4 ft TIIK OMAHA SUNDAY HKK: MAKCH 7, 1915. THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEE FOUNDED BY EDWARD KOSEWATEtt. VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR. The Bo Publishing Company. Proprietor. BED BUILDING. FARNAM AND BEVENTFENTH. Entered at Omaha postoffice at aeconfl-claaa matter. By malt per vfr M o 4 (M (t.no 4 j.ns TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. By rarrler per month. TaUy anil Sunday tec.... Is!ly without Sunday.... 4M:.... T?venlng and Sunday Kvenlng without Sunday 2Sc.... . i i .. 'lW' Fond notice of ehenre cf address or complaints or Irrnrularlty In delivery to Omaha to, Circulation Department. -. REMITTANCE. Remit by draft, express or postal order. Only two rent postajre stamps received In payment of email ac count! Personal checks, excrpt on Omaha ana eastern exchange, not accepted. OFFICES. Omaha The Pee Rullillnir. South Omaha 2318 N street. Council tflnrfs 14 North Main street. Lincoln 2S Little Hull.llna. Chicago 01 Hearst nulltllns New York Room INK. 2 Fifth avenue. Ft. Ixiil-.ri03 New Bank of Commerce. Washington ?3i Fourteenth St.. N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Addreea communications relating to news and edi torial matter to Omaha Bee. Editorial Department. JANUARY blNDAV CIRCULATION. 44,541 Btate of Nebraska, Counly of Pouslas, as. DwtKht Williams, circulation manaiter of The Bee Publishing company, being duly Horn, says that the average Sunday circulation for the month of January, 11&. waa 44, Ml, DWIGHT WILLJAMS. Circulation Manager. Subscribed In mv presence and aworn to before me. this 2d day of February, WIS. ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public. Subscribers leaving the elty temporarily should have Th Be mallsl to them. Ad drrss will b changed as often as" requested. r March T Thought for the Day SmUettJ by R .btrta Hatttnkaartr A raaVs reacA thou d tjoted hit gratp. Or what it liuwn fori Robert Browning. Looks as If the "Divine Sara" well her part to the end. would play It 1 quite plain that those post-office effi ciency experts overshot the mark. The one positive certainty of the world war is that map-makers will come out victorious. Turkey, it will be recalled, proclaimed a holy rar. The allies are contributing a few holes. All excursion tickets to 'Frisco permit stop over -at Omaha. It's up to us to make 'em stop. Extra session talk has dropped to discount so far that it is not even carried in the quotations. At last a useful function has been found for the vice president. He is to be substituted for the president at a speech-making occasion. All these different reasons advanced by the railroads to support their plea for permission to raise rates subordinate themselves to the-one reason, "We need the money." Turkey's war bulletin editor, though, some what late in entering the ring, dlsplayf aa mucb Imaginative enterprise as his contemporaries and Is Bteadlly pushing his way to a front seat la the Ananias club. Always room for one more. Did you not the novel suggestion In our letterbox for a union station for Omaha and Council Bluffs erected on a bridge aaross, the Missouri rlvert Schemes that at first looked crazier than that have materialised. La Touraine and the Wirtleii. Again has the wireless played its part, and Himmonad help for a stricken liner, afire in mid oean, but It is one of the pranks of fate that It FhmJd have been La Touraine to send out the "S. O. R." For this gallant French boat has figured in some of the most notable of recent fva. tragedies nnd has ben prominent in rescue work. It was the captain of La Touraine who spoke the Titanic on its last night and Rave warning of the presence of Icebergs. It was La Touraine lhat le4 the race to the burning Vol ! turno, and launched the first boat In a terrific pea, saving many of the persons on board that vesicl. Last fall, when the great swarm of American tourists were caught by the unex pected declaration of war in Europe, it was La Touraine that was held to bring home stranded Yankees. In other ways did the vessel and its crew figure In recent history of the North At lantic. Captain Caussln and his crew wera riven decorations for the part in the Volturno affair. Peril of fire at sea has not been removed, nnd perhaps will not be, but Its danger has been minimized by tbe Invention of Marconi, and the dah of swift steamers to tbe rescue is a sure proof that the presence of war, with its savagery, has not obliterated the better Impulses of hu manity entirely. The delightful necktie republic of Panama emulates its larger neighbors by acquiring a Juicy national debt of $3,000,000. Obligations of this kind have the merit of putting pep in the Joy of living today and leaving posterity some thing to hustle tor. Folks are being reminded that the German farmer raises twice as many bushels of wheat to the acre aa the American farmer. But what good reason is there for such discrepancy? Just imagine Nebraska's wheat yield doubled on the tame acreage. If it can be done in Germany, it can also be done in Nebraska. Holland's neutrality rest on a mobile army of 376,000 men and 7,000 miles of canals and ditches. As a means of defense the latter Is more imposing than the army. Inasmuch as the lower country can be flooded to depth impossible to wade through and unfit for navigation. As a symbol of Netherland security Carnegie's peace palace at The Hague bears an impressive local significance. When'i a Lobbyist Not a Lobbyist! Nebraska's statute book fairly well defines a lobbyist, and makes certain definite provisions for regulating his relations with the members of the legislature, such as registration and the like. ' Ever since the present session began, our democratic brethren have been trying to deter mine when a lobbyist is not a lobbyist. In some degree they have achieved an answer. It appears, the conclusion being based on proceedings In the house, that when a gentle man is described as a "hardworking, loyal, sin cere, honest democrat." he is not a lobbyist, even if he do all those things a lobbyist Is permitted under the law to do, and more. He may approach legislators in and out of session, may appear before committees and otherwise advocate or oppose- legislation, and still be exempt from the law, If he Is known to be a democratic leader. Another class of gentlemen also seem to be exempt, these coming under the head of "states men," having formerly served as members of Ue legislature. They are "elder brothers" of the legislators, apparently, and are permitted to operate for or against pending measures without let or hindrance, while the mere "corporation cormorant must wear the tag provided by the statute, or be subject to its penalty. What is the distinction between one lobbyist and another, that the democrats should so in latently discriminate in the manner of treatlns men who are present at Lincoln avowedly for tbo purpose of Influencing legislation? Staff Men Are Made Of Omaha has at least one boy who Is made of the right kind of stuff. He got out of bed at 5 o'clock In the morning, while the snow was still falling, to clear a path for his sister to the car line. He did not stop when he came to tbe limit of the frailly plot, but scooped steadily on, clearing the snow from the neighbors' walks as well, thus showing his plan to help was not bounded by any selfish thought. This boy shows a spirit of pluck and determination of the high est order, and a quality of consideration for oth ers that is most rare in these times. More for others, and lens for self, is the spirit that will move the world along a little faster, and a little bmootber. The application of the Golden Rulo is not so hard when once It Is undertaken in tbe right manner. This Omaha boy has shown tho way, and his example may well be followed by many men. Reign of Terror la Mexico City. Prescott's description of the final razing of the capital of the Montesumas by tbe conqulsta dores may well be read In connection with the reports that come from the City of Mexico today. The misery and suffering of the citizens of Tenochtltlan while Cortez and his soldiers were razing and burning the town Is being repeated, (while the soldiers of Obregon loot and pillage with the consent of their .commander. Life and property is held at the whim of this latest of military masters of that unhappy capital city of Mexico, and famine has added Its terror to the Hat, which includes about everything of evil In the category of war, with apparently nothing to mitigate or relieve the horrors. The Indiffer ence of Obregon to public safety has aggravated the anarchy already established, and conditions seem to be about as bad as can be imagined. Mr. Bryan hat again appealed to General Carransa, as the bead of tbe particular army of "liberty" to which Obregon belongs, asking that be make his minion behave. This appeal la not likely to be productive of mora good than any of the others made to tbe irresponsible chiefs of disorder. "Watchful waiting" must very soon give way to something more specific. Com plaints from other countries are now heard at Washington with greater force than ever. The cause of humanity la pressing President Wilson to abandon bis Mexican policy and to adopt a more definite plan for dealing with this pressing problem. All will hope that war may be averted, but the situation In Mexico is rapidly becoming Intolerable. Workmen'! Compensation in New Jersey. "Three Years Under the New Jersey Work men's Compensation Law" is the title of the re port of an investigation - under the direction of the social Insurance committee of the Ameri can Association tor Labor Legislation Just made public In printed form, which suggests how tbe various workmen's compensation laws enacted by different states must eventually be scrutinized and perfected in the light of actual experience. The committee calls attention to the fact that several types of compensation acta are now in operation, referred to as the "Massachusetts model." the "Michigan plan," the - "Ohio and Washington systems," with modifications in other states, and that the desire for uniformity must be promoted by applying tests of proper standards to them from time to time. In this particular instance. New Jersey was selected as being the first state to permanently put in effect a compensation system, the New Jersey law dat ing from July, 1911, and making available the record of three years' experience. As the result of their investigation tbe committee declares that, although compensation In New Jersey marked a great advance beyond tbe discredited liability system, there have been none-the-lesa many occurrences to be roundly condemned, the main faults being traced to the lack of an ad ministrative board, the absence of Insurance re quirements and a too low scale of compensation. However, 'it is a pleasure to note" that ftew Jer sey officials have during the last month recom mended to the legislature important amendments to bring tbe law up to tbe suggested standards. To what extent tbe Nebraska compensation law contains the same short-comings as the New Jersey law, we are not prepared to say, but plainly the same method of getting the fads, and finding the boles to be plugged, to make the law still better than it Is, must be followed here it we are to achieve any substantial progress. To let those who oppose the compensation system altogether chop our law to pieces haphazard be fore any one knows In what parts it Is working well or poorly, would be tbe height of folly. And above all. whatever changes are made, when tbe time comes for changes, should be In the di rection of uniformity with other states that have adopted tbe same type of compensation law. . There la no feature of the world war but will find an attentive auditor la this neutral land. For example, the calculation of an expert that German shell guns shoot away 305 tons of cop per a day will not make the copper barons of this country very miserable By TIOTOB BOflWATla. WIIILB In New York t had a dellshtful session with George Fylvester Vlereck, editor of Fatherland, which li. t believe, the moet militant proponent tf tha German cause printed any where In the English lenguage, renewing an acquaint ance fit five years- standing, begun during a tour of old Mexico. Vlereck la young. Juat turning SO. and In volubility and manrwrlsms "echt deutsch." He Is a blue-eyed blonde of slight build. Utile taller than myself, yet In motion, a human cyclone, a rapid-fire run with a continuous outpouring upon the enemy. The Fatherland establishment la a veritable bee hive of bewildering activity, not only with respect to the publication itself, hut on all aorta of aide Issues. "I am Just Inundated with letters from all ov.r the country offering suggestions or asking questions, and I cannot possibly attend personally to my cor respondence. I have aJready had two public do-bat-1 on the war, and have another scheduled and could keep busy talking all the time If I would," explalnod Mr. Vlereck. Wills I waa there he was beseiged by a reporter for one of the New Yonk newspapers tor advice bow to get certain information difficult of access, was called up by phone from the German lied Cross head quarters, and received a report of the war movies that are being put out as part of the German educa tional oampalgn. He told me then what has since appeared In the dispatches that he had been solic ited to help out a scheme to get American passports for German spy service, but had positively refused to have anything to do with it "Fatherland's career has bean simply ptiTomenal," said Mr. Vlereck. "It was started merely aa aa ex periment to oo interact the distortion Of publlo opin ion about Germany In the war. but was so eagerly caught up, and has grown ao rapidly fii circula tion and influence, that 1 see no limit to its possi bilities." "What about your other publication, the Inter national 7" I inquired. "Oh. I had almost forgotten tht entirely. Tou see. Path-rland Is a weekly, and the International a monthly, so I have left the latter to others to Bet out for me. It Is supposed to appear by the sixth of each month. Last month the sixth passed with out its appeamnoe, but a few days' delay is not seri ous with a monthly. Fatherland is Issued weekly, ana must come out on time. Toiinir Mr. Vlereck is nrvet u wu & nrn and, in fact, had achieved a high reputation in litera ture before he attained hl majority. Ho has been advertised bv hla Duhllahem "a His volumes do not quite fill a five-foot bookshelf yet, out ne has made a good start at it. In Ms emotional enthusiasm he was a violent ad herent of Colonel ItooaaVclt for a thlrrf nj t have yet hla appeal to me for an opportunity to look in on i no aia convention proceedings, wnlch he wrote aa follows: "I have no ticket to the convention yet Shall it be aaid to tho shame of the republican party that the greatest American poet asked for admis sion to its oonventlon, and waa shown the door? What will posterity sayT "In the whole course, of Amerioan silstory I can think of but one Incident which would par allel such a refusal, namely, the treatment Edgar Allen Poe received from the politicians when they kicked him in Baltimore and he died In the gutter. I shall not die In the gutter, but seriously I want to go to Chicago. "While I am praying for Teddy night and day. I promise you that I will not stampede the con vention." "No. I am not such an Amlmr Vti--i t volt as I used to be." frankly declred Vlereck the other day. "He la not tho big man wo thought he waa We asked him to make a statement that would do the Germans justice in the Belgian matter, and ne acciinoa. lie mlased his greatest opportunity." The report current here to the effect that former Senator John M. Thurston Is coming back to prac tice law in Omaha, is in diametrical contradiction of what I heard In Washington T . . ... Thurston from one of hla former law associates there who gave this disquieting report: "Judgo Thurston Is at Beaver Dam. Wis., where aslster is taking car, of hire. He Is completely broken down, both mentally and physicfly. Even before he went away he gave up his law office and sold his library. Juat a few days ago a default Judg ment for 110,000 was taken against him .n one of tlie local courts, on some paper he had endored for his son, Clarence, with no one appearing for the defense His frlonds In Washington 1mlv heard nothing from him. and but occasionally of him since his departure which was nearly two years ago." . It is always good to sea a friend going steadily tip ward. Here Is a brochure containing a talk on Bus Iness and Publlo Opinion.' delivered by Thomas Oretgh before the ways and means committee of the Chicago Association of Commerce. "Tom" went to the IaXe city along with the Cudahys when they took their headquarters away from Omaha. 1I has put In a good part of tho winter looking after the interests of the Mg meat packers before the government boards at Washington and he hasn't forgotten hla home folka or home town, either. SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT Exeroise for Emmy. Emmy brought In an armful of wood for tho fire "My dear." said her husband, "you shouldn't do that" She lifted the heavy oaso of berries to the tablo and sat down to look them over. 'Td help you If I wasn't waiting for BaUa to come over and look at the new filly." The grooar's boy deposited a dollar's worth of sugar on the floor and Emmy took it up and put it In the sugar pall on the lower pantry shelf. "rou really shouldn't." said her husband. Finally she lugged the Iron preserve tattle to the sink for the last time and went out for another pall of water. "I hate to see you lift so, Emmy. My, how many glasses have you gotT It's my favorite Jam. I'll, get you a case of cWrles tomorrow." Emmy went en getting up a hearty supper. Seems as If yoo didn't eat much, commented her husband. -Don't you want to walk down wtth me tonight while I finish that rubber with Stetson The exercise will do you good." The Craftf.nan. II A ' r-- a tuMnttm mo act ftikjT The Third Congresational church has been organ laed and w ill occupy Ita spacious building on tho cor ner of Nineteenth and Hpruce, The denomination has a strong foothold In the city, and la represented In the suburbs wtth regular aervioes mi Saratoga end Florence. 8. R. Auchmoody, cashier ef Clarke Brothers drug company, fell down a atalraay In the store yoaUr day, and susUUned severe bruises. Krastua Young, auditor of the t'nlon Pacific, has fitted up hla house on Twenty-second street. In fine style. Mr. and Mrs. Field or Boston are visitors there. Joseph Ooldsmlth of the Misfit Clothing parlors, left for Aurora. Ind., to attend the wedding of his sister, and wtll be gone about ton days. Mrs. John N. Baldwin. HM South KUth Street. Council Bluffs, la advertising for a ooaipetent cook. William Draxel, who lias been engaged in business at St Joseph for the last six months, la visiting his relatives In Omaha. The program of the ladles' musical at its last meeting was furnished by Cie Misses Gertrude and Kdlth Jones, Mrs. Jthoadea, Mrs. Metcalfe. Miss Roth chlUI. Mum Newman and Mlie Pennell. Mrs. J 8. Clark, the sweet singer, has moved to Burt and I'ish'eenth streets Houston Post : An Indiana minister says a man la lucky if he doesn't make a fool of himself more than a couple of hundred times during his life. Not exactly lucky, but probably very ehorVllyed. ft. Louis Republic: The RL Louis clergyman who recently warned tbe young men against sowing wist oats might have made his case stronger by reminding them of the prevailing price of whent Boaton Tranwrlpt: The Rt Irrev. Billy needn't worry about . that frame taber nacle of his putting up temporary wooden shacks heated by stoves la one of the easiest things our building laws do. Cleveland Plain Dealer: One St. Louis church proposes to establish an open forum In which anybody may talk about anything as long as ho' pleasea Is It. perhaps, intended as a sort or training camp for United States senators'? Chicago Herald: Ex-Senator Cannon's attack on Mot-monism reminds us of the fact that Mormonlsm Is about the only religion that embodies a practical plan for meeting tbe wishes of European bel ligerents In regard to population. AE0UTTD THE CITIES. Denver Is building an aqueduct 1.40 feet long as part of a new water supply sys tem. Cleveland's street railway management threatens to go Into the Jitney business at out rates. 1 At the present moment Ohlcago's mu nicipal campaign draws ita main energy from Swnltzer. 8loux city park authorities will place BOO bird houses in the parks during tbe. spring months. Philadelphia's director of publlo safety asks for 000 additional policemen to patrol outlying districts. Theater ticket scalpers In' Chicago pull down fJOO.OOO a year. Visitors are the prin cipal easy marks. ' Philadelphia's cat refuge Isst year en tertained 82,000 feline hoboes and put them out of business. Out in Beattle a week ago glass and tanks maliciously scattered on the streets put dosens of Jitneys out of business long enough to get new tires- The chief smoke inspector of 8t Louis figures the annual damage by soot at $5,000,000, without counting the number of Uvea imperilled by soot-laden lungs. ; The San Francisco Sierra club has launched a movement to construct the John Muir trail connecting Tosemlte Na tional park with Mount Whitney as a merorial to the distinguished naturalist who died recently. Pig hundred business men of Minne apolis unite In a domand on the railroads for a new union station. A similar move ment In Des Moines brought the response that there would bo nothing doing in depot matters unless passenger rates went up to 2V4 cents per. Kenosha, Wis., Is making an effort to solve the servant girl problem by open ing a school for the express purpose ot educating housemaids. The opening class numbered fifteen young women of all nationalities. Practical lessons are given In bregdmaklng, table serving, house keeping, bedmaking and In other domestic arts. QUAINT BITS OF LIFE. In some parts of Siberia milk is sold froxen around a piece of wood, which serves as a handle to carry It. ' George Bodenkamer of Mountain florae Ark., offers to give a 200-pound hog io anyone finding him a suitable wife within ninety days. During 1M4 approximately tt.TSS.000 coins o? all denominations, weighing about 2$ tuns, were taken from the' 16,569 prepay ment telephones In Manhattan and the Bronx. Dr. George Qulnn, aged 84, an Indian medicine man, received his first haircut and shave a fow days ao. Pulling a Jackknlfe from his pocket, he showed the barber how he used to cut hla hair and pull tbe whiskers from his face. William H. Lacey of New Havea bought some esgs a day or two ago and one of Uiera bore this Inscription: "This egg comes from Detroit, Mich. It w as packed by a handsome young woman in the year ot our Lord. August 17. 1909." In Korea until comparatively recently a man was not allowed the dignity ot trousers until he had taken to himself a wife. Your gay bachelor had to wear a skirt, and brand himself in tho publlo View as one who had not yet attained a position in whloh he could support a wife. Unable to forget a schoolmate, though he Is W. Orrin Wilcox of Milwaukee. Wis., Is In Wlnstead. Cfonn., en his an nual visit to Mrs. Julia Dayton, who will be 17 May L They grew up together In Unlonville. m the last four years Mr. Wilcox has made an annual pilgrimage to the east visiting old friends, including Mra. Dayton. He says he is going to keep It up aa long as he lives. CYNICAL MUSINGS. There are mighty few sisa posts on the road to success. . ' Don't tall your troubles it you are look ing for an eaoore. All men may be born equal, but they get ovwr it before they die. Many a man's will power beoomes stag nant from lack of exercise. Many a man brags about a future that It already overshadowed by his past. Some men never grasp an opportunity till .Some other fellow lets go of it. The easiest thing In the world to make Is a mistake. The next easiest is trouble. . The only way to get some people to the front is by attacking them In the rear. i , , You never can tell. Many a woman wth a muddy complexion has a clear conscience. . There Is nothing new under the aun. AH. the good escuaes have already been made, i Of course it Is better to believe every thing you say than to say everything you bt lleve. . No man ever realizes how Insignificant he really Is till he sttends his own wed ding. Never marry a Jealous .woman. A woman who is Jealous is almost as bad as one who isn't Any novelist will tell you that the first story doean't always got him la on tbe ground floor. The man who la rsrried away by hla own enthusiasm some times expects some body elae to carry him back. The devil doesn't care how often a man goes to church on Sunday, if he can uae him the rest of the week. New York Tlmea People and Events DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. Titled and other aristocratic Belgians are now living In London on 13.75 a week, snd fairly contented with the handout War Is a mighty leveler of ranks. Genevieve Lehlne la suing J. D. Peter son of Atlanta. Oa., for t'o.000, alleging that he forcibly kissed her hand and shocked her. Peterson committed an In excusable blunder In stoorlng to kiss. Louis Maxelner of Alton, III., Is so popular aa a street car conductor that the women patrons voted against hla promotion to a political offli-e and de feated his candidacy. Strange to say, Louis does not appreciate the certificate of eateem. Miss Hczepankewicx of Philadelphia Is trying to get rid of her name by the aid of the law. She has not been in the country long enough to rhange It In the conventional way, and desires legal relief to escape the suspicion of being a walking war bulletin. Report lias reached Chicago of the death of Count Mourik de Beaufort on tho French battle front. Some years ago tho count distinguished himself as an American heiress hunter, having captured Miss Irma Kllgallon. daughter of a Chi cago millionaire. A few years was enough ot Beaufort's company and the Kllgallons shook him. but not until the count shook down a large bunch ot the Kllgallon surplus, at the same time pro viding Juicy sensations for the newspa pers and the gossips. Buffalo was .cruelly buffaloed the other day. Somebody started the report that our own Admiral Dewey was coming to town, so the patriotic natives decorated the town in honor of the hero of Manila Bay. Reception committees In gala attire awaited tils coming and a bunch of limousines chugged merrily in anticipa tion of showing htm the sights. The ad miral came, all right, but It was admiral Dewa of the Japanese navy. The recep tion committers made tho best of the situation and showed the Japanese most of the courteaios planned for George. George 8. Ward, chief push of the Ward Baking company of New, York, a WO.OW.000 corporation, told a search ing committee that his company used plaster ot parla to reduce the quantity of yeast In the making of bread. Similar testimony was given by Boston bakers. Plaster of parts is also known as gypsum and calcium sulphate, and makes the very pretty white finish on newly plastered walls. According to Mr. Ward tho combination makes bread loaves lighter and larger. Of course. It Is not Injurious, because not enough of It Is used to put the finishing touches on sn Interior department. WOMEN'S ACTIVITIES. ' Mrs. Charles II. Truax, widow of a New York supreme court Justice, has been ap pointed receiver of an apartment house property In New York City. This Is the first time a court Job of this kind went torn woman. A bill for a living wage Is proposed by a factory Investigating committee In New York. It was found that 64 per cent, or more than 30,000, women and girls em ployed throughout the state receive less than tTM a week, and more than 10,000 less than $3.00 a week. Thirty-eight women nurses of the Ger man ambulance corps were decorated with the iron cross by the German em peror, and- it has been Intimated, that more women will soon receive the same decoration. Heretofore the cross has only been given to men. Miss Natalie Emtlle Wlnslow of' New port, B..- I.,' was sponsor for the United States torpedo-boat destroyer launched re cently In - Cramps' shipyard. She , was chosen because the destroyer was named the Wlnslow, in honor of Rear Admiral Wlnslow. her grandfather, who was com mander of the United States ship, Kear sarge. which sank the confederate ship, Alabama. Thore la nothing more significant of the ! work that women are doing In the news ot the last week than the announcement that the house at Washington has' passed the bill for the national abolition of child i labor by a vote of 232 to 44. The measure prohibits Interstate shipment of mine or quarry products that were produced by children under 16 years of age, and the products of Industrial establishments of other kinds produced by children under 14 years old. TABLOIDS OF SCIENCE. "My floor, everybody says young Siay late, ho is courting our Jane. Is a com ing nin n.- "Well. I would like him better If lie were more of a going one." Baltimore American. "What a cheerful woman Mrs. Slmlcy Is!" "Isn't Rhe? Why. do yo'i know, ihst wiiman can have a goixl time thlnkin whst a good time he would have if she were having It." New York World. She Hut If 1 can't live on mv inconm end you can't live on yours, where would l-f i. it- uv.,i)tHK of our marrying? He (thoughtfully W ill. hy putting our incomes toother, one of us woul 1 he 11M0 to live, at any rate. ttoston Transcript. Famous Actor h, yes, I'm married, but 1 Hlways think It's kind o' tough on a girl thai marries one of us travelln' men. She Still. It might be worse. I sup pose you re away from home rncst of the time Life. I met Biffers' wife vesterdav. Talks all the time, doesn't she?" "Yes." ','1 never heard buffers complain about "He'd better not. She supports him by lecturing." Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Who Is that man who follows the gen eral about?" "His aid." "But why does he need an aid hang ing around him all the time?" "Well, you see, the general has more medals than he can conveniently wear himself." Kansas City Journal. "Mins n Wl tr L-rhiit.f .n. - A r,..,, ., v...., , una iiir borrow Brother Jiulc'i n T-T-ii, ltnn In your room?" "Why should I borrow your brother's parrot?" "Because I heard him say the lan guage that bird uses would make your hair curl." (Baltimore American, ,.Srhrnldt sued Jones for slander, alleging that Jones had called him a hippopotamus some six months before. Of this tlnio item Jones' attorney made capital, say ing scornfully: "Why, you haven't got any case, Mr. Frhmldt. If your feelings were so badly hurt why didn't you take action six months ago?" ..!'Yeh 1 knowi" answered Schmidt easllv. but 1 tief for saw a hippopotamus until two veeks jadt already," Everybodv's Magaslne. YESTEBDAY. Chicago Post It Is not far to Yesterday, And there we turn our eyes To where the good, glad memories In pleasing ideturea rise. The faded roses of today Grow red and rich with dew. And where gray clouds are spreading now We see the skies of blue. Just down the way Is Yesterday There sunshine always beams; Today we close our eyes and see Our Yesterday In dreams; TwTay we hear the long dead song. And now we understand Its cadence and know why It made Our Yesterday all grand. A little wav to Yesterday Today mav have Its fear. Yef Yesterday Is filled with smiles. Tomorrow has Its tears Today tomorrow what of them. When we can find the way That leads us to the golden land The land of Yesterday? It Is not far to Yesterday. t ith glamour of the rose; With haui tint; echo of the song That thrll ed us to the; close. Tomorrow and today will lose Their darkness nnd their gloom, And each will soon be Yesterday, With melody and bloom. Women are not so liable to sudden death as men In the proportion of one to eight. Rocks and stone buildings that are struck by lightning are magnetized by electricity. One tablespoonful of lemon Juice to two of water makes an efficient gargle for a sore throat The vacuum principle has bean applied to a Jar to keep a substantial meal hot or cold for many hours. The waste from two wood-pulp mills In Sweden that use the sulphite process, ordinarily considered valueless. Is being converted into industrial alcohol. Worms are great promoters of vegeta tion by boring, perforating and loosening the soli, and rendering it pervious to rams and the fibers of plants, by drawing straws and stalks of leaves and twigs into It and, most of all, by throwing up such infinite numbers of tumps of earth called wormcaats which form a fine manure for grain and grasa Steel Trains via Illinois Centra! R. R. to Chicago, Rockford, Freeport Dubuque, Waterloo. Fort Dodge Service East tod South Information, Tickets, etc, at City Ticket Office 407 So. 16th St. Phone Douglas 264 S. NORTH District Passenger Agent Omaha, Neb. -Mm- An Artistic Grand $455 BRAMBACH Here is a grand piano, perfect in tone, touch, workmanship and appearance and you may have it at one-half Its apparent vslue and on reasonable terms only $455 and built since 1821. A. HOIJE CO. 1518 IK)IGU8 STKEKT Our 4Ut Year.