1
AllL inAil V..I..VI i, riillni., ULtuUMV 11.
THE. OMAHA DAILY DEE
rorNnrn bt edward rosk water.
VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDITOR.
The Pee PoMlshlns; Company, Proprietor.
PTH BUlkDINO. FAKNAM AND BKVENTgENTHL
Tnterd at Cmtht postorflce a neoond-claae matter.
: IEKUS Or SUBSCRIPTION.
Py rsrrter Py mall
per month. jr rw.
and rnnda c I
iKlljr without Sunday..,......... -n. ........... 4
KVenln; un1Y. ......... ..... 'J
Fvvnlnc without Sunday...... ......... .Jto. ........... 4.00
Ptinday Be only 1 "2
Send noto of rhn of addrea er eomp'alma '
trrirularity In delivery to Omaha J&ee, Circulation
Impertinent
PFMITTANCB.
Remit hr drift, pres or postal order. "'T, two
rent etampe received In payment of email ae
rount. Personal cherka, except oa Omaha and taatarn
eicbance, not aocepted.
offices.
. Omene Th Bee Putldln
" Bouth Omaha 2211 N atret
." Council Hluff 14 North Mala Street.
Lincoln Little nulldlr.
rUr.. vwMTi Hearst tiu ifl nr.
New tork FWm Fifth evenoe.
Ft. Louts-MS New Bank of Commerce.
Waahlnrton T ourteenin il, h. w.
a CORRE9PONDENCH.
Artdreaa enmnnlctlon relating to iwwi and edi
torial anaUer to Omaha Ilea, Sdltorlnl Department,
SEPTE55 BEIi CHlCCIiATlOJf.
56,519
State ot Nf"Mka, County of Douslaa, aa.
Pwlcht William, circulation manager of Th Pa
TMbllshtnf company, belns; duly sworn, say that
tha avers- dally elreulaUon lot tha month of Sep
tember. 1C14. was .lt.
nWNHIT- WIIJJAMB, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed la my presence and sworn to before
ana. thla td (Jay of October, 114.
1 ROBERT HUNTKR, Notary Publl
Bobecrlber lea ring Om city temporarily
ebosdd kav) Tit B nailed tm thmm. Ad
Oreaa will be changed aa often a rexrnested.
Boosting for Omaha la alwaya In order.
Ai to the Old Mooring?.
Those whoa habit It la to lament the pMi-
lng of our old Ideal of government ahould find
comfort In the emphasis now being laid on
Washington's warning against the dangers of
entangling alliances with other nations In such
times as the present. The president meets with
cordial rerponae to bis every appeal for ad
herence to thla policy, which la at the base of
our neutrality agreement. It serves most sig
nificantly to connect the present with the past.
Never In all the trials and vicissitudes through
which the nation has passed has It found this
old principle a safer guidon.
So, on reflection do we not find that as a
people we have preserved every other doctrine
and tenet the wisdom of which Is affirmed by
time? What of the Monroe doctrine? It has
passed through many crucibles of the severest
sort, but hss withstood the severest test. Men
of different periods have tried to pnt their own
constructions upon it, and today we are being
told all about the "New Monroe Doctrine," but
there stands the old one Just as strong and ef
fective as ever In the accomplishment of Us
original purpose. Do we not , sometimes fall
Into the error of thinking that In the ewlft cur
rent of progress that we are being carried past
the fundamentals, Instead of realising that, be
ing fundamentals, these Ideals are unaffected
by recurring change, but adapt themselves to
each new period and circumstance as It arises.
General Von Kluck
By the way, are you still sitting tight In the
boat?
Is Bait Creep an offshoot ot the River ot
Doubt?
One thing the allies seem to need Is a good
center jush.
The trouble with this engine of war la It baa
no safety valve.
Foot ball heroes are also suffering from lack
of military glamor.
Where Ja the man who assured us the war
would sot last two months? , ,
It appears from recent events that the sew
gun, as well as the new broom, sweeps clean.
When all those congressmen come marching
home, Washington will hardly be on the map.
If, as Intimated, the flood of war booVs Is
ocly starting. It will soon be a veritable deluge.
Brigf i for Sheriff.
The statement to the public and the tax
payers by John E. Briggs, as republican nominee
for sheriff, Is straightforward and to the point,
and should insure his election.
Chief Briggs says right out, not only that
there will be no attempt by him as sheriff to
revive any ancient and discredited Jail feeding
(-raft, but that' he will feel himself amply re
paid for his services by the salary of the office
without additional profits out of the meals fur
nished to prisoners. He will not hire any
lawyers to chop holes In the statutes through
which he can reach Into the county treasury for
more money, but, on the contrary, the method
of feeding prisoners will be put up1 by him to
the county board, and the expense to the tax
payers held to the actual cost of the food served
In proper quantity and prescribed quality.
Every one who knows Chief Briggs will take
this pledge at Its face value, relying on his strict
adherence to It. In this connection, Mr. Briggs
also makes plain bis desire and Intention to run
the sheriff's office without tear or favor In the
way it should be run, so that his official record
will earn him the popular approval necessary to
entitle him to the usual second term accorded
true and faithful public servant.
' Jack London might find ample matter for
another "Call of the Wild" In Europe Just now.
"Monopoly Is to be cut oft at the roots," says
the president. .Why not grub It op and be done
with It?
It would seem , that portable storm cellars
ought to be part of the equipment of every up-to-date
army, .
That Missouri school teacher who Is instruct
ing her boys In needle work must expect the old
fashioned needle gun to come back into use.
Mrs. .Bryan la said to have knitted all
through bar husband's Kansas campaign tour.
Must have one of the family sticking to the knit
ting. ,
While Hallowe'en will pome to the young
ster on October SI. aa usual, it will fall on Nov-
ember t ' this year, to number af adult prank
players.
"All that goes up is bound to come down."
This old saying refers particularly to those who
have been soaring In the "balloon of Idealism"
on world peace.
The democratic appeal asks voters to swal
low the democratic legislative bunch whole. But
would any one with Important business to trans
act hire thla bunch to transact It for him?
A Gratifying- Compliment.
The Bee takes this occasion to express Us
gratification at the high compliment paid us
by Dr. A. E. Wlnshlp In his Journal of Educa
tion, the Boston publication, which ranks as the
highest standard of authority In school matters
In this country, which In Its last number says:
One of the most affective means of interesting
children In their studies la the plan of the Omaha
Bee, by which It publishes each week the names of
alt pupils In tha elementary grades above tha second,
who received perfect marks In mors than halt of
their leaaona the' previous week. '
, A child's noma in. a great dally paper in "this
age of tha world counts far mors with many of them
than a card taken home to mother once. a month.
It Is also mora interesting to many 'mothers.
It may be "an advertlalng dodge" of Mr. .Victor
Rosewater on Ms promotion department, but if it
Is It Is a good, ona, far It Is tha pas that Interests
thousands of people who pass the editorial page and
even the automobile page unread.
The Bee Is satisfied that In giving space to
Ita Public School Roll of Honor it Is not only
furnishing He readers with Information of vital
Interest to them, but Is alsp helping to stimulate
the efforts of the school children to excel In
their studies, thus accomplishing a two-fold
worthy object.
Tha only excuse the democrats offer for a
iwar tax In peace Umea Is that we might have
also been driven to a war tax If the democrats
had not been la control of national affairs, r
What The Bee gets for printing the county's
delinquent tax list is at a less rate than what
the World-Herald gets from the elate treasury
for printing the state's constitutional amend
ments. 'Snvutrage!
- I - ' . i
The ballet for the coming elections la Doug'
Us county, as per sample, look like the most
confusing one that has ever been inflicted on the
voter. If should be a clinching object -leeson
argument for the ahort ballot.
t. . .
The maniara of Mr. James E. IUynee and Mies
Katie UtrlckUnd occurred at the residence of the
bride's mother, Mrs. g. A. Strickland. He v. C. W. 8av.
ltfe officiating. Mr. Heyne Is well known la rall
rud circles, being l tha office of tha genera) ticket
drtrnt ot tha Unloa Pad flu, and Mre. liayuea la tha
Ua gntar of the late General Btrirkland of the Omaha
l ur, which prevented her with a ootnplote solid silver
aC
Ceorte MlUa ouule a bet of $r that New York
m, Id go republican at tba coming election.
K. a. Riley, tha popular painter, wea agreeably
utpnd at Jfcila residence. TS North L'ta-bternth, ty
a eLaika of ftUow Odd Fallows and Uiulr women.
IJ'Utrr.act and Mre. Howard returned to their
Otuhe J.'iue from a long tourney abrad. Genera!
llMttard ia expected la a few days.
Mr. Aduli'h I Meyer and Wle Alice Txachuck were
united la mJitte St tha realdenca of the bride's
rrirnts, 1?'.4 r'arnam. Tha ceremony waa performed
I Htv. J. W, . Hamr.e before a compeer of about
my u(n. After a short visit to Chicago Mr. and
Mia. Meytr wlU take up their residence on Park ava
il Mr. r red U. Ho e of Onaaha end Mlsa Minnie Bhaa
ii t-r of Wshoo were yraterdar married at Bt. Mark's
i '.iiia on J'ltrie street, a receiUoa being given the. a
ii.r t k ;. r'e
Japanese Hospitality and Aimi.
President Harry Pratt Judson of the Uni
versity, of Chicago is, upon his , return from
Japan, quoted by the Chicago Tribune as saying
that "all this talk about Japan coveting the
Philippine Islands is pure moonshine. The
Japanese study to be friendly to the United
States." . .
Let us note, however, with the Tribune, that
Dr. Judson hag Just come from being the hon
ored guest of the Japanese, than whom the
world knows no more polite and gracious host.
Ills hospitality is renowned, -Dr. Judson was
abroad as a member of the commission sent by
the Rockefeller Foundation to report on med
ical conditions in the far east. He was enter
tained In true Nlpponio style, and, no doubt, re
minded over and over again of Japan's disinter
ested ambitions for the Philippines and tender
est solicitude for the honorable Uncle Earn. In
deed, the good doctor, himself, tells us: "T met
and talked and dined with Japanese of all
yanks."
Well, the least Americans may do is to hope
the doctor baa correctly sensed the situation,
even under what might be termed, the disad
vantages of this seductive spell ot hospitality
which waa kept closely woven about him. At
the same time, without questioning the distin
guished American's sagacity, or the Japanese's
motives, It would be unwise for the rest ot u
to lose ourselves completely In the pleasant
sensations which Dr. Judson experienced.
J Pareing- the Tiayi.
A body of Bt. Louts church societies, by ap
pealing to the proper city authorities, succeeded
la having a play In one of the prominent theaters
purged of a very disgusting "drink act." which
ought to remind theater folk of the danger of
tempting patience and common sense too far.
Many theater-goers, even outside of charch so
cieties, have grown weary and sick ot the "drink
art" and kindred demoralising slush on -the
stage. Surely the experience Of the last few
years ought to convince the manager and pro
ducer of. that. While the "legitimate" play
house folk tarried over their Egyptian cups,
came the movies, among other things, to absorb
much of the patronage that had been counting
heavily at regular theater box offices. But,
despite the popularity of the movie, the regular
bouse has a real call left If it will only heed it.
The movie may In time, by persisting ia Its
present blood and thunder tendencies, lose out
as fast as It gained with a certain element,
which the regular theater ahould recover with a
little wisdom.
'saaaadee af Oeraiea RIsM Wl.
Hecrecy Is the distinguishing feature of tha cam
peisn along the firing lines of the European war.
V1il)e the distant war offloes put out official bulls
Una dally, profound allenoa la maintained at the head
quarters in tha field, so that little tm known anrtoarn
Ing operations. This Is especially true of the Ger
man commanders, and gives rise to occasional re
ports from uncertain aourrea of chaoses In command
ing officers. Oencral von Kluck, commander of tha
Gorman right wing, was mentioned In a recent re
port as having been superceded by General von Ar
nlm, but the sou roe of tha reports robs It of every
element of probability.
General Alexander IL R. von Kluck Is a soldier
of nearly half a century's esperence, a veteran) of
three wars. Including the preaent He was born In
Munater elsty-elght years ago last May. His father
waa a commoner. Toung Kluck (his "von" Is recent)
became an ensign In the Blity-flfth regiment of In
fantry when ha waa 20, and saw service a few months
afterward In the Austro-Prusstan war of 1M, In which
he won a lieutenancy. ' In this modest rank he re
mained for seven years, despite tha fact that he
fought gallantly In the France-Prussian war of ln.
71. and was twice severely wounded before Mets, ami
got the Iron Cross for valor. In 171 he was pro
moted to a captaincy and three years later he was
made adjutant of theTwenty-eighth brigade of In
fantry. During the remainder of the seventies he
served wit various corXpiands as a captain, helping
to drill the huge army that the new Germany was
gradually bringing Into training.
A Favorite at Meltke.
Meanwhile he had attracted the attention of old
Helmulth von Moltke, the victor of 1170, snd In 1W1
he was made a company commander In the Svhoui
for Officers at Jullch. In 1834 he was transferred to
the school at Asnaburg, and three years later he was
made a major and transferred to NeubraUach. It
was during this time that his remarkable grasp of
military sdenee began to snow Itself. He was one
of the young officers wbe battled steadily and per
sistently for modern artillery, modern equipment and
modern methods, snd bit by bit ha forced bis views
upon his superiors. In 1X83 he was transferred back
to the line as lleutenant-ootonel of the Sixty-sixth,
regiment, and In 1&4, at the age of K, he got his
colonelcy. His first command was the Thirty-fourth
regiment of foot.
By this time Kluck'e unusual capacity began to be
thoroughly understood In the highest circles. He was
not a member of that everbearing military aristocracy
which Is supposed to boss the German army, but a'l
the same he kept on climbing the ladder. In 1950 hs
was made a major general. In DOS a lieutenant gen
eral and In 1900 he was put In command of the Fifth
army corps. In the same year he wag promoted to the
high rank of general of Infantry and was transferred,
to the First army corps, with headquarters on the
Russian frontier, and In 1911 the kaiser granted him
the right to Uae "von" before his name, and so lifted
him to equality with the aristocrats ot the general
staff.
A Baitder f Forts.
During his term of service In East Prussia Kluck
waa engaged upon the construction of the long chain
f submerged forts which the Germans now rely upon
to keep the Russians out of Berlin. These forts, ac
cording to the best available accounts, are quits dif
ferent from thoae that the German "Busy Berthas"
pounded to pieces at Antwerp. They are flat with
the ground snd present no target whatever. The great
guns with which they are mounted are In deep pits,
and arise on disappearing carriages only at the mo
ment of firing. How many Such forts tha Germans
have between Dantslg and Allensteln Is not known.
but It Is highly probable that they are not more tha
two or three miles apart.
A short while, before war was declared Von Kluck
was made an Inspector general there are but eight
In the whole German army and put In command of
the Second, Fifth and Sixth army corps, with bead-
quarters at Berlin, His office, of course, roads bin
a member of the general staff, and he took a leading
part In those meticulous preparations that nave since
contributed se much to the amazing progress of the
German army.
An Infantry Cosnmaade.
Kluck la essentially an Infantry commander, end
his great dash through Belgium and northern France
to the very gate of Paris was made almost Wholly
with ' foot soldiers. In the course of this dash ha
broke all the - world's marching records. After th
first battle with the British, at Mons, he pushed for
ward four whole army eorpe at the rate of twenty
five miles a day, and after his delay at Carabrai,
Which allowed the retreating British to get a day's
start him, hs proceeded for a while even faster.
Bo speedy wss the movement of his army, in fact,
that It came In contact with the outer ring. of Paris
torts before the force under Von Boehn, on his left,
had covered mucli more than half tha distance front
the BlKtan frontier.' As a result Voa Kluek was
eompelled to turn sharply to eastward, and so march
across tha front of the French position. His suc
cessful accomplishment of this maneuver, In the face
of 400.000 freab French troops, not to mention the
British retreating la front of him, mad him stand
out as the first truly arresting figure of the war. And
his successful resistance of all efforts to envelop him
since, despite the great superiority of the allied forces
facing him. has made even the French acknowledge
hie amaslng capacity as a leader. '
As for the Germane, they feel secure with Kluck
In the field. His tremendous enterprise and unshak
able pertinacity recall forcibly the tactiea of Btonewa'l
Jackson. Like Jackson, be la a scientific soldier, and,
like Jackson, he la also of vast daring and resource,
fulness In tha field.
within the reach of all. rich and poor.
Welcome cheap suftar! I like It; I never
got half enough whan I waa a boy.
D. C. JOHN.
chronic
People and Events
The rush of Belgian fugitives over the Scheldt on
Antwerp's nsrrow pontoon bridge Isn't fit to compare
with the rush of business at the ferries of the ptys,
F. Augustus Helnte, former copper king of Butte,
Is so busy In a New York court fta-htlng off a bunch
of promissory note that he la unable to.gre to th
rasou of hi old home town and compos Its troubles,
p. Augustus has all th troubles he csn attend to Just
wow.
During a spell of emotional excitement back la
Geneva, III., prayers were offered for the conviction
ot a man charged with having murdered a girl. Th
first trial recently concluded, It was conclusively
shown, that the man waa not th murderer, and he
was acquitted. The moral may be guessed.
"Buy-a-bale" movement la making progress la the
south. Mlsa Adeline Kramer of New Orleana an
nouncee ah will make and wear a cotton gown at
the Mardl Qra festivities next year, and South Caro
lina patriots of the male gender will snore la cotton
nightshirts during the winter. Caa home pride do
morel
waiter Demroecn la few cork ax presses un
bounded ability to aaaintal peae and bartnouy ia
kls symphony orchestra, in which thirteen foreign
nationalities are represented. Mr. Dantrostk makes a
pretty stiff bid for one or all of the here crosses
which monarchs are tosstr-g ground oa the battle
field of Europe.
The only equestrian atatue ia the national ceme
tery at Arlington, near Washington, is te be thst of
General Philip Kearny, the famous cavalry officer of
the civil war, who was killed In battle in Virginia fn
ltt. Tfce rule agaiaat equestrian statues In Arlington
waa waived ia tol case and the Kearny statue will
be dedicated November 1L
Eviction rase are crowding th courts of Nw
Torfc. For the first sis months of th year M.0u rases
were tiled, against !.) fr all of 1. Judge and
representatives of charity -organisations are arrang
ing for a commission to act as a buffer between land
lords and dltresaed tennanta and arrang settlements
which will prevent actual evictions.
On of th mysteries bobbllng around In Maine I
tb ownership f a not for ft.6uu.eoo found among th
paper of th let Uuveraor HU1 Oa th envelope
enclosing the note Oovernor HtU wrote: "This doe
not belong to me." The note 1 endorsed py th
liiUard company, on of the concerns Involved la he
Shady transactions of lh New Haven road.
A SehMl Hoard Member uesks,
OMAHA. Oct. C-To the Editor ot The
Pee: I have lived In Omaha for twenty-
eight year and have th reputation
among a large circle of friend and ac
quaintance of being Just. A a mem
ber of the Board of Education I am
familiar with the Rusmlsel end Steaner
eases, having Carefully looked Inte them
for the purpose of being right and doing
right In my dealings with them, and can
honestly say that Justice has been don In
each. By not publishing th evidence
we are not protecting Mr. Rusmlsel, a
be needs no protection, there being noth
ing against him, but the withholding bf
said evidence la really a protection to
Mr. Rusmisel'e enemies. This Is welt
known by those who are familiar with
the evidence.
Since -I have been on the board I have
received many long letters setting forth
far-fetched argumenta against our high
school taking sp and adopting the com
mercial or business course, These letters
ha all the "earmarks" of commercial
colleges, who are vitally Interested, lest
th poor man' boy or girl might recelv
commercial education, and they not
get the pay for It.
Good people, did Jt vr occur to you
that thla question. Ilk other question.
aa two il to It T Did It ever occur to
you that th beat way to destroy th
commercial high school Is to attack Its
hadt Did It ever occur to you that
thr might be a "nigger In the fence"
and that somebody might hsv a financial
"as to grind V Did it over occur to you
that th Rusmlsel case might be deeper
than Rusmlsel 7
I have been on the board for nearly
two years snd have refrained from going
Into print, but when I see members of
the school board neglecting their privet
BUHuieas snd giving their valuable time
to th conducting of th schools and re
ceiving nothing but abuse for It, It la
nam to keep out The "more holy than
thou" element of our city has always
been ready t Jump at conclusions with
out giving public matters real thought
maregarfllng the great mass of the com-
mon people, this "holy element" has
wcKea a llcset for us to vote for. Where
mq mey get weir right to do so? Do
rou minic this Economlc-Tan...r
lagu ticket. If elected, will build the
new schools so badly needed? Look Into
thls-"ths citliens' ticket." Ar there no
oltlxens outside of this annual and eome-
umes semi-annual bunch of
kickers and fault finders?
; It Is very essy to find fault but It tab..
men to do things. Of course, we cannot
v.nn io nave any virtue benuu th.
qualification bag been completely mo-
"""i py me citisens' ticket with
the women who are taklnr so mnh i
terst I have no fault to find b... i.
is woman's way to never look before ahe
jumps, out to jump. twice and then look
back. A man without plenty of courage
- Y vun i si po Business on the
""""i ooarq; or umaha.
In ronrlitalnn T will ,
'it A wiu a v mar i r
.! " " "
w ,uw me woman's club and lrin
7k " lo run ovr schools in less
than si months we would have no
R. F. WILLIAMS.
- The Oral Hxa.'
OMAHA, pet .-Te the Editor of The
n orai method which is hoin. .
vorsd against the wishes af th deaf Is
an amateur gam ending Jo gwkward re-
uniy one out of every UX has been
r ne (eeenings. And thla
one is a semi-mute. Knm. ...
with these they are aocuatom. -
daily work- hut k. w.
- . wmvd uw comea to -
....u.cr nB narojy ever understands g
worn saia. in valuabl veara ha en..
1 s . - . ,
..uu, ar wasted n vseles squeaklna
and blowing, where he mlsht make . ..
ful cltlsen If ke were tausht somthin. !
-eiui. n im i:e teachlna a doc a trink
Tha dog will understand his master sad
nooooy is. We deaf people do not ax.
pect to follow our masters all the time.
we are ambitious people, Just like ordi
nary citisens seeking a fortune and free
dom irons this obnoxious law.
are wining to us a Pencil and
paper when In conversation with other
people. thn w are sure of what the
ssy. There often has been an exhibition
io snow tne success of tha oral method.
It Is Just like a trick show, and the audi
ence believes, th actor put - aa egg
through hi hat I would advla anyone
to, wait at th stag door of the next
exhibition gjg find out If th pupil that
waa on th platform can hear.
ROBERT MVLI4N.
Secretary N. 8. A. D.
A boat lassr,
OMAHA, Oct H.-To the Editor of Th
Bee: I ws very biuch impressed wltk
Mr. Plckiaaon's gloomy forebodings con
cerning the crop and price of sugar. Tb
spirit that prompted U was a purely
psychological bull movement not sup
ported by any real aeortage, and, hence,
th canning season over, th price awing
back to normal conditloaa. Th reason
given for a permanent advance In price
are curloualg Illogical, not t say ridicu
lous..
1. Tb lessening of .production by the
"European yver." Germany is lbs pniy
sugar area affected by that war, and
even there the manufacture wl'4 not be
wholly suspended. The only effect of
that shortage h te ncreaa pro
duction la other countriea and give them
a market they have not hitherto en
joyed.
t "Drouths In the Philippine, West
Indies, United States and Hawaii havs
greatly reduced the crnpa thla year." t
Is strange that we did not hear of these
drouths before, and still more strange
that they should be so widely dlstrlbuud
during the same year.
a "Hostile legislation." Hostile to
whomf Doiaestio- producer only; but
the production of case sugar in the
United States is a negligible factor when
considering the world's supply. The
legislation hostile te domestic manufac
turers is highly beneficial to foreign pro
ducer snd will powerfully ttwulate
their Industry. Free from duty, th
tropic caa supply th world with
cheaper and better sugar than can be
produced from beets- Beet sugar is not
a very profitable Industry, and will be
less so when SuSr becomes free. I once
lived pear a beet sugar factory and I
know something ef th difficulties of
that industry. The cry of unfavoraU
sea eons, short crops, rust boll weevil.
frost, etc., have been greatly over.
worked la hull movements. UtU atten
tion Is new paid to them.
With proper encouragement the United
State ha Insular possession enough
te eupply all the sugar we need, and
they should be encouraged In an Industry
to which nature has specially adapted
them.
When sugar Is admitted free, tt caa be
soli at 4 cents per pound retag and
BTOITY GEMS.
Hnlwf-Ilo did the manarer Induce
that militant suffragist t J-in tho compear?
walk ins its promised her th loaltlon
of leading man. Jude.
"How Is your little boy dolnx at
school?"
"He sets a sood mark In the tooth
brush drill and atands first In the breath
ing class, but he doesn t seem able to
learn arithmetic." Birmingham Ago.
"I see," aald th foreigner, "by your dic
tionary that to 'unbenu' means O relax;
e, 'unix-ml In a' means 'ttny ilitiiig.' "
wen." exclaimed the American, "you
ran t blame me. I didn't writ th dlc
tlorury." Philadelphia ledger.
Ph was very much m love with him. and
one evening, whll thv were slon. she
asked:
' Frank, tell me truly; you have kised
other slrls. haven't you?'
"lea." replied the young man. "but no
one you Know. rucWTork Times.
"Hey. waiter." yelled the fat man. "I
round a button In- thla hash."
"Uuite rBUt. sir oulie risht." explained
the waiter. 'We always dress our beef.
sir. .-Cincinnati enquirer.
Judge And you still claim to be lnno
cent, although alx witnesses say they saw
you commit tne crimar
prisoner your nonr, t can produce
6,(M who diem t sse me. cornel! widow.
"My wife Is going through some army
maneuvers with ner laat year s flat. '
' Yi hat d ye mean, army maneuverr'
"Well, she' turning th wings. ' Pitts
burgh Poet
XUn lis 01 qq jnoA uo Siirpaadep J
In tb third Set. Do you think ball do
Actor ratner ne oiwni m -
rehearsina every night for month. Bos
ton Transcript.
Whet ar a diplomat responsibilities?"
aald the inquiring young man.
"They vary," rrpllv1 the experienced
official. Fomrtlmee a diplomat le the
man who who start the trouble and
sometimes lie merely takes the re PO nu
bility. "Wsehlnston BUr.
the rous-rxusnxES.
New Tork Tribune.
Horace: Book III. Ode .
HORACE.
Wbn I waa on your calling list,
When rumor bad us mated, ...
Tha clouria that cromed my life, I wist.
At least were ellver-plated.
LTDIA.
When other charmed you not at aU,
When you were lwy near me.
The Joy of life could never pall .
Or, If they did, you'd cheer me.
HORACE.
But Chloe's got me going now,
Her latest stepa are classy!
I d die, and willingly. I vow.
To pleaae that Iraclao lassie,
LTDIA.
Don't think I'm frightened by your bluff.
Tour fame rJid noble station;
Toung Talui 1 good enough
Without a reputation.
HORACE.
Whv. Lydla, your talk 1 wild;
You know how well I love you.
Why, Horac. la as constant, child,
A ars th stars sbove you. (
LTDIA.
Ther' omething in your every stepj
My heart ia yours; you'be hit It.
Besides, I've fallen for your rep
I simply must admit It
Out Mkjiji
I
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