren weeks campaign In Des Moines.
Hit 'em up!
At yet none of these research fund doctor
mem to have gotten hold of the suicide ferm,
ablch is proving Just as deadly as STer.
Yea, but what about the split-up of the pre
mium In that state treasurer's bond dealt What
lo Governor Morehead going to do about it?
Now for ths millennium! The chronlo yel
low Journal knocker on the police has at last
sound one thing done by the police department
to commend. ; : ' .
1 ; I
If the entries to that federal Judgeship race
tr not closed soon, so many horses will be ont
.j is the track that they cannot get away without
iiiHTferviee.
If 'Jack" Frost will only be accommodating
n little longer, he may hare permission, to eut
all the fancy capers he wants to throng's ths
. hole winter.
liar nam's estlmats of a fool born erery
' i.nnute" must be reTleed upward to keen within
hulling dlatance of the crowd chasing the
M-ralgbt Up on Wall street's war shares,
An inclination to sidestep the An1o-JYench
loan is shown by Chicago bankers, prompted by
Britain's rode conduct toward ths packers, loy
alty to home Interest that foregoes profit Is
rare.
The Western 8tatcs Water Power convention
declares for state control of water power. Ex
pert advice on this subject would command
more public Interest It the source was less Interested.
The city council can limit the accident lia
bility on the bond required from the Jitney, but
it cannot limit the accident liability of the cul
pable driver or owner. Bo careful and avoid
accidents!
No sugar "barT exhibited in recent times
rivals Henry Kurd's 110.000.000 peace fund as
an attraction for human flies. Thousands of
leople, known and unknown promoters of peace,
ere rallying around the "bar'l." eager to work
the crank or provide a self-starter if Henry
supplies the oil.
The policy of "live and let live4 continues a
ontrolllng force among Nebraska bankers. That
is to be inferred from the omission of Nebraska
from the lit of states named by W. P. Q. Hard
ing, member of the federal reserve board, in
which banks charge more than 10 per cent tor
money. Unmh up the holes and reflect the
fiory that is ours.
at -m.' rrawsaaBMBaaaaWBM
a.im m 0 - 44 S4.W
An rnji'yat'la moonlight plcnlo was held In Hanscom
l.jik lat eveninc, at the Instance of 11 r. and Mr.
J. T. Kmn. tle Uisoes .Mile and Nellie Wllklns (t
Mr. 1 ilckeubottom, attenaed ly some sixty young
ltttoplv.
Tlie sixth unnual ball of tne Omaha police forve
am off at CupUtil avuue pkatinK Hnk, supper belna
rvrd at iuliitclit at N orr's' restaurant. Officer
Jul'ii Curray ai trd as master of ceremonies.
A nc thorn I society has teen organised with C D.
I'.irnmti. president; O. I. McCarthy, vice president;
a. C. 1'iuanliMi. se-rtrtaxy ; C. 1a haunders. treasurer;
T. J. lVnntll, mutlcol director, end W. U. Wllklns,
II. U-.J sud K. W. Ilrerkenridse additional mem
l-rs uf lh executive committer.
I'l u (niah4 Kair arid Kxnositlou aso lalloa Is s-t-Hift
up iia aflalts as Ispldty as tKuisllile. with the
tMix-ct rf n -".l di fl-it ss the result of tad weather.
nl,.u a wild Ine 1 1 n Ini'e,. t r t )1 ll.7(
! ur d ! ' I hylil Joe I al lae las. Kat 'r'av.
la rt li'i: .Mi f hs lnd, urid sworti In sv
I " i ' Iji' tin !iiht MNIfl
Germany and the Onen Set. i
The imperial Oerman government ha jut
made two moves that win have a direct and im
portant bearing on the controversy between the
rentrals, represented chiefly by the United
States, snd ths belligerents over or pan traffic.
F irst is the order to commanders of submarine
boats that they mast give the merchantman the
benefit of any doubt that may exist, and not
attack unless absolutely certain of the enemy
character of the vessel. Beyond, in event of the
interception of a ventel carrying conditional
contraband, unless It be expedient to convoy the
prize to a home port, it must be allowed to pro
ceed unharmed. This latter point grows out of
the Frye case. Carriers of absolute contraband,
under the Declaration of London, will be de
stroyed. This modification of the attitude hitherto
assumed by the German government will serve
well to support the contention of the United
States as to the rights of neutrals, and comes
very gracefully at this time. While the Decla
ration of London has not been fully applied by
either of the belligerents in the present war,
particularly with regard to Its classification of
contraband, its principles In the main have been
recognised as governing commerce scross the
anas. The greatest complaint, however, has
arisen through the arbitrary course pursued by
the belligerents, which course Is now being mod
ified by Germany, with concessions that must be
equally matched by Great Britain.
The American note to the British govern
ment on the point has long been in preparation,
several times remodeled, and may be subject to
yet further revision in the light of the German
agreements. Slowly a much-vexed question Is
approaching a rational solution.
Another Mjiterioni Disappearance.
While Mr. Bryan was secretary of state, his
Commoner devoted from six to ten psges of each
lesue to the "Work of the Departments," ex
plaining in sympathetic detail, with many pralse
ful adjectives, what was being done at Washing
ton under direction of his cabinet colleagues.
When this feature was inaugurated. It was ex
plained, as we recollect it, that nothing was
more Important to ths people than the adminis
tration of their government, and that to keep
them correctly Informed of the valuable and
valiant service which the democratic party, with
the advent of President Wilson, was able to ren
der took precedence of everything except Mr.
Bryan's personal expounding of democratic doc
trine. Mr. Bryan is no longer secretary of state,
and the "Work of the Departments" is no longer
narrated in the Commoner. What his succes
sor and his former colleagues are doing to save
the country, and remedy the Ills from which ths
eppressed people have been suffering, is appar
ently no longer of paramount Importance. With
Mr. Bryan's retirement, ths space which waa to
Instruct and elevate our cltlsenship by keeping
them Informed of what is doing for their benefit
by the democratlo officeholders and pie-biters
bss suddenly succumbed to mors pressing de
mands. Far be it from ns to suggest that sines Mr.
Hryan became a private citltsn the "Work of the
Departments" has deteriorated so that It Is no
longer worth mentioning, much less praising.
For us to hint such a thins would auhtact us to
tbs charge of black republicanism and rank par
tisanship. Nonetheless, the mysterious dlssp
pearance from ths Commoner of this union n.
orary feature calla loudly for ths beet detective
talent for its speedy unraveling.
Side Swipes at Sunday
Ii Omaha, Stiff -Kecked t
Complaint comes up from the tabernacle
that ths "trail" Is not sufficiently crowded with
seekers for pardon. Is this to be taken aa a
sign of stubbornness on part of Omahans, or Is
It proof that those who throng the meeting place
are already saved? Word was sent out that the
narvesi was npe, snd ths reaper were few, but
now that the force is fully assembled, and the
work is under way, ths sheaves brought boms
are small, and ths gleaners find but few stray
stalks to gather. A Des Moines man chides ns
for not following ths example of that city, and
swarming down ths "trail" in crowds. May it
not be that the appeal which brought the unre
generato Hawkeyes to their hunkerbonea Is not
ths one designed for this villager At any rate,
there's still some Urns left, and Omaha may yet
determine that ths way to eternal happiness lies
down ths sawdust trail. Ths accusation that
ws are tightwads waa removed at the moment
for action, so may the thought that ws are an
responsive to ths calL Be patient.
"And a Utile Child Shall Lead Them,"
The parochial visitation of Colorado by John
D, Rockefeller, Jr.. has been marked by several
rotable episodes, but by none more beautifully
than that afforded by his call at the Trinidad
public school house. Here ths great centals of
Industry and finance listened with wondering
ptuence to a lecture on business management
from the little daughter of a miner, in which
ths child stated some of ths fundamentals of
success. Shs told him nothing hs did not know,
for hs has experienced all ths rare delights of
studying Investments and securing large profits
from quick turnovers, and knows the ins and
outs of the game as well as any living man. The
novelty of having business principles so clearly
expounded by a school girl must have pleased
him, and It must be pleasing to all to know that
In that little school exist the germs of future
leadership In finance. These germs are not to
be found there alone, for the poor have to early
master the hard lessons of life, one of the most
important of which Is thrift
A 33 H per cent Income tax such as proposed
for (Jreat Britain looka like near-confiscation.
But wait and consider this case: Next year's tax
rate in Omaha Is to be 100 mills on ths one
fifth valuation, or a per cent, of the full valua
tion. If you have a S per cent municipal bond
Hated by the assessor you will pay I per cent ot
its face valuation la taxea, or 40 per cent ot the
income it brings you. No war tax la Omaha or
Nebraska, either!
Since the close of the civil war to dale the
United States has paid to the men who fought
for the union and their families 14.600,000,000
in pension. ( The result of their struf ictes and
r.icrtfices, Uioned lu a united country, is coni
rxnratton fur the nation's bounty
Paplliion Times: Between reporttna; Hilly' Sun
day's sermons and the European war. readers of
Omaha dally papers have little else to read on the
main newa paeee. And at that they fornlsh Inter
est tng reading.
Hastings Tribune; Rlliy"' Sunday has been glv
ing Uiose Omehans hall-Columbia because they fall
to com across with the spondullra. That la the first
time we ever heard of Omaha Ixdng In the tightwad
class.
Darlington Mors Id: At that, there must be con
siderable satisfaction 111 being able to stand up In a
pulpit and tell people In plain and forceful language
what you think of them, the way "nilly" Sunday
dors. The average Individual If he exorcised such a
prerogative, would probably wake up to find himself
In Jail.
Franklin News: The Omaha rV saya that
"nilly" Sunday verges on profanity In his sermons,
but then Omaha baa been used to that sort of thin?
for a good many years and always seemed to like
It. as they return Mayor Pahlman at election with
Increased majorttlee.
Albion News: "Billy" Sunday and Jim Pnhlman
are engaged in a contest to see which can ameer
the other with the moat soft soap, "nilly" says Jim
Is a dinger," and Jim saya "Billy" Is a "corker."
"BUly" gets his reputation "skinning" the boots
Joints and the underworld generally, while Jim owes
his prominece to those same Institutions. It Is
predicted that Jim will be converted and extend hla
public career aa the boose Joints and their allies are
doomed to extermination.
Orleans Issert Well. "Billy'' Sunday Is doing all
that ba said ha would when he put on hla spectacular
stunt In Omaha. Iia la convincing many that the
"sawdust trail" ta the proper place tor unsteady
feet.
fitanton Picket; Billy" Sunday ta making the
brimstone flv In Omaha, and la rmtln, .ni.h fc.n
to cause many ef his hearers to forsake their evil
waya and hit the sawdust trail. Ite beau an old
fashioned Free Methodist camp meeting all to hollow
and aenda many of hla bearers to perdition on the
rapid transit Sunday la a sensationalist, an emo
tionalist and a grafter. Christ drove the money
changers out of the temple and alt his life teachings
were meekDeaa and lowlynesa of heart and we fall
o find In divine writ where he spent hla time in
billingsgate and slang as does flunday. It may take
a braaa band and a allmnse of e.i....
eome people Into heaven, but we believe in a sane
niiunu, ana a aivine rorglvenees.
tavld City Banner: W .itmi ..nm....
day for the manner he handles the great crowds and
..v.u. cnn up, rw people are gifted aa he Is, but
It la too bad that he doea It under the cover of
religion, and he la backed up in his graft by mon
who pretend to be preachers of the gospel, wha
think they caa gain a little of hla notoriety Rot
Blue Spring SenUneJ: "Billy" Sundara first
IT" l"1 mh the alae of the collecUona.
He should sea to It that what cause, the larger drain
on the Omaha nockitthnnk i.
. - . . .iiu me stream
diverted In his direction before making the kick.
Wayne Herald: In view of t. .
which haa been oppressive and disagreeable, we
W I'll1?. '.U.nv't 10 "Bllir" the expediency of
aubstltutlng a water-soaked hell for the dry and
- w - 't vain meana or.
future punishment cannot be very effective during
an overly wet year.
Clay Center Run: M.iti.. .... ...
Dahlman ot Omaha, "Billy" Sunday .aid that he did
. ..... . nair in hla head. The Bea
.C!U,ttM,U" Jt t Mayor
" mm Diuiare DaJL
Wahoo Waaa: . Tfca -.w, aw .
.aiist doing I. oe-rt-alm w
ferenoa aa ,e the eritlca. who are looking for Jus!
tha nna m. . .v- . .... 1 -
. . wws: or mis man. The slang
phraaee that are used attnact. k. ...J!tT ...
-uuu vi people,
and while we have never heard him those that have
" cmn weu arrord to overlook the
slang and let tha nws k i- u. . ,. . .'fm
.inner to Christ "hiT ha, dT growj
world-wide. Surely tha old world need, aomfthln.
ta attr It en us fa . .. "ull
' - vwm w resuisa mat th
r i" V WTOn 'direction and should right
about mwtA Ha k.tt.. A . . il
oiti o V . "'v 10 rnar.a and listen to
"Billy" Sunday mlsrht K .,. v... ,. . "
" xam tanning- that "Billv"
.J. '."V or at ,et rfuily submit far the
good that It seems to have In general.
Tribulations of a Senator
eoU Jwaxwal.
"Will Senator Hitchcock have any show of election
next year, la view of hla entanglement with the pro
Crmanpropagandar', A good friend of the aenat-r
answered! if. .a a Question ot tha Bryan vote.
I here are a lot of German votes In Nebraska. If the
Uryan vote can be added to tha German. for Hitch
cock, he will be re-elected. What will the Bryan
democrat, dot" . he questioned back. I d like to
know, and I don't"
"Nebraska doesn't know Hitchcock." he went on
"and I suppose never will. Ills Is a remarkable case
of a life lived eut of Ita element. All hla Ufa Hitch
cock haa been forced by the pressure of events and
circumstances Into positions and associations with
which ha had no real sympathy. That ta why Hlton
cock la not understood by hla public. ,
To go back to the beginning. From bis father
ha Inherits a mission and founds a newspaper to
fulfill It. Tha republican field is filled by Rosewater
Ha haa old stores with Rosewater to aetUe and feels
obliged to see the fight through. He makes hla paper
Independent, bat tha loglo of tha situation compels him
finally to make It democratic. That Is circumstance.
No. 1; mf'i -g Hitchcock a democrat when at heart
ha has r. been a democrat. In tha senate, where
he is one u. the moat popular members, they laugh at
Hitchcock's democratlo associations. IWa no detne
eraf they aay. Thafa how they explain hla align,
ment with tha republicaaa and against the administra
tion much of the time In congress. Well, all went
smoothly, politically, with Hitchcock aa editor of tho
leading democratlo paper of the atata till that senator
ship apple appeared fifteen yeara ago, Hitchcock
wanted It Bryan, to whom ha had given a Job In
tha dark daya following tha letter's defeat for the
senate In 1MB, gave hla thea all powerful support t
W. V. Allen. Governor Poynter appointed Allen and
tha sting of ingratitude had aet Its eternal poison at
work. Tha breach with Bryan waa born here. Wltn
what result? With Bryaa stood practically all af the
weekly-hath democrats, the 'better element' Hitch
cock waa left with the barroom contingent to bulH
hla future upon. Thug circumstance No. 3: Hitch
cock, quiet cultured, naturally affiliated with tha
world of manners and breeding, forced to cultivate
tha faction whose beacon light la a saloon window.
"A born reoubllcan llvlnr tha nut a., .
- r - v. -. wuawrmi.
and a democrat of the faction with which he haa least
affinity, that la Hitchcock. It has been a hard life,
a hard part to play, a misunderstood life with the
real Hitchcock known only to a few Intimates. One
who realises all this will not bs too hard oa tho sena
tor's apparent tnoonailtencles and his opportunist ten-
dendea la pollUca."
"But how did so skillful aa opportunist get hold
of the hot poker of munitions embargolsmTM
"I don't know, but 4 have a guess. That proposi
tion not to aell Instruments of 'murder looks good oa
tha surface. I surmise that the senator took up the
Issue, thinklag he had material fur a popular cam
paign, without seeing whither It would lead. Now
that he la In it, he la too game to back out. If the
war should end soon, giving ever) body but the Ger
mans time to ftrget about It lefore next year, he m lit
.vet !- mwd I tm t' e timsciji w kj of li st oriur."
nhmt It Resalads Hiss Of.
OMAHA. Bept 23, To tha Editor ot The
Bee: Have Just read tho letter you
printed from C C. Scorril (a traveling
mxn out of Des Moines), in which he
"Jumps on" "Billy" Sunday. Olad V
see the heading you gave It.
Hla remarks remind ma very murh of
a half grown flea Jumping on a full grown
elephant E. W. PF AFPENUC RQ ER.
TkirtUa'i Rellarloaa Ideal.
OMAHA. Sept 23. -To the Editor of The
Bee: The lowly Nasarene who walked
tho shores of Galilee almost X,Ono yeara
ago crying, "Peace on earth., good will
toward men," waa neither a mountebank
nor a contortionist He did not lie with
his belly on tha platform or hla feet on
the pulpit while delivering hla divine
message to his disciples and the world,
he did not stage a vaudeville performance
for the gate receipts, he did not appeal
to the hysterical aide of human nature,
he did not threaten mankind with hell,
ho wooed humanity with love. The calm,
convincing gospel he presented eventually
christonised almost the whole civilised
world. He did not hate sinner, and he
had infinite compassion for the sins and
fall urea of Imperfect humanity. He real
ised that true conversion must be baaed
upon an Intellectual acceptance of great
truths. He did not storm or rave or
rant and the sublime truths he taught
were accepted, not only by the hearts of
men. but by their Intellects as well. He
did not ostracise the poor sinners from
the communion table of his compassion.
The mighty ocean hurl. Ita gigantic bil
low, on the coast and leavea its wreck
age on the shore, but the ship sails
safely Into tha harbor on placid aeaa and
the religion of Jesus Christ was not a
storm, but a calm.
I do not believe that humanity can be
frightened Into Christianity, I do not bo
Hejve that tha temporary Insanity of
excitement has aver brought a soul to
Ood, and I do not believe that the world
haa ever been made batter by the rant
and roar and riot of anathema or de
rrunclatlon. Men cannot ba seared Into becoming
Christiana, and In my judgment there are
no lasting converts who profess to accept
the faith under the stress and tumult of
excitement.
I am a descendant of ten generations
of Americana, all law abiding christian
men and women with hearts open In ten
derness and pity for those who go astray,
and to bring them back requires more
than the fear of punishment In this world
or the next When tha froth and the foam
of the remarkable pyrotechnlcal spec
tacular supposed revival la over, I do
not believe that there will remain for
any length of time one single soul saved
to God by all of It
, JOHN M. THURSTON'.
A I wave a Maa for the Day.
TORK. Neb.. Sept 23. To the Editor
of The Bee: I am clad to sea tha nrmmm
of Omaha pasa on, through Its pages, the
ouna preaching that Is going abroad In
the city of Omaha at this time, I can
aay with other, that I have mail tha ex
ports of Mr. 8unday'a sermons with great
interest and have been brought to realise
more than ever that God alwava haa
man for the day. E. E. M. F.
r1r Mae la Kmplsyatest.
OMAHA, Sept 23. -To tha Editor of
Tha Bee: Is there any Justice In ' the
United States, or In Omaha, for the ne
sroeaT Tou have all kinda of business
here, wholesale and retail, also great
factories, but how many negroea are em
ployed by them? What la the cause and
tha reason? Tou have all the other na
tionalities, why not us? Give ua a square
deal and we will deliver the goods.
EGO BANKS.
Dlaappwtatsaeat After Seetas; and
Ifearlagr.
OMAuA, 8ePt a,To the Editor of
The Bee: At various times In the United
States there has been raised In one way
and another for Judicial construction tha
question of what U tha purpose of a
newspaper, What 1. Its proper function
In the community, and what Its duties
and llmltatlona are? And tha general
rule laid down is that tt la not only tha
privilege, but tha duty of a newspaper
to collect and publish Impartially, and
with aubatantlal accuracy tha news and
tha current events of the day la which
the publlo are Interested.
Those af us here In Omaha who have
accepted that view are at a loss to know
why the Omaha newspapers have so sud
denly abandoned that purpose and offer
their readers practically nothing but
commercial advertising on the one hand
and free advertising oa tha other ef aa
alleged evangelist and his "sermons,"
hla personal affairs and those of the nu
merous members of his staff down to
tha last detail.
It Is true, in verification of an historic
proverb, that people are coming Into tha
city In thousanda and commercial ad
vertisers are profiting hugely by tha In
flux, but a newspaper fail. In Its duty
to the publjo when it permits lu adver
tising contracts and interests to dictate
the contents of Us new. columns to the
exclusion ot everything upon which the
general publlo wish to keep Informed.
We deem it no part of the duty of the
secular press to engage In a reUgloua or
quaal-rellgtoua crusade, but If they were
desirous of doing so, tha Omaha newspa
pers have had before them for years a
far more worthy field for such an en
deavor than they have nr. The writer
Is a Catholic and not a Protestant, but
knows that there have been and are
hundreds of ministers or all Protestant
denominations In Omaha, whose Uvea are
Identified with the Interests and welfare
of the city, who have set splendid ex
amples of cltlsenship, untiring, sincere.
God-fearing men. beside whom this per
vert Is not worthy to crawl; hut their
work, like charity, has been largely Its
own reward, and scant mention have
they received, being now assembled like
a group of delinquent Juveniles and In
sultingly rebuked by their illustrious su
perior for their short comings.
We do not disapprove without having
seen or heard. We have dona both. The
shallowness, tha gross lino ran re of the
man Is betrayed la his swaggering gait
of
and bearing. In his everr lineament
feature, and the same ls farther ttensr
fled by every sentence triet he utters.
Most amusing to us was Mr. Sunday's
attempted presentation of Paradise aad
the t-ert from Moore's Lai la Rookh. Here
Mr. Sunday essayed a display of hla
knowledge of the classics, and succeeded
only ta disclosing his appealing Ignor
ance. The Perl, ba staled, hi seeking
the moot precious thing upoa earth
brought gold aad the Jewels ts tha gate
of heaven, offering them to tha angel aa
the condition of his admlssloa there.
Nowhere la the poem are either af these
mentioned, hut aa Mr. Sunday can think
only In terms of gold his interpretation
la not surprising.
Wa have said that Mr. Sunday la at
liberty to preach and believe what ha
tabes. So also sr-i the Presbyterians.
j jjUHi.palisns, t nrisiiaa ScintWta, I nl
tartans, whom bo has made the object
of hla scurrilous and obscene denuncia
tion since coming to Omaha. Aa for tha
Catholic church It Is accustomed to such
and cares not a fig for bla Impotent rav
ings, but wa cannot believe that m such
wise la the will of the Master done or
the eomlng ef His coming .needed.
T. B. MURRAY.
CHEERY CHAFF.
"Jiggs haa a hoard of useless Informa
tion." "In what respect."
"He Is considered an authority on Inter
national law," Uuffalo Express.
Mrs. Beat Tell the gentloman I'm not
receiving todny, Mary.
Mary But he ain't dellverln', mum;
he'a cnllectin' ! Chicago Herald.
Mrs. Willis o your dauKhter Is home
from domestic science school. I suppose
she hss learned several new waya of
wenhing dlKhc.a.
Mrs. Gilllw No: she seem, to have
learned several new waya of getting out
of washing them. Judge.
A number of hisslncas men at luncheon
were giving definitions of "optimist" and
"pessimist." One ot them offered the
followlnj:
"A p-Milmlst says. Is there any milk
In that pitcher?" whereas an optimist re
marks. 'Pass tho creum, please.' "
Philadelphia Ledger.
KABiBOLE
KABARET
rAw?.KAftgf.
eVfrOS AMD HAVF KV MADE THF
OTClATfOF WIS ENWE
E-SWE. DO you THIHK IM DC
YOU SMOmBrVQRRV
He A maid must not expect such lov
ers aa she finds In books. Few men are
paragons.
Rhe Oh! I ehould not expect a para
gon. I should be satisfied with a
lover, young, handsome, brave, noble
and unselfish. Dayton Herald.
'! ant to see your beauty editor,"
said the caller at the sanctum of a pop
ular magaaine.
"Are you following her advice?"
. "I am. '
"Got confidence In Itr
"I have."
"Then you don't want to sea her."
Louisville Courier Journal.
Sunday School Teacher Did you ever
forgive an enemar?
Tommy Tuffnut Oncest
Hundsv School Teacher And vhat no
ble sentiment prompted you to do it?
Tommy Tuffnut-He was bigger dan
me. Life.
The woman of the house reached the
conclusion that the attachment of the
policeman for her cook must be Investl
5spinlne 1 " prove dl"trou to domostlo
v.?" think ba mean, business,
Bridget?" she asked.
"I think he does, mum." said Bridget
"He a begun to complain about my
wkln. mum." New York Tines.
KlfOCEOTO NOAH.
W. J. Lampton, In Judge.
Ah. Noah, you archaic one I
Who had a chance to do 1
The world a favor and did not,
Tha world Is sore on you.
There was a time in your career
When easily you could.
By very wimple means. Indeed.
Have made exceeding good.
That time, old chap, was when you'd
bunched
All living things In pairs
And had them loaded on the Ark
To land betimes sotnewherea.
Two elephants you had and two
Of every other else
And shape and sort. Including of
Two plain domes tlo flies.
Auspicious moment that was when.
If you had had a mind.
You might have truly made yourself
A friend to all mankind.
But Noah, you were derelict
And lost the glory prise
By falling, when you had tha chance.
To swat that pair ef flies.
Keeps Lit in a
Stiff Wind
The flame "flickers," of
course, but it does not go
out. '
The stick is absolutely dry
that is one reason for the
superiority of Safe Home
Matches.
Safe Home Matches are
absolutely ' non-poisonous.
For that reason alone they
should be in every home in
America.
Sc. All grocers.
Ask for them by name.
The Diamond Match
Company
r a
Tono Up Your
STOMACH
and protect yourself against the
enervating effects of the heat, by
providing; the nerves with the vital
phosphates which promote health
and vigor. The stomach snd di
gestive organs are toned and
strengthened by
IIOnSFOaD'S
Acid Fiiosphato
(N-Alcoholic)
las. a kettle at year I
n
4
v 7 a
Is? J
.' 1L Ssa'"
ro
sCa. aW
IS 111 A T T " ST
ZhLooWNX
lean eat 'em all they i
won't hurt me! That's be-
1 1 cause they're made with Calu- 1 1
1 1 met and that's why they're E J
1 1 pure, tempting, tasty, whole- 11
some that's why they won't :
hurt sny kid." tj
Reeekred Hlsaest Awards J
ns C Brnt Sear-- illf Jrif
w rsfesea" Csa. SjT
ram
People all over America testify to tht
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SlO a Koatn.
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SS.88 a BConth
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