4 It TUB OMAItA SUNDAY UKE: MARCH IW, 1915. THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEE FOUNDED BY KDVARD ROSKWATKR. VICTOR ROBEWATER, EDITOR. The Bee Publishing Company. Proprietor. BE.E BUILDING. FARNAM AND PEVENtSeNTH? Entered at Omaha postofflr aa second-class matter. TERMS 0 eUBSCRIPTTON. Hy carrier Fy mall par month. per year. Pally an "nnday sso W w I!Ir without fundey....' 4S 4 00 Fvenlng and Sunday c SOS F.venmg without Sunday tft... 4 "O 8'inrtsy onr fc S.M S.tk1 not Ire of change of addrea or complaint ot Irregularity In delivery to Omaha Baa, Circulation Department. , REMITTANCES. ' . Remit br draft. evprea or portal order. Only two rent postage stamp received In payment of amall ac count PeraonaJ checks, exespt on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. OFFICES. Omaha Tha Bee Building, outh Omaha 3311 N (treet. Council Bluff -l4 North Main street Lincoln M Little Building. Chloa(f W1 Hearst Building. New York Room lie. Fifth avenue Ft. Ixiil-W New Bank of Commerce. Washington 726 Fourteenth 1L. N. W. CORBESPONDENCB. Addreaa communications relating to newa and edi torial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. PEHJtl'.lltY HLMMV CIKCIXATIOV, 45,366 State of Nebraska, County of Ttouglas, rwlghl Williams, circulation manager, aaya that tlie average Hunday rlrrulatlon for the montli f February, 115. wan 46.S. tWIOIIT WILMAMH, flrculRtlon Manager. Piiliscrthrd In my presence and iworti to before Inc. thla il day of Marrh, 118. , ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public. Hnbacrlbcra leaving the city temporarily should have) The lire mailed to thein. Ad drrsa will be changed aa often aa requested. if1 Xarck n Thought for the Day Stlmclmd by Mmry Moor Jfh sotcs a iUld, or traint a flovtr, or plants a trtt, it mort flan aM. WhiUier. "Old Man Winter" seed not linger longer. And one reverend political sky pilot In the list When you write to tbem, tell them to "8top off ia Omaha." Tb,e first plank la the socialist platform a borne rule charter has our endorsement The beat atart to make Omaha beautiful Is for everyone living In Omaha to start to beautify his own place. (It must be almost an even bet which Is the biggest risk going down with a subsea or going up 4a an airship. ' A few personal Injury verdicts like that) ought to make Omaha the favorite Jurisdiction in which to bring damage suits. Carrying salvation to the heathen la the Ot toman empire is as perilous to lite as preaching the gospel in Mexico. By last report America's cash contributions to the relief of Belgium total $e, 200,00. . Our reputation for lavish generosity naturally makes "passing the hat" one of t&e great Industries of the year. , It. is well enough to be reminded occasionally that "the public school is the mainstay of the republic." But don't forget, either, that "the American, home Is the safeguard of American liberties." . r 1 ' la pressing for higher tariffs on household iiecessitles railroad managers throw discretion to the winds. It is dlfflculi to see how an era of good will can be advanced by direct attacks on Individual purses, such as advanced coal rates implies. How do the business men of Omaha like the way certain newspapers that pretend to stand up for Omaha are throwing brickbats at the Greater Omaha movement? Are the folks who put ob stacles in the path of Omaha's progress to get away with It? . . . 1 j . Immolation of Immortal. ' v Our state senators have reluctantly agreed to fix April 8 as the date of final adjournment Of the legislature. The agreement is a distinct concession to the urgent demands of the larger body. In one respect it is a sacrifice on the pert of the senators, and explains why they hesitated to consider the subject at all. The sacrifice which the senators make in agreeing to go home for good cannot be appre ciated in the full without a close inspection of the senate chsmber. Art finds in It a fitting abode. The decorative scheme is a succession of inspiring thrills so Impressive, la fact, that a first-time visitor to the chamber runs the risk of speechless wonderment Here and there the glow of moreing colors radiates from a master ful brush. Ancient history peeps through the dim vistas of Egypt's pyramids, and modern en terprise fiada aipreaaioa la aa allegorical brtdg over an allegorical creek- The spetl ot romance sends Its tendrils from the battlements of a raatla hsjf tailed In the tender light of the moon. Beyond aa angry sea rocks a boat of dealga like uato that on which Noah achieved his reputation aa the greateat navigator of his day. A strlkikg note of the artlat Is sounded l the golden foliate of the trees, aad their inclination to the south delicately points the direction ,! yreveJllng winds. Lakes and ialsade abound, tsrdure blome perennially, and the luscious greea of alfalfa fields beckons the he bead maa te r-alttrd wealth. Ia suih Inspiring surrouadiegs the eeaatort k li'ed aad labor for I moat three months. Ikey hate breathed the spirit or art aad w saved It late word aad deed. Tie have Imbibed a ictie for the beautiful through aa atmoethere of at wJ.iT h eaits tie senate chamber and reeks It la a tla If iteeir. Tie eueeariag of Ike jUs 1 JsSd aa ltatery sacrifhe, la -':! to tr tsataerltee from llstes Of delta! a J t i ?l w. -fft ia aeeatore nacife.t iti ii-'tr farioUsi ,. art latnila aad t :--r-.f;ee "Unlucky"' Submarines. From Honolulu comes another thrilling chap ter in the story 'of the submarine, embellished vlth a statement that this particular vpel was 'unlucky." Danger Is always present in this type of flshting craft, which marks in Itself man's defiance of, certain natural limitations .to his sphere of activity. How much of this dec f?er Is due to man himself will never be deter mined. Some of It must ever be charged to the determination of those on bosrd to "make a record." Rlvslry between crews in the navy, extending to both officers and men, Is intense, and always they are milling "to take a chance," even though It may lead to something that wll! Mirpass the limit of ssfety. t'nder water navigation is still in the develop ment stage, and the officers and crews of the submsrines are picked men, r.honeu for their skill and resource In face of danger. While they are trained to the utmost in the require ments of their calling, the human factor stl'l controls, and the ambition to achieve still lures man to death, both above and below the water. Yet these men do not venture their lives In vain. Death has ever been the portion of In trepid adventurers In tropic Jungles and in are tic wastes; In the laboratory and In the open field. The lessons that man has learned, th) secrets he has wrung from nature, have been paid for by lives of the daring. And these deaths that point the road to progress serve only to en courage others to follow, it Is the subllmstlou of life to die that others may have advantage. The submarine may be "unlucky," but those hardy sailors who venture in It below the sur face are serving humanity by finding out rules for the guidance of subsea navigators. Freedom Academic and Otherwise. That there are two sides to the question of academic freedom, defined more in detail as "liberty of thought, freedom of speech and se curity of tenure for teachers," la plainly to be seen from the preliminary report of the Joint committee to look. Into this subject appointed by the American Economic association, the Amer ican Sociological society and the American Po litical Science association, the report being made some time ago, but only now available in printed .form. The right of the college proressor to disclose the results of his study and research, no matter how at variance with previously accepted doc trine, no one deniea any more than bis right to attend his own church or to affiliate with his own political party. Where academic freedom has been invoked by college professors who have gotten into trouble by too loose talking has usu ally been where they have expressed opinions regarded aa subversive of true morals, sound politics or the real basic interests of the institu tions furnishing their bread and butter, The committee report Intimates that in most In stances the difficulty has arisen less from the opinions expressed than from the Questionable propriety of the method of expressing them. One suggestion, however, invites decided ex ception that a distinction should be made be tween' opinions disseminated in the class room or lecture hall and those blazoned on the out- aide. 1 "Discussions in the class room." aava the. report, "are not supposed to be formal utter ances for the public at large. They are often designed to provoke opposition or to arouse de bate. . There should be no room for sensational newspaper Quotations from such remarks. In foreign countries it Is a misdemeanor to publish or otherwise to quote a university lecturer with out his consent. Ought not such a practice to be observed In thla country?" ' This query proposes the' amailng contradic tion that to safeguard academic freedom we should infringe on the freedom of the press. It goes without saying that what is told students In the class room cannot be kept from circulating outBlde of the class, room, and it a professor makes sensational or idiotic remarks to his stu dents, how can be be assured of protection, whether they find their way Into the newspapers or not? If Instruction in the class room Is to be Invested with an Impenetrable veil of secrecy, Incalculable harm may be dona without any op portunity to offset it. With due respect to the distinguished mem bers of the committee on academlo freedom, from whose report we have quoted. The Bee Ten tares to champion the view that the safety valve of publicity is as Important for the class room aa for the rostrum, and that the freedom ot the presa in lta broadest scope Is as vital to individ ual liberty aa is academlo freedom. The Massacre at Gnlpgihan. The deplorable affair reported from northern Persia, where a massacre of Christiana by aavagt Kurds took place, is an incident of the war made doubly interesting in the United Statea by reason of the tact that several naturalised American eitUena were slain, or maltreated. The exposed situation of the mission at Oulpaahaa puts It al most out of the reach of protection from any civilised power except Turkey, and that country la at war with most ot the great powers of the world. The Kurds, nominally Under Turkish control, are the Apachea of western Asia, and held to little discipline. The French and Russian subjects involved la the massacre are enemy aliens, and aa such will be considered by the Turkish government, it Is quite likely that the attacking tribe did not un dertake to discriminate between the ritlsenshlp of the Christiana being slain, nor la it probable any distinguishing mark would have afforded aafety. The niceties of civilised warfare have beea frequently Ignored by the polished nations of Iste. and It Is too murk to export that savages such as the Kurds will be over fartlcular In the tract ice of slaughter aad ratlae. The perpletlty of our goernmeat la dealing lib the war will be Intreaaed by this new roa pllcetioa. la time the felted atalee lil proba bly receite from Turkey aa apolu.y, similar ta and about as comfortitg aa teoe e hate te ivatly had from Mviirsa marauders. KecsrdUae ef the graft. I snak the sheriff effe worth freaa llJ.eee t :e.e . sneeas U Isject the tart roeraptiag Isflaeac iaU the roart .ease, aad te set tkal office ap aa the rasttal prlte la a B!iMral lottery. Rewtcr tag tfee graft raeas laflatlag tt rorvvptUa tand at ery :rin ef a skerttf y 4 t tie wtfcr Ob.le eitsf !a vita TV4 I We i tup tftla e'r(rv ! 7 YXCTOa BOIlWATia. CHANGE of ownership within a fortnlsht of the two corner of the hlock between Sixteenth ar.d Seventeenth street, facing Famam. for a com bined conelriVratlon nesTes-ntlng- well above a million dollar Is cauntn more talk alut the wonderful srniwth of Omaha than any other elnsrle rovent hap pening. Theen ealea are taken aa forerunners of Im provements that will moke old-tlmera elt up and take notloe, and would IllHt irane of aetontuhment from the early settlers who uned to make their homes In that vicinity If they are still alive. Thla particular square was diagonal from the dwelling where our family waa eatubllahed. long alnne become part of the alt of the Bee building. On tho Heventeenth Btreet corner comprised In tho Joelyn purchase stood a square houae occupied by the B"rley. and Immedi ately eat of that waa the Pweoxy home. I think there were one or two small rented cottage on the lot adjolnuig, while tha Hoard of Trade corner was . i..,M."U vy a lire engine house I believe t was called Engine Ilouee No. 3 though It housed, In ad dition to the No. S Engine aJid Hose company, the No. 1 hook and latdder. Coma to think of It. that was the only hook and ladder apparatus In the city at the time. Tha butlding was well back from Far nam atreet toward the alley, and waa surmounted with a cupola In which the fire bell waa placed, and this bell sounded out all tha alarms, to say nothing of ringing at atated hours to a rve householders as a dinner bell. Tho first tap of tho gong meant that all tha boya Within hearing raced aa fast as they could go to Sixteenth and Farnam to watch the fire horses make a flying start on the way to the conflagration. The, Harney atreet tide of the square was also oc cupied by dwelllngs-the Sixteenth street corner by the M'Ubura, west of thorn the Nashes, and still further west the Rustins. The removal of the Board of Trade building takes away tha oldest structure that haa remained on the block, all tha resldVncea having been either torn down or transplanted to outlying locations. Talking to 1 1 irry Iwrle the other day. he told ma that the Board of Trade building waa ona of the first on whose plans ha worked when he made hi advent to Omaha aa an aaslstant to Mendelsohn. Who waa the architect Ha added tha Information that the original specifications left the top two storifS alternative because of a shortace of funda in sight, and that only by scraping up more money did It la como possible for the bulldera to go on to tho full height. All the friends of Gerrlt Fort here are sorry to have him go away from Omaha, even though the going may be bot another atop In his upward climb of the railway ladder. I told him aa much while congratu lating him on being called to a wider field with larger opportiinltlea for hla special talents. The last tlm, Mr. Fort took his departure from us he went to New York to become assistant to tho president of tho New York Central. Whon he returned he carae back to tha headship of the passenger traffic of the Union Pacific, and now he ia spreading out to tako over the supervision and control of the passenger business of the whole system. Mark my word that Mr. Fort will be climbing again before very long. It is notworthy how many of tha railroad men who have had their training here In Omaha occupy con spicuous positions In tha railway world. An article In tho current issue of the American Maailne entitled "A College Professor With Punch." has a peraonal Interest for me. being, as It Is an ulojietle sketch of Prof.. Richard T. Ely. director of the department of political economy at the Univer sity of Wisconsin, under whom I studied while ho waa a professor at Johns Hopkins university. Tho author calls attention to the faot that Prof. Ely waa at ona time Instructor to Woodrow Wilson In econo snlca, and citea a numerous list of former pupils prominent' In the publio eye. Prof. Ely waa as sociated at Johns Hopkins with Prof. Herbert B, Adams, and when the latter died a memorial volume was taaucd. compiling the bibliography of the literary and research efforta ef all the men who had been enrolled under him, and it constituted a moat Im posing display. That list could be duplicated for Prof. Ely. for practically all of Prof. Adams' atu. dents likewise took courses In economics, and If brought forward by adding the work of those who were pupUs of Prof. Ely since hla transfer to the University of Wisconsin, it would be doubled and trebled, and present an am axing chart of the wide spread Influence that can radiate from ' one en thusiastic . and Inspiring teacher. SECULAR SHOTS AT PULPIT. Twice Told Tales , Ways Break It. His tesoher wss having a hard time explaining tha lesson. , ' Tommy, you can learn this If you 'make' up yeur tnlad. J fa not one bit smart to appear dull. 1 know that you're Juat as bright aa any boy In tha claaa Re member, Tommy, where there's a will there's'' Aw." broke In Tommy, "I knew all dat I do. Me fedder's a lawyer, an' I heard him say it lots a times." ... "Tou should not bava interrupted me, but I am glad that your father haa taught you the old adage Caa you repeat It te enar "Sure, Me fadder says dat where der's a will der's always a bua n o' poor relatlvea "-Pittsburgh Chrou-tcie-Tsle graph. Tel4 Easily. - A witty political candidate, running in an agricul tural dlatrlct. after making a apeech. announced that he would be glad to answer any questions that might be put to him. A voice came from the audience. "Tou seem te know a lot. sir, about a farmer s difficulties. May I aak a question about a momentous oneT" "Certainly." replied tha candidate, aervouaiy "Ifow can you tell a bad egg?" went on the men -ksaa voice. The candidate watted eutn the laughter died away Then he replied: . I h'u4 DTthhl to tell a bad egg. I think J should break It gently." He won the place. National Monthly. The Otnnrratlc primaries resulted u the rapture ot the delegates te the tlty rooveatton la the InUreet of Jamee K. Ierd for mayor. The county commissioners directed th eon sty . tomey to draw the areeery pep-r te carry out ti e traaMrttoa by wha toe rwmity reJIequUt.ee for fU tha old court hewee grounds on Fames street la the my. te be la turn awaoree te W. A. Iaxta foe simi'er Una at isshleeata aad Farwaaa streets 4 siee beeua. we ho4re4 and rre arp'atieas te se'l llq a fwa.a Sae n4 i tk ,nr ci,,k ,M aJ.eare raysbeat Me ana eUul eeesiy.ne vr etskty. Ttio st!k .e.tre.t Uf , ( 1,4 ,r PVWtc Mvrks I t hsulee II. HelM At a rel MHk ef fe . 4us H , aWrsesS state te ltit!k t WtiM-,a J ,e t TL ci.S sww eent-fe let sa,aere ate. aed Use W it. W ilufM rWt.e.te4 tfte frees, eaMteteerr f ttetr siefruae at la-ir rt, IB! atsMaa nk a seas posy f ftWd taeeae Ie I lM .H. r. fr.l.ei-4 fn t'. e. . ! nWf ws I 1 g..i4 eS. aaae r ' 'ea , r. - 1 1. 4 eer.- ....... . . wi M -'-. i t4t II l Louisville Courier-Journal: "Divorce !a undermining our best society," says an aisrmed New Tork preacher, who doesn't realise that if best society should cave in and disappear vigorous Americans would hardly miss It. Philadelphia Ledger: Rev. Dr. Lichllter says advertising increased tha attendance of his Ht. IkuIs church from 150 to (TO and the annual collections from M.onn to $13,000. Very good. The call of the day la lo put religion Into business. Why not carry business Into religion? The church should use every means that Is good, and advertising I the live force of the times. Brooklyn Eagle: The message ot Billy Sunday is the message of all evangelism. In homely, often grotesque language, but always earnestly, he demands the merg ing of self in the Divine Will. Thomas a Kem. pls formulated that Idea; sug gested by the words of the Master Him self. It does not belong to Sunday. It doe not belong to Protestantism. Strictly and scientifically speaking It does not belong to Christianity exclusively. It omes closer than any other Idea to be ing tho keynote of all religion. rittsburgh Dispatch: Too large a pro portion of too many congregations fall to give proper thought to how the pastor is to live. There la too general a tendency to trust to Providence to provide for Hla servant, too much thoughtless faith In the ravens feeding Elijah, too ready hark ing back to the hand-to-mouth existence of the Apostles. The question comes to Just this: If the church Is worth any thing to you, if you care anything about worship and ministrations, you ought to be as ready and willing to pay for those privileges snd the support of those Insti tutions as for any other. If the cost of living has hit you hard, think how it must have hit the pastor and his family. The laborer Is worthy ef his hire, snd surely this should be specially true of those who labor in the Lord's v..ievsrd. AJiOUITC THE CITIES. Philadelphia haa 131 families on the mothers' pension roll. The jitney bus made its first appearance In Minneapolis last week. Atlanta la showing the trail out of town to beggars, bootleggers and con men. Kansas City's stock yards company flans to spend 12,500.000 in Improvements this year. Niagara Falls has a new city hall fever, induced by the scattered condition of city departments. Methodist pastors assembled st Topeka, Kan., decided to put the ban on automo bile Joy riding on Sunday. Out In Denver some unknown knockers paid a stone cutter 135 to chisel the names o'. commissioners off the court house tab lets. Politics. As a time-saving and speeding-up de vice the street railway company of Mil waukee wanta permission to stop cars only at alternate street corners. The Hotarlana of Lincoln are putting steam Into the good roads movement In that section snd tagging every pound of pressure with the "Buy Now" label. A society woman in Wichita, Kan., calmly proceeded to entertain guests with luncheon and bridge while the .fire de partment aquelched a fire In the roof of tho home. The function set the house afire. ! New Tork City figures an annual sav ing of 3.000,00e from the new schedule ot telephone rates put ia force by the Pub lic Service commission. Uniform fr-cent call rate obtains throughout the greater city. ACTITrriES OF WOMEN. Observing hygienic rules, at which doctors stand aghast, Mrs. Mary Brand, oldest resident ot Belmont county, cele brated her ninety-ninth birthday an niversary and laughlnly predicted that sho would at least live to be a hundred. Che eats pte before gclng to bed. Mrs. Frank Scott ot Highland. Kan., surpiaed the conductor by presenting one railroad ticket for herself and her thir teen children, who are all under S years of sge. She haa had nineteen children, although married but 10 years, having given birth to triplets five times snd to twins twice. ' Mrs. May Frencb-tAieldon. F. R. Q. 8., which means Fellow ot tha Royal Geo graphic society, says that the war will have a great Influence ever marriages of the future. The 70,Wu girl babies, born In France and Belgium since the war be gan, will have to be brought up to care for themselves. As so many men have been killed there will not be enough to go around, and there will be more un married women In tha future thna ever before. Miss Mary Bheppeheaka, headquartera' secretary of the International Woman's Huff rage Alliance, haa written to correct the Idea that any foreign women are "interned" in England. She aaya that It la rumored that women In the Rhine provinces are shut up In barracks and not allowed to set away, but thla Is not trua of Oreat Britain. . They may not go more than five miles away from the place of residence and all foreign women are registered by the police. Tbey ran move if they wish to. but must give notice to the police. They may leave the country if tbey wish to, but must, ot course, have a permit and a passport. SIGNPOSTS OF FR0GIZSS. ..... , Wisconsin reports three cases of trip lets thla year. Aa auluroobl.e repulr course has been added to the curriculum of an Iowa agri cultural college. By a ! Invention the light ca lha rallnd rrosetng gate rhangee automat Ka'ly as the gale U raised aad lowered. The tonass f Ike Hault me. Marie renal last sar waa TV7U.M4, more tha a three timee greater thaa that ef Hues. A Saa Fraivlece wa4srtaker has built a f'inerei automobile that eerrtee thirty setra persuae. la aUJltlua te a roffta aad aaiate spare f-r ftowera Cmtii truaKrlter. w tue ran a rvre laimseeite of ere aeer Wi eii Well. W at . rerere4 a ihk for ISO fr h a Wei rte e( 5 bushel Te we '.fcW crf, rs'iuiere ! rera. ee four evlMl traaxa Af lis laae bsart a s4 ar us' "Aa IKag " sets Ike fast k (aa "Kt Vk a4 ss-i l rauMi-i will a t stfto -ea ya j I a4 ka aay Ire.tw at a4 ake ge'Meg y err yMr leM rmi -M A tsiiaa fr t sxiv-twe Km fire seeiw ) la te t srW la e4NrU f Stmr Tort A S-a SUM ree o.ate lae I a -a le ! I firwe, m4 lutf i m. I w 11114 a-l mt rfvli4 People and Events By Inducing his trail-hitters to pay up their household bills, Rev. Billy Sunday managed to send a welcome slice of sal vation to Philadelphia grocers snd meat Shoua. "N.it all weddlnss sre quiet" remarks the Ft. Louis Globe-Democrat, "though that's chiefly the kind that the society reporter finds. At a wedding In Indiana the roof fell In." ''B-'er Poars in Munich" is a recent headline scream on war news. Beer usually goes up before it goes down, but soaring squints st aviators taking en fresh ammunition. A preacher who is a candidate for mayor of Greenwich, Conn.,' promises If elected to make the place like heaven. As he cannot furnish plans and specifica tions of the other place, Greenwlchers rerard his piomlses as seasonable caloric. The wets In the Iowa legislature man aged to Induce the drys to Include flying machines snd submarines In the list of prohibited vehicles of boose. It took a diagram ot the subsea impossibilities of the Des Moines river to convince the drys that they were kidded. Because the Denver Poet presumed to apeak about the members in a red Ink voice the Cclorado legislature expelled the paper" reporters from the legislative halls. Now the Post la painting the law makers In red and black, and demands that the members shut up and go home for the honor ,f Colorado. ' A former bellhop of Chicago, who has been promoted via the tip route to tho proprietorship of a hostelry, tips off the route to success for the tipsters at the bottom. "Don't waste time on big bugs.- he says. "Shower attentions on the women. If they tip at all, they tip liber ally. Play the honeymooner hard, the men like to make s splurge before their brides. Don't persecute tightwads shame them by faultless service. Above alt save." In sueing America first the most fas tidious of globe trotters can be shown scenlo wonders equal to the best abroad. even though they lack the ancient at-' mosphere. For example: Buffalo with j Its falls, Cleveland and It famous sn- ' Ctent denot T-aim Al Mlchlasnn arA m, I Swiss chalets of Chicago, Omaha with Its Castle, the unrivaled spoutlngs of Old Faithful in the Tellowstone. the smoke puffs of Mount Lssscn In the Sierras and the periodic hot blasts of Bumpas Hill. An unrivaled layout, warranted to make the fattest purse perspire with Joy. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. Vonng Turk The harem women throughnit the nation are making a threatening euff demonstration. Grand Vizier More of those veiled threats, eh'.' Judise. "Whst mskes you think America has a great musiral future?" "The noise we rin mnke at an electlor or a ball, game shows that we have great voices. All thy need la a little cultiva tion." Washington Ptsr. "Another omhexilcment, I see. Isn't It odd that these are nlwsv committed by trusted clerks?" "Not at all. The ones that are not trusted never get chalice at the monev." Moston Transcript. !.T t'1 People of your church dance?" 1 'o wie people of your cl ".Lm. PrTV to esy they do. "Pad "lKn't the people of your church dance?" . "'l',. TheZ on,T ,nlnk tMey dor-Cleveland Plain Dealer. "When the milkman goo on the stand as a witness, he will meet with a fitting fate? "How so?" "They'll pump hlm."-Baltimore Amer ican. "Wombat used lo h, . .,,. - - p. ' 1 l. VXlUI'i'l man and all rmml inn.t 1- 1 ciled to married life?" "i think so. I called on him recently and found him sifting ashes with an old tennia racquet." Kansas City Journal. "Now, doc," said the patient who wasn t so very sick, "I want you to set m." n"re- What I want Is a nurse with golden hair, blue eyes, pretty figure and melodious voice." "You don't want a nurse," retorted the doctor with some authority. "What you aant Is a front seat at a musical com edy." Louisville Courier-Journal. QUAINT BITS OF LIFE. Mrs. William Carlisle of EUendale, Dot., until a few daya ago In all her fifty years never had seen a trolley car, a telephone or an auto.' Daniel Desh, .70 years old, a farmer, residing one and one-half miles south of Macungie, Pa., enjoyed his first ride on a trolley car recently. Riley Bradford of Friendship. Me., has the oldest continuous subscription to a Portland paper. This subscription has been in the Bradford family ever since the paper waa first issued in U00. Sometimes at the birth of a Japanese baby a tree is planted, which must re main untouched until the marriage of the child. When the nuptial hour arrives the tree Is cut down and a skilled cabinet maker transforms the wood into furni ture for the house of the young people. While hundreds of travelers were surg ing through the concourse of the Union station In Memphis, Tenn., and train bells were ringing,' the Rev. Frank B. Shep. I herd of Charleston, Mlsa, and Ml 53. Annie C. JI. Ham of Memphis, were married in the women's waiting room of the station While surveying near the boundary, be tween Wisconsin and Illinois, Bob Cald well waa unable to find fifteen of the miniature monuments, each of which i weigh several hundred pounds, which designate the boundary line. After a diligent search he found all of them neatly piled in a garden nearby. The residents had found the stones a nuisance while digging their gardens. Georgia has gone dry. and Congresi man Adam son tells this story apropos of the fact. One of the colored hands asked the boss to lend him S3 to buy a pair of shoes. "What do you want with shoes?" Inquired his employer. "Never saw you wear shoes yet. I've seen you around here barefooted from May to December, and you never seemed to miss shoes." "Tes, sir, dafs right," was the reply. "Nevah felt de need of shoes before. But since Georgia went prohibition dere's so many broken bottles lyin' 'round dat I can't walk ten steps without cutting my i xeet." iglicst Quality AND Lowest Prices TABLOIDS OF SCIENCE. The world's greateat iodine works are in Chile, having an annual output of 10,000 pounds. That growing plants will turn toward radium emanations as they do toward light haa been proved by a Vienna sclent 1st. Wireless telegraph waves are propa gated along the surface of the earth with a velocity slightly lass tbsa ist.000 miles aa hour. Ia cooking a perfectly fresh egg It hould be allowed to boil at least half a minute longer thaa ona which, is several days old. Raw cabbage, eaten without any dress ing or with salt, olive oil and lemon Juice. Is recommended by many physicians as an aid to digestion. It is possible for the human ear to dis tinguish aowada ever a range of about eleven ortavee. bat only aevea snd a third octaves are used la music. As a etaadard apparatus for measuring dust sod soot la tha air a committee of English arteattsts has recommended a ' rain gauge with a wvte collecting area. the water finding He way Into a bottle for analysis. ' it Mason & Hamlin Pianos $550 up Kranich & Bach Pianos $450 up Bush & Lane Pianos $350 up Kimball Pianos $265 up Cabla-Mefson Pianos $250 up Cash or Terms 1 -11 Yes, They Are CHEAP Bot Good for Many Years Befinlshed l'lanos. Manufactured by Mason ft Hamlin, Stelnway, Mehlln, Kimball, Cable Nelson, Shulhof-McCammon Pianos. Prices ranging 985. SlOO, S125. $135. 15p. 8200. 8250. 8S75 Easjr Terms. 0BGAH8 XlmbalL Carpenter, e Prices S15. S20. S30 and S3 5 50t? per week buys one. A. ilospe Go. 1418 Deiglaa.St. BROKEN THREADS. A flee r rlnu.t sweat overhead t n frweulanipe say. rVarre Uraer tBaa a wevea thread. A breelb. a . I' she4w as irapreet dew. Ihal rut Ummlt twin M aiut jvu, 1st Mb-eilv awter law Taal II wee ruga. A .' jiM bate dwaeUad 1 fee )u4 -r kw,4 A seas' wms Ma a wWkkeld T)- siao-w e sevee I I'.t tha ea lueM whs ia a . t-e-e aaa twraed. rash teataxe .a tfc I'HM ic a were la e e aert was mm t BK4waeXa4; Ikel eavJi seJ w.ta -! ut Tae tm t atl sa wsnav, V ,e la a rta Tv m4 4t. a test f , ri . . Sw4 -KtVII East and South VIA Illinois Central R. R, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee, Florida CHICAGO HOT SPRINGS Connection for All Eastern Points FIXEST ALL-STEEL ECJlPlttlT la'erailifli, TkUU, Et&, it City Ticket Clfica 407 Co. 1Cth Ctreet Phone Doug. 2C4 0. MORTH. Olatrlet sseeager Ageat, Osaesia, Nesv Ma-a. 4-A.e ewt e4