Nebraska Newspapers

    9
THK 11EK: OMAHA. SATUKDAY, .11JNK 2(i, 1915
TOE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FDl'NDftD BT EDWARD ROSE WATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATKR, EDITOR.
Tha Bex Publishing Company, Proprietor.
BFB BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH.
Kntered at Omahs poetofflce as aecond-ctaaa matter.
TERMS Or SUBSCRIPTION.
Uy far nor Br mall
per month. per year.
lastly and fundi? o I
Pally without Sunday....' o 00
KVenlng end Sunday
Rvenlng without Sunday o 4.00
Sunday Bee only V S On
fleod notice of change of address or complaints of
Irregularity in delivery to Oraaha Bee, Circulation
Department.
RBMITTANCB.
Remit try draft ejtpres or poatal order. Only two
rent at am pa received In payment of ama.ll ao
aounta. Parannal cheeks, except on Omaha and eastern
exchange, not accepted.
OmCBS.
Omaha The Be Building.
South Omaha all N street
rounril Pluf's 14 North Mala street.
I.tneoln M Little Building.
Chicago eat Hearst Building.
New Tork Room 1IW. , Fifth avenue.
Bt Louls-SnS Ntw Hank of Commerce.
Washington T Fourteenth St. N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE,
address cotnnBleMon relating to new and edi
torial matter to Omaha baa, Editorial Department,
MAY CIRCULATION,
53,345
State of Nebraska. County of Douglas, at:
Dwicht WUllame. circulation manager of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly lom, aaya that the
average circulation for the month of May, 191a, wag
fct.J4e.
rrWIOHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to Vafore
me, this Id dy of June, Wit
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Publlo.
Subscriber leaving the city temporarily
i ho aid have The Bee mailed to them, Ad
dress will be changed as often as reqoeatetl.
rr
fane SS
Thought for the Day
Slxt,d 4y J. W. Comity
Way, ntver falUr, no grtmt dtd it dor
ByfaUtrtri who atkjor certainty,
JVe good U crf afo but th ileadfait mind,
Tht undividd mil to $tk tht good;
' 7Vt that eompelt thttUmentt, and wringt
A Kvntan murie from tht indifferent air.
The grtatf.it gift a hero Uavt hit roe
1$ to have bun hro. Ofrgt Eliot.
Still, one barf doss not make navigation
any more than on bluebird makes spring.
Th grocers' picnic again verifies th copy
book adage, "If at first you don't ucced, try,
try again."
Having searched the premlce and found
some hide left, the Russian bear remarks: "The
war has just begun."
Orester Omaha's flrit. Fourth of July cele
bration should be made memorable, but at the
same time kept safe and sane.
Let the 'dislocated officeholders of our
merged suburbs solace themselves with the
thought that It had to come sooner or later.
The showing of menacing discrimination in
the proposed ratos for east bound packing house
products from Omaba flatly contradicts certain
railroad pretentions. .
It Is snnounced on behalf of Mr. Bryan that
he will spend some of his precious time at hi
Itome in Nebraska. Cheer up! The tat will
continue on the political map.
This rush of foreign bonds secured by ample
collateral, and netting purchasers 6 per cent or
more, threaten to give the home output of 4 s
and iV per cents a bargain counter look.
The calm serenity and noise '.eeaness of Flor
ence amid the merger excitement suggest the
Influence of Whitcomb Riley' admonition;
"The bogey man Ml get you ef you don't watch
out." ' '
I
Folks cannot get along without doctors, but
they. may be pardoned for winking the other
eye when doctors solemnly tsll them to follow
health rules which, If heeded, would send half
, th doctors to ths bread Unas. v
A peace propaganda endowed by Carnegie
millions excites the Jingoes. Hitherto the latter
monopolised organisation and resources. Com
petition and opposition bold out ths annoying
proipect of being obliged to work for their fees.
It is authoritatively announced that William
J. Bryan will retain his Nebraska realdence and
cltlaenchlp. It's dollars to doughnuts that the
name will appear under some appropriate head
ing on our next primary ballot, if he live that
long, and there are no Indication of hi family
being short-lived.
Every foreign legion In an army seek to do
greater deed than the regulars snd usually
are more eager for the fray. Th fate of the
Canadian battalion which lost BOO out of 700
men in s recent battle suggest tht character
istic. In former war a loss of 70 per cent
would be extraordinary, but ths present war is
txtrsordlnary In it slaughtering.
x - -
7
a
ssrasj:
Preparations for a grand old-fashioned Fourth of
luly have been started by a meeting called by H. p.
Estabrook and presided over by A. D. Jones. Com
mittee were appointed on fireworks, finance, etc,
and Prank B. Johnson made treaaurer.
Henry Ruetln and Will Doane have returned from
school.
John A. rreyhaa ft Co.. have opened up a whole
sale liquor establishment at 1X Douglas and wfll
also maintain a warehouse at Eighth and Howard.
Mr. T. J.. Fittmorrla and her suiter have goo t
Brooklyn for a sis weeks' visit.
Plemoa Drake, seaeral manager of the Nebraska
Telephone company, has returned from the east
Preaidrnt Charles Francis Adams concluded hie
tlait and went c weat, accompanied by General Man
ager Dorrance and Chief Bilckenederfer. '
ft. Pblloinetia'a school gave a pleasant entertain
neat at thir bail on Ninth snd Howard. Thoae par
tkipattng liuludrd Mlasea Par flit. Whiteside. AnnU
(iarvey, lemltt, Flannery and Masters Brady. Oleason,
Hurler. FUher, Gorman, Otason, Garvey, Mullen and
McCoy
f
Doubtful Peace Prospects in Europe.
Colonrl House ha brought to President Wil
son a report t but confirm the best opinion of
non-official observers concerning the doubtful
outlook for peace In Europe. It is to the effect
tliat the end of the war Is afar off, and that
present tender of good offices will be of little
avail in the way of accelerating approach to
settlement. Th power at war have aeemlngly
ret themselve for a long struggle. That neither
ha been able to score a walk-over, and that at
present neither 1 willing to make concession
that would result In final adjustment, are con
clusions supported by every outwsrd evidence.
Each I bending Its every energy and calling in
every resource to provide for continuing the con
flict on Its present magnificent scale, and each
iindoubtedly proposes thst ths struggle for
supremacy go on till a definite end 1 reached.
Surface Indications at this time do not Invite
mediation.
Picking- a Place for Bryan.
Sachem and sagamores of the democratic
tribes are much concerned Jut at present over
the task of landing the late secretary of state
In a place where he will stay put. This 1 not
an easy task, nor a novel one. It ha been tried
many times, and has always failed, but the futil
ity of the undertaking doesn't seem to dismay
th other leaders of Mr. Bryan's party. The
ei-eecretsry has a most annoying way of bob
bing up Just at a time when hi presence will be
most Inconvenient for the other fellow, always
lighting Just where he Is most In th way. One
expedient proposed Is to make him president of
a great Chautauqua assembly; another I to give
him a professorship In a big school, where he
csn lecture to his heart's content. These insti
tutions will profit through the advertising ob
tained by being named In connection with Mr.
Bryan, but they needn't flatter themselve that
either I going to secure a monopoly on his
attention. He 1 certain to be on the Job in
1916, and bis presence mean trouble for a cer
tain brand of democrat.
Oar Present Foreign Commeroe.
From the Department of Commerce cornel
the analyst of the foreign trade of the United
State for the month of April, which 1 inter
esting, especially s showing thst some of the
glittering generalities given out by the press
agents of the administration are only half
truth. Quite a little has bsen made of the
statement that, despite the rush of so-called war
orders, the export of manufactured article, ex
clusive of foodstuffs, shows a falling off for ten
month In comparison with a similar period 'in
1914. Thl I true, the decrease being about
$40,000,000 for the combined Item of "manu
factures for further us In manufacturing" and
"manufacture ready for consumption.''
But, along with thl statement must be
tsksn the further fact that In the ten months
reported on, the exports of the United States to
Germany have fallen from $308,820,104 to $28
861,187, and for the month of April, 1115, are
reported as nothing. To Austria in the last ten
months the United State sent goods valued at
1, 319,914. as sgalnst $19,808,66 lu the ten
months period ending with April, 19 14. For
Belgium th decrease waa from $53,698,230 to
$18,310,028. The figure are roost eloquent
of th effect of th wsr on the foreign trade
cf the United States, and in thsmselve very
readily account for the announced deficit In the
total of manufactures sent abroad.
On the other hand, shipment to France,
Italy, The Netherlands, Norway, Sweden and th
United Kingdom hsve Increased enormously, to
almost make up the los sustained through the
stoppage of trade with the beleaguered coun
tries. The shipments to these countries are not
reported on In detail, but th fact that Norway's
jmrohsies bars risen from $7,693,050 to $36,
S94.976 is significant, as I also the increase in
Sweden' purchase, from $13,168,123 to $71,
911,063. .
Solution for One Censorship Easy.
Complaint from Scandinavian countries,
especially Sweden, that the British censor ha
been opening letter passing through ths malls,
U to be met by a very simple expedient. Here
after malls from the United States to the Scan
dinavian countries will be sent forwsrd by ves
sels that do not touch at British ports. This
will easily obviste th annoying Interference
and Is not a cause for International complica
tions. The fact that private mall ha been under
going scrutiny in England ha been known for
month. It I charged that the British censor
has a machine for opening letters thst does it
so neatly that only the most minute examina
tion will disclose the fact that the missive has
been tampered with. Hitherto, no formal com
plaint ha been lodged, but the Swede got tired
of the practice and protested. How far th
censorship 1 permissible In thl direction I an
open question, but the British authorities have
been pretty well stirred up over the practice of
espionage and are suspicious of all European.
However, mall that doe not go through British
hands will not be tampered with.
600,000, and other countries by 1,300,000, so
that the falling off In direct shipment to Ger
many and France has been nearly compensated
for. Increased activity in bom manufacture
and the lessened acreage planted for th year
will surely reduce the atrplu stock from Isst
yesr's bumper crop, and old King Cotton may
throw away th crutches and stand on his own
feet again, along with King Corn and King
Wheat.
Was Governor Morehead "kidding" or
"bluffing?" Th governor named Ransom to
the new office of public defender for the reason
that the unfortunate criminal unable to hire a
lawyer was entitled to the service of an able
and experienced attorney, and then on th next
round appoint Ransom' office boy. It must
be a tribute to the young fellow a equal to hi
preceptor.
A atat commission is about to inquire into
the operation of the hard coal combine in
Pennsylvania. The main object is to find out
whether the cosl bsrons sre entitled to all th
money they rak In. Outside consumer should
not bitch s hope of relief to this quit. What
the atat seek 1 a mors eu.ua! "split" of th
rakeoff front outsider.'
Our New Secretary of State
X.!trery Digest.
IN TUB photographs of Robert Lansing, our new
aecretaiy of ststs, the features reveal In every line
the uualltlea that all the world has come to acknowl
edge aa rharacterlntlrally American. There are flrm
neau. strength, persistency, energy, keen Insight, fear
less honesty, snd humor ths most necessary attributes
of what we take pride In calling the American splrn.
and whl-sh nowhere may more appropriately be found
than lu the Department of State. They have. Indeed,
had a great deal to do with th nation's International
policy thua far, or so we sre Informed by "a member
of the United States diplomatic service," who aveis
that Mr. Inflng aas'sted materially In the wording
of our various notes to Ormany end England.
"The office of counselor," we are told, "which Mr.
Tensing held. Is second In rank to thst of secretary
of state, and wsa invented by Secretary Knox for
Henry M. Woyt. a lawyer of more profeaalonal Im
portance than most government officiate. It was ac
cepted at the beginning of the present admlniatratlon
by John Baasett Moore, who enjoyed the hlghet rep
utatlon as an author on International law, but failed
to ogree with Mr. Brysn. Mr. Lennlng then stepped
Into the place. It Is a mistake to suppose that he was
s rival of the Nebreska orator. In fact, he-acted often
aa a mediator to smooth out friction between the
president and the secretary."
if the supposition of his opposition to Bryan has
arisen, It Is perhaps due, a much as anything, to tle
fact of their very different personallttea, Lansing la
the quiet, efficient, forceful, self-controlled type ft
American who runs an organisation whlls others are
making a fuss.
The secretary stands about five feet ten Inches
snd weighs 1S5 pounds. He Is well set up and exceed
ingly nest In appearance. In fact, he Is known aa
the bet-dreaed man among the higher government
officials, presenting an odd contrset to the late secre
tary. He has thick, closely cropped Iron-gray hair
and a small, neatly trimmed, gray mustache. At this
time of year he itsuslly wears a gray cutaway coat,
striped trouaera, and a soft gray hat. He goes to
church with his wife twice every Sunday.
He llkea to watch a game of base ball and plays
golf himself. He Is moderately fond of the thegter.
He hsrdly ever drinks snythlng beyond half a glass
of wine for polltenees' sake, but he Is quite devoted to
tobscco. At the office for a largs part of the time he
smokes a rich, dark brier-wood pipe, but, of course,
he has to put It awsy when an ambassador calls.
Mr. Lansing has s fondness for drawing, and h's
friends ssy he has considerable talent in this direc
tion. His strong point Is making caricatures of people.
Usually when talking to a person he makes sketohea
on little plecea of paper. It Is rumored that he has
made some clever cartoons of well known diplomats
and politicians, but certainly he la very careful not
to let them get Into circulation.
The secretary writes poetry, nd finds the best re
lief from the worries of a difficult diplomatic situation
In this Intellectual exercise. He Is also a great reader
of poetry.
He goes to his office regularly at S o'clock In the
morning, riding in a trolley-car, and works late, usu
ally till ( o'clock, often returning In the evening.
Mr. Inalng is averse to seeing callers, because he
has so much to do, but when he does so his manner Is
exceedingly friendly snd sympathetic
His reputation for quiet, dry humor Is well recog
nised among lils scquslntances. The chronicler relates
one of tho secretary's favorite stories, which concerns
that period of Mr. Lansing's career when be waa
practicing law In Watertown. N. T.. where the Inx
alngs have long been prominent In the affairs of the
state, ever since old John Lansing went as a delegate
to the Constitutional convention at Philadelphia In
1787. Mr. Lansing had once to appear before a newly
elected Jtist'ce of the peace, and one, it appears, who
was not himself a lawyer, but the only substantial
cltljen available for the position. Th case proceeded
as follows; . ,
. In the Jourse of the trial Mr: Lansing oroae-exsm-Ined
a witness rather severely. The witness wss stub
born, and cither didn't or wouldn't catch the drift of
the lawyer's questions), which had to be repeated sev
eral tiroes'.
Mr. 1-aDslng repeated a question five time without
changing a single word in it. His tactics Irritated
the Judge, and the lawyer was directed to ask a new
question. Instead he repeated th question a sixth
time, determined to get the answer be was after.
"Mr. Counselor," broke In the Judge, "I object to
your asking thst question again."
Ths question wss once more repeated.
Again the judge proteated. "Mr. Counselor," he de
clared In en Injured tone of voice, "I object to your
asking the same question ever snd over again."
Mr. Lansing wss qulok to take advantage of the
Judge's lack of Judicial training.
"Your objection I overruled," he snapped.
This completely nonplussed the Judge for a mo
ment, hut he recovered himself quickly and exclaimed
defiantly, "I take an exception!"
Twice Told Tales
Bastaeas la Baslaewa.
"Qsorgs." ssld th beautiful girl as she nsstled close
to him, "the last time you called rou proposed."
"I did, sweet one."
"And I accepted you."
"You did. love."
"I presume, George." she went on, in her most fas
cinating manner, "that you look upon me merely a a
foolish, thoughtless girl, but but "
"How can you think ao, pet?" he Interrupted.
"But," she went on. In a more businesslike wsy.
"I have something of the business Instinct of the new
women In me, and and 1 shall have to ask you to
repeat the proposal again tonight. The Isst time you
called it waa Sunday, snd eootraeta made on that
day. I learn, are. not legally binding-." New York
Ttmea
The Osportealst.
Robinson Crusoe was watching the sea from his
lonely Isle. Suddenly he jumped to his feet.
"Friday." he called, not being familiar with Sun
day, "there's something floating to shore."
Whereupon the two castaways draiged a baby grand
player piano to land by Its ears. Crusoe gssed sadly
upon his rapture.
"I don't know snythlng about music, and we have
no perforated rolls," he walled.
But fTlday, with the reeourcefulneas of the abori
gine, tore a porous plaster from his manly bosom and
soon the lonely Isle wss resounding with the noble
strains of Qoodby, Olrls. Philadelphia Ledger.
People and Events
A bolt of lightning struck the house In Philadelphia
In which a poltooman slept, and didn't waken him.
The incident vindicates ths reputation of the Quaker
C1U.
Success covers a multitude of sins. Aa employe of
a New York contracting firm who appropriated S2.0U)
of the firm's funds and mad ."00 out of It was
readily forgiven on making a satisfactory "spilt."
Itewey .E. Wilson in Kansas City kidnaped the
horse of H. L. Wilson and plaoed the animal In the
stable of Scott Wilson. Dewey did not get farther
with the gooda. but won a two-year term In the pen.
When patriarchs of 70 or more Indulge In matri
monial pranks, gossips take a fresh grip on life. A
civil war veteran of Norwich. N. Y.. recently wedded
a cosy maiden at SS Now he Is defending a breach
of promise suit Instituting by a woman of ST.
A St. I.ouls paper put out a pathetic plea for the
abolition of nepotism in Missouri offlcee: No ob
jection Is urged against officeholders annexing their
wives, children or sweethearts to ths public payroll,
but the addition of uncles, auata. and cousins la mors
than famished patriots can silently bear.
King Victor Emmanuel of Italy wss bark ward in
showing himself In public earlier In his reign. He
carat eut ef bis royal shell on hearing a man remark
that people "had not seen htrn except on stamps."
Now he Is at the front following the fortunes of his
army aa strengthening ths hopsa of the people.
Protect the Babies' Kyea.
OMAHA, June iB.-To the Kditor of The
Bee: Can we not prevail on parents to
Instruct those who take their babies onto
the street to be more careful to protect
the eyes of these little ones?
It la positively distressing to see how
children, too small to help themselves,
are compelled to He and stars Into the
sky. and sometimes actually Into the sun
Itself, when tsken out In this way. Most
maids, and for that matter, many
mothers, seem to think that protection
from the sun Is all that Is necessary
But bright skylight is almost aa painful
as direct sunlight certainly enough so to
make enforced submission to It nothing
less than agony.
Carelessness in this respect is so unl
versnl that the wonder Is that any of
them grow up with decent eyesight. Un
questionably, many of the cases of de
fective vision so numerous among school
children are due to this eye strain en
dured when they were babies. E. J. M.
Calls Bryan a (tnltter.
BROKEN BOW. Neb., June .-To the
Editor of The Bee: In all the various
comments nud discussions on the resigna
tion of William J. Bryan from the presi
dent's cabinet It seems the most amusing
attitude of one of our state papers has
been entirely overlooked. Shortly after
Mr. Bryan's resignation the State Jour
nal came out editorially criticising Mm
quite severely for thst paper, and the
very nest dn carried another editorial
in the nature of an apology for the criti
cism and In defense of the ex-secrstary
of state's action. This editorial policy
of the Lincoln paper gives rise to the
query, "Does BrotV.cr Charley act aa
censor on al) editorials pertaining to his
Illustrious brother before they are pub
lished In the State Journal 7" Be that as
it may, the fact remains that our silver
tongued orator has proven himself a quit
ter and lost out on a good hsnd and will
soon be In the discard, for the American
people don't like a quitter. The campaign
slogan of the' democratic party to elect
congressmen at the last election was
"Uphold the hands of the president," and
at tho most critical moment the party's
so-called leader and dictator rocks the
boat by deserting the ship.
ARTHUR V. SHAFFER.
Editorial Siftings
Grandfather Clause
New York World: Thousands of whit
men have as much reason to spplaud this
Judgment as any negro. Every outcast
In a republic, for color or religion or race
alone, gives oligarchy, bigotry and
aristocracy an excuse for banishing
others on any ground that prejudice may
name.
Minneapolis Journal: The "grandfather
clause," a favorite device In the south
for excluding poor or Ignorant negroes
from exercise of the right of suffrage
without at the same time excluding poor
or. Ignorant whites, has beeit found un
constitutional by. th United Statea su
preme court.
Indianapolis - News: - - There Is not a
southern state that rsay not apply and
enforce an educational qualification. All
that 1 Insisted on .la. that It shall be
honest In so doing,1 and shall exclude
from the right to vote all Illiterate men,
without regard to race. If such Is the
gist of the decision Illiterate blacks are
to be disfranchised, so must illiterate
whites be, even though ' descendants of
persons entitled in IM to vote.
St. Louis Republic: No man with a
spark of common sense will condemn a
stste for attempting to safeguard Its
community life against the perils of the
ballot In the hands of Illiterate blacks;
the only pity Is that the framers of the
provisions in question did not see that
Illiteracy I a peril to ths state, no matter
what the color of the skin of the illiterate.
There Is no commonwealth In the union
that would not be better off. In every
respect, if the ballot were withheld from
every man unable to read and write.
St. Louis Globe-Democrat: The Okla
homa grandfather clause waa, as every
body admitted at the time It waa pending,
directed solely at the 8 per cent negro
population. Indians were exempted
from lta provisions, for the tribes had "a
form of government." Literally applied,
many others than negroes would have
been barred, but In practice none have
been. Prior to IMS there were a few
statea of th union which did not havs
universal manhood suffrage. It would
have affected descendants . of certain
European not naturalised by lfifia. But
In practice no white man was asked as to
hi ancestral disabilities. The literacy
test of the negro was a farce in most
of the counties. At ons election pro
fessors in the colored college were dis
franchised, although highly educated. In
some places negroes were compelled to
write 4.000 words of the constitution, only
to be denied the vote because a few "t's"
were not crossed.
Tips on Home Topics
Minneapolis Journal: At a time when
the rest of the world is swry, it U a
healthy sign thst we are paying attention
to our own affairs. It means that, we
are view Ing events ome more in th
riaht rersrectlve. As has been salJ. tho
big news for us from Wsshington the
other day was not thst our relations
with Germsny were strained, but that
tbe fsrmers snd planted ,000W) more
acres in wheat than ever before In our
history.
Rprlngfield Republican: A subcom
mittee of the New Tork school boa rd
has decided that the song. "I didn't
ralae my boy to be a soldier." is a
proper one to sing at school exercises,
thus disposing of the complaint of a
local militia officer. The decision is
sensible. Patriotism and Us legitimate
military backing will not auffer from
such an appeal to the sentiment against
the "glory" of war. The "songs of the
nation" have their full rights to freedom
of speech.
Philadelphia Record. It Is Interesting
to know that a new black dye, mde of
American materials, has been demon
strated here in this city with entirely
satisfactory results, and is vouched for
by the Nstlonsl Association of Hosiery
at.d Underwear Manufacturera. It la
claimed for It thst It has points of su
periority over sulphur black, and that It
Is cheaper. Th manufacturers of tex
tiles and the chemists are beginning to
realise that it wUl be some time before
G-rman dyes will come Into thla market
again freely, and that domestic dyes hsd
better he provided. Necessity ,e the
mother of Invention.
Baltimore American: The Italians can
boast thst they sre slready fighting on
the enemy's territory. They have taken
Shakespeare's advice about the way of
bearing themselves In a fight after being
slow to enter It.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: The Russians
claim to have been successful In their
defense of Lvoff. The Germans claim to
be still pressing on toward Lemberg.
These claims do aot appear strikingly
contradictory till one remembers that
Lvoff is the Russian for Lemterg and
that Lemberg la the German for Lvoff.
Springfield Republican: The greatest
original "find" of the Wilson administra
tion waa Colonel House. Unknown to the
general public even In this country two
and one-half years ago, the Texas colonel
has be. ome a personage of International
fame because he serves the president as
unofficial eyes and ears In the leading
European capitals. There are colonels
and colonels, and finally there In Colonel
House. Someone nominates him as the
next secretary of state.
place, bjt vmir meals are a trifle deco.
rstle. MUht 1. mane a vulaar sugges
tion im t" a centerpiece?''
" Y-yi a "
"I -e oni'ncivl a beefsteak smothered
with oidcns." Louisville Courler-Journsl.
Employ1 Sir. I would resectfully at
you for 'an Increase In salary;1! hnve git
nmrrle.l Utely.
Manager of Works Very sorry. Hoi
nevlmnd. I cfin be cf no assistance to
vou. The company Is not responsible for
any accident thut happens to Its employe
when off duty. Birmingham Age Herald.
UNSELFISHNESS. "
GRINS AND GROANS.
Oorporil (to soldier reporting slckl
What's the matter with you?
Tommy Atkins Pain in my habdomen
Corporal Habdomen be 'aneed! Stom
Ick, you mean. It's honly hoffb-ers as as
habdomens. Boston Transcript.
"What excuse have you for not sup
porting vour family?" asked the Judge
In stentorian tor.ea.
"I have to support sn auto." exclaimed
the rulrrlt, and the Judge, knowing how
It waa himself, gave him 14 cents for a
gallon of gasoline. Philadelphia 'Ledger.
a
KABIBBIE
KABARET
AU.THCWHt'4PUIHMIrn.
HcrUferrtttTHe- SMk
AM AUfwtS LEAKS Utl mjCOTSO
HtAl NAME "nfflWTfOH A WUHK !
Hs waa madly In love. She was cold
and Indifferent.
"See darling," he exclaimed, "I am at
your feet."
"Well, how 10 you like my spats?"
Yonkers Statesman.
Grif Alexander, In Pittsburgh Dlspat.
Because we need the money, we.
The People, needs must put a tax
On something! That we all agree!
Hut what that something is still racks
The minds of statesmen wise and good
To help them 1 will not refuse.
Fo, let me see! I think It should
Be something that 1 do not use!
I use tobacco, turnips, spoons.
Hooks, magazine beef, trousers, chees
Shirts, spectacles, paste, scissors, primes.
Imported beer, fine blended tea
Coats, theater ticket mutton chops,
Asparagus, verse, underwear.
French fried potatoes, lemon drops.
Shoes, ink, tomato sauce, a chair,
A series) of brushes, fish.
Mint, memory, a mind, a mat.
A ring, a cake of soap, a rllsh,
Ami lots of little thinps like that
1 need each in my business, or
tt aturia mv Iclanire like a aem.
So please forget them, buddies for
You must not put a tax on them.
Upon the other hand, my friends.
1 nnl iio A liriVnf. VftCht.
Champagne, pills, powders, rsndle-enda,
A k,.nn twmlr n, whl,k' tlOt
An auto, olive gruel, spats.
Kea etocKings, cigaieiies, i.
Pies sweet potatoes, opera hats
For such I do not care a fig.
. . . . 1 . i .n.. tn.llf..nnr( u t
Just sock 'em without loss of tlm!
just tax em to me num. uu.
To all their fasclnatlona I'm
"Now, would yon have a fern for a
centerpiece, or a rosebush In bloom?"
"My dear, scenery Is all right in Its
Save The Baby
Use the reliable
Ei OR Li Glrt'S
' ORIGINAL
Malted Milk
Upbuild very part of th body efficiently.
Endorsed by thousands of Physicians,
Mother and Nurses the world over for
more than a quarter of a century.
Convenient, no cooking' nor additional
it, i ell. Jiu.!..!...,..
rouarequirvu. oimpiytuawutwiuwawi. -Agrees
when other food often fail.
Sample free, HORUC1CS, Racine. WiK
DSTNo Substltuta ls"Jut Good"
as HORLICK'S, the Original
sa..Jfs..,a
- vv -v m
tr -f c r l rr
' ''pi" " ""JET I
, GAtSOLIHE
Your money's worth
in miles per gallon.
Polarine Lengthens
the life of your car.
Standard Oil Company
tMKBRASIHAt
Omaiia
e - " - m -
3
SI III! A Sr . S- r T II T"5
Everybody enjoy Krug LUXUS. The man after a
trip above the clouds finds it soothing and refresh
ing. So will you. Save the coupons and get premium.
PHONE DOUGLAS 1889
Luxus Mercantile Co., Distributors
and have a case sent home
V esW3, 4fUjAAX.
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sVwWt sXey XajJ
s.d tad
eU e
..1 1 fill t V- -J k
"5?
J
THE OMAHA BEE IS THE
IS THE FAMILY KEWSPAPER