Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, February 25, 1915, Page 6, Image 6

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    Witt.
TJli: BEE: OMAHA, THURSDAY, FEBnUAKY 23, 191.1
THE OMAHA DAILY DEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSKWATKR.
VICTOR ROSEWATER. EDITOR.
Th Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
HEB BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH.
Entered at Omaha poetofflce aa second-class matter.
TERMS Or SUBSCRIPTION.
By carrier By mall
per month. per year.
illy n1 Ptmdar W t "
Tal!y without Hunday.... 6o 4 00
Evening and "undav V (no
Kvenlng without Sunday 4.00
Sunday Bra only I. Oil
Kernl not Ire of crer- of addrese or complaint of
Irregularity la delivery to Omaha Circulation
Department.
REMITTANCB.
Remit nr draft expreea or postal erder. Only two
cent stamp received In payment of amall aa
rounta. Versonal check, except oa Omaha and aaatarn
exchange, not accept? d.
omcES.
Omaha Tha Pea Bullrtin.
South Omaha 3iS N street.
CoHnrM Wuffs M North Main Street
Lincoln N Lltlla Building.
rhicairo 901 Hurnt Huildlns;
New York-Room 110S. Fifth avenue
St. Iil-WS New Bank of rimmrc.
Washington 7 Fourteenth Pt.. N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE).
Address communications relating to news end edi
torial matter to Omaha Bee. Mitorial Department.
JXSVAllX ORCUIiATIOJf.
53,714
Stat of Kahntaka, County of Dougtaa, ea.
DwlKht Will I urns, circulation manager of Tha Baa
Publishing company, being duly aworn, aaya that tha
average ciroulatloa for tha month of January, 131,
waa 7tl.
DW'IOtTT WtT,LIAM, Circulation Manager.
Buhaciioed my presence and aworn to before
m. thla M day of February. 19!S.
ROBERT HUNTER. Notary Public,
SubacrTbera leaving Um city temporarily
shonlil have Thai Bee mailed to Hum. Ad
dress will be changed as often as requested.
raaraary 88 i
Thought for the Day
5acf aaf by frmJsrich A Fmts
Tits man that kath no music in himself,
For is not tnowsd ay concord of awes! Bounds,
lsJU for treasons, stralagrms, and spoils;
Ths motions ot hit spirit art dull as night,
And his affections dark as Ertbut.
Let no such, man bs trusted.
Shakespeare.
r
Mayor Jim li foinj to hear from the Wo
man's club next.
Sea America first! Do It right by seeing
Omaha on tha way.
King Ak-Sar-Ben will be on the job In the
fall, and never mind tha weather.
Maybe a little Inquiry Into the efficiency of
that postoffice efficiency board woAild be in
order.
Soldlera hug the trenchea, sailors hug the
ahorea. Safety flrot la rooting around tha world
of war.-
That Omaha Indian aupply depot needa sav
ing now if It ever did; watch the progreaa of
the game.
After all, the New Mexican Jingo doea not
differ front Massachusetts and Alabama brands.
Mot air Is too cheap to be dangerous. ' '
k Down at Lincoln they are inclined to draw
pretty fine distinctions these days, especially aa
between "lobbyists" and pure patriot.
The supreme tent of law efficiency will .be
staged when electric light metera are com
manded to tell the truth In the monthly bills.
Some folks In Omaha are Inclined to think
the "efficiency" report wasn't altogether baaed
on what the inspectors found out at tk post-office.
The-kalser la following up his record In the
present war by making good on his talk about
establishing a submarine blockade In British
waters.
Many a fatal affray has taken place that
wouldn't if the parties to it hadn't been
"heeled." And thla applies to nations aa well
as to men.
That Omaha la a pretty good place to trade
Is fairly proven by the efforts of its commercial
rivals to place the Gate City tn aa unfavorable
situation as regards railroad rates.
The war on its eastern front is putting new
jawbreakihg namea on the map instead ot shoot
ing ear oft. Thla la not what was expected ot
either Von Illndenburg or Grand Duke Nicholas.
Considerable progress la being made by the
democrats at Washington In their attempt to
break all records for expenditure, and they may
be able to do so. Also, they will be busy for the
next few months explaining , why it waa necee
eary.
Word from Chryenna tell of tha accidental death
tii.-ra ot Captain Edwin Pollock, Ninth Infantry, well
known la Omaha, and only a few weeka ago retired
by a board amine In apoclal aaaalon In thla city.
Tha thaw haa act in convincing- peopta-tbat tha
Artie aevcrlty ef tba winter ta a thing erf tba part.
The Harney street lot tn tha rear of tha atore c f
t . b. Goodrich waa aold today far M.OuO ta 11. O.
tiark Co., who. It la aaid, will erect a four-
atory building on it for bualneaa purpoeea.
A apeclal moating ef tha Board of Trade coafrared
alto Sir. Chartaa EL Howe, a Boaton architect, rec
ommtttded by Chartea Fraaola Adams, an plana for
the proposed new bjildlng. The membership tea was
aieo r !'! ta rz. and U members applied for ad-
mlaton In ooneequenea of a eanraa that la being made.
J. S. Tebbetts ha been appointed dlvialon frets-lit
agent of taa t'n'tm Paajrtu with headquarter at fcalt
I-kkn uy.
r. u. Kimoau ana r. p. Bhelby, and Geneial
rriht Aft, Millar of tha D AM. have gone to
ffcinmo for a meeting of tha executive committee of
r.e -jrtinental committee.
.Mr. K. M. Hooper leta it he known that he may
b onau!l-d aa a clairvoyant and trance medium t
tha notliet coiner cf Kiev en th and Caa ai any
I nit .Hu 11 A. M. and 10 I. M.
The Hotel rontenclle.
Omaha will formally note the opening of the
aplendld new Hotel Fontenelle this evening, and
with that ceremonial will mark the beginning
of a new era In the city's life.
From the very beginning of things to the
preaent, a patriotism unquenchable has marked
the renldents of Omaha, to the end that every
trlslg has been met and every swell in the tide
has been turned to advantage. It was this uplrlt
that brought the I'nion Pacific terminals to
Omaha in the far past; it was this epirlt that led
to the fuller growth and development of the city
In the '80s; it was this rplrlt that, when the out
look was the darkest, financed and directed to
Its magnificent success the great Transmissls
ippl Exposition; it waa this spirit that built the
great live stock and packing Industry here, and
that Is making Omaha one of the great grain
marketa of the world; It waa this spirit that has
made the Omaha banks and wholesale houses,
factories and retail eMablishmentB, solid and re
liable institutions, and has given Omaha a stand
ing In which its citizens have justifiable pride.
When the tornado tore its way through a
beautiful residence district two years ago, wip
ing out many lives and scattering in bits hun
dreds of splendid homes, the spirit of Omaha
rose, and with the indomitable courage of Its
united citizenship, the city faced the crista and
came out of the wreckage fresh and fair, and
full of a new determination. And in that time
the Hotel Fontenelle was born. Omaha men of
means and public spirit have built this hotel as
an evidence of the Omaha spirit. It standa high
cn the bill top, where it typifies the soul of
Omaha, courageously determined on further
achievement.
To Mr. Burbank, the manager, and his as
sociate. The Bee again says, "You are welcome;
you will like Omaha, and as you share in the
prosperity of the city, you will be glad your lot
has been cast among us."
Taylor and the University.
The gentleman from Custer wants to do
something to the University of Nebraska that
will bring about the segregation of the College
of Agriculture from the other colleges ot the
Institution. His public expressions, in commit
tee and on the floor ot the house, have not been
very coherent, nor do they definitely state any
purpose, but he has aald enough to warrant the
conclusion that his desire la to divorce the study
of farming from the study of languages, litera
ture, mathematics and other forma of polite or
scientific learning.
If this be his purpose, Mr. Taylor Is working
along the wrong track. One ot the great ad
vantages of having the College of Agriculture
connected with the other schools of the Univer
sity of Nebraska Is that it permits the agricul
tural student to gain a wider knowledge and
broader grasp of other sciences than those which
pertain strictly and exclusively to farming. It
must be kept in mind, too, that farming today
consists of something more than the mere turn
ing over of the soil, planting of the seeds, culti
vation of the growing stalks and harvesting of
the crops. The properly equipped farmer is a
scientifically trained roan, versed in the science
of botany and its various branches, with a
knowledge of chemistry and a working grasp of
the fundamentals at; least 6f animal physiology
and anatomy; " Some of these! branches are-
taught at the agricultural school, but others
must be taken In connection with the general
university course. If the divorce that Mr. Tay
lor pleads for is granted it would necessitate
duplication of equipment, instructors and plant
to properly provide for the needs of the agricul
tural school. Other objections are obvious.
It is plain that the College of Agriculture
will suffer If it be segregated from the Univer
sity of Nebraska. The strongest argument pre
sented in favor of the consolidation of the great
university on a aingle campus, and one which
applies with aa much force today as ever, waa
that through, that consolidation the students of
agriculture would gain great advantage by rea
son of accessibility ot the other schools In which
they must take part ot their work. It would
be a grievous mistake to deprive these students
of their opportunity to acquire elementa of
broader culture which should properly accom
pany scientific instruction in farm methods.
Mr. Taylor'a xeal is misdirected.
The university administration has little
cause for apprehension so far aa an honest in
quiry Into Its details of management Is con
cerned, but It has cause to apprehend the effect
of making the university the subject of partisan
debate or division. Keep the university safely
out ot politics, and It wiil prosper in spite of
material obstacles. -
Serbian Ambitions
Aeaoelated rreaa Oorraapoadaaaa. '
The Railroad Campaign for Higher Bates.
The Nebraska Railway commission calls at
tention to the condition that baa developed In
connection with the railroad campaign for in
creased passenger and freight tariffs. It is that
commercial clubs and similar organizations are
being persuaded by the' railroads to paaa reso
lutions' making requests ot the railway com
missioners that the asked for Increases be
granted. The danger in this lies tn the ex parte
presentation of the plea. The Nebraska com
missioners direct attention to the fact that the
commissions of fifteen states are now acting
together to give calm and careful consideration
to the railroad' petitions, and will be thereby
better enabled to determine if the advance in
rates Is justified For thla reason It Is sug
gested that organized bodies of railroad patrons
exercUe a little prudence in connection with the
manifest effort of the railroads to enlist public
sympathy for their cause.
Eastern newspapers are wasting valuable
space In publishing the text of the "declaration
ot London" governing naval warfare, and ap
proved by warring and neutral powers. It ia
one ot "scraps of paper" shot to ptecea by the
war, and Is beyond hope of resurrection by news
paper pulmotors.
Nieit, Serbia, normally a town of some iJi.ono. ha
been transformed by tha war Into a city of
more than lon.ooo soula. The atrangcr within tha
city galea wondr-re where all tha people een on tlx
street sleep at night. Tha email public park, as well
as tha two principal chopping atreeta. are aa crowded
during the daylight hpurs aa Broadway and Fifth
avenue on a late afternoon. The problem of carina
for the thousand who fled here from Belgrade and
the northern eommunltlea of the country when war
wa declared has been a difficult one.
Kvery house with vacant room a waa comman
deered by the government, but even thla action failed
to provide shelter for hundreds of fugitive from th
battle dlatticta. In the dilemma In which the Serbian
people found themaelvrs the American Ked Croea mis
sion came aa a veritable Oodaend. Everywhere tha
Asaoriatad Preia correspondent has traveled he has
noountered evidence of good work done by American
citizens and has everywhere found gra-tful apprecia
tion on the part of the Serbian people. Thla apprecia
tion waa officially expressed by M. Mlloah Petronle
vltch, one of the administrators of the diplomatics
pre bureau, who speaks Englleh perfectly.
"Our conetltutlon," said M. Petronlevttchk "and all
of our institution are really modeled from those of
tha Vnlted States of America, and some day wa hope
to be really an American state here at the end of
Europe and the beginning; of Asia. That, as well aa
the sympathy and aid for our wounded aent ua by
the American Red Croas during all three of our re
cent ware, account for the very warm welcome we
hall always give to any American who cares to coma
out and study us at closer range.
"We are riot ao hoepltable to all foreigner. Serbia
la more accustomed to having enemlea than friend.
From tha time tha Herblan empire came under tha
Turks In tha fourteenth century, until it liberation in
the early part 'of the nineteenth century, Serbia waa
cut off as a state from all the rest of the world. Her
Turkish tyrant had hut one idea, to destroy the soul
of the race, the memory of it glorlou and marital
past, of Ua aristocratic tradltlona and of its racial
unity with the other Slav peoples. It chivalry per
ished in the great battle of Koasova in V9. Koeaov
la a vast plain about 100 mllea eouthweat of Nlsh,
where the battle of Turkish conquest between the
foroe of Sultan Murad I and the Rerbian emperor
Tracer waa fought In the fourteenth century. This
great battle ended with the. complete overthrow of
tha Serbian empire and the 600-year domination of
the whole ot southwest Europe by the Turks. This
domination Included ell the people now comprising
tha Balkan statea. All ef the sons of the noble Serbian
families were carried off tn Constantinople to form
the famous guard of the Janissaries. They were reared
In complete ignorance of their parentage, and with
but one Ideal, the sultan. A certain number of the
great Serbian families escaped Into Russia, Austria
and Montenegro. From thee and subsequent emigra
tion a have aprung the members of the race who are
today outalde the kingdom of Serbia, Boanla. Herxe
govlna and DaJmetls, are Integrally a part of the
kingdom, though detached from It by European poli
tics at the congr' of Berlin."
Mr. Petronlevltch pointed to a large map which
bung in hi office, ahowing tha ancient confine ot
the Serbian empire, aa well aa the marginal Una ot
the frontiers of that Oreater .Serbia, the creation ot
which Is tn some quarter regarded aa the cause of
the war. Be this aa It may, it will certainly be one
of tha moat Important changes In the map of Europe
If Serbia and Its powerful allies are successful against
the German and tha Aflstrlans.
"You can see," continued Mr. Petronlevltch, "how
difficult haa been the position of Serbia, with the
Turks, on. the one hand, longing to conquer what
they had lost; the Auatrlana, on the other hand,
urged by the German, whose own expansion could
only take place by pushing the Auatrlana Into posses
sion of all the Slav kingdoms of the Balkans, thua
leaving free the German province of Austria for
Germany! There la no doubt In our mind that Ger
many has had the Idea of absorbing the dual mon
archy of Austria-Hungary, thus dreaming of a king
dom extending .from the shores of the- North sea to
tha Atan, at Salonika, the aloephorus and the Sea f
Mamoia at Constantinople, and reaching eut to a
supreme control of the Mediterranean and even tha
Black sea. No one who haa not lived am the shore
of the Danube has any real conception of -the fanatic
ism with which Austria haa worked to achieve thla
end, nor of the designing care with which Germany
has ever promoted it design. A part of the plan
alwaye haa been to keep the state of the Balkans
from any federation or cohesion among themselves.
This might have been more difficult had not several
of the states had German princes for rulers. Serbia
and Montenegro, you know, wlthi the exception of
Italy, are the ouly state of Europe that have rulers
of their own blood and faith.
"Bulgaria, rtoaely allied to Serbia In feudal times
and whoee liberation from Turkey, -waa effected by
Russia, haa ever been tha working ground of that
Austro-German diplomacy which has been so active
at Constantinople. Tba Bulgarian war pf'last year,
aa welt aa Turkey's participation In the present war,
was the outcome of this diplomacy and Intrigue.
Servla haa been wiser than Bulgaria or Turkey. We
have not been any too fond of atrangers. Too many
of those who have come In the gulae of fnlend have
turned out .to be Austrian aplea. There never wa i
country so beset by aplea and mischief makers of all
kinds as Serbia has been during the laat fifteen years,
or ilnce the German emperor made up hla mind that
a European war would be the only means of acquiring
new territory for Germany.
"Serbia la trying to demonstrate to the whole
world that its civilisation Is on as high a plane n
that of ' England and America, even tnough It re
sources and facilities are not greater than those of
eome of the American statea 100 year ago. It wa the
history of the American Revolutionary war, read by
Kara George, grandfather of our present king, which
Inspired him with a deal re to lead hla people in the
uprising against the Turks tn 1S04 "
Twice Told Tales
.
Senator Fall of New Mexico aaya General
Villa could "take the United States In two
fweeka." Evidently the senator haa not heard
what happeued-to the Mexicans who tried to
."shoot tip" a strip of Nebraska last week.
If the Jingoea have their way. Uncle Sam
ill soon bristle with guns and other weapons:
but the old gentl man will do ery well without
too ninth ot thes-e v.arike trimmings.
1
Mlaplaceal AaBatratloa.
The late W. W. Rockhlll. who" died In, Honolulu,
had a deep and Intelligent knowledge of the Chinee.
"Wa Americana." Mr. Rockhlll once aaid in New
Tork, "don't underatand the Chineee. W misread
them a a visiting Chinaman once misread an accident
in Broadway.
"As this Chinaman was passing beneath a huge
electric algn on which a man wa at work, the man
lipped and fell on the Chinaman' head.
" 'Wall, well,' aald the Chinaman to himaelf, ad
miringly, as he roae from the pavement; well well,
how will theaa wonderful Americana advertise nextT'
St. Lou la Olobe-Democrat
Carauea.
Mme. Calve, the (unoui Carman, aaid. aa alia aped
under aaure skiea and blight, warm aunahlne over the
blue Mediterranean toward snow and tee and New
York opera:
"There's a atory that Illustrates the spirit of Car
men. If you keep thla atory In mind you won't go far
wrong in playing the part It a atory about a
beautiful, wild. Cexmenllke girl, whose huaband aaid
to her on their wedding day:
" 'Now I've married you. and remember thla tha
first time you deceive me, I'll kill you.'
"The girl blew a cloud ef cigarette smoke into her
husband' face, laughed caraleaaly. and said:
" 'And tha second time I deceive you. what will
you do then.' deerr "New Tork Times.
Theerr amd Practice.
During a school Ua a' kindly lady sat regarding
ona of the young guest with evident alarm, t'ndla
mayed by the lady's giancaa the young hopeful de
molished plate after plate of bread and butter and
rake. At laat tha lady could stand It no longer. Going
up to the urchin ah aald:
"My boy, have you never read any book which
would tali you what to eat. what to drink, and what
to avoid?"
"Why. Nesa you. ma'am." replied the young gen
tleman, wllh hla mouth full of cake. "I eata all 1
Van. i drink all I can an' I avoid buattn'." London
via
ae rpad(llT fas' awl ef
Jest eeaeaaaatlew ay edttea
Try It.
KOl'TH OMAHA, Feb. 21 -To the Edi
tor of The Bee. Should like to answer
1. W. W. on annexation In thla morning's
Bee. but 1 am afraid anyone opposed to
annexation cannot get a hearing through
the Omaha pener. In the first place,
this man la afraid to algn hi nam. If
he had of told tha truth he had nothing
to fear by hla algnature. Hays we have
no Improvement. I aay there Is not a
city the slse of South Omaha that can
how a better rerorU in the United State.
Another person says: If annexed we
would get all kind of high school and
factory improvements; this I also say,
wa have now. put up by the tax payers
of the Magic City and beat in the world,
nnd a new tannery; also aa for tha ef
ficiency of our offices Omaha can show
us nothing. J. 9. BL.E6SIKG.
t till Water Power.
NORTH LOUP. Neb., Feb. 18. To the
Editor of The Bee: Suppose the present
legislature adjourns, not having passed
a few measures demanded by the people.
Their prospects -as future officeholders
will be materially lessened. The power
ful lobble want adjournment In hope ot
defeating those measures. Various men
of the office-holding clase have been
urging that water power legislation I
uncertain, speculative and theoretical.
This writer Is not the first to advance
the Issue. Thomas A. Edison say:
"In perhaps fifteen or twenty years
depending on the financial condition of
the country the locomotive will pass
altogether out of use, and all our main
trunk railways will be operated by elec
tricity. "A new fertilizer will spring Into ex
istence, containing a large percentage ot
nitrogen. This will be drawn from the
air by electricity and will be used to In
crease the arablllty of the land. Even
now this la done to a large extent In.
Sweden (by government ownership).
"All our water power will be utilised
by electricity to an extent now almost
unthought of and will be used with great
advantage, both industrially and for
railroads."
Twenty"-flve quotations from statesmen
and scientists of the standing of Edison
may be produced in strong support of
water power. The object Is to keep down
legislation In order to monopolise the
country's resources. We have the rivers
with the power, there Is no question, but
can we turn the power to electricity by
proper methods of engineering? The
proper way to find what may be done
la to spproprlate tlOO.000 and appoint a
competent man to do the necessary work
by which to find the engineering faets.
If the matter is placed with tha Board
of Irrigation, see that the state engineer
Is In sympathy with the public demands.
To do anything less will mean failure.
General Grant dlacharged some good
lieutenant, not for what they did. but
for what they failed to do. This legisla
ture ahould not adjourn unUI these mat
ters are fully adjusted. Opposition comes
from the lobbies.
WALTER JOHNSON.
Railroad and the People.
SILVER CREEK, Neb., Feb. 22. To
the Editor of The Bee: I -wish nubiici
to expreis my unqualified approval of
your editorial In The Bee of this datte
on "The Railroads and the Public." and
In so doing 1 am sure that I am quite in
accord with publio sentiment generally
at leaat in the state of Nebraska.
You say: "If the railroads had always
pursued the policy which Is now being
adopted and had treated the public with
the frankness that has finally been forced
upon them, there la no doubt they would
have been met with equal frankness and
fair treatment."
That is true. The people would alwaye
have been fair to the railroad, if the
railroads had been fair to the people;
but, as you say, they took an opposite
course. Their purpose was "to exact all
the traffic would bear." t e., to skin the
people toxfue limit, and for more than a
veneration they bevy been doing It to
the queen's taste. About a year before
our legislature reduced passenger fares
to two cents per mile, as I now remember.
1 wrote Gen. Charles F. Manderson, then
general solicitor ot the B. V M. railroad
company, proposing to hlro that ha ahould
oae Jil Influence to have the railroad
agree together on an anti-pass bill to
present to the next legislature, and of
their own accord to reduce fares to two
and one-half cents per mile, assuring
him that if the rallroada would do ao,
and trust the people to do the right
thing by them, they would have no
further cause of complaint; but. that If
they would not they might expect farea
to be reduced to two centa per mil. Gen
eral Manduraon wrote me back a nice
letter, which I have today, but there was
"nothing doing," and the war went on.
And now whan .they find themselves de
feated and crushed throughout the whole
United Statea they eome to us (the
"people") with soft, pleading words and
winning smile, streaked with croco
dile tear, and ask us to now give them
ef our substance since they are no longer
able to rob ua of It. Welt maybe the
people will consent to do It. but. In my
opinion, the railroads will not find them
o comolacent aa a'dosen railroad pres
ident lately found the president of the
United States, who. notwithstanding his
pre-election utterances against trust,
and all that, had not been long In office
before he went over to Wall Street and
tha corporation "body and breeche."
I apoko of "crocodile tear." Take no
tice then that at thla very minute, while
the rallroada are apending aoine hundreda
of thouaanda of dollara. they have
wrongfully taken from the pocketa or
the farmers, la paying for newapaper
article to make the farmers aee that
they ought to conaent to atill further
robbery, the Union Pacific railroad com
pany la reaorUng to every means
In Ita power to take from farmers
In Nebraska. Kaheaa, Colorado and
Wyoming rauliona of acrea of land
worth perhapa on an average, $100 per
acre, that they have been farming for
more than a generation, and which tha
company claim aa a part of Ita right-of-way,
but w hich It haa not uaed and from
the nature of the caae, never could ae.
la the legitimate operation of ita road!
If tha people of Nebraska were per!
milted to vol on the question, outside
of those under the Immediate control of
the rallroada, not ona in one hundred
would vote to give the rallroada an In-"
crease In rate.
Tha people can eaaily aee through I hi
thin railroad veneering of honeaty and
fair dealing, which would Inatantiv n.i
j ff If they ahould succeed In their present
purpose or securing aa incraaaa la rate.
CHARLES WOOSTER.
Editorial Shrapnel
Houston Post: The war cost the allies
just $10,000,000,000 this year, not to men
tion the loss due to deaths, suffering and
non-production. It's a great old drunk
that will leave a headache for many a
year.
Ft. Louis Globe-Democrat: Carranxa's
arrest of 10 priests after their failure to
pay a ransom of 500,000 pesos furnishes
another Indication that he la not In the
revolution buslnes on the advice of his
physician.
- Wall Ftreet Journal: Wonderful how
the local authorities csn solve the wheat
problem primarily connected with mil
lions of acres of land In the west and
are unable to solve financial problems
right under their eyes.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: England re
ports a new howitzer that cast be heard
twenty miles away. One cannot resist
the sweetly solemn thought that this new
piece of ordnance can maybe be hearl
almost as far as Tlpperary.
GRINS AXD OEOASfS.
"Pa. I was the most popular boy in
our clase."
Did you pass?
"No. That'll lust the reason. The
teacher liked me so well that she de
cided to keep me in her room for an
other term." Detroit Free Press.
'You approve of your' wife's public
speaking?"
Yea. ' replied Mr. Meeaton. 1 o
rather ah told her views about eco
nomies and sociology to the throng than
1 1
hare her handing them out te we as little
bedtime stories. ,r
"Ah, KHHr!" saluted the villa- bore.
"What are you doing fr your rheuma
tism theae days?"
Examining the doctors one after an
other," snarled the old codger, "to see
how much they don't know!' Judge.
THE PARAGON.
He never made his mother any trouble.
Never waded In tha water or the slush.
Never swiped his mother's Jam or cake or
Jatlv.
Never grumbled when she fed him milk
mid mush.
Ha never hooked a ride behind a wagon,
Never punched a sneering bully la the
noae;
Never crossed the street before a speed
ing auto.
And he never almost never tore Ms
elothee.
He never caused hie teacher eny trouble,
Never tampered with a pin when It wae
bent.
Never threw a single epit-fcall at the
celling.
Never used the phrase, "I wish I hadn't
went."
He never, never, never broke a window.
Never put explosive substance In his
Ink,
Nor, even when the teacher wssn't look
ing, Did be ever give a pretty girl a wink.
He never mad his neighbor any trouble,
Alwaya aeemed to be afraid he'd put
them out.
Never raising a stir by citing an opinion.
And no one elee's ever dared to doubt.
Now you'll think hi path was, maybe
strewn with rosea
No the fact Is he was met with much
abuse
For the boy who hasn't spunk to make
some trouble.
Is too bloomtn' good for any earthly
use. Omaha. BATOLL NB TRELLE.
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