Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (May 2, 1915)
fU-B THE OMAJIA SUNDAY HEF: MAY 2, 1915. THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEE FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER. VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR. The He Publishing Company, Proprietor. TiF.E BUILDING. FARXAM AND BKVENTEENTH. Entered at Omaha postofflc second-clsss matter. terms or SUBSCRIPTION. Hr carrier per month. ....,...... .6fo.., ,.' 4M.... , !.... .aoo. Py mall per yar. M "0 4 00 .c 4 "0 t.oo Ial1y and Fundsy .. Dully without Pundsy....'. Kvenlng and Sunday Kvenlng without Sunday... Rnnriav Tfe onlv Fend notice of rhanse of Sddrens or complaints of Irrrmlarity In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation Department. n KM ITTA NCR. ' Remit bv draft, express or postal order. Only two rent postare stamps received In payment of small ac count Personal rneckn, except on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. OFFICES. Omaha The Pee Bulldlna. flout h Omaha 2118 N street. Council Muffs 14 North Main (treat Lincoln Little Building. Chlcseo-Srtl Hearst Bunding. New York Room 11. s Fifth avenue. Ft. IOtila WB New Peak of Commerce. Wsshtnitton 73 Fourteenth Be, N. W. CORRFfPONOFNCB. Address communlcatlona retstlng to newa and edi torial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department, AI'KIL fetXDAV CIKCVLATIOX, 47,089 Btate of Nebraska. Countv of rvmfflee, eat , Dwlitbt V. llilsms. circulation manairer, ssys that the. average Sunday circulation for the month of April. IV waa 47 i. I.WI.niT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence and iworn to before tne. till 1st day of May, 191ft. KOBEfRT HUNTETt, Notary Public Subscribers Wring; the city tiftporarlly honld have The lice mallexl to them. Ad dress be changed aa often a requested. Mar ' Thought for tha Day SmUtfd by Lida Brainmrd "Far aioay thtr U tM iuhin4 art my higheM atpiration. I cannot rtath thtm but 1 look tip and ses Vuir beauty, bUw in (htm and try to foil ert tKty had." Lmiita M. Alcctt. Almost time to build that Platte river power canal again. The straw hat makes Its bow for a ma of four months. Let well enough alone except, where you can do better. It is Just as easy, and often easier, to arbi trate at th start than at the finish. The safe playv Get those eleotrlo light rates reduced first, and buy the lawsuit afterwards. Unless peace comes sooa It will take a whole lot of fire-foot bookshelves to bold the war book a After' tills campaign closes folks will again get "free air" only In front of the auto estab lishments. - To globe trotters; Bee America first and Omaha on the way. Therein lies safety, plua the comforts of home. If political orphanage were an asfeet be sura the others would have tied to hlta or bare be come orphans themselves. war The Lord Kitchener formally stated the would not begin In earnest until May 1. day mnd the hour have struck. From, the way the feathers are flying, a man np a tree, would imagine tbey were eloctlng ring neck pheasants down at Lincoln. Hummel and KuKel- Jardine and ZImman two "ins" and two "outs," to be voted for by all who want a trod city government The actor Is mighty rare who- can give a sev entieth birthday performance to a full house after cavorting around the stage for over fifty (Tears. One thing to remember ia connection with this building trades dispute: It no work is done, there will be no wages for the laborers and no profits for the contractors. No partisan politics In yils campaign. ' Of course, not. But note that the democratic or gan picks all the democrats In the city hall for re-election, and wants to turn out all the repub licans. ,' ' The wage arbitration award for the railway engine men Is to hold for only a year. No time limit is set, however, on the rate Increases whlc.i the railroads have been getting from the Com meice commission. Award in the- Railroad Wage Case. The long hearing before an arbitration board of the case of the enginemen on the western railroads for an increase in pay has come to an end. with an award that Is n6t altogether satis factory to either side. This very fact may even tually justify the conclusions of the board. While the award Is In no sense a victory for either side, it Is sn attempt to dispose of some of the points at Issue. The men get some sub stantial increases in pay and are relieved la cer tain ways from the operation of rules against which they made complaint For the railroads, a number of changes asked by the men were denied by the board. Points In controversy are not fully disposed of, as is shown by the assurance of the arbitra tors for both the men and the companies giving notice that tha determination of the main issue has but ben postponed. This declaration may be discounted, but the concern of the public is In seeing justice done. This case is so Involved with technical points thst it is not easy for out siders to understand all the contentions. It is cany, however, to believe that neither aide asked for less than it expected to be given. The award is binding only for one year, which suggests that the controversy will be shortly brought forward again. The outcome of the matter so far la a justification for tha Kewlands law, at least la serving to prevent a strike and the consequent interruption of business. "Peace, but Thera is No Peace." The closing scenes of the women's peace conference at The Hague shows yery plainly thst a deep sentiment of resentment still is lodged In the bressts of those whose countries sre at war. These women are not yet ready to Join In a demand for "peace at any price." They want peace, but they want Justice first and for this they will contend. Might Is not right, nor Is personal interest or national pride the best of guides for action, but each Is a potent factor In the determination of conduct. It would have been a surprlalng i spectacle had the Belgian and British representa I lives at the conference given their unprotestlng i assent to the reaolutlons as originally proposed. , The resolutions as finally adopted sound well, but who is going to determine what is "Justice," and, when thst has been settled, bow is It to be maintained against those who refuse to sccept It? The problem of restoring peace in Europe Is not so simple that It can be disposed of by a short conference of women. Matters far beyond the reach of words are involved in the struggle, fundamentals that must be adjusted even for a temporary truce. , Into the crucible of the pres ent war have been cast age-old grudges, racial differences and national Jealousies whose roots go back beyond history. It may be these will fuse In the fierce heat of the conflict and from the fiery purging a new Europe will arise, among whose Inhabitants will be found that concord of thought and action essentially necessary for the full good of man. Some very able men, deep la thought and wise In conclusion, hold that this desirable result will be attained. Whatever we may hope for as the outcome of the war, and its ultimate Influence on the destiny of mankind, the conference Just con cluded at The Hague has only proved that ladles as well as gentlemen "may cry peace, but there la no peace." ; Two Men Who Have Made Good. Having already commended "two good men" nominated at the primary to tha favor of those who believe there is room for Improvement in the city ball, Tba Bee takes It upon Itself now to commend alsoj'two men who have made good" to the favor of those who .believe conscientious and efficient service should be rewarded with re-election. These two of the present commis sioners are Joseph B. Hummel and A. C. Kugel. ' We believe the work of no department of the city has evoked as general praise and elicited so little public complaint aa the development and Improvement of our system of parks and boule vards tinder direction of Commissioner Hummel. He has something-tangible to show for his ef forts without any spectacular gallery play or special appest for sensational publicity. Commissioner Kugel's service has been di vided between two departments, first that of street cleaning, and later that of the police. Of his achievement as street commissioner there are no two opinions. He organised the work and put It on an efficiency basis such as we had never had. His administration of the police department has been more trying It is a posi tion where it is naturally Impossible to satisfy veryone but no one can truthfully gainsay that police conditions have not improved or that the suppression of crime and vice ia not better In hand than before. ... H competency, industry and dependability in public affairs are to count the voters will re elect Hummel and Kugel. Dean of American Acton. It is indeed a special distinction for an Omaha audience to have been allowed to play the host to the seventieth anniversary birthday party for William H. Crane, the dean of Amer ican actors, and to join with his stsge associates In paying tribute to the man. Hale and hearty, full of life and vigor,' with a cheerful outlook on the world, and the clear Vision of unimpaired faculties, his years sit lightly on Mr. Crane, and he goes about his dally work with a sest that would be notable in a per son of half his age. His fifty-two annual seasons on the staga have been full of remarka ble experiences, and ia retrospect present a won derful panorama. His active lit extends over the years that have seen the theater in America advance from its state of acknowledged crudity to a very respectable position in the world of art It Is a genuine testimonial to his Intelligence and inspiration that he has advanced with this growth, keeptng his own ideals and holding his place as a leader, while the taste of the publie was developed and strengthened on matters that pertain to art. Contemporaneous with actors whose memories are fondly revered, be easily made the transition from the "old" to the "new" school of acting, with distinct advantage to him self as an exponent of the most difficult ss well as the most evanescent of all the arts, that of the actor. . Mr. Crane has not only kept pace with the progress of his profession, but with that of the world in general, his life being full and well rounded, because of the catholicity of his Inter est in the affairs of mankind. His private life Is as much of an inspiration .as is his publlo career, and the tribute given him by Miss Bingham, in her delicate allusion to this quality of the man, is well deserved. Let us wish with her that Mr. Crane be spared to cel ebrate his full four-score years and) ten, and he may be assured that Omaha will give him as cor dial welcome then as it did on Friday night, when he bad Just reached three-score and ten. Agriculture in the South. . The planters of tha south are to become farmers, and King Cotton la to share his throne with King corn, and other representatives of the royal line of the agricultural realm. The presi dent of the Cotton congress, speaking to the Southern Commercial congress, save thanks that the war has taught the south the value of the diversification of crops, This knowledge has been in possession of the southern planter for generations, but the wisdom of applying it is just dawning." The war has merely served to ernpha aise the point so that it will be more fully appre ciated. Other sections of the country had to learn the lesson long ago, and prosperity has followed where it has been put into practice. , No reason exists for the south- to abandon cotton as its leading crop, nor will the usee for this staple be materially lessened by reason of the war. but the southern farmer will be bene fited if he learns from his northern brother the lesson of diversity, which Is generally taught by adversity. ' ' , OurYvdL Y3jVA3VJ-aA7 y ytcto aotrwAvsa MT CONORATCLATION8 to the Cnlted States National bank on occupancy of Its beau tiful new home, which- la at once a mon ument to that Institution and lta officers and an ornament to the city. I have been throush banking house in which oLher communities take pride, some of them larirer, many of them mose ornate, but none of them more Impressive, Imposing or mors conveni ently arranged and equipped to aocommodate patrons and to transact business. When a city reaches the point where a bank Is forced by Its enlarging busi ness, as was the United Plates, to teir down as sub stantial a structure aa was Its old home In order to replace It with a more modern building, that city haa Indeed come to Itanlf. The new establishment of the United States National bank, with the new building of the First National already In prospect across the street and the Omaha National already at Seventeenth, nails down" the financial center for many years to come within a radius of a block from the Sixteenth and Farnam comer. Omaha la a little over alxty years old. and Its first banking center was at Twelfth and Farnam. Thirty years moved it west only one block, and when the Commercial National, atnoe ab sorbed Into the United States National, went to Six teenth, the present location of the latter, the venture waa generally regarded as an extra hasardous pre-! ceedlng. Strang how hard It -Is for people te see any distance Into the future, Leslie M. Shaw, who "stopped erf" In Omaha a couple of days last weak, and talked to the CTelgh ton university graduates and to the Commercial club, has a wonderful fund of personal experience te draw on, and an unmatched store of good stories to relate. HeSia a permeating humor which always makea Its point, although usually slightly veiled so that be pauses and aaka, "Do you get that?" He Is one (if the old-4ashloned statesmen, who psrsists in bellev lnjf that some of our new-fangled schemes are no better than those they have supplanted, more particu larly the various device of "pure democracy," such as direct primaries, initiative and referendum, and the recall of judicial decisions. "His brains and capacity," he declares, "that we need tor the management of public business, and I don't see that we get any better quality nowadays than ws used to." As another of his aphorisms, h asserts, 'The men who are elected to office, I feel safe In saying, will compare favorably with those, who run for office against them and are defeated." . Incidentally the Information was vouchsafed that it cost Ieslle M. Shaw Just 1250 to secure his first nomi nation for governor of Iowa, a nomination which no one could hope to obtain by direct primary now without spending many times that amount The subtle character of the Shaw humor msy be gathered from the following story, told by way of exouse for calling for cream for his after-dinner coffee: "I know It Is the height of Impropriety to put milk or cream In a small cup of coffee, but I do It Just the same. I was the guest once at a dinner In Wsshlngton presided over by a-lady of high social pretentions, to whom 1 apologised for asking for cream as a remnant of my country-bred manners, and she said: , "Oh. yes,' w always have trousle teaching a new servant not to pass the cream with th coffee, when ws have company.' "Do you get thatr One of our enterprising dental firms has been ad dressing letters to some kind of a mailing list ft local personages, whose opinions are supposed to be worth having, 'asking the quest loot "Should a dentist advertise?" and eolloting a response as a helpful guid ance in determining his future course. My reply to tha Inquiry was aa follows: "Answering your letter. It goes without saying that a newspaper man would insist that a dsntlst, or any one else, who wants to do business with the publlo should advertise. - ' "Th question, however. 1 not exaotly that, be cause every dentist advertise, or some one else ad vertises for htm advertising in Its broad sense being merely the conveying to possible patrons of Informa tion that th dentist Is qualified to practice his pro fession, his success, his 'location,, his office hours but whether he should advertise inthe publlo prints. "Taking this last question, th answer depends wholly on whether th advertising produces the do sired results ss a msthod oJbuslneas-getting. Th ethical question ss to whether It Is "professional' for a dentist to advertise strikes m as a remnant of the dark ages without rhyme or reason. Why should not a professional man let the publlo know that he Is ready to serve thm, and In what way h can serve them', th same as doe the merchant or the manu facturer?" I claim no originality for thes thoughts, and It Is a safe guess thst If Dr. Bailey haa received replies front other newspaper men, they all run substantially along the same lines. . . ... Th resort to th movie and lantern slides for boosting th candidates In our local campaign, while comparatively new here, has been tried In other places, where the possibilities have been farther developed. Though too late to make use of th suggestion Is Omaha for th present, it Is interesting to not that In th city campaHsn In Baltimore the movies were used by the administration forces to show In picture the work they were doing In th various munlclpsl departments, and the pcogrea they had mad In, the physical Improvement of the city. This last was ac complished by lantern slide views portraying photo graphically th condition of a street, or corner f a park, or pavement, when the Incumbent officers took charge, and again after the work of Improvement had been completed the old "before-and-after-taklng" Idea. I throw thts tip out now for anyone to appro priate for th future fr of charge. Twice Told Tales She Was Flabbergastea. Dr. Charles It. Parkhurst In his witty war on cosmetics, said in a recent lecture In New Tork: "A girl and a man sat under a palm in a rose garden on a Soft March evening at St. Augustln. ' " 'Is your lov truer the girt asked, softly. 'As true,' the man answered in low, passlonat tones, 'as the delicate flush on your cheeks.' " Oh er-eh. the girl sUmmeret hurriedly, 'Isn't the er-don't th roses smell sweet?," Philadelphia Usdger. Jl 1. 'uutfJettlS if The Piatt Deutscher Vereln gave a May festival t Oertnanla hall, largely attended, and with a num ber of guests present from Council Bluffa. Th af fair waa under th direction of th president. J. P. LAjnd. and anion gthe distinguished visitor waa J. H. Jaspar, the national president of the Vereln. '""The monthly weather report for April shows a range of temperature between TT maximum degrees and a minimum, and that there were frosts oa three different day, th last on being as let as th SKh. E. Ia, Eton and wife hav returnad from a six weeks' trip to th south. Morris Oreenburg of th Misfit Clothing parlors, went to Kansas City. Mia Ada Denban, a charming young lady from Clyde. O., Is th guest of Mra A. D. Davenport. Mr. E. P. Brewster of Grand Island, who haa been visiting Louis IJtUefield, returned to hi home. Cherries hav mad their appearano In the Omaha market, but they are asking1 U cents a quart for them. A new superintendent of the Omaha Oa works la Thomas 1 Williams, who comes from Newark, N. 3. SECULAH SHOTAT TTJUll. Washington Post: Since Prof. Coburn has substantiated the biblical stories. It behooves the other side to get busy and dig up some snclent agnostic petyrt. Minneapolis Jo'irnal: Ilev. Billy Sun day, the Unitarians and the anarchists are all going It at Peterson. Free speech Is a great safety valve. Some mothers keep the baby quiet by allowing it to pound on a tin pan with a poker. Springfield Republican: A Methodist high church, or rather high church build ing. Is proposed by Rev. F. B. Upham to be erected next year on the site of "Old John, ftreet church'' In New Tork In celebration of the 160th anniversary of Methodism In the United States. An ar tistic sketch has already been drawn by the architects showing a thirty-story office building of Oothlo style. Cincinnati Enquirer, "it la humiliating tb m to confess that 200 ministers in Orester Cincinnati must stand with hands down and wait for 'Hilly Sunday to com along and persuade God to take a hand In saving tho city. Take K.wv) .end spend it In your dally papera In three weeks of advertising, and you will hav a greater revival than 'Billy Sun day ver knew." TM was th point of tb address of tho Rev. T. W. Barker of the Old Taylor Street Methodist epis copal church of Newport, Ky., before th Methodist Ministers' association at Wiley chapeL Indianapolis Star: Th Rev. Julius Pfeiffer. who has charge of the Patricks burn circuit In the Northwest - Indiana Methodist Fjplscopal conference. Is mak ing good. Pfeiffer la using a brush and liberal quantities of paint. He haa adver tised himself all over the, circuit On of hla familiar phrases Is: "I am on the Job to atay; must so the thing through. If you want that soft, taffy kind of preacnlng, I am not the man to give It to you. As long aa I am her t am going to talk about a big God who has a broad, humanitarian platform, and who really makes folks do something." ' 1 ABOUHD THE CITJE3. New Tork authorities last year restored Ltll lost children to parents. Kansas City's police department dumped Into the Missouri river fl.000 worth of cocaine dope. Spring school enrollment In Wichita totals 9.61 pupils, of whom 1,478 are en rolled In th high school. Fort Worth, Tex., la building a mu nicipal reservoir to cover 8,500 acres of land and hold 40,000.000,000 gallons of water. Emporia, Kan., talks of 'declaring dandelions a public nuslanc and penalis ing horn owners who maintain the yel low peril. Warren, 111., a town of 1,600 people, has a woman mayor who walks to and from her office and disdains . a municipal limousine. Memphis Is about to tackle sandbar In th river, and regard th much more dlfficalt and expensive than banishing saloon bars. Jltnej owners In Des Moines offer a new on In protective bonds. They agree to pay 8100 each a year Into a fund from which liability damages shall be paid. Denver's first native born white man, Thomas M. Skerritt, la dead at the age of 86. He was a veterinary surgeon by profession, a baohelor, and lived all hi years on the ranch where he waa born. Phthvlelphlans are moving for a CS-cent gas rate. The city own the plant, which 1 operated under leas. Th leas Is about to expire and th present rat of 81 must com down before a new lease la secured. Des Moines merchants are considering ways and means 'to dispense with the practice of delivering good on approval. They find, for example, that party dresses are worn two or three times and then returned; that fin furniture serves for a gala occasion and cornea back, and that full grown cltlsena tryout dress suits at banquets and send them back to th shop without a much as a jitney for the use. The mayor of Xenla, O., prohibited roller skating la the streeta A council man and the secretary 'of the Business Men's club resolved to give the order a practical test. They did so, were ar rested, found there was no Ordinance be hind the mayor and were released at once. Th word spread so rapidly that In less than fifteen minutes the streeta of the plac were packed with skaters bustly proving that theirs was th land of liberty. ' SIGNPOSTS OP PROGRESS. BBaiexw.) Sweden will buy 130,000 tons of wheat as a food reserve. Despite an. Increase la th us of elec tricity, twenty-five factories In th United States are kept busy making in candescent gas mantles. . During the lsat two years United States forest officers have killed nearly 1,000 predatory animals, more than three fourths of whlcb were coyotes. What will be th highest concrete struc ture of th kind In the world Is a rail road viaduct being built In Pennsylvania, Hi feet above a stream and 3,160 feet lor. . More than ts.000,000 that would hav son in steamship fares will-be kept at home this year, and this Is only an In dication of th many millions Americans would spend In FJurop if thr were no war. It Is so much added to our rail roads, steamboats, summer resorts and store. Bolivia should profit Immensely by the British embargo on tin. In that South American mountain republic ar tin mtnsa of a remarkable richness, and rail road connection with th aryrnttr-e re publlo haa recently been completed. Thes aam mines war producing for tune in silver before th first Pilgrim landed In New England. Louis Follet. general manager, an nounced that tha Standard Tin Plat company of Waahlngton, Pa., had com pleted arrangements fur an addition to the company' plant at Canoneburg, near here, which would double th rapacity and give employment to 1,000 additional men. Th extension a 111 mean an In crease In capitalisation from 1500.000 to 1.000,000. It Is hoped to complete th Improvement within six montha Inquiry made by The Philadelphia Public Ledger among- prealdenta of lead ing railroad eompanlea throughout tha United State! shows that many of them ar about to follow th lead of th Pennsylvania railroad, which has an nounced that It will spend M.0OO.000 In new equipment for Its lines, east and west. Return show that, including th Pennsylvania's appropriation, about ISO, OOO.OtO will ba expended for betterment, renewals and new equipments In this year oa purchases already authorised, and that other railroads ar watching (or aa upward tread before committing themselvea People and Events A St. Louis man has a bed of dan delions In his garden with blossoms as big as a allver dollar, but h rives them the hUhbrow name of "Taraxacums," which makes a big difference. Th new president of the Swiss con federation, M. Gtilseppe Motta, will draw the munificent salary of 82.700 a year, a fraction less thsn S5 per cent of the salary of the mayor of Omaha. The anti-dope law has had the effect of crowding the asylums of Massachusetts and filling a waiting list. In most In stancea Inability to secure the drug de veloped what the doctors call "deferred mental dleeasea" Tha motor clubs of t Joseph, Mo., have nailed these signs to highway posts: "Safety First. Good Roads. Read the Road Signs. San Motoring." Good stuff. If heeded. Unfortunately those mho speed don't read, and require the application of a stout club. Seumss McManua, the soothering story teller of Donegal, says the Iriph language contains 3fi5 terms of endearment for sugaring sweethesrts. To become pro ficient In handling the terms It Is neces sary to make three pilgrimages to tha Blarney stone and five to the vales of Donegal, making sure tox dodge Bally hooly on th way. The Order of Sparta, a beneficiary o clety operating In and around Philadel phia, presents a patmMIn trsgedy In localised assessment Insurance. It was organised In WTO and now haa 1.100 mem bers. To make up deficit and losses the monthly asiwasment has been raised to 813.38, which older members regard as prohibitive. Th worst feature of the management ,1s the disappearance of a permanent fund Intended to protect the Insurance of members who pafd a higher monthly rata to secure a full-paid policy at the end of twenty-five years. These members have asked th courts to Insti tute a search for the money. CYNICAL MUSESGS. Tb widow's mlaht may he the result of long experience. Occasionally a woman plsys a practical lolon a man b marrvlrg him. When It comes to draalng conclusions, all women are natural born artists. Imssinatlon Is the subs that sweeteni life and wisdom the salt thst preserves it Perhaps the best hand a man can hnl4 In the yarn of life Is the hand of korrx good woman. j If you want sny thing done well, do It yourself. That Is why most people iaug.r. at their own Jokea. It requires long years of practice H enable a man to fall In love and light on his feet It Is no pleasure for a man to do at he, ploases until after he gets married end then he can't A man argues with a woman not be cause It does any particular good, but because of the pleasure It affords her. Probably the worst thing about rich relations Is the way they look down on you because you are not rich enough to look down on them. Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. TABLOIDS OF SCIENCE. Artificial wood for matches Is being made from straw by aa Inventive Frenchman. A Seattle Inventor's Ufa preserver re sembles a diving suit In that It completely envelopes a wearer and lsl waterproof. United States naval officers have de veloped a colored glass that render vis ible the fumes from smokeless powder. Sugar exists not only In the cane, th beet-root and maple, but also tn the sap of about 190 other plants and trees. Dr. Pearl, poultry authority of Main, aays that a hen's eg Is similar to the human skull with regard to variations In slse and shape, x The rarest plant in the world la the sllversword, a species of cactus which stows only on the most inaccesible slopes of Hawaiian volcanoes. A A telescope with two parallel barrels, to permit two person to see th same object at the same time, haa been In vented by a Swiss optician. To guard, against tree repair fakers, or quick tree surgeons, the Massachusetts IForestry association will s Inspect th shade trees belonging to Its members free of chars. Powdered borax sprinkled around ma nure pile at the rate of a teacupful to four bushel of manure will keep files' egg from hatching. For best results apply th borax with a flour sifter and then sprinkle liberally with .water. - . DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. "How did you stand your trip abroad? "Oh, so-so! Gained five pounds oa the way to Naples, two pounds en roart to Holland, broke even In Paris, and dropped In London." "Plow up a bit, my dear." said Mr. O'Beese to his slender young wife, who waa walking too rapidly for him. "Re member the proverb: "The more waist, the less speed.' "Boston Transoript. Mother (to son who ha overslept) You need a self-starter to get you up In the morning. Son (sotto voice) Not when I have a crank like you to get m going. Judge. "You and your wife are always Jawing when you ar out." "Yep." "But you become verf loving when you draw near home. I suppose that is for the benefit of us neighbors." "Yep. No scrapping allowed within, a three-block limit." Louisville Courier Journal. "You Insist on having everything you use made In America?" "Yes," answered th Intensely patriotic citizen; "even most of my war news." Washington Star. Mr. Gotham If you don't hurry up, dear, we'll be late for the theater. Mrs. Gotham Why, you're not going to drive the automobile down yourself, are you? Yonkers Statesman. "BE MEN." St. Louis Globe-Democrat, Did you tackle the trouble that cam your way. With a resolute heart and cheertul. Or hide your face from the light of day With a oraven aoul and fearful. Oh. trouble, a ten of trouble's an ounce, Or a trouble is what you make It. And It Isn't th fact of your hurt that counts, i But only how did you tak It? You are beaten to earth. Well, well, what that; Come up with a smiling face. It's nothing against you to fall down flat. S But to lie there, that'a the dlagraoe. The harder you're thrown, th higher you'll bounce. Be proud of your blackened eye, - It Isn't the fact you're licked that counts. It's how did you fight, and why? And tho' you be dona to death. What then. ' .a If you battled your part In the world of men IWhy, the crltlo will call that good. Death conies with a crawl, or comes with a oounce, But whether he's slow or spry. It Isn't th fact you'r dead that counts, But only, how did you die? A Mason & Hamlin Piano Is the "Par Excellence" of Music in the Home Beautiful Both Grand and Upright Trio $560 and up. We sell the last word in Player Pianos. The Apollo: price 87BO and up. W have the Kimball Player Piano 850 and up. The Hospe Playerv at 8(00 and up. The Hlnze Player, 8450 and up. Also the Boudoir Player 8298. Terms 825 and 110 per month. A. HOSPE CO.. 1513 Douglas St. A POSTAL CARD TO THE Discriminating PUBLIC Hotel Gr is wold DETROIT Toe most modern and homelike hostelry Ia Detroit. Located In the center of the shop ping district and within short walking distance of all the theaters. Come where YOU will be properly tsken care of at Reasonable Rates $1.50 and up. European. Finest Musical program, tn the city; dancing every evening. YOU will have MY personal attention.