'J I IF, BKK: t- I OMAHA. TURSDAV. i-j KCK.IBK1. 1914., THE, OMAHA DAILY BEE FOUNDED BY EDWARD ItO&KWATEK. VICTOR ROSE WATER, EDITOR. The Be Publishing Cotnpsny. Proprietor. KEB BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH. F.ntered at Omtbt poetofflre aa second-class matter. TKRMS of suBacmmoN. , Br cirrlw By mall per month rr year. iially afl funnse 9 Tell without riiinday....' esc FVanlng an.t ftunrtav W! .n Kvenlng without -Sunday .M. 4.00 Punday Bee only I-00 Fer.1 notlre of charge of adlrrse or complaints of Irregularity la delivery to Omaha, Bee, Circulation Department REMITTANCK. Remit by draft. enpress or postal order. Only two rent stampa received In payment of amall ae rounts Fenwmal checks, except on Omaha and eaatarn exchange, not accepted. 1 1 i - OKFI( ES. Omaha The Bee Rullrilng South Omaha SMS N street. Council Muffs M North Main atreet. Lincoln Llttla Building. Chlraro n Hearst Rulldlng. New York Room Fifth avenue. Bt. Iula-K New Bank of Commerce. ' Wsshlngton 7 Fourteenth Bt.. N. W. CORRESfONDENCB. Address communications ratstlng to news and edi torial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. XOVKMBEB CIRCTLATIO. 52,531 Etate of Nebraska, County of Dougtss, aa. twlght Williams, circulation manaer of Tha Fee Publishing company, being duly aworn. aaya that tha average dally circulation for tha month of No. V ember, 1914. wil 13.1X1. DWIUIIT WlLl AMP, Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence and aworn to before me, this 7th day of Dwmibw, 114. ROUEKT HUNTER. : ,-tary rublla Btthacribers leaving the city temporarily hoald have The lie mailed to them. Ad dress will bo chanced aa often aa requested. Effect of Bank Legislation. AniwerlDf Inquiries from 8outh Dakota about tha working of our Nebraska deposit guar anty law, the secretary of the date Banking board replies that only on state bank has failed sine Its adoption, while eighteen national btnks htve taken out state charters. II should have added Information about the number of state banks that hare nationalised because of the guaranty law, and the comparative amount of deposits and capital Involved In each transfer. He might have added, also, that except for the gusranty law a much larger number of national banks would undoubtedly have Uken out state charters to get away from the 'requirements of the new federal reserve act. But at best a full exhibit of these operations would prove noth ing except that the banks consult their own in terest primarily and are controlled by the ad vantages they think they would. reap from re taining or abandoning national or state Incor poration, as the case may be. It's a skimpy snowfall that blows nobody good. ' " ' " ' ' ' " The president's diction Is superb nd with out contradiction. Listen, boys and girls, yon can almost hear lils bells a-jlDgllng sow. .. , . How te Create Sax Problems. Headline. But is that the question that bothers .Yet It U rather hard, to work up' agitation among tha American people over the art of their coins. I Those western railroads will not be happy so long as the pastern roads get all '.the rate increases. No truly benevolent person of limited means is ever able to give halt aa much as he, would wish to. ' Mere "Piecei of Paper." Judging from the case of Mr. Walter John son and one or two other celebrities, base ball contracts count for no more in these days of war and adversity than international peace treaties mere "pieces of paper." The famous Washington pitcher aliens up for three years with a Federal league c.fub despite the fact that he is still bound to Washington by a clause in his former agreement giving that club an option on his services for another year. Then after sign ing with the Federals and accepting $6,000 as a bonus, heeding the argument of the Washing ton management as to the binding effect of this option clause, he signs up with his old employers for two years, presumably for a larger bonus. The question is, How long can base ball sur vive such deliberate rejection of the principles that govern other lines of business, the principles of common honesty and legal obligations. Of course, civil suits are threatened for the pro tection of rights and the. player is denounced for his duplicity But it would be Idle to at tempt to lay all the blame on the player, who Is a young man, of less mature judgment than the co-called business men angling for his services.. It takes two to make a deal, and the player alone, however indifferent he might be to legal or ethical restrictions, could not do what John son and so many have done without the owner or manager, or both. Base ball has recently been given some se vere and costly lessons on the subject of frenzied finance and will have more if it is not careful. The public will not Ion meekly condone even in its famous game and sport, derelictions that would be intolerable in any ordinary business transactions.'' ' It will take days to figure out just hot many millions of dollars this foot of snow la worth to Nebraska. Adieu, Little Shirtwaist. Where now is that sapient prophet who told as a few years ago that, come what may In mandates for style from her imperial majeaty, Dame Fashion, the shirtwaist "is here to stay?" In verse and song its paeans of praise were sung. It was a tning 01 neauiy ana a joy forever," for it so deftly combined the ele ments of ornamentation and utility and made milady look smart, chic, charming oh, all that and more. It was made ' in all sorts of ways and styles. There was the tight fitting, the long-sleeve, the short-sleeve Now offhand, just as if you had a week) Iff, shirtwaist, and varieties as many, as modistes "Lincoln has 15-cent water as against Omaha's 23-cent rate, and it does not meter the ewer flush tanks either. The man who contributes 90 cents to the eonsclence fund sets the lead for the fellow who awes it 90. Watch him follow suit. In the Wake of the War Where I'aal Joaes Waa rar, Tha German cruisers which raided the east coaat English towna of Scarborough. Whitby and Hartle pool boomed hostile gun over the waters on wlilrh Captain John Paul Jones and the Bon Homme Rich ard won imperishable fame 'for the American navy during tha revolution. That famoua aea battle waa fought off Flamborongh Head, a few mllea south of Scarborough, on' September 33, 177. Not sltce that historic afternoon 135 ytars ago haa the sound. of hos tile guns been heard In Scarborough, and never be fore haa a hostile shell exploded In that aeacoaat resort, because sheila are a modern development In these same waters the Bon Homme Richard found Ita grave. Captain Jones stuck to the hostile Scrapie so closelr, lashed togethtr, In fact, that when the latter struck Its Dag he took charge, transferred hla crew to Its decks and let hla own ship, damaged beyond repair, so to the bottom two days later. The thunder of the guns In that sea duel was plainly heard in Scarborough, and the Inhabitants were In dread that Jones would salt In where the Germans did and batter down the houses. Hindu soldier has Victoria Cross for Hindu. For the first time Id history received the Victoria Cross. It is stilted that the granting of this decoration Is not merely the recognition of an Individual valor, hi Is a testimonial tc the efficiency and courage of the Indian troops In European warfare. The recipient of tha Victoria Cross la Harlldar Osgna Wnsh of the Fifty-seventh Wildes Rifles. He waa attacked with fifteen othera In the trenches Juat before dawn. The enemy waa held back several sec onds by barbed wire and sustained serious losses be fore they succeeded In getting past. In the hand-to-hand fight which followed Oagna Plngh shot a Herman officer, seised hla sword an! killed ten other Germans before he was wounded with a rifle ball In the foot. He was left the sole survivor of the fifteen men. Oagna Blngh arrived nt Boulogne In the hospital ship a bundle of splints and bandages, but very cheer ful and full of heart. He haa five bullet wounds. n In tho leg, one In the chest, one In each hand and one on the scalp from a revolver shot fired point blank, Eligibility to the Victoria Cross was one of the boons granted by the kins-emperor to the Indian subjects at the Delhi Durbar of IMS. Far Beaches of War. Buried in banks of fog. drenched by drlisllng rains, swept by hitter winds from the Antarctic, the Falk land Islands are surely the most dismal of Oreat Britain's family of organized colonies, eays the Cleve land Plain Dealer. The rain ceases only when the wind blows ita fiercest, the fog hanga low and heavy except when the gales whip It to shreds. It Is a tree, less land; part barren rocks, and part grassy slopes. A day of sunshine Is a rare Joy. Tlerra del Fuego is Its nearest nelghborr"The people, some 3.000 In Burn-her,- aro sturdy descendants of Scotch emigrants, and tho sheep that browse on the eternally damp hills are their only source of revenue. Yet there Is a capital, a government and a governor duly appointed by the crown and sent to suffer virtual exile for a tints among the moist shepherds of the antipodes. The Falkland islands appeal to the Imagination aa the remotest, loneliest and least desirable of all lands Inhabited by Europeans. The war, one would think, would scarcely send Its faintest ripple to . this for gotten Arcadia of wetness and desolation. Tt It was off the coast of the Falklands that the war's greatest naval battle haa been fought The vic torious German Pacific squadron, having entered the Attantlo to eacape the British and Japanese hunteri of the sea, were met by a mysterious and unreported British force sent all the way from the North Sea to the Antarctic on a definite mission of destruction. ; And so the land of the Falkland shepherds stands very clearly on the map today. A few weeka ago the Cocoa Islands. Isolated In the equatorial drift of the Indian ocean, witnessed the destruction of the gallant Emden. Japan has drawn attention toYep and Jalult and other palm-crowned coral specks of the vast Pa cific. But when the war reached Falkland It was at the Jumplng-off plane, to nowhere. C.1 ' 3 It which to think It over w hat Is the name of the present provisional president of Mexico T The Lincoln Journal says our senior sena tor's bill to prohibit arms export is just a clever political play. Oh. perish the thought! A war photo shows a company of soldiers playing foot ball while awaiting a call to the trenches. Nothing like keeping Ja fighting form. Paradoxcally, the soldiering in Europe is a contributing cause to the Immense amount of soldiering going on- at present In our own country. . r . 'But remember that. when we spend upward of f 10,000 of the taxpayer's money to atUck metere to the sewer flush tanks, it will gHj a job to another meter reader. ; : 1 r i Over $900,000 of unpaid Nebraska state treas ury warrants are outstanding. And our etate constitution cays there shall be no state debt in time of peace In excess of fl00.000. , A Missouri county1 judge, evidently going on the theory that to be ''forewarned is to be fore armed." proposes to keep the grand jury In ses- slon during the whole term of legislature. . The rapidity with which these "decisive" bat- ties follow each other would suggest an early ending of the war if the same batUe were not Invariably heralded as a-victory for both sides. to make them. There was the low-cut shirtwaist, the peekaboo shirtwaist, the . loose, lingering shirtwaist that looked so Inviting. (With apol ogies to the old oaken bucket.) And some said It never would go. But it haa gone. "Doomed, ' is ue wora oi tne imperious dame, whose word no well dressed woman would 4 ever think of defying. "The shirtwaist has out lived Its popularity," says the seer. It Is the one- piece ault from now on, beginning close up to the ears for the high collar is coming backand continuing to the feet, giving milady that tall, graceful, sinuous effect. As to material, fine serge, gaberdine, silk cashmere,' faille, ' satin cloth, taffeta and poplla will do. Nor la this a foreign Importation. Our American modistes, you know, are trying on their own. garments now and if they suit, per haps they will not need the foreign styles when the war ends. The flat of the Fashion Art League of America is back of this decree, and it takes "art" to make a thing like style go. The charge that we have a lot of ornamental jajroll positions in the city ball can, we have no doubt, l-e readily esubllehed. But that is not the only place where they are. The Water board payroll, the School board payroll, the County tord payroll, and the sUte payroll could each be subjected to some real pruning without im pairing the service to the public. i I if- Vs. Mtti.4 tluM til Situ Tooay was tne coldest of tha season. The mercury went down to 17 degrwes below aero, and the man who predicted an open winur took his departure for the -sw vneana expos'Uon and the Florida orange groves. George II. Hammond of Chicago, tn romun. .uk John H. McHliane, arrived In tne city for a personal Inspection of the now slaughter houses at the stock yams, wnico air. Hammond haa leaaed. Fourteen homeless and sbeiUrleas tramps alcpt i ins city jau last night George Wedlock, the veteran ssxton of Prospect Hill cemrtery. celebrated his sixty-aecond blrthdsA Jle waa remenitwrrd by the Coffin rlub, which haa Its rendesvous at Drcxel it Maul's undertaking rooms. wiia a oeeuurui .warm neckscarl. A number of prominent citlsens met at the Paitoa to take atepa toward securing the stats fair tor an other five years. N. B. Falamer preaidsd. and Henry utbaon acted aa secretary. A committee waa appointed to pursue the subject, consisting of Frank Culpetaer, Frank KSichrn, Max Ueycr, Al I'strick and W. V. Morse. ' ' Miss Floia Blackbjrn, who., has keen teaching school at North I'Utte, Is spending the holidays with her brother, T, W. UUckburn, Osf Ooo4.wa U Lame from scbeot for kla fcoll- ty vacation. California's Awakening, ; Business and public interests In California have warned "those seeking employment" not to go to that state, which is already overrun with idle men and women. For every demand for work there are said to be many applicants, and this condition cn the eve of the Ban Francisco and San Diego expositions is causing soma uneasiness. California, with Ita mild, salubrious winter climate, naturally will continue to attract peo ple of all classes, from the rich pleasure-seeker down to the professional hobo seeking an easy existence. In between these two extremes come thousands of energetic men and women wanting work. But California, as it doubtless realizes at tnU late date, is not wholly blameless for ita present situation. It has gone In 'entirely too much for boom advertising, lacking candor In the discussion of Its actual economic affairs. It has In a way sown to the wind and is now reap ing the whirlwind. . As the friends and admirers of the great Golden West, we of the still greater middle west hope for an early improvement in conditions, but also that the force of this rather severe les son wil not be lost on California. People and; Events Btlll another local contemporary has joined la The Bee's demand for the abolition of the office of coroner as a relic of ancient days that haa degenerated into a graft, pure and simple. The only reason the people have stood for the coroner game so long without effective protest is that they have been busy unloading other and worse grafts. Speaking of cutting off needless public em ployes, our law-makers have a wonderful oppor tunity themselves to set a shining example .at the outset of their session whan they make up the payroll list of doorkeepers, committee clerks, coat-holders, bill room boys, cuspidor cleaners and other on-hangers. , ' Our state senator does not make clear, how ever, just what tt Is that has changed him from an ardent advocate of Greater Omaha consolida tion two years ago to Its outspoken opponent today. t i.nha at amntv wocketbooks as well aa lock smiths. A youngster in Los Angeles, who could not scrape up enough for the marriage license tee. ooiaiy touched tha clerk for the balance and got it.. The average marriage license clerk would rather die poor than halt a honeymoon. Short In stature but long In good deeda eharacter laed tha life of Miss Florence Tate, age 48. who Is dead at her home In Granite City. 111. Miss Tate was only twenty-four Inches tall and almost a life invalid. . yet she was the most efficient organiser and booster of good deeds her native city haa known. The court of appeals at Sprlngflald. Mo.. hUa wildcat stock companies a bodw blow. In a case In which a local company put out $48,000, while Ita actunl property was less than 11.000. the court ruled that stockholders are liable to the extent of their stock for the excess of capitalisation over real property. Nsw York county paid out tOO.OOO in prosecuting Henry Stegwl for looting the savings bank department of hts store, but didn't get much for the money. Siegel got off with a sentence of ten months In the penitentiary, with the underatandlng that If he makes substantial restitution the sentence will be suspended Indefinitely. How old was Mrs. Frank Leslie, or. aa she pre ferred. Baroness de Bar us T Obituaries gave her age as 3. and "Who's Who" gives the same f'urea, stat ing that she waa born In New Orleans In 185L The family contest over the baroness' will In New York brings' out the statement that she was M years eld at the time of her death. H. J. and C. D. Hathaway, twin brother, the for mer residing. In Main, the latter In California, ara viewing tha slghta In Sacramento together tor the first time In sixty-one years. They were kids of 13 In the days of the Argonauts and sailed around Cape Horn to the golden state, drawn thither by the high note of fortune atruck at Sutter's Mill. The brothers are four score and one. Word Is passing along the line to descendants of Lord Baltimore that there la $400,000,000 of property In Baltimore which may be recovered by the heirs If they wilt chip Into a common pot enough ootn to boost a legal flKht The estimated value of the prop erty at stake throws In the shade the mythical es tate of Aneka Jana, tha moat persistent of Dutch dreams kept alive In New Tork City. "The good old days of the pass" ! a theme worthy of the best vocal effort of passenger traftio managers v. innin -mrrm aurh tonnage of remlnlacence. ,iu. .i rmalvM frtendahlDS. now congealed In the frost of romping years. The glad hands that v.ii.h ih. iitaiianaara of Daasea morning, noon and night no longer reach out In hearty clasps; the whis pered appealing melody wnu n mmes aooineo. weary ears la hushed, perhsps forever. And the good that waa handed out tn tripa and annuala la forgotten and smothered by the subsequent cruelty of coughing up r.h it la a theme, too. that strikes a long note I of loneliness around headquartare, JR. Where Does the Mowey (Ml OMAHA. Dec. 31. To the Editor of The Bee: I think I sm one who responds to calls for charity aa much aa anyone pro portionate to hla means, but In view of recent money-raising exploits In the name of charity, I am constrained to ask. Where does the money go? Does It really go to help anyone who needa help? Or does the bulk of It go to promoters, 'pro fesalonala and expense .accounts that have no claim on charity? Please let me ask a few questions through your paper. The first roundup this year, I recall, waa a "tag dny" for the visiting nurses, and we were all duly tagged. 1 do believe someone announced that the proceede were upwards of $3,000, but I never saw gny statement of the expense of the undertaking. How much was tagged In? And how much of It went Into the treas ury or the Visiting Nurses? Then there was ''The College Hero" benefit of the Child Saving Institute. This show filled the public prints and filled the theater for four performances, If we were correctly advised. 1 bought tickets for it and know that the house was full the night I attended. I read later that the promoter carried away some $1,400 with him and that the Child Saving Institute got $1,300. But how much was tsken in and where did the rest go? Yes, and what about those graphic moving pictures of the war that held forth a whole week for the relief of the Belgians? The World-Herald did most of tha drumming and horn-blowing for this and claimed exclusive credit for it. I bought tickets and saw the pictures, and I saw one statement In the World-Herald about the middle of the week that 4.300 admissions had already been registered, but nowhere have I seen anything to show the final results. How much was taken In? How much of It did the World Herald absorb? How much of It did the moving picture mnn pocket? How much really went to relieve the starving Bel gians? The latest was the grand charity ball at the Auditorium put through with a rush, and a swirl of professional dancers, here for the money and not for their health. What were the total receipts of this campaign in which all our worthy charities were to share? The profes sionals. It Is understood, got, or were to get, 31,500, and the hall and the dance muelo were donated. Were there any other expenses?. How much la left for charity? And how much- docs each of the worthy charities get? Oh, I almost overlooked the other char ity ball the one given without any pro- fessional assistance for the benefit of the Creche. How much was taken In by that ball? And how much waa spent? And how much wss left for the Creche? Wouldn't It be a travesty to learn that the Creche charity ball netted more for charity than the other grand blowout? Won't you invite the managers of these various charity entertainments to make a full report of the money collected and expended so I, and others like me, may . not be left wondering whether we were contributing on the square to the un fortunate, or were merely worked In the name of charity? Now, I am giving you my name, but aa my impertinence is not likely to make me popular, I ask you to withhold It and sign only, .INQUISITIVE. Helalam, Ueraawy and Vatted States SCpTTS BLUFF, Neb., Dec. 2I.-TO the Editor of The Bee: Wl you kindly glvj me space to correct the erroneous Im pression your caption gave my recent ar ticle In The Bee? I' did not say, or mean, -that I objected to the Belgium re lief fund. I said, "Why not ask Ger many, to feed the people they' nad robbed?" In the name of humanity, let all who are able to give contribute freely to the relief of this unfortunate nation, and in addition congress should appropriate at least $100,000,000 for their relief, and when the proper time comes 'compel Germany to reimburse us. One writer, A. L. Meyer, who haa con tributed column after column to The Bee's Letter Box trying to make "blaok look white," takes occasion to call me "Ignorant and prejudiced." I may be Ig norant, but I am not prejudiced. I bai my opinion solely on the merits of the case. I am nof so "Ignorant" that I do not know that the present outrageous slaughter In Europe Is of the kaiser's own making. Hla ambition to be "em peror of Europe" and build "a German Roman empire that shall rule the world" will be hU downfall, juat as Napoleon's ambition . was hts undoing. and Roosevelt'a ambition goaded him on to political suicide, J. F. WETBRIGHT. twice Told Tales II. U Blrk.Wlttcd Asst. r-.v.r..K..B at a Waahlngton rlub the other even ing dwelt on tho subject of rising equal or superior to a tight situation. rHateamen present unfolded many a quip relating to their political experience. Senator Newell Sanders of Tennese told of a quick-witted young aunt. Koine time ago little Dorothy waa being taken on a railroad trip by her young aunt and aunty's fiance, Everything ran along aa lovely as great Joy until 'he train entered a darksome tunnel, and then came the delicious smack of a sweet kiss and the voice of the child. . Oh, aunty," exclaimed the voice of the innocent little Dorothy, "pleaae Klsa me. too!" Home situation, but aunty waa ulte equaL-to It Before the smile of the passengers could break Into a tickled titter she was calmly addressing the child "It Is Incorrect to say. 'Kiss me two.' Dorothy, dr," said aunty. "Ycu should say. 'KUs me twice " St. Louis Poat-Clrpatca. Political Pointers New Tork World: Myron T. Herrick's remark that his diplomatic experience In France coat him $4no,0"0 may explain In some degree the painful reluctance of the Parisians to let him go. Boston Transcript: We have a sus picion that no adequate Immigration bill will ever be enacted In this country save In the last half of the term of some presi dent who has a grudge against his own party. St Louis Globe-Democrat: We forget to whom we last awarded the world's hamplonshlp medal for optimism, but he should voluntarily relinquish It to the Washington officials who "are greatly cheered over the Mexican situation.'' Pittsburgh Dispatch: Poland's case Is a little better than that of Belgium. She aa the solace of seeing her ancient op pressors chaalng each other over her ter ritory and hitting each other stunning blows whenever they get the chance. Washington Star: Millions of dollars worth, of battleships converted Into Junk and sent to the bottom of the sea repre sent a highly expensive method of im pressing the principles of patriotism, cul ture and the higher Ideals In general. Springfield Republican: Does Senator Works perhaps think that the ,moit humane way to end a war Is to starve the women and children? That la the nature of an embargo on food, for the man behind the gun has to be fed first New York Post: The Arlxona law limit ing the employment of foreign labor must have been framed In gleeful consciousness that the nation most affected can now make no diplomatic protests. Of the state's 4X.O0O foreign-born, approximately 30A0 are Mexicans. , Pittsburgh Dispatch: The Information that the Relchsrath cheered the vote of $1,250,000,000 more debt to carry on the war, carries the suggestion that It Is a good deal more cheerful thsn the next generation will be In putting up taxes to pay off the debt Philadelphia Record: Secretary of State Bryan makes haste to assure his fellow citlsens that he does not contend that to be a good democrat means to be a prohibitionist Thta will be gratifying to very many democrats, who, much as they may desire to accept Mr. Bryan's Inter pretation of democracy, would likely not have followed him had he continued to press the prohibition Idea. A flock of aspirants for the post mas tership of Jefferson City, Ho., throws such a scare Into the congressman and senator controlling the Job that a pri mary Is talked of to switch responsibility fcr the selection. Down south political Interest centers just now on the pardoning activities of retiring Governor Blease of South Care Una; Sporty people are offering odds en the proposition that . the governor will make a. clean sweep of all jailbirds be fore he relinquishes the office. Twenty yeare ago the supreme court of Illinois declared unconstitutional law limiting women's hours of labor tn certain occupations. Recenty the same court, differently constituted, congratu lated the state on having placed en the statute hooka a dosen laws of similar tenor. Judges broadea out or move eut The supreme court of Missouri de nounces the clauses of the primary law which require candidates te pay fixed feea te their respective party committees. "Such a law," one of the Judges said. "la against sound publio policy, and Is enough to make every honest man la the state hide his face In shame." . Should the progressives auraerically dominant In the legislature of California fulfill pre-election pledges, future elec tions in the state will be conducted on the nonpartisan basis. The party la com mitted to the elimination of party des'g luUlona from tickets, aad a law to that effect. It is expected, will be enacted. A fow weeks ago Pittsburgh got front page publicity with the news that its council men, as a measure of economy, had agreed to cut their own sal art ea The extraordinary nature of the news. considering the source, glued attention on the home effect Fortunately, the tension haa been relieved by a ruling of the mayor to the effect that the law def lnltely fixes compensation of coucilmen, and it cannot be violated with Impunity. go great la couactl manic esteem for the law that they have reluctantly accepted the mayor's Interpretation. Pittsburgh Is Itself once more. Editorial Viewpoint JOLLIES FROM JUDGE. Producer The comedlsns seemed nerv ou. What thrv'neeled was life. Crlilc You're too severe! Twenty years would be enough. "I never knew until Inst night what a bright fellow Mr. Flddlewlt la" "II m. How did you find It out then?" "He told me." Crawford Does your wife beg you for Christmas money? Crahshaw I wouldn't put It exactly that way. She issues an ultimatum, SheIsn't she a ssrniloua bore? He Weill, no; because I manage to work cut all my next day's problems while she chatters. "Did your children recognise you when you played Santa Claus last year?" "I hopo not If- they did it was very rude of them to keep on referring to me aa the funny little fat man with the squeaky voice. ,."T find," confessed "skimpy little Mr. Meek, "that 1 do the housework easier and quicker when my wife Is not at home to help me "Pa, how do architects and ""builders make so much money?" "Th, m.lf. MKn . .... , - , -j ...vv vi ,!, ujr implying In putting billiard rooms in houses where uwu w.rr, yin& w uimaras. Niuage. CAUGHT NAPPING BT SANTA. A fisherman laddie, the night before Christmas. Sailed home very hungry aad sad from the Isthmus, Whore haddock had learned to beware. 'It's I who is caught in the net, like a sturgeon. And cast on the merciless bank of mis fortune," He mused, bowing low In despair. Declaring the story of Santa Ctaue fsble. His long stocking cap he knocked off of the table. Which caught on the foot of the bed; And, closing hts eyes, he was soon lost - in slumber And failed to arouse at the jingle aad lumber A visitor made with his sled. "I see." said old Santa, en making his entry. "This boy Is expecting" with peep la the pantry "A whole lot of good things to eat." He filled up the cap with a number of dishes, t And Is id on the top a half dosen cooked fishes, . . . Then rattled off into the street, . "Well, well!" said the youth,' as he wehe at five-twenty The following morning. "Why, here Is a plenty For days and, why, here Is some more! If there la no Santa, then I am a -cheating. The proof of the pudding la found In the rating. So here s to the saint of the poor!" Omaha. , WILLIS HtTDSPETII. Ti XT -M . T .11 1 ixo -onrastmas inner win ue complete without Italian Swiss Colony Golden State Extra Dry California Champagne Awarded the "Grand Frit" of Turin, Italy, October, 1911, and at Ghent, Belgium, July, 1913 Mi mis 1J At all 6rocer?, Clubs, Cafes and Wine Dealers iata ifezzmi Tmi ?3 JE3.I J : jjj a- fe 4.,s..a k I ' 1 The new Ford Coupelet brings the unmatchable low price, the small expense of maintenance com mon to all Ford cars and the largest measure of modern luxury and class. When the top Is folded (a matter of a minute or so) it Is a snappy, stylish, luxurious roadster; with top raised you have a closed car, cozy and comfort able in inclement and wintry weather. Physicians, architects, contractors, traveling and bnsinass men generally, who demand continual service in a car, will realise every expectation In the Ford Coupelet. Ford Coupelet 1750; Ford Runabout 14 40; Ford Touring Car $490; Ford Town Car $690; Ford Sedan $975. All can fully equipped, f. o. b- Detroit On display and sale at 191S Harney St. II . Buyers will share In profits if we sell at retail 100.00 new Ford ears between August 1114 and August lilt I COMMERCIAL I ENGRAVERS PHOTOGRAPHERS h ELECTROTYPERS ALIUNDE R-ONEOOT ( OMAHA -DEE ENGRAVING -DEPT. OMAHA NEDR. ; v ' "'r' '" ' KW 1 . M , y - lr - - - - - -1 ' - Photo Enlargements Make Good Christmas r resent We have the finest equip ment for making enlargements from negatives or prints- ize up to 10 x 40. Cost depends on slses and finish desired. BEE PHOTO DEPARTMENT 22 Bee .Building. Pbone Tj lr lOOO. i t Y 'i v4