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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 16, 1915)
TOE OUATtA SUNDAY BEE: It XT IS, 1915.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEB
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATKR.
VICTOR ROSKWATER. EDITOR.
Th Bfte Publishing Company, Proprietor.
EK BU1LDINQ. FARNAM AND ggVENTEXNTlt
Tntr4 at Omsh poet office m seconfl-cUa matter.
TERM 9 or SUBSCRIPTION.
Br carrier By well
par month. per year.
Pally ana "under ... c $ "
llljr without Sunday.. J "J
.Wvening and Sunday SI
Krfiml without Sunday 12
Runday He only.. ::'.' V.":lJ' .
Send nntic of chnr of addreta or ooitipllBt of
Irregularity 1 delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation
Remit br drufl. espren o- postal order. Only tw.
rent poslas ntstnps received la pymnt or small ac
counts lrotil checks, except oa Omaha end eastsra
egchanse. pot accepted.
Omaha The Be Biilldlns;.
South Omihn-2318 N street.
Co-.inrll Hluffs 14 North Main Street.
. Lincoln 2 LIU1 Bulldln:.
Chlrapro n Hearst Hulldln.
New York Room 1NW. 7X Fifth tTWiua,
Pt. Iouls SOS New Bank of Commerce.
War.Uton fourteenth 8L. N. Vt.
Address eommunlcationa relstins; to Mi anil edl-
torlal matter to Omaha Bee. Editorial Department.
APRIL Kt XDAY CIRCULATION,
State of Nehrnska. County of rtonglas. :
Dwlsht William, circulation mnairr, ssys
'that the sveraa- Sunday circulation for the month
f April. ll. wm 47,oki.
DVTKiHT WIUJAMS. Circulation Manager.
Eunacrmed In my presence and worn to before
m. thla let day of May, 1915.
KOBKRT HUNTER, Notary Public
Subscribers Wring the city temporarily
shonld have) The) Ik mallod to thorn. Ad
drew will be changed aa often M rwqneatod.
Thought for the Day
c4 by F. P. Lmim
' H eonqmn twic4 who restrains himttlf in
Victor g. Lord Bacon. ,
Mora and better boulsvards make for ths
city beautiful and enhance the joy of living.
Dead men tell po tales, but their' estates
send disquieting Information to the tax' office.
At last the diplomatic pen has another
chance to measure its might beside the military
That' exploit In holding up a hold-up estab
lishes rrsl qualifications for. membership In
Our get-together meetings over here might
be advantageously emulated by the warring fac-
'tlons of Europe, ,
About the easiest way. of acquiring a for
tune nowadays is to bump , against a moving
train or fall off a street car.
As usual, it develops that much of teat up
lift street-corner oratory aa galvanised by hope
of aa air-cushioned seat, in a city tall payroll
chair. .. . . ' '.V
Water consumers in , Cleveland pay only ft
cents a thousand gallons as against SI cents a
thousand gallons in Omaha. Again we ask,
All the transcontinental auto touring should
be routed over the Lincoln Highway. A long
pull, a strong pull and a pull all along the line
wUl do It. ,
"Never holler till you're out of the woods,"
but, just the same, let's congratulate ourselves
on the freedom of Omaha from labor troubles
this season. - -
By stripping royal enemies of knightly gar
ters the British people demonstrate that when a
mighty blow Is 'ready; for delivery they "let
George do it."
Until the submarines are equipped with
machinery to bore through sandbars, Omaha will
withhold Its demand for fortification of the
banks of the "Big Muddy,"
Following The Bee's suggestion that It is
better to neil down the light rate reduction in
reach first, and then have a lawsuit later if
necessary, would have been more Immediately
fruitful of practical results.
In the coming class ot SIS High school grad
uates 122 are girls and 96 boys. The dispro
portion of the sexes is a melancholy reminder
that ths men of the future will experience great
dificulty in holding up their end of ths conversation.
Harking' the "Oregon" Trail.
The Nebraska Historical society and the
Daughters of the American Revolution are still
busily engsged st setting up monuments to mark
the course of ths "Oregon" trail across central
Nebraska. When this task Is finally completed,
the more important task of marking the Over
land trail should be taken up. The Oregon trail
had but little to do with the development of Ne
braska. Its course across the state Is but an
off-shoot of the Santa Fe trail, and it was not
the track of the Argonauts. The real avenue of
traffic between the east and west was the Over
land trail, with which the Oregon converged and
lost its identity.
' The romance of the Overland will never die.
nor will Its tale of wonders ever be entirely told.
Men yet living recall Its life In vivid memories;
Its argosies of wealth, Its tide of hopeful anima
tion, in endless movement across plains anl
mountain ranges, from the river to the Golden
Gate. No one knows the tons of merchandise
that went west, nor the millions of gold that
tame east along this route, but none who knew
the Overland trail can forget its characteristic
Omaha's real greatness was born In that day
when It became the real "Gate City," and
through It poured the surges of a stream of traf
fie that ever swelled until it brought the grU
transcontinental railroads to supplant the "bull
outfit" on this hlghwsy of commerce.
Omaha still holds that commanding position,
scd through It still Is poured a stream of traffic
of immeiute proportions. Rome dsy the city win
erect a proper memorial to Its pioneers, and the
Overland will be the central figure. -
Romance of the Submarine.
The tragedy wrought Jiy a German subma
rine off the southern coast of Ireland ten days
ago links the dream of an Irishman with the land
which supplied the teal and the energy out of
which sprang the first successful nnderwster
craft in the United 8tates.
Half a century ago John P. Holland was
numbered among the active leaders of the
Fenlsn Brotherhood quartered In New York
City. Many of them were civil war veteran,
fresh from southern battlefields and Imbued
with the Idea that Ireland could be freed by force.
The abortive Fenian raid on Canada was part of
the plan of campaign and an equally fruitless
"rising" in Ireland brought the movement to a
melancholy finish. Holland regarded a military
movement for the freedom of Ireland as fool
hardy and ridiculous. Britain's strength, he as
serted, wss In its nsvy, and by striking the navy
a blow would be dealt at the vitals of British
power. He urged the Fenian warriors to fui
nlsh the means wherewith to build the diving
craft he had planned and be would "blow the
British navy out of the water."
By his sgsoclates Holland was regarded as
an Inventive hobby rider, harmless, but annoy
ing. His scheme wss treated with derisive con
tempt, snd reference to the inventor usually
called forth the remark, "Poor fellow; he's
craty." Unmoved and undismayed by the scof
fers, Holland persisted In developing his plans
and managed to gain an occasional hearing in
Influential quarters. It wss brought to the at
tention of the British government in the '80's.
but was flouted, as was a like plsn by Robert
Fulton during the Napoleonic wars.
Time and persistent effort, coupled with suc
cessful demonstrations, won from dry deck navy
advocates an acknowledgement of the value of
the submarine as a coast defense. Thirty yesrs
after the Fenian collapse the first Holland sub
marine, built on government orders, was
launched In American waters and' fulfilled the
agreed tests successfully. ,
It Is a singular circumstance that an idea
prompted by the hope of Irish freedom, and
wrought into steel, should become the Invisible
Instrument of the greatest marine tragedy that
ever happened within the shadows of ths Irish
Wan ted; A Workhouse.
Omaha's program for municipal betterment
will not fully meet requirements if It does not
Include the erection of a workhouse, which has
at last been made possible by the necessary ena
bling legislation. The money put in a work
farm and workhouse will be returned in several
different ways. To keep jail prisoners occupied
at useful and healthful employment la a baslo
rule of modern prison management To make
the offenders against society at least partially
self-supporting Instead of idle parasites living
at the expense of law-abfdtng citizens is the first
principle of fairness. Over and above all of
these, however, stands out the burden which
Omaha has suffered from being known as an
"easy town" for tramps and hoboes where no
punishment Is meted out to them more distaste
ful thsn an enforced rest cure. A workhouse
would put Omaha on the hobo map as a place
to keep away from, and that advertisement alone
rould be worth the money.'- ' ' ' '';
A Step Forward in Syndicalism.
One of the unexpected economic "develop
ments of the European war is manifest Jn Eng
land in the new relations between the govern
ment and the men engaged In the industries of
the United Kingdom. .Only a little while back
something of an acute situation had arisen,
which brought ssveral suggested remedies. One
of the expedients proposed was the "nationaliza
tion" or the works, another the abolition or the
liquor traffic, and each of these received for its
time serious consideration. The solution has
come In another, and entirely unexpected way.
The workmen in the big Industries of England
mostly concerned in the war, through the co
operation of twenty-two trade unions, sent to
the premier a telegram, "We will deliver the
goods," but asking that they also be given some
representation on the committee that is to have
charge of directing the delivery. This request
(was granted, and the workmen are represented
on the committee, which Is made up of cabinet
officers, department heads, employers and work
men. ' ,
At Liverpool the matter went a little further,
the 'dockers there entering Into an agreement
with the government which almost amounts to
the enlistment of the nnion. These novel and
significant innovations are commented on very
extensively by the Nation, which says:
Thar are obvious Hake from the workers' point
f view la the Introduction of military discipline,
von for a special purpose: but. oa the other' band,
her Is a thorough scheme for decasualising labor,
and one feature of It ts the compulsion on dockers to
belong to their walon. After this, can we revert to
the old ton a boat the sacred rlghta of the non
unionists? Will H be possible when next the unions
or any union tnakea a determined effort to eliminate
non-union labor to roraet thla striking tribute to the
Justice and value of the principle T And even If we
allow to the full for the Ineortu latency of human na
ture, casual and nonunion labor must be doomed, at
any rate at the Liverpool dock. Hlmllarly with thla
Important etep on the northeast ooaat, the workers
have been called In for a. special purpose, but the
effect will not end there or with thoae work are. What
la sood for the making; of guns la sood for tna mak
Ins of khakii what la good for the neoeeMtlee of war
Is good far the purpoaee of pesos.
The progress of this new adjustment of in
dustrial relations will be watched with consid
erable Interest on this side ot the water. While
as yet It reasonably may be regarded as an
experiment, born of the exigencies of the war,
iu continuance Into time or peace is foreshad
owed. Syndicalism, despite its crudities, has
here shown something that may be serviceable,
and the action or the British government is a
tribute to the truth or the Idea and a symptom
or its growing power.
Twenty-two yesrs sgo the Columbian naval
parade In New York harbor presented the high
est type ot warships then afloat. It Included
the famous American white fleet of 1S9I, and
visiting warships of foreign nations. The
present naval gathering is exclusively Amer
ican. Nothing better visualises the advance la
naval construction than the assertion of aa
expert that one of the modern dreadnaughta In
the harbor could demolish and sink ths assem
bled fleet of 113 without endangering Itself.
mr vtCToa sonvirfs.
WITH real rrgrat I am compelled to decline an
Invitation to the Inauguration of the new pre.
Ident of Johns Hopkln university this week,
which Is to be co-lncldent with the format opening of
the milldlnss of the university on Its rw campus at
) Tome wood In suburban Baltimore. Aa a former
student of Johns Hopkins and also aa a former
student under Prof. Ooodnow at Columbia, now trans
ferred to tha headship of the Baltimore Institution. I
would like to be there, and then, too, the principal
address Is to be delivered by President Wood row Wil
son, whose claeaee I attended when he was a lecturer
at Hopklna. These Inaugurations of university presi
dents are equally Impoatnr and Impressive, and almost
aa significant, as tha Inauguration of White House
presidents, and while It Is unusual. It Is not un
precedented, for White House presidents to participate
In the Inaugural ceremonies for university presidents.
I remember attending ths Installation of President
Nicholas Murray Butler of Columbia, at which ths
other central f Inure wss President Roosevelt, also a
graduate of Columbia, and hie appearance was nat
rally the capstone of the academic festlvltlea. Again,
three years ao T waa oommlsidoned to represent the
University of Nebraska at the Installation of Preeldent
Hlbbeti ot Princeton, which Included the conferring of
honorary degrees on President Taft and Chief Justice
White, who both responded with addreases. In the
coming celebration, at Johna Hopkins, President Wil
son will have a peculiar prlvllea of greeting as presi
dent of the university from which he, himself, grad
uated, and in which he Instituted the teaching of ad
ministrative law, a new president who has come up.
by virtue of work along the very aame line, for Presi
dent Ooodnow made his reputation aa a professor of
administrative law accompanied by practical work In
government administration, his last mission having
been that of legal advisor to the president of tha new
republic of China. i
And the thing worth 'mentioning In this connec
tion Is the fact that Johna Hopkins university ts being
transplanted from the buslnesa center of Baltimore
to Homewood In order to enjoy a new consolidated
campus and equipment tor Its natural future growth
the advantages ef which are considered to far out
weigh tha disadvantages and cost of abandoning and
disposing of the outgrown downtown plant. The
directors of the destiny of Johns Hopkins, In othr
words, were confronted with th, ssme campus situa
tion as waa the University of Nebraska, but decided
without hesitation for removal.
Perhaps I may with propriety here repeat some
observation I made to Chancellor Avery two years
aso, I had been down to Lincoln for the university
commencement, and on my return wrote him a letter,
omitting Introductory paragraph, as follows:
"X think you should make a great deal more of
your graduating exercises and functions than yon ho.
This oocsslon offer an opportunity to draw attention
to the university, and lis work, thst should be fully
utilised, first, to bring In the parents and relatives nf
the graduating students; second, to cell back the
alumni who graduated before, and third, to get all
the good and wholesome publicity that ia possible.
Tha desired results perhaps cannot be obtained at
once, but It can by cumulative effort In a few years.
"The parents and relatives will come In If assure.!
of special attention, and some entertainment offered
that would make thorn feel ' their presence ap
preciated. "The alumni of former yeara must . be becoming
numerous enough now to Justify home-coming reunions
as they have been In eastern collegea every fifth
year. A pioneer alumni organisation Including all
whoa degrees dat back twenty or twenty-five years
could be mad a magnetlo fore, and an effort one
a year to bring together all the ex-regents who have
served on the board would keep their Interest stimu
lated. "The publicity aid seems to roe to be very inade
quately worked out The academlo procession
could be much more Impreaalve, and the announce
ment of scholarship and prlxea should be beldfor
, tha climax effort. The . work aeoomplUhed by the
nlvsrslty could be brought together in some sort of
an exhibit or exposition, etc 'While an educational
Institution cannot. In self-respect, go outside certain
limits, tt can easily hold the limelight through Its
somraeneement exercises without lowering Its dignity."
. Brother Vdswoomb of the Geneva Plant! paid m
tha compliment of reprinting In full what I aald in
thla .column of the meeting of the . Nebraska 6tat
Press association, including my reference to his re
markable career aa a blind editor, and to his par
tlclpatton in the theater party given the viaitors,
which Inspired my wonderment aa to what Impressions
such a show oould make upon a man who could only
Mr. Edgeoomb dleousses the performance with as
much appreciation aa if he had seen the entrancing
)art" capering before him. "The fashionably dreaaed
young lady's gown,' ba writ, "waa cut ao low In
the back that tha V extended the depth of her short
waist Bart's aid comment was, 'What a long neck!
The front of the eoetun was somewhat mora mod
arete, and wheel the young lady faced about, 8a rl
atepped on tip-to to peek, Thee might b called the
high llghta of tha show. A theater full of fashionably
dressed Omaha people had paid stiff prioea for seats
and they seemed well satisfied. Of course, ther were
very fine stag ssttmgs, good singing and elegant
costumes, and a lot of stags buslneea that the Imagi
nation can readily supply If one has aeon a per
formance or two of thla character."
In explanation, be also Is kind enough to sayi "I
do not err with Mr. Roaewater et what h oould.
er could not. do If be war deprived of sight He ta
man of resources, and I am sure he would find a
way to do hie work oa The Be vary well indeed. In
aom waya ther would be obatactea, even limitations,
but he would find them surprUtngly few. if h had to
make the effort." i
Initial steps war taken thla week to torn a
local Pre club, for which I hop a smoother road
to travel than ita predaceasora. But Omaha la
bigger than It waa whan the last social organisa
tion of newspaper pencil pushers main talced but
a fitful and temporary existence, Thla la the day
of co-eperatlon and team work in all lines of profea
atonal and buatnesa activity, and Journalism Is fast
gaining the atatua of a profession.
SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT.
VH M1MT av
Thla waa clreua day with Bella Bros.' enow a
the attraction, but bad Weather prevented them carry
ing away nearly the amount of money expected, espe
cially at night when the rain cam down In torranta,
but the performera went through their acta in mud
and water almost shoetop deep.
William Qreunebaum la tha happy father ot a
The street oar company has completed Its Thir
teenth street extension and will make the run through
to Ilaell park. Tha company- haa also constructed
a relief stable oa South Tenth cear tha tracks.
At a bar meeting Judas Wakeley appointed W. J.
Council. D. W. Ambrose. W. A. Hsdlck. H. S. B. Ken
nedy and B. W. Blmeral aa committee to act with
the county comrataelonera on the opening of tha county
Mr. 7U J. Duncan, faablonabte dressmaker. Invites
patronage at her rooma In the Crouna block.
Fusee FWd, th humorist of tha Chicago New,
ta la th cfey, along with other celebrities of th circus.
A young eon-ef Ttenry T. Clarke fell from tha top
of th tap of th high school to the basement bolew,
fracturing aa arm.
A thoroughly competent second girl can find a posi
tion with Mrs. Moras, southwest corner of Capitol ave
nue and Nineteenth.
Foeton Transcript: Rev. A. Z. Oonrad
save that " a censorship of both th presa
and atae la neceessry." snd he mlclit
have Included th pulpit.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: It nobody
ever say that Billy Sunday Is not actu
ated by a love for humanity. He has
declined to pose for the movies.
Indianapolis News: When they pro
posed to Introduce prohibition In England
the dean of Canterbury added one more
to Csnterbury Tales. He told why he
wouldn't ride on the water wagoa.
St. Ixiuln Republic: Why ahould re
ligious sstherlngs perspire and grow le
Indoors in summer. Instead of flourishing
outdoors? There are base ball games
and park vaudeville to call people out
doors on summer Sundays. Our rcllRiou
leaders criticise the things, but what
are they doing to solve the problem con
structively? Wher 1 the church's eld
power to masa men and women for praise
and worship under the open heaven when
the leaves are green and the sun bright?
TABLOIDS OP SCIENCE.
Ths caterpillar rang ef vision has
been measured. It is two-fifths of an
In m New York City will have 19,000,000
people and the United Metes 300.O00.0O0,
75 per cent of whom will live in cities
fllxty years' supply of natural gas at
th present rata of conaumptlon haa been
wasted in Oklahoma In recent years, ac
cording to government figures.
To test th danger of mine gases an
Englishman has invented a delicate ma
chine which photographically measure tha
duration of the flash of an explosion.
Concrete as a material for gate struc
tures In American irrigation canals Is be
ginning to displace wood. It durability
overcoming th disadvantage of nlgher
By th use ef a partial vacuum the
United States Department ot Arrleulturs
has developed a hydrocyanic acid process
for fumigating Imported seed more rapidly
After extensive experiments two Eng
lish chemists have perfected sulphur dyee
with which It is possible to color wool,
silk, hemp and other fibers satisfactorily
A cow that give twenty-five pounds ot
milk a day in two milking will give
about 9S.I pounds If milked three times a
day. So says a German experimenter.
The percentage of fat remains the same.
Notwithstanding the great amount ot
timber on th Pacific coast there is a
very meager aupply of hard wood, and
much of ths oak mad use of In the
western part of this country Is Imported
from the eastern countries of Asia.
AROUND THE CITIES.
Sioux City plumbers are out on a strike
for a boost of wagss from gt.SO to $5 a
In a fly-swatting contest at Columbus,
O., th contestsnts ran up a score of 19,019
dead ones. ,
In the hot foundries of Belleville, lit.,
buttermilk Is to supplant beer as a sum
For tax purpoaea Kansas City. . M&,
Is vslued at 1308,000,000. The tax rat is
11.33 per tlOO for city purposes, i ,
St Paul reports an Increase' of 3$ per
cent In horn building in th last toir
months over the same period last year. '
Tomorrow th .citlsens of Ames, la.,
will vote on the question of Issuing 141,000
Jin bonds with which to rear a city hall.
The Commercial club of Portland, Ore.,
has a standing offsr ot $10 to aayons
who can find a hole In any pavement
in that olty as big as a man's hat
Cheyenne Is striving for th honor and
emolument ot being th horse market of
the west. Buyers for warring nations are
giving th city a place on th horse map.
A farm of SGO acres near Fort Dodge,
la., sold recently for $-'00 an acre, netting
th owner $72,000. Th seller bought th
land twenty-one yeara ago for $27.50 an
Des Molnea succeeded In boosting Its
eensus total up to 103,063. To the list
are to be added th namea of residents
Involuntarily sojourning In state institu
tions. Minneapolis has launched a children's
protection movement which comprehends
exclusion from downtown districts st
night rescue of th fallen, and effective
supervision of dance halls, pool rooms
aad movie shows.
Minneapolis wilt be saved. Evangelist
Sunday has given definite assurance that
he will surely com to lead th hosts of
light against tha demons of darknsas.
Opposition of Lutheran ministers could
not swsrv him from coming to the
At th ene of tw hours and forty-fiv
minute eleven pupils from th Irving
and Hunt grade schools of Sioux City
were up-standing and unscathed In a
spelling contest ta which thirty-two
pupils participated. Twenty-one were
SIGNPOSTS OF PROGRESS.
: A California genius hss rissed up a
motorcycle with battery and motor, ao
that he dispenses with th as of gao-
Cow bams are modal et cleanliness In
Hoi lend. Some farmers pise mats be
fore th doors and visitors must wlp
their feet beffore entering.
Government Irrigation projects com
pleted or under wsy rerresent aa ex
penditure of more than S.sc.000.000 and In
volve the reclamation of 5, M0. til acres.
Th aswest refrigerator is built oa ths
"knock-down" prlnclpls. It nsy b
tskea entirely apart for cleandng and
then reassembled without th use of a
Th dimensions to which the grepho-
phon business haa gTwn may be Judged
front th fact that Caruso Is receiving
ttt.OOS a year In royalties on the new
record which h haa tnada.
There are 680.000 telephone, of. which
$90,009 are for bualnee purposes. In New
York. London, Parti, Berlin and Vienna,
In peace or war. hav not so many tele
phone among them.
A letter carrier at th Manchester (X,
H.) poatofflo haa solved th problem of
sorting out mall whan en dark streets.
He has a small electric light with a re
fleeter attached ta hi coat aad by turn,
lag on th switch h can bold to mall
ta front ot hint and read th address
AO th coast fort ef th Vnited States
are being equipped with new towers that
resemble asnaU light houaea. Battery
commander wtU use thee tower for
b rratloa Purpoaea, because they over
look th gun and emplacements aad are
wlthla calling dlstano of th gunasra
People and Events
The contention thst women live longer
thsn men Is not open to argument In
The fight on Die yellow peril of th
lawns la a running mst for the struggle
against the h. o. 1. It's on dsrn dig
The antl-treating bill went through one
branch of the Wisconsin legislature with
a whoop, but with an amendment per
mitting a person to treat his wife or a
iclatlve. Th lstter proviso puts tiny
white speck In the modern revival of
Connecticut's blue lews.
A Pennsylvania farmer, who "dis
charged" without recompense, an eld
erly alster, who hsd worked for him as
housekeeper for eleven years, was unable
to convince a Jury that board and lodg-
Ing waa enough for th service. Ths
Jury fixed the amount of the back pay
A gleam ot International amity com
ing from Spain brightens th edge of
gloom In Europe. King Alfonso haa given
a cordial endorsement to the Interna
tional Institute for Girls st Madrid, ex
pressed In an autograph letter of thanks
to Its American director. Miss Sussn D.
Fines Colonel Roosevelt allied himself
with the Anglo-French forces In this
country his name hss been restured to
th good grace of th Nw TorX Herald
and emphasised In capital letters. Three
yesrs ago the colonel's nam could not
break Into tha Herald columns with a
According to reports ot the American
Medical association, the first month's
operation of the federal anti-drug lawi
gives much encouragement There has
been no crime wave or trail of sulcids
and death aa was feared, but there haa
been many admissions of drug victims
to hospitals, with, in many cases, bright
prospects of recovery.
Th Jitney promises to become a prac
tical factor In th transportation system
of Vermont. A number of fine roads
built with state aid are a great incen
tive to automobtllng, and Is th main
Impulse to th cross-stat automobile
line, which waa Inaugurated this month.
Regular service over scheduled , routes
untouched by railroads 1 maintained
and the innovation is hailed as the great
est thriller Vermont has experienced
since Dewey smote th dons at Manila.
Ambition Is th yeast that causes a
man to rise to the occasion.
The only time many a fellow uses his
head is when he wants to butt in.
Gossip will generally get there without
the sid of a special delivery stamp.
The man who feels that he Is a law
unto himself aVwaya respects the law. .
Few things are so futile aa a bachelor
and a married man giving each other
Every fellow tell a girl he ian't worthy
of her, but he doesn't expect her to be
- Many a man sings. his own praise whose
musical education has been sadly neg
lected. An optlinUt Is a person who smiles at
knocks; a pessimist la a . person who
knocks at smiles.
The great trouble about taking a chance
ia that you can't always .put , It back
where you found it ' ...
A fellow sometimes doesn't know
whether he is really engaged, or whether
he merely has an option on th girt
About the only thlnsa aome people never
put off until tomorrow Sr the disagree
able things they ean do today. -
He y vou are a tssy. Impudent trifling
blockhead, that you get drunk at every
opportunity, and that you will sesl any
thing you can lay your hands on."
"Well, sah uh-kee. pee. hee! yo' rtuh
hear what h says 'bout yo', sah: -Judge.
DRAW A LITTLE NEARER. '
Not understood. We move along asuiu
Our path grow widr as th sessont
Along the years: we msrvel and we
wonder M ,.
Why life Is life, snd then ws fall
Not understood. We gather false Im
And hug them closer as the year goby.
Till virtue often seems to us transgres
aions. And thus men lis and fall and live sad
Not undertood. Poor souls with stunted
vision . .
Oft messure giants by their narrow
The poUoned ahafts of faleehood and de
rision . , .
Are oft impelled 'gain it those who mold
Kot understood. The secret spring et
action . .
Which lie beneath the surface and th
Are disregarded: with self-satisfaction
' We ludge our neighlrore. and they of
ten go ...
Not unrtersrood. How trifles often
Th thoughtloss sentence or the fspcied
Destroy long years of friendship and es
And on our souls there falls a freesing
Not understood. How many hearts are
For lack of sympathy! Ah. day by day
How many cheerless, lonely heart are
How many noble spirits pass away
O, God, that men ahould see a little
Or Judge less harshly when they can
O, God. that men would draw a tittle
To on another! They'd be nearer
Customer (annoyed) I wish to return
this .paper cutter. It Is not ivory, as rep
Clerk Not ivory, madam? I can't un
derstand that, unleas the elephant had
false teeth. Washington Star.
"She's head over heela in love with
"Yea. she's got to ths point where sh
can't see how she can possibly live with
out the automobile he owns." Detroit
City Editor-How did the Howler get a
full account of th fashionable wedding
when we couldn't get a man Into th
Aaaiatant They sent a brand new re
porter and he looked so scared that they
mistook him for the bridegroom and let
him In. Philadelphia Ledger.
"Tou war a very long time going oa
that errand, Tommle?"
"Ves. mother; but you see I'm entered
In a race at school tomorrow, and I
wanted - to save my speed." Tonkers
Circus Manager (to applicant) Tou say
you want a Job in the sideshow, eh? What
are your qualifications as a freak
Applicant (proudly) I am the only liv
ing author who has not written the inside
story of the great war. Life.
"What'd your bess say when you asked
for a raise und told him you'd grown gray
In hie eervlce V
"Told me where, to get som hair dye."
"The colonel certainly gives you a
gaudy setting-out in this recommendation.
The Mason ft Hamlin yiano
costs a little morsw . '
But why Not?
The difterenoe in tone qual
ity far exceeds the advance In
price over any - other high
grade piano. '.!
A satisfactory action, a re
sponsive key movement and a
lasting and durably built piano
is the point desired. .
Then why. not now. a Mason
& Hamlin PlanoT-
$550 buys an upright.
$800 boys a grand. .
We carry only dependale
and time-tried instruments
KRANICH & BACH
BUSH & LANE
and other makes ranging la
price from 1190 up.
Our stock ot slightly used
pianos refinished in our own
factory and fully guaranteed,
sell tor $83, $125, $150. $175
up to $275 for a refinished
$5.00 Per Month Pays for One
A. HOSPE CO.
1513 Douglas St.
llinois Central El. R.
Choice of circuitous and direct routes
to New York and Boston. Attractive routes
to all Eastern Resorts.
Optional Cccan, Lake and River Trips
Lict TJa Aesigt in Planning Trip Affording Visit at Prin
cipal Cities and Summer Hesorta in the East
Long and Short limit Ticket on Sal After June 1st.
Information and Attractive literature freely furnished.
District Passenger Agent
Phone Douglas 264. 407 South 16th St., Omaha, Neb.
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