4
TJIh OMAHA, -MONDAY, MARCH 1, 1915.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOl'NDED RY EDWARD ROSEWATKR.
VICTOR ROSEWATEK, EDITOR.
The Publishing Company, Proprietor.
BEE BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH.
Kntrrvd at Omaha postofflcs second-class matter.
TKHM3 OP SUBSCRIPTION.
Rv rarrlsr By mall
por month. psr year.
illr and $undsv W'n
I'sllv without Sunday... 4 "0
rnln an,l Punrtsy
Evening- without Sunday Ko 4.00
Snndav B only 2
Smrt nntlr of rhsr.se of artrlreps or complaint or
Irregularity In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation
Department.
REMITTANCE.
Remit hr draft. express or postal order. Only two
rent stamps received In payment of amall
count. Yersnnal checks, except on Omaha and eaatara
ichanse. not accepted.
i
OFFICES.
Omaha The. Pee Bnlldlna
South Omsna 3iR N street.
Council Bluff a M North Main street.
Lincoln 2 I.lttlo Building. .
Chlcaro Ml Hearst Bulldlnr
New York Room lift'., Fifth avenue.
Ft Ixul- Sns New Bunk of Commerce.
Washington 72b Fourteenth St.. N. W.
CORRKSl'ONDENCB.
Address communication! relatlns to naws and edi
torial matter to Omaha Bee. Editorial Department.
JAXUAKV CIKCTlATIOJi.
53,714
State of NhrsVa. County of Douglas
Dwlaht Williams, circulation mannacr of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly swum, says that the
average circulation for the
was 1O.747.
month of January. I1.
DWIflHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
Suhscrllied In my presence and sworn to before
February, lJ1r
ana. this 2d day of
ROBERT
-uary
HUN
TER. Notary Publle.
Subscribers leaving the city temporarily
should have The Hoc mailed to them. Ad
dress will bo changed as of tea as requested.
March 1
Thought for the Day
Stlmctud by C. Virginia Ktnnmdy
If you mean to a t nobly, and Met to know the
bat thinrji which God hath put within tfie reach
ot man, you must tix your mind on thai end,
and not on what will happen to jot became of
U.Oeorgt Eliot.
The electric light coon might as well come
down. Hesitation will not save It.
The tumbling price of wheat may require. a
Meant calliope to make Itself heard at flour mills
and bake shops.
In law and In fact, the Jitney is a common
carrier. 80 very common that street cars are
Inclined to shy at It.
The Plutcs render to posterity the dubious
service of forcing a revival of the forgotten art
of making "good Indians."
If bread makers have' the courage ot their
kick, why not come out In the open with an in
creased price for a stxteen-ounce loaf?
A peace parley "made In America" would be
more impressive if there was a certainty that
those most in need of It would welcome the
brand. .
Reading between the lines of the political
obituaries of Chicago's mayor it ia evident that
his performances were several miles behind his
promises. .
It may be noted as a common human charac
teristic that the Italians who are striving to
force their country Into war are not crowding
the recruiting offices of the reservists.
While the bakers of Omaha are squeezing the
weight of the loaf the bakers of New York are
hurrying back to the normal price of 6 cents.
The latter heard from consumers and heeded
the warning. -
Now watch how the leaders of a dying con
gress will eulogize its achievements and forget
the growing embarrassment of shrunken national
revenue. The evils that it created remain to
worry its successor.
H it very nice of the Rockefeller Institute
doctor io lay It on the hookworm, but a lot ot
people will still hold Major Wlrti, C. 8.' A, as
being responsible for some of the Ills suffered
by the union men who were Imprisoned at An-dersonvlle.
Chicago grain brokers doing business on
'change decline to show their books and records
to sleuthing government officials. The brokers
have too much regard for the health of Innocent
officials to risk their limbs among the ropes with
which the market is rigged.
United States and the World.
, It is most inspiring to read so calm and
fORent an article as that contributed by Viscount
Rryce to the literature of the present wsr. No
philosopher has considered the American people
with greater rare or closer analytical Inspection
than James Hryce, and none could put Into fewer
words, or with stronger expression, his summing
up of the conditions which make for American
citizenship. He says:
The children of Europeans who are horn In AmT
ca grow up normal American citizens for all prac
tical purposes. Their loyalty Is to the Ftars an-l
stripes, and their feeling for the land of their parenia
Is comparatively weak.
The truth of this statement is apparent to
any who has given the matter thought. While
Viscount Bryre especially referred In this con
nection to the children of Germans horn In this
country, his observation applies with equal force
to the children of all other foreign born citizens.
The institntlons of the United States are dear to
them, and their loyalty and devotion to their
country has been proven faithful whenever put
to the test.
Viscount Dryce further points out to the
belligerents the desirability of permitting the
United States to maintain its attitude of abso
lute inpartlallty, because it Is the greatest of
the neutral powers, and Its actions on any of the
important questions arising rn connection with
the war should not be affected in any degree by
bias In favor of one or the other parties to the
controversy. The countrymen of this great
political philosopher and historian will profit by
carefully reading, and thoroughly weighing, the
thought he has placed before them.
Another Argument for Home Rule.
The Omaha Commercial club has prepared
for the Information of its members a list of
forty-six bills Introduced in the legislature, di
rectly affecting Omaha, and only Indirectly, if
at all, affecting any other community in the
state. Almost every one of these measures has
to deal with matters which should properly be
left to the action of the citizens of Omaha, with
out appealing to the law-making body of the
state. A more forcible argument in favor of
home rule for Omaha could scarcely be pre
sented. Some day the citizens of Nebraska will
tire of having so much of the time of the legis
lative session taken up by 'discussing Omaha
local affairs, and will force the city to look after
its own business.
Profitable Time to Build
The spring building season in Omaha glows
In the distance with the promise of big things.
Business and office bandings, apartments and
homes, are projected, but active construction
work is delayed for various reasons. Some ot
these enterprises are in the architect stage, too
many in the talking stage. Yet at no time in
the past three years have such profitable induce
ments In the building line been offered as the
present season affords. t
Compared with last spring or the previous
year, a saving ot from 10 to IS per cent can be
effected In the cost of a building, large or small.
which is put up to contracting builders this
spring. This Is a moderate statement of the re
duced cost of building now prevailing, and the
reasons tor it are not far to seek.
In the first place, the law ot supply and de
mand ia the operating force. Supply Is greater
than the demand in all the factors of building
construction. Materials are substantially lower.
The demand for lumber la Insufficient to meet
overhead expenses, consequently dealers cut
down the margin of profit to stimulate business
and keep things moving. The labor market is
overstocked. Although wages are not suscepti
ble of change, the eagerness ot skilled workmen
for employment Insures a full day's work and
the top claaa of tradesmen.
Labor and lumber constitute the two largest
cost Items In home building in Omaha. They
are the factors which govern the responsible con
tractor's bid. Both are down to rock bottom.
Besides these spurring Inducements, the various
loaning agencies are overloaded with money and
could readily place $1,000,000 In a month at
normal rates on building securities.
It must be apparent to those contemplating
a building of any class that the prevailing condi
tions are exceptionally tavorabla for profitable
results. They Insure full measure In labor, and
material for 'every dollar Invested. Moreover,
every dollar put Into construction work stimu
lates a dormant labor market, revives activity in
material yards, carries spring cheer to the
homes of workmen and puts ginger tn the vari
ous currents of trade. Thua the builder who
promptly responds to the call of opportunity not
only profits thereby, but also puta a spur to the
mount of General Prosperity.
Forcing the Dardanelles
It Is Interesting to recall, at this moment, when
the BrltlBh and French fleets ere baUrlng the Dar
danelles forts, that It was an American frigate called
the Oeorge. Washington which 114 years ago last Oc
tober made the first passage of the Dardanelles after
the historic strait hai been "closed-' to foreign vessels.
American trading vessels had been attacked by
pirates off the coasts of Tripoli and Morocco, and
several sloops of wir had been dispatched to curb
this marauding, and tr aHk the Intervention of Turkey
to put a stop to It. The George Washington, com
manded by Captnln William Balnbrldge, aa one of
these, and at the time of the occurrence referred to
was taking several envoys front Tripoli to call on the
sultan. The vessel was halted by forts at the entrance
to the Dardanelles and asked for psssports. Having
none, and knowing the Importance of averting all de
lay, he lowered sail, saluted the Turkish forts, win
In turn saluted, and under cover of the smoke of this
performance, quickly hoisted eall and before the of
ficers of the sultan realised what was doing had
silled out of range of the guns of the fortifications
which were trained directly across and not up the
strait.
Captain Balnbrldge was favored by the winds anl
aoon made the narrow passage of about forty-five
miles, sailed gaily over the placid waters of the Kea
of Marmora, flying the strange American flag, sa
luted the forts at Constantinople, dropped anchor, and
when the nationality of the Intruding visitor was de
manded, responded: "A vessel of the New World."
The mission of the tleorge Washington was made
known, and as the fame of Waahlngton was world
wide the officers of the vessel were treated with most
complimentary consideration and the purpose of Cap
tain Balnbrldge as speedily accomplished. But the fact '
remained that he had gained the paasage rf the fa
mous strait by a trick for the sake of saving precious
time, and for this he waa not censured.
In 1808 a small British fleet under command of
Admiral Duckworth sailed through the strait on a
friendly mission, and again In 187S. a British fleet
sailed through to Constantinople to assist In the pre
vention of the fall of that city Into the hand's of the
Russians. More remarkable than all this Is the fact
that under permission of tha Turkish government
several of the veasels of the Russian volunteer fleet
bearing soldlera and convlcta were permitted to pass
through to the Black Sea In MM: and tn 1904, while
the war with Japan was In progress, two Russian
cruisers, tha Petersburg and Smolensk, were permitted
to pass from tha Black Sea through the Boaphorus
strait, the Sea. of Marmora and the Dardanelles under
commercial flags, hoisted tha Russian flag when they
reached the Red Sea. halted several British and Ger
man ships, but ceased their activities upon receiving
through British officers fresh instructions from the
ctar.
The Dardanelles, the ancient Hellespont, Is one of
the finest strategic points in the world and la Invested
with romantic and lraglo history that has been the
theme for no end of elasaio poetry and history. At
the narrowest passage, about a mile wide. Xerxes
rrossed on a bridge of boats 4S0 B. C. A little moro
than half a century later Alexander the Oreat made
the crossing with his conquering army. It was at thl
point that Leandcr, the love-lorn youth of Abydos,
nightly awam tha Hellespont to Sestos to visit the
beautiful Hero, but awam one night too often and
waa drowned. During a discussion of this feat sjtn
some frienda at 8estos. in 1810. Lord Byron declared
there could be no doubt of the truth of the story, and
upon a banter, stripped and easily awam to Abydos.
After tha Dardanelles are Bueeeasfully negotiated
there remains the forts of Constantinople and tha
Bosphorus guarding the waterway Into the' Black Sea.
The difficulties of that operation can hardly be as
great as the Dardanelles, where a much narrower
channel give land forts decided advantage. Once
the fleeta of tha allies command the capital Its doom
is sealed. Fear of such a contingency, fio doubt,
prompted tha removal of government records and
treasures to the Aalatlo ahoras.
Twice within half a century victorious armies have
knocked at tha back doors of Constantinople the
Russian arrdy In 1X77, and the allied Balkan army In
1012. With a hostile fleet now approaching the front
gate the end ot the Ottoman empire In Europe ia al
' most In sight 1 -V
For five hundred years, far longer than any other
European dynasty, the house of Othman has ruled
from Constantinople. Again and again has Turkey
been attacked and worsted. It has lost many of Its
possessions, yet with all Ma atrocities, tha'Unspeak
able Turk" haa managed to hold out against all
comera. Tha rule of the Turk' has been got rid of in
Hungary, Greece, Serbia, Bosnia, Herzegovina and
Bulgaria. Historians have ahown that as long as any
Christian land Is under the domination of tha Turk
there will be massacres. The menacea ot Europe for
the last seventy-five yeara have been .unavailing to
prevent the almost constant recurrence ot the human
slaughter.
The direct results of Turkish conquests have been
that while In the last W0 years the nations of western
Europe have been marching on with progressive civ
ilisation, the natlvea of eastern Europe have been
Buffering M0 years of bondage, with all Its frightful
attendants. "The rule of the Turk." says Freeman.
by whatever diplomatic euphemism It may be called.
means the bondage and degradation- of all who come
beneath hla rule. Such bondage and degradation is
not an incidental evil which may be reformed; it ia
tha essence of the whole system, tha groundwork on
which the Ottoman power Is built. The power which
Othman began, which Mahomet tha Conqueror firmly
eelabltaed, which Suleiman, tha lawgiver, raised to
tha highest pitch and splendor, la, beyond all powers
that the world ever aaw, tha embodiment ot wrong.
Ia tha most glorious regions of the world, tha rule
of the Turk has been an abomination of devastation
and nothing else. Out ot it no direct good can come."
Three federal Judges in Chicago unite in rul
ing that a stub railroad cannot escape Inter
state regulation by pleading that both ends are
in the same county and in the same state. The
ruling will seriously disarrange the system
which finds a sidetrack particularly useful in
twitching a rebate.
1 1
W. J. Ilaraha preached a special armon at tha
First Piesbyterlan church before the Woman's Mis
sionary society.
The afternoon mettlng of the Young Men's Chris
tian association waa conducted by Rev. J. Battlett of
Avoca, la.
The Kladt Theater company extended a benefit at
Turner hull to Mra. Puls-Ahl. The piece presented
was-'The Milkmaid." with Mrs. Puls-Ahl In the title
ole.
The Paxton hotel has a little social group of Its
own. whkh is holding Impromptu card parties or
musicala rlk'ht along. Those with permanent quar
tera there are: Dr. Summers and family, Mr. and
Mra Davt Carter. Mr. and Mrs. J. M. Metcalf. Mra.
I'oiDish. Dr. and Mrs. Uraddy, Mr. and Mra Paxton,
Mr. McDonald and family. General and Mrs. Towns
and Mr. Bibcock.
Mr. aud Mrs. R. C. Patterson have returned from
a month's visit to tha New Orleans exposition.
Hon. James E. Boyd is on his way to attend
meeting of the democratic national commutes to be
in Id in Washington tomorrow.
Mr. J. D. ller has returned from hla trip to Chu
csgo.
A new appearance docket, "Z." has been opened by
District Court CU-rk Ij&ma.
The VurliaUo bo at la that it now has six trains
that' leave Omaha daily fur all the principal point?.
cast, west and south.
Uncle Sam in the Insurance Business
When the war In Europe broke out steps
were immediately taken to protect American
shipping owners by permitting the government
to provide insurance for vessels and cargoes that
could not otherwise be obtained. The fruit ot
this action is now coming home. Two American
ships, laden with American cotton, and bound
for a German port, have been sunk in the North
sea aa a result of colliding with floating mines.
In each Instance the ship owners admit that the
loss of the vessela and cargo under the circum
stances was a natural risk in war times.
It will be very difficult, if not altogether im
possible, to determine the responsibility of
either ot the belligerents tor. the presence of
these vagrant mines In what is supposed to be
'open" water. The United States government
Is concerned in the matter because it will be
necessary to present and prosecute claims for
Indemnity because ot the fact that the govern
nient has Issued Insurance on these vessels. To
this end the president is seeking for the fullest
information available with the understanding
that any likelihood of suit will be lodged against
both Germany and England.
This Is but another novelty in the course
ot the war that has shattered many ot the prec
edents, as well as the conventions, of civilized
warfare. It also adds to the perplexity of the
administration, which is conscientiously en
deavorlng to fairly meet the Issues as presented
The American Red Cross, since the European
war began, has spent 170,000 in maintaining
eight hospitals In the various belligerent coun
tries. The outpouring ot American generosity
to the victims of war through the Red Cros
and other sources reflects tho highest credit on
the humane Impulses of our people.
Twice Told Tales
Insists lie la Correct.
CI,ARKH, Neb.. Feb. 27. To the Kditor
of The Bee; To answer "P. A. P." of
the eighteenth will say. that I am not
mistaken concerning Germans having to
learn Danish, and could prove the same
by living witnesses that I am right. But
enough of this I would like to Impress
on our Danish writer that the population
of Schlcswlg-Holstein la at leant nlne
tentha German, and that this being tha
fact, I would like the Idea of every
rightly thinking man a to the rightful
ownership of these two Herxogtuns. In
the 140) conference it was decided that
these two countries should be forever
undivided.
Now, being under German rule, all for
eigners should submit tbemselvea to Ger
ms n rules and regulations, tn same as
we have to do here. If they don't they
wotilj better get out of Schleswtg-IIol-
stein, as a good many of north Schieswtg
thought better.
Out with the truth, and nothing but the
truth. HERMAN HOLM.
Editorial Viewpoint
To "Aa Omahaa."
If the party who sent In a letirr signed
An Omahan," will send his name and
address to the editor of The Bee, his
communication my reoulve considera
tion. Unless the writer's name Is fur-
tailed, the letter will not be published.
The Fanny Printer.
Let us all try to console ourselves, when our
clients tear their hair over aome typographical error.
that to err Is human especially to err typographically
Rome of the finest Jokes extant oome through tha fact
that the printer's finger si I lie. Here are some, which,
lik alt others, are funny a long, long, long time after
wardnever at me ume:
A Chicago paper In reporting a political meeting
said that the vast audience rent the air with their
snouts.
Another Chicago paper reported that the propeller
Alaska was leaving port with a cargo of 40,000 bushels
of cats.
A Buffalo newspaper, In describing tha scene when
Roosevelt took the oath of office aa president, said It
waa a spectacle never to be forgotten when Roosevelt,
before the chief Justice of tha supreme wourt, took hi
simple bath. Associated Advertising.
Aa She la Spoke."
William Iackaye, the player, is a stickler for cor
rect English on and off the stage, and he never loses
an opportunity to put the erring on tha right path In
this respect
One afternoon Mr. Lackaye walked Into a New
Tork drug store and stated to a clerk his needa
man's comb.
"Do you want a narrow man's comb? wis tha
inquiry addressed to him.
"No." said Mr. Lackaye. with the utmost gravity.
"What I desire Is a comb for a stout man with rub
ber teeth." Upplncott'e.
ropalar Poverty.
Katie, aged 7, was tha only child of Mr. and Mra.
Jonta. One day, when tha new minister called, Katie
upon ber own invitation, went Into the parlor to en
tertaln htm until her mother came dowa stair. As
aha approached the parlor door, Mra. Jones heard the
minister ask Katie how many children her mother
had, and waa very much surprised te hear her Uttle
daughter reply "six.'
.Her mother wisely made ne comment upon tha
startling reply cf the child, but sent her out to play,
and wheu the minister's visit waa over aha asked Katie
why she had told him that her mother had six children
and was more dumfounded than ever when Katie
said: "Because, I did not want the atranga gentleman
to know that you were so poor that you didn't have
but one child "National Monthly
Lawyers Fit for J a dees.
CHADRON. Neb.. Feb. 27.-Tj the
Editor of The Bee: In Tho Bee you Bay:
Lawyers big enough for the highest
bench ought to have the. courage of
state-wide run." This la grossly unjust
many Industrious and able awyers
who happen to be situated west of Kear
ney. Their careful attention to their
business, which hae given them Ability
equal to any member of the aunrema
court, has prevented them the acquaint
ance necessary to obtain, without im
proper axpenae. the primary nomlna.
tlon; and Jn tha term "lawyers" I include
those very able and experienced Jurists,
Judges Weatover. Grimes and Hobart.
In spite of this, the Important questions
which are peculiar to our longitude en
title us to a consideration by men fa
miliar with tha elements which go to
make up that particular controversy.
There is no more reason why a man
charged with a crime shall be tried by
those familiar with moral conditions tn
his neighborhood than that an Irrigation
right involving the welfare of two or
three populoua counties filled with Irri
gators should be tried by a Judge or Jury
also familiar with those climatic and
other conditions.
Modesty forbids tba enumeration of
awyers equally experienced and equally
well informed with tha district Judges
named above who are located in almost
every county aeat west of tha tenth
meridian, so why bawl us but whose only
fault is that we prefer the simple life
and the healthful osone a few hundred
mllea away, rather than the highly stlm-
ilated atmosphere of our metropolis
w hteh you so Justly admtre? Tours
truly, ALLEN O. FISHER.
Salary ef the President.
TILDEN. Nab., Feb. IS. To the Editor
ot The Bee: What is the present salary
of the president ot the United States?
F. U PUTNT.
Ans: Seventy-five thousand dollars a
year and an allowance of 126,000 tor ex
penses.
Pee of Words.
SHERIDAN, Vyo.. Feb. .-To the
Editor of The Bee: Please pardon me for
referring' to two articles in your paper.
First, to thai "School teachers' quarrel
over the use of the word "was." My
opinion Is the statement, itself. Is Incor
rect. If It were a .single wtre that was
down for thirty thousand miles, "waa"
would be correct: but the probable fact was
that many wires were down, for H seems
incredible that only one wire waa referred
to. ' Therefore, the correct way to have
made the statement should have been:
"Tnirty thousand miles of wires were
down." And yet In this particular case
It was the wire that was down and not the
miies. inia quarrel reminds me of a
statement Robert Ingeraoll made when
he asked: "Why don't God' put the Devil
In hell r and some critic replied: "Prob
ably he would If he used as bad grammar
as Ingersolt did."
Second, in your Mondays issue Just
before me, In your first column, are these
words tn the headlines: "Fight Three
Hours witn Naked Bayonets." It nat
urally makes me ask If it Is the usual
custom to fight with "covered" bayonets?
'A little nonsense now and then ia
rallehed by the heat of men."
HORACE P. HOLMES, M. D.
fteroada tha Motlow.
SOUTH OMAHA. Neb.. Feb. STf.-To the
Editor of The Bee: With your kind per
mission I should like to endorse every
word written in this morning's Bee by
"Anurorce. J. O. BLESSING.
Washington Star; The enormous cost of
wsr is not accompany by conditions
which support the theory that anything
hlch puta money Into circulation is of
public benefit.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: "When peace
finally comes to Mexico I shall retire to
my ranch," says Villa. Let us hope that
e don't have to wait till his next in
carnation to taste the Joys of farming.
Boston Transcript: The firmness of tha
president, the patience of the president.
the historical knoweldiro of the president,
the clear mind of the president, are very
reasurtng qualities In a man w ho is presi
dent In a time of crisis.
Kansas City Ptar: Flfiy-five ungusrded
convicts from Leavenwirth prison gave a
minstrel performance in Leavenworth
and "returned to Jail with not a man
missing." They are to be congratulated
professionals frequently do not eet oft
so easily.
Indianapolis News: Placing i.OOO.ono
volunteers under training, according to
tha Army and Navy Journal, "would be
measure of peace," tut when one re-
alia that this ia Just the sort of measure
that Europe took previous to last August,
somehow one doesn't feel much confi
dence In It.
Baltimore American: Heroic deeds. In
dividual heroism and collective heroism,
hae been so much a matter of daily per
formance in the strife beyond the At
lantic that no demonetratlon of nervy
courage, however extraordinary, now ex
cites surprise. We Americans, as neutrals
and Impartlals. observe that the heroes
are plentiful in all the armies. There are
dare-devil go-the-llmlt Frenchmen, wln-or-lose-lt-elt
Teutons, die-ln-the-laat-dltch
Muscovites and go-down-w-lth-the-shlp
Britons. Heroes there are plenty but
the pity of It all.
People and Events
Senator Bailey Waggcner of Atchison.
a veteran legislator and attorney of
Kansas, aang hla swan aong In the leg
islature one dav last week. It was an
appeal for generous treatment for the
state orphan asylum at Atchison, aa in
stltutioa for which he has acted aa foster
father. Senator Waggoner's health te
very poor and it Is considered Improbable
that hla waning strength will permit
further public activities.
What haa been a puxale to laymen mora
than to lawyers In Philadelphia has sud
denly vanished from the courts. It has
been a common practice of minor courts
of equal Jurisdiction for one Judge to
revoke the sentence Imposed by. another
and pardon tha offender, The district at
torney stopped the practice with a high
court order which Infurmed the minor
courts tby did not possess the power of
pardon nor tha right te Intefera with the
sentences of another court. The ruling
cuts out a large slico ot political and
legal graft.
Around the Cities
Chicago's unemployed see a rift in
the clouds. Work has commenced on
the alte of tha new Union station.
Eventually it la estimated that K.one men
will be employed In the work of con
struction. New Tork City Is trying the experi
ment of closing certain short streets to
traffic and letting the children romp la
them. Hug signs are stretched across
these thoroughfares, reeding; "fctreet
closed tor play."
MIRTHFUL REMARKS.
"Tl-e new recruit is no gool," growled
the officer In charge.
"Whv?" oiieried tlie sergeant.
"Kverv time I rv Im't." he throws up
his hands snrt pleads lor me to spare
his life, even If 1 take everything he
has." Philadelphia Ledger.
Pklnum-I want to Interest you In a
mining proportion. It'a a good tmna.
Flubdub Perhaps It is; but I'm not.
Judge.
"The ynunr fellow who developed such
a new idea drove the wolf from his door,
didn't he?"
He did, only to find he had an ele
phant on his hands. "Baltimore Ameri
can. "Dldn' Buff Jackson tll yon dat mule
he traded to you is a pow'ful kicker?''
"He didn' 'sactly tell mo, but he tried
to be honest He th'owed In two bot
tles of liniment an' a crctch without no
extry charge. "Washington Star.
"Yes. I saw Chawlle Chippendale at
the front."
'"Good old Chawlie. I suppose he was
waving his sword in ta? sunlight and
shouting, 'Come on. lads, come on ' "
"Well, no. he wasn't, lie was waving
a spade and yelling 'Dir. you Tommies,
dtgl' "Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Doing any good?"
"Some," ssid the man who had been
ndlcted for grafting. "I've iold a con
fession to one magazine, a repudiation
of the confession to another, and now I'm
dickering with a third for a confirma
tion of the original expose." Louisville
Courier-Journal.
"Do you think you can support my
daughter in the style to which she haa
been accustomed?"
"I think so," replied the earnest young
man. "But maybe we'd better live with
you a few years so that I can find out
exactly what it's like." Washington Star.
"I've taken the most important step
toward building a fashionable apartment
house."
"Let the contract, have you?"
"No. I've selected a fancy name for
the building." Judge.
TO DAN CUPID-
Musings of a Cynic
A woman has no sense of humor, which
may explain why she sometimes takes a
man seriously.
Many a man claims to have the dearest
little wife in the world, when he really
means the cheapest.
Many a man deludes himself with the
Idea that he has the world at his feet,
only to have his foot slip.
Quantity doesn't always count. A llttl?
charity to the living Is worth a wagon-
load of flowers to the dead.
Friendship is essential to happiness.
Even the man who la his own best friend
can't get along very well without a few
others. New York. Times.
Tudor Jenks In Judge.
Dear Dan Where are you nowadays?
We used to like your sportive ways.
When with your darts and little bow
You took pot-hots at high and low:
We even took It In good part
Though now and then a flying dart
Struck stinging home. 'Twas pleasant
when
The tiny wound was healed again.
But now the arrows are so rare
That onco seemed flying everywhere!
Perhaps you nued today, my son,
A modern rapid-fire gun.
The times are changed. No longer slow
Our youth are never still, you know.
So If you'd add hearts to your string,
You'll have to hit thera on the wing!
But whether how or gini you wield.
We hone to' see you take the field.
For life Is rather dull and gray
Without you and your sportive play.
When you your mother Venus see.
With kindly words remember me;
And while this mortal lite endures,
I'll sign myself, sincerely yours.
Making the small merchant
a profitable customer
' " I have a list of merchants in 500
towns that are too small to send
salesmen to. Once or twice a
week I send each of these buyers
a Western Union Night Letter or
Day Letter quoting' a list of espe
cially attractive buys. This sales
scheme is developing one of the
most profitable markets we enjoy.
A SALES MANAGE.
THE WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH CO.
You can have your choice of either
a Boy's or Girl's Wheel
it is a famous
WORLD MOTOR BIKE
It has a 20-inch Frame
with Coaster Brake. Motor
Biko Handle Bars, Eagle
Diamond Saddle, Motor Bike
Pedals, Motor Bike Grip,
Luggage Carrier Holder,
Folding Stand, Front and
Rear Wheel Guards, Trus
Frame and Front Fork.
This picture ot the bicycle
will be in The Bee every day.
Cut them ail out and auk
your friends to save the pio
tures In their paper for you,
too. See bow ninny pictures
you ran get and bring them
to The Ilea office, Saturday,
March 6th.
The bicycle will be given
Free to the boy or girl that
send us the most pictures be
fore 4 p. tn., Saturday, March
Oth.
Subscribers can help the
children in the contest by
asking for picture certifi
cates when they pay their
subscription. We give a cer
tificate good for 100 pictures
for every dollar paid.
x Payments should be made
to our authorized carrier or
agent, or pent direct to us
by mail.
Some little boy or girl
will be happy next week
riding this Bicycle. Are
you the lucky one? You
have until 4 p. m.,
March 6 to try for it.