JHF, HBF,: OMAHA, MONDAY, OCTOKKK 12. 1914. THE OMAHA DAILY BEE FOUNDED BY EDWARD KOSKWATF.R. VICTOR ROSF.WATF.K, EDITOR. Th Hw Publishing Company. Proprie-tor. pf.k building, farnam and sf.vf.ntkf.nth. Entered tt Omsha postofflce as second-class matter. TEKM3 OP StBPCnirTloN. By earner By mall per month. pr vmr i.ntly and Pnndar k' f, in Iinlly without Sunday....' c 4 00 KNenlng and Sundav v on K.ventng without Sunday to 4.00 Sunday Bee only - 1 Fer.1 notice of rhanae of address or complaints of 1rr-ilarlty In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation I apartment. RF.MITTANCK. Remit by draft. enpresa or postsi order. Only two cent stamps received In pymmt of small ac counts I'ereonal checks, xcrpt on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accepted. OFFICF.S. Omaha Th Bee Rutldln Couth Omaha 2S18 N atreet. Council Bluffs 14 North Main street. Lincoln-! Little Building. Chicago i Hearst Building New York Room 111. Fifth avenue. Ft. Txuils-WH New Hank of Commerce. Washlnrton 725 Fourteenth Ft., N. W. C IRK F.S TON PENCE). Address communications relating to news and edi torial matter to Omaha Bee, Tutorial Department. S K I'T K M 1 1 K It C I HCl LATIOX. 56,519 Plat of Nebraska, County of Dnuglaa, aa. Iwvlght Williams, circulation manatter of The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, aays that the average dally clrrulatlon for the month of Scp temher. ll4, ,rt,6lst nWHWlT WILLIAMS. Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my preaence and aworn to before me, this 2d Cay of October. 1014. ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public Subscribers tearing U dtj temporarily should bare Hie Bee mailed to them. Ad drcs trill te changed as often as requested. Noticed how the Chautauquas escaped the war tax? When It cornea to big guns, those Germans have theni. Why the Philippine! Now? Soni weeks ago houso demorrats resur rected the old Philippine civil government bill and forced its consideration to the exclusion of the anti-trust and rural credits measures, whose enactment the president mentioned as among the original objects of the preient extra session. He emphasized rural credits, in fact, as almost equal In Importance to currency reform, for which a previous extra session had been held. Vet this and other legislation on which the de mand for the present session rested Is now shoved aside while members engage in long dis sertations on the wisdom of enlarging the meas ure of local self-government to the Filipino, a thing that has been consistently done ever since we assumed control of the Islands. Tbls much must be "aid for the democrats, though, that not In all the endless volumes of debate has anyone pretended to make out that this Is emergency legislation. No one has thus far so much as suggested a reason for bringing It up at this time. The only fair conclusion, therefore, seems to be that It Is done to divert public attention from soraehtlng else which the majority party wishes to keep in the background at this time. Could It be the tariff? Could It be that the democratic leaders felt It would be wise to beat this old Philippine tom-tom on the eve of election as a means of diverting the minds of the voters from the main Issue? In any event, this much seems plain, If congress has nothing more Important to consider than the Philippine bill which may be considered Just as well a year from now then it has no business continuing In session another day, and the whole extra session has been made more or less of a farce. The "gospel of peace" is another one that ia preached more than practiced. Among other things a pessimist lacks is faith the kind that moves mountains. Secretary Bryan's Idea of preventing war Is fcr nations to give it the once over first. King Ak-Sar-Hen XXI will have to strike a swift gait if he wants to lead the procession. Even though Japan could take the Philip pines, the question Is, Why should It want to? Time yet for a few more entries In the school board race, but no room for lightweights or grafters. That's the richest Joke yet going to reor ganize the county finances with a bricklayer in place of a plumber. Philadelphia's heavy artillery, together with Its fourteen-lnch guns, have thus far not (eased those Boston uhlans. Caruso's arrival In this country Incog raises the suspicion that be expected someone to be at the dock to meet him. ' ' 1! , i According to British spokesmen, they will never cease fighting until the Hohenzollerns arc erased from the map. Some Job! The nominee for congress on the progressive ticket In this district is afraid people will forget he is running. Ills fears are well grounded. The name of "Governor Dlx" has been Inci dentally mentioned in the New York campaign. Governor Dlx! Well, well, we had almost for gotten him. A Japanese raid haa put Tap on the map. New York World. There, and that, too. after Collier's haa de clared that the lowest form of wit is a pun on a name. Diplomats gathered in London predict the end of the war la three months. Let us hope they have stretched it too long, but we recall predictions at the outset of not mora than six weeks of fighting. ( "The reI good worker for unionism," so a labor paper tells us, "feels as if he had done nothing unless someone kicks about his work." But that is also true of the real good worker for any cause that is worth while. When the dispatches speak of one Austrian casualty list filling twenty-four columns of a Vienna newspaper, it should be remembered that Vienna newspaper columns are considerably shorter than our newspaper columns. Just to keep in practice, Mayor "Jim" haa Issued a Columbus day proclamation, which nerves the further purpose of reminding us that If Columbus had only waited 4 22 years he might have had the pleasure of a "welcome to our city" by His Honor, Mayor "Jim." V ivMHLim raw bza rii."j The atate convention of the Women's Christian , t-.njn.me union closed with a reception to. and an ddrss by. Misa France. K. Wlllard at th. ooera house. In the morning Miea Wlllard had occupied the f u i jn vi wie r irai Methouist Eplw-opai church. John Erck, the Sixteenth atreet hardware mer chant, baa had hla old frame building moved out ant placed on Webeter atreet. and will erect a new struc tuie on the old site. The neighbors, however, are com plaining aalnat hla blockade of theVtreet. Mr. J. Levi and Miss Hrsai Sni.-l ..-i.-j . marriage by Rev. Dr. lUrftld at Falconer's hall. The attendants or the bridal Jacob Levi and Charles Orunebaum. and the Mlasc .nruie Dpiegei ai,a JNeUle Abraham. The weather Is aaain warm ,nnnrh t- i. ...... and still the merchants are not happy, but aay they ""' nua weainer to ao bualneaa. The new church building of the Southwest Preeby terlan church, of which Rev. T. C. Hail ti paator a the corner of Twentieth and Ieaveaworth atrerta I, ex pe Ul to be opened lor service next Sunday. H. W. Day haa conveviul to r rt w. .,. part of aectluo 1. bloik 13. for con.M.r.n... ... ..r., The cloelng same of the ball aeaaon was wltneaaed by a fair audlsnce at 8t. Mary's Avenue park Very f. rturiately, no official a.ote was kept, and no fljurca re tlven to show what the Evanaviu,, did to them The Nejjro in the Census. According to a bulletin Just Issued by the federal census bureau, there was in 1910 a total of 9,827.763 negroes In the United States, an increase of 11.6 per cent for the decade, as against an increase of 20.8 per cent in the native white population and 30.7 per cent In the foreign-born white. It should be remembered that the negro has only his own natural in crease on which to depend for his population growth, while the white man has the great in flux of immigrants and the high birth rate of many of these to help him out. As a matter of fact, the same bulletin shows that the negro death rate is falling Instead of rising. As to the cry so frequently heard that the negro is crowding Into the cities in excessive numbers, let It be noted that at the time this census was taken the negroes formed 14.6 per cent of our rural population and only 6.3 per cent of the urban. This was due. of course, to the fact that the great majority of southern negroes reside In the country, while most of their brethren of the north keep to the cities. It probably wllj be better for the race, as Booker T. Washington so earnestly preaches, when a larger percentage of them get upon the soil. Undoubtedly the race would grow faster, for too often city life means unsanitary conditions for them. Not the least significant feature of these later census statistics is the showing of the pro portion of mulattoes, which now form 20.9 per cent of the negroes of the country, as. compared with IS per cent In 1870 and 15.2 per cent in 1190. Feeding the Firing Line The Tariff and Farmer. While the European war has automatically raised a high tariff wall tround the United States for the time being, It does not obscure our view to the effect of the democratic tariff upon the products of the American farm. Under this free trade law the bars were thrown down to the importation of foreign staples in direct competition with domestic products to an extent that may be gathered from the following statis tics issued by the Department of Commerce: Importations of corn Ruahcla. During four months ending January 31, 1RI4. 7.0.14. !Tn Importatlona same period previous year 250,CM) Importatlona of oata During four months ending January 31, lfll4.lfi.194.145 Importations name period previous year 33.SS0 Importatlona of potatoes During four months ending January 31, 1514. 3.?M.ono Importations aame period previous year ?S.0"0 Importations of butter Pounds. During four months ending January tl, 114. 4.KT3.nr Importatlona same period previous year 470,00 Importations of esse Dosen. During four months ending January 31, 1314. t.RAS.Ml Importations same period previous year None On down the list of farm products the door has been Opened to the cheap labor commodities of other countries. While the importations for the first four months under the democratic tariff are gigantic in comparison with those under re publican rule, the Increases would continue right now except for the war. The only relief after the war ends will be the repeal of the existing law. Thus far the Wilson administration has been rather fortunate in diverting attention from the tariff, hut It cannot hope to have the atten tions of the American farmer permanently di verted. The probability is that they have them now centered on this very subject of the tariff a good deal more than some may think. Adrift from Jeffenonianiira. Secretary McAdoo's rebuke of Congressman Henry's crazy scheme of issuing 1250.000,000 Panama bonds for the further relief of the cot ton situation came in time, let us hope, to arouse the country on this subject. It Is a fine thing for the federal government to be able to assist one of the great industries In distress, but, after all, cotton is not the only branch of trade and commerce today that Is feeling the effects of certain abnormal conditions. The secretary reminds the Texas congressman that the demo crats cannot exclude consideration of all other interests in behalf of cotton without violating their slogan of "equal rights to all, special priv ileges to none." Here we are reminded of Secretary Bryan's appeal to Congressman Levy for the return of Monticello to the government at a time when It is under a distinctively Jeffersonlan administra tion. Realising to what paternalistic lengths this administration has gone In many matters, and might still have gone if some of the patriots of the Henry type bad their way, this remark of Mr. Bryan's is laughable. As a matter of fact. if the home of Thomas Jefferson is restored to the possession of the government at this partic ular time, the anomaly of It will be that it comes back under such a regime so far adrift from true Jeffersonlanlsm. What an Ktiallnh Soldier arrlea. The. Enirllf-h Infantry aoldler, when he poca into action, carrlea with hltn an cmrraency ration iknowti In the service aa the "Iron ration' ), which la ac. curely parked In a canvas receptacle on the man a equipment, and Z') rounds of ammunition. Tin; ammunition la carried In the bandolier or pouch, with the exception of ten rounrta. which are stored away In the magazine of the rifle, and to be used In ?n envrKency y maintain the troops In a state of flghtlnK efficiency, relates the Msnchesier Jua--dlan, the supplies of food or ammunition must n t Klvo out. If either supply doee fall the army Im mediately become Ineffective; It cannot bold Its ground, and disaster must follow. The dlf flrultlca attending- the adequate trovlsloninB of an army In the field are great, and the larger the army the trrrater are thcae difficulties. Every operation In the field will depend on the manner in which the administrative sc. vices, by their organi sation, are able to leaaen the fatigue Inseparable from marching agalnat the enemy (the men, with ammuni tion, carry a total weight of about fifty ound each), maintain their ability, and generally to keep tho efficiency of the troops unimpaired. The troops must not be starved either from want of food for their stomachs or for their Implements of war. "Feeding the firing linn" Is a general term to embrace both these duties in war. Ilandllnar Sappllea. The whole system of the F.ngllMh army supply baa been greatly changed since the South African war. The new chain of supply glvea between one or two days' "Iron" rations In the haveraai k. half a day s ration" "Iron rations In the haversack, half a day's grocery In the train or supply column, making a total of two and one-half to three and one-halt day' rations with the field units, aa agninat five and one half days' supply tinder the old system. The qubji tlty of supplies provided now la actually less. Tho nem- system Is now on Its trial, and It is believed that It will be found an Improvement on the old, be cause through the use of motor-lurries In the supply column, the radius of actlyn has been Increased ami the delivery of supplies accelerated. it haa been proved In practice thnt tho three-ton lurries over average roads can deliver their loads forty-seven miles away and return empty the same day. Their speed has worked out at twelve to fourteen miles on hour, and that of the thirty hundred weight van used for the cavalry supplies at sixteen or twenty inllea. The present "emergency ration" for use on actlvj service consists of chocolate, with added plasmon Or other equally suitable milk proteld. The food la wrapped In vegetable parchment paper, and packed In tins, each containing six and one-half ounces. This ration Is not to be opened except by order of an officer or In extremity. It Is calculated to maintain strength for thirty-six houra, If eaten or drunk in amall quantities at a time. To prepare the beverage the scrapings of a ration are boiled In a half pint of water. The "Iron" ration is made up of one pound of preserved meat, twelve ounces of biscuit, five eighth ounce of tea, two ounces of sugar, one-half ounce of salt, three ounces of cheese and two cubes (one ounce), of meat extract. Field Kitchens. In this war we shall test the utility nf the field or portable kitchen. The traveling kitchen has for years been tried and approved in the French, Russian and German armies, and la now being lined by eacli of these armies In the field. The English field kitchen Is a two-horse limbered vehicle; It cooks for 'M men, allowing ten quarts of hot food for every twelve men. The rear part of the wagon contains a fire and four cooking pots In addition to a hot water boiler. Groceries, too, are carried. The only drawback to these cooking carts Is that they mater ially Increase the length of the baggage columns, and as an army corps with Its baggage takes up seven teen miles of road, this Is a serious objection. But the traveling kitchens have proved their value. They enable a soldier to have a hot meal on reaching liU bivouac. In order safely to send reinforcements to the firing Una to meet the wastage of war to convey food to the troops, to transport small arm ammunition and shells for the guns, and generally to provide for the requirements of an army in battle, a "line of com munications" from tho base of operations to the firing line must be established. The wartage of war is calculated differently in the various arms. The av erage Is fixed at 70 per cent of he army In the field during the first year of a campaign. In this period and on this rough basis tho number of men passed along the lines of communication for a single division will be roughly 14,000 to maintain the formation at field strength. To feed this force the weight it supplies and forage which would have to pass along the line dally Is represented by 110 tons, and requires for Its transport eighty-five general service wagons or thlrty-nlne lurries. X further calculation of road space shows that the convoy would occupy over three-quarters of a mile of road, or half a mile If mechanical transport la employed. The gun ammunition to be maintained on the lines of com munication as a reserve for a single division nf troops weighs 37S tons, the rifle ammunition 173 tons, and machine-gun ammunition nine tons, making a grand total of tons which has to be kept always available to pass to the front. There Is also the transport of sick and wounded to be passed from the front to the hospital at the bass. Amaaaaltlem for the Front. yulok-flring guna and rifles throw away tons of lead tn a very short time, and the maintenance of an adequate supply tinder modem conditions Is , question that has constantly received the serious attention of the authorities for many years. Tho system of supply, today, Is briefly explained as fol lows: Carts loaded with tons of ammunition ap proach to within 1.000 yards of the firing line (if the ground is broken they may get nearer), and pack animals one per company each carry two boxes of ammunition from the carta to within 400 or 600 yards of the line. From the pack animals the am munition is taken by specially appointed carriers right up to the front. Each carrier carries over Ills shoulder a large ammunition bag from which he distributes the cartridges to the fighters. These carriers are continually running back to the pack animals for additional supplies, and the park ani mals are running to and from the carts in order to keep a plentiful supply tn the field. Bandsmen are as a rule employed as ammunition carriers or stretcher-bearers, and supernumeraries collect the ammunition from the killed and wounded and dis tribute It to the firing line or to the "support." while officers and buglers keep fifty rounds to be dis tributed In any emergency. Horses, too, carry an emergency ration In the field of from twelve pounds to fifteen pounds of corn. Other forage la carried In the supply columns, and there are reserve packs, each with carrying rapacity for two days' reserve grain,, to be used when required. J5l People and Events A movement Is under way In New York City to teach children how to buy food The reform will not get much of a boost from the neighborhood candy and cake shops. A crusade against unsightly billboards in Kansas City haa reached a stage where a local Judge enjoins a wrecking movement on the ground that "decoratlvo art Is entitled to Its day In court." The Department of Agriculture assures the nation that thla country can produce all the cheese It needs In a pinch, too. the makers can put In the goods enough atmospheric strength to elevate the most senl tlve olfactories. There must be considerable side-picking In the business of selecting school siUs In Chicago. Two committers of the Board of Education are scrapping for the Job and threaten to go into court to test their respective rights. Ona of the economical schemes proposed In New York City Is to turn policemen Into lamplighters and save HO. a year. The author of the pin contends that members of the "finest" need the exercise as much aa the city needs the money. A bunch of thirty-three officers and members of the Master numbers' association of Pennsylvania and adjoining states have been invited Into the federal court at Kne to explain why they maintain a price combine that la as tight as a riveted Joint. rtef ontrlnntlons ea timely topic invited. The Bee asswmes ao reepcnsfblllty tot opinions of correspondents. All letters sub ject to condensation by editor. ( sllilnws for I nlrman, OMAHA Oct. lO.-To the K.lltor of The Ilee: It Is certainly disgusting to what vlllliiratlon Knglishinent will stoop to discredit the moral stM tiding of German soldiers and German offi I.-ils. In a New York dispatch you published, Captain t'olemnn of the Lusltanl.i gave out the statement that German soldiers, under crders from hi?h millt.iry authorities, turned thtir machine nuns on th- wounded, killing them almost to a man! If Coleman Is In command of an F.ni?lis'.i flilp such as the Luaitanla. I must say he Is a mighty small man on a big Job, or he would not make a statement like the one attributed to him, no matter how rank his hatred against the Germans might be. To my mind, I'oleman haa missed hi calling. He oiiRht to be a skipper of a whaling schooner. Instead of commanding one of the finest Atlantic liners. GEORGK A NT MRS. Differences to Be Expected. WATERLOO, Neb.. Oct. 10-To the Kditor of The Bee; Your correspondent. D. K. Smith, says "that very sacred thing, the right not to vote, should be re spected." It probably will be. But be cause some women are too busy, or too timid, or too Ignorant, or too Indifferent, or too good to vote, is no reason why the franchise should be withheld from the great body of home-loving, moral, In telligent women who would certainly vote for the best Interests of the family. Loral conditions account for certain wet towns In California and Colorado. For Instance, Tasadena is especially at tractive to the rich tourist, the class that demands liquor served with meals. Also the residents are mostly very wealthy "easterners," many of whom are not In favor of temperance restrictions. Kabli Stephen O. Wise In an address In Connecticut said: "In San Francisco a friend of mine told ma woman's vote had made no difference In public affairs. I felt allocked and asked for more Informa tion. Finally my friend said there had been no material change except that the schools had been Improved, new play grounds have been established, more parks opened, the streets kept cleaner, many saloons and brothels closed and a few other little changes. Otherwise It had not made much difference." You find the same little differences all over California. Juat as you will In Ne braska If equal suffrage wins. MRS. ADIL.L.B BARBER. Type of Women Antls. OMAHA, Oct. 10,-To the Editor of The Bee: The personnel of the women who are opposing the extension of the fran chise to their sex Is always Interesting to those who have not followed the growth of the anti-suffrage movement. Mrs. Arthur Murray Dodge, president of the National Association Opposed to Suffrage, Is also president of the Federa tion of Day Nurseries and vice president of the Legal Aid society of New York. She founded and supports the Jewel Day nursery, perhaps the most famous day nursery In this country. Mlsa Ida Tar bcll. author of "Tho History of the Stand ard Oil Company;" Kate Douglas Wlggln. who wrote "Rebecca of Funnybrook Farm;" Mrs. Ellhu Root and Mrs. Rich ard Watson Gilder are distinguished members of the New York State Associa tion Opposed to Woman Suffrage, as are also Miss Anna Maxwell, head of the training school for nurses, Presbyterian hospital, New Y'ork, and Mrs. Alice Footo MncDougal, the only woman tea and coffee broker In that city. Miss Emily Blssell. president of the Delaware Anti-Tuberculosis society and founder of Hope farm for consumptives, Is a member of the Delaware antts. Miss Ulssell Is the woman who Introduced the Red Cross Christmas stamp Into this country. Mrs. Thomas J. Preston (Mrs. Grover Cleveland) and Mrs. Garret A. Hobart, widow of McKlnlcy's vice presi dent, sre both officers of the New Jersey Association Opposed to Woman Suffrage. Mrs. Nicholas Longworth, sr. is honor sry president of the Ohio antls and Mrs. William Howard Taft Is a member of our Connecticut association. Miss Mabel Boardman, president of the American Red Cross society, Is an antl, as is also Dr. Lucy Bannister, author of "The Pretty Girl Papers." The late Mrs. Woodrow Wilson was also opposed to woman suf frage. Such Is the type of woman who thinks our sex can be-st serve Its country by re fusing to Join one of the various political factions. MARJOR1E DORMAN. What American People Admire. PLATTBMOLTH, Neb., Oct. 10 To the Editor of The Bee: It was with very much pain and surprise that I learned that former President Roosevelt 1 Is a "humbug." aa explained by Mr. Agnew. Mr. Agnew'e verdict will come as a great shock to the civilised world, and I am afraid some of our history will have to bo revised on account of It. Now why couldn't he have given u this informa tion before and thus saved those of us who believed Mr. Roosevelt a great man, the humllltatlon of changing our minds. Mr. Roosevelt probably became a hum bug In Mr. Agnew's opinion when he re fused to sacrifice principle for party and became a progressive. Abrahsm Lincoln became a humbug In the eyes of a great many people when he placed his convic tions above party and became a republi can, and I suppose that even George Washington was considered a "humbug" by King George because he repudiated England and risked hla life and fortune fighting with his ragged continentals against "taxation without representa tion." The bravest thing that Mr. Roose velt ever did was when he, refusing to compromise with the great political ma chine opposing blm, and risking his whole political future, came out squarely for the principles he believed right. Really, I am afraid Mr. Agnew spoke too late, for It there la anything th American people admire it Is a man with his back to the wall fighting against odda. C. L. WILES. An Appeal to Kalrneaa. SOCTIl OMAHA. Neb . Oct. a. 1914. To the Editor of The Bee: Although th seats of our Omaha street cars are un fortunately arranged to permit over crowding, th habits of some passengers make th nuisance worse For example, In a car one will see women with bundles piled beside them, paying no heed to those who enter the car and hang on the straps. Others men and women will lay their overcoats beside tbem, and will not remove these to their laps until sotn person, bolder than the average, requests the space. But a worse habit la practiced with greater frequency. Instead of sitting with ther barks to the windows, two persons w ill turn In the seats, their knees touching in front, and sit diagonallv facing each other. Thus they manage to occupy space which would comfortably scat three and evi n four persons. I have seen women with babies, and men tired by the day s work, compelled to Bland while these person" calmly looked out the window. If the sinners against courtesy are men, the standing woman is usually too timid to ak them to sit so she mav have j.pa- e. If they are women, the man' dislikes to address tl em with the seem- Inglv discourteous request that they sit properly. This nuisance Is so lummon ' that I trust you will publish this, and up- peal to the sense of fairness which must exl.ut even In such animals as I have de- ) ar ribed. t'ndoubtedly tliey will see that in I public conveyances they should be I thoughtful of the rights of others. CARL S. GLA I F1".LTER. 1.M0 North Twenty-third street. lie Had the Toothache, SOCTH OMAHA, Oct. 10-To the Editor of The Bee: My friend, W. F. Burdlck. had the toothache so that his Jaw was badly swollen the day before ho made his kick about my article wherein I statcl that Roosevelt Is tne greatest political humbug of the country. And I rucfr h still has that complaint, by the way hla letter reads. Mr. Burdick is the first man I ev-?r knew who railed me sour. 1 admit that I eat a great many pickles, but they sim ply make me sweet-tempered instead of sour. It amuses me to see Mr. Burdlck squirm because 1 roast some of his ideals. There has never been a public man in the history rf the I'nited States who haa been so free in calling those who oppose him crooks, scoundrels, thieves and liars as Roosevelt. There has never been a greater boss In the history of the country than Roosevelt, yet he is the first one to howl about bosses. The question in 131 was whether the republican party should run Its own affairs or whether It should delegate all Its powers to Roosevelt. The democratic party never had been able to run this country In a successful manner and never will be. By practically destroy ing the protective system, the revenues of the country had to be made up In some way, so bond Issues or war taxes always come when the democratic party Is in power. Such things never occurred when the republican party was In power. As to denouncing Roosevelt. Bryan and Wilson. I will say that no one was freer In denouncing "Old Bill Taft" in 1912 than Mr. Burdlck. Mr. Burdick in the last five years has been a democrat, a repub lican, a socialist, a suffragette, and now claims to be a "progressive." Whin a party is held together to satisfy the spito of one man, with the sole and only pur pose of defeating the party that mado him, It Is time the laws provided that a little minority party should not practically control the results of the elections. I am not a aour fellow In any sene of the word, and because I see fit to criti cise the actions of political leaders, I do not see how that makes me sour a bit. 1 am one of the best-natured lcllows in the world, and write "mean "things at times just for the fun of the thing. F. A. AGNEW. LAUGHING GAS. "li.l v.iur uncle lemcmber you in his will"" "Yes; he directed his executors to collect the loans he had made me." Boston Tianeeript. Examiner Now, W illiam. If a man can do one-fourth of a piece of work In two doys. how long will he t lite to finish It? William Is it a contract Job, or Is he workin' by the day?-Lif. ".t what hour did the defendant hold up tlie al'on?" "At five minutes to twelve." "How can vou fix the minute so posi tively?" "riecause I noticed thnt even the clock had Its hands up." - Louisville Courier Journal. "What this new dance they call 'the lame duck?' " "( Ml. I suppose It's something Invented f-T the benefit of the old boys who have the gout." Washington Star. "My dear boy, I think the rate at which you drive vnur motor car is shocking!" "That's all liKht. Auntie: I always use a shock absorber. 'Baltimore American. "How is an ouM.der to know which side is really winning.''' "Make up your mind which fide you want to win and then read the official leports from its war office." Buffalo Express. "Little Brings certainly does have awfut luck ' "W hat has hapened tn li'.m now?" "Why. he eloped in a taxleab with the Van Spender helres.. who had forgotten to take any money with her. So the taxi man brought em both back to her father's. "Cleveland Plain Dealer. An Irishman met a big Sikh. Said the Sikh: "On your way, you old Mikh." The Sikh was real rude. An the Mikh was half stude. So the Mikh tilt the Sikh with a brlkh. Cincinnati Enquirer. HERR VON KLUCK. New York World. It was three weeks ago today That first we heard the allies say, "Tomorrow morning you'll have learned How von Kluck's rlpht flank has been turned." Somehow the turning movement stuck; He didn't budge, did Hcrr von Kluck! A few days later word from Paris Announced that two new corps would harass Von Kluck's right wing, and rank by rank Manoeuver round and turn his flank. Hut these new corps had rotten luck; It's no dead cinch to turn von Kluck. A week went by when we were glad To get a cable from Petrograd. It said von Kluck's communication Was threatened with annihilation. But he stood pat and passed the buck: He's got sonic flank, has Hcrr von Kluck; And all last week our headlines whirled With the various ways von Kluck was "hurled ;" Von Kluck's right flank was being pounded: Von Kluck's whole army'd been sur-, rounded; The hour for turning that flank hsd struck! But the flank's still there, and so"s von Kluck. So take your kaisers and princes snd grafs. Your iron crosses and general staffs. Your General Joffres and Sir John Frenches. AVith all their men In the shelter trenches; I'll take for mine that game old buck Who won't be turned Js, Herr von Kluck! in live Ecrtdim .ftot bl fWT. to clean. PERFECTION SMOKELEMj HEATERS guaranteed odorless and smokeless. For sal at hardware and general Stores every where. Look for the Triangle trademark. STANDARD OIL COMPANY inbbkaj&a) Omaha Dress in Comfort You need a good, warm room to shave and dress in. A Per fection Smokeless Oil Heater will warm aay ordinary room in a few minutes, The Perfection is port able; you can tak it to sitting-room, cellar or attks any room where extra heat is needed and it ia specially convenient in very cold weather. The Perfection is econo mical, too it bums only when you need it. No coal, no kindling; no dirt, no ashes. Qocxl-looking; easr . Read one installment of W "The Trey O' Hearts" f Each Sunday in