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About Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 27, 1914)
smmmwsmwBi w1"" The Omaha Sunday Bee Magazine Page ... . ' ) i . - i , Unromantic New Way of Diicoums!n r tetpimonial rieddbry - ' 1 ' T i v v . ' .. . . 4. ". f .. - .. . - .. . - - -. x ! ... 'Mothcr-m-Uw ! the Very Mot of Meddler," Writes Clara Morris, "What Chance Has a Man Against a Woman Who's Known ii is Wife All Her Ufe. Love Tries, to Keep Her Uut, but 1 here Uught to lie a uw to Do It During the First Year of Marriage." This Is Nell Brtnkley's Charming (Interpretation of the Famous Actress's Idea. $2,000,000 Affections" Worth of Suits for. "Alienation of Make Clara Morris Deplore the Increasing Commercialization That Takes the Money Instead of Getting Even in "The Old LI. ,I." - X MO Mr. George Wilder ' . By CLi4WA MORRIS (Th Famous American Actreia.) FiH the cynic this list of financial pun lBhmentt asked agatnst roeddlera iii matrimonial felicity must be a de lectable banquet, but to any one of senti ment who loves h! own jteople It brines aorrow and humiliation. The greatest thing in the world put on the damaged goods counter with price tag! appended! Ambitions, dreama,. lifelong Ideala, hopes, everything that st&nda tor f&mlly life, carefully calculated In Its wreckage, Just aa you would figure damages on furniture, dishes or potatoes! ' What's the matter with us, anyway? Not thus In olden times no, not even In our own youth were such matters settled. When Paris meddled wth the menage of Menelaus and stole Uiebeautlful Helen tht king dldrt ask any court of the time to award him her "value" In Homerlc Umes currency. Instead, he went out to battle, and there followed the aiege of Troy that gave the world one of lta great est epic poems. What Is tt that has so changed our point of view tor the worse? That It Is for the worse two of the applicants clearly ahow they understand. Nr. George Wilder au aounces that he will give whatever dam ages he rets from Dr. Willis to the American Ked Cross Society. Incidentally, another lira. George Wil der, who figured recently In the divorce courts, took the old-fashioned and the proper way of going straight to her own husband with bar trouble without em barrassing tbinga by the meddlesome ad vice of outsiders. Mr. Barnes will give whatever h gets from Professor Cheneln to the children's Department of the New York Fost-Grad-nate Hospital. Both these etfars show a recognition that the "remedy" asked is at least not a heroic oue. Particularly noticeable is the number of cases la which mamma ln-Uw and papa - la-Uw and other relatives have been the meddlers. r And that'a a phase' of the matter 111 take up later, la the meantime I want to aay that the spectacle of these 12,000,000 worth of "heart-balm" suits need cause no one to rlae up to-day to attk: "Where are e atT" We know. We have struck the bottom of the well. Nor is It that well of pure air a&d saeet water vhere Truth bits smiling. No; it Is a place dank and foul. It is one thing to be a commercial peo ple, but quite another thing to be commer cialised, as we tcoBt surely are coming to ' - be. As rust defaces and destroys Iron, so gold may defaoe and destroy the most precious qualities In human nature note the passing of bold sincerity and sturdy self-respect from our one-time plain people. We have become money-changers In the temple of life. Men woo yes. and win with dollars. Oh, yes, money is some conversationalist. , , I don't believe a De Stael could get "a look in" with the wit of a thousand-dollar bilL Our young glrU chatter prices of fura and engagement rings. Mammas keep tab on incomes and total up possible alimony. Quite small children reject gifta sullenly because a companion haa more expensive .ones. It is this commercial spirit thai in spires men and women to bring these ugly alienation aulta and try to brace the court for damages aa "heart balm" heaven save the mark! I doubt there Is a wounded or broken heart in this whole waiting crowd. When there U a great throbbing wound In a living heart the owner asks of God or man first darkness and silence in which to sgontze in decent privacy. And the men who bring suit asking money payment for a lost love! Though, to be fair. I suppose the injured husband really regards the money as so much blood drawn from the very heart of his rival. Time was, aa I have aald, when revenge waa not without a certain rough nobility; but to-day, stripped of courage, it has fallen to mere malice. Alienation suits by busbandai What, oh, what has become of thst "chastity of honor which felt a atala as a wound V The thing that'startlea us the most Is, I think, the glare of light these suits throw upon the dangers surrounding modern married life. The crueleat menace to Us continuity la aa old aa marriage itself, but hitherto it has been veiled from public view by some such term as incompatibility of temper, or general trreconcilableness, or even failure to provide; but here the veil la torn aside and we plainly see what a holy error an "In law" can be. The re lations of the newly married pair are more dangerous to them than would be aa ama teur's gathering of wild mushrooms for their dinner. In the argot ot the day these meddlers are many and always on the Job. Mamma, sister, papa, auntie, grandma, pretty fairly places them la the order of their, activities as home spoilers, and the reason d'etre ot their conduct is that Jeal ousy, which is more cruel than the grave, knowing neither Justice nor mercy. Yet these "know-Jtl!s,M these ossnallfl.,, try to deceive themselves by tying on the mask of family affection and sweetly ex plain that they "Just offer a little advice or gentle admonishment to the dear young Ignorant things in order to start them properly." Start nothing!' When young animals SQte and aeek a new lair Tiger Mamma doesn't come snuffing about to tell them where to place the bedding or bones. Very young blrde mate and build their nests, and no feathered mother, real or "In-law." twitters a single twitter of criti cism or advice. All these young things are left to go it 'alone. It ia only in young human beings that the instinct ot home- making is supposed to be nil, according to the dear meddler. The most trying year in life is the first one ot marriage. It may prove tOxbe sweet, sacredly precious, aoddenly . bitter or secretly tragic. Dut ever and alwaya, . It must be trying! Pitfalls are none the less pitfalls because hidden with rose leaves. But it teara fall and fall they will warm Hps will kiss them away. If strained nerves snap and snap they will why, sharp words, like many other things, simply mean forgiveness, aud for giveness, and forgiveness, if they are left alone with no interfering friend to advise. v "Don't you give in first, my dear. Right or wrong, rever give in to a man or it ruins him"" thus to the bride. And to blm: "You want to be master now,' right from the start. Well, suppose she is crytcgt Don't you go coaxing for giveness or youH spoil her sure," etc., etc.. etc. ' As eucfa a record ot broken vows, hearts and homes would at least prove whst a bull in the china shop ot love a meddler la, and perhaps public opinion. If not the law, might make a aeparate domicile, how ever modeet, obligatory for the first year of married life. Relations ought to be pro hibited from entering the home during this troublesome first year. Ctpyrlabt, 114. by the Star Coiupacy The $2,000,000' Love Suits. The following lit, compriung $2,000,000 worth of ' "litnrioB of ffcliott" uit recently filed with the Supreme Court of New York, U what prompted Clare Morri to write this article. Telcnoa Cuyler vs. habella T. Bertin. $500,000 demeget. Brownio R. Weavertoa vs. Caroline W. Frame, $250,000. Max F. Klet v.. Edward N. Breirung ,$250,000. William B. Blackwell v. John Mayer. Jr.. $200,000. Manhall S. Bayoey vt. Alexender S. Chaatin. $100.00). Edna 1 Brother v. Brainard Avery at aL, $100,000. ' Cotutance H. Boggt vs. John C Boost et al $100,000. Maude T Thomptoa va, Loune A. ThompeoB, $100,000. Emilte B. Ritlev vt. May E. Hatting. $IOO,000 Henrietta R. Hanton vt. Amaiee L. Hanson, $100,000. Margaret McAlistcr vt. Loirtla McAlitter, $50,000. Eugene S. Van Riper vt. Frank H. Ray and wife. $50,000. George H. Wilder vt. George S. Willie, $50,000. lna Caroa vt. Herman Morda, $25,000. Elizabeth E. Armttrong vt. Pearl Abbott, $23,000 Total. $2,000,000. J Here is a -suggestion that might reduce the number of alienation suits. Relatives harass the young couple from Jealousy that one they love can find happi ness with a mere outsider also from the sheer love ot bossing. That is clear enough. "But, why " people often won der and ask of one another. "Why do two loving, clear-headed young people permit anyone to Interfere with their affairs (no one has such a right), and why dues not the husband assert him self?" Well, you see, the bride and groom are very far from being "clear-headed." Their illusions are still' with them, ftelr eyes are ao dim with dreams that they have not yet aeen each other aa plain everyday man and woman. They are not in a norma, state ot mind. They are nervous, exalte sensitive, and demand of life nothing short of perfect happiness. Ot adapting, of giv ing and taking, ot forgiving, they have as yet no thought, since they have known each other fcokv long? Months? Perhaps only for weeks. (Make a mark right there with the thumbnail, please.) Now when mamma comes upon the ecene she gener ally appears as a "Greek bearing gifts,'' with the usual re sults. Just note the wo man's advantagea. From birth this bride has been her constant study. She knows every turn and twist of her mind, every good point, evry weak trait, every strong trait in her char acter. (Refer to that thumbnail mark above.) Then there ia the inborn, ingrained re spect, sometimes reverence, that a child teela for a mother. The affection. In stinctive and cultivated, tinged with grati tude, that makes it almost impossible for a daughter to bold out in stem opposition agalnat her even when she knows her mother to be an obstacle to her domestic peace. Add to these her real knowledge of housekeeping,' and then set all thia over against the general ignorance of the bride and the groom's ignorance of his wife's character, aud tell me what chance the youngsters have to get away with it all. It'a mighty hard for a man to aet hia face like a flint against his wife's mother or sister especially when one or the other of them haa first Informed said wife that a range often possesses things called damp era that are of considerable use at times or some like service. When mamma's, Innuendoes get on' tht, little wife's nerves and she knows she is growing exigent and trying she Just can't break away from the lifelong habit ot re spect and obedience. What, scrap with that incessant, dropper ot hints, her own mother! Heaven forbid! And If there'a been a quarrel, and moth-, ' er-ln-law la there, what a tragedy! Love, who knows the two would make up if left alone, tries to push her out. She Just can't help making things worse. To marry an only child (mark that three tn family) la to place a prohibitory tarli'r on your own domestic happiness, because in the case of an only child mamma and papa will both meddle. Again, there is husband and wife tete-a-tete. All is well. Enter Mr. "Meddler" the party of the third part and trouble doth ensue. Certainly three la not a lucky number in lta relation to love and mar riage.. But the question ot the moment is Will the court give gilt-edged damages in these alienation suits? Inthat case they may possibly act as a . brake on that too-exuberant gallantry that is without conscience, but not wholly tree ' from financial considerations. Even a gilded sinner might hesitate to flutter the dovecote ot his closest friend If It was likely to cost him an eighth of a million or so. If the alienation should cause Don Juan to cross over to the other side it would not be utterly without credit. ' But the meddlers, like the poor, are alwaya with us, and, alas! it is probable they alwaya will be. Oh, let the newly married have a year that trying first year. If young married life is ever to become old married life, . Love must find the way. So glvw him a-chance. And as Love and Honor are the two great, wings that lift us Into high, clear spaces, let us not welghf them to helplessness with gold. How to Make More Boys and Girls Stay on the Farm --STJNTRY , children should be f taught in' terms of country life," ' declares W. T. Hodgea In a bul letin Just Issued by the United States Bureau of Education, in order to make them atay on the farm." In order to discover some of the defi nite things that have been done In rual public schools toward infusing Into both parents and puplla the "atay-on-the-farm" spirit. Mr. Hodgea sent 9.500 letters to superintendents throughout the country who have rural schools under their sup ervision. From the replies many augges tiona of special value have been seceived. Farm arithmetic, farm geography and Great Hnttiu Bights Reserved- textbooks in agriculture have been ee cureed by Berks County, Pennsylvania; Newton County. Missouri, haa succeeded In making the school s community centre by having work done to supplement thst done at home and by inducing patrons to visit the schools. The latter Is accom plished by the "old farm-wagon and big dinner" plan, whereby aa many a 2,000 persons in the community have visited one school on a certal nday in the year. 1 A teacher ot, Warren County, Indiana, who gave her puplla the "option of work in agriculture or Virgil" waa astonished to find thatin practically every Instance the students took both subjects, and the grades rose beyond anything ever before experienced. . i "We have improvised domestic science teaching by means of coal-oil stoves and kitchen uteuslls which the patrons of the , ricbool gave through a 'kitchen shower,' esys an enthusiastic teacher from Chester Township. Ohio. A teacher who waa not a graduate In domestic science, but who . i bad "grit and determination," put , the girls of this school to work in preparing hot lunches which were sold at a few, cents. . . ( Plalnville Township, Connecticut, se lects one school in each village and makes of It a "model school" to demonstrate what a rural school under ordinary eon dltlona may become. The result has been! that the standard In all the schools In the county has been elevated