THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNPED BY EDWAR") RQjEWATFR.
VICTOR RQ8KWATKK, KDITOR.
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rr.K mriLDiNu, farnh and fevkntekntu.
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CORRESPONDENCH,
KdHiit . Mnmunlratlnne ratatlnr to
tori a I nW.ter to Omaha b, Editorial
anil e4t
Department,
JULY ClUCULATIOJI.
53,977
Htt of Nebraska. County of nmiajlsa, as.:
Dwlght Wllhsms. rlr-ulntlon manager of THe Pee
Putillshiua; company. Mnn duly worn. ssye that tha
avrraire circulation for tha moiith of July, 1V16. a
177.
PWinHT W1LUAM, Circulation Mnnaaar.
FuhscrMjed in mv prenre ana awora to iwfore
me. this M ilav of August. 11B
ftOUEHT HUNTER. NoUry Public
fiutioVrilwra leaving tho ity tmporarll
Khoold have The He mailed to thorn. Ad
drras will bo changed a often aa request!.
r
AWtt
Thought for the Day
5ecd by John N. Davit
Who hath a bosk, hmth tut to read
A hi may b a king, itulttd.
Hi kingdom is hit inyle nock
All thi it hi wh hath a be,.
h'tlbit.
All quiet on the Potomac
banished the war cries.
Friendlr words
Another 8edan day la soon coming. What
urprise la In atore for Ita celebration thla time?
A Oeorfla cong ressman long ago annwcred tho
QtieaUon. "What will Georgia do?" "Georgia,"
he aald, "will emit chewed wind."
Prophecy la a mighty dangeroua role. Thoao
who knew In advance exactly what Germany
would do about It have aeveral more gueeaea
coming.
Poaalbly the Washington administration could
be Induced to arrange safe conduct to the other
aide for Colonel Roosovelt and let him settle this
lielglum grievance on the spot.
Aa The Bee baa stated before, It Is not near
aide, or far-aide, but the name side that counts.
Let ui have the rule settled for street car stop
ping and stick to it without constant and con
fusing changes.
Soldiers' families In Great Britain are re
ceiving government assistance at the rate of
t200,ft00,000 a year. Thla is one of the many
big Items of war cost, equaling a per capita tax
of 4.40 on the population of the United King
dom. Inland state executives attending the gov
ernors' conference have been permitted to re
view the Atlantic fleet and witness a mimic sea
battle. Incidentally, they will also all be en
rolled In the Greater Navy league as boosters for
big battleship appropriations.
The Bee welcomes communications to Its
letter box, and is gratified by the continued and
Increasing Interest in this column, but it must
again caution contributors against the tendency
to Indulge In odious personalities. They should
understand that a lot of letters fait to get past
the waate basket on thla account.
The president of China has Induced his
American adviser to "let the cat out of the bag."
China, he says, is not suited to a republican
form of government and will thrive best under
monarchy. If that agreeable suggestion does
not secure the adviser a peacock feather, or
other suitable reward. Yuan Shi Kal will be
written down an Ingrate.
i 1
Manitoba reaches far below the boundary
and plucks the halos of graft from the brows
of Pennsylvania's political contractors. The
latter made away with a measly (5,000,000 of
loot In building the state capltol. Double that
urn disappeared In extras in the construction of
the Manitoba parliament house. The few Peaa
sylvanlana who survived the Harrisburg orgy so
donbt will welcome revelations which throws
them into the shade.
Clearing Away the Cloudi.
Von IH'thiiinn-lfollwog's rl'-rlsration that r,r
ti.aiy Is arxlfiiis to kerp on frlrndly footing with
the I nlt1 Slntos will have a rieridedly riawur
Iiir rffort on tho ppople, who hae t'cn appre-h-nnle
of tho outcome of the Arabic cae. The
rxpreaKlon of the German chancellor that whon
the fact are all at hand It will he "ponxlble to
ray whether the commander of one of our sub
marines went beyond his Instruction" Is the most
PiKnlflcant utterance an to Germany's changed
httlf.ude since we protested Its methods of pub
.ea campaign. Coupled with this Htatement Is
the further announcement that In such event the
United States will receive complete satisfaction,
and on this assurance th Hltuatlon must rest
until further official word from Germany com
pletes the cane.
As the kalHer'p government has been very
frankly advlwed what alone the United State
would eoDHlder complete aatlnf action, the Inti
mation of the chancellor Is all the more weighty.
Unleas we rcftino to concede his sincerity the In
terview Justifies the conclusion that he expects
to be quite an concise and open in his final dec
laration as our government ban been In its com
munications on the subject.
While the Incident is by no moans fully
closed, It seems In a fair way to be settled, with
a happy outcome to a serious crisis.
Omaha's Milk Supply.
Much reason for congratulating the citizens
of Omaha Is found In the report of tho govern?
nent sanitary innpectors on the milk supply of
tho city. It Is of the best, and the expert In
charge of the work of Investigation says he has
no suggestions to make for its Improvement.
1 bis is a very satisfactory state of afralrs, tor
much of the public health and welfare dependH
on tho quality of the milk used by the people.
The condition has not been established without
effort, and The Bee has every reason for prldo
in Its share of the accomplishment. When the
cnmpalgn to clean up the local dairies and im
prove the quality of the milk served our citizens
was commenced, seven or eight years ago, The
I ce found itself, as usual, alone as a champion
of the movement. It was compelled to face
angry representatives of the dairymen, threat
ening damage suits, and all sorts of other re
prisals, but it steadily gave Its support to the
health officers of the city and made the fight a
vrlnner. Since then it has been compelled to
further oppose proposed action of milk produc
ers, notably when a concerted movement to put
up the price was exposed and thwarted. Oina
tin's milk supply is the best, and The Bee pro
poses it shall be always kept clean.
Mutt Develop the Wyoming Oil Fields.
Tho readjustment of rates, upward, of
course, on oil shipped Into Omaha from the
Oklahoma and Kansas fields emphasizes the de
sirability of more rapid development of the
Wyoming oil lands as the natural source of sup
ply for this territory. It has long been known
that there are vaHt deposits of fuel oils In the
mountains in the states to the northwest of Ne
braska, and a measure of development has al
ready taken place, but the possibilities have
w arcely been touched.
Yet even now one great railroad system has
ulready converted all Its motive power west of
the Missouri river to oil burners with demon
strated satisfactory results. The transportation
question, however' which does not trouble the
railroads must be met to make a market for
other consumers, for all the Wyoming oil used
elsewhere muBt still be shipped in tank cars.
'If this oil can be made ptpeable, with an unin
terrupted down-grade from the mountains to the
Missouri river, Omaha would become the natural
distributing outlet, and our numerous perplex
ing problems of fuel and power would be to a
great extent solved. Bo we say the development
of the Wyoming oil fields should be expedited,
because that would mean more for Omaha than
my other one big project to bo tackled In the
near future.
Keavii and the Red Tape.
Congressman-elect Reavls of the First Ne
braska district hasn't taken his seat under the
deme at Washington yet, but he has learned a
very serviceable lesson, just the same. He has
found out In his earliest official encounter with
the administration In Its stronghold Just how
little of real importance attaches to a rure mem
ber of congress when it comes to the details of
postofflce management. Here the efficiency In
cpector's report is the guide to service. Of
course, it may be wrong, for the inspectors are
not infallible, but once the report has been made
nd approved, nothing can cbongo It until
another Inrrector makes another report. - Just
now the democrats are taking advantage of this
routine rigidity to scrimp and pinch In the post
office, that they may make a showing et
economy, regardless of the needs of the publle
service. Congressman Reavls may not be able
to got the delivery service at Lincoln restored,
as he' ought to, but he should be able to evolve
out of his new experience some suggestions for
improvement In the postal service.
"Danielizing" the Navy
.Vha Havy.
IF ANT pcracn rmnrda aa InnlKnlfliant flcrotary
TianMa native ability, or. perhapa nnn mlani
tx-ttr say, 'rutctifna," aueh a nnf Atcn Mr. Inn-l-ls
a M-ri.iua InJuMIc. It In prrhapa true that Mr.
Ianl"la known little tr notlilng about trm navy, and
prhap trua that he haa no nporlal taat for tho
datlra of his present office. It Ik onvlnua that whrn
he flrt came to the Navy department hla mind
nccupieii in lmpremlna; upon the navy tils fada of
personal conduct, and utlllilna; the newa value of hla
position for pToonal advertisement. Hla method
during (Ma pciiod were more or l"s haphazard, bo
Icnped from crag to crag, one day prating on the
navy aa a national unlveralty, the next flying In the
face of human experience and prohibiting the uac of
a iperlflc preventive for a world-old disease, ncitt
we hear of hla Ignoring boards and established agen
cies of administration, only to create, or to aay that
lie bus created, new onea. Again we hear of hla
sanctioning the marriage of a moving picture actreaa
on board a naval vessel; attain we hear of hla order
ing that midshipmen shall not cheer their team at
the base ball games. In all jf thla there la an Incon
sequence and apparent folly which might lead on
to think that Mr. Ijanlrla haa no sense.
Following tlila period of merry experimenting, and
lis public Interest In the service begins to wax, Mr.
Jjanlcls apparently saw that lie must assume a mora
serious attitude In the matter. He ceased to prate
of hla national unlveralty, and attempted to bambooalo
the public Into thinking that our navy in every re
spect Is the grcateat In the world, and that he. Jo
sephua Daniels, haa made it ao. Hut this won't do.
The public Is not bamboozled quite as easily as Mr.
Knnlela thinks. The public aaka for facta and fig
urea, It compares gun ranges, recorda of target prac
tice, speeds of vessels, aska where are our scouts
ami auxiliaries, and Mr. Daniels begins td take a
more serious Interest. He no longer makes wild and
lll-consldcrofl statements, he picks out thla thing or
that thing, and by specious presentation gets part of
the public to thinking that he la really doing some
thing. He nppointrd t nc officer to command the sub
marine flotilla, end makes a great pother about that.
In aplto of the fact that It la no new thing he haa done.
Again be spcril.-a vT his advisory council, and again
Ihere la great pother, but again It la no new thing,
and Bo on with the torpedo deBtroyer, with the aero
plane, and what notT
Iltit never doea Mr. DnnlHa fall to get public notice
for all this, nor la he lacking In Ingenuity, and a sense
of the picturesque; an witness Ms widely heralded
"Inventions Pourd." But the public becomea more
and more Interested; it aska questions. Mr. Daniels
cannot always get the officers of the department to
answer these questions as he wishes. Moreover, aome
officers will Insist upon speaking thclr mind, whether
they are called upon to do ao by Mr. Danleli or not,
but Mr. Ianlela must have expert official statements
to back up his fantastic public utterances. How Is
he to get them?
Here It la that Mr. Daniels provea that he la cute.
He will 'Danlellse" the navy. One by one the more
outspoken and less amenable officers are ordered
from Washington, or, at any rate, detached from duty
in the department-one goea to the war college, an
other to aoma ship, another to some special duty, and
bo on. Their places, in the meantime, are filled with
more compliant material, or material that la expected
to bo more compliant. It la not intended to Intimate
that Secretary Dnnlela' official family la composed
solely of acquiescent officers, afraid to speak their
own mind, but It Is only too evident that Secretary
Daniels has ngaln and again detached one or another
officer from Washington for no other apparent reason
than that the officer could not see everything In the
service In the aame rosy llRht that keeps Mr. Daniels
cheerful.
Thus, we have Admiral Flake, whose high recog
nlied abilities lie in special fields, ordered away from
Washington, and with solemn farce told to study at
ine war college. We see other aldea Ignored and or
dered away. We see the general board weakened by
similar ordera to Ita members, and shortly we sea
Mr. Daniels aurroum'Jng himself with a happy official
family, Indulging In the simple delights of an ex
change of birthday dinners, and other Innocent and
pretty ga ye tics. And now If Congressman Gardner,
or aome other coarse and unfeeling person, questlona
the perfection of our target practice, the speed of
our battleships, completeness of our complements
aboard ahlp, or any other one of the many declarod
perfections of our fleet, Mr. Daniels' little band of
ready writers and Danlellxed experte, are at hand
to give In delightfully general and Indefinite terms
most satisfactory assurances that everything la right,
and that Mr. Daniels himself Is ever vigilant to order
a new board, or create a new agency for making our
navy not only "a peace-maker, but a pace-maker."
The belief la growing In many quarters that when
President Wilson shall have given further serious
thought to what la needed by the country In the way
of naval and military defense, and that when he shall
have fully determined In his own mind the essential
steps to be taken, and the program to be recommended
to congress, ho cannot fall to overlook the fact that
the one most essential step should be to rid himself
of Mr. Daniels, as he was rid of Mr. Bryan.
Twice Told Tales
iiAi mjm tuts Witt
The residence of John R. DoUn on fouth Eleventh
street witnessed the fiiar lings of Mlaa Annie R. ISvana,
sister of Mrs. Dolan, and Mr. A. R. Johnaton of IV
Moines. Rev. E. O. Foalsr officiated, and a wedaintf
supper followed. Tbe bride's costume waa blue silk
and oriental lace, with rlejant court train, over which
fell the bridal velL
The roof of the B. tt M. headquarters bullng Is
being taken off, preparatory to putting oa a fouith
lory.
Kauffman Bros, of thla city have secured the
luslve cigar ooneeaalone for the fairs at Oman and
Lincoln.
Rabbi Benson arr1d from Owenaboro, Ky., to as
sume tbe pastorate of the Congregation of Israel.
Miss Friedman, who haa been visiting frlenda In
Oinuha for some time paat, left for ber home la De
troit. D. T. Nolte of Columbus, O., is the guest of C. K.
Msynard on Sherman avenue.
Charles Bherman left tor a vacation trip ta Iowa.
Chhrles ileyn of Detroit is visiting bis brother,
r. corse IK) ii. of this city.
Tr eleaot residence of iiUhop Worthlngton on
'o hi. Tento ia aearty completed.
Craft Disclosures in Canada.
Rlght-mladed people find no pleasure in not
ing the downfall of men ia high places, but as
lone as wen will err and later get caught, some
little consolation may be extracted from the
thought that all crooked politicians do not re
side on this side the Canadian border. Quite a
covey of grafters have Just been aacovered at
Winnipeg, and the fact established that a con
siderable portion of the loot went Into a cam
paign fund to aid the combine la retaining Us
t old on the provincial government. We have
been long accustomed to receiving moral lec
tures from our Canadian cousins, who have
never spared to point out our shortcomings, and
now and again to express their profound grati
fication that they are not as the Yankees are,
but maybe we will hear less of thla In the fu
ture. The disclosures at Winnipeg show that
they do have politics in Canada, and when they
to in for that aort of thing, they make a thor
ough job of It.
Search Before Meudlas.
A Chlcngo woman haa been noted alnce girlhood
for her ready wit.
The other day a young amateur humorist ex
claimed In her presence:
"What eould be more dreadful for a woman than,
after mending her husbands coat, to find In one
of the pockets a love letter from another woman T"
i "Fortunately," was the answer, "that could never
happen. The woman would find the letter first, anl
I then she would not mend the coat." Chicago Herald.
A Frlea of lloaey aaoeaers.
A happy couple were on their way to Scotland
They had to change trains at Carlisle, and an obliging
porter, while struggling with the luggage, noticed that
the young lady'a hair was dotted with lice. He ap-
preached the young man and, pulling a folded paper
from Ms pocket, aald:
'A present for you, air, with the company'a com
'. rUmenta."
! "Indeed," aald tbe traveler, "what is Itf
"A railway map, air."
"Oh. thank you; but what are these marks In bine
p-ariir-
"That's the beauty of iu str; these marks show
Just where the tunnela are and their length." Pitts
burgh. Chronicle-Telegraph.
People and Events
Teach bookkeeping, teach typewriting, teach
telegraphy, teach brasg band music, teach cook
ins, teach foot ball tactics in fact, tench every
thing but teaching, seems to be the proposed
program for our Omaha public schools.
Three-dollar-a-seat movies have arrived on the
Great White Way of New Tork City. Enterarlae la
ever ready to ahow lobsters where to blow their
money.
Sam Davidosa, a barker of Philadelphia, Is clalmod
by aix young women as their "loving husband." In
a bunch they confronted him in court, and the vocal
and vlaual bombardment of deceived women raised
Ham's esteem for police protection, dam Is only 113
but he is "going like sixty."'
The state of M'nneaota la not satisfied with reports
of tbe executors of the estate of Frederick Weyer
haeuser lumber king, showing a fortune of 11,143,000.
Inheritance tax ferrets believe the fortune la nearer
trAOno.000, and have considerable proof tor their be
lief. On the Utter sum the inheritance tax would be
around MM.Ou). The atate needa the money and prom'
tses to go after It.
The "lat son of the revolution" Aid not pass away
tn the death of Asaph Terry of Connecticut, recently
reported. Ac least one other lives, probably more
A correspondent of the iprinKfleld (Mesa ) Republican
cites Jeremijh r'mlih of Cambridge aa a eurvlvlng
son of a rev ulutionary aoliller, who served under Gen
era! John ilark and waa wounded In the battle of
liennlnxten. Mr. Smith ia 71 Ha haa served aa asso
ciate Justice of the supreme court of New Hampshire
Saliva Spreads Disease.
OMAHA, Aug. 2H. To the Kdltor of
The lice: In Omaha the vat conductors
hand passengers their transfer slips soiled
with saliva. This rractlce is not allowed
in Kurope. In France and otlwr conti
nental countries the conductor haa a
amall rubber attachment to the thumb,
wMeh enables the slips to be removed
from the pad. A finger cot, or anything
similar 1ll answeri
In libraries leaves may be turned read
ily by the use of a rubber tip on a pencil
In place of moistening the finger Ail
such deposit of saliva tends to the spread
of diseases. We have even seen a woman
at a bridge party moistening her thumb
before handling the cards. RKPIDKNT.
Declines the Honor.
SOCTH tilDH. OMAHA. Aug. 3J.-To
tlws Editor of The l!ee: 1 want to thank
J. V. for hus auKUestlnn that A street l o
named for ine, hut he does me too mm h
honor and I will most gracefully decline
the proffered honor.
I am In favor of having the north and
south streets renumbered as soon as it
can be done by th city comtnlsidoners,
but to leave the namea the same as lie
fore, except when they dugslicate the
names of streets of the original city of
Omaha.
I want this part of the city called
Omaha, for there la no such place as
South Omaha, aa It waa voted out of
exlstcnco on the first day of Juno and
there Is no court that wo .Id hold that
there la any such place as South Omahn
In Nebraska any mote. V. A. AUNi:Y.
The "mat Factory.
RIAIR. Nob., Aug. 28 To the Editor
of The I3ee: I have been fairly able to
care for my boy from tho cradle until
the fues began to gather on Ids upper
lip, and In aome way he was not able to
look bis mammy in the eye after that,
and I found that I had lost my boy.
Strange, for prior to that event he waa
proud to be called "Mammy's boy" and
enjoyed to occupy tho crurch pew with
hla parents. Hut somethlnz In connec
tion with the fuzi shattered nil this
hope, and I found that on the fateful
day that he returned from bis first rlKlt
to the barber shop (?), I beheld a un
less lad; but something elo had hap
pened. My board of strategy waa set In
motion, and every time that my boy bad
hla "Alfalfa Mowed" or the "Stubbles
Driven in" (.these were clues), I found
that my boy waa becoming shyer, and
that he acted as though he had been In
duced to eat of the forbidden tree and
I waa bound to find tho whereabouts
of that tree, and ao I planned a apy
system, and walked by that barber ahop.
I walked slowly, very slowly, and I soon
found that it had been wrongly named,
for it waa really a "Smut Factory," for
the air waa blue with racy effusions (I
believe they call tt that), and the loud
guffaws from tho row of fan that were
sitting in the bleachers, loudly registered
that tho professional Smut Smith had
Just delivered another consignment of
his diabolical acrapncl the same brand
that had struck my bov. Now I had
bearded the Ghoul In his Crag. On my
way home I stopped at a hardware atore
and selected a fine safety razor aa a
present for my boy, and, now I can see
my boy returning, and that his lnate
manhood revolts the very sight of the
Ptyulan Creek that flowa through those
realms of Pluto in those Infernal regions
' where that Smut Factory ia located,
breathing out ita fumes of Tophet and
and the arch demon, the Smut Smith,
la a real Abaddon, who sent his venomnd
arrows into the vitals of my son.
I'm glad to note that there are a num
ber of real barber shops, and may their
number Increase; but may every Smut
Factory have its license revoked and the
Smut Smlty gagged.
JENNY WREN.
Vtlllilnar the Missouri Hlver.
NORTH LOUP, Neb., Aug. ;i-To the
Editor of The Bee: Wo are told that ap.
association Is now at work to reverse the
opinion of an army engineer with respect
to ' the possibility of navigating the
Missouri river. Most people do not ap
preciate the fact that the Missouri river
should prove to be the foundation of a
system of transportation unexcelled in
the entire world. Omaha may become a
city of 1,000,000 Inhabitants; Kansas City
greater, and ttloux city a commercial
center, with all parts of the great plains
having equal Improvements. The change
would not destroy the east, nor the west,
but the plains atates would arise as a
mammoth commercial empire.
What are the facts? The Missouri river
haa more than enough water for trans
portation, if that river had a fall of two
inches per mile. Instead of eighteen
Inches, It would be a alow moving, deep,
stream sufficient to carry the largest
aea-golng veseela.
What should be the method to improve
it for navigation? One of these methods
muat be employed: The river must be
kept clear of mud (300,000,000 cubic yards
annually) or arrest the rapid flow of the
wator and thereby prevent that enormoua
waah. Dredging ha proven a failure In
the Mississippi. The Missouri generally
hsa a very rock bottom, which makes a
substantial foundation. The better method
will be the process aa used at Keokuk.
There the Mississippi Is backed up sixty
mllee on a thlrty-eevcn-foot dam. The
cost e t37.O0O.0O0. If we might Improve
the Missouri and Mississippi by the ex
penditure of $300,000,000 within a period of
six to ten years, these Improvements
would prove far better than to expend an
equal amount on war materials and bat
tleahipa. The central states must back a man
for president who lives In these atates.
We want no Tammany, no Wall street
grafters In It. WALTER JOHNSON.
of
Mere A boat Moaogiot.
OMAHA. Ana 'JR. TV. Ih. ivto,.
Tho Ree: When I i. n . T
ment on Eaperahto, I had no Idea of stir
ring up such a discussion aa followed. I
have read carefully all the crlUclama and
still believe that all I said in that Com
munication ia correct. It ia an l-lun, li
able feet that language are not made,
they grow. A man may plant a seed,
but the tree mutt grow and that requin
time. The English language haa been
growing for centurites and Is still fur
from perfection. Long- after my Improve
ments, some one will Improve them, and
ao on Indefinitely. It la no fault of the
Slavic language that few of the great
literary nations understand It. but it doe
disqualify It to become a common ve
hicle of thought among those nations.
English, Germans, French or Spanish
would serve better, becaus .nore gen
erally undorvlood.
In Monoglot 1 have prepared a lexicon
cf words, l.OOo of which are found
In aome form In Fnt!lh, French, Span
ish and German. Every intelligent reader
wiil rccoiriil. these words without ref
erence to a lexhon. This cannot lie done
when the w,.rM are taken from half a
doxen different langunaes.
I lsh I could have space to give lllus
trstlons but t know tl.e space given Is
limited. Mr. Ccrlos thinks the I-atln
language too complicated for general use,.
Ho It Is. and I propose to use only Its
vocabulary, not ita grammar. I eliminate
Its elaborate Inflections, technical uses
of moods and tenses, and grammatical
gender. I seek to use words familiar to
most people and constructions as simple
as they ran possibly be. Esperanto haa
not rid Itself fully of useless appendages.
H hy should ad nouna end in o and alt
adjectives in a?
Esperanto, furthermore, does not have
a complete system of moods and tenses.
The consequence Is Its Imjieratlve mood
Is immensely overworked.
Current Esperanto uses too msny
words. "LI bruligls al si la manon;" here
si and la are superfluous. It would be
far better thus: "I J bruligls sian manon."
I cannot ahow the Infelicities of the
verb system without a paradigm, for
which I have not space. If I had. I
eould easllv show there Is a "more ex
cellent way."
This Is becoming a hackneyed subject.
and I expect The Hee to shut down on
it very soon. If any one want any
further Information on Monoglot, I shall
be glad to talk with him.
D. C. JOHN.
A ( unnimdrn m f I ve It T'p
OMAHA. Aug. M.-To the Editor of The
ltee: Anent the verdict In the Leo Frank
Inquest, please tell me, Why Is a coroner's
Jury? B. H.
Mexlcsn situation. Whnt do you think of
theso A II V conferences, Jimpson?"
'i think they are line." said Jimpson,
eseclBlly If they result In some 1". D. W.
measures." New York Times.
Madge-How did you know It was Dolly
If she waa In a crowd?'
Marlc.rie I caught a glimpse of her
periscope. J udKo. j
"731 KABIBBLE
LS KABARET
LIKT MfVPEL MINSK SAi&i
pPOriC WHAT LIVE M SS8
Howes SrWvttxr stcnp akh)
ANP THROW STONES -TrlOCES
To bo kTGplNf THE
WINDOWS CLEAM!
"ln oruer to lie a ui,uo.ntti a man naa
to speak aeveral languages fluently."
"1 don't know," answered Senator
Sorghum, "whether he has to speak
fluently. But ho surely haa to write
copiously." Washington Star.
'TIS A SAD STORY, MATES.
LINTS TO A SMILE.
'We never know what the future baa
in store for us." ouoth the Parlor Phil
osopher.
No; and the worst of It Is. we ran t
go to any other store," added the Mere
Man Life.
'Was It vonr craving- for drink that
brought you here?" asked tho sympa
thetic visitor at the Jail.
"Great Wcott, ma'am! Do I look so
idupld as to mistake thin place for a
saloon?" I'.uffalo Courier.
"Well," said little Blnks. "I see the
president has called upon the South
American diplomats again to consider the
Edmund Leamy in New York Sun.
A bachelor I. and you iiuestion me why.
And you look al me wroth and askance.
And I know what you blame, 'cause I
ilon t share my name.
And like other chaps go take) a chance.
Out hark to the plea of most miserable
ine.
Of cenaure I'vo earned not a Jot
For the girls that wejild marry me I
wouldn't marry.
And the onea that I would would not.
There were Mabel, and May now what
cou'd I asv?
For I loved to distraction Elalnn,
But she didn't care, ami oh. she was fair.
And so were Belle, Mollie and Jane.
Then Nan and Ilabette, 1 will never for
get. By far they were best of the lot
But the girls that would marry me I
wouldn't marry,
And the onea that I would would not.
I would take your advice, and be hitched
in a trice.
But what la a lcggar to Ao
When be loves Cluinevere In a manner
that's clear.
And Is bored by the worship of Lou?
So this la my plea, ah, be gentle witli
me.
Of blame I desrrve not a Jot
But the girls that wmild marry mo I
would not mamr.
And tho ones that I would would not!
H2
sPLAZA HOTELn
NEW YORK
FIFTH AVENUE and FIFTY NINTH ST.
The coolest hotel in New York. Overlooking Central
fark. Within easy distance of all theatres and shops.
Your address known the world over while you stop
at The Plaza.
OUTDOOR TERRACE AND SUMMER GARDEN
Special Dancing Features
Single Rooms with Bath, $3.50 up Double Rooms with Bath, $5.00 up
Te rsMrrs rooms er to eera farther laformatloa
addrns FRED STF.RHY. Maoaiat Dir.cloc
"See America's First Railroad"
tPrvflv History of
Arrurrlca her kaW,
jGral Importanc
' in wkiclv &iia , 4X
X-TiretRaAWdb.
'Arnmca, Kavs nor
$100,000,000
Better
You who think of the Baltimore & Ohio
in terms of the paat as a great scenk and
historical route as America's first rail
wayshould know it today. In the past
four years $100,000,000 have been used to
improve the roadbed, to straighten curves.
to add tracks, to better the eauipment. Mil
lions have been spent for conchas and engines
of the all-steel, electric-lighted trains with un
surpassed dining-car service. All the attractions
of nature which made it the scenic route of
Eastern America1' are still here for you but we
have made them just $100,000,000 better.
You cannot ride In better trains, over a better
roadbed, anywhere. "
All through train via WashingtonT
with liberal stopover privileges
Four splendid all-steel, lectrio-tlshtedl
trains leave Chicsuje daily
The Interstate Special Leaves Chicago
at 105 a.tn. Arrives Washington SMS a. aa.
and New York 233 p. m. A particularly
desirable train. An extra (are of $ 1 charged to
New York; refunded If stop ta made en route.
Tha New York United Leave Chicago
at 3:43 p. m. Affords all da ride through
the mountains.
Tha WaahJato44sr York Express -Leaves
Chicago at 8 a. in.
Tha New Yaxk Eapreee and -Weal Vir
ginian" Leaves Chicago at 1:30 p. an.
Sea that Tour tlckst te Plttsbunrh. Waahlairtea, BaWmere, PhlladelBble, Hew
YenXBoatM or ti Jersey Cos resorts reada via baMaaoie Okie.
Writ or call for
thee free),
artistic booklets
"So Anterioa" sKould
be la the hands of
everr boy and air! la
the land. "The Blue
and the Ore?" should
be in everr home. We
want rou te have a
copy, writs to er sail
at the addrase below
sod receive them.
n. O. STUm, Travolta?
tta.lv weooiuaa of the WerU Blag,
Paeaeagev Agent,
Oman, Ben.
Baltimore &Ohio
"Our aisagsss ea eoi guU."
Persistence is the cardinal vir
tue in advertising; no matter
how good advertising may be
in other respects, it must be
run frequently and constant
ly to be really succcessful.
