TIIK OMAHA SUNDAY r.KK: (M'TORKK 1P, 1014. THE OMAHA SUNDAY DEE FOUNDED BY HOWARD ROSKWATKR. VICTOR ROSKWATER. EDITOR. The Be Publishing Company, Proprietor. BEH BUILDING. FARNAM AND SEVENTEENTH. Entered at Omihit poetofflce a seennd-c'ss matter. TERMS OF Sl'PPCRrpTION. Hy rarrtrr Bt mall per month. per year Pall anil Funa'ar Patlv without Sunday....' c.. JV Hvcnlng and Sunday "c " "J Kvenlng without Sunday J 1 Sunday Bee. only ....... K.nd notice of cbana-e of address or roniplalnta or Irregularity in drlivery to Omaha Bee. Circulation liepartment. REMITTANCE. Remit br draft, expreea or postai order. Only twn cent postage stamps received In payment of atrial) ac. rounta personal check", except on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. OFFICES. Omaha Th B Building South Omaha 2M8 N street. Council Bluffs 14 North MaJB etreet. 1 Incnln Little Building. Chicago SOI Hearst Bolldlnr New York Room 2 fifth avenue, St. Ixuls-B New Hank of Commerce. Washington 7:5 Fourteenth St., N. W. CORREKFONDENCB. Address commtinlcatw na relating to mwi and edi torial matter to Omaha Bee. Editorial Department. hEPTKMBKIl Sl'MAY C1RCI IATIOX. 44,375 nf Nebraska. Cotintr of Douglas, as Pwight Willmtiifi. circulation manager of Tha Bee Publishing company, being duly aworn. says that tha average Sunday circulation for the- month of September 1 f14 was 44. TV. PWKIT WIUJAMSX Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence, and aworn to before me, thla Id day of iMnlwr, I''l4 ROBEKT HUNTER, Notary Public. Subscribers leaving the city temporarily should have The Bee mailed o these. A drrsa win be changed oftn as reqawisted. Efficiency means happiness, so be efficient. Time to begin doing your early Christmas i-hopplng. Looks as if that German war machine were stlf-propclling. Miss Indian Summer is Invited to atay na long as she will. That short, sharp, quickly finished war Is only In the story books. Przeniysl ought to be sufficiently well forti fied with Us name alone. Out, of course, levying war indemnities Is not alwaya the same as collecting them. Mary Garden may be depended on to hoe her own row as a Red Cross nurse at the front. It Is not every country with a scat of govern ment that can be moved about as easily as Belgium's. Mr. McGlnty has come to light at last hold ing down a clerical Job In a government bureau ht Washington. Sulzer la bantering tbe colonel for a debate. Better look a little out or he will not be "the same old Bill" very long. Philadelphia Just cannot get away from that cringy feeling of having a lot of Boston book' worm crawling all over It. The Minneapolis Journal observe that some persona still say "tomahtoes." Yes. but no one can ever make them taste that way. Another attempted recall of a supposedly unpopular city official has failed out In Denver. Kvldently, It la not so easy as it looks.- Still, If Mitchell and Plnchot are both elected instead of Penrose, as they and their followers bay they will be, that will give Pennsylvania three senator. ; The open season for auto touring Is nearlng its close, but that is no reason for auVolsts laps ing iuto carelessness, much less becoming reck less in their driving. " Chairman Thompson of the democratic state committee and Chairman George of the repub lican state committee are at least entertaining one another with their little Joint debate. Omaha gets the next National Farmers' con, press, ana the Farmers' congress gets a meeting .place In the center of the most productive and prosperous agricultural area of the country. The blghoat tribute to the honesty of profes hlonal bae ball U la the winning of the world'a rerles championship !n four straight games in stead of stringing them out to boost the gate . receipts. If President Wilson succeeds in landing Lr'er Watterson back on the reservation as handily as he did Colonel Harvey, then let him have that Nobel peace prize without further - v atchf ul waiting Utf lcittA LsiM V . "17:.- 4 77Y.. . . . , J i:t v,W" c'- wM (fl yttuiiu r''-"nt aurvrlaa party was ,Ve ,st even!,,, ul tha residence of Thomas Price on Khtrman avenua to htmor of Mr. and Mm. Frank Uol.trt.. formerly Mlaa Lizzie Cduinl, ro,.nii . ' The contract for rdln down the court hpuM lot. .... in iu t.uny w lt, 0rnt a yard th drt to o to the county, and the work to becoir. Plcted in thirty days. O. II. Down l.aa the contra, lor grading Kurnam atreet weat f the city limit for fourlecu cents a yard. A number of the older employes of the Union Pa ...vm to ine noma or . if. H. tlark to - - tf-.',uiu uiimuay. t oun- cilniaa Atid.TButi made apeech which rerpundrd ta by ilr. Clark. JWv. l.r. llarfeld delivered tils Inaugural a.rinon at TeniAje lral on "The Triple Crown or the Ulorloui Witre." i'oloird republican held a muaa mertina: In I.ytle blo.k. J. ill.ain called the aathcrina to order K. S. eienhtaa preaidtd. A. H. Vlllia served aa secre tary am Vr. . II. f. Xtevennon was endorsed for l-oprci.-ntative. t H. i!aJhtiiiie ha returned to Omaha after '. iii'.nllK al'cue- The Indispensable Human Factor. .Miss Ida Tatlicll i8 quoted as saying tUat ' The fcperet of (l'minating accidents is one-third .afrty devices and two-thirds organization and education. ' In other words, th human ele ment l indispensable to the Furcers of the most intertills mechanical device. All of this Ir fa miliar experience, nevertheless bears repeating. The best laid safe and sane plans of men and mice gang aft aglce. This Is true, s the Chl cafio Herald Kayo, "not only in the ppeclal case Miss Tarbell has in mind. It Is true of every device In politics, business, banking, commerce and social reform." Which is. after all, the best application to make of it. Many cities and states have learned by bitter experience that model laws, methods and de vices come to naught, or nearly no, without the proper human oleinent back of them. Commis sion forms of city government, the roniniiKsloner hips in various, political relations, the city man ager plan and all the other reforms and projects devised are as good, in the end, as the personnel back of them and no better. The fault Is In trusting too tntnh to these legislative cure-alls. Folks forRet that the very device which, In the hands of a good man, will accomplish excellent results, will, correspondingly, cause Just as much, or more, mischief If entrusted to bad men. Surely the outstanding lesson of our po litical experlenco In city, state and nation Is that the human element Is the most important of all; that it Is, In truth, the indispensable factor. Classifying1 Housewives. Once more there romes.the familiar protest Ogainxt the census disposing of housewives as having "no occupation," a thing, we are re minded, against which (lioiighful women have remonstrated since the original counting of noses in this country. Thus far, however, this righteous Indignation of our good women whoever they are that are protesting has been more or less of a desultory character, assuming no concerted, well-aimed action. Hence it has come, as all such sporadic and unorganized ef-' forts, to naught. But no, not to naught, for here Is Mrs. Flora McDonald Thompson of Washing ton and Tarls, a woman whose international Identity gives a humanity-wide' sweep to her sympathies and possibly her Influence herd comes Mrs. Thompson indignant through and through, declaring that this injustice must cease; tha't the housewives of our fair land must no longer be classed by our federal census as loafers, which is the meaning given to "no oc cupation." And Bhe goes on to recount the inultifaiiouB duties of the housewife, with which we are all more or less familiar; or the never-ending na ture of her work; of Its demands upon her pa tience, love, time and strength. No normal per son will attempt to minimize this. But now, after all, what real difference does it make how the census1 classifies the mother ana the wife, the queen of tbe home Whnt haa she suffered these years by the failure of the census to give her a different status? And where Is the great army of wives and mothers doing the protest ing? Even if the census attempted to be Just to them in classifying them, it would be impos sible. It would not hurt, of course, to record them oa housewives, but neither can that noblest of spheres be injured If the classification should he delayed yet a little while. No one will ques- 41. . . Mti . . . .... non mm. mompsons anility to work up an agitation, though, for that can be done about almost anything nowadays. The Boy and the Man. "There is no such thing as 'the boy prob lem,' much as folks talk about It." said Fred 8. Goodman of New York, a Young Men's ChrlH ttan association expert. In addressing an' Omaha audience. "The problem is entirely In the kind of leadership the boy gets, and that rests, not with the boy, but the man." Mr. Goodman insists on a man's Influence for the boy, especially from 14 years of age on, and the roan ought to be hie father. For the boy, he says, Instinctively classifies himself then as a man and will respond sensltlvclyto a man's leadership. To illustrate, t5 cites this Incldeut: When the steamer The Republic w as rammed by another ship some five years ago and Imperilled and the transfer of passengers was under way with the rule of the sea, "women and children first," in force, a father standing near the edge of the deck, bade his wife, little daughter and aon of 14 good-bye and otepped buck. Pres ently the boy kissed his mother and sister and went to take his place beside his father. In stinctively he classified himself, preferring to die with his father as a man than escape with his mother and sister as a child. How typical thla boy was no one knows, but the moral is plain. Tbe father who succeeds in establishing and maintaining a close, confi dential companionship between himself and his son has, as we all know, taken a vital step to ward meeting hla responsibility. From then on It is largely up to him what his boy becomes, depending on the kind of leadership tbe boy gets. . More .American Influence. Another call comes from the republic of China to the republic of the United States for more American influence. The Chinese have tried it In the missionary, the commercial drum mer and his wares, the great "open door" policy, the specialist in finance, government and educa tion. So now In asking the National Associa tion of Manufacturers to nominate a commercial adviser to the Chinese republic, President Yuan Shi Kal proceeds like a mta who knew exactly what he wauted. No great elaboration khould be needed to get the Americans to see the full, far-flung uieauing of all this. It Is simply that we are steadily expanding and deepening the in fluence of olir institutions iu thla land, but lately cleared of the- primeval forest of ancient pagan monarchy. If this seems banal to any or u, let us note that Dr. Hunter Corbett, tbe venerable missionary. Is still living I to relate the story of the peril he eucountered in entering his field of labor In China some fifty years ao. More than that, only a decade ago American miioiiaries were being massa cred In the great Shan Tung protinco. And there is mill fresh iu mind the atrocities of the Boxer uprising. Other hostile (I'ubrt aks m:iy c om and go, but the uago rnti-on Menial t-pirii w ill not lo the prime inoilte back of thciu. Fifty jeara, twenty, ten, seem but so many days now In the span of China's development. Incredibly swift Is Its progress today toward the goal of actual representative government. The best evidence of this Is these very appeals for additional ex perts, not only In the science of government, but the ways of Industry and commerce as well. And. every such appeal forms a new link In the chain of cause and effect binding .constantly closer together the destinies of these two great nations. People and Events A Beautiful Utopia. In our letterbox, to wlttvh we are giving spa'e today specially for that purpose, will be found au Interesting communication signed by Mr. C. II. Malchlen in the nature of a plea to the newspapers of Omaha to agree on, and give united support to, the different candidates they consider best for election to office. Mr. Mal chien, who Is the office manager of our biegest department store, insists that whether a man is a republican, a democrat, a progressive or a so cialist should make no difference If he Is honest and conscientious and has the ability to fill the position he Is striving for, and suggest further and quite truly that it Is Just as Important to newspapers to have goocl, clean men in official places as to the public. "Let the newspapers get together, pick out the best men who desire to run for office and let them lay their findings before their readers" is his plan, with the Infer ence, of course, that any slate so agreed upon v- III be cheerfully acquiesced in and approved by the voters. Now, t we cppreclate the eomplltnenl and the well-intentioned purpose of these suggestions, and sincerely wish we could persuade ourselves that the people of Omaha would be willing to delegute their right of self-government to their newspapers? but we have to face the cold logic of facts and experience. The elder Carter Harri son was once elected mayor of Chicago not only without the support, but In the face of the oppo sition of every English language dally In the city. In Omaha more recently the proposition to buy the Auditorium, heartily supported by two newspapers and not vigorously opposed by the other, and endorsed by practically all the business and civic organizations of the city, was decisively beaten. Just now all of our dally news papers are united behind most of the School board candidates selected for us by a so-called citizens' committee, and still It will hardly be safe for those of these candidates, who have com petitors, to count on a unanimous election. In other wordB, unanimity of newspapers does not necessarily make unanimity a unanimous public ftcntlmont any more than unanimity of doctors, lawyers or department store managers on any question would produce the same frame of mind among all their clients, patients or patrons. So far as The Bee is concerned, It has been its policy, and will continue to be its policy, to support for public office the men who seem to be the best equipped, and the most dependable to carry out the policies which we believe will best promote the public good. . The Bee will not give, nor will It withhold, Its support pimply be cause some other newspaper- Is for or against a candidate or proposal. The support of other newspapers for candidates we favor will be wel comed, but their opposition wi'll not deter us from advocating what we believe, to be right, and it must be plain to all that no other course will command public respect and confidence. It must be plain, also, that there will always be disagreement, not constant, but occasional, be tween newspapers as between Individuals, be cause they reflect the disagreements of the com-. inunlty among whom they have their readers. Just as competition is the life of trade, disagree ment, discussion, rivalry and partisanship are the forces that propel city, state and nation along advancing lines of material, moral and rolltlcal progress. Worthy Servants. The story la told of a poor woman w ho works twelve hours a day In this country, and with a mite that it takes to keep a person in some of the oriental countries, supports a woman mis sionary. Thus she proudly tells her.frlends how she works twenty-four hours a day her money working for her In the distant land. Something of this snine feeling of Just pride may be the part of those American children sending their gifts to the less fortunate children of war-smitten Europe when they awake on Christmas morning. The cheer that the Amer ican boy and girl get from their own well-filled stockings will be but halt of their share of Santa Claus' cheer: the other and quite the bet ter half will be working for them to make glad the hearts of thousands of little folks in those otherwise cheerless homes of the dreary lands across the sea. Let us hope that this terrible war will be over before another Christmas time, and if it is these American children who participate in this grand enterprise will always have one special Joy out of the good Yuletlde season to feel good over and tell to other children In the years to come. But, of course, these young givers ot good things are not going to be actuated in their giving by a selfish spirit, at all, nor one tht seeks but to cheer the heart of the donor. The right spirit, we are sure will prevail, for the very enterprise, itself, will inspire it. Experts ( intend that the mighty chejt ri"Ston has acquired couldn't be dented by the shelln which shattered the forte of Antwerp. if a vote of the ople of Helxium could be had on the question. It l fairly certain a ma.lority would aitree with what Gen eral Fherman said about war. The attention of the weather man Is re spectfully but firmly called to th fa. t that his reputation as ft maker of Indian summer is yet to be established. Texas Is not at all ansloua to swell the world's flow of tears, hut the state has fiW rarltiads of onions ripe for the mar ket, and the. growers need the money. "W mia-ht a well frankly acknowl edge," eays the Philadelphia ledger, "that we were defeated not by luck, but by the better team." PtralRht goods. Ixt It go at that. A railroad In f;outh America Is said to Yo earning money at the rate of linri.ono a, mile, end pays 14 per cent on Its common stock. A photograph of the tat the company charges would be a valuable addition to the museum of an American traffic manager. American millionaires who own castle In England are cheerily turning their poa-e-ess'tonB into war hospitals, but there Is no sign of a desire to swear off allegiance to their own country. Tn times like the present, the United States looks mighty good to the tufthunter abroad. The British war office ahattera another Illusion bjr admitting that the graphle dis patches from the r.rltlsh front were not written by General 8ir John Freneh, but by a Colonel Pwlnton. All the felicitations showered, on Plr .lohn as a reporter are herewith switched to Colonel Swlnton. "May his tribe Increase." The onco famous Calumet club, Chi cago's pioneer social organization, goes Ijrto the discard November 1. Ildw have the mighty fallen! Among the charter members of the club were Marshall Field, fJeorge M. Pullman, P. T. Armour, Ee I Z Loiter, N. K. Fairbanka and F. W. Teck-all Rathered in the great beyond. MUFFLED KNOCKS. The fad for anklet and garter watches died a swift death. Maybe the hands tickled the dear things. Weather forecasters and doctora can get paid for guessing. But the rest of us have to be accurate. The sort of girl who is chummy with her mother usually manages to take care of herself without the assistance of a chaperone. When a man has a wife and three grown daughters he cant see why his wife wants to spend good money on a phnograph. When a man gets home late and his dinner la cold, he knows that hla wife will make it warm for him. Tou can Play this both ways. More material for the great American novel. A California woman wants a di vorce because she Is her husband's fourth wife and he Insists upon railing her by his first wife's name. Let us be fair. If a man didn't bog all his change for hla personal comforts, and went 60-50 with his wife, the Joke about her frisking hla pocket at night would soon die for want of nourishment. Father wanta a divorce- when mother haa hash for dinner. But If mother puts some dope m the hash and cnlla It some French name that Bounds like a cabaret dish, father compliments her on her high brow cooking. When they do get tha vote, and a woman candidate for office invltei her constituents to a feed at her expense, could a rcpotter be arrested for announc ing the fact that the candidate wae fixing her supporters? When two men are extremely polite to each other It Is a algn that they don't like each other. But when they say: "Hello, you onery old pup!" and "How'S yourself, you porch-clinablng old . horse flilef:" they are good friends. Cincinnati Knqiilrer. How all-pervading the war subject is may be gathered from the fact that military topics have broken Into every literary magayne and period ical that we k,now of,, with possibly one excep tion. The war Is tbe one big universal human interest story that affect directly, or Indirectly, fverjt. living person, and generations yet to come. Score one for Brother Merrlam In his protest against the action of the Commercial club play ing favorites among legislative nominees. He should have aald, however, that a club organize to promote the business interests of the city haa no business to launch Into partisan politics at all. TABLOIDS OF SCIENCE. The xkln of the otter is uapable ot manipulation which makes it extremely (difficult to detect it from that' of the seal. Platinum has advanced In price so rap idly In recent years that gold Is being ured to alloy it, to lessen the cost of elec trical apparatus In which It la necessary. The heart of an average man makes about one 3.000th of a volt of electricity at every beat and an Instrument sensitive enough to measure It has been invented. The ancients credited tha raven with unusual longevity, but modern Investiga tion shows that It ia not warranted. Tha bird rarely lives more than seventy years. A Japanese army surgeon haa Invented a machine run by electricity that grinds as many beans into flour in forty min utes as a man can grind by hand In a day. Two Italian chemists have perfected a process for depositing metals of any character permanently upon almost any insoluble surface by electricity, sine, lead and tin belntr used as easily as silver, nickel or copper. Many rare minerals exist In Tasmania, and lately a new addition has been made to the list by the discovery of molybden ite, which Is used In the manufacture of molybdenum steel, to which it glvei spe cial hardnesa and toughness. As tha pteent price of thla mineral Is about JluO a ton. the discovery shoudl prove of considerable value. Well now, there is only oue way for the mar riage license bureau to make lUeif immune against charges of playing favorites. Let 't list and number the ministers who are bidding for wedding ceremony privileges, and pass them along in rotation. I Mr. Hewitt of the Chicago Herald offers to ' ro that women think before voting. Mr. Hewitt is doubtless far too circumspect to ini Mlue that anyone ia going to "caU" his let. - ODD BITS OF LIFE. Henry Hcllsteln of ft. I.euls, Mo.. Wrote Miss Freda Pchatt 2.(00 lova letters before she consented to become Mm. Bellsteln. Ml were illiiKtrated with pen and Ink sketches end were written In verse. Hundreds of people gathered the other day in Home. Oa.. to witnea the unusual incident of a son baptizing his father. Tbe occasion was the baptism of 1a P. MathK aired G2. by his son, fllder D Math s. ' t'oliinel Kibrldge J. Copp lm in ! ' posersion a curious meteor. te pkked up by h s brother near liidoii(lerTy. N. II. The stone is about as large as a mtik melon, very heavy for its slxe and rough on every side except wUere it wa flt-t-ned anl Miiootned by violent contact w ilh II.- eai lit Jacob Kieephut. a farmer living near Alia Vista. Kan., ia tha possessor of an old shirt that he bought more than forty yeaia ago Iu wltaerland. Th shirt uf a soft material, cream colored, and al though it haa been wor.t much It ia still eond and la worn con'iderably by Mr. Ki.senlutt. Kienhut were this shirt on his wed'liuf day CpTic face's Let ike ewriper tie! Towetfcer. OMAHA. Oct. 17. -To U.o l'ditor ol Tbe Bee: I note with pious. ire f.iat the three Omaha dally papein are united on a cer tain number of good candidate for th" school board t be rlcc-ted this fall. Now It has ocetired to mf. why cntir.ot this same feeling between the three rarfa be manifested In re2rl to other c.Midi dat, for Instah' e tuntlidatfts for the legislature and other co'inty o(fc?? The newspiper to . large extent are the moulders of public opinion .and if the three Omsha daily parrs would in vestigate tbe ability of the different rsn didatea and agree on those, they consider best and advise the public to th' effect and support them for election In my opin.on thla would be a great thl.ig. What difference does it make in city politics, county politics, and I might ssv state, politics, whether a candidate g republican, a democrat, a progressive or a socialist, if he 'has the ability to fill tbe office be is etr 'ni for and is an honest, conscientious man. If "Jonn Jones" Is labeled a republican, but la honest, fearless and has the abil ity to fill tli office he is running for. why could not the World-Herald and the News support him as well ss Tho Bee'.' And If "John Smith" is labeled a demo crat ni Is a man of good qualities, anl is capable of filling the office for which he. Is running, why cannot The Bee and News support blm forvelectlon? If the nonpartisan principle applies to the School board, why can It not apply to our city commissioners and other city offices, and also county offices? Irtstcni of having a democratic, a republican of a progressive party In city and county poltli s. let us have one "Om-iha party" for city offices and one "Ponging county" party for county offices. Let the news papers et together, pick out the bet men who desire to run for officer, and let tliem lay their findings and opinions before their readers through the newspa pers. I think it Is Just as Important to news papers to have good, ciean men in city and county offices becsiiae they natu rally derive aome benefit from a clean economical administration, as dos the public, and we oisht all to have the wel fare of Omaha and Douglas county at heart. If thla principle would work out In city and county politics, It might be extended to state pontics', because I cannot ses what the national politlca has to do with out city and county affairs, and to a cer tain extent In state affairs. a. 11. MATjCHIKN. AROUND THE CITIES. Boston lays a heavy taxing hand on all advertising signs, on buildings and fences, Halt Lake ministers have organized a movement for the abolition of F-.mday funcra's. Philadelphia has S.ntiS factories, employ ing 35,2H persons, and paying: J:?,ft.".3,ft"9 In salaries and wages. Minneapolis is coming to the front as an art center. A new museum of tho Institute of Arts will be opened in De cember. During tho year ending June IK, 1914. the elevated railroads of New York City carried Sll,473,"s38 passengers and the sub way 340.418,102 passengers. Patorson, K. ,T., has opened an exposi tion of loeat Industries, the chief feature of which is the largest display of silks ever seen in this country. Bole, fdano, reports the biggest prune crop ever gathered In that vicinity is ready for shipment. Six hundred cars will be needed to move the crop. Houston, Tex., reports satisfactory re ulta from its two-year-old policy or re duced taxation Ot buildings. "TionUls have been lowered and the building of homes stimulated. Springfield. MrtSs.. boasts of the latest novelty in social service activity. It ia called the Grandmothers' club, and Its chief requirement for membership is a Status of grandmOlherhood. Oklahoma City is moving for the es tablishment of a CJtton mill, and cotton growers are Invited to trade cotton for stock In the enterprise. Leading busi ness men are tricking it liea ily. St. Louis Is about to make another at tempt to vote bonds for the completion of the municipal bricige over the Mis sissippi. The bridge proper is In place, but the means to acquire right of way on land has been denied by voters. Kan-:aa City kickera are jumping on city officials because they turned a few extra dollars by; hiring the city's sprink ling cars to a local brewery to trans port beer. The kick has two mainsprings one against beer, the other against giv ing the city tho money. MUSINGS OF A CYNIC. ' Y phnulil forulve i.-'t . mhii -s i ;-e-c-la'ly If tbv hnc irs 1 - i A pew bloom . ' . oV.ri. but '!.! w-'ien If haa sotnc i"1 cv beli-d It. About tbe on'v tiihm In tbl- life that a 'lien can win In a w ill; i n mime to'f. Thr1 world' I? btlslit-r he riu.'e r.o n n run have huppm.a aim be -'in;..' wKh it. V'o mnn H thnroualily m c npli-i" d :m bS he h.is at. ability m'nd hi ow.t business Kome people e e . 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 ' ti i:l- Themelve iwny. hi1 ot'tcis are h,v.i3 b'inl told. v iiie nigbrr .-I'.n.atlon generi dam onstrates lint I lie more we know, the WS we believe Tbe only people who can af'onl to Sneer at l ik rue tli.r who never ex pect to hne any. .-Come people inn throw bouquets nt themfches nt;.t then succeed In hunt ing t:p the rtoriat. Some of us are so accustomed to look ing out for number one that we get posi tively near iiglitd It Isn't always politeness that prompts the divorce lawyer to sty to the min ister, "After yiiti, Vlt." We are told that F.e was made from Adarr rib, but some of us really hava an Idea Adam lost his backbone. Courtship demonstrates that a j'tvmg man's arm goes to wal?t more fre quently than his opportunities d'. Old age shouldn't deter us from keep ing up with the fashions. We ate never too old to acquire the latest wrinkle. New York Times. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES Mistress Bi idnot, it nlways seems to me that the crankiest mistresses get tue best cooks. Cook Ah, ko un wid er blarney I Boston Transcript. "Srt you've brought r.. v l.usliand home In this condition at 'I o'clock in the morn ing!" KTreamed the lady at the window to the conveying parly. " "Yes. madam.'' they agreed. "The bun is at tho gale." New York Press. Kthel Oh, Jack, be careful tonight. Faps's brought home a bulldoi;. Jack That's nil riglH, The do? used to belong to me and I got the dealer to sell him to your lather." Buffalo Kx pross. "She told I'ercival never to apeak to her afcnin and lie said, 'Oh, very well" and left her." "And they don't speak?" ' ''Oh, yes, they do. She saw to tliul. She went Immediately and secured . situation as a telephone operator.' -Washington Star. "I'm certain he loves me," said t!"i suburban girl. "How's that?" "It is a four-mile walk to town. II misses the last car about twice a but he still keeps calling." 11 tic.i a Post. Mrs. Henpeck Is there any dlffcrm :. Theodore, do you know, between a m and a fortress? Mr. Henpeck t should Imagine n I un less, r.iy love, would lie harder to si! cme. London Opinion. "How 'do vo'i know Mrs. Llinks is u bad as she Is painted?" "My husband in u druggist .".ml sciN rouge and powder." Boston Tranaciint. Hicks Have you joined this buy-a-bale-of-cotton movement? Wicks No. sir. What. I had to join was the buy-a-load-of-coal movement. In dianapolis New 3. "That rich Mrs. Stipgins doesn't speak to me now. Yet she used to be my net door neighbor and they were awfully common." "Well, there are some things monay can't do." "What?" "Make old-time neighbors forget the early days." OCTOBER. Alfred Thome in St. Louis Globe-Democrat. 'Tis October, blithe October, 'tie the mel low time of yeiir. And the autumn smiles In beauty at th winter drawing near. The maple leaf U crinmon and the wood bine' flaming right. And the harvest moon with glory fillt tho brisk Oc tober night. 'TIs October, rare October, and the app'i boughs lire red. Where the springtime bloomed In frag rance in the blossoms overhead. The harvest home ia xinghiK where tha teeming- earth ha blessed, And the woodland ways are wondrous In autumn splendor dressed. 'TIS October, hale October, all the air ia crisp and sweet. And the breeze. In darkling shadows runa and ripples In the wheat: There's a -sharper, nrlghter sparkle on tho river's crystal streum. And a frosty glitt-r twinkles In the even ing starlight gleam. 'Ti October, fair October, 'tis the mellow time o' year. When we give a kindly Fctlier pralae for earth's abundant cheer; When with happy hearts we gather round the hearthflre burning bright. Thanking God for homo and dear ones In a land of love and light. Rauch & Lang Electrics THE HIGHEST TYPE nt electric- car the lUmii A Lang iiiMires luturlotis easy riding at minimum upkeep cost. There ia nothing complicated about it. No ex perience la required in its rare or operation. You can charge it yourself- as easily as turning on an electric light. Its simplicity cannot hut appeal t joa, chauffeur to contend withno engine to crank no tire to puncture ncne of the annoy snares of the gas car. Pmrfmrt sareiee frm your car is mnly potMtbU whr m garage ha$ meefarn emaipment mnd cast boast of th tMctUtr.ct of Ui torvic. Wo ino to inspect ion. ELECTIC GARAGE COMPANY 40th and Far nam 5ft.