Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, January 03, 1915, EDITORIAL SOCIETY, Page 6-B, Image 18

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    THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE: JANUARY .3, 1915.
THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE
FOUNIIKD DY EDWARD ROSEWATER.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
The Bm Publishing Cornpsny, Proprietor.
BEB BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH.
Entered at Omaha poetofflc at second-class matter.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Br carrier By mall
per month. per year.
ratlv and Punday c W '
ally without Sunday...." ?
IvVenlng and Sunday c..... 00
Kvenlng without Eundar
Sunday Pea only 2e.. ......... 1.00
fiend notice of change of addree or complaints of
Irregularity in delivery to Omaha Dae, Circulation
Department.
REMITTANCE.
Remit riy draft. exprese or postal order. Only two
cent postage stampa received In payment of small eo
counte Pereonal checks, except on Omaha and eastern
eschange. not accepted.
orncEB.
Omaha Tha Bee Rullrilng.
Pouth Omaha Still N atreet.
Council Fluffs 14 North Main street.
Mncoln-W Little Rutlrtlne.
Chicago 9H Hearat HulMlmr
New Tork Rwim Ufls, 2S Fifth .
Ft. Lmile MS New Bank of Cnmwteree.
' Weehlnaton 726 Fourteenth Bt., N. W.
CORRFSPONDENCB.
Address communications relating to ew and e.
Uriel matter to Omaha Wee. fecusorteu ueaart
DIX K.HBEK SUNDAY CIRCULATION.
45,029
State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, sa.
Dwlght Wllltama, circulation manager of The
dee Fublleblng company, being duly aworn, say
that the average Sunday circulation for the month
f December. 1S14, was 4R,0:'.
DWIOHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and aworn to before
ne, thla 2d day of January, 1916.
ROBERT HUNTER. Notary Tubllc.
Subscriber leaving the city temporarily
should have The Be mailed to them. Ad
dress will be changed a often a reajtieeted.
r- fuwrr a
Thought for the Day
SWselaaf by ami B. Harm
' Count that day lout, who low-
descending tun
View from thy hand no worthy
action done." Bobart. '
That pro-military diet seems to have turned
the stomach ot the Japanese Diet.
Those Filipinos can afford to revolt, now
that Oeneral Funston Is at a safe distance from
them.
The Argentine navy Is said to buy lta razors
In Bt Louis. Yes, but how about lta beer and
tobacco T
Let us have those lower electric lighting
fend water rates for Omaha, not next year, but
this year. , '
That lnsnrance-agaloet-unemployment Is an
other r sure sure to evoke loud protests frem
the I. W. W. ranks. ' ( '
What's this? An Ambulance Chaser's trust
In New York? Must be Imitating some of our
pmaha lawyers' methods.
Watch King Caucus come back now and get
, in bis work again on the organization of the
Impending Nebraska legislature. . ,
; The real Irony of this Mexican turmeit
comes out In Zapata's protest against Villa's
too-humane manner of treating the enemy.
By becoming a seventh-time grandfather,
Secretary Bryan has Colonel Roosevelt, with all
bis race suicide preachment, beaten to a frazzle.
' Governor Whitman of New York advocates
the budget system of etate finances for New
York. Just a little tip for Governor Morehead
Jn Nebraska.
President. Polncare of France is sure the
treat war will be ended within the year. It
ill have to be or there will not be enough left
to fight over.
Forgetting Kansas for the nonce, let us ask
"What's the matter with Ohio and Indiana!"
with Toledo's mayor, accused ot permitting
gambling and Terre Haute's figuring In election
frauds.
That note on American commerce. Johnny
Bull says, waa for private home eoneumptlon.
rossibly, but It has been turned over to every
ultimate consumer In the United States through
the newspaper channels.
It la very kind of Carter If. Harrison's wife
to permit the mayor to run again, especially as
be had already determined on doing so. And
why shouldn't heT He has only had five terms
as Chicago's chief executive.
- - - -
' Tha New York district attorney, in bis attack
on the Bronx Ambulance Chatter's trast, might
get a few useful pointers on how the work Is
done by looking over some ot The Bee 'a flies
showing up tha operations of a similar gang of
grafters In Minnesota.
Instead of coaling a billion dollars a month,
revised figures ot the statisticians place the out
lay for the war at one billion four hundred
thousand dollars a, month cash outlay, disre
garding the loss of life snd value of property
destroyed. But if a billion dollars a month la
incomprehensible to the ordinary man, so much
. mora Is fourteen hundred millions a moats.
- -
Local telegraph operators are disturbed over lite
rumor ot another cut In wage Impending. The flrate
uaaa men are now gelling fC a, month.
Fire Chief Butler report the number of fires la
1&3 aa etg-hty-tao and the estimated loa at 113,10).
The warm weather railed out today a Urge num
ber ef slelghrtders and pedestrian.
Tte editorial sanctum of. The Be . honors)
tin the gift ef beautiful cake by lra. K. J. Curl
and Mu T. C. Donaldson of 1EJ1 Howard atreet. Tin
prtaeot U highly appreciated and U1 be honorcj
with all due aUentlon.
MUa Loire Mora la entertaining Mix Xiia
Satkeit of Council Bluft.
Mr. Park Godwin upon retiring from the office of
district attorney wli eater upon law practice la this
city
Expediting" Justice.
It Is gratifying to The Bee to note the em
phatic endorsement of It. L. Metcalfe In his
"Nebraskan" of our protest agslnct ulng the
excuse of the clogged supreme court docket to
resurrect the discredited supreme court commis
sion, with sit Its train of attendant evils. The
crying need of expedited Justice Is not to be ig
nored, but to rehabilitate the "deputy Judges"
is not, in our opinion, nor In his, the correct
solution.
Other states with no more Judges on their
bench, and many of them with fewer, keep
abrea.st with their litigation without the troubles
which we complain of In Nebraska. They do it,
first, by discouraging, or limiting, frivolous ap
peals, and particularly appeals where the only
object sought Is to gain delay, and they speed
up the wheels of the Judicial machinery by re
stricting the hearings and arguments to the
points really at Issue, and likewise holding the
opinions of the court within reasonable compass
by excluding all the side lines. They do it,
further, by closing a case for good with a de
cision without successive rehearlngs, unless
some vital factor has been overlooked or Is
newly discovered. They do It chiefly, however,
by a spirit of co-operation between bench and
bar that keeps the main object In view, and
eliminates time-consuming technicalities.
What has been done In other Mates toward
expediting Justice ran certainty be done to a
measurable degree In Nebraska If those most
directly concerned will put their minds to the
problem and work it out.
A Ttar of "Expositfom.
With the San Diego Panama-Pacific exposi
tion touched off by the president to run its full
year courae and San Francisco's big show soon
coming on, California embarks upon one of the
biggest enterprises to which it has ever set Its
great powers. Whether that state of indomitable
grit would have essayed such a task If it could
have foreseen the turn of world events Is not
the question now. The task has been essayed
and California may be depended upon to com
plete It successfully If such a thing can be done.
Moreover. California will have thw hearty good
will of the entire country back of K. and no
doubt a lot of even more practical support and
co-operation.
With European travel badly discounted by
the war, many thousands of those Americans
who Just must go somewhere every year will in
all probability go to California. It is doubtless
true, as has often been said, that many of our
best travelers from the eastern states have sadly
neglected tholr opportunities for travel and
study in the west. Now here Is the golden op
portunity to make good tbelr shortcomings, to
put into practice the "See America First"
slogan. And it will more than pay them to do
so. The Journey across the continent will afford
them both profit and pleasure la becoming ac
quainted with other dominions ot wealth and
wonders, besides California. Of course, thous
ands of these tourists will be drawn over the
water route by the added attraction of the Pan
ama canal, whose opening these expositions are
to celebrate, but many may make the trip one
way by land. Indeed, the combination land and
water Journey would afford one of the rarest
privileges of travel.
Back of the pleasure side of the expositions
to California, of course, la the stern factor of
business; of exploiting and colonizing soma of
lta wide stretches of land, such, for example,
as the Imperial Valley to the south Here, again, 1
the tnterlylng states may come la for their share
of tha fruits of the expositions, for statea like
Nebraska have the most attractive offers to
make to anyone seeking either Investment or a
home on the Isnd. This reminds us of the im
portance of a systematic effort to attract as
many ot these passing strangers as possible.
They might, despite our irresistible charms, not
see fit to tarry with us long enough to appre
ciate them unless bidden to do so.
Twe Kinds of Preaching:. ,
The apparent remarkable success of Rev.
William A. Sunday's method of preaching is
coming to Invite comparison with the more de
corous and dignified manner of preaching from
the average church pulpit throughout the land.
Sunday - biggest buildings are overflowed,
whether In Dea Moines or Pittsburgh, while
many pastors yearn for occupants of empty
pews, although church attendance on the whole
Is said to be somewhat improving of late.
Those who have studied the style and
method of the great evangelist. Whltefleld.
whose torrential eloquence burned into the aoula
of men two centuries ago, find analogy In the
Sunday sermons. Both men are described as
ovine evaagetist crusaders, preaching the old
time religion in the straight-from-the-shoulder
fashion, sparing neither friend nor foe in laying
bare the sins ot the people. In flaying the indif
ferent and exposing the hypocritical.
"In his terrific sermons," aaya a pertrayer
or the great Whlterield, "be lashed the faults
ot hla auditors unsparingly, and told them
Plainly that if they did not change their ways
they were destined to everlasting fire. The kind
of preaching that drew vast congregatioaa then,
drawa thee now.''
Certaialy Mr. Sunday seems to have aa much
fire and force lu hla preaching aa any man
could have, and the people fairly fall over them
selves In not only going to hear him, but going
to the mourners' bench after they hear him.
Aa the Dea Moines Capital, which has had re
cent occasion far studying Sunday end hla ways,
puts it: "His hearers seem positively to relish
being told they are 'half beasts aad half devila.' "
The quebtlon seems to arise, Is it time for the
average pastor to take his toot off the soft
pedsl and let out the steam as Sunday does and
as Whltefleld did and as most ot the old-time
preachers used to do. Has the sugar-coated
method of preaching, or even the more dignified
rationalism In the pulpit failed ot proper re
sults. Not long ago a stout-hearted layman here
in our own city, who, feeling that his pastor
waa losing ground because ot hla too gentle
prer.eb.lnf. went to hint and said:
'Doctor, do you not see some faults la some
of your people?" snd the good pastor admitted
that he did.
"Then, why," atked the la man, "do you
tot go after them? Strike out and hit one of
them; hit me If you will, hit anybody. Put a
punch In your preaching."
It would bs interesting to know how general
that feeling exiaU among laymen and how far
responsible It Is for the empty pew problem.
No pastor or layman, of course, will admit that
Rev. Mr. Sunday's vigorous style of preaching
constitutes his real power. They would, doubt
less, point you to this secret, which the evan
gelist, himself, puts in his own words:
I would no more think of attempting a campaign
In any city without the co-operation of God's people
In the neighborhood prayer meetings than I wouli
try to play a game of base ball without a ball
That is, "Billy" 8unday names prsyer as
the sine qua non of his power.
Teachers' Retirement Pensions.
Signs are already visible of opposition to
that part of the school law code recommended
by the Revision commission, which proposes re
tirement pensions for teachers throughout Ne
braska on a plan somewhat similar to that which
already obtains here in Omaha. This proposal
Is denounced as infringing on the principle of
equality and establishing a privileged class.
The question Is thus raised as to whether a
school teacher la entitled to preferential treat
ment as compared with other public employes
or as compared with those In private employ
ment. Here In Omaha we have taken the
teacher's retirement pension as a matter of
course, having also retirement pensions for
members ot the police and fire departments.
The pension system has not yet been extended
beyond departmenta where the beneficiaries
hold by good-behavior tenure, this being the
only practical way so tar devUed to transfer the
superannuated, and keep the arterlea of circula
tion open.
The alternatives would seem to be either to
have fixed terms of employment and rotation
for all public servants or to set a deadline at a
designated age,' neither of which conform to
modern ideaa of progress. The college profes
sors have bad retirement pensions, subject to
established rules, provided for them by private
endowment, and In one or two states by state
appropriation, and to pension public school
teachers, to our mind, no more creates a privil
eged class than to pension university Instructors.
Nebraska'! Mortality.
According to the State Bosrd ot Health, the
total number of births in Nebraska in 1814 was
26,704; deaths, 10,785, leaving a net gain to
population of 16,969, reminding us again of the
bmall proportion of population increase from
this source But If the birth rate la dlscourag
lngly small, the death rate Is encouragingly so;
It is even smaller than for the year previous,
when the total number of deaths was 11,264.
For a state of 1,800.000 population. 10,000
deaths in a year stands itself a splendid adver
tisement of the wholesome living conditions.
Cupid was on the Job rather industriously dur
ing the year, consummating 12,167 triumphs at
the altar of Hymen, albeit the little cherub wit
nessed all too many defeats In the divorce courts.
In tha year 2.159 attempts at separation were
made, most of them successfully. Most of those
seeking divorce had been married less than five
years, which will furnish new ground for the
contention that domestic Infelicity Is more com
mon than In former yearn, althourfn the logic
may be quite faulty. 1
Late statistics showing the ratio of births as
between so-called native Americans tn Nebraska
and foreign-born families would doubtless, If
available, reflect some Interesting facts, the
large birth ; rate being ; la the foreign-born
families. Failure to advance far along this line
of Increase does not necessarily mean, of course,
that Nebraska's population is not keeping up; it
Is making normal gains from Immigration, which
may promise still larger contributions la the
next few years.
The Shortage of Housemaids.
Chicago oomplalna of a shortage In house
maids, despite the general cry over the country
for employment. Good wages, It Is said, tail to
supply the demsnd for competent help.
"Wages now offered for experienced house
maids are at least normal," says a woman en
gaged in trylig to f'll these wants., . "In fact,
In many of the suburbs they have reached the
high level."
An oversupply ot Jobless women ready to
accept housework is admitted, but they are
without experience, not capable ot earning the
top wages and unwilling to accept less. How
typical the Chicago situation may be cannot be
said, but tha chances are It is a good deal Ilka
that In most other cities. The truth Is that,
even though housework is the woman's most
natural occupation, and a competent housemaid
Is often la the long run better paid than her sis
ter who prefers the shop and factory, the great
majority continue to choose the latter. Yet
this coadltlon may not be due entirely to the
housemaid. The housewife. If she has not
quite learned how to treat her "help." may have
as much, or more, to do with it than she is eager
to concede. Ordinarily, the comforts of tht
hemes employing males, In addlttoa to the
wages, offer relative advantages aad la du ce
ment which the factory or mill do not have to
offer, and when theae fall to attract, anrely the
fault must be elsewhere, or at least divided be
tween the two sides.
People and Events
"Don't worry cluha" are not making
much headway In Philadelphia. One ef
the worries ot the Quaker city Just now
la: "Why do people who reach the aga
of inA Inalxt on dancing?" Try It on a
Philadelphia lawyer.
I'ntted States senators appear to be In
a fair state of prerartdDei. Am ng tha
Itema ot supplies (or members the re
ports how two pitchforks, one iooop
ahovel and an Instrument for clean'ng
and adjuatlng revolver.
Benjamin Prleat of Canaan. Horn-erect
county. Me., celebrated bis iOid b rthday
anniversary recently, and remarked to
his callers that he didn't feel much dif
ferent from what he did at M. He Is
suppoeed to be the oldest veteran of the
civ .war.
In one of the report of a shooting
scrape In the Carpathian mountain the
Ruaslan bulletin editor aaya the enemy
"sustained grave loasea." "Severe" has
been the word heretofore, but "grave"
points more clearly to the dcatlnatlon of.
that line of business.
A teacher down in Holtun. Kan., re
ceived thla note from an admiring par.
ent: "Pardon mo for calling your atten
tion to the fact that you have pulled
Lloyd's right ear until It Is longer than
his left. Please pull the left ear for
(fthile, and oblige his mother."
Mlaa Bertha Bates of .ct. Louis, fiance
ai William Donaldson, Jr., deceased, is
to receive out of his eetate $157,311 Don
aldson, an attorney, waa fatally burned
on the night of October 11 last, hi cloth
ing saturated with saeollne from hie
automobile, catching fire. His last act
was the making of a codicil to his will
giving half hla fortune to his fiance.
The director of public aafety of Pltts
bursh start a the new year with a reform
calculated to shake down the arched
front of policemen. At all public dances
he proposes to put police aea on guard
with Instructions to teach woaaen an
girls the "safety first" poeltloa which
will prevent familiarity on the floor. The
Idea Implies that Pittsburgh policemen
are Immune.
Old Boreas pulled off a screaming
"Merry Christmas" at Belfast. Me. With
out any provocation on the part of the
townspeople tha town band got Into a
church steeple on Christmas mornlag and
began caroling Joyfully. Winter doea
considerable buslneaa In that locality
and is not partial to elevated notes on
an elevation. In less than fifteen min
ute the Joyful notes froie In tho Instru
ments and the musicians were- obliged
to come down and shut up.
AROTHTD THE CITIES.
Philadelphia's yearly loss because of
rata is put down at 11,000,000.
Salt Lake City reports that Utah eheep
rden pulled down fS.MO.OOO during 19H-
Vankton, 8. D., put MlO.flOO Into build
ing improvements during the last year.
St. Ixiuta authorities are forcina the re
moval of revolving doors from nonflra
proof buildings-
In Milwaukee's cat and (tog city a
swell pup or an arlstocratVo kitten may
be decently Interred for
According to figures from the district
attorney's office a first-class killing may
be pulled off tn New Tork City for t,0.
Tha aggregate money value of all busi
ness transactions of tha last year put
Omaih securely In the billion dollar class.
Boston has organised a "Safety First"
society composed ef business man for the
purpose ot promoting Industrial safety In
factories. t
Atlantic City advertises for SO chorus
girls to skate with young and old skaters
on the Beard walk end throw a note of
gaiety Into the etmgalng ot the aad aea
waves.
' Saa Francisco la said to be "dance
mad." Tha "expealUon trot" la the faver
Ite and Is regarded by pedal artiste as the
warmest whirl that aver flushed the
dim plea of tha goddess Terpei chore.
Morrtatown, N. J., advertises for "s
capable fire chief." to whom a aalary of
110 a month I guaranteed. Applicant
ahould send In their photographs and a
statement showing what they will do
with all the money.
In Boston reoently a fire tn a basement
stocked with paint materials produced
such volumes ot smoke that firemen em
ployed electric fana to draw it out and
permit the men to work advantageously.
The method was a success.
Beau Brummel burglars are tha latest
Innovation In Denver Industrie. "Pardon
me, lady." said one of theae leg tat
dressers, ss he bowed himself Into a
woman's chamber at t a- nv. "X am
obliged to aak you not to make aay nolew
while I gather the money and valuables."
"He waa a perfect gentleman." the
woman remarked, attar the caller departed.
Possibly the correspondent who wrote It
may not have Intended It. but there la a vela
of very subtle humor In the last line of the
story of Villa's announcement that conspirators
must be severely dealt with: "General Villa
signed the ststement." It Is quite the Impres
sion that his keen Americas lawyer secretary
wrote It, as he writes all of the Illiterate ex
bandit's publlo statements.
According to Secretary Bryan, the certain
may to destroy tha liquor traffic is by total ab
stinence. No one will dispute that statement,
for If everyone were to swear off for the year,
and to stick to It. there would be nothing: dotng.
Tbe trouble Is that not all of them swear off.
and then a lot who do swear off soon begin to
slip.
Photographs have arrived showing where
the Cermaa shells hit during that raid on the
English eoast towns. These photographs are tbe
best evidence of the marksmanship accuracy ot
the German gunners tbat any court could re
quire. Tbe British call the Oermaa plan of naval
warfare the "poller of attrition." It has proved
rsther wearing on British patience as well as oa
Brttibh warships.
SIGliTOSTg OF PROGRESS.
Electrically driven, a new machine
pastes paper labels on bottles, no matter
what their shape.
' Because borlne stumps preparatory to
blasting is an arduous task', an laventor
ha dovlsed an auger driven by a porta
ble gasoline engine.
.Switch target on aome of tha Ameri
can railroad are being painted green
with a white rmg areund them. The com
bination makes them easily discerned.
A Jepanete laveator has provided aa
Iron kettle which burst a into song tha
moment the kettle bslna to boil. The
sounds are produced by steam bubble
striking aewtna musical metallic bars
Just above the water.
In a patent takes out recently by Clar
ence H. Muaaiwer ef Mack River rails.
Wis., Is manatee a sracess of teatse
rartly preaervtaer green vegetaMea, auch
aa pea and bean, tn which the veaeta
ties are eublected to an upwardly flow
ing stream ef cold water for a sufficient
period to reduce their temperature ap.
proximately t that ot the water.
Pulp and paper mills In Niagara Falls.
Canada, are equipped with the latest
Improved American machinery, while
practically all managers and superintend
ents are Americans trained la American
mills. Many ef tha skilled operators are
former employes at America a mills and
are receiving the America rate ef
wagea
C. WObur Miller, president of the Pa
Mao Chemical company ef Baltimore,
has Invented a non-rlfung gum which
may revolution tie the snaking cf modem
rtiaenc. Mr. Miller returned from Cng
lad the latter part ef October, after he
had placei the plana for the new gun
before Sir Edward drey, foreign sec
retary, aad Lard Kitchener, chief ef the
Brttlah land forces. Tbe Invention elimi
nate the necessity for rifling la the
gua.
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT
Bt Louis Republic: A St. Loul preacher
says the I. XV. W. I too "skyey." which
w suppose la a polite ministerial way of
telling them that they are .up In the air.
Pprlngfleld Republican: Ministers and
Justices out Toledo wsy srs complaining
because they have to attach a KVcent
revenue stamp to every marriage certifi
cate ef couples whom they unite In the
bonds of matrimony, snd who insist en
taking awy with them documentary evi
dence of the happy event. Tha Internal
revenue collector rules that It Is the duty
of the officiating clergyman or Justice ti
provide the stamp. One remonstrant eays
that the law cannot be legal, for the
stamp constitutes a bar to marriage. But,
assuming that thla contention Is ss bros.l
s It la long, the fee that la charged
by the men who performs the ceremony
Is equslly a "bar."
Indianapolis Kema: One of the most
serious spiritual effect of the wr, says
the Missionary Review of Uie World.
New York, la the dismemberment of
many International Chriitlan organiza
tions. The Christian Endeavorers of dif
ferent land save broken off friendly cor
respondence. More than Jnn.oos members
of the Voung Men Christian association
sr in the different armies, and there la
hardly a eerretary that has not quit and
gone to the front. The Geneva aaeoola
tlon had three secretaries. One went with
the Germans, one with the Trench and
one stayed with the fcwls troops. The
continuation committee, appointed by the
Edinburgh missionary congreen, has split
Into liritlsh, Uermsn and French fac
tions. Two Methodist missionaries in
North Africa, working together, have
separated. One ha become a captain In
the German army, the other a captain In
ths French array. The German mission
ary, a splendid scholsr. was fatally
wounded at Verdun. In France 280 or 464
pastor of the Reformed churches were
liable to military sen-Ice. 60 mere than
half of the Protestant churehes sr now
paatorleas. To have men prbfceetitc that
creed and who have dedicated their lives
to Christianity, ceasing their work and
tlylng at one another's throats seems to
be a- hopelesa spectacle. But they cannot
help It. With compulsory military serv
ice they are forced to Join the colors.
MUFFLED KNOCKS.
Most of the men who are seeking posi
tions sre (VxlRlng Job.
l'olltlr Is one of our most popular
sports because you can talk It all day
and not know a blame thing about It.
If there are no children In the family,
people roast the wife, and If there are
a doten children In the family, people
roast the husband.
The lad who loafs around and owes
everybody In town I the ame fellow
who is deeply worried because the Pan
ama canal Isn't paying expenses.
The old-fashioned poker player who
used to walk around his chair to change
, his luck now has a son who can deal a
; diamond from the bottom when his stack
I gets low.
There wss a time when a girl conaldered
a sliver thimble a dandy Christmas pres
ent. But If you sent one to a girl nowa
days she could have you arrested tor
Insulting her.
It Is funny that the girl who has her
own hair Is always letting It fall down
eo you can see thst It Is real and that
after" she begins to wear store hair you
can't pry It off her head.
gome of the old masters could paint
seraphic Innocence on a countenance.
Rut for the ral thing Just look at a
man's face when he is on a street csr
and the conductor has forgotten to collect
h,s nickel.
The old-fahtoned housekeeper who used
to bustle around so much thst she woro
holes In the front of her aprons now has
a married daughter -e. ho sits around so
much that she wears holes In the rear of
her kimonos. Cincinnati Enquirer.
MTTSIirGS 0? A CTKTC.
The dead sure thing Is often mora dead
than sure.
AH men have equal rights, but lots of
them sre left.
A food and his money sr soon parted,
frequently with alimony.
The only time a hypocrite isn't busy 1
when the devil has nothing for him to do.
You slwsys have to look out for eome
fellows, and others will bear looking into.
If we could see ourselves as others see
us. conceit would drug oa the market
Even the athlete may rejoice In the fact
that It's long time between leap years.
Blood will tell, but like lots of other
tale bearers It .loesn't slways tell the
truth.
The race Is not always to the swift.
The faater a man runs In debt, the more
he gets behind.
It takes a mighty clever women to
make up her mind whether she would
rather b clever than pretty.
The' man who has no friends realises
the disadvantages of having no one to
tell his troubles to.
We should all do something to make
ether people happy, even it It Is only to
let them alone.
And man can be thankful for what be
has. It requires a peculiar frame of mind
to be thankful for what we haven't.
New York Times.
DOMESTIC PLASAinXIS.
tabloids or scxracE.
Thst It cannot be upset is the claim
of the Ohio patentee of a aew stepladder
that haa six legs.
Clamps have been patented to prevent
cow kicking or switching her tall ,wlle
being milked.
Aa Indian Inventor's life preserver
consists of two spherical bags, to be In
flated snd fastened to a person with s
belt.
Camera mounted on gunatocks and op
erated by trlfrgers have been Invented by
German for taking photographs from
balloons.
Ink can be removed from light-colored
fabrics by washing with milk, then with
turpentine, rolling up tha goods for bslf
an hour and washing In wster.
A portable motion picture projector
which welgha enly twenty-five pounds
and en be . carried In a ease twice the
site of an ordinary suitcase has been In
vented. After long Investigation a French eel
entlat has deelsred that tuberculosis can
be transmitted by tha persptratloh of a
person affUetad with the disease, the
germ passing through the pores.
"Don't you worry about the danger
Willie, may run into with hla new skates
and sledT"'
"Not as much a we used to. Now we
are devoting our worry to what father
is going to do with his new automobile."
Washington tar.
"And was the production of Hamlet
artistic?"
"For your life, yes. A famous female
impersonator played Ophelia, they had a
lightweight pugilist In aa Hamlet, and
four great base ball players were doing
other parts." Indianapolis News.
"How can you teil a chronic borrower
from any other man?" asked the Old
Fogy.
' kiy th eenae of touch." replied the
Grouch. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Fllmmer Met L'msom down town to
day. He'd Just bought a tin horn, a
triangle, some blocks, a rattleoox, lonw
sleigh bells and a popgun. I didn't know
he had a baby.
Flam so 11 He hasn't. He's a vaudeville
trap-drummer. Those things axe part of
his outfit. Puck.
"Paw, why did they give the officers
the medals?"
"For bravery, son."
"What's bravery, paw?"
"Well, In most cases It's having the
luck to command a lot of mighty good
fighters." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Why didn't you come to our box party
last night?"
"Couldn't make It."
"But we saved a couple of seats for
you."
".Sorry, old chap, but my wife couldn't
find the sock she knits between the arts
for the needy of Europe." Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Mr. Dewer called again this morning,"
aald the new office boy aa Mr. WlUon
entered the office.
"Did you tell him I had gone to Cali
fornia, as I told you. Frank?"
"Yes. sir."
"What did he say?"
"He asked when you would be bcl,
snd I said, 'After lunch." "Indianapolis
News.
TEI GOOD OLD HTJOTf
Frank L. Ptanton. tn Atlanta ' Consti
tution. There a lot of music In 'em the hyiniv
of lorn; ao.
And when some gray-haired brother alngs
the onea I used to know,
I sorter want to take a hand, I think of
days gone by,
"On Jordan'a stormy banks I stand anJ
cast a wistful eye!"
There's lots of music In 'em those dear,
sweet hymns of old.
With visions bright of lands of light and
shining streets of gold;
And I hear 'em ringing singing, where
mem'ry, dreaming, atanda,
"From Greenland icy mountain to In
dia's coral slrancU."
They seem to sing forever of holier,
sweeter days.
When the lilies of the love of God
bloomed white In all the ways;
And I want to hear their music from the
old-time meetln's rise
Till "I can read my title clear to man
sions in the skies."
Wa never needed singin' books In them
old days we knew
Th words, the tun of every one the
dear old hymn book through!
We didn't have no trumpets then, no or
gans built for show.
We only sang to praise the Lord, "from
whom all blessings flow."
An" so I love the good old hymns, snd
when my time shall come
Before my light haa left me and mi
singing lips are dumb
If I can hear 'em aing them then. I I:
paaa without alh
Te "Canaan a fair and tinppy land, where
my poeseasions He."
;w'.;
I - e ---jr. - II
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