THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNT HD BT KDWAtD ROSEWATKR.
VICTOR nOSKWATEH. EDITOR.
Tee Bee Publishing Company. Proprietor.
FB BUILDING, FARNAM AND ITKVF.NTEKNTH.
ICntared at Omaha postcfflce as second-class matter.
vwfly snd Htmdsv
rtly without Sunday...
-ntng and Sunday
Evening without Sunday.
unsay He only
I No Matter Who'! Elected.
j While the office-seekers in their talXfests,
and through their publicity organs, are paint
In rosy picture of the wonderful thing they
will do for Omaha If elected, and telling what
dire disasters swalt us it they are beaten, there
Are a few things which It will be well for the
thinking elttxen who refuses to be stampeded
by loud noise or big type to remember.
No matter who's elected, Omaha Is going to
TEKMS Or aCBSCRIPTION.
By cirrlr By mail
per month. per nr.
Me M
se e h a&sB. srwsaeeseee i -00 J i . , a t -
40c... so I continue 10 torge arietta in tne procession oi pro
.J(x..
, 4.00 ,
irresulerlty
Department.
in delivery to Omaha Bm,
Circulation
4 gross! ve and thriving western cities.
Pe1 notice of rhat.se of sddreea er complaint of ) V matter who'll elected, the machinery of
' RKMPTTANCK.
Bewilt bv draft, espreae or postal order. Only two
rent stamps reralved In psyment of email ac
count, l'erennal cheeks, except on Omaha end eastern
exchange, not accepted. .
,
OFFICES.
Omaha Th Be Building.
tout Omaha fill N tret.
Coiin-tl Bluifa-14 North Mala street.
. Lincoln IS Little Building
Chicago em Hearst BulMIng
New Torn Kooro I1M, 2M fifth avenue ,
ft. Louls-MS New Bank of Commerce.
Waahlnaton 1 Fourteenth Bt., N. W.
i CORRESPONDENTS.
Mnam communications reUtlnv to news and edl
anal matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Depart meet.
APKIL C1RCXLATIOX,
53,406 .
that the
Apr.(,Nli. waa
Plate f Kehrssks. County of Douglas, aa. i
. Dwlght Williams, circulation menaor of The Bee
j ur.ii-nina company, neing ouiy aworn,
wriit circulation ror ino roontn ot
u.to.
DWlOlfT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager
Vubecrfhed In my presence Snd aworn to before
tne. this lat day of May,. 1M6.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public.
' 8abwcTlbm leaving the , city . temporarily
' abasjld bav The Be mailed to these. Ad
draw will bo c&angod aa of tea aa req-toatd.
t
Way
Thought for th Day
a SJmte4 y fforanc Coo '
And wAf abundant eauM for thank have 7,
tAal J a are been tatly landed on a there to fair
and pleasant and enabled to open ntfne tyre in
peace and love on eo v( a Maf mining.
Margaret Smith't'joumal. '
Today4a Ihe'diy.
It' op to you, Mr, Omaha. Voter,
... " . j a ,-La
Sure winner bonda end baae ball.
Recall lut November, and note the differ
nee between the long ballot and the short bal
lot l
Seeing that all are agreed that it la to bo
aa "honest, election," let na hay no "honoring"
after It 1 over.
It every, dtlseo doea hla duty rightly, the
promise of Greater Omaha will bo reallied ' In
the prforoatico. , ! .
. .The quleacenco of our nonparttaan Water
'board boaa during the Juat eloaeVl nonpartisan,
eity campaiga t oso of iu unique feature.
Having gottea paat May day withoat aerioua
labor trouble, the proapect for uninterrupted
industrial peaeo hereabout looka fairly good.
It goeo without saying that the tornado belt
(Could not melntatft its place on the map with
out a few little twisters at this aeaion of the
year. .
K Tbo tumult afai the shouting dies away. The
"hours or the sovereign voters are at hand. A
just Judgment at the ballot box eialteth , the
'commualty. ' ' . ' .'
Remember that the polls close at 6 p. m. this
,tlme. .Hereafter by virtue of a newly enacted
law, voting hours wll) be between 8 o'clock la
.tbo morning and I o'clock at night. f
.4- I '
Hata off to Medicine Hat! The Justly cfl.
braterl weather factory fits action to needs by
ending, along a cool wave to chas away cam
ipafgu heatJund purify the atmosphere. '
' National jankers are invited to answer a
new aad unusual oertes of questloua about their
, bjainese. Just as soon as a banker stops to ad
mlrej the scenery o Easy atreet, John Skelten
Williams' book yanks him bacji to the Informa
tion bureau. ' ' ' . ' f
our city government will continue to revolve,
the taxes will he approximately the same, and
we will got for onr money no more than we pay
for.
No matter who's elected, the general moral
tevel of 'th community, which U already high,
will rise Only along with the general moral stan
dards of the people who live here.
No matter .who's elected, the police snd the
fire department will both be kept busy putting
out conflagrations that break loose periodically
conflagrations caused by over-heated inflam
mables, and conflagrations caused by over
heated men and women.
No matter who's elected, the conflict be
tween the public service corporations and tie
people will be waged fn varying degrees of In
tensity. 'Whenever the corporations think they
are getting 'the worst of It. they will appeal to
the courta; whenever their patrons think they
are getting the worst of It, they will appeal to
the voters. '
No matter who'a elected. Omaha will be a
bigger, better and grander city for people to
live in next year 4han It is this year, just aa It
is this year bigger, better and grander than It
was last year, the year before,' or the year be
fore that. '
An Anti-Fee-Grabbing- Deciiion,
The fee-grabbing business Is not confined to
this vicinity, but neither is It any more popular
elsewhere than it Is here, if a decision Just ren
dered in Pennsylvania reflects the tendency of
the times. Tho gist of It may be gathered from
the following editorial comment, taken from the
Philadelphia Bulletin, which should be Interest
ing reading In connection with certain similar
conditions out here: '
Fee grabbers lh public " office In thla state will
not derive much comfort from the decision of Justice
Ntawart, on behalf of the supreme oourt. In ordering
court clerks to turn their nhare of fare eollected from
applicants for naturalisation Into the county treasur
ies, despite the federal law allowing than to ratal a
half. .. .
In support of this poaltloni Jiwtloe Stewsrt a opin
ion unequivocally upholds and enforces the provision
of the constitution, which declares that "all county
officers Who are, or may be. salaried, shall pay all
face which they may be authorised to receive Into
the treasury of the county or state, aa may bo di
rected by law." This Is a clause which on many oc
casion In the past has been mora honored In the
breach than the observance and even today Insenlous
devices are resorted to at many a oounty seat to do
feat its plain purpose and Intent. Repeated efforts
have been mad to construe Its wording so as to'
grant exceptions, and the judgment of one ef the up
state common pleas courts now reversed la the very
case lit point, showed that there waa still some doubt
which the fiat Interpretation of Justice Btawmrt ought
forever to clear away.
It la IllUe ahert of scandaloua for any publle offi
cial drawing a salary tor hi aervicaa to seek la ad
dition feea nd commissions collected from the publle
( for various sorts of proceedings and procasaas. But
me county oincea nave neen nnneyuomneu with thla
species ef illegitimate "picking" andNonly persistant
vigilance na, succeeded In limiting It .as much as it
has been. s "
It Is hardly necessary for The Bee to add any
thing to what the Bulletin says except that fee
grabbing Is certainly doomed because It cannot
bo defended. . '
Tho nation's' defensive powers are much
greater thau 'Congressman Gardner dolefully
pictures. - The long rango artillery duel . of
Walsh and Rockefeller
n-- " w tuat tUf
country's reserve stock of smooth bores Is equal j
to any emergency. i
As a life saver the pulmotor ranks anions- th 1
moat Important Inventions of the age. Within
a week It restored, the breath of life to si
Omaha unfortunate and brought lire to a baby
and two firemen In New York City. The in
ventor of the device deserves not only tho sub
etaatia! reward of merit, but also the decorative
tributes of appreciative humanity.
. . . . . .-I
ii i- e -
eewewkmmmmm
Aimed at Omaha
The school board elected J. J. Point president and
Charlea Coaaoyer secretary for the ensuing yeaf.
Curbing and guttering on south Tenth street la
being pushed along rapidly', .
The fnloa Pacific ha a lasued Invitation to about
thirty-five or forty Omaha tlusen to accompany 'de
paitmeot offidale oa a flea hum trip lo .Portland, the
trip to extend over about tea days. 1 . .....
H. K. Wood a Jolly and companionable young
ma. who fo to years has ialdd In Omaha as
etate a flit of the North American Mtrcahiile snd
.British Ineuranue company, la leaving for ra Moines,
where fce Is to be loisted. -
Oeorg A. lay, one of Omaha's bright young Irga!
l;hla. will U!t part of this week at Hlieukndoeh
The four repieaentallvea of the C regon Khott Una
eharehuldcrs, Menu. Iavltt Buronam, Thomas 8.
rr, leitia Young and George 1UU. met at tUe
l'uloa Pacific tieadituartrr and elected te following
board of directors: Sidney Dillon of New York, Fred
U Ames. 1 Oor4" Oil to, UUlia Atkins of Boston
and 6. B, Csllaw, ot'oruaha. Owe latter succeeding
.I H. 11. Clark.
Al Corajah. a r'aiug young attorney of Uncoln,
here viaitii hia brelber, JC i of th firm of
'jrri!h & BaJVetl , "
' ' Sanday on the High Seal. . . ,
Sunday waa a glorious day, tull of sunshine
and the joyous life of mid-spring, broken hero
and there by the dart ot a torpedo or the ex
plosion of a mine, under th crack of which
gallant ship reeled and sank,-while the crew
scampered for the boats, some dying from shock
and some from the flying fragments of wreck
age. Anxious eyes searched the surface ot tha
waters for tho appearance of the periscope,
which ever and anon flashed to the under-sea
destroyer the presence of Its quarry. How often
this acene waa repeated Is not known, but the
terror of war baa Its grip on the high sea, now
as It has on the land. The beautiful aprln?
time, with all lta Inspiration to life and Ita in
centive to creative work. 1 witnessing destruc
tion on a scale that man never before equalled.
God made a beautiful world, and man la turn
ing it into a veritable Inferno, and pretending
to do it in the name of human progress!
Life and LoajreYity.
What course of personal conduct best tends
to the continuation of the Individual life! The
never-ending argument concerning this question
hua been revived by the report of a life Insur
ance president, with a wide angle of divergence
between authorities who have analysed and com
pared the same set of figures. Factors that op
erate tor or against longevity are weighed,
valued, discarded, as the action suits the pur
pose of the analyst, and the conclusions tell lit
tle that way be taken as absolute.
What really constitutes life? Is it action, or
Is It merely existence? Which is the most use
ful, the man who gives his all In energy to servi
tee. or bliu who conserves his forces and thereby
prolongs his days? He lives most who accom
plishes most; activity in useful, productive or
constructive effort is the real teat of lite.
Length ot year may content some, but restless.
energetic souls will press forward, regardless of
time, striving tor a goal tney may never attain,
but always striving, and these only really live.
' Life iasursace. presidents, being Interested In
the prolongation of existence of risks, bend their
efforts to the teaching of element ot living, the !
gvqtdaace of excesses, exposures, or unnecessary '
risk of any hind, and In this way really serve the -i
world, because they Increase the productive years
of man.' As a' result. of modern methods, man
really lives longer and better: but this is not tho
al!-laai.oC life.. To live Is to be active, to have
a part In the creative effort ot mankind, regard
less of whether the span be long or short, so long
as it Is busy, for ''an end is aa end, whether It
cometh on the winged heels of a week or the
dull stretch of a century."- -
Hastinas Tribune: The Omaha Bea la meeting with
splendid succee with Its petition to toe governor of
Oeorcia. aakina to save I o M. Frank from the death
penally. The Bee's movement la a good one and w
see no good reaaon why every Nebraskan should not
sign the petition.
Mantlntr Tribune: If there la each a thing as on
man owning a metropolis that man Is Mayor Jim, the
Omeha wonder.
Islington Pioneer: A woman ra Owiaba wsa kissed
by a man without permission. She sued htm for
I'Aono damages snd got only ll.ono. to her chagrin and
that of her lawyers. A Colorado legislator was kissed
without permission' by a woman right In the legisla
tive halls. Old he bring suit against her? Not much;
be kissed her right beck egaln. There's a difference
la people.
Auburn Herald: A stolen kiss cost an Omaha man
a thousand dollars when the Injured lady sued him
for damage. However, If she tries to market any
at that price she wilt bump Into competition en th
part of the maidens who are witling te supply an
equally good. If not superior article, for leas money.
Columbus Telegrsm: If the people of Omaha can
bring the national republican convention to that city
next yenr, the. prise will ha worth all th money it
will cost. Thousand of eastern and southern people
annually vlelt the Rocky mountain states, and the
Pacific coast, but they never atop In the corn belt
long enough to tske a half-way look at the finest
agricultural landscapes under th sun. Nebraska has
an association of commercial clubs. The Telegram
believes the allied commercial cluba should Join hands
with Omaha In th effort te bring that great conven
tion to this slat. The direct benefit will, of eourae,
be to Omaha, but indirectly the bringing of thouaands
of substantial eastern and southern people out to the
prairies will be te the advantage of all Nebraska. And
so the Telegram appeals to the commercial clubs ot
Nebraska to lend hand and heart and purse to Omaha
In one' united and Intelligent effort to win for Nebraska-one
of the really great conventions of 1M. ' It
csu be done. Nebraskan can do anything when they
try their best.
Tekamah Journal. The has ben season of the
Western league has opened and In the first week, of
play It will be noted that Omaha la ocoupytng first
place. Thla Is encouraging to thoeo. Nebraska fane
who have pinned their faith In the Omaha bunch for
the last several years. -Wepeak of It new for fear
there may not bs another time thla year when the
Omaha team will occupy the place at the top of the
heap. ..
Kearney Hub:. An Omaha wonts offers a large
sum In cash prises fer ehlldren who will dig the
greatest number of dandelions. That might be a good
stunt for the city government te pult. eft, in the
absence of another public spirited womagt e'r other per
son in Kearney. '
Grand Island Independent: Thai Omaha woman
who aued for tMl.OOO damage for one kisa forced upon
her by one whe could be sued fer that sum. , waa
given a verdict of 11,000 by the Jury. If that, too, was
a contingency fee case, the attorney did fairly weM
at that. s '
Hastings Tribune Slnoe Omaha has adopted the
plan of parking automobiles In the enter of the
business streets a couple of eutoe have been stolen
right from under the police man'a nose. It would seem
that where automobile are perked there eneuld be a
checking system. .....
Oakland Independent: Conductor Kelly ef the Men
delssohn chorus in Omaha has tried for Tour years
to make Omaha people like high class music. He
contracted with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra to
co'-cperate with the chorus. The result was pleasing
te music lovers, but ef such there are not enough.
The concerta have been artistically successful, but not
so flftanolatlr, it Is stated- New Mr. Kelly Is tired of
the uphill work. But It Is the same all ever the world;
The average persons' -perfere burlesque to th heat
music ever written. ,'..
Mielton Clipper: A Council Bluffs (la.) meat has
been- asked to pay an Omaha, girl S1.0O for a forcible
kiss, that amount being the decision of a 'jury in
Judge Ixslle's district court. The young women of
Omsha would bn classed among the wealthiest people
In the country If all the fair sex of th metropolis
were fnrtuneto enough to secure a like amount for
every kiss stolen. .
Pender Times: The Nebraska Preaa association
waa royally entertained in Omaha ' If anything; the
entertainment waa toe good it reacts, when the news
paper crowd get home end have to live on the husks
again. Th meeting from every standpoint was a
success in every wsy.
' Twice Told Tales '
. Far fveaa AagpsMe. i
On evening during the . summer. ' as Pauline's
mother was putting her to bed, she sale.
"Now go right to sleep, dear. Dow't be afraid,
for Ood'a angels are watching over you."
Shortly after, while the mother and father were
reading In the library, the child called to her mother.
"Yea, dear," replied the metpee, "what ta ftr
N "Ood'a angela are bussing around awful, another.
cried the little girl, "and one er 'em's blttest me!"
Philadelphia Ledaer. -
I a Te Many.
little Ilelen wss a very bright child, and ber
mother waa very proud of her and very fond of ex
hibit Ins her when there were guests pr rot One
afternoon the mother was giving a little party, and
called for the girl to do some Imitations.
"She la so very clever,", beamed the mother as the
child appeared, "she can Imitate any one."
The father, who waa present, was also vary proud
of the child's accomplishments, and echoed:
"Indeed she can! Now. Helen, dear, pretend to be
the housemaid."
Helen came forward, bowing In front of oae of
the guests. .
Will you have some more tea, madam?" she
asked, politely. In an exact Imitation ef a maid; then,
turning to another ' guest, site said:, "Max I move
yout chair, madam? The sunlight Is so very strong
today." ' ;
The gueata weic very much Interested and enter
tained, aad asked Helen to do some more. The little,
girl, backing away from her father, who sat, a de
lighted spectator, esclatmed in a terrified tone:
"Oh, air, let ma go! Pon't touch me. sir! Olve
you a hug snd Waa, indeed! Supposing the missus
was to hear you?" New York Times.
; People and Events
Down at Lincoln tho political warfare haa
been Jaet as hot snd heavy as la Omsha, If not
mora so, although being a university town the
epithets hurled between the camps are etymolog
icall fcerhasa a Utile mora polite.
The Indiana reform fa er haa crossed lote Ohio.
flteuheovUle officials have been Indicted for graft.
Twenty-five hundred. fraudulent scales have been
dumped Into (ten Francisco- bay. The ajrposlUon clty
prxipoavs to give full weight for the money. .
Seats in the New York Stock exchange 'have ad.
vam-cd fiom Iti.fluO to XriO.COu alnce the first of the year.
No difference In the, plush, but the quantity ef "vat
et' has improved.
t'liauncey M. Depew acknowledges eighty-one year a
and Is proud ef It. Mis pride in the number Is one of
Chaunoey's Justly" celebrated stories. Like Andrew
Carnegla. th noted vecailat would fill out a Urge
check for the prlvileee of backing te SO yware ur
thereabouts.
Federal authorities III Chicago have confiscated
about a ton of ''baby food" la liquid form, containing
tU per cent ef alcohol and one -eighth of a grain of
sulphate of morphine to the fluid eunc. The dope Is
labeled "King of Baby Beo there." aad the content
comes ap te the label i
Preserve h Beauty Spots.
SOUTH OMAHA. May J.-To tho Edi
tor of The Bae: 1 read the piece written
by at. L.. concerning the habits of people
Jtolrut out to Prtea lake. I only wish
that every one In Qreater Omaha would
read this piece. I waa out last summer
with a little party and wtll aay that It in
a moat beautiful trip t go out to Pries
lake and then northwest until you strike
Kaufman road. At almoet every level
spot we would find there bad been a
rampflre made and the ground would be
strewn with egg sheila, paper and all
kinds of litter.
I note what M I aald cnoernltux the
flowers. I. would else aay what he said
in regard to his premlsee Is true, ef
Child's Point. Child's Point to one ot the
moat beautiful place that I have ever
visited. Yeara ago I frequent h rode a
horse to Child's Point and spent many
hours there. At that tune we could find
what we called Sweet Wllllame and the
wood were full of triolet, that we com
mon people call Johnny Jump-upe, also
honeysuckle, and a great many other
flowers. Today you wtll not find any of
tho white Sweet Wllllame or the red, and
a very few of the blue. It doee seem
that there should be some movement
started to save these two beautiful spots
so close to Greater Omaha from destruc
tion. If teachers would Instruct children
When they take them to these wood
lawns not to pick a flower of any klnoT-K
It would be a gTeat help. We note the
tendency In the spring for hptany classes
to try to get a specimen ef all kinds ot
flowers, which If continued wilt soon de
stroy all the rare flowers.
Mr. Child's people are aa magnanimous
aa M. L., and It ta our opinion that there
should be some effort on the part of
the public to respect their beautiful
pieoas of property, . otherwise they will
be compelled to bar the public. It sure
must be thoughtlessness on the pert of
the public ; . (. ..j..
O- A. R. Enrampaaent.
OMAJIA. May I. To the.EUItor of The
Bee: Mr. George O. Wallace Voices a
very timely sentiment toward securing
the 1B1 encampent of the Grand Army ot
the Republic, in Omaha. This meeting
will bo the fiftieth anniversary of thla
great organisation. And under Ita au
spices and meeting at the same time and
place will be held the naUonat meetings
ef five other of the great patriotic orders
and societies of this country, the mem
berehlp of which mount into hundreds
of thousands and whoae membesrhtp and
repreeentattvee will bring thousands to
ur city frero every state, territory and
posaeaelon belonging to th United Mates.
Scarcely a town of any else In the
unto but will be represented. We have
attended many of these great meetlnga
In tie peat: the rivalry between the
states Is of great Interest: Maaaaohuaetta
will vie with Ohio; New Torlrwlth Phil
adelphia; Alaska with Hawaii; CHba with
the Philippines
Competition for these meting runs high
-4here are already many cities com--pettng
for the 1HI encampment The city
of Washington, D. C. Is asking that the"
meetings be permanently located there.
We believe we are In the lead for this
meeting. Wlll we do honor to our city
and Invite this great meeting with Its
M0.00 te 300,000 patriotic Americana, from
all ever the United 'States, representing
the highest citizenship In the world, to
our city, to partake of our hospitality,
thus giving our nty a wider range ot ad
vertisement than tt has ever had before.
, To the signers this I only a matter of.
pride for our city. Personally we could
not be benefited in any way.
' . : - 8. K. SPALDING.
A. TRAYNOR, .
R. B.WIU30X, - '
- N. It. ORKpN, i
C. K. ADAMS.
Bewerita of City Plaant.
SIOUX CITY, May l.-To the Editor ef
The Bet: City planning la something ef
more importance than the mere ambition
for natural beauty, and It U not so Im
practicable as are the small taxpayers
whe refuse to Inquire Into the possibl
benefits. Small things are always an
noying, and the small taxpayer la one
of the moat annoying 'critters on God's
dirt, as Dr. William A. Sunday would
say. He la In the position of the little
fellow who is shooked by the discovery
that the world Is only part ef the uni
verse. The big man is alwaye planning some
thing with uses that will continually
arow greater; he oombinee the many
email things and ettminatee the waste ef
ooofltot between them. The little fellow,
however, stumbles along la the same un
eoovMirdoal rut He cannot be made to
see that a few cents epent new for pab
He parks, publlo schools, publle paved
streets, etc will mean eventually, v In
creased real estate vaiuea because of' aa
Increased human efficiency from in
creased opportunities for beneflcle.1 roo
reattos). All he notes are Uxp few cents
which, tf Instead of leevtng him at pres
ent, could probably keep him supplied in
tobaoee.
No. the trouble to not with the Idea ot
etty planning, but with those little fel
owe who aee selfishly, shortsightedly.
Pairishnesa la one of the fundamental
f Ufe. for no honest man loves his
neighbor better than himself; but there
to such a thing- aa petty eeinshneas, while
Its bitter opponent -to the higher eeirtah
neaa wbioa reoognlses that the greatest
good oomee to aja Individual from an
active willingness te let the other fellow
have bis share of benefits. The "hog- I
it-all" Idea of selfishness la obeetote. It
haa been learned that mere :
done not la llaelf bring aetisfartiow. Th
man, who wants to get all the benefits
of city planning la bis own neighborhood
Is shortsighted; he is afflicted with petty
selfishness. The perfect city, the richest
oUy. the hapjueet rtty. U that city with
out a sore spot; end it should be the aim
of every taxpayer to bring about the
happiest city, th richest city, the per
feet city, for he wiU then obtain a maxi
mum of real estste vaiuea
, CBCULi MONTAGUE.
OUT OF THE OBDINAJRT. '
A man In Cincinnati. Horace Thole, whe
to aeaf aad dumb, baa a-chauffeur's li
cense. He depend en his, sensitive skin
to detect sound.
Mrs. Lyale U Barron, T. Uvea all
alone, op her fruit farm near Pough
keepsle, N. Y-. and does all the work en
her place without help. She epent her
birthday clearing land oa which te set
out more tree.
pcaktaeT ot narrow escape and
charmed Uvea, a soldier In the English
army. William Clark, not only went
through the South African war unavathed.
but waa carving aa fireman on board both t
the Titanic and the. Kaipreaa ot India !
when those llnere wet down, and, es
caped without Injury, s
LiraS TO A LAUGH.
Yourur Reporter Vmi hsve been very
euccewjiful, sir. May 1 ask If you bes.t
at the bottom?
Maanate in a way. I Rot In on the
ground floor. Boeton Tranecript.
Her Father You hvo been paying at
tention to my daughter, lou haven't
proponed yet?
Ills Lordehin Not yet. sir.
Her Fsther Now' let us come right
down to business. Vt hat will' you take
not to propose? Ufe.
Poet I fear 1 haven't written anything
that will liv.
Friend Liook on the bright side of It.
Be thankful thst you are alive In spite
of what you have written. Fuck.
Orator s Wife Did the people ipplaud?
Orator (with bitterness) Applaud?
They made less noise than a rubber beel
In a feather bed ! iioaton Transcript.
"What the difference between a poli
tician and a statesman?"
- 1 figure It this way. A politician haa
to wear a slouch hat and a strtns; tie.
But a statesman Is sufficiently sure ef
his Job to feel that he can play golf with
out offending the plain people. "Louis
ville Courier-Journal.
"You give me ahort weight for my
money.'' expostulated the shopper to the
butcher.
"And you give me a long wait for
mine," retorted the butcher, who waa
a high -school graduate, acoustomnd to
lh niceties of lingual differentiation.
Philadelphia Ledger.
' '
3j
KABIB0LE
KABARET
"B sT A SMfMe IKE FACE,
t MMAS lJC AtWCaV
the time when a cabinet "''',"'
garded as a musical instrument. Jii'i-'
"Why did yeu say th late Mr. Bim '
Blms isn't dea.l." ' "
"1 know be ian'C" .
"Then why did you SFak -f hint in
your late friend T" '
itcaiise he s never on time." Haiti
more American.
Fund Mother Bohhle, eotne' here.
huve something awfully nice to tell you..
Hobble taeje ) Aw i don't cure 1 kmn
whnt It Is. Big brother's home from
college.
Fond Mother Why, Bobbie, how couH
yon fnieesT
Iiobble My bank don't rattle any mor .'
University of Nebraska Awgwan.
Judge Then when your wife seised ltn
weapon you ran out of the house ?
Plalntlff-Yee, sir.-
JikIhc But she might not have uaed it.
Plaintiff True, your honor. Maybe she,
picked up the flatlron Just to smooth
things over. Boston Transcript.
"1 furnished the punch," whispered one
lady as the hostess left th room. 1
suppose 1 would not have been invited
otherwise."
"I loaned the cards and the tables,"
said another.
"Bhe worked me for the sandwiches.':
announced third. "Looks like we're
givlns- the party." Louisville, Courier
Journal. '
"So glad to see you again.' dear. And
I've got such a lot of news fer you. Did
you know I was Interested hi business
now?'' seid the first sweet young thing.
"Whose?" asked the second, and thn
the conversation lagged perceptibly.
Philadelphia Ledger.
"Has you wife a sense of humor?"
"Sure. I told her all the automobile
Jokes I could and now she wants one of
the automobiles.' Washington Star.
"I've got the best memory of anybody
In this neighborhood!" bc.asted old Uncle
Rlppy. "Why, I. can actually recollect
THE CAT AND THE KETTLE
AND YOU.
J Pitting and smoking and thinking slope,
f HV the I-llfrf AM mttwm I . t.1 t
- .tt iriHt .if..
room. ,
Longlns: and wlrMng and stretching mv
arms . .
That enfold Just the lonesome and cold.
rrsy doom. f
But the kettle sings on" with its "Puff
puff, puff."
And the est on the hearth hums. "Purr.
IKirr, purr:"
Put the only tohe that mv red heart
heers
Thru the-soft duet is Just "Her. her.
her!"
Sitting and smoking Oh, rove, could you
come
To this, lonely, old room-make my
flrcams come true,
I fear I'd not strive for the heaven
above
'Twould be here, with thq cat, and the
kettle and you!
But the kettle Kings on with IU "l'lif f,
puff, puff."
' And the cat on the hearth hums. '.'Purr,
purr, purr." '
But the only tone that my sad' heart
hears .
Thru the soft' duet is Just . "Her, her,
her!" 1
Lincoln. HELEN CARRAHER.
y 1 . ,
Alum In Bread
Mrs. C. C. H. writes: Are
alum baking powders harm-
ful to one having indigestiorv? 1
Where can 1 get baking pow
der that contains no alum?
. BBTIT . .'".''
- 1. Thompson ssys that alum In bread
in Urge quantities (from baking powder)
Is astringent and injurious to the di
1 gcstlon.
9. Ask your grocer for baking powder : .'.
i that contains bo alum. There are several
' standard brands of alum-free, baking '
powder. , -
- . . tJYmh "J7e fe Kmp Well" Cohtmm, JSy Dr.
W.J,Ettm,mCkKfoTrilmme,Fb.Jt,llo.
; A :r.::v.
( Royal,. Baking Powder con-
tains no alum or any. in- ,
gredientr that is hot pure
and v vholesomo beyond ques-r : V
tione It is made from cream.
of tartar which comes from
grapes ,
ROYAL BAKING POWDER CO. '
. w ' - ,' New York
i ' ,
Various Form!
Of Headache
"It is necessary la order to treat bead
eehes properly to understand the causes
which r. reduce the aOacUoa' says Br. J. W.
Bay of Bioehtoa. Ala. Continuing, he eaysi
"Phyaielana eannol even beglnthe trea
mea of a disease without knowing what
eaasee give rise to It, and we mutt remem
ber mat bead soke Is to be treated aocordina
to the same rule. We must not only be par
ticular to give a remedy intended to couo
toraot the cause wUloh produce th head
ache, but we muit also give a remedy to
relieve the pain until the eause of the trouble
has beea removed. To answer this nurposs
AoU-aamnla Tablets will be found a rnnal
convenient aad satisfactory remedy. One
tablet every one to three hours lvee comfort
and restlataeuiostsevereeesesof beaxteoh
neural ft a and particularly the hrriianh
of women."
When w have e patient subject to regular
attack of sick headache, we should caution
hlra to keep hla bowels regular, for which
nothing Is better than "otolds', and when
be leeia the least sign of an oncomloa
attack, be should take two A-K Tab leu!
Buoh patients should always be Instructed
to carry a lew Anu-kamola Tablet, ao as to
have them reedy tor Instant nss. Tbss
ablete are prompt to eeUon. and ean be
aepeaded cm to produce relief in a vary
law minute. Ask for A-K Tablet. '
Anti-kamnla Tablets eaa be obtained etail
druggist. .
Hotel Leimox
Up to th3 minute
service f or you
Demand Your Favorite Beer
LUXURY
CONOMV
FJir
BOYLSTON a mo EXETER STREETS
BOSTON
2n?,ibI?k frorn Copley Sq. and
Public Library. Convenient to
Shopping and Theatre District.
AH Outaide Roomg. Excellent
Cuiaine.
Single Rooms gJ. with Bath eJ.M and en'
Double " 12.30, ' ejja .. f
(Oood Oarage 3 rolnutee' walk)
; I- C PRIOR, nfAMAOan
Two minutes from Back Bay Station
Tea miaates from North Statical
Wfien you visit tfes
Panama Exposition
SAN FRANCISCO
It Is now on sale by tn leIni
. Hotels and Cafes
aVJteSceMe Brewtes Ce-XaCreae.SMawUXV
URCH eV VAN 6AN0T
It W-f'
ma. ins at, fimsna. tiitu.
enckMe - a-te, - w'
?I1MlWA
$00
INE
t-,