Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, June 10, 1915, Page 6, Image 6

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    THE HKK: 0MA1LA. TJlt.'lWDAV. .IL'XK N, 1!I13.
THE "OMAHA DAILY DEE
rOUNTOD BT UPWARD ROSKWAT1TR.
VICTOR ROSEWATKR. EDITOR.
TV Bee Publishing Compeny, Proprietor.
BEB BU1LD1XO. FA R.N AH AND KEVF.NTCKNTII.
wntered -at Omaha poetofflce aa pecond-elses matter.
TERMS Or SUBSCRIPTION.
By carrier By TnaJI
per month. p-r yesr.
ip, fly enr1 tindav w W f
"ally without Hunday....' 4
Evening and Jundiv
Evening without Sunday V. 00
Sunday Pee only
Pnd notlr ( ebar.ee of addresa or complaint of
Irregularity la delivery ta Omaha Bee, Circulation
Impertinent.
RfcMITTANCK.
Remit br draft, prm or postal order." Only two
rent stamps received In payment of email aa
eminta. Personal check, except on Omaha and eattem
exchange, not aocepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Bee Building.
South Omaha Sii N srreet.
Council Bluffs 14 North Main Street.
Lincoln Little Building.
Chtcarf-fn Hearst HulKllna
New York Room ll, tw Fifth avenue,
ft. Iwils-MS New Bank of 4'oinmerce.
Washington 7 Fourteenth St.. N. W. .
OOKBEHPONDENCB.
Address communications relating to newe and edi
torial aiatter ta Omaha Wee. JUJltortai Depertmtut.
MAY C1KCI LATIO.M,
53,345
State of Nebraska. County of Douglss. aa:
lwlht William, circulation mnir of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly worn, aaya that thtt
average circulation for the month of May, 1915. wee
nwmilT 'WILLIAMS. Crculatlon Manager.
Subscrlred In my tweecnee and sworn to before
me, thte 3d d-y of .Tunc, imx.
ROBERT Hl'NTER. Notary Public.
Suhecrlbera leaving the city temporarily""
should have The Ikni mailed to them. Ad
rlrens will be changed aa oftrn aa reaestfHi.
ff fM 10
TTtought for the Day
5e eefeef h, Mr JV. C Tewa
"Iytt not your torrm-t rtaeK another's ears,
TM all your Joy$ ta lt$nen othtr'$ ftori. "
Olv ui "safety first" uber elles at the
bathing beach.
Tha Russian bear mutt be evolutlng Into a
captured "goat."
Wonder bow it will affect the demand for
chautauqna dates.
Count on 'Brother Charlie" sticking, no
matter what may happen.
Greater Omaha Is coming delayed only by
a few red-tape detail.
So the senator "bad bis suspicions." But
the secretary bad the senator under suspicion
first.
The enforced retirement of the good ship
Piffle also relieves the anxieties of eastern hot
air warriors.
Greater Omaha's youngest foster child
should take a few doses of Ak-Bar-Beo "pep"
find look pleasant. . 5
The deep grief of the senator's hyphenated
personal organ over the exit of Bryan from the
cabinet is bard to conceal.
Rumors of peace spjlng from trifling Inel
dtnts to emphasise a universal hope. Realisa
tion is masked in the impenetrable future.
Jspsn is yet a novice In politics. In course
ot time the maximum of $600 as a "split" with a
tablnet officer will be relegated to ward heelers.
' Still, there is nothing in the court proceed
ings to prevent the electric light company from
inaugurating its promised rate reduction right
now.
This should be the psychololglval moment
for the reappearance of those two little girls in
blue who used to sing "Bryan! Bryant Echo
His Name."
The Naval academy inquiry leaves no room
for doubling the "preparedness" of the middles
for examination trouble. The trouble they
found is quite different.
Two Nebraskans .have been blown up by
foreign explosives. Another Nebraskan la blow
lLg up disobedient transit officials in New York.
The state shares the spotlight with the world.
The toughest predicament of all, however,
besets those of the still expectant pie-counter
I rtgade force to guess which of Nebraska's two
distinguished democrats will really have the say
in the allotment of the Jobs.
A Colorado "sport" Is squealing over the
loss of 8,000 In a fske horse race. The won
der is bow people without enough mental en
ergy to read the newspapers secure the means
to break into the sucker class.
f ; iutJtfjCUtA
r-He-s aJ lL-
The marriage of Rills K Pierbower and Mi
Eleanora Hoyd, daughter of Mr. and Mra. Jamea V
Hoyd, was ne of the moat brilliant weddings that
ever took place at Trinity. The uehera were Arthur
Wakeley, K. . Kaff. K. It. iahoji, V. H. Megulv.
N. K. Barkalow, J. A. Monroe, Frank Hamilton an I
Robert Patrick, and the inalis. the Misses Jeaaie Bl
toit. Carrte IJams, Maude Purroughs of Iecatur. 111.,
and Kilia Tompklna. Bishop Worthington performod
the ceremony, allcd by Ian Millepaukh. The
lridemHls were all attired iu crepe de chine over
Kl.iia allk. trimml In white late, mlille the bride's
cixtuiue u of white aatln and white ducheaae laca,
with court train and allk tulle veil. The eouvenirs
for the nuiUle were elegant turquoie braceleta and for
the uehera gold pine act with a large pearL
The faculty of the Omaha Medical college here
ebx.tvd It. J. V. IivnUe president and Dr. Fwlug
i'.rowa ae'THary for the eoaulng year.
Jerry Catamtugh. an old catcher of the In ton Pa
fifu. p&ased through Omaha on hla way te h'aeh-
111, here te w ll (lay tlte coining aeaaon.
MU( Krnn Hott ef Ft. Louie la the gueet of her
eiKtrc, Mme (Jiiile (coit, Taeniy-fourth and Capitol
e enue.
Mr. Q. U. Vallace tiled to Morning Bun, O..
V- the of the tiangeroua lllneaa of her father.
Juilrf My Mooie and Mra. Will Ogden or Uooola
aj t jrm of ir. and Mra. t. . Uundy, Jr.
Is Bryan a Victim of Conspiracy f
The spectacular exit of Secretary Bryan from
the cabinet naturally starts gossip and specula
tion. In his behslf worshipers at the Bryan
thrlne are already picturing; him as the victim
of a gigantic conspiracy, which, falling to keep
Lira out of the president's official family, began
efforts at once to discredit him, and kept at it
incessantly tin til they have now to use a street
expression "got his goat."
But we are constrained to doubt that Mr.
Bryan thinks himself a victim of conspiracy or
feels that he was forced to resign except as a
consequence of his own deliberately taken posi
tion in conflict with the policy determined on
by the president. His friends cannot make the
conspiracy charge stick without including Mr.
Wilson on the side of the conspirators, either
as one of them or as being used by them to
accomplish their ends, which they will
hardly do.
When Mr. Bryan went into the cabinet he
knew he would not He on a bed of roses; that
he would be the target for the political bomb
throwers; that he would get plenty of blame
and mighty little credit. And he has really
done nothing on his own account distinguishable
from the team work of the whole administration
tl'at would call for a conspiracy aimed particu
larly against him. The truth Is, as The Bee lias
already said, Mr. Bryan has disappointed both
friends and foes in remaining In the cabinet and
submitting to vubordlnatlon so long as he has.
Perhaps he himself hoped to complete the wbole
four years with the president, but no one else
had such expectation. It Just Is not in Mr.
Bryan, any more than in Mr. Wilson, to have
someone else tell him what he must or must not
ay and do.
Another Billion-Dollar Crop.
According to the crop reporting bureau ot
the Department of Agriculture, King Wheat Is
to Join with King Corn and King Cotton on the
throne of eminence, supported by the ten-figure
expression of value, and will hereafter be reck
oned in the billion-dollar ranks. This is a con
crete answer to those prophets of alarm, who
6nly a few months ago were nervously warning
us that we did not produce enough. Farmers
of the wheat belt have responded with splendid
enthusiasm to the stimulus afforded by the ab
normal conditions that prevail, and have made
ample provision for feeding the world Its white
bread. The crop as at present estimated will
provide bountifully for all domestic wants and
leave nearly 400,000,000 bushels for export.
Nebraska's share in this will be considerable,
this state having risen to the position of second
wheat producer in the union. Other crops in
Nebraska are coming along on the same scale,
with the most encouraging prospects of fulfill
ing the promise of the spring for a bountiful
yield. It Is surely the farmer's year, and the
prosperity that depends on the harvest is al
ready certain as anything In the future can be.
Bit of Breeze in Great Britain.
While the Irish were willing to declare a
BiOratorlum on local politics, pending settle
ment of the more momentous questions engross
ing the attention of British statesmen, it was
not to be expected that they would tit silent
while an outspoken opponent was lifted to
power in Ireland through the agency of what
was to be a patriotic reformation ot the cabinet.
Therefore, the breexe tbat blew up in the House
ct Commons over the proposed appointment of
Mr. Campbell to the position of chancellor ot
the Dublin university need shock no one.
Home rule ,1s dearer today than ever to the
Irish heart, for the very good reason that it is
nearer at band than ever. It had already been
a fact accomplished bad it not been for the
strenuous tactics of the Ulsterltes, who boldly
threatened .rebellion, and whose activity In
armed opposition waa only suspended by toe
declaration ot war that involved Great Britain
In the European war. Neither of the Irish tac
tions has tor moment looked upon the home
rule question as other than unfinished business,
to be taken up Immediately the war will permit.
This being so, It looks from this distance as it
the unionists had made a tactical blunder in
trying to "put one over" on the nationalists.
This ebullition may not seriously embarrass
the coalition cabinet, bat It -will give them due
vernlng to keep away from the Jar tbat contains
the explosive mixture of Irish politics.
When the "Julia" Comet to Town.
Dally bulletins are now being received her
alding the dignified but determined approach of
the good ship "Julia," which is persistently
breasting the swirling current of the Missouri
on its ey to Omaha. While the hurrying
public Is still giving its heed to bulletins from
the battlefield, resignations from the cabinet
and announcements from Mexico, those who are
concerned In river navigation are watching the
progress ot the "Julia" with hopeful apprehen
sion. As "tall oaks from little acorns grow,"
so it is trustfully hoped- a great fleet of flat
bottomed steamboats may evolve from the wake
of this gallant little vessel and the river again
become alive with the argosies of commerce.
When the "Julia" does arrive Omaha will have
ita start on its river fleet, and in after years,
when the sandbars are washed by the swell ot
passing boats and the echoes in the gullies are
Disturbed by the leadsman's calls or the pilot's
signals, old men will tell of the time when the
"Julia" came to town and blew the breath of
1'fe into th port of Omaha.
Ever since Adam gave his approval to the
figleaf as a fashionable summer costume snor
ing haa been esteemed one of the inalienable
rights of husbands. It is one of the very few
rights that has escaped the ravages of the
enemy. Even aa a last ditch defenne it does not
cemmand the veneration 410 to centuries of
ownership. A modern Kve of New York, imbued
with the recklessness of the times, boldly storms
the defense and demands a divorce because her
husband snores. Fortunately, hope of a suc
cessful defense Is not lost. The happiness ot
Ms kind rests with a Judge noted as a stickler
for time-honored precedents.
The wonders ot horticultural science are not
fsr behind developments la mechanics and cbem
Utry. It is solemnly announced that plaat life
generate the emotions of hate and love. The
discovery reduces the cheatlnesa of the human
family as monv "'U of good and evil.
Problem of the Jitney
Boatoa Transcript
NO ONE can read the monthly reports of street rail
way rompaniee operating In cities where Jitney
competition preta la without perceiving an amas
Ing dcrreaae in earnings, compared with the corre
sponding portion of the preceding year. Many a
person assumes that the question la restricted to the
street railways and Jltneya, and touches tho rest of
the community only as It ftirnlshea aa additional
transportation facility. This attitude Indlcatea an
utter fnllure to comprehend the part which atreet
rallwaya have played In the development of our cities.
It haa been the duty of a public service transportation
company, at the requeat of the public, to extend tta
lines from time to time Into outlying districts, when
the dearth ot population promisee nothing but a loss.
In many rnms for a long period. The law, however,
has generally recognised that If the service aa
whole vlel'Jn a fair leturn on tho investment It is not
unreasonable to require eitenatone unprofitable In
themselves, provided excessive rates In other auc
tions of the community are not established and main
tained to produce the fair return. This process has
greatly accelerated the enhancement of property
values, aa all real estate intereata and retailers will
attest. If the street rallwaya, because of unregulated
Jitney competition, should now feel obliged to remove
some of these unprofitable lines, a condition end not
a theory would confront rot only the public who ride,
hut all pereorts Interested In the prosperity of the com
munity. The receipts of the great majority of city railways
are secured under the flat-rate ajmtem, establishing
a uniform fare in the city at large, without neces
sarily being restricted by the city limits. Tho sone
system, or taking of an additional fare whenever u
certain gecgraphlcal limit la paseed, has aeldom met
with popular favor In thla country. Under the flat
rate method the margin of profit for the company Is
at Ita maximum In the crowded sections, and should
outweigh the lossea suffered by the company In the
thinly population districts. It can be said, therefore,
that the heart of the city encompaesea the vitals of
the atreet railway the particular spot chosen by the
Jitneys for attack.
As the number of available passengers Is practically
fixed, whatever business la acquired by the Jitneys
means a corresponding lose to the railways. A con
stant drain of aap from the trunk of a tree will cause
the brances to die. In like manner the remote lines
of the etreU railway will be the first to go. It
cannot aa a whole be forced to operate at a loss, snd
will therefore try to retrench In the easiest way.
"Will the Jitney assume the burden thus laid down?
All the evidence bearing on this point suggests an
emphatle negative. In the first place, unlike a suc
cessful street railway. It cannot be forced to do so,
and, secondly, the losses from operation In the outly
ing districts under the ordinary street railway fare
would make it pronlbltlve. The very material reduc
tion In property valuea by the removal of the street
railway lines, and the failure of the Jitney to act as
a valid auhst tuto, would not only be felt In a particu
lar district, but through the whole city, whose success
la Intimately connected with the success of the trans
portation system.
What la the remedy? Obviously a community
cannot afford to suffer great depreciation In property
valuea by allowing Ita transportation system to be
crippled. If the J'tney were In a position to cover
tho whole field the case might be different. The
halcyon days of the year are now at hand for this
form of conveyance, and It la high time for all cities
where the competition prevails to realise the Issues
at stake and be prepared to meet the situation with
appropriate legislation, not to injure the Jitney, but
to protect the community against the unfortunate re
sults of unregulated competition. Under the regime
of competing atreet rallwaya the past haa shown the
public to be the ultimate sufferer. It should therefore
be unnecessary for each city, like a child that falls
to profit by the Instruction of Its elders, to undergo
the same unhappy experience.
Twice Told Tales
Told tho Tratts.
A Boston physician tells of a Dr. Reed who,' In hie
time, waa one of the prominent medicos of the Hub,
His large practice Included many patients outside of
the city limits, and these he visited In his buggy.
One day Mr. Reed bought a aew horse, with which
lie was much pleased until he discovered that the
animal had an Insurmountable objection to bridges of
all klnda, and could not bo made to cross one.
Inasmuch aa at that period It was necessary te
cross certain bridges In order to reach any one of the
surrounding towns, the doctor decided to sell his horse.
He did not think It iiecesrary to mention the animal's
peculiarity, but waa much too honest to misrepresent
him. and, after thought, produoed the following ad
vertisement, wh'i'h he Insetted In a local paper:
"For Sale A bay horse, warranted sound and kind.
The only reason for selling Is because the owner ts
obliged to leave Boston," Pittsburgh Chronicle Tele
graph. Karatlaa Ilia Treaeera.
A village clergyman, walking round his parish.
met sn old partshoner. "Well, John," he said, "how
Is It I have not seen you at church for several Sun
davsV "Hain't got no Sunday .trousers," answered
John. "Well," said the clergyman, "I think we can
remedy that. I have a pair at home which will Just
about fit you, and I will have them sent to you today."
"Thank'ee!" aa'd John. The trousers were duly sent
and the following three Sundays John waa seen at
church. Then, after being absent for some time, the
clergyman again met him.
"Well, John." he said, "you have no excuse for
not coming to church lately. How Is it I have not
seen you there?" "Look here, .parson!" said John.
I tike a man to speak plain. I know what yot mean;
you're a-thlnklnt about them trousers. I come to
church three Sundays, an', if you don't think I earned
them trousers, Just tell me how many more Sundays
1 shall ha' to 00 me afore they're mine altogether!"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
People and Events
"Amerlcanlxatlon day" la planned In New Tork
for the purpose of Inculcating In the product of the
melting pot the importance of living up to the spirit
of tbe republio snd banishing tho Idea Of divided
allegiance. The task Is a large one, but la worth the
eftort.
The sumutery teatdenta ot May's Landing. N. J.,
annoyed by a sandlot preacher, showed him the road
out of town and warned him to stay away until he
waa aent for. He waa accused of talking too loud.
too long and too personal, three Intolerable offenses
aialnst the pursuit of happiness by the seaside.
Halah Johnson a wealthy and magnetic farmer ot
Missouri, standa to pay lt,K damages for alienating
the affections of the wife ot Peter Deford. one of
Johnsons Unanta. In affirming the Judgment the stste
supreme court intimated that It waa a plain case of
"too much Johnson, and carried the tight to pay
fcr It.
ikiwn In Monterey. Mex.. a raUUng bunch of revolu
tionists tackled the shop of an Hal an. Rafael Fer
rlsno. When the amoke of battle lifted five of tho
laldere were dead, Iwlve wounded and FVrrigno un
harmed. A leglment of Ferrlgnoa on the Ittnnao front
right now would be worth more thau a million In
Mexico.
Mrs. Alice Harrison of Denver finished a century
of years last week. Her health record flouts modern
specifics for long life. She made no special effort m
diet, exercise, fresh air or other supposed essentials.
Just did what normal people do ate what she pleased.
took her medkine when prescribed and stuck to the
sedentary habit of aew lag and reading.
Words of Joyful Import oome out of St. Louie.
Colonel Abe Slspeky ta alive and welt. The report
that he had perished ha the front trenches of the wrar
ts thus hapilly discredited. The distinguished is a man
ot peace. At laat accounts be waa the beerer of a nu-s
sage of eympathy ant good will to a politician Interned
In tho Missouri penitentiary for circulating fovd
papers.
"There Is Km Heath."
OMAHA, June .-To the Editor of The
Bee: The beautiful, touching poem en
titled "There Is No Death" In Tuesday's
Bee (published only In part) Is the crea
tion of Mr. J. U MoCreery. a native of
owa and at one time editor of the
Delaware County Journal of that state.
The poem was written In IMS and was
first published la Arthur's Home Maga
tine In July ot that year. The author
ship of the poem was for many years er
roneously attributed to Lord Lytton, the
English poet. A thorough Investigation
carried on by Llppineotts a few years
ago fully established the authorship. The
poem haa been printed In every state of
tho union, In England, Scotland. Ireland,
Wales, Canada and oven In Australia.
It has gone Into dosens of kinds of schoot
hooks and Incorporated In scores of mis
cellaneous collections of poetry. It has
been quoted In full or In part many times
on the floor of congress.
i viur
Mr. McCreery has for several years
-m Mbaraii
past been a resident of the national
capital (Washington. D. C.) and his best
poems tare been published in a volume
I . (-
entitled "Songs of Toll and Triumph."
Someone haa altered the words In sev
eral of the stansas that does not Im
prove the original poem.
DR. L. A. MERRIAM.
Menace ef the Balldoar.
LINCOLN. June To the Editor of
The Bee: The painful death this week
of the small daughter of a Havelock cltl
sen from the ferocious attack ot a bull
dog again raises the question why civil
ized communities, so-called, permit these
deadly, treacherous animals to live.
The mosquito and the fly, the tipsy
motorist and the pistol toter are under
the ban of society's displeasure, and we
enact laws to protect children and adutts
from the menace of their existence but
the menace of the build Increases year
by year.
Not long ago In Omaha a bulldog seised
a 1-year-old girl on the walk In front of
her home and shook her as a terrier
shakes a rat, tearing her scalp and dis
figuring her face. After lying at the
point of death, in agony, for many days,
she survives to faoe life upon a lower
plane of happiness and possible achieve
ment. The bulldog that wrought this
tragedy In the life of this Omaha baby
girl and brought unmeasured sorrow to
her parents was "a great family pet."
He' was "perfectly harmless," and he
wouldn't hurt anybody." These are the
silly stock phrases which the owners of
these peats always apply to their peta.
and which, even after the tragedy at
Havelock, they will continue to apply to
them.
The city tloense tax on dogs doesn't
reach the spot, although the dog catoher
does noble work. What we really need
for bulldogs is an official dog poisoner.
The cave man In time gave up his sling
and his hatchet, and In time he will give
up his bulldog. Let us hope that the
suffering and death of the little girl at
Havelock will hasten the day.
F. J. IRWIN.
Tips On Home Topics
Washington Star Sport is sometimes
made of tho graduation essay, but history
shows that its advtoe will sooner or later
bo repeated In the utterances of respon
Yw
sible statesmanship.
Wall Street Journal: The law Is fairly
settled. Business men need only square
their actions with the law. Not since the
'rule of reaaoa" decisions has there been
an opinion handed down destined to do
more lasting good than tho one Just
written by Judas Joseph Bufflngton In
the oase against United States Steel.
Houston Post: We are told that a
Nebraska farm hand haa Inherited
17.000,000 Just at the beginning of a wheat
harvest. If anything like that were ever
to happen to us, we know the mall car
rier wouldn't get around with a notice
until the laat paragraph had been written
and we were on our way to prayer meet-
Ins- But we were never very lucky.
Philadelphia Reoord: Inquiry into the
Rook Island railroad receivership falls
to make It appear leas discreditable. The
counsel of the road testifies that tho
directors were not consulted aa to the
application for a receivership because the
814 Be
consent of tho vice president was fully
as effective. Those are railroad directors
who direct! The receivers have lately
Issued a financial statement showing an
estimated surplus over fixed charges for
the eight months ending December SI
next of over $n,000,000; and yet they call
that a bankrupt road.
New York World: Great industries
cannot do bettor for themselves than to
accept the law in good faith and proceed
with their affaire, knowing, aa the court
said in the Steel Trust case, that "the
real teat ot monopoly Is not the size of
that which is acquired but the trad
power of that which Is not acquired.
There is no strong public sentiment thst
favors the, persecution ef business be
cause It la big. There should be no sen
timent In business that favors the pur
suit of Illegal practices because they are
profitable. Bualneaa can have peace on
clearly known terms, and thoae terms
are not onerous to honest men.
K. H.
Mr.
Editorial Viewpoint
a l
tenuis
Washington Post: How long would an
old-fashioned spelling bee last it the
words were selected from a war map?
lndtaoaols News: Anl now Balsull.
7-
FU,
who hasn't died sin- early last fall, is
mixing In the game again Juat as if ho
Gee,,
were fUhlng for another obituary notice,
Philadelphia Ledger: Secretary Dan-
Lm mt
ii'.a dreamed a superdream of greater
navies at Annapolis yesterday. But what
the country asks him Is to -stop dream
ing ot marvels and wake up to realities.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: When , he waa
fired from, the English cabinet Vlacouat
JUldaav got from King George the eroeo
of the Order of Merit. Just what sort
of Merit is not specified, but eoild It
he'.e been the meritorious bounce? .
Chicago Herald: Juat as tho Meaioans
have cot things In such a situation that
no enterprising bandit, no matter how
buiuble his birth, need despair ot a long
Sad lucrative career,' President Wilson
has to step la and try to spoil every
thing!
Houston Post: It aald that the la we
of the United States have clamped S,0O.
euO,uOO pieces of chewing gum In a year.
but as that didn't interfere with the
conversation, wo still contend that the
ears of the country are still the worst
overworked organs of the human
aaatoaoy.
IV
ft
IssBBsssaasasBBBiasxassasssBSi
get hold of and makes me walk the floo
GRINS AND GR0A1TS.
with it all mini. miiunon American.
"So you're convinced that your novel
In hopcle.s?"
"Absolutely." replied the young author.
I couldn't even sell It after I changed It
Into a war story." Life.
Pill This paper aaye that the American
demand for pearla ia greater than the,
supply and the prices are enajins."
Jill Juat my luck! Oysters have gone
out of style.' Tonkers Statesman.
When anybody comes sround talklna
about a new theory you always indorse
"Yea. I'd rather Indorse It than have.
It explslned to me." Washington Star.
Our new cook Is a great improvement
"Otir minister haa received a call from
somewhere at a hlaher salary, and I un
derstand he is at home ralng for guld-
nr' .
"What does his wife think sbottt It""
"Oh. she a pecking up." Boston Tran
script. "Can't you get the telephone to an
swer?" "No," replied Mr. CJrowcher: ''The
operator is one woman I'd like to meet.
8lie doesn't show the sliahtest disposition
to talk back." Washington Star.
Counsel Now. where did he kiss you?
Plaintiff On the lips. sir.
Counsel No! no! You don't under
stand! I mean, where were you?
Plaintiff (blushing) In hla arms, sir.
Boston Transcript.
over the old one."
"In what wayr'
"8he only requires s week's notice
when we are going to have company fop
dinner." Philadelphia Ledger.
LED ASTRAY.
New Tork Time.
Back In my youth I knew a boy of morals
good and true:
Hed never awear. nor play at cards nor
would he smoke or chew.
He alwaya aald a little prayer before he
went to sleep.
And asked the angels 'round his bed their
guardian watch to keen.
At Indian war and cowboya he was never
known to play.
But wished that Sunday ewhoot would
have three aessiona every day.
He meant to be a missionary to some sav-
sge horde,
And now for his goodness he Is reaping
hie reward:
yES he'a acting for the Movies now!
He Is Into every vllllan sort of row;
As a Western dead-shot killer he's the
champion graveyard filler.
For he'a acting for the Movies now.
And In those happy youthful days Ii hail
a sweetheart fair.
With big blue eyed, and rosy cheeks, snd
curly golden hair:
I used to walk with her from school, the
pretty little miss,
And in our childish innocence we thought
no wrong to kiss.
But when alie grew into her teens so dig
nified was she
That on our past- "frivolities' she'd
sternly censure me:
She said she waa ashamed of them, and
now her life's one aim
Was rescuing the millions from their
course of moral shame;
AND nhe's posing for the Movies now!
K.verv kind of mushy fooling she'll allow;
Both In comedy and thrtlly-una she's a
fav'rlte of the millions.
For she's posing for the Movies now.
KABIBBLE
KABARET
ctsovsVxfrn tJN
HrnJSStlXD CARES
vun sjrtrrcaeii m m ktos raxa
" ' ; J
AMP KKUS Trite Bnrurrao Awtmim
Bridegroom (on railway tralnl What
makes you think I don't love you any
more?
Bride (pouting When we passed
through the tunnel you never kissed me.
Judge.
"Say," said the man as he entered the
clothing store, "I bought this suit here
less than two weeks ago and it is rusty
looking already."
"Well." replied the clothing dealer. "I
guaranteed It to wear like iron, didn't
I ?" Cincinnati Enquirer.
"Have you any creepers shout your
houae?"
"Yea one."
"What kind is It?"
"Very fat, breaks up everything It can
fj Some men
have never
learned the art
of smoking
and they miss
a lot of enjoy
mentJOthere are hardened
smokers in
ured to black,
cigars. QStill
others and most of, us are in this class, vote
for temperate smoking and temperate smok
ing surely calls for "moderate1 cigars. Tom
Moore is the first choice of many a moderate
smoker. Because it is a "modulated" Havana.
it
They always come back for Moore
TomMoohe
CIGAR ID
Zittlm Tat 5$
(neat AewWa'glilsfefefsee'Ms nsdMcifsr WtUthm, U ' Utile Tm
Best Ktusell Clga f
aha. Distributor,
khcumatlom Can Be Cured
,UfI,i'.Wh'Bbi n,w oot win poeltlTely our Rheumatlim
Jn ten daya. Stop suffering and avoid serious complications which gnu
bother you for 'life. Call or writ for testimonials and taU 1 paraoulaVa
DR. W.
W. BOWSER
Osnaha, Nebraska.
Boildlng
it
&1t BOH
READ, ENJOY. AND BENEFIT BY THESE
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World-Kaewa Aataority
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