JHF, HBF,: OMAHA, MONDAY, OCTOKKK 12. 1914.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD KOSKWATF.R.
VICTOR ROSF.WATF.K, EDITOR.
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S K I'T K M 1 1 K It C I HCl LATIOX.
56,519
Plat of Nebraska, County of Dnuglaa, aa.
Iwvlght Williams, circulation manatter of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly sworn, aays that
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Subscribed In my preaence and aworn to before
me, this 2d Cay of October. 1014.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public
Subscribers tearing U dtj temporarily
should bare Hie Bee mailed to them. Ad
drcs trill te changed as often as requested.
Noticed how the Chautauquas escaped the
war tax?
When It cornea to big guns, those Germans
have theni.
Why the Philippine! Now?
Soni weeks ago houso demorrats resur
rected the old Philippine civil government bill
and forced its consideration to the exclusion of
the anti-trust and rural credits measures, whose
enactment the president mentioned as among
the original objects of the preient extra session.
He emphasized rural credits, in fact, as almost
equal In Importance to currency reform, for
which a previous extra session had been held.
Vet this and other legislation on which the de
mand for the present session rested Is now
shoved aside while members engage in long dis
sertations on the wisdom of enlarging the meas
ure of local self-government to the Filipino, a
thing that has been consistently done ever since
we assumed control of the Islands.
Tbls much must be "aid for the democrats,
though, that not In all the endless volumes of
debate has anyone pretended to make out that
this Is emergency legislation. No one has thus
far so much as suggested a reason for bringing
It up at this time. The only fair conclusion,
therefore, seems to be that It Is done to divert
public attention from soraehtlng else which the
majority party wishes to keep in the background
at this time. Could It be the tariff? Could It
be that the democratic leaders felt It would be
wise to beat this old Philippine tom-tom on the
eve of election as a means of diverting the
minds of the voters from the main Issue? In
any event, this much seems plain, If congress
has nothing more Important to consider than
the Philippine bill which may be considered
Just as well a year from now then it has no
business continuing In session another day, and
the whole extra session has been made more or
less of a farce.
The "gospel of peace" is another one that ia
preached more than practiced.
Among other things a pessimist lacks is
faith the kind that moves mountains.
Secretary Bryan's Idea of preventing war Is
fcr nations to give it the once over first.
King Ak-Sar-Hen XXI will have to strike a
swift gait if he wants to lead the procession.
Even though Japan could take the Philip
pines, the question Is, Why should It want to?
Time yet for a few more entries In the school
board race, but no room for lightweights or
grafters.
That's the richest Joke yet going to reor
ganize the county finances with a bricklayer in
place of a plumber.
Philadelphia's heavy artillery, together with
Its fourteen-lnch guns, have thus far not (eased
those Boston uhlans.
Caruso's arrival In this country Incog raises
the suspicion that be expected someone to be at
the dock to meet him. ' '
1! , i
According to British spokesmen, they will
never cease fighting until the Hohenzollerns arc
erased from the map. Some Job!
The nominee for congress on the progressive
ticket In this district is afraid people will forget
he is running. Ills fears are well grounded.
The name of "Governor Dlx" has been Inci
dentally mentioned in the New York campaign.
Governor Dlx! Well, well, we had almost for
gotten him.
A Japanese raid haa put Tap on the map. New
York World.
There, and that, too. after Collier's haa de
clared that the lowest form of wit is a pun on
a name.
Diplomats gathered in London predict the
end of the war la three months. Let us hope
they have stretched it too long, but we recall
predictions at the outset of not mora than six
weeks of fighting. (
"The reI good worker for unionism," so a
labor paper tells us, "feels as if he had done
nothing unless someone kicks about his work."
But that is also true of the real good worker
for any cause that is worth while.
When the dispatches speak of one Austrian
casualty list filling twenty-four columns of a
Vienna newspaper, it should be remembered that
Vienna newspaper columns are considerably
shorter than our newspaper columns.
Just to keep in practice, Mayor "Jim" haa
Issued a Columbus day proclamation, which
nerves the further purpose of reminding us that
If Columbus had only waited 4 22 years he might
have had the pleasure of a "welcome to our city"
by His Honor, Mayor "Jim."
V
ivMHLim raw bza rii."j
The atate convention of the Women's Christian
, t-.njn.me union closed with a reception to. and an
ddrss by. Misa France. K. Wlllard at th. ooera
house. In the morning Miea Wlllard had occupied the
f u i jn vi wie r irai Methouist Eplw-opai church.
John Erck, the Sixteenth atreet hardware mer
chant, baa had hla old frame building moved out ant
placed on Webeter atreet. and will erect a new struc
tuie on the old site. The neighbors, however, are com
plaining aalnat hla blockade of theVtreet.
Mr. J. Levi and Miss Hrsai Sni.-l ..-i.-j .
marriage by Rev. Dr. lUrftld at Falconer's hall. The
attendants or the bridal
Jacob Levi and Charles Orunebaum. and the Mlasc
.nruie Dpiegei ai,a JNeUle Abraham.
The weather Is aaain warm ,nnnrh t- i. ......
and still the merchants are not happy, but aay they
""' nua weainer to ao bualneaa.
The new church building of the Southwest Preeby
terlan church, of which Rev. T. C. Hail ti paator a
the corner of Twentieth and Ieaveaworth atrerta I,
ex pe Ul to be opened lor service next Sunday.
H. W. Day haa conveviul to r rt w. .,.
part of aectluo 1. bloik 13. for con.M.r.n... ... ..r.,
The cloelng same of the ball aeaaon was wltneaaed
by a fair audlsnce at 8t. Mary's Avenue park Very
f. rturiately, no official a.ote was kept, and no fljurca
re tlven to show what the Evanaviu,, did to them
The Nejjro in the Census.
According to a bulletin Just Issued by the
federal census bureau, there was in 1910 a total
of 9,827.763 negroes In the United States, an
increase of 11.6 per cent for the decade, as
against an increase of 20.8 per cent in the native
white population and 30.7 per cent In the
foreign-born white. It should be remembered
that the negro has only his own natural in
crease on which to depend for his population
growth, while the white man has the great in
flux of immigrants and the high birth rate of
many of these to help him out. As a matter of
fact, the same bulletin shows that the negro
death rate is falling Instead of rising.
As to the cry so frequently heard that the
negro is crowding Into the cities in excessive
numbers, let It be noted that at the time this
census was taken the negroes formed 14.6 per
cent of our rural population and only 6.3 per
cent of the urban. This was due. of course, to
the fact that the great majority of southern
negroes reside In the country, while most of
their brethren of the north keep to the cities.
It probably wllj be better for the race, as Booker
T. Washington so earnestly preaches, when a
larger percentage of them get upon the soil.
Undoubtedly the race would grow faster, for
too often city life means unsanitary conditions
for them.
Not the least significant feature of these
later census statistics is the showing of the pro
portion of mulattoes, which now form 20.9 per
cent of the negroes of the country, as. compared
with IS per cent In 1870 and 15.2 per cent in
1190.
Feeding the Firing Line
The Tariff and Farmer.
While the European war has automatically
raised a high tariff wall tround the United
States for the time being, It does not obscure
our view to the effect of the democratic tariff
upon the products of the American farm. Under
this free trade law the bars were thrown down
to the importation of foreign staples in direct
competition with domestic products to an extent
that may be gathered from the following statis
tics issued by the Department of Commerce:
Importations of corn Ruahcla.
During four months ending January 31, 1RI4. 7.0.14. !Tn
Importatlona same period previous year 250,CM)
Importatlona of oata
During four months ending January 31, lfll4.lfi.194.145
Importations name period previous year 33.SS0
Importatlona of potatoes
During four months ending January 31, 1514. 3.?M.ono
Importations aame period previous year ?S.0"0
Importations of butter Pounds.
During four months ending January tl, 114. 4.KT3.nr
Importatlona same period previous year 470,00
Importations of esse Dosen.
During four months ending January 31, 1314. t.RAS.Ml
Importations same period previous year None
On down the list of farm products the door
has been Opened to the cheap labor commodities
of other countries. While the importations for
the first four months under the democratic tariff
are gigantic in comparison with those under re
publican rule, the Increases would continue right
now except for the war. The only relief after
the war ends will be the repeal of the existing
law. Thus far the Wilson administration has
been rather fortunate in diverting attention from
the tariff, hut It cannot hope to have the atten
tions of the American farmer permanently di
verted. The probability is that they have them
now centered on this very subject of the tariff
a good deal more than some may think.
Adrift from Jeffenonianiira.
Secretary McAdoo's rebuke of Congressman
Henry's crazy scheme of issuing 1250.000,000
Panama bonds for the further relief of the cot
ton situation came in time, let us hope, to
arouse the country on this subject. It Is a fine
thing for the federal government to be able to
assist one of the great industries In distress, but,
after all, cotton is not the only branch of trade
and commerce today that Is feeling the effects
of certain abnormal conditions. The secretary
reminds the Texas congressman that the demo
crats cannot exclude consideration of all other
interests in behalf of cotton without violating
their slogan of "equal rights to all, special priv
ileges to none."
Here we are reminded of Secretary Bryan's
appeal to Congressman Levy for the return of
Monticello to the government at a time when It
is under a distinctively Jeffersonlan administra
tion. Realising to what paternalistic lengths
this administration has gone In many matters,
and might still have gone if some of the patriots
of the Henry type bad their way, this remark of
Mr. Bryan's is laughable. As a matter of fact.
if the home of Thomas Jefferson is restored to
the possession of the government at this partic
ular time, the anomaly of It will be that it comes
back under such a regime so far adrift from
true Jeffersonlanlsm.
What an Ktiallnh Soldier arrlea.
The. Enirllf-h Infantry aoldler, when he poca into
action, carrlea with hltn an cmrraency ration iknowti
In the service aa the "Iron ration' ), which la ac.
curely parked In a canvas receptacle on the man a
equipment, and Z') rounds of ammunition. Tin;
ammunition la carried In the bandolier or pouch, with
the exception of ten rounrta. which are stored away
In the magazine of the rifle, and to be used In ?n
envrKency y maintain the troops In a state of
flghtlnK efficiency, relates the Msnchesier Jua--dlan,
the supplies of food or ammunition must n t
Klvo out. If either supply doee fall the army Im
mediately become Ineffective; It cannot bold Its
ground, and disaster must follow.
The dlf flrultlca attending- the adequate trovlsloninB
of an army In the field are great, and the larger
the army the trrrater are thcae difficulties. Every
operation In the field will depend on the manner in
which the administrative sc. vices, by their organi
sation, are able to leaaen the fatigue Inseparable from
marching agalnat the enemy (the men, with ammuni
tion, carry a total weight of about fifty ound each),
maintain their ability, and generally to keep tho
efficiency of the troops unimpaired. The troops must
not be starved either from want of food for their
stomachs or for their Implements of war. "Feeding
the firing linn" Is a general term to embrace both
these duties in war.
Ilandllnar Sappllea.
The whole system of the F.ngllMh army supply baa
been greatly changed since the South African war.
The new chain of supply glvea between one or two
days' "Iron" rations In the haveraai k. half a day s
ration" "Iron rations In the haversack, half a day's
grocery In the train or supply column, making a
total of two and one-half to three and one-halt day'
rations with the field units, aa agninat five and one
half days' supply tinder the old system. The qubji
tlty of supplies provided now la actually less. Tho
nem- system Is now on Its trial, and It is believed
that It will be found an Improvement on the old, be
cause through the use of motor-lurries In the supply
column, the radius of actlyn has been Increased ami
the delivery of supplies accelerated. it haa been
proved In practice thnt tho three-ton lurries over
average roads can deliver their loads forty-seven
miles away and return empty the same day. Their
speed has worked out at twelve to fourteen miles
on hour, and that of the thirty hundred weight van
used for the cavalry supplies at sixteen or twenty
inllea.
The present "emergency ration" for use on actlvj
service consists of chocolate, with added plasmon Or
other equally suitable milk proteld. The food la
wrapped In vegetable parchment paper, and packed In
tins, each containing six and one-half ounces. This
ration Is not to be opened except by order of an
officer or In extremity. It Is calculated to maintain
strength for thirty-six houra, If eaten or drunk in
amall quantities at a time. To prepare the beverage
the scrapings of a ration are boiled In a half pint of
water. The "Iron" ration is made up of one pound
of preserved meat, twelve ounces of biscuit, five
eighth ounce of tea, two ounces of sugar, one-half
ounce of salt, three ounces of cheese and two cubes
(one ounce), of meat extract.
Field Kitchens.
In this war we shall test the utility nf the field
or portable kitchen. The traveling kitchen has for
years been tried and approved in the French, Russian
and German armies, and la now being lined by eacli
of these armies In the field. The English field
kitchen Is a two-horse limbered vehicle; It cooks for
'M men, allowing ten quarts of hot food for every
twelve men. The rear part of the wagon contains
a fire and four cooking pots In addition to a hot
water boiler. Groceries, too, are carried. The only
drawback to these cooking carts Is that they mater
ially Increase the length of the baggage columns, and
as an army corps with Its baggage takes up seven
teen miles of road, this Is a serious objection. But
the traveling kitchens have proved their value. They
enable a soldier to have a hot meal on reaching liU
bivouac.
In order safely to send reinforcements to the firing
Una to meet the wastage of war to convey food to
the troops, to transport small arm ammunition and
shells for the guns, and generally to provide for the
requirements of an army in battle, a "line of com
munications" from tho base of operations to the firing
line must be established. The wartage of war is
calculated differently in the various arms. The av
erage Is fixed at 70 per cent of he army In the field
during the first year of a campaign. In this period
and on this rough basis tho number of men passed
along the lines of communication for a single division
will be roughly 14,000 to maintain the formation at
field strength. To feed this force the weight it
supplies and forage which would have to pass along
the line dally Is represented by 110 tons, and requires
for Its transport eighty-five general service wagons
or thlrty-nlne lurries. X further calculation of
road space shows that the convoy would occupy
over three-quarters of a mile of road, or half a
mile If mechanical transport la employed. The gun
ammunition to be maintained on the lines of com
munication as a reserve for a single division nf
troops weighs 37S tons, the rifle ammunition 173 tons,
and machine-gun ammunition nine tons, making a
grand total of tons which has to be kept always
available to pass to the front. There Is also the
transport of sick and wounded to be passed from the
front to the hospital at the bass.
Amaaaaltlem for the Front.
yulok-flring guna and rifles throw away tons of
lead tn a very short time, and the maintenance of
an adequate supply tinder modem conditions Is ,
question that has constantly received the serious
attention of the authorities for many years. Tho
system of supply, today, Is briefly explained as fol
lows: Carts loaded with tons of ammunition ap
proach to within 1.000 yards of the firing line (if the
ground is broken they may get nearer), and pack
animals one per company each carry two boxes
of ammunition from the carta to within 400 or 600
yards of the line. From the pack animals the am
munition is taken by specially appointed carriers
right up to the front. Each carrier carries over Ills
shoulder a large ammunition bag from which he
distributes the cartridges to the fighters. These
carriers are continually running back to the pack
animals for additional supplies, and the park ani
mals are running to and from the carts in order to
keep a plentiful supply tn the field. Bandsmen are
as a rule employed as ammunition carriers or
stretcher-bearers, and supernumeraries collect the
ammunition from the killed and wounded and dis
tribute It to the firing line or to the "support." while
officers and buglers keep fifty rounds to be dis
tributed In any emergency.
Horses, too, carry an emergency ration In the field
of from twelve pounds to fifteen pounds of corn.
Other forage la carried In the supply columns, and
there are reserve packs, each with carrying rapacity
for two days' reserve grain,, to be used when required.
J5l
People and Events
A movement Is under way In New York City to
teach children how to buy food The reform will not
get much of a boost from the neighborhood candy and
cake shops.
A crusade against unsightly billboards in Kansas
City haa reached a stage where a local Judge enjoins
a wrecking movement on the ground that "decoratlvo
art Is entitled to Its day In court."
The Department of Agriculture assures the nation
that thla country can produce all the cheese It needs
In a pinch, too. the makers can put In the goods
enough atmospheric strength to elevate the most senl
tlve olfactories.
There must be considerable side-picking In the
business of selecting school siUs In Chicago. Two
committers of the Board of Education are scrapping
for the Job and threaten to go into court to test their
respective rights.
Ona of the economical schemes proposed In New
York City Is to turn policemen Into lamplighters and
save HO. a year. The author of the pin contends
that members of the "finest" need the exercise as
much aa the city needs the money.
A bunch of thirty-three officers and members of
the Master numbers' association of Pennsylvania
and adjoining states have been invited Into the federal
court at Kne to explain why they maintain a price
combine that la as tight as a riveted Joint.
rtef ontrlnntlons ea timely
topic invited. The Bee asswmes
ao reepcnsfblllty tot opinions of
correspondents. All letters sub
ject to condensation by editor.
( sllilnws for I nlrman,
OMAHA Oct. lO.-To the K.lltor of The
Ilee: It Is certainly disgusting to what
vlllliiratlon Knglishinent will stoop to
discredit the moral stM tiding of German
soldiers and German offi I.-ils. In a New
York dispatch you published, Captain
t'olemnn of the Lusltanl.i gave out the
statement that German soldiers, under
crders from hi?h millt.iry authorities,
turned thtir machine nuns on th-
wounded, killing them almost to a man!
If Coleman Is In command of an F.ni?lis'.i
flilp such as the Luaitanla. I must say he Is
a mighty small man on a big Job, or he
would not make a statement like the one
attributed to him, no matter how rank
his hatred against the Germans might be.
To my mind, I'oleman haa missed hi
calling. He oiiRht to be a skipper of a
whaling schooner. Instead of commanding
one of the finest Atlantic liners.
GEORGK A NT MRS.
Differences to Be Expected.
WATERLOO, Neb.. Oct. 10-To the
Kditor of The Bee; Your correspondent.
D. K. Smith, says "that very sacred thing,
the right not to vote, should be re
spected." It probably will be. But be
cause some women are too busy, or too
timid, or too Ignorant, or too Indifferent,
or too good to vote, is no reason why the
franchise should be withheld from the
great body of home-loving, moral, In
telligent women who would certainly vote
for the best Interests of the family.
Loral conditions account for certain
wet towns In California and Colorado.
For Instance, Tasadena is especially at
tractive to the rich tourist, the class that
demands liquor served with meals. Also
the residents are mostly very wealthy
"easterners," many of whom are not In
favor of temperance restrictions.
Kabli Stephen O. Wise In an address
In Connecticut said: "In San Francisco a
friend of mine told ma woman's vote had
made no difference In public affairs. I
felt allocked and asked for more Informa
tion. Finally my friend said there had
been no material change except that the
schools had been Improved, new play
grounds have been established, more
parks opened, the streets kept cleaner,
many saloons and brothels closed and a
few other little changes. Otherwise It
had not made much difference."
You find the same little differences all
over California. Juat as you will In Ne
braska If equal suffrage wins.
MRS. ADIL.L.B BARBER.
Type of Women Antls.
OMAHA, Oct. 10,-To the Editor of The
Bee: The personnel of the women who
are opposing the extension of the fran
chise to their sex Is always Interesting
to those who have not followed the
growth of the anti-suffrage movement.
Mrs. Arthur Murray Dodge, president of
the National Association Opposed to
Suffrage, Is also president of the Federa
tion of Day Nurseries and vice president
of the Legal Aid society of New York.
She founded and supports the Jewel Day
nursery, perhaps the most famous day
nursery In this country. Mlsa Ida Tar
bcll. author of "Tho History of the Stand
ard Oil Company;" Kate Douglas Wlggln.
who wrote "Rebecca of Funnybrook
Farm;" Mrs. Ellhu Root and Mrs. Rich
ard Watson Gilder are distinguished
members of the New York State Associa
tion Opposed to Woman Suffrage, as are
also Miss Anna Maxwell, head of the
training school for nurses, Presbyterian
hospital, New Y'ork, and Mrs. Alice Footo
MncDougal, the only woman tea and
coffee broker In that city.
Miss Emily Blssell. president of the
Delaware Anti-Tuberculosis society and
founder of Hope farm for consumptives,
Is a member of the Delaware antts. Miss
Ulssell Is the woman who Introduced the
Red Cross Christmas stamp Into this
country. Mrs. Thomas J. Preston (Mrs.
Grover Cleveland) and Mrs. Garret A.
Hobart, widow of McKlnlcy's vice presi
dent, sre both officers of the New Jersey
Association Opposed to Woman Suffrage.
Mrs. Nicholas Longworth, sr. is honor
sry president of the Ohio antls and Mrs.
William Howard Taft Is a member of our
Connecticut association. Miss Mabel
Boardman, president of the American Red
Cross society, Is an antl, as is also Dr.
Lucy Bannister, author of "The Pretty
Girl Papers." The late Mrs. Woodrow
Wilson was also opposed to woman suf
frage. Such Is the type of woman who thinks
our sex can be-st serve Its country by re
fusing to Join one of the various political
factions. MARJOR1E DORMAN.
What American People Admire.
PLATTBMOLTH, Neb., Oct. 10 To the
Editor of The Bee: It was with very
much pain and surprise that I learned
that former President Roosevelt 1 Is a
"humbug." aa explained by Mr. Agnew.
Mr. Agnew'e verdict will come as a great
shock to the civilised world, and I am
afraid some of our history will have to
bo revised on account of It. Now why
couldn't he have given u this informa
tion before and thus saved those of us
who believed Mr. Roosevelt a great man,
the humllltatlon of changing our minds.
Mr. Roosevelt probably became a hum
bug In Mr. Agnew's opinion when he re
fused to sacrifice principle for party and
became a progressive. Abrahsm Lincoln
became a humbug In the eyes of a great
many people when he placed his convic
tions above party and became a republi
can, and I suppose that even George
Washington was considered a "humbug"
by King George because he repudiated
England and risked hla life and fortune
fighting with his ragged continentals
against "taxation without representa
tion." The bravest thing that Mr. Roose
velt ever did was when he, refusing to
compromise with the great political ma
chine opposing blm, and risking his whole
political future, came out squarely for the
principles he believed right.
Really, I am afraid Mr. Agnew spoke
too late, for It there la anything th
American people admire it Is a man with
his back to the wall fighting against odda.
C. L. WILES.
An Appeal to Kalrneaa.
SOCTIl OMAHA. Neb . Oct. a. 1914. To
the Editor of The Bee: Although th
seats of our Omaha street cars are un
fortunately arranged to permit over
crowding, th habits of some passengers
make th nuisance worse For example,
In a car one will see women with bundles
piled beside them, paying no heed to
those who enter the car and hang on the
straps. Others men and women will lay
their overcoats beside tbem, and will not
remove these to their laps until sotn
person, bolder than the average, requests
the space.
But a worse habit la practiced with
greater frequency. Instead of sitting
with ther barks to the windows, two
persons w ill turn In the seats, their knees
touching in front, and sit diagonallv
facing each other. Thus they manage to
occupy space which would comfortably
scat three and evi n four persons. I have
seen women with babies, and men tired
by the day s work, compelled to Bland
while these person" calmly looked out the
window. If the sinners against courtesy
are men, the standing woman is usually
too timid to ak them to sit so she mav
have j.pa- e. If they are women, the man'
dislikes to address tl em with the seem-
Inglv discourteous request that they sit
properly. This nuisance Is so lummon '
that I trust you will publish this, and up-
peal to the sense of fairness which must
exl.ut even In such animals as I have de- )
ar ribed. t'ndoubtedly tliey will see that in I
public conveyances they should be I
thoughtful of the rights of others.
CARL S. GLA I F1".LTER.
1.M0 North Twenty-third street.
lie Had the Toothache,
SOCTH OMAHA, Oct. 10-To the Editor
of The Bee: My friend, W. F. Burdlck.
had the toothache so that his Jaw was
badly swollen the day before ho made his
kick about my article wherein I statcl
that Roosevelt Is tne greatest political
humbug of the country. And I rucfr h
still has that complaint, by the way hla
letter reads.
Mr. Burdick is the first man I ev-?r
knew who railed me sour. 1 admit that
I eat a great many pickles, but they sim
ply make me sweet-tempered instead of
sour. It amuses me to see Mr. Burdlck
squirm because 1 roast some of his ideals.
There has never been a public man in
the history rf the I'nited States who haa
been so free in calling those who oppose
him crooks, scoundrels, thieves and liars
as Roosevelt. There has never been a
greater boss In the history of the country
than Roosevelt, yet he is the first one to
howl about bosses. The question in 131
was whether the republican party should
run Its own affairs or whether It should
delegate all Its powers to Roosevelt. The
democratic party never had been able to
run this country In a successful manner
and never will be. By practically destroy
ing the protective system, the revenues
of the country had to be made up In some
way, so bond Issues or war taxes always
come when the democratic party Is in
power. Such things never occurred when
the republican party was In power.
As to denouncing Roosevelt. Bryan and
Wilson. I will say that no one was freer
In denouncing "Old Bill Taft" in 1912 than
Mr. Burdlck. Mr. Burdick in the last
five years has been a democrat, a repub
lican, a socialist, a suffragette, and now
claims to be a "progressive." Whin a
party is held together to satisfy the spito
of one man, with the sole and only pur
pose of defeating the party that mado
him, It Is time the laws provided that a
little minority party should not practically
control the results of the elections.
I am not a aour fellow In any sene of
the word, and because I see fit to criti
cise the actions of political leaders, I do
not see how that makes me sour a bit.
1 am one of the best-natured lcllows in
the world, and write "mean "things at
times just for the fun of the thing.
F. A. AGNEW.
LAUGHING GAS.
"li.l v.iur uncle lemcmber you in his
will""
"Yes; he directed his executors to collect
the loans he had made me." Boston
Tianeeript.
Examiner Now, W illiam. If a man can
do one-fourth of a piece of work In two
doys. how long will he t lite to finish It?
William Is it a contract Job, or Is he
workin' by the day?-Lif.
".t what hour did the defendant hold
up tlie al'on?"
"At five minutes to twelve."
"How can vou fix the minute so posi
tively?" "riecause I noticed thnt even the clock
had Its hands up." - Louisville Courier
Journal. "What this new dance they call 'the
lame duck?' "
"( Ml. I suppose It's something Invented
f-T the benefit of the old boys who have
the gout." Washington Star.
"My dear boy, I think the rate at which
you drive vnur motor car is shocking!"
"That's all liKht. Auntie: I always use
a shock absorber. 'Baltimore American.
"How is an ouM.der to know which
side is really winning.'''
"Make up your mind which fide you
want to win and then read the official
leports from its war office." Buffalo
Express.
"Little Brings certainly does have awfut
luck '
"W hat has hapened tn li'.m now?"
"Why. he eloped in a taxleab with the
Van Spender helres.. who had forgotten
to take any money with her. So the taxi
man brought em both back to her
father's. "Cleveland Plain Dealer.
An Irishman met a big Sikh.
Said the Sikh: "On your way, you old
Mikh."
The Sikh was real rude.
An the Mikh was half stude.
So the Mikh tilt the Sikh with a brlkh.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
HERR VON KLUCK.
New York World.
It was three weeks ago today
That first we heard the allies say,
"Tomorrow morning you'll have learned
How von Kluck's rlpht flank has been
turned."
Somehow the turning movement stuck;
He didn't budge, did Hcrr von Kluck!
A few days later word from Paris
Announced that two new corps would
harass
Von Kluck's right wing, and rank by rank
Manoeuver round and turn his flank.
Hut these new corps had rotten luck;
It's no dead cinch to turn von Kluck.
A week went by when we were glad
To get a cable from Petrograd.
It said von Kluck's communication
Was threatened with annihilation.
But he stood pat and passed the buck:
He's got sonic flank, has Hcrr von Kluck;
And all last week our headlines whirled
With the various ways von Kluck was
"hurled ;"
Von Kluck's right flank was being
pounded:
Von Kluck's whole army'd been sur-,
rounded;
The hour for turning that flank hsd
struck!
But the flank's still there, and so"s von
Kluck.
So take your kaisers and princes snd
grafs.
Your iron crosses and general staffs.
Your General Joffres and Sir John
Frenches.
AVith all their men In the shelter
trenches;
I'll take for mine that game old buck
Who won't be turned Js, Herr von
Kluck!
in live Ecrtdim .ftot bl fWT.
to clean.
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. Read one installment of W
"The Trey O' Hearts" f
Each Sunday in