Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, January 24, 1915, EDITORIAL SOCIETY, Page 4-B, Image 14

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TUB OMAHA SUNDAY 11KK: JANUARY 2J. J913.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD .ROSK WATER.
VICTOR ROSKWATKR. KDITOR.
Tho Bp Publishing Compsny, Proprietor.
r.EB BUILDING. FA UNA M AND EKVENTfTCNTH.
fintered t Omaha postofflce aa eecond-tiass matter. .
Fy mall
per year.
, 4 00
too
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. 2.00
TERMS OK SUBSCRIPTION.
Hjr carrier
per month.
Tally anil Sunday ...
Iaily without Sunday....'
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Send notice or cnange or iari or roimiminn , i
Irregularity In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation ,
Department. 1
REMITTANCE. j
Hem.lt by draft express or postal order. Only two- l
rent postage stamps received In payment of email ac- i
counts Personal cheeks, except on Omaha and eaatern
exchange, not accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha The Pee ftulldlng.
Houlh Omaha OTS N street.
Counrll Hluffs 14 North Main street.
Lincoln M Little Hulldlna.
fhlcaao m Hearst HuHdlng.
New York Room lion, 2X8 Fifth avenue.
Pt. Iouls-KB New Hank of Commerce.
Waahliaton 7X Fourteenth Ht.. N. W.
CORnEPPONDF.NC15.
Address communications relating to new and edi
torial matter to Omaha Bee, F.dltorlal Department.
DKI K.H1U H bl'Mi.W CIRCLLATlOX.
45,029
Btata of Nebraska, County of Douglas, .
Dwtght Williams, circulation manager of The
Flee Publishing company, being duly sworn. Bays
that the averare Buwlay circulation for the inoiitli
Of Iiernnbir, 1&I4, was 4'. 0211.
DWIOTIT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before
me, this 2d dav of January, 191ft.
KOBERT HUNTER. Notary Public.
Subscribe ra leaving the city temporarily
ahould have The He mailed to them. Ail
dress will be changed aa often m reqneated.
Jaanary B4
Thought for the Dav
5.'cf by Daniml L. Johnson
In men whom nuin condemn at ill,
J And to much of gxtdnett ttill;
In menvchom mn pronounce divine,
J And to much of tin and blot
I huilale to draw the lint
Between the two, whert Qod hat not.
Tip to the patronage hunters: Don't overlook:
the White House baby.
Only six weeks more of this congress on
President Wilson's hands.
' The array appropriation bill carries $300,000
for airships. An air fleet comes high.
It Is the weather man who gives the word
of command for the enow-shovel brigade.
Remember,' too, that all the money to bo
made In Omaha real estate 'has not yet been
made.
Suitable timber for chief Justice of our
supreme court does not grow on every bush In
Nebraska.
A year's gain of $76,000,000 In the total
1 uslne ot five meat packing companies disposes
of the charge that the retailers got ail the money.
With the. submarine below and the air craft
above, the battleship nowadays runs an 'awful
ri"k of getting In between fires.
Note the difference: in olden days the only
snow that was promptly removed from the
streets was the snow that fell just before a pri
mary or an election.
Notwithstanding the outcry against those
shocking transparent skirts, It's dollars to dough
nuts tliut the non-transparency decree ot the
fashion censors will not arouse any great amount
of popular enthusiasm.
The returns on police Judge tallied exactly
with the recount in Just -six voting' districts
Election Commissioner Moorhcad ought to estab
lltsh something like-the Order of tne Iron Cross
for Judges and clerks passing the test of count
ing right -Jl
Corn si Food.
Spodins a brigade of cooks to Europe to
loach the natives there to eat corn is only re
newing an experiment tried in times of peace.
"Corn Cake" Murphy gained Immortal note by
Ma efforts tilong this line, while Clark E. Carr
and later Maurlre Egan did much to give tho
Europeans a notion of the delights of corn as
a comestible. These apostles of a new gas
tronomy for the people of Europe met with tho
cbslacle that has so far proved insurmountable.
Prince and peasant alike associate corn with
stork feed, and therefore decline it, even when
presented In Its ruoKt attractive form. It is Laid
to overturn age-old traditions In the matter of
meat and drink.
Hut corn is really a food for the gods; In
nutritive value It 1b but little behind whole wheat
flour, containing within G per cent as much
carbohydrates and within 3 per cent as much
protein. Much of tho food value of wheat Is
Facrlficed In preparation of flour, to the end that
our dainty appetites may be piqued by the snowy
whiteness of the bread. Thus bulk for bulk,
good corn bread In quite as nutritive as Is the
wheaten loaf. When it comes to appearance,
h plate of "Johnny cake" surely can not be less
inviting in appearance than a platter heaped
with "kartofel brod.'.' So much for the looks of
the. comestible.
Many ways of cooking corn are known, but
tho simplest are the better. A sturdy race of
pioneers throve on mush and milk and corn pone
and hoo cake. Civilization and luxury have led
the children of these pioneers to look with dis
dain on corn, and to prefer to secure its great
health-giving properties through other mediums.
We have been taking our corn by wny of pork
and beef. Now, that this process is becoming
really expensive, wouldn't It be a good idea to
educate American as well as European taste, to
the end that a wider usefulness be found for the
unquestioned king of American crops? If corn
Is restored to Its proper place as an American
food, It will help solve the cost and increase the
Joy of living.
Welcome Sign of the Times.
The announcement that the Burlington pro
poses to build the long-mooted Guernsey cut
off takes on added importance under existing cir
cumstances. The Investment by a great railroad
system ot $1,000,000 is not usually subject for
extended comment, but at this moment it my
be accepted as a pointer on the attitude of the
railroads. It is a part of the revival of business,
so manifest In other ways, and welcome.be
couso it Is an extension of enterprise. Omaha's
Interest in the project Is the more immediate,
because it means an expansion of Omaha's trade
territory, making more accessible an extenslvo
area ot fertile and productive country, the out
put of which naturally seeks the Omaha market,
and the supplies for which are furnished from
here. It Is a good sign of renewed activity to
the west
ay TIOTOB BOIlWaTra.
People and Events
Immigration .reetrictionlsts demand the lit
eracy test merely because It Is in the direction
of closing the door against Immigrant newcom
ers. But nothing but closing the door tight
against all foreign born, whether educated or un
educated, will satisfy them completely.
The City University.
Dr. Dabney quite naturally is an enthusiastic
advocate ot the "Cincinnati plan," of providing
university training in each city for the use ot
those who want to pursue their studios beyond
the high school course. Ills idea la to make It
aa easy and Inexpensive as possible to obtain
tba higher education. Other educators ot muca
experience, and who speak with some authority,
take the view that an education too easily had
Is not likely to be properly valued, for the reason
that value Is Instinctively associated with cost.
And somewhere between the two views will be
found the ground that has been adopted In Ne
braska. , '
Nebraska's plan, which may be called good
when Judged by its results, provides training at
expense of the state from kindergarten to th
degree of doctor of philosophy. It has worked
well, and baa permitted the ambitious youth of
the state to obtain educational training at very
little cost That all who start are not ap
preciative of the advantages nor desirous of
fully realitlng them, is proven by the number
who enter but do not finish in either high school
or university. Hundreds do avail themselves of
the opportunity, working their way along, that
they may support themselves while at school.
This is true not only of the' state-supported
chools, but applies to the sectarian or privately
endowed schools of the state. Nowhere does
"Knowledge her ample page, rich with the spoils
ot time," more freely unfold It than In Nebraska,.
The problem of popular education Is not yet
- solved, however; It is too big to be settled off
Land, nor Is it likely that one man's views will
ultimately prevail. Just as present Its more press
lag and vital phase i that uf vocational traininr.
and it will be along this line that the next great
ktc'l) In the march of education ail! iuott llkciy
be taken.
"Roman oe of Nebraska's History."
John Loe Webster may be an enthusiast on
the topic, but the story of Nebraska glows in
lovely tints under the light of his eloquence. The
history ot Nebraska really is tinged with ro
mance; its life has been full ot stirring advou
ture, salient episode and thrilling endeavor, and
these Mr. Webster has modestly called to the ,
attention of the people, who are too busy in
their dally round of making further history to
give a great deal of attention to the past. It la
good that we should be reminded from tlmevto
time ot the struggles and the triumphs of the
pioneers, for In them is' found a constant
source of inspiration to greater endeavor for
the Intellectual, spiritual and material upbuild
ing of the state.
Nebraska has had its' truly great men, who
gave freely of their best capabilities to .he
service of the state and its people. The present
ia too close to get the proper perspective on these
men and their work, so that we cannot fully
appreciate the actual importance of their
achievements, but their names are set down
ImperlBhably I p. the annals ot the state and the
nation, and in time they may come to a fuller
recognition ot their true worth. Mr. Webster
named but three ot a list that can Justly bo
greatly lengthened, but the three are typical In
themselves of the spirit of the Nebraska pio
neer, out of who.se toilsome labors has arisen a
commonwealth ot such importance as is not
rightly understood, even bv Its own citizens.
Mr. Webster suggests quite pertinently that
attention should at ouoe be given to prepara
tions tor the celebration in 1917 of the fiftieth
anniversary of Nebraska's admission as a state.
This event ought not to pass without fitting
recognition by the people. His request tor a
building for the State Historical society should
wait on the comprehensive plan for a state civic
center, aa suggested by The Bee.
Revision of the Boai Laws.
So many bills for amendments to existing
road laws, most of them dealing with district
overseers, havje been Introduced at Lincoln, that
it seems a general revision ot the Nebraska
statutes under that beading Is required. Ne
braska has good roads, but it ought to have bet
ter. The need for the better organization of tho
highway department or the state's housekeeping
l apparent; closer co-ordination ot effort should
be provided for, to the end that better results
may be achieved. One bill now pending has for
Its object the vesting control of roads In a county
overseer, thus centralizing to a greater extent
the responsibility for the care of the county
roads.
This is a move in the right line, but scarcely
goes far enough. A comprehensive plan for road
construction and maintenance, carefully carried
out under responsible authority, Is the ultimate
solution for the highway rroblem In Nebraska.
The legislature could easily do worse than to re
vise the Nebruska road laws, to the end that
proper highway development may be made certain.
Few specimens of Turkibh humor travel on
the American circuit to afford a measure of its
merit. But tho action uf the Mokm war censor
in requiring the EuglUti publisher of an English
weekly at Constantinople to fill his paper wiih
glowing accounts of the victories of followers of
the prophet, goes to show that Turkish huni r
carries the makings ot a smile.
1F1ND that this peraonal column of mine la being
read more widely than I anticipated, if the number
of those who In conversation with me make reference
to It or ask questions about something I have said,
affords any fair lest, ft Is natural that such mani
festation of Interest temHs mo to keep nt It, but If
I overtax patience, I trust my frlenda will let nio.
know or call a bait.
Specially to the point bave been several reminders
from out of town. Whi'.e perhapa not Intended for
publication, I take the liberty of printing a letter Just
received from Major E. C. Hardy, for many yeaia
associated with my father aa his chief editorial writer,
and now spending Ills advanced years In retirement
In Chicago. This Is what Major Hardy writes:
"I waht to tell you of the treat gratification I
derived from reading. In your 'Views, Reviews and
Interviews,' the extract from your father's diary
relative to the unveiling of the Perry monument In
Cleveland September 1, 1. I waa there. Had
Juet started aa a reporter on the Leader and of
course waa an active and Keen observer of what
was going on. Some of this tho quotation from
tho diary brings vividly to memory. It was a some
what Inclement day, as I recall, rather gloomy and
chilly, but this did pot Interfere In the least with
tho popular enjoyment of the historic occasion, as
graphically related by your father. I particularly
romember Governor Hprague of Rhode Island and
the fine military company he brought with him.
accompanied by the then famous Dodaworth band
of New Tork. Fpragua a small map physically,
but reputed very wealthy, aa In fuct he was and
his entotirngo attracted more attention than any
other feature In the celebration. If I nm not mis
taken. It was on this occasion that Fprague first
met Kate Chase, tho ' handsome and brilliant
daughter of the distinguished statesman, Bnlmon
P. Chase. She became Mrs. Fpragne and their
domeatlo life was marred by troubles that led to
estrangement. The mock battle on Lake Erie,
briefly referred to by your father, was somewhat
of a farce, but- the people enjoyed It. It was In
deed a great occasion for Cleveland and it Is easy
to. understand that It made a strong Impression
upon young Edward Itosewater, as Indicated by
his extended reference to It In his diary.
"Well, I feel that I must tell you of the pleasure
the reading of the extract gave me and I trust I
have not bored you In doing so. The recalling of
long paat events In which one shared affords
gratification which In later years you will ap
preciate mors than you can at present."
Ppeaklng f Major Hardy, or "Old Man Hardy."
aa we used to call Mm, this letter Is In the same
beautiful copper-plate handwriting that distinguished
hia copy when he first started to turn It In on The
Bee nearly thirty years ago, and aa I have no doubt
It waa before that when he furnished copy for tlu
Cleveland newspapers. In my day, I have handled
all sort of manuscript, but I have never known a
man who could write so -evenly and regularly an
Major JIardy. I could tell to exact precision Just
how many words an article of his contained by sim
ply counting the pages. I have nover corns In eon
tact with any one else of whom I could say the same.
This "antl-tlpnlng" bill Introduced at Lincoln by
soma thrifty rural lawmaker recalls a little experience
I had last winter while traveling with. Mrs. Rose
water In the south. We stopped over at Oulfport,
Mias , and soon made the discovery through placards
In the hotel room, and Inscriptions on the menu
cards, that an antl-tlpptng law graces the statutes of
MIsalBslppl threatening a lot) fine upon one who gives,
offers, solicits or receives a "tip" for performing any
service about a hotel or other public place. We had
arrived lata In the evening, and having had a real
dinner at noon ordered a very light supper, for which
the bill footed exactly S3.
"Now. I'll see whether this antl-tlpptng law is alive
or dead," I exclaimed as I handed tne waiter a ?5
note. "If be brings my money In even dollars,, it will
mean no tip, but If he returns It In small change, It
will be an Insidious Invitation."
Tho colored waiter was back In a moment with a
tray full, of nickels dimes and quarter."
"I wonder what would happen to us." saJd I "If I
ahould forget to carry off some of these coins."
And the amlle that lit up the Benegamblan face was
all the re-assurance needed.
"Toil guessed light,", remarked Mrs. Rosewater,
later.
But on a par with Mississippi's antl-tipping law is
our Nebraska law prohibiting the sale of cigarettes.
If there was ever any serious attempt anywhere to en
force that law, I have never heard of it When Sec
retary of War Garrison was here about a year ago,
I waa on the reception com ml tee and as we were com
ing out of one of the big office buildings not The Bee
building to us who were , serving as his escort he
seemed suddenly to disappear. I went back and found
the secretary in front of a cigar stand. ' i
"We feared we had lost you. Mr. Secretary. "
"Oh," said he, "T Just wanted a package of cljar
ettes and, seeing this place. Just dropped back to buy
them."
"Well, then," I remarked. Jokingly, "you have
helped break one of Nebraska's most solemn laws."
"How's that?" qulzslcally.
"Why," I answered, "our lawmakers have strictly
prohibited the Sale uf cigarettes to man, woman or
child In the state of Nebraska."
"That explains It," was his retort: "l thought the
girl looked at me rather critically when I called for
cigarettes, but she reached out the package without
asking any 'questions."
That Is just one shining example ot the results of
freak legislation. I am wondering whether our law
makers will this time screw up courage and conscience
enough to repeal a fake antl-clgarette law that only
breeds law defiance.
The recall of young Mr. Cutrtght from nls consular
post for foolishly writing a letter recalls a story re
inforcing the moraj. This story, as I heard It, goea
back to the good old days when "Church" Howe and
"Tom" Majors were fighting out their political feud
In Nemaha county, and some compromising letter
which "Tom" had written had been turned up, on
which "Church was expatiating before a school bouse
audience.
"Never write a letter," exclaimed Major Howe.
"Why, I'd rather travel a thousand miles than write
a letter." '
"That's right. Church." came a voice from a far
corner. "It costs two cents to write a tetter, and you
can travel on a pass."
The Omaha Glee club has arranged for the assist
ance of the Chicago Madrigal club for Its forthcom
ing grand concert next month.
Mr. C. II. Iewey l back from New Orliana. '
Superintendent and Mrs. I. M. Pierce of the poor
farm entertained a number of their friends in their
usual happy manner.
Councilman P. Ford announces that he haa fitted
up elegant aample rooms at 416 Tenth, between Ha.--ney
and Howard, open to the public title evening a
fine style, and extending an Invitation to alt.
August Weiss, agrnt of the Hamburg German
American line, has received notice of a still further
rate cut, so that ths price of paaaage has been re
duced from Omaha to Hamburg. Bremen and Havre
to lataS, as the result of the rate war.
Mr. and ('Mrs. P. H. Sharp are aadly afflicted by
the death of their youngest son. Joseph 8. Sharp,
aged 3 yea i a
The T and F cluo held Ita first imvlmg lest night
at the beautiful new residence of Dr. Jensen, coiner
i:tt.-titeenih and Leavenworth streets. The program
was prwnted by Mrs 8. P. Xtorse, Mr. K. B. Chap
man. Mis Hot art of New York, Mrs. 11. Marony and
Mm Janus Ma: tin.
Thrirty people who are doing their holi
day shopping now are getting the worth
if their money all risht.
I'urlng the Isst year the carriage fac
tories of this country turned out 9".0i
hprse vehicles, worth $.Vt,0W,V). Carry
that news to auto row.
Hevcni days to ground hog day. Whether
siTtixhiise or clouds murk the day. It Is
safe t bet on six weeks, of weather. It's
a lonu, long way to March 1".
It Is the dictum ot the mayor of Bos
ton that professions! Interpreters of the
ait of dancing must wear socks In addi
tion to the customary oicn umbrella
regalia. Boston is a stickler for draped
art.
A Jury of women In a mock trial In
New York brought .in a verdict giving
a wife sole control of the money she
saves from household expenses. Judges
of real courts may gather from this the
future grip of Justice.
Bernard Shaw is coming to New York,
on business and pleasure bent. His re
cent observations on tiic war were so
deftly balanced that he can draw busi
ness from both sides of the neutrality
line in this country,
Hamuel Wagner of Pnna, lit., the man
who wigwagged General Pherman's
famous message. "Hold the fort, for I
am coming," to General Corse at Altoona
Pass, Is dead at the age ot 73. Wagner
was a member of an Illinois regiment.
A California woman who deserted her
husband and children for a hobo affin
ity and tramped with him from the Pa
cific const to the Atlantic and back again,
is now laid up In a Portland (Ore.) Hos
pital with a broken hip, the result of a
heating administered by the hobo. Tho
hobo Is booked for a round with the Mann
act. Occasionally the affinity business
works its own punishment.
M. P. Kellogg ot Herlngton, Kan.,
sawed the wood that made the fire that
cooked the substantial for .the feast In
honor of his ninety-first birthday. Mr.
Kellogg is the father of nlnetoen children,
has thirty-five grandchildren and two
great-grandchildren. Hia score also In
cludes two wives buried, and the third,
still living, he married when he was S3.
All of which proclaims an energetic life.
SECUIAR SHOTS AT THE FULPIT. I DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES.
THRILLS OF HEROISM.
St. Louis republic: The captain ot the
Formidable went down smoking a ciga
rette, In reckless disregard of the opin
ions of Carrie Chapman Catt and Lucy
Page Gaston.
Chicago Herald. Next to a good life
comes a brave death. Captain Loxley of
the Formidable, like so many other sail
ors In -this war, died as befits a man.
His last words were a compliment on the
seamanlike manner In which a subordi
nate was superintending the launching of
the boats. "He gave his orders aa calmly
as If hts ship bad been In harbor with
Its anchors down," says a rescued sailor.
Peace Is good and war Is bad, but the
time will never come when tho pulse
will not thrill to the hero tale of the
man who fronts death bravely and takes
it calmly oftern for "some Ideal dimly
understood."
Cleveland PI gin Dealer: The sinking
of British warships by mines and sub
marines Is not merely a matter of luc&.
It haa become apparent that the num
erous British disasters are the result of
a systematlo campaign planned by the
German v naval authorities. The los.-es
are ' alrea.ly ' so great that Great
Britain cannot Ignore them as insigni
ficant. Ship after ship has been de
stroyed) by unseen agencies. Slowly, but
with amazing system, the Germans are
reducing the size of the navy which holds
their ow"n ships bottled In Prussian
havens of refuge. And while the British
are losing their ships the Germans are
losing almost nothing. Disregarding the
battle of the Falklunda, which practi
cally wiped out the German force be
yond the North Sea, the naval perform
ances of tho war have been strongly to
the advantage ot the Germans.
SIGNPOSTS OF PROGRESS.
Mexico appears destined to become the
world's principal source of petroleum. .
American factories are now entirely in
dependent ot Europe tor the 'manufacture
of incandescent mantles.
A Pennsylvania sportsman has Invented
a clamp to hold an electrio torch on a rifle
or shotgun barrel for night shooting.
A pad mounted on casters on which a
person can kneel when at work on a floor
has been patented by a Chicago scrub
woman. The uuperdreadnought California, to bo
built at New Tork navy yard, will be the
first American battleship to be driven by
electrio motors.
To protect the eyes of motorists at night
from glaring headlights goggles have been
Invented the upper portions of the lenses
tf which are of dark amber glass
Apparatus to be fastened to a man's feet
aa he lies In bed. to make hia legs go
through the motions of walking, haa been
Invented to treat vlcttma of partial pa
ralysis. In SOS labor camps in CaUfornla 19.01.
perrons are housed, according to a report
Just made by the California Commission
of Immigration, after a three months' in
spection of such places. In each case
especial attention was paid to sanitation.
The body specialises In handling com
plaints of Immigrants and Investigating
alleged land frauds. ,
TABLOIDS OF SCIENCE.
Yeast treated with oxone shows greater
fermenting power.
Glycerine applied to the glass stoppers
of bottles will prevent them sticking.
A German Invention for extremely near
alghted persons are spectacles in which
abort telescopes serve as lenses.
French army surgeons have found that
a mixture of freshly slaked lime and
phosphorus will remove tattooing so that
It can a at be detected'.
The seeds of tho sunflower make good
food for live stock, ita oil Is eo,uat to the
best Unseed oil and Its stalks are as good
as coal for producing heat
Generally speaking, the New Kngland
states have the largest death rate, but
In recent years the greatest improvement
haa been shown In thla section.
Thorite, a mineral found principally in
Norway, has been found te possess some
of th therapeutiq power a ot radium and
til serve as a less expensive substitute
for it.
One of the objects of an Australian
Antarctic expedition will be the estab
lishment of a iiM'teorological station to
give warnings by wireless of the severe
storms which sweep far southera acaa.
Chlrsgo Herald: A Chicago church Is
split on "one-man power." One-man
pocr In a local organization genernlly
a rices from one man's willingness to do
most of. the hard work.
Bwltimore American: The dream of
the ages will be fulfilled, a dream which
has existed since the Crusades, if Pales
tine Is finally delivered from the rule of
the Turks and the Holy Land passes into
Christian hands.
Brooklyn Kngle: Princeton university
will make chapel attendance optional to
"get rid of hypocrisy." Planers are not
called to repentance In any of our modern
universities, though the optionally right
eous get many exhortations.
Houston Post: "Don't begin te tell your
.vire a He the moment you get up In the
morning." advises a Kentucky evangelist.
That's good advice. A proper observance
of the tenets of "Safety First" would sug
gest the postponement of all prevarica
tion until the arrival nt home about 1
a. m.
New York World: For the old John
Street church, shrine of American Meth
odism, a skyscraper structure Is proposed,
the top stories to be an aerial place of
worship. There have long been sky
scraper churches, Ilhelms cathedral, be
fore the Germans trimmed It, roae four
feet higher than the Standard Oil build
ing in New York. The spires of Cologne
are higher than any metropolitan sky.
scraper except the Bl riser. Metropolitan
and Woolworth towers. Ulm, the tallest
spire, cquuis forty average stories. But
usually the floor of even the loftiest
church Is near the ground level, and wor- j
shlpera look up, not down.
"My ancestors came over In th? Muv
flower." "Yes?" rejoined lr. f'nmiox. "I un
derstand tne fare whs quite low. But
th linat miiu, H-i-a I. ..on I.Trtlili OVCf-
crowded." Washington Mar.
"Is It trus that the appendix Is also
Ititoly useless?" naked the medical stu
dent. "Cselxss?" tlm tide red the professor,
"why. sir. It's a vcnt.iMe gold mine for
surgeons." Philadelphia l.fdser.
"Women hnve all the best of It."
"How now?"
VA woman will drink two cocktails, cat
a lobster anil a hunk of plum pudding
and then blame her lieaiische on bet
n.l'V. mrtit cr, ... ... n. n - t n.ii.t ii:.,
" . nna, l.iio l. uv. iu.t. . .v.
Courier Journal.
Cholly Before I met you I thought of
nothing but making money.
Ethel Well, keep rlpht on! Pop ain't
ae rich as folks think: Dallas News.
"This poor girl was slmplv sold to a
rich husband."
"Oh, you're m'stnken. I wss there, and
saw her father give her away." Balti
more American.
The Head Barber Sure, Mr. Allgall, I'll
lend you a dollar. Glad to help you out.
Mr. Allgall Thanks, old man. They're
having a sale of safety razors around the
corner and I didn't wapt to miss It.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
QUAINT BITS OF LIFE.
A suit has arisen In Sunbury, Pa.i over
the business Of Philip Bradford, who
rented hens for 2 cents a day, the renter
taking a chance on getting an egg for his
money.
A St Paul woman walked into the lax
collector's office and paid 1 rent taxes
on personal property overdue since 1119.
The transaction required as much labor
as the payment of 11,000.000.
Fifty-four years ago Alfred Nelson
threw a mitten belonging to Alfred An
derson down a well. From this result!
a feud between the families whloh lasted
until a few weeks ago, when Nelson and
Anderson, now both aged to, agreed to
bury the hatchet
One of the few funds, if not the only
one, left for charity by a president of
the United States, Is used in Lancaster,
Pa., for buying coal N for, the poor at
Christmas and for other good uses. Tho
fund was left by President Buchanan,
who waa a resident of Lancaster, and the
income now amounts to about $3,000 a
year.
Details of a curious family complication
come from St Gall, Switserland. A
naturalized Swiss citizen, German by
birth, ia married to a Hungarian. His
brother-in-law la fighting agulnat the
Servians and the husband of hia sister-in-law
le fighting against tho Austrtans.
Of the man's two brothers, one Is In a
Prussian regiment and. the other Is serv
ing France under General Galllent.
A man was recently canvassing In
Atchison. Kan., for members to organize
a new order, which is to be unique. It
is to be free of assessments, and only
married men are eligible for membership.
Its purpose will be to work for two "days
of rest" every week, one to be devoted
to doing Just as their wives please and
the other to doing Just as they themselves
pleaee.
MUFFLED KNOCKS. ,
A good conversationalist never talks
when he is through with it
Why do we pity those who are crippled
in the limbs and make fun of those who
are crippled in the head?
Women have their faults. But you
never saw one who shoveled her food Into
her mouth with a knife.
Some men are busy laying up treasures
in heaven when they should be paying
some attention to fire insurance.
Every man believes that he has good
sense. But he couldn't prove it by the
love letters he wrote to his wire before
they were married.
In Patrick Henry's time liberty and
death were usually coupled in the bet
ting. But nowadays alimony secures a
whole lot of the liberty.
If a man can t get the girl he wants,
he gets peeved and quits. But If a girl
can't get the man she wants, she goea
and cops out the man some other girl
wants. '
Another of the sure things of life is
that when two new families move into
the same square on the same day, the
neighbor women are not going to get
much housework done.
A woman who was rummaging through
some old stuff discovered a waist that she
had worn some fifteen years ago. And
she found enough material in each sleeve
to make a perfectly good modern skirt.
When a girl has such a powerfsl voice
that you can hear her yelling for a
aquare, her fond mother sends her to take
singing lessons. And the result is that
you can hear her yelling for two squares.
The old-fashioned woman who was al
ways taking something- old and making
It over into something new for the chil
dren, now has a married daughter who
wouldn't think of letting Fldj wear the
same sweater for two seasons.
, A PRAYER FOR HELP.
New York 8un.
Canst Thou not hear us. Thou Almighti'
God?
Are all our prayers like bubbles upward
blown?
The earth is shaking. Man and sea and
sod, v
And all Thy winds together, making
moan.
ChV aacrlflce! Oh, tragedy sublime!
The fathers old are marching with their
sons.
To fling themselves by thousands at a
Unto
Against the maws of devouring guns!
And where art Thou? The people rage
like bc&n;
With fa.ih forsworn and passion at Ha
flood.
They Thee forget, and at their dreadful
feasts
They lltt to Thee strange flagons warm
with blood.
And overhead, within the fenceless sky,
Vt hich waa our own, and made for our
delight,
Are aliapra like birds that slaughter as
thry fly.
And s.ng ot hate, with all the stars In
aishl!
If Thou hast missed our voices from the
choirs.
How can we praise Thee while the bui-'
l.-ts sins. i
And smoke wreaths curl above our dear
desires.
And faith flk-s slowly en a wounded
' wing?
Msker of worlds, and hope of every race, '
Through warring camps, by suffering
oula implored.
Bend Thou to us from His exalted piece
Thy Angel Michael. With liu flaming,
sword! 1
A Genuine Brambach
Grand Piana, Price $455
Our Inventory Discount
Sale Embraces
Following Bargains:
Shoninger, walnut case,
good tone and OIQC
action UlLU
Kremlin & Son, mahogany
case, large size, i n r
big bargain UluD
Mueller, walnut case, full
size, good condi- ft 1 0 C
tion U1LU
"Wheeler & Son, Q I if fl
.mahogany case ..yfU
Weser Bros., ma
hogany case . . . ,
3175
Kimball, oak case,
parlor size
SI90
Cable-Nelson, 000 IT
mahogany case -wLL)
Steinway, ebony case, in
excellent condi- flOTr
tion Q.0
A small payment down,
a small payment a month
sends one home.
A. Hospe Co.
1513 Douglas St.
Our 41st Year
Plan a Trip
This Winter
The
ILLINOIS
CENTRAL
OFFERS
I.VTF.KESTIXfS RATES
FOR
WINTER TRIPS
TO
NEW ORLEANS, La.
FLORIDA POINTS
VICKSBURG, MISS. .
CUBA AND PANAMA
If you bare not decided Just
whera to go ask for a' copy
of our
WINTER KXCTRSIOX
KAREH BOOKLET
Lot the Illinois Central plan
your trip. Address tho under
signed, stating where you wish
to go, and Information as tu
fares and attractive literature
will be freely furnished.
8. NOTtTH,
District Paaaenger Agent,
407 South leth Street,
Omaha.
Phone Douglas