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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 7, 1915)
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TIIK BFE: OMAnA, THURSDAY, JANUARY 7, 1915.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD BOSEWATKR.
VICTOR KOSEWATKR, EDITOR.
Thm Be Publishing Company. Proprietor.
!KK) BriUJINO. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH.
Kntered at Omaha postoffice aa second-class matter.
TERMS OF 6UBSCW1PTIOM.
My rtrrlff By mall
per month. ptrymr.
lastly anfl undT - Me I
rllr without Sunday. ...c 4 00
I.Vnln an.i Bundav .J
Kvenlng without Sunday... .............SAO.... 4-00
Sunday Bee only I
Bend not lr of char. of address or complaints of
irregularity In delivery t Omaha Iee, Circulation
Remit br draft. enres r pootitl order. Only tw
cent stumps received In ptvmmt of mall se
rmmta Personal checks, except on Omaha and eastern
exchange, not accepted.
Onha Tha B Building,
flout h Onuhi-JSMt N irrreet.
Council muffs 14 North Main llwt '
Lincoln 2 Little Rulldin.
Chicago jOl Hearst KulWlln.
New York Room llos. 2x Fifth svenue.
flt. IxmiIs-SoI New Hnnk of Commerce.
Washington 726 Fourteenth Bt., N. "W.
Address communications relating to new srnt sdt
torial matter to Omaha Be. Editorial Department.
fltate of Nebraska. County of ftouglaa, .
1 rwlght Williams, circulation manas'er of The
T?ee Publishing company, being duly worn, aaya
4 hut the average daily circulation for the month of
December, 114, wan 64. ill.
t DW1GHT WIL.L.IAMH. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my prenenc and aworn to before
me. thin Id dsv of Jannarv, 115.
ItOBEKT HUNTER. Notary Public.
Subscribers leaving the city temporarily,
should have The Hf mailed to thera. Ad
dreaa will be changed aa often a requested.
17 January f
Thought for the Day
SmUtUd by ?. Lucia Balrd
"Our daty it to be useful, not ac
cording to oar detiret, bat accord
ing to oar powers." Amiel.
Perhaps a peace commission is In order for
our suffrage warriors.
Russia s delayed tnrietrxiss appears to nave
been greased with considerable Turkey meat.
.1 J . ......
Our legislature has a sixty-day session be
fore it, having the advantage of consress, which
must stop short on March 4,
It wheat and flour continue on the jump,
something akin to the war bread of Germany
may yet look mighty good at home.
' Another boost in the price of flour. My,
how those democrats' made good on their prom
ise to reduce the high cost of tiring!
The neglect of Bt. Jackson's day during a
democratic administration confirms the suspi
cion that anticipation is more pleasurable than
The old, familiar tuna of economy, set to
music by minor statesmen, now. fills Jegislatlva
halls with melody. The music rarely gets a
hand beyond the gallery. ' .
Airing the troubles of Organized DaBe Ball
before a Judge classed as "fan" Insures a
game umpired according to the unwritten
rules of the grandstand and the bleachers.
, "The French within thirty miles of1 the
Rhine," says a headline. Not as long as the
way to Tlpperary, but getting there entails dif
ficult subway work and cemetery promotion.
The Dan bury hatters' case, which baa fin
i.shed its second round In the federal supreme
court, shows enough vitality to rival the en
durance st ore of the celebrated Jones calf case
The periodical appearance of reports of com
ing conscription in Great Britain ' suggest the
preparation of the public mind for the event.
I'atrlotlo persusslon lags In quarters where only
force is effective.
Omaha Is getting in line with other centers
of civilization in the, matter of regulating auto
mobile irafric, and co-operation on the part of
automobile owners will make the new regula
tions work all the smoother. ' -
Omaha is again mentioned as a, possible
atoning poiut on TreKldeot Wilson's return
trip from his visit to he 8an' Francisco ciposl
tion. This is one place for the president to
niske all plans regardless of politics.
"The lurgent apple crop ever produced in the
I'oltcd States," according to official calcula
tions, ought to InHure reasonable prices for
Adam's favorite fruit. But efficiency In 'distri
bution has reached such perfection that the con
xumer la lucky who gets a bushel for lets
tva.Ml.lA IMtt w Mi.. t'ii.J
The announcement 1 made with treat flourUb. that
tt.e pesUiouse has at an been iiiared fur occu
ls.r,t, and a latient removed to H from .....
Onrnu TU-kot Asut Kyitl. and Ceiier.l Trelant
A,t,,t M.Ucr , ,h. liuruncto. left ,wr K.ftS
lMoUn of ,h TTaB.onllneDtal Pvh4 as!
Ted' Grebe reovere f,om a aerlou. U at
'he recn:t fire. ml
The wartn ,un of today made the .treets very
Moi i.y and decidedly unpleawat for de.lrla.
A inertlna- f the Union lYilflc bend elected Harry
Jaekeon ,.,ier nd Hurr lirewrr preldenL and
Jrhart trtaeurer and William I'fi,.!ir, maner.
A petition for the ,rdoB of ea-Me.-hal Cuthrte
- t-n at-eldiukiy ,ircultd and w. ill be preteDted
(o the sov.rr.or uit wek.
' Knts Illeprn. well known t plui.r lti,naa ae
oim.iimfii. from the Third rd. U ..w
o, k farm i,,-ar 'orrlnne. I In h. and l a o aerv r.rf
c cuur.iy coniiiuK'oi,er therv.
Hon. H. M. Tr!l. r. c,ei-iy f iulU,r ,
1 r.io,i.t Adhura mUii.i. psd (hruimh Omaha un
'i ir to Luvw,
An Unfair Exemption.
The city finance department claims a credit
mark for reducing the share payable by the city
toward the cost of maintaining the treasurer's
ofMce, the amount being figured according to
law at 1 per cent of the sums handled for the
city by the treasurer. 8o far so good, but this
Is a reminder that the treasurer's office Is also
caring for the funds and handling the finances
of the School board and the Water board with
out reimbursement whatever. The result Is that
the taxpayers of the whole county are bearing
the entire eipense of trsnsactlag the financial
business of these other units. If the city, county
and water district were co-termlnons, It would
make no difference whether the money came
ont of one pocket or another, but with different
sets of taxpayers in each, It is not exactly fair
to make the county and the city pay all of It
while the school district and water district is
served free. Tho expense of the treasurer's of
fice should be prorated on some equitable basis
to all the administrative units whose money is
there collected and handled.
The most significant reflex of the political
drift since the recent election is to be found in
the action of two progressive party members of
the Illinois legislature, one of them repress .ting
that state in the progressive national committee,
Joining the republican caucus and announcing
their purpose to act with the republicans. This
looks like an abandonment of the proclaimed
and reiterated policy of nonlntercourse with
either of the old political parties, and denuncia
tion of them as being equally bad. It those
who strayed from the republican fold in Illinois
can come back, the errant wanderers In other
states should find little to prevent them from
doing likewise. "
"Pie" and the Constitution.
As the dsy set apart for tbs exaltation of
"Andy" Jackron impends, some little curiosity Is
felt as to how that eminent democrat would
view a situation that baa arisen within the coun
cils of the party he so illustriously adorned, and
to which hs gave .a shibboleth that Is Just now
causing such turmoil among the hungry and
long-waiting faithful. The spoils of victory have
not all been parceled out as yet, and such dis
tribution as has been made does not bring har
monious content to the followers of Jackson. Bo
great is the perturbation that a special commit
tee has been named among the democratic sen-,
ators to Inquire Into the constitutionality of the
arbitrary action of the president in making ap
pointments without their sanction.
Has the president of the United States the
right to appoint such men as he deems wise or
expedient, or Is he bound to secure consent of
the senators in advance of selection T The con
stitution of the United States says: "The ex
ecutive power shall be vested in a president of
ths United 8tals of America." Defining the
powers of ths president, the constitution says:
"lis shall nominate, and by and with the advice
and consent of the senate, shall appoint,", and so
forth. This language would seem clear enough,
but the committee Is to search for precedent
and interpretation that will permit the senators
to name ths. candidates for the . president to
commission, t '
- u The appointing power vested In ths president
has not always been exercised to the entire sat
isfaction of ths honorable senators, nor is It at
sll likely that it will be. Senatorial Interference
with the president In ths free exercise of 'this
suthorlty Is an outgrowth of the development of
partisan politics, and Its present manifestation
will hardly be recognized by the president as
within the scope of the provision made for re
view of his acts. Because he has ths Initiative,
ths president has always the Ion. end of the
pole. Ths disgruntled democrats are getting
onto dangerous ground In their eager pursuit
"Buy It Now." '
, Immediate purchase of needed material and
Implements Is urged on the farmers of the
United States as an excellent method for assist
ing in the revival of -Industry now under way
throughout ths United States., The advice is
particularly pertinent to the farmers, because
of their exceptionally strong position. But It
applies with Just as much force to others who
must make purchases tor permanent uses dur
ing ths coming season.
"Buy It now'! menns placing orders for
goods and wares that must bs manufactured.
This process will quicken industry as no other
means can. It will set factory wheels turning,
givs employment to Idle operatives, revive do
nated payrolls, and provide for the producers
what they need more thsn anything Just nqw
a better horns market.
What Happened to Doo"
When ths democrats of Douglas county put
"Larry" J. Qulaby on tbs party's tlckst as a
nominee for ths state senats last summer, ths
wheelhorses asked one another, "Why s
QuinbyT" And on ths opening-day of ths ses
sion Senator Qutnby rose in his place on ths
senats floor and with due and circumspect pro
cedure endeavored to answer ths question. Me
dealt ths redoubtable ex-Senator "Doc" Tanner
such a Jolt as roust have made the democratic
machine tremble In every Joint and rivet.
, It has been a long time sines a new member
of ths Nebraska legiMaturs has been privileged
in the baby moments of the session to overturn
the decision of his party's caucus, not to speak
of his putting to rout a veteran so versed In the
rules and finesse of the game aa is hs defeated
candidate, for. the clerkehip of. ths engrossing
committee. Maybe what happened to "Doc" Is
tut a forerunner of what awaits some of ths
others who 'asked "Why Is Quinby!" after the
" . ,m rr
The assurance of Colonel Uoethals that the
Panama canal guna are big enough is not likely
to soothe ths fears of Massachusetts states
men. The phantom fleets of 1881. which
menaced ths sanctity of Caps Cod. mads too
deep an Impression to be' blown sway by a
Panama gun. ,
All plans for world peace orth considering
ought to be tried out on the relations between
Colonel Theodore Kooaevelt sod the national
administration. Itentoring amicable relations be
tween Oyster It4y aQd. Waxbinjtcn would con
stitute the supreme et of efficiency.
By rtCToa sonwim,
ALL, TtoE accounts of the death last week of "Jim''
Callahan referred Incidentally to the fact that
ha bad been Implicated with the notorious "Pat"
Crowe in tha senaatlrnal Ctid.thy kldnaplns affair,
Jthoush when brought to trial for the offense Calla
han had been acquitted. As truth' ! stranrer than
fiction, so ths story of the outlaw exploit could well
be taken as a piece of lurid literature Invented by
the fervid Imagination of soms yellow-back dime novel
artlvt. Tet, It was currently reported that mora than
one of tha jurors who sat In tha Callahan caee and
heard all the leetlmony refuaed to believe. that young
Cudahy was ever stolen away from his parents at all
or that the princely ransom of shining (old was ever
paid to procure his 'return.
The disappearance of the Cudahy boy was re
posted to tha police on tha night of December 18, 1000,
but in no way to arouse more attention than tha
frequent requests to the police to look mt for some
one who ha failed to return home at tha expected
hour. The fsct wss, I believe, mentioned In a three or
four-line Item In a morning psser, but was not con
sidered by The Bee'a night man of sufficient moment
to call for notice. Boon after the plot bad definitely
developed the neat morning, we got tha Inside story
from a source In which ws felt we had a rUcht to
place Implicit reliance how young Cudahy had been
kidnaped, and was being held hostage till the demands
of his captors war complied with how the note had
been found in the yard tied to a stick how It Eave
directions for procuring the boy's return by placing
a bag containing $25.0)0 in gold at a spot to be Indi
cated by tha signal of a lighted lantern what roads
to take and bow the trip must ba made how the
strictest secrecy must be observed ths threat of
bodily barm to tha boy If full response to these de
mands were too long delayed. .No time was lost In
converting this Information Into a hurried narrative,
and loosing It on the streets In the form of a liee
extra. People eagerly snatched the paper from the
newsboys, to whom copies could scarcely be supplied
fast enough. Folks read 'the story with Incredulous
amazement, and just laughed out loud when they fln
lnhed reading. It seemed too preposterous for the
most gullible to Swallow. "The Be must be trying
to outdo the yellowest of the yellow journals," was
tha common remark. "What a crasy yam," was an
almost Involuntary exclamation.
And yet. that first account of tha Cudahy kid
naping printed in The Be extra had practically oil
tha facts, but with on curious mistake. Our Informa
tion bad come, to us ever tha telephone, and whether
the misunderstanding was at on end or the other, the
directions given were all mixed up. We described the
route to be traveled In carrying the gold to Its hiding
spot as going along the bank of the Missouri river In
stead of west on the Center street road, and this very
mistake facilitated the subsequent moves by which
the ranaom prlc waa aecretly deposited according to
Instructions, and tha kidnaped boy brought back home
without any- outside interference.
Chief of Police Donahue, who had the Cudahy kid
naping case personally In hand, told me more than
once that he was convinced he could have recovered
tha boy without giving up any money or could have
taken tha kidnapers Immediately after the money was
paid over if he had been permitted to follow his own
plans. Apprehension on the part of the Cudahys, and
partloularly the nervous strain on ths mother, lest
ths threats might possibly be carried out, resulted
In positive orders that the police should do nothing
until the boy was safely home, and by that time the
perpetrators of the deed had such a start over pursuit
that the advantage was all In their favor. Suspicion
had attached from tho first to Pat Crowe, and. know
ing his desperate character, the, natural impulse of
those directly concerned was to avoid Inciting htm to
attempts at further reprisals. '
I have met Pat Crowe a number of times since he
became world-famed as the Cudahy kidnaper. On
one occasion he had a fantastto proposition to submit
to me which ha explained at considerable length.
Never mind What the proposition was tt may some
dsy furnish the theme for another entertaining story
but ha ventured soma passing remarks about his
Omaha experiences that could leav no doubt as to
the part he had played. H IS, or was then, a large,
smooth-faced, ruddy-cheeked, fine-looking man, a
t-ifl Inclined to be portly. His hatr was beginning
to streak with gray. He. sat In his chair for nearly
an hour discoursing freely about himself In a rather
boastful vein lie referred to the time when "I lifted
the kid," and told how he "plunked the policeman,"
and Insisted that he could have escaped arrest as long
as he wanted to. The burden of bis story wss that
tha money he had had was all gone. ,
"Why don't you go to work?" I asked him. "You
certainly could set a Job It you really wanted to."
"That's easier said than done," answered Crow.
"I can't take tha kind of job that is offered me, A
friend of mine wants me to work for him right now.
tending bar, and good wage, too, but I wouldn't have
IL Why, If I was to do that and some half-drunken
hobo ram In and shot a hoi through me. ho'd go scot
free, but If I even touched him, I'd be railroaded
straight to tbs pen."
I wonder. how many know that, because of the
then, defective condition of our Nebraska criminal
code, Jim Callahan was tried and acquitted, not on
a charge of forcibly carrying off and detaining the
boy, but en a chars of highway robberystealing
the JS.OOS that was handed over by putting the owner
In fear or terror.
People and Events
The veracity of Chicago, hitherto acclaimed as
near perfection ss any. human institution, suffers en
clips on th threshold of the new year. A resident
wife alleges aa ground for divorce that her husband
persisted In throwing money at her.
Several prominent hotel bars in New Tork have
dispensed with the services of women cashiers, th
owners having .discovered that the presence of at
tractive money ehangers diverted attention from con
vernation water. Business is bualnasa. 4
It la estimated that there are tOOO.000 automobiles
in tha country and that they consume noo.OOftnoo
worth of oil in a year. Notwithstanding tha sur
passing richness of his business, John D. Rockefeller
la deaf to Cleveland's plea for I2.000.00S of back taxea
Borne unnamed artist in th east, answering a
Chicago request for design (or convention medallions,
sent one showing th bead of a pig as emblematic of
the city. Oroat Caasar! Th answer sent him was
hot enough to scald the smok cloud on tho lake
front. - ,
William . Bennett, chief of police f Neptua
City. N. J., la also superintendent, of streets, health
inspector, truant officer, license collector and janitor
of th borough hall. Mr. Bennett's monopoly of city
jobs Is du to the fact that the aggregate salary of
k) a month is nut worth splitting.
"May Miller.", In jail in Now York, aroused sus
picion at possible suicide by skln for a rasor- Th
inoident led to a personal search which revealed
"May" as a young man who needed a ihvt. The
prisoner kept up the disguise since birth, twenty-four
years ago, because, as ha explained, his mother wanted
a girl and kept him so disguised until It became a
fixed habit with him.
Th teacher-mother controversy in New York City
Is moving toward a settlement. The commute ap
pointed two months ago to Investigate tha subject
baa reported In favor of two years' vacation without
pay for teachera about to beoom tnottiara. Th pres
ent rule provides for dismissal. "It Is probable ths
school board will itpprov th report and end aa em
Aa Arfcansa court backs up th supreme court Vf
Missouri la vindicating the repudiation of (he mule.
The former court, after hearing the apecioua pt
that mules have no road rights in these days cf
uutor ears, severely -reproved the jocularity of ths
lawyer snJ soaked his motor car client for the
limit. Now If the mule could register his wn kicks
la the right spot, his vindication would be a thma of
Seaater De-da Tlelde Point.
OMAHA, Jen. . To th Editor of Th
Bee; I notice there have been a great
many letters in th papers la defense of
th double-shift system now In vogue In
Omaha In our fira department. I realise
ths strength of th argument often re
peated that It Is unfair to ask men to
work twenty-four hours, saving ths time
off for meals, and I appreciate that It Is
an occupation many f us would not en
joy, but unfortunately the same argument
may b applied to many othsr oooupa
tlons like sailors or soldiers, or any other
occupation that takes a man away from
his home for long periods of time. Th
answer la notwithstanding tha conditions,
thera are hundreds of men ready to serve
In thess plsces and In the fir department;
there has always been a waiting list even
under the single ahlft.-
I understand, however, that the double
shift is coming Into vogu In other cities,
and I hsd no Intention of attempting to
repeal th present Isw unless a proper
efficiency survey recommended It. to
gether with other amendments to the
charter whereby wa could save sufficient
money to improve our city without In
creasing ths budget. Th double shift
may be expensive, but I believe, aside
from that Item, th fir department la aa
free from Inefficiency and extravagance
aa any department In the city.
1 atlll feel convinced that the people of
Omaha will adopt the, city manager plan
If they are given an opportunity. The
commission form of government waa
merely a step In th right direction to
ward civic reform and rarely Is the com
mission form of government adopted In
any city at present that does not contain
the city manager plan. If wa have a
commission of five of tha ssme type of
men aa our Water board, drawing, say,
$1,000 a year, merely acting as) a board of
directors in an advisory capacity, snd
let them select a city manager, Just' as a
railroad would select a president, by seek
ing th country over for th ablest execu
tive! they could find and then have this
man conduct ths affairs of Omaha on a
business-like basis, regardless of politics
or spoils, we would soon have a cleanup
In Omaha and do away with extrava
gance, nepotism. Inefficiency and fraft.
N. P. DODGE.
A Difference of Opinion.
SOUTH OMAHA, Jan. .-To the Editor
of The Bee: I not a letter In Th Bea
from th pen of J. P. Weybrlght Judg
ing from his name he must hail from
Germany and got one of those stones
he speaks about. The idea of Germany
hunting around for help to lick th bflnch
she Is fighting Is ridiculous, and then he
gloata over th Idea that Italy proved
herself a traitor to Germany. (
J. O. BU3S8ING.
Proof of Pawl's Bachelorhood.
COTJNCTij BLUFFS. la., Jan. S.-To the
Editor of Tha Bee: Paul can be a bach
elor and a widower, but he can not be a
widoWer without being a bachelor, Acts
24:21, we find Paul was called In ques
tion for preaching the hope of th resur
rection. Acta SS-ia, h admit that he
persecuted th Christians and gav his
voice against them (not his vote). No
where In the Bible are w taught that
Paul ever was married, or a Banhedran
or an antl-suffrsglst. and it Is very
dangerous to add to th word of God.
' Mr. Layman tell us 'be has eminent
company sharing his theory that Paul
Is not a bachelor. . That Is nothing
strange. Paul tells ns all about his com
pany. I will now present my evidence to th
public and they can pass judgment on It
and if It doe not make plain Paul Is a
single man I 'will eat my old hat. See 1
Corn. 7:7-9: "I say therefor to ths un
married and widows. It Is good for thera
If they abide even as I. But If they can
not contain let them marry; tor it. is
better to marry than to burn."
X sun classed aa a dogmatist because I
quote the word of God emphatic. If my
friend. Incognito, would only come out
Into th light I do not think he would
take th position he now holda Paul tells
us In J Tim. :7, of a class of people,
ever learning, and never able to come
to th knowledge of the truth.
' Theaaata oa Great Battle.
BARNESTON, Neb.. Jan. .-To the
Editor at, The Bea: fines the declara
tion bf war la European countries the
civilised world baa been sitting up and
taking notice. As to the why or where
fore of the present conflict no man know
eth. Predictions and conjectures as to
the data of tta closing are mere guess
work. Thus fsr It Is a war to ths knife,
tha hut and ths finish, with tha soli of
earth stained with ths blood of youth
and ' strength, and America responds In
the nam of civilisation. Oh! what a
happy thought to live In a land where the
sympathetic ear for help (hears th cry
and responds out of ths ' abundance of
tha heart. None can doubt but such
"charity will hid a multitude of sins."
and it Is well.
Some tof our great men ar advocating
. a world's federation of nation. Of what
can this avail with present day human
laws broken and torn asunder by rulers
of one civilised nations? Nations that
one worshipped at th foot of th cross
of One whoa blood-stained banner has
been hoisted In every land on the. face
of the globe. He who has been heralded
as tha Prince of Peace. "Oh, consist
ency, thou art a Jewel," and this war
will end when the rights of others, ar
respected. ' T. J. IHLDEBRAND;
Boston Transcript: Th wrar m Europe
la costing a good deal, but It Isn't as
expensive ss It would be if congress were
running it. '
Washington Post: Now and then you
can find a foreigner who can't lead, but
who nevertheless can express hie opinion
of ths literacy test In seven languages.
Washington' Ftar. Mexican ar likely
to arouse unpleasant curiosity as to
where they get all the ammunition they
scatter o waatefully across the border.
Brooklyn Eag'e: Paris haa a contro
versy before ber bar association. In
stead ah is plaoing a tablet In her court
of appeals bearing the name of forty
attorneys who bavs fallen , in ' battle.
Where there la big flghtiug going oa our
little quarreia would seera mighty am all.
Pittsburgh Dlspstch: Th president wss
sbl to get the tnarabera of th senate
to eat out of his head, en pretty nearly
every subject except th distribution of
patronage. Slue th disbuisal of th of
fices Is the senatorial staff of life. It
ceuid hardly be expected that tbs sen
slors would be docile w ben the resldest
was taking their bread snd butter away.
LINES TO A LAUGH,
"That man Beardsley Is such an In-
"Why, be sat thers for one hour or
more and didn't say five words "
"Well, st least he didn't talk about the
weather or ths war." Cleveland Plain
H (greatly disappointed) It s awful te
see a young girl like you msrrylng an
old man for his money.
Khe Never mind. Jsck. Th palmist
told me that I am to marry twice, and
I am reervlng you for the next time.
"Tou certainly show praiseworthy hus
tle In getting up that shipment of food
fo'the war orphans of Kurope."
This Is not food for tl orphans, this
Is ammunition for the fighters. This is
Important, we're getting paid for this.
The food csn wait. "Houston Post.
"Thst msnsser certainly carries his
profi'ssionsl feelings too fsr."
"l told him I wanted him to com to a
little supper w here 1 would plsy the host,
and he Immediately asked me if there
was sny punch in It' -BalUniore Amer
ican. "My wife hopes to make us sll rich
"How BO?" .1
"She saw mining stock sdvertlsed st
one cent a share and she Invested a
nickel. "-Kansas City Star.
Th Star Boarder What Is this thread
In the steak?
The Waitress Ton asked fer a steak
two inches thick and we hsd to sew three
regular stesks together, sir. "Philadelphia
Indignant Young Lady That gawky
freak! Why, you told me he was a
nobby young fellow!
Treacherous Friend Tes; but I spelled
it with a k. Chicago Post.
"Ha! I've a good Joke on my wife."
"What is It?"
' "She wouldn't give me a letter to mall
because she fesred I'd forget It, snd then
she carried It around three days in her
shopping bag." Joaton Transcript.
"Rhe has an enormous snpettte. yet she
declares she eats like a bird."
"But a bird takes a peck at every
meal," Chicago Post.
Oranque A wife is an expensive luxuiy.
Blanque So la sn automobile.
Cranque Sure. But you can get a new
model every year.
JUST ONE THUJQ AUD ANOTHER
Why is it everything goes wrong so
much easier than risht?
Why la It slei-p is sweetest just before
It's getting light?
Why la It when I m busiest my friends
I come In to call.
And when I'm slone and waiting, they
never come at all?
Why ls.it when 1 settle down to doing
And everything Is going just as nice as
I could ask.
Then somothlng's sure to happen with a
grumble. Jolt or Jar?
What things? Oh. just ena thing and
another. Po there you are!
I've the disposition of an angel tt ae one
gets me riled.
My mother's often said to me I was an
And I believe It. for I'm SO pleasant,
kind and good.
And don't do anything I shouldn't and
do everything I should,
And the whole world looks so lovely that
a shadow seems a crime,
excepting when thorn little things keep
happening all the time.
What things? Oh, .there ar so many,
collar buttons, taxes, war;
If 'tain t one thing, it's anothsrt 8o
there you are!
If I could raise my eyes above these sor
did little things, s
I'd be the happiest man In town, nor
envy any kings.
But there are pitfalls lurking for my
weary, helpless feet.
And strange phantoms thst pursue me
In my home snd In the street.
Any good big Job I'd tackle and Would
send it up In smoke,
But Its these aggravating little things
that get my goat.
And there are thousands of them all
around me, near and far.
What things? Oh. first one thing, then
another. So there you are!
I used to think this old World was a
glorious, garden spot.
Where things Just hsppened nice and
easy, hut It Isn't, no, It s boC
For since I've- had to struggls with the
world and plot and plan.
In other words, since I've reached the
stature of a man,
I find the world is full of problems walt
. Ing to bs solved,
And deeds thst lead to fame and fortune
yet to be evolved.
But a hundred things ar waiting my
great career to mar.
What things 7 Oh, Just one thing and
another. Ko there you are!
i .i -is1wsWJsw7t "' 'XSeWpJ' p
; ; U i: k $ il1'"4 :
7 Hotel of retTncd
C elegance, located id
MewYrk$ social centre!
Easily Accessible to
SuipU row wish batba S??
Wctherbee IV Wood
NEW YORK. CITY
is to be given next and
believe me ehe ia a very
pretty dolly. She has
jsuch sweet winning
ways that we would like
to have her go to some
little girl that didn't get
a, doll for Xmaa. She
would make that little
girl so happy. ,
Put on your thinking
caps little Busy Bees,
and see if you cannot re
member some such little
girl, and try to make,
her happy by collecting
a few pictures to help
her win Florence
Florence will be given
free to the little girl un
der. 12 years of age that
brings or mails us the
largest number bf dolls'
pictures cut out of the
Daily "and Sunday Bee
before 4 p. m, Saturday,
Florence pictures will
be in The Bee every day
this week. Cut them out
and ask your friends to save the pictures in their paper
for you too. See how many pictures of Florence you can
get, and be sure to turn them in to The Bee office before
I p. m., Saturday, January 9.
You Can See Florence at the Bee Office
' '' ' " n ..-.': . v..
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Sled Number 4
FREE THIS WEEK
The picture of the Sled will ba in
The Bee every day this week. '
Cut them all out aud
ask your friends to save
the pictures in their pa
per for you, too. Seo
how many pictures you
can get and bring them
to Th Bee office.
Tlieled will be given
Fre to the boy that
semis us the most pic
tures before 4 p. m. Sat
urday, January 9.