Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, August 11, 1915, Page 4, Image 4

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TM Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
Fntaeed at Omthf postofflre as seoond -class matter.
F'y carrier Fy mall
par month. per year.
tt ed gunday - .
J I! jr without Sunday..,.' .......ev 4 09
Wenlrg and Sunoay S.M
Fvenlng without Sunday So 4.M
Sunday Pa onlr J.
Band notice of of address or romp'alnta of
Irregularity In deUvery to Omaha, Bee, Circulation
mli by draft, expresa or rtel order. Only two
Cent stamps received In payment of email ao
ewunts Perennel chwki. except on Omaha and eastern
auteoange, not accepted.
Omaha The Bee Hitllrttng
foulh Omaha Sif N street.
Ounrll Hiuffe M North Main street.
Ilnewln S l.Krt Building.
Chicago Wl H.emt Building
Vrw fork Room 1W, Fifth avenue,
ft. IOula-MS New Rank of Commerce.
Washington 7a Fourth nth Bt.. N. W.
Address communications relating to news and edl.
tortal matter to Omaha baa. Editorial Department.
6tate of Nebraska. County of Douglaa. aa.:
Dwtght Williams, circulation manager of Tha Baa
Publishing company, being duly aworn, says that tha
average circulation for tha month of July, 1116, waa
nWTOHT WII.UA MB, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and aworn to befora
ftlf, thia td day of AiiKiist, liB
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public
Bulwribers leaving the city temporarily
should bay Tha Re mailed to them. Ad
drees will be changed aa often aa requested.
Thought for the Day
In wonder vxnkingi or mm buh of am
Xtr. look for Ood, and f una Uim oonotaUd;
But in tartk't common thing II iand rt
ess fat.
Tlhti tk pro and stirs art 4 JUnetr tpl
ot Mi nam. Minvt J. Satrap
Omaha may excel at mala driving, but those
Llncolnltes are tonit goat riders.
Brother Bryan l strong for good roads. Bet
ter roads will also make it easier for folks to go
to tha Chautauqua.
As time humps along and notes multiply,
vender increases why Colonel Bryan retreated
from a war of words.
That reference to "tha Omaha regiment of
the Nebraska National Guard" is good! How
niany companies to a regiment?
Tha printers' convention declares for peace,
yv hich leaves only Colonel Roosevelt and Herr
.Viereck outslda tha reservation.
i All tha notables ar "stopping off in Omaha
cna after another In tact, they wouldn't be
notables if they did not stop off.
Tha Lincoln Star devotes nearly a column
to an editorial on "How to Spend Money."
AVbat a needless waste of valuable space!
If General Goethals is to quit governing tha
Panama canal in November there ought to be
room then tor Governor "Met" to go back.
What's this I Violation of Tba Hague rules
charged? Paraphrasing a famous exclamation,
What's The Hague rules between enemies?"
' Still, just gotng about the country telling us
hat a causeless war it la does not seeca to be
getting anywhere toward putting an end to it.
Tha national emblem of Mexico is an eagla
perched on a cactus with a snake In Its beak.
No wonder tha dove of peace shies at substi
tuting tor that eagle!
Tha information comes straight from head
iquarters that $260 was paid for that historic
tUt department desk. And after two years of
democratic administration Uncle Sam needed
he money!
There is merit in tha suggestion of President
lolden of tha Burlington that company depart
ment heads recruit their employes from people
living along tha line. It lends a "home" tone to
tba system and draws a benevolent screen over
tha lever worked at St. Paul and New York.
Notwithstanding the fatality at the auto
speed-meet, the coroner over at Dea Moines has
taken particular pains to pronounce the track
all right Now, we hope our coroner hera will
give a certificate of character to all our racing
bowls before his official job Is exterminated.
Among the proposals before the New York
constitutional convention is one to raise the pay
cl tha state's law-makers from 1 1,500 to I J. 600
a year. Nebraska just recently doubled the pay
of its solons, with no visible effect, however,
except upon the size of the salary appropriation.
Jh&iTfbl & Off
The dtrecturs of tha Board of Trade received tha
tea!gnatlon of Bovrvlary Thorn Glbaon. who la la a
analrlutn In New York and will be unable to aerva
fur soma time, and whoaa aoo. Uorra. has baea act
aerreUry. Tha raalfiiatiun was laid over and Ftad
li. Lowa aptwlnted aecrctary pro tare.
NuU U arved that C. D. Wot.lworth aa raoelver
revive buia up to Auiuit 14 for tha purchnae In
liulk or pcrvel of tha alotk of dry sooda formerly
wn-l l y Iiyal K f tr.ith. Thla Is tha lataat turn In
lha srab by U. creditor claimants.
41 r. J' tin Guild, aci ompanli-d by Wra T. C. Brun
Ur. lft to fiUnd In tJrand laUnd.
Tha family of Jacob Kc(h.1i! of thla city, constating
ut bla ti and five cbiMren, arrived home from Ilam
Lurj, GcTinany.
4Sia Orara Bd of Wlit. lt nr. W. Va-. who hat
V vt.t.f itr. and alia A. K. Koaa on upir Dudse
irl, riurned huma.
Mra. J. II. Ml I d. Mr. and Mra Will Millard and
!t. XMrroa, riuilir lit Mra. J. JI. MUlard, cam In
io:a lv-iijMrt. la., la tha I'riUm f'aclllo apocUl car.
A tri. K'oia fruui rt. A. Mi-Whurter told of tha daaih
n( I. l.ifunt lu-l.t.r at Ivrsiur, 111., whera tha Mc
"Wl.oil. eta vlfcliU.S their frtmcUwoula.
Crops on the First of Angniit.
Prosperity's bsnner was hung on the outer
wsllg on August 1, when the crops of the coun
try were In such condition as to guarantee, short
of inconceivable calamity, the biggest yield ever
harvested in any one country in tha history of
the world. Wheat alone has reached the un
precedented figures of 963,000,000 bushels, and
may go to the billion mark. This yield com
pares with 865.000,000 bushels In 1914, which
was also a record crop. King Corn's return Is
now estimated for the year at very clone to
three billion bushels, or three hundred million
more than last year, and other crops are In pro
portion. The only staple that will show a reduc
tion is cotton, which has been purposely short
ened through a reduced acreage.
Nebraska's shsre in this wonderful prosper
ity Is notable. The second wheat-producing
state in the union, Nebraska will market a crop
of very close to 76,000,000 bushels, and this in
spite of the untoward weather that materially
reduced the yield. The estimate on the state's
corn crop Is for two million bushels less than last
year, but with the continuance of tha favorable
weather this will be more than overcome by the
certain Improvement In condition of the crop.
Nebraska's oat crop is also oft a little In total
fiom last year, but still holds the state aa second
only to Iowa In the point of production. Pota
toes and forsge crops are good, and tha Imme
diate prospect for the final harvest In this state
is far and awsy beyond the doleful predictions
made during the rainy days of July.
The country generally is sharing In this
bountiful harvest, and as prices are holding up
veil, the prosperity of the country, so far as it
depends on tb farmer, Is absolutely assured.
When Goethals Goei.
When Genersl Goethals goes from the office
of governor of Panama on November 1 he will
leave behind him one of tha most stupendous
Monuments to man's constructive genius ever
erected. A dream Indulged for more than 400
years has been made a reality through his en
ergy and skill as a builder. The lay mind can
tut slightly conceive of tha problems he faced,
the sweep of Imagination necessary to conceive
and the' high quality of courage called for in the
execution of the designs whereby Goethals car
ried out tha details of this undertaking, so great
and so unique that tha world has nothing to
compare with it.
He resigns now as governor of the canal
one, and not as a general of the army, and will
return to his profession as a soldier, to await
the further orders of his country. His achieve
ment of one of the greatest triumphs of con
structive engineering in the world's history Is
taken by him as a part of his duty to his people.
He is part of an army whose tradition Is service,
himself a fine example of the American soldier.
The Panama canal is in operation, and General
Goethals, no longer needed there. Is entitled to
a rest, but he probably will not get It. for he will
be of much use in planning tba defensive works
tha country Is soon to embark upon con-
structlng. ,
A Two-Party Country.
. .Thla Is a two-party country. Many third partlea
have coma and cone alnce tha early days of tha re
public, but only on third party avar cams into power,
and that was the republican party under ths at re is of
tha etnsle all-dominating moral iaaue In the mldat of
tha paaalon which reaultad In tha civil war.
by a miracle, no third party movement will have any
chance of success In 1914 -Frederic M. Davenport In
tha Outlook.
Tha significance of this expression is that It
comes from tha nominee for governor of New
Aork on the last progressive party, or bull
moose, ticket, and one of the most enthusiastic
and sincere followers of Roosevelt in the 1912
campaign two years before. But Prof. Daven
port Is more ot a atudent than he Is a politician.
snd his vision Is less biased by his personal de
sires and prejudices than the other leaders of
that third party. So no matter what proclama
tion or pronouncement may emanate from the
staff officers of the waning bull moose briaade.
it may be accepted as an established fact that
this Is a two-party country, and that "nothing
but a miracle" will make tha 1916 campaign
anything but a contest for supremacy between
the republican party and tha democratic party.
No third party defection can do mora than alter
the relative positions of tha two old parties. It
U decidedly doubtful whether there will be any
national bull moose convention nominating a
presidential ticket, and tha chief reason for this
lu that in tha dozen states with presidential pref
erence primaries established in response to tha
demand of the progressives, there will not ba
enough third party vote cast to warrant anyone
making the race aerlously as m third early
Berings! Can This Be Tract
Governor Capper has Just given the world a
dreadful shock by asking tha attorney general
of Kansas to proceed with all alacrity and full
plenary powers to make an associate Justice ot
the Kansas supreme court pay back a large sum
cf money he took from a corporation while serv
ing as attorney general of the state. Further
more, the governor says there arj others, and
that he's going to get them, too. Can thla ba
true, that down in saintly Kansaa, whera springs
tha fount of all civic goodness and virtue la Its
own reward, somebody has been tainted with
graft? And where was Bill Allen White, and
Vie Murdoch, and all the other keepers or the
public conscience, when this general distribution
of corporation tribute waa going on? If tba
governor is on the right track, somebody has
been asleep at the sw itch in Kansas, and, worse
luck, they can't lay It onto Joe Cannon or the
Rum Demon. Maybe this is why some folks
down thera tried so hard to defeat Capper when
ha was running last fall.
An official Investigation disposes of many
rtickless statements regarding the number of
drug victims In the United States. Reports from
the various officers administering the anti-drug
law places the number of victims ot the habit
at not to exceed 200.000 persons. This Is a very
small percentage of the population, far less than
generally supposed. Even mora gratifying are
lospltal words of satisfactory treatment and
recovery of patients.
Peace Is making progress. General Boba
and Major Bourand have been disarmed In
Haiti and saved the expenso ot aa Involuntary
funeral .
Bouquet of Bird Stories
Bird Xre."
Ilw the Sapeaekar Raara Ita Yoaac.
During the first thrae weeks In July of laat year
I had an eiceptlonally good opportunity to obae. ve
the habits of a pair of yallow-bplllcd sapauckers and
their three young. When my attention was flrat called
to three blrda, the young were barely able to fly.
They were feeding an ap from the pita, which the
adult blrda had made for them on a nearly hortsontal
branch of a fray Mrch which overhung: the pon4.
They clung tenacloualy to the birch, and would not
fly until very rloaely approached. Juat aa eoon aa I
retreated, they Immediately took up their poaltlona on
the tree again. They were aa peralatent In their nure
In aa a littor of young pigs.
A the youns blrda grew larger and stronger, the
adults made pita for them on treea whoae position
waa more nearly erect. By much urging and the use
of eome force, the young birds were Induced to feel
st the new pits and, aa thee were larger and mora
numerous than thoae on tha hortiontal tree, thpy re
mained In the new poeltlnn the' greater part of tha
time. Thla performance waa repeated until tha young
blrda were able to take their auatenance from pits
made for thera on vertical treea.
The young blrda were peralatent feeders, being seen
at the pita early In the morning, and at all hours of
the day, and until after duak. It la true that they ap
peared to alecp a part of tha time. Aa the aapauckers
belong to the family of woodpeckers, which feeds
principally on Inaecta. and aa the neatllnge cannot
procure much ap after winter eeta In. It Boon became
neceaaary for the parents to attempt to wean their
offspring from their baby food. In thla thay had aa
much trouble aa wa humane do when we try to wean
our young from milk.
One of the moat Intereatlng features waa the antics
of the vartona anlmala attracted to the flowing sap.
A pair of hummingbirds devoted their whole time to
the tipple. They became entirely demoralised and.
Inatead of performing the duties for which nature In
tended them, they went on one long and extended
spree. I expected to ee thesa little tyrant a drive tha
aapauckers away, but they did not do so, fearing, pcr
hapa, to "kill the gooae which laid tha golden egg."
The antlca of the male ruhythroat were wonderful and
marvelous. At times he would awing back and forth
through the air In an are of nearly half a circle with
a diameter of thirty feet, for aome twenty to thirty
tlmca In aucceaalon. He did this with Incredible swift
ness and, when he made tha turn at each end of tha
arc, he would puff out his ruby patch until It looked
like flame.
The effect of the tipple on a gray squirrel was
exactly the reverae. It made him bo loggy and atupiJ
that I could almoat touch him with my paddle before
he would move. He merely alouched up the tree and
went to aleep In a crotch above. Borne of the red
aqulrrels acted similarly, and some of them were un
duly quarrelsome. In the early evening, large hawk
moths darted from one set of pits to another, and
neglected the multitude of flowers below.
Afcvat the Baltimore Orlale.
One morning, while seated on a fence near a maple
tree, I heard a very beautiful song. While I aat look
ing up Into the tree, I saw a beautiful atreak of orange
end black fly over my head. It was an oriole; I knew
thla at once.
Later In tha day, going out of the back entrance
of the school, I saw the Baltimore oriole perched In
the top of a btg cottonwood tree, singing with all hi
might. He waa orange and black, a fully matured
bird; I knew thla because the bird doea not get these
colore until the third year. Before thla the orange
on the wlnga Is yellow.
In the evening on leaving school, I went and aat
down under the cottonwood tree, and watched the bird.
Then, after a time, as I watched him cloaely, I saw
him fly to a slender branch In the top of a tree. At
thla I waa greatly surprised, for on the end of th
limb I aaw the nest of the oriole, resembling very
much a large, black ball, hanging there. Since then
t have often gone and sat under the tree. I am afraid
to climb It, aa It la so high, to look at the eggs or
young. Next year lam gomg to watch and see If the
orioles come back, and If they bring their young tj
live In tha big cottonwood tree.
Neat of tha Blaeblrd.
One day, aa I was walking down the road with
my teacher, she asked me If I would like to see a
bluebird's neat. I said I would, for I had never seen
one before, so we walked down tha road till wa cams
to a poat on one aide of the road. My teacher said
"Do you see that hole In the post? Look in there and
you will sea a neat with four little eggs In IL" Every
tlma I went by there the mother bird waa near the
neat. A short tlma atter I had first aeen the neat, she
askeu me If I did not want to come with her and take
a picture of the mother bird going Into the neat. When
we were near tha neat, we saw the mother bird near
tha poat where her nest waa. but aa soon as she save
us she flew away. We looked Into the neat and thera
were four little hlueblrda In it, so we aat down about
eight feet from the neat when, all at once, wa saw
the male coming with a worm In Its mouth. Tha
parents would come to the poat next to the one ths
nat was In, and sit thera and wait, then a wagon
would eome along and frighten them away. Wa aat
there about half an hour, but tha blrda would, not
come, so we went sway. About a week afterward I
came; and the blrda were gone.
Laaaehlaar th Little Loose.
A pair of loons built their neat on a muakrat house
In a lake near our home, and laid two egga about the
Ise of a gooae egg. They were an olive-green, with
brown apots on them. When my father went to the
field ha could see the female on tha neat The loona
came to our lake to feed quite often, so we saw them
nearly every day. My father promised to take ma
over ao I oould sea the neat and egga. but wa did not
get there for two weeks. But when we did go we saw
a far more Interesting eight, for the egga had by that
tlma hatched.
When we drew near, we aaw two little black tall
of cotton (of which they remindnd ua), alttlng on the
nest among a lot of mud turtles. When we were nearly
there, the young came sliding out Into the water. All
the time the old loona stayed very near, giving warn
ing calla, aometlmea coming very near to us. One
little loon tried to dive, but could only get Its head
under water, while Ita feet were kicking at the air,
which made a very funny sight. The old loons would
raise up on their talis and kick water about ten feet
at ua, trying In vain to drive ua away.
It was about ten daya after wa had been there, not
being able to et there but once, that we noticed they
were In the lake Bearcat the house. Wa do not know
how they got them over, but suppose they carried
thera on their backa, becausa they cannot walk, for
their lega are set back too far (for tha purpoae of
awtmmlng). They were In our lake about two weeka,
so I saw them every day.
One day, when my father was working In the
garden, he aaw tha young onea trying to croaa the
paaa; but the eowa came, before they got a very good
start and ehaeed them back. But they were not going
to give It up for. when tha cows were not there, they
again started. They were about halfway acroaa the
paaa when my father called to ma and told me to
come and see them. Wa ran through the paatura to
where they were. They stopped when they caught
eight of us and turned, all ready for fight They
came up to ua la a sliding motion, using their lega
aa pushera. Tha old loons wars over In the big lake
calling to them, and they answered them. Wa picked
them up snd brought thera up to the houae to enow
the reat of the family. They were brown oa the back
and white bejlow, and about one-fourth their natural
else. They have the queerest kind of a way of calling
their pairenta.
When we went to take thera back, we aaw the
mother loon fly down Into the little lake. We held
them ao ahe could are them, to ao how close aha
would come to us. She would call and they would
answer her until ahe got quite near ua, when wa put
one down. It swam oa top for a few seconds and
then dove under water, where it swam for a long
time; then came up fot a few minutes to get air and
down again. The old loon atarted to go after tha one
we had put down, so wa let tha other down and it did
the same until they both reached th-jlr mother. It
waa wot Ions before the other old one raroe. The
parent birds did not try to get the lllne onea out
again until they .learned to fly.
Bryaa the Sleep-Maker.
NORTH PLATTE Neb.. Aug. 10. To
the Editor of The Bee: W. J. Brran de
livered his lecture on "Peace snd War"
at the Chautauqua grounds here Sunday.
For any ordinary lecturer to deliver a
lecture would be a matter of ordinary
moment, but when a "great comrioner."
who poses aa a worldwide eduator In
mattera of political, social and religious
thought, delivers a lecture, he la entitled
to aome consideration, not only from him
self and the uncommon people, but from
common people as well.
Mr. Bryan divided his lecture Into three
parte: First, the ravages of the war In
Europe and Its poaalbllltiea In this coun
try; second, Ita financial consequence, in
ternational and otherwise; and third, he
declared that the war was not a reli
gious war, and that neither the govern
ment! nor the people knew what they
were fighting about.
The greatest misfortune that can befall
any country Is to have spineless states
men and educators who trim their sails
to catch popular sentiment or serve a
master. The world knows that the Euro
pean war waa brought on by the Roman
Catholic state of Austria Imposing Its re
ligion upon the Greek Catholic state of
Serbia, whereupon a Greek Catholic shot
a Roman Catholic prince. Ruaala would
not aee her Greek Catholic protege Im
posed upon, and began to mobilise. Ger
many, being conatantly mobilised, atarted
acroaa tha border to overcome France,
which waa nonreltgloua, and England, a
repreaentatlvo democracy, Proteatant
Episcopalian, waa compelled to come to
the relief of France. Here we have four
of the principal countries of Europe,
whoae sovereigns, representing four dif
ferent religions, are fighting for their re
ligion, power and plunder. Thera Is not
an ordinary reader of the current preaa
who does not know that the above state
ment la true, yet Mr. Bryan telle us that
there la no religion In the war and the
people do not know what they are fight
ing about. The common people may not
know, but the uncommon people do. It
Mr. Bryan does not know, he had better
go out of the commoner buslnesa and
into a kindergarten school.
Mr. Bryan Is a man of aome poise. Easy
people are entertained by the sound of
his voice, but few remember what he Is
talking about, for he Is adept at putting
people to aleep. The most dangerous man
In this country is the man that can put
the most of the people to sleep. The 1 ri
te rents, of which there is so much criti
cism, are of foreign origin which get Into
thla country by putting people to sleep,
and can only remain here by keeping
them asleep. Consequently, sleepm&kers
are In demand which most statesmen are
and for great commoners there Is a
greater demand. These are some of the
phases of the question that should wake
up the republican self-government before
It la eternally too late.
Eag;er to Accommodate.
OMAHA, Aug. 10. To the Editor of Tha
Bee: if fl. R. of Plattsmouth. who
wants an anti-German paper, will give
bis full name' and addreas In The Bee,
authentto reports of German atrocities
will be mailed to him without delay.
Would advise to subecrlbe for tha Irish
Sara Monoalott Beata Kaperaato.
OMAHA, Aug. ia-To the Editor of
The Bee: I see by your Letter Box re
newed attention is being given to Esper
anto. Mr. Corioa Is not the flrat man
to be discommoded by lack of language,
when traveling, nor will he be the last.
Nothing makea a man feel more lone
some and helpless In a crowd than to be
unable to ask or answer a question.
Nothing delays assimilation of foreign-
era ao much as Inability to talk with na
tives. Lavck of a common, language
makea natives jealous and suspicious of
each other. It prevents social Intercourse
aa prohibitory tartffa and embargoea
prevent commerce. A common language
Is almost as effective a bond of union
aa a common religion and ought, to be
cultivated more than It la
The world owes Mr. Zameneff a debt of
gratitude for his Ingenious attempt to
supply this long felt need, but It la yet
tn a crude state and poeaessea some fun
damental defects which greatly hinder Its
uaefulnees. , These, defects are as fol
lows: '
1. It does not have a aufficlent vo
cabulary. 1 It doea not have moods and tenaee
enough to express action or being with
S. It la too Slavic tn construction to be
acceptable to the literary nations of tha
4. It la made up of too many lan
guages; requiring one to bo quite a
linguist or be slavishly dependent on a
It would make this article too long to
give Illustrations.
These defects may ail bo avoided by
taking as the foundation Monoglott, an
ancient language with which all literary
nations are more or less familiar. Of
1,000 words selected from the Latin lexi
con, 1,000 have been worked their way
Into England in some form or other.
Nearly tha aaroe number can be found tn
German, and oven more In French and
Spanish, lineal descendants of ancient
Latin. Taking this ancient language and
grammar, aa far as possible, would make
the acquirement of the new language
quite easy, because two-thirds of the
vocabulary would bo already understood,
and all national Jealousy would bo
I am now trying to prepare a Mono
glott grammar free from all superfluities
and yet containing all things neoaawary
to perspicuity. I would be glad to con
verse with anyone Interested In the sub
ject. D. C. JOHN.
la frotaet Aa-aloat Opproealoa. -
SOUTH OMAHA, Aug. 10. To the Edi
tor of The Bee: The writer knows of aa
Omaha concern that Is following up a
poor girl, and making her lose her Job
because she is unable to earn any money
to pay thera. She Is aleo too poor to
hire an attorney to fight her case, but I
know she could expose this loan shark to
the public, and he would lose ten tlmea
the $S thla girl owes on a drees. In her
Ignorance, ahe agreed to pay fzx, and
the tit she has paid la a great deal more
than the dreaa Is worth.
I wlah the Omaha officials would call
on ma, and get the facta, and see what
can ba done to enjoin thla loan ahark
.from bothering this poor girt, so she can
hold a lob. The money ahe could earn
would keep the girl and her widowed
mother from asking charity of the
county. J. O. BLESHINQ.
foaatry la la Sympathy.
The country will heartUy aympathlxe
with tha peace projects of Mlaa Jane
Addams, even though a demand tor it
paredneaa for emergencies continues to
specting a proceaalon of broilers In the
shopping district'" Louisville Couriei
Joumal. Ilankin You can't beat the foiblea ot
the newly rich.
1'hyle Now, what's the matter?"
"Rememher Freddy Ford?"
"He Inherited a big fortune last week,
and now he is trying to have his name
legally changed to Limousine." Younga
lows Telegram.
Chicago News.
Our Fanny's happy aa a lark!
She alnga and singa from dawn till dark,
Pecauae, you know, ahe a married Koy,
Whom ahe proclalme "the dearest boy.
And there's no limit to her Joy,
In truth, he's very common clay;
I aee such men in droves each day.
Ho'a raje. his less are far from alralht.
But he looks perfect to his mate:
For Fanny feels It docs seem odd
That she is wedded to a god!
He's taken little thought of life;
He's proud that he haa won a wife.
I wonder, now, what he will do
When he la forced to think for two!
I've found it labor, for my part.
But Fanny says, ''Roy's awful smart!"
t do not know what wage he rets;
He spends a lot for cigarettes.
But when the bills come he wtil groan
And buy a pipe or roll his own.
Still, Fanny worries not a bit;
She aays, "Roy's promised me he'll quit!"
I would not mar their happiness
Once I waa young and foolish, yes.
My good wife often telle me so
As green as Roy: but thla I know;
My lega aren't fashioned like a bow!
"I want two pnunds of surar and a loaf
of bread. ITow much la that?"
'Twenty dollara," aald the clerk.
"fm Isn't ) a trifle hlph?"
"Rxcuae me. I ahould hare said 10
"A narrow escape," murmured the cus
tomer as ha went out. "I came near not
making a kick." Pittsburgh Host.
"I understand he let you In on a get-rlch-qulck
"No. Do you aiipnoae I would be an
gry at him for that?"
"Then what waa It ?"
"He made me think It waa a get-rlch-quli
k scheme, but it wasn't." Houston
"Have you made any progress toward
the betterment of municipal art?"
"We've made some progress with refer
ence to statuary. All the wooden In
dians have disappeared from In front of
the cigar stores." Washington Star.
First Motorist (after very narrow
shave.) Hut why all this fuaa? We
haven't damaged you. You can't bring
an action against ua,
Second Motorist 1 know I can't, air:
I know I can't ;that's Juat my point
Punch. "Where do you euppoee we got the aay
Ing, 'He laughs best who laughs last?" "
asked Mra. Ulnka of her husband.
"Probably aome Englishman first aa'd
It." replied Mr. Blnka. "He was doubt
leaa trying to sot a national falling In a
favorable light." Youth's Companion.
"I don't see why women fear old age.
Old age Is honorable and dlfrnlfled."
."Yea, and it seems beautiful ater In
The coolest hotel in New York. Overlooking Central
Park. Within easy distance of all theatres and shops.
Your address known the world over while you atop
at The Plaza.
Special Dancing Features
SiafU Rooms with Bath, $3,50 up Double Rooms with Bath, $5.00 an
Ta reserve rooms ar te sscara farther iaforejetlea
eadraM PRBU STERRY. Meaafial Direstor
The Voice of- Authority
By Jean G'Hara Day
HE most successful merchant of
my acquaintance has a great
idea. And, at that, it is not
new. Most great ideas are old
ideas. The trouble is that few
people know how to apply them.
This great idea was what Demosthenes
realized what Napoleon demonstrated
what Lincoln appreciated with - great so
lemnity. It is that the public can be taught.
And people who can be taught can be led
can be commanded.
"People," said this genius in salesman
ship, "Uke to be told things. They like to be
taught what to do. The average citizen is
waiting every day for the voice ot authority.
"I have taught thousands upon thousands
of people in this city to do their shopping in
my store during the hot weather.
"I realized that for every degree the ther
mometer registered lower in my establish
ment than it was on th- street I could figure
thousands in profits. I installed a ventilat
ing and cold-air plant.
"Then I advertised that my store was the
coolest place downtown. Nothing more was
"They came ouce and they've been com
ing ever since."
The story of this man's phenomenal suc
cess during what is generally called the 'f dull
season" points a beautiful moral. He taught
people where to expect comfort and he.
gave it to them.
Above all things, he dernonstrated that a
man can make business any month in the
He is a striking contrast to the merchant
who, accepting the old doctrine that business
must be poor in hot weather, loafs on his job
and allows it to be poor.
Failure never has been beaten except by
one thing great ideas. And no man ever
had a great idea by sitting at his desk and
deciding that conditions could not be im
proved. Nobody would send a plate of mQk to be
delivered by a cat. How, then, can pes
simism boost the profits 1
Cling to the great idea. The public can be
taught It must be taught
Show the people where they can be cool,
where they can profit themselves, where they
can find the best articles on the market
They want to be led. They want to be
commanded. 'Any great idea will produce
the results, j
By the way, how cool is it in your store
today t