THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BT EDWAKO ROSKWATER.
VICTOR ROSKWATKR, KDITOR.
Tee Bee Publlsnlnic Company. Proprietor.
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AIGLHT CIKCtLATIOX.
53,993
tftato ff Nebraska. County of Dotiglaa. aa:
Dwight Williams. ptrruUtlon nrnnaiw of The Baa
Publishing company, being duly sworn, aaya that the
eeiasM clrxulalkin fur the month f August, Uli.
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CtftlBlW 19 ' ' "
Thought for the Day
SaUetod by M. ElimmoHk HtwHt
- Takt joy tame
And malt p.eos in thy yrtel kmri for her.
And givo her timt to or, and ehtrith htr;
Thtn viil tht com, and oft nilt wing to (At '
Whtn the art trerkittji in Oi tvrr$,A ye
Or wmding in Vi4 omertd nour a down.
Jt it m comely fcuhion to U glad;
Joy ii the (rra m y to Ood.
Jemn Jnqtlow.
Diplomacy seems to be taking the aspect of
conned foods ready for shipment.
After the hurt come the Inquiry: Who put
Scotland yard next to Messenger Archibald?
It la rrally a shame that the A. B. C.
. tJiPdltttors do not recognize General Carranaa.
What elso are whiskers for?
Many a political boom hopefully launched on
ihe winds of-September will need a hot water
lag to loop Its feet warm before winter wanes.
T;jtaiiplgn for 'the freedom of the seas'
I,. cect'a on the theory that sending unarmed'
t hipo to tho bottom make for greater freedom.
Hero Is where theory overtakes fact.
Sonator J. Ham Lewis of Illinois Is going
abroad, not "on official business," but for pleas
ure. In the senator's copious vocabulary pleas
ure spells excitement. He is headed in the
right direction.
A body of British lnveatlgatora Is convinced
that the United 8tates will have the cream oT the
world's business after the war. Considering the
tiource, the admission marks the "irreducible
minimum" of what is coming. .
An alleged scientist seeks publicity with the
ai scrtion that "genius Is seldom or never associ
ated aith red hair." For obvious reasons the
iiatna-of the aurora-crowned belle who passed
over the mitten la not mentioned.
Our senator assured the letter carriers that
he was in line with all postal progress, but he
carefully forgot to tell them bow he fought par
cel post to the last ditch, and has his newspaper
lose no opportunity to knock on It even now.
Marae Henry Watterson ts making a punch
ing bag of the Hohensollerns and the Hapsburga
and vocally pitching them Into the hot place.
Evidently the O. O. M. of Kentucky has cut Ber
lin and Vienna out of his after-the-war Itinerary.
The shrewd genius of a David Harum la
"iaible in the real estate trading operation! of
l.ulgarla. In so many words tbe entente allies
are informed tbat Serbia must give up
Macedonia or Bulgaria will not enter the shoot
ing match.
Absence of news of war doings on both side
of the Iaonso is not due to a change In tbe thirst
for gore. Qabrlele d'Annuniio aviated over the
firing lines and bombarded the combatants with
poetic leaflets. As soon aa the victims revive
shooting will be resumed.
The Judges performed, their duties courage
ously, no doubt, in selecting "three perfect
babies" from the exhibit. It must not be In
ferred from the "obiter dicta" of the Judges that
Nebraska has only three. Every mother in the
slate knows that her s is a perfect baby.
Greater New York is shown by the state
census to have a population of 6,066,000, or
$1,000 more than the rest of the state. Tbe
preponderance of the metropolis accounts for the
fierce fight made In the constitutional conven
uon to prevent majority control of the state
legislature. Tbe minority contended, with char
acterlsUc "upstate" nerve that majority rule
in th circumstance would substitute quantity
for qual'ty, and scored a partial success. .
The ligh quality of mercy which inspires re
publicans to noble det-ds can be shown to best
advantage now by observing strict neutrality
toward the state house belligerents. Orders for
ammunition from either side may be honored, as
a matter of bulne. Tips on trench strategy
aud wire entanglements are permissable. Be
yond tbebe lawful limits political neutrals should
nut go. An cutward appearance of restrained
hatUftu tloa behl becomes a psrty whose mills
tie crowded with tbe grixt of the enemy.
Bringing Wyoming Oil to Omaha.
As oon aa freight it threaten tb ne lal
prtvllefc Omaha ejijoya In It craty nullt ttantxrta
tlon tarlffi", you may er't to har troin Its papers
In no unrrtaln tone.
Petting thla feature aside for the time being, how
ever, the farmer and Interior business nwn of Ne
braska, are ready to co-operate with Omaha to build
a pipe line from Casper to Omaha.
There are at least three waya to approach thia oil
transportation.
Precedent and the course of the least resistance
would he to petition private capital. Were the petl
tlonera sucocusful, another link would be forced in
the chain which ahacklea the people of the country
by tha public service monorolr.
Tha statea of Wyoming and Nebraska mlRht be
Induced to build this line, but tto most promising
lasua would be for tho producers ami the corstimers of
the northwest to pool with the producers of the aouth
west. who are already clamoring for a p;pn line from
Tulsa, Okl., to the gulf, and any to the poiic barrel
polltlclnna along tha Atlantic that no fortification will
be buHt on tha sandbar harbor of the deserted vil
lagea In Nw England' or "down south" unlesa those
two pipe lines are arranged for at the same time.
If the government can build a railroad In far-off
Alaska, It ran build a pipe line In Nebraska and
Wyoming. Crelghton Liberal.
It la gratifying to The Bee to have its appeal
for early development of the Wyoming oil fields
meet with approving attention. So far as The
l ee Is concerned, however, it Is not a new aglta
Con, for It has been hammering along this line
for many a year, and the raise in oil rates by the
railroads is merely the occasion, and not the
cause, for us again urging the subject.
The Bee Is not specially concerned, either, as
to hew, or by whom, the pipe line should be con
structed, whether by private capital or public
enterprise, because it would be in all respects
Mibject to regulation, and could be taken over
by the provernment whenever desired. ' For
tunately, or unfortunately, Nebraska Is so ham
pered by Its constitution that it cannot inau
gurate such an Internal Improvement on state
account, altbongh possibly the varloua counties
or smaller subdivision, might do so. Further
more, we fear tbe prospect of inducing the fed
eral government to go into the pipe line business
la not promising, the government-built railroads
In Alaska to the contrary notwithstanding. A
pipe line from the Wyoming oil field to a termi
nal at Omaha wrfuld not be so tremendously
costly tbat it could not be financed If it had the
necessary popular backing and the right men
took hold of It
Aimed at Omaha
Some Real Horrors of War.
Even "grim vitaged War" must grin as he
surveys the plight of the folks who have been
touched by the war-wave In Europe. Among
these must be listed tbe "thirst quenchers" of
Munich, whose sorrowful situation will be fully
appreciated by some of the bibulous who recall
tbe days before 8 o'clock closing in Omaha.
According to the imperial and royal regulations
.inder which beer Is now dispensed in Munich,
seventy liters la the limit of an evening's ration
for a restaurant, and this has brought about
automatically a 9 o'clock shut-down. When
the seventy liters of beer are gone, "there's
nothing to do till tomorrow," the citlien goes
home and Herr Kellner turns out the lights.
It's a merry life they lead In Munich these days.
But, when you have gased aghast aC the pic
ture of the poor burgher of Munich, held down
to his narrow ration of beer, consider the situa
tion of the London society that maintains a hos
pital for cats, and is now, by exigency of the
war, forced to make a public appeal for funds
that it may keep open Its doors. Even the
Times bas noted the gravity of this InsUtulon's
sad condition, but rather unayupathetically fb
Thunderer suggests that "this is no time to
maunder over cats."
Verily, all the horrors of war are not con
fined to the stricken battle fields, nor are the
people of Belgium and Poland the only ones to
feel the pinch of necessity!
An Unfriendly Proposal.
When a humane world woke up a score of
years ago and measured the evil results of the
opium habit forced upon the Chinese people by
the British East India company the aet was
branded as "tbe crime of the century." In the
last dosen years laws restricting the cultivation
of the poppy and prohibiting importations
have greatly reduced the use of drugs in China,
and "hitting the pipe" is almost a rarity. But
the commercial world hates to let go a good
thing and proposes "something Just as good."
It comes to this country through an American
consular officer at Shanghai and points to chew
ing gum aea substitute. All that Is needed Is
copious publicity and dragon-gilded wrappers
to make millions of Celestial Jaws work as they
nevpr worked before. Just what the Chinese
have done to the United States to warrant re
prisal does not appear. The relations of the
two republics are friendly. Expressions of good
will sugar their diplomatic exchanges. It may
be urged that Chinese republicans need the exer-.
else to limber up the maxillary Joints and pro
duce the torrent of political vocal music without
which a republic is a misnomer. Even so,
friendly regard forbids the big fellow visiting
the gum-chewing afflictions on the baby re
public, i
Alligator Tear in Wall Street
A marked disposition to crowd the stool of
repentance crops out in Wall street. That cen
ter of plain and fancy trimming shows signs of
fear lest 'the great public beyond the street
measure the whole by the sins of the few. The
Wall 8treet Journal, acknowledging the evil
deals of Rock Island and the Gould roads,
pleads for suspension of judgment until railroad
managers In self-defense, start a wholesale
houae-cleanlng. . The Journal insists that hon
estly managed roads must begin reform at home
and stick to it if they would effectually spike
tbe guns of the opposition. . A practical applica
tion of the suggested reform from within will
furnish a distant glimpse of the millealum.
It is to be noted from the unfortunate auto
mishap 'In Louisville, lavlovlng Omaha's former
High school principal, that In other cities such
a fatality Is at once followed by arrest of the
driver, who is not released except upon bond,
regardless of his rank or standing In the eosa
raunlty or his evident lack of culpability.
The imposlug value of the great American
dollar Just now depends on the point of View,
lb the eyes of Europe it bis the swell front of
a clambaker dinner. Back from aalt water the
t'olUr grows leaner every day and la as difficult
to hold as the warm end of a poker.
Lincoln Journal: It will nt ear-ape due acknowl
edgment that Omaha sent down several thousand peo
ple and helped make thelr day the biggest Thursday
In the hilory of the fair. Uncoln will reciprocate by
sending ti; hundreda every week to hear "Billy" Hun
day. If that len t considered sufficient we will throw
In a few thousand at Ak-flar-Hen time for good meas
ure. Thla visit of Omaha was enjoyed more by Lincoln
people than usual because this year we have plenty
of thlnga here that Omaha can understand. The vls
itori found that Lincoln la Jusl breaking the amall
Ity shell and la taking on the appearance and alr.i
of a metropolis. After threading their way through th.i
crowds on O atreet and watching the work on the
new building their old patronising air gave way to
one of frank admiration. They are willing to concede
how that Nebraska's aecond city la no slouch, even
If It long- ago gave up the Idea of being bigger than
Omaha. The discovery on tho part of the metropolis
that IJncoln can't be wit off the map by railroad dis
criminations will do more to promote neighborly feel
ing than anything in the recent history of the two
cities.
Hlldreth Telescope: Tho Omaha World-Herald la
about the only genuine Hitchcock paper In the state
that we know of whrCh leads ua to the conclusion
that the senator has soma rocky roads to travel be
fore he secures a re-elect'on.
i m
Culbertaon Banner: "Billy" Hunday, the ex-bail
player evangelist, has opened his Omaha meeting and
la being greeted by the usual large rrowda that at
tended hla meetings elsewhere. There Is no question
but what Omaha should be a good flald for the evan
gelist's services, but soma there are who think It
will take several Sundays to put the Nebraska metrop
olis In tha "spotleaa town" class.
Hlldreth Telescope: A wag remarked to the Tele
scope editor the other day that after "Billy" Sunday
got through with Omaha It would be no place for a
democratic national convention.
Columbus Telegram Edgar Howard): 1 like those
fine men who serve 8mson aa governors of his Ak-Har-Ben
board. Laat Monday night I was a guest at
tha Ak-ar-Bn Den. I waa In the special keeping of
two of the governors Nash and Brandela, and I ncrw
desire to offer testimony to their magnificent hos
pitality, and, appreciated protection. Both men were
aware of my neaiins diatlnctlon. Both men knew
that In my handa will next year be deposited tbe power
to confer f.e greatest prise which any Omaha man
covets, and yet so beautiful waa their hospitality that
they boldly rebuked an Omaha man of not who tried
to get me to promise him an appointment as election
commissioner for the metropolis. In the early hour
following my inauguration I ahall have fine recollec
tion of the gracious treatment accorded me by Ak-Bar-Ben,
and In thoaa hours the Omaha politician
who shall approach me for a favor Will receive noth
ing better then the atony stare unless he shall bear
In hla hand the endorsement of tho board of Ak-8ar-Ben
govemore In general, and the signatures of Nash
and Brandela In particular.
97c &cci
Twice Told Tales
t"aderad His Prwfeaaloa.
The professor of jurisprudence In a western uni
versity was lecturing to a hundred embryo lawyers
He aaked whether anyone In America could own prop
erty. On fellow answered, "No; a criminal can't owu
property."
But the professor aald. "Suppose e man own a
ranch, get into trouble with hla neighbor, assault
htm. and l put into tha penitentiary. Doe ha still
own the ranch T"
The claa was unanimous that be did.
"If b did not continue to own it." went on th
professor, "what would become of It?"
That was eupposed to aettle the discussion, ' bu;
on boy called out: "The lawyer would get It"
There waa a hearty laath, of course, end the pro
fessor added:
"We learn two thing from the apt remark be a
lawyer, and don't be a criminal." Youth's Companion.
eltewd la (he Doetar.
Mr. Griffin had apent an anxious afternoon at thn
office end hurried home at an unusually early hour.
"How do you feel, dear? What did the doctor
aayT" h questioned his wife aa h lay on the couch,
her eye half closed.
"Oh. he asked me te put out my tengue," he
murmured.
"Tear
"And after looking at Tt he said, 'Overworked.' "
Mr. Orlffln heaved an audible algh of relief. 'I
have perfect faith In that doctor, Mabel," aald ha
firmly. "Tou will have to give It a rest" Chicago
News. ,
eaelrhed Hlsa.
An effeminate, setf-oplnionated young man ''en
tered a' restaurant the other day. and after he bad
ordered lunch the waitreas, who was well known for
her obliging disposition and ready wit. handed him a
newapaper so that he might profitably while away
th fw minute, that would elapse before he was
served.
"Thank you. Josephine." h aald familiarly, "but
I prefer something funny to look at while I am
eating."
Th waitreas looked at hint contemptuously, thon
replied: 1
"That need occasion you no Inconvenience, Percy;
titer' a looking glaaa straight in front of you!"
PltUburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
Trst Frteadsala.
Two boy, one tha possessor of a permit, were
fishing en a certain estate when a gamekeeper sud
denly darted from a thicket The lad with tha permit
tittered a cry of fright dropped hi rod and ran off
at top apecd. Tha gamekeeper waa led a swift chaaa.
Then, worn out. tha boy halted. The man aelsed him
by the arm and said between pants:
"Have yen permit to flan on thla eatate?"
"Y. to be sura." said tha boy, quietly.
"Yeu have? Then ehow it to ma."
Th boy drew the permit from hi pocket. The man
examined It and frowned in perplexity and angar.
"Why did you run when, you had this permit?"
ha asked.
"To let the other boy get awy," waa the reply
"He didu't have aone!"-Plttaburgh Chronicle-Telegraph.
A lister 'Halt.
The eelf-made man stalked Into the office of a
great financier with whom he had an appointment.
"You probably don't remember me." he began, "but
twenty year ago. whan I waa a poor messenger boy,
you gave me a message to carry "
"Tea. yea!" cried tha financier. "Where's the an
swer?" Hta Francisco Argonaut
Neat and tasty invitations have been Issued for th
celebration of tha sliver wedding of Mr .and Mrs
George H.' Orlgor on tha twenty-second of this month.
Tha report that Ella Glah and George MeUlock
are contemplating a mill of soft gloves. Marquis of
Queenabury ruloa, la denounced by both gentlemen aa
unqualifiedly falsa.
lax I -ens u the happy daddy of a bouncing girl
baby. Just arrived.
Captain J. M. Wood ia back from tha Beatrice re
union, which h reports a great success,
i Tha finder of a Poll parrot la promised a liberal
reward for returning It ta 141 Dodajs street, upatalra.
The sermon toplo of Rev. W. J. Haraha of the
First Presbyterian church was "Common Sense In
Religion; Why Are PiffleulUe to be Pound In the
BlWe,"
At th German Methodist church Re. J. Tanner ef
Lincoln preached both morning and evening.
Olin M. Iavenport. steward of the MJIard hotel,
has gone on a visit to hta old home In Troy, N. Y.
Edward Canan of St. Clair, Mlrh , Is visiting hla
brother, C. J Canan, and thinks strongly of locating
heir
The Hair oa Mayer "Jim's" Head.
OMAHA, Sept 11. To the Ldltor of
The Bee: The mayor of San Francisco
said to "Billy'" Sunday: "We cannot af
ford to let anyone Into our city to take
a lot of money out who has nothing to
give In return." Our Mayor Dahlman
takes the opposite View (being religiously
Inclined). "Hilly" says that "Jim" la a
fine fellow, without a crooked hair on
hla head. Yes, "Jim" la a fine fellow.
His head ia aa fine as potlxhed marble,
but aa to crooked hairs, la In keeping
with "Billy's" Hit and Misa sayings
(splutter without knowing). Aa a matter
of fact, their Is neither straight nor
crooked hair on Dahlman'e head. Of
late there haa been scarcety anything In
the papera but "Billy" Sunday. In order
to keep the pot boiling, you probably
will publish t,he following verves.
P. WHO.
Note: Verses omitted.
Moat Weaderfal Man.
SOUTH SIDE. OMAHA." Sept. 11 -To
the Editor of The Bee: While some peo
ple who have never heard him stand off
on dlatant mole hllla and fire popguna
at him, and try to belittle his great mis
sion, I believe "Billy" Sunday is the
most wonderful man of this generation.
He la a general In hia line, and hla name
should go down in history as far more
brilliant than that of the general who
may win the greatest renown from the
Present deplorable war raging In Europe.
The shafts of enemiea cannot reach him
on the mountain top, for he haa reached
the heights from which no enemy can
dislodge him.
There la no living man. In my estima
tion, who can aay ao many thing of
worth and make ao many tolling points
and aay ao many new things every time
he talks aa can Sunday.
F. A. AONEW.
far-A way Appreciation.
DENTON, Tex.. Sept. lO.-To the Editor
of The Bee: Your eulogy of the Sisters
of the Good Shepherd la reproduced by
"Our Sunday Vlaltor." Your kind regard
for these noble women and your refer
ence made to them In The Bee will do
much to counteract their vile persecutors.
May you continue to give a helping hand
to those who are fallen and friendless.
RAYMOND VERNIMONT, Priest.
ftheaU the Tralnla Class Got
OMAHA, Sept li.-To the Editor tJ
The Bee: Foaslbly so, but not on the
strength of excuses given by the school
board members, who discontinued it en
tirely on their own initiative without con
sultlng the wlahea of the people.
First The ineffedency charge. Is, as
everybody knowa, not a fact and not
only reflects on the Intelligence and teach
ing ability of a large number of the
grade teachera but la also a slap at the
parents of these young women. I be
lieve that the teachers referred to
will compare favorably with thoae who
have had the additional college course
or any other class of teachera in, the
grades, for the training they receive, or
ahould receive. In practical teaching ex
perenoe before they begin to draw a
iteachera' aalary, ahould really, fit them
better for the task than all the college
training In America. I do not mean to
'belittle colleges either.
Aa to the aecond excuse. It is more than
likely that the public school treasury haa
aaved for more money because of the
training claaa, than it haa paid out to
maintain it alnce it first started. For
Inatance, caaea have been brought to my
notice, where training claaa teachera have
filled regular teacher's places almost from
the start saving the city $30 to $60 per
month, they receiving only $10 per month
for the work. Perhaps, they ahould not
have been permitted to do ao, but they
ware.
It is a direct affront to the middle
class cltlsen. unable financially, to send
their children away to college. The dis
continuance of the training claaa takes
away the only chance their girla have to
beoome teachers, and should not be tol
erated. Lastly, th dtlxens should demand that
we keep our word good with lost year's
graduates, who expected to enter the
training claaa thla fall and were not
permitted to do so. Th word of the
titlaena of Omaha, not the word of the
achool board, la out to these young peo
ple and that word ahould be kept.
W. B. PEAK E,
1918 South Thirty-fifth Avenue.
Boelallana'a Dissent.
OMAHA. Sept 11 -To h Editor of
The Bee: "I am no socialist" shouted
"Billy" Sunday et one of his meeting
several day ago, and fully 6,000 people
applauded. It waa a pitiful spectacle, a
heart-rending exhibition of hypocrisy and
Ignorance; let ua be kind and say it was
mostly the latter.
Mr. Sunday may consign to fire and
brimstone those who dlaagree with him,
but I ahall not retort In kind. It ia bet
ter to be known as a friend than an
enemy of religion, and to propound the
truth too bluntly might lead some to
misunderstand. Mr, Sunday speaka much
truth. He also apeaka what la not true,
and this It is that calls for reply.
"You cannot produce good conduct "by
mere legislation." claims Sunday. Who
aaya that you can? Certainly not the
socialist That statutes are not tbe
source of morality la a big basic element
In the aoclalist philosophy. There la
hardly a limit, however, to the efficacy
of law when backed by widespread, in
telligent public opinion.
Ne socialist haa the apace allotted to
Mr. Sunday. Thla fact compela me to
close before I have hardly begun. Th
truth, though hampered, however, can
not be killed. It must and rt will be
triumphant Shower of material and
spiritual bleaalnga are In store for man
kind. Christian and Jew. Protestant and
Catholic, believer and nonheliever work
ers of the world, let ua reach out and
take hold of our heritage.
KDMCND R. BRL'MBAl'GH.
SJU3 North Twenty-eighth Street
tiaoal aad Had la Eyavythla.
OMAHA, Sept. lt-Te the Editor of
Tha Bee: W. O. Work ham. whoaa name
doaa not appear in the directory, aaya
In your columna that I represent Inter
ests which coin money by sending eoula
to Veil, and offera aa evidence a visit
to our Jails, poor farms and drunkard'a
homea.
Th Interests I hav tha honor to rep
resent manufacture a commodity for
which there ia a publlo damaud to tha
extent of about UO,0M,0u gallona per an
num, a very large portion of which la
uaed for medicinal and kindrwd purposes,
la hoapltala, etc That a portion of that
product, and It I a very amall propor
tion Indeed, ahould be abuaed by a few
unfortunate weaklings la deplorable. Yet
I have never heard that tha powder
manufacturer 1 denounced because a cer
tain part of hia product la used for mur
der, or for the accidental killing of people
on the Foutrh of July. I have never
heard gluttony and Ita resultant misery
and ehorteniog of life charged up to the
manufacturer of food.
. As there are bad lawyers end bad
preaitieis, and haa bankers, ao there are
bad saloon men, and politics, not the
dlntiilers sre responsible for the latter;
In fact the distiller realises that the
greateet enemy of his business ta the
drunkard and the law violator. Therefore,
If "Hilly" Sunday, monumental grafter
though he ia, will succeed In rifor lng
the drunkards he will have my unstinted
applause for selfish as well aa for un
selfish reasons. A. L. MEYER.
Paa Billy'' In the t'lreaa Claaa.
OMAHA. Sept. 12. -To the Editor of
The Bee: As a citizen of Omaha for a
great many years It la indeed gratifying
to note the smallnesa of the collections
at the "Billy" Sunday meetings, aa It
indicates more clearly than anything
else could the fact that Omaha doea not
Intend to be bled to the extent of other
cltlea by this traveling blasphemer of
God. People are looking upon his antlca
merely In the light of a circus, and that
they consider It a mighty cheap circus
ia evidenced by the measly collections.
ThHt his whole scheme Is of getting
the money was clearly proven at his
opening meeting, aa It la on record that
Just about the first thing he started to
rave about waa the collections and he loat
no time In taking up one,
JOHN W. HENDERSON.
31 South Thirty-first Street.
A resident of Omaha for thirty years
and a Methodist church-goer.
Kvanarellata vs. l.oenl Preachers.
OAKLAND, la., Sept 12. To the Editor
of The Bee: There la a command within
the llda of tho Blblo to "Go ye In all the
world and preach the gospel." That com
mand may have worked well In the age It
waa given, and among those appointed to
spread the plan of salvation among a
fallen race. But the self-appointed pres
ent day evangelists have some of us
democrats guessing.
Today they come with "hip-hoop and
hurrah," erect a tabernacle in our midst
A gang comes later riding In a palace car.
Great la the gusto. The man of power
begins his labors with gesture and
gyration of body to attract attention
which would land the average local mini
ster in an Insane asylum.
But times have changed. The local
minister ia relegated to a back aeat for a
period of not to exceed seven weeka.
Drones have been found, and pointed out
in the local camp of workera. The mini
ster who will remain with ua when the
evangelist la forgotten, must now aaslst
with his prayers.
I have no personal feellnws agalnnt any
man going about following the "meek
and lowly," but the local minister shares
our Joys and sorrows. He ia with us In
sicknesa and health, and when the time
comes to shuffle off the mortal coll,
stands ready to aid with human sym
pathy, prayers and tears. Up goes Our
hat for the home minister egatnat all
comers. THOMAS J. HILDEBRAND.
LINES TO A LAUGH.
Mies Vine Io you favor women pre
posing? Mrs. Osk-Certinlv not. When
woman plrks out a mn she should miike
htm propose. Houston Poet.
Mrs. Jonslng-Dls hyah new mlniMer si.i
r t urn 'e lennest an
skinniest voun m.m I eb' nh see.
Mrs. Black Yes, an' he done tole nml'
Klllhanit ahal welctht 211 to OCWSr led'
he should le weighted In de balance
. an' foun wantln'. Puck.
"I henr that vou have come out stron r
for prohibition.''
''Yes." replied I'ncle Pill Bottletoiv
"There ain't a Houor seller In a rnrllui
of ten miles that'll ffive me any mnr
credit, tin' I went to git even somehow."
n asmngion X'oei.
"Isn't timt a beautiful picture! Fsvrh"
at naturea mirror; a young girl gazing
IOOI.
kind of
at her reflection In the pellucid pool
"Pah! I don't care for that I
If you gar.ed Into the
an old crab." Louis-
am ft.'
"I suppose not.
water, you'd see
Courier Journal.
"I ve Just bought a setter." said Blith
ers. "That's some coincidence I've Just had
one wiphed on me," mi Id Blithers.
"Mine's a Oordon," snid Hilt hers.
"M ne's a hired man," aald Slither.
New York Tlmca.
"How vseless eirls are lodav T rt..
! believe you know what needles are for.''
; "How absurd you are, grandma," pro-
tested the gil l. "Of nurse I know
what needles are ror. They're to make
the graphophone play." St Louie Republic.
A WEDDING INCIDENT.
P.utte Miner.
In a corner stiff and solemn.
Like an Icy, graven column,
All unnoticed, stood a fellow.
Who waa shrouded deep in gloom
He waa wilting at the collar.
And, thought I, I'll bet a dollar
That that and and lonely person
Is the groom.
That dress ault looks discontented.
Just c thought 'tis one he's rented.
And the bout innlero he's wearing
Long ago had lost Ita bloom;
No one shakes his hand to cheer him,
No one offera to go near him.
It's a moral cinch, this minute.
He'a the groom.
Hla grim countenance perusing
Thus 1 stood there Idly musing,
And, I thought. I'll go and tell him
He haa friends about the room;
I will go nd kindly gteet him:
Say I'm very glad to meet him:
I will whisper words of kindneAs,
To the groom.
While the bride the guests are kissing
All the Joy of life he's missing,
I will gayly aay the altar
After all Is not the tomb.
I will any, "Come on, be Jolly,
'Tla no time for melancholy,"
And that way I'll rouee the spirits
Of the groom.
So I promptly stepped up to him.
Just aa thought 1 really really knew him.,
flapped hla back and with my elbow
Gave his rilwtHe crack of doom;
Winked my eye and aald, "Be merry,
'Tie a glad occaalon, very;
Just remember at thla wedding
You're the groom!"
Then he answered with a bellow,
"Now don't you get gay, young fellow.
Or I'll rush you mighty sudden.
From the room;
Since you've asked me why my presence.
I am guardin' all these presents,
I'm Detective. Mike McGinn la.
Not the groom."
HOTELS.
HOTELS.
C7i
i uorn
Clarke
Madison,
Chicago
Heut
Jn the
.Heart
Every Room with a
Bath
Ml MO i
S3 Shtfh
Home
of the
Boston
Oyster House
Famous for its unexcelled
; . Kvu.ui6
uiono, cuiu xu oi gaiety ana gooa cneer.
Dine in the Dutch Grill
The most convenient meeting place in the loop, an
artistic room where food and service are supreme.
The Hotel of
li!
Perfect Service
' feraowai Mmnmgmmnt of
Harry C
Mo!
ii eh:
SCHOOLS AXD COLLEGES.
SCHOOLS AND COLLEGES.
Nebraska Military Academy
XaTOO0 XATBS )
.... ,IrR BOY n,u,t be Properly educated and developed The NEBRASKA
MILITARY ACADEMY tine. s a school close to home, where vou ran aend
him and be aure that he geta what you want him to have. This fcCHOOJ.
understands hoys and deals with them individually. Preparea for coli. ua and
buslneaa. For Information talk to our patrons, visit the school, phone or
write for catalogue. Address.
COLONEL B. D. HAYWARD, President
Lincoln. Neb.
i
ST. .DUN'S JUUIAJtr M..0L, lisata,!, S -a, hat.,
pavalopment of character and Individ jallty com
prUa the rloua work of this achool. Thoron
preparation for co tic or buslnesa; accredited b
3 3. . ...... e"v,rr boy reeeivea cartful an
rpeciai instruction In Ath
lllfl aw.Anul..-
t campus, cutll
i-r acjol tor younger bov
w . i i m . ! ok on request
MrAJOB W. t OiHMH, Ootnmaaeent.
State Unlverelty. Ev
2? j"!1IVV. individual attention
aSv -rar? '"'' Modern buildi
ZmtfZL. flrt equipment. I.
Z r J with verv careful au
rUrttil PARK;!
KROKUEH riAKO
Nataron: Carter.
Iota isar.
luM eas Jaaior I'altottM as Preparatory Car.
tirtcats IU ta all Cllta. BlsrMkWa. Public
SoSeel. Murk, lotla. Art. uraumai, Sifcl. 11.
bmim Scisaca. Aaaa
a 1'airaa. ITssteral.
St- Uwta.
UIIIVEDSI1V
Advertising it th ptndu.
lam that keeps baying
and Belling in motion.