Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, October 05, 1914, Page 4, Image 4
THH HKK: OMAHA, MONDAY. OCTOBER :, 1014. THE OMAHA DAILY BEE FOI NDKD nT KDWARD ROSKWATKR. VICTOR ROSKWATER. EDITOR. The Pw Publishing Company, Proprietor. TKK BflLDlNO. FARNAM AND 8KVKNTEENTH. Entered at Omaha postofflce aa second-elsss matter. TERMS OF SLKWRIPTK'N. By carrier welly and inda plly without Hundsy....' lenlng an. I Sunrtav F.venlng without Sunday.. Sunday Bee only nr month. Me.... c.... r P.y mall per year. H 4 no i 4.00 ,. till Hend notice of char.ae of address or complaints of Irrraularlty In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation Department. RKMITTANTR Ttemlt hr draft, epres or postal order 'f, wo rent stamps receive! In payment of email ac counts Personal checks, except on Omaha and eastern i chance, not accepted. OFFICES. OmshaThe Be ftullrtlng Pouth Omaha Ml N elreet Council Hluffs 14 North Main afreet. Mnroln-K Utile Building, fhlraao 901 Hearst HuUdlnf New York-Room 110S. Fifth itnua Ft Iyula--WU New Hank of Commerce. Washington 726 Fourteenth Bt., N. W. OORREHl'ONDENCB. Address communications relatlnir to nwa and edi torial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. bKITEMUKK C IIKTI.ATIOX. 56,519 Btata of Nebraska. County of Douglas, aa. Dwlght Wllllama, circulation manater of The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that the average daily circulation for the month of Sep tember, IV 14. wa 6.llt DvnuiflfT WIUJAMB. Circulation Manager. Subscribed In my presence and awora to be for me, till 2d fay of Ortober, 1(14. ROBtRT HUNTER, Notary Public. Babecrtbers I oaring lie city temporarily alio old hare The tie mailed to them. Ad dreaa trill be changed aa of tea aa requested. Now, for the big week at Ak-Sar-Den. If prayers will end the war, It mutt soon be all over. I congress going to adjourn and let mer chant marine revival Rink? The expression, "civilized warfare," is enough to make a heathen cry. Peace may have her victories, ibut not at present on the continent of Europe. Armageddon for the time being seeros to be located in Illinois and Pennsylvania. When it comes to the publicity end of the war game, the British have the Germans beat to a fraztle. The real election returns will not bt In until we know the exact monetary effect on. Rnlser as a cbautaulker. The Atlanta Constitution is correct the guntoter Is nine-tenths on the way to the use of the murderous weapon. ' If a discarded cocked bat could be of help, either of the belligerents might be accom modated by applying at our White House, Whether our Ak-Sar-Bea street lighting ia aa emergency or' merely an incident, is yet to be determined by our municipal financiers. Senator Burton's magnificent achievement In puncturing that Inflated rivers and harbors appropriation bill should not be ao toon for gotten. Missouri la also voting on a suffrage amend xnent this fall. But for some reason or other, Missouri la not considered aa fallow ground for reform as Nebraska. By actual count Si paragraphers up to data have observed that the prohlbltlonlata have taken the fin out of Virginia. New Orleans State. Now, for the big week of Ak-Sar-Ben. lowest form of humor Is a pun on a name. The Information bureau looks out for garages for visiting autos as well as rooms for the owners. Another sign of the times which lndi cates the progress made during: these twenty years of Ak-8ar-Ben. Colonel Roosevelt ventures to predict that the progressives will carry Louisiana at the im pending election, and thus make the first real break In the solid south. We fear the colonel is altogether too optimistic. "Ono hour in the sun will produce freckles enough to keep one busy with lotions for an hour," warns a beauty doctor. Whereat one ran almost hear the "bare-toot bay with cheek of tan" observe. "I should worry. H Social Welfare and the War. As s result of the war. Jane Addsms see an eclipse falling over the great social welfare propaganda in tills and othpr countries. Thin re markable movement which has made such head way In the last few years Is, in her vie, sbout to enter a twilight sons from which It will not wholly emerge for years to come. "All organ ized social welfare artlvitlca are put bao.k for )ears," says Miss Addams. "We have to work up public opinion anew." The apprehended mischief Is to lie played by he psychological reaction of wholesale slaughter upon humanity. Human sensibilities bad been whittled down to their finest point, the social consciousness was never more alert. We vaunted the tendency toward universal peace as the climax of our altruistic dreams. "One has a vested right," says Mlsa Addams. "in the finer sensibilities of the human race, which are to be called opon for aid In the betterment of the conditions under which we live. Then comes along a thing like this war and makes its ap peal to brutish instincts and we are thrown back." Some may think Miss Addams too pessi mistic. Others msy knowingly say we had idly reckoned too far on the Influence of our ideals f we forgot the existence of "brutish in stinct" or that we were warned not to deceive ourselves, while yet carrying on our splendid social welfare work, as to the dawn of that bliss ful day when nations shall war no more. But, owever much we may wish that the very horrors of this war shall accelerate the work of war prevention, let us get the force of this observation by Miss Addams: When a million men are suffering in trenches wet nd cold and wounded, what are a few children suf fering under hard condltlona In tha fartorlea? Take old age pensions, upon which England, France and Germany have been working. With widows and fatherless children numbered by the thousands In hose countries, what are a few old people, more or ? It will be years before thesa thlnga ara taken p again. Tha whole social fabrlo la tortured and wlated. i Though new seal and determination may be born out of this awful war, new obstacles to so cial service are sure to come also. But,, of course, MUa Addams Is not thinking that, because the task will be larger, it must be abandoned, but rather that it must enlist our more energetic and unceasing efforts. ' William Allen White says Arthur Capper, republican nominee for governor of Kansas, "la not a man of bluster. And the Kansas City Journal concludes that, therefore, "the 'bull moose party was no place for him," though he strayed into it once. New York has subscribed nearly half of the gold fund, while Chicago, which comes next highest pro rata, puts in a little less than one- alxth. Despite all protests about the money power being no longer entrenched in Wall street, that Is where the coin must still be gotten w hen it is seeded. cu"n o. cewman. pallor of the Madison Ave nue congregational church of New York City, was "" "J a ier audience m Kev. Mr. Hherrlll a inurcn lor nia oiscourse on character, Tha llarveat Homo concert of the Saratoaa. lTio Sunday school presented an Interesting program of muate and recltetlone. Thoae participating were: Mlaa Ruatln, Mlaa Hannah Grucnlg. Mlaa Maaala UrK.. MUa Uzsle Mackanaia, Mlaa Nettle McKay, MUa Cell la iiau-, ansa uerue uica, MUa Anna Craig, MUa Uea Orueolg, Master Wuton CrowelL Rev. Mr. Peltoa and Messrs. vnruue, ttuaua and timith. Tha piece put on at the German theater was "The Karl of Esses." with Mr. Muicnala and Mlaa Sp.hn is lite rvauins; roiei. Mrs. V. J. Martin has gone east to vlatt relatives F. D. Carman of New Turk haa opened a law office in connection wits w. J. lonnells office. W. Elliott of Henry county, Iowa, father of Natha Kllkott of this city, is vUltint; his son for a few dais i. M. Piper of the I niun Pacific headquarters haa raturjed irvm aa eiwnalva trip through the west The Political Party Deadline. No person shall be entitled to or allowed to file a nomination certificate unle.ua tha political party which ha affiliate with polled at tha laat election, before tha primary election to be held, at east one per cent of tha entire vote In the state, county or aub-dlVlaton In which ha seeks the nomi nation for office. Nebraska Flection Law. One per cent of the total vote Is a mighty amall fraction, but It offers opportunity this year for Nebraska to slough off a few party circles like those credited to the populists, the progressives or the prohibitionists, if not throughout the state, at least In most of the various senatorial and representative districts, counties and other minor sub-divisions. In New Jersey where the deadline ia fixed In the pri mary vote, he progressives have Just forfeited their place on the regular ballot by falling to poll the required percentage of the total. In this county the populists have been out of commission for some time, and If the vote in the laat primary were the test, the progressives would be self-eliminated too. The aggregate vote In the entire state In the coming Nebraska election will probably be In the neighborhood of ISO, 000, of which one per cent will be S, BOO. It will be interesting to see whether some of our so-called political parties do not find themselves put hors du combat by the returns. Brief aoatribntloBe aa tUaely topics unved. Taa Bee aaawmae aa reayoaalbtmy for opiate of coir as go seen te. All letters ra t to eoadaasatloa fcr editae Then Someone Must tie Prr Jadlred. SoCTH OMAHA, Oct. S. To the Editor of The lint; I not the letter from my frlond, F. A. Agnew, calling ex-Prelr!ent Koorevclt an "American humbugner." 1 conelder thin a personal Insult, when I now, and the judge knows, that this 1 not true. Juet because T. R. would not be humbugged at Chlrngo In 112. and tha judge now rails him a "humbug." I claim the right to honesty, and believe T. R. Is aa honest and sincere aa A. Lin coln waa. I happen to have lived during LJnon's administration, and I know, and the judge knows, that Llnooln waa more abused than T. R. . I admire the judge for his "frankneas," and h la not ashamed to Men tils name, hut the Judge haa one bad trait he la prejudiced but this I will not admit of myself. The judge seems to think that If Taft had been president thla European war would not have been. This la my view not of Taft, but .if T. R- for T. Tt. la like Rmpemr William: To have peace you muat be prepared for war. T. R. la like myself, no atandnat republican. W believe the 'tilted States Is progressive and all par- tles, the democratic party not excepted, should be progressive In character. J. O. BLEH8INO. Japan's Idea of Ui. A professor in the University of Tokio has recently been quoted by newspapers In New York, where he visited, as saying that certain Interests have persistently and systematically tried to create the impression in Japan that the people of the United States hold the Japanese In contempt and that they are In no sense friends. We have had evidences in this country that, if such perfidious Influences were at work, they have not been entirely unsuccessful, for frequent reports of anti-American demonstra tions In Japan have come to us. It mast be ad mitted, however, that the enlightened view of Americans In Japan Is not this. So far aa the United States Is concerned, It haa been aa a rule generous in its treatment of the Japanese and la now, as a result of the European war, about to enter upon more inti mate relations through the open door of com merce. With the great trading nations of Europe engaged in war, we shall be called on for a large measure of the commerce which they have heretofore supplied. Our merchants and manufacturers will, undoubtedly, make the most of their special opportunity of Impressing Japan with both the friendship of the United States as well as the mutual advantage of their rade In the end, we may feel sure, closer and more cordial relations will ensue. This Is not the time for putting the opportunities which come to us through the crucible of war to mean ad vantage, but rather for cultivating the in tlmacies of confidence and the square deal in business. If we do what is right we may expect large things In Japan. Short Ballot in Kansas. Just by way of illustration and stimulation, let us call the attention of Nebraska to the plight of neighboring Kansas, where the d mand for a short ballot is even stronger than it is with us. While one or two elective offices familiar here are missing there, the Kansas bal lot includes as novelties to us the offices of state superintendent of insurance, state printer and three places on the State Board of Irrlga tlon. County tickets in Kansas are likewise so long-drawn-out as to call for radical revision, one of the boasts cf Henry J. Allen, in his cam palgn as the progressive candidate for governor, being, if elected, he is "going to take a club to the archaic system of county government that has persisted since 1740 under the English con centlon and knock It out." He further declares that the short ballot program can save the coun ties o,f Kansas $1,000,000 a year and the state f 500,000. If cutting out the surplus offices can do this in Kansas, it ran do something like it also In Nebraska. Wilson Agrees to Let Congreea Adjourn. Chlcag? Tribune Headline. Come, crime, the president is against bossiam! I F.nters a Protewt. OMAHA, Oct. .-To the Editor of The Itee: Mr. Olthoff In today's Bee tells us that Germany In this war la after money, and ha has fixed tha amount at X6,noo,000,- 000. Moreover, ha aays the Germ ana will see to It that the kaleer laya FTanoe and England a waste with fire and sword, Just as he did to Belgium. I see no use of argiimg with such a man, but I do protest against printing such monstrous letter, calculated to fan hatred In thla country among people who came from different parts of Europe. CAESAR REOAZZI. 1920 Dodge Street. Trlbato to an Omaha Girl, OMAHA, Oct 3.-To tha Editor of The Boe: Omaha church folk who read tha Christian Endeavor World have been re minded In the laat Issue of the loss to them and their city of one whose name and influence reached far and wide and will live long after her. Miss Mabel Earle, who died on August 30. Miss Earle was a writer, both of prose and poetry, of rare quality, and of her tha World says: Miss Earle made thousands' of frlenda by her writings In this paper. Hhe never wrote merely for the sake of writlne. or for the mere money returns, but alwsys naa a neep purpose in her atones, a pur pose revealed vary earnestly In her letters concerning them. Put Mlsa Karl waa, above all, a poet No better rellgloua poetry has been written In recent vun than hers. The Christian Endeavor World aays that Miss Earle's last aerial for that paper embodied her experiences in the Omaha tornado and "conveyed the lesson of a calm trust in Ood In the midst of trial, which she would wish to be her final message to her friends." The tribute to thla excellent young woman concludes with twe stansaa of her recent poem, "Tna Gates of Evening," which waa used aa tha eover poem for a late Issue of the World: Porno on a sea of deepening rest Pur spirits drift across the bar To that far portal In the west Tha sunset cloud, the sunset star. Thy merey, Lord, on toll and pain! Thy .pardon. Lord, for fault and sin! Fling wide the gates of rest again And let Thy weary children In. AMICUS. Qaeetloaa from a Qaeattoner. BROKEN BOW. Neb.. Oct .-To the Editor of The Bee: In The Boe'a Letter Box of H. Fischer's reply to D. C. John Is typical of a German. He aays the allies may starve Germany, but will never con quer It. HU beat plan would bo to alt quietly and "wait and aee." England did not want tha war with Germany, but aa the kalnera military advisers thought they could fight the world they took upon themselves to break Uie neutrality of poor Belgium aa an easy way to get at France and march to Paris In sixteen days. Thanks to tha plucky Belgians, the Germans long-planned sixteen days' march to Paris failed. If Germans are a peace loving people, why all this preparation for war, and why did Germany dictate the ultimatum from Austria to Servla? Why does Germany require a large navyT Is there any reason why Germany should have such a navy? Nona whatever, any more than tha other European powers. 3. CROOKS. A Not of Appreciation. OMAHA, Oct 1-To tha Editor of The Bee: We all like praUa and compliments when we have said or done anything noteworthy. Were we more free with a cheering word now and then there would be laaa call for sympathy. Editors have many hot shots fired at them during the course of a year, but, nevertheless, they are human, .and, I presume, are not Im mune from praise any more than the rest of ua. Allow me to compliment you for your excellent editorial "Boys Fight the World'a Ware." It la only four short paragraphs, but la the moat appealing article I have read on the subject of war since tha Inaugurating of the present conflict. Better had the economists turned their calculations to the figuring out of a means of escape for the furhttng children thaa causing furrows In their brows by tabulations of the cost of war In dollars and eents; for there are rhlld-aoldlars In tha field today. Better had The Hague conference Insisted upon only men fight ing the world's war than to fret over the uae of dum-dum bullets. Children In war, past present or future! It's a mockery upon civilisation! E. C. W. Germany's Crown Prince Political Tips Bt Paul Pioneer Preaa: In mora than one state besides Maine the progressive may point to tha result and exclaim Jubi lantly and ungrammatically ; "I dona It" Philadelphia preaa: It la just like the aemocrata, after taking the tariff off for elgn commerce aa far aa they could, to go and try to make It up by taxing do meettc commerce. Kansas City Journal: Seattle haa been trying municipal ownership of street rail ways, and haa lost money heavily, with out Improving the service. Some reforms work out ao much better In theory than la practice. The warlike tendencies of Germany's crown prince have In the past ben represented as a source it much embarrassment to his father, who, apparently, wss most dcslous of building up a peaceful reputa tion for Germany. Rut now Prince Frederick Wlil Ism's firebrand pollrieg. well as his absolute de votion to the German army and the militarist Idea, have stood him In good stead, and. combined with his undoubted valor upon the field, have won for him the coveted Iron Cross and the frank com mendations of the emperor. The New Tork Times quotes, in dlcus!on of the militarist prince, a nook, entitled "Der Kronprlnx." r.y one Dr. Paul Llman of Berlin, which gives an excellent Idea of the young man. Dr. Uman has endeavored to explain the prince to his people, reconciling his sometimes rather pusxllng eccentricities with the character and men tality of one destined to be Germany's future ruler. His view of the prince la particularly Interesting Just now, as It was written with the firm belief that Frederick William as kaiser would one day become Involved In the same sort of struggle that exists at present. Dr. Llman paints an attractive portrait of the kaiser's heir. In spite of all his vagaries, we learn that he Is popular throughout Germany, totally de void of "side," and the keenest sort of a sportsman. Moreover, and this Is less known, we hear of him as a diligent reader of hooks, especially on history, and as a warm admirer of Napoleon, despite the fact thst the great Corslcan humbled Germany to the dust In his campaigns. In his endeavor to show the crown prince as he really Is, Dr. Llman haa not forgotten the book on his hunting experlencea which the kaleer's heir pub lished a couple of years ago. In Its pages, he says, tha prince appear to ua quite without vanity or literary frills, without the craving for noisy ac clamation. The hunting-book was written after the crown prince's Journey to the far east. It describes tl-e,r hunting In India and Ceylon and all aorta of exciting experlencea In far away lands, but the young hunter does not forget the countless expeditions that ho haa undertaken within the boundaries of hla native Germany, and which form an Important part of his regular round of existence. And It Is in describing these that much of hla real nature rises to the surface, as, for Instance, In these sentences: "We hunters pity from the bottom of our hearts those men to whom hunting game In some form or other la Impossible or unknown. And when I say hunting, I really mean stalking. To my mind, who soever thinks at all of hunting that wonderful com bination of fighting, enjoyment of nature, and self contomplatton Is thinking In reality only of stalk ing, and recognises things like a tiger hunt only as a sort of exercise In shooting, by no means as any thing truly sportsmanlike. "To the real sportsman the great book of beauti ful nature opens Itself willingly. In the brilliant sunrise. In the tired, silent midday sleep. In the soft evening which spreads peace over forest and field, in tha wild, howling mountain storm, the voice of nature speaks to us solitary huntsmen in accents always different and always Impressive, and sings to us the noble song of the Creator. "Such hours, spent alone only they make life on earth worth living! For beauty and peace fulness many an evening of hunting that I have en joyed is, in my opinion, surpassed by nothing In the world. How often during those evenings have I thought of those words Inscribed by the Grand Mo guls over their palace In Agra: 'If there is a Para dise on earth It ia here, It is here.' "Nothing binds frlenda so ctoaely as hunting ex perlencea which they have shared. When at night the flames are flickering in the fireplace, when happy sportsmen are stretched out lq big leather chairs, clgareta between their Hps, eyes glancing toward the trophies on the wall, reminding each other of 'how we stalked the deer together that time,' then it s that genuine comradeship is engendered." Dr. Lyman calls this a "free, honest confession," and It la Indeed the confeaalon of one whose instinct and love for the hunt might well breed in htm a passion for that greater, more thrilling hunting pai- I I me war and the hunting of men. At all events. the crown prince has ever been on the side of the army. From tha preface of the prince's book dealing with the army and navy, "Germany In Arms," a few lines show how ardently the author embraced the cause: "We are living in a time when men proudly point to their culture, a time which is but too willing to plume Itself on Its cosmopolitanism and takes pleasure in dreaming Idle dreams of the possibility of eternal peace. "Such a conception of life la un-Gierman. It is not for us. The German, who loves his country, who believes In Ha greatness and future, and does not wish to see any lessening of Its prestige, will not close his eyes In such dreams, not allow himself to be lulled to sleep by the peace lullaby of the Utopians. "If the German people decide to risk life and property In a war, then let the world be full of devils and rise against us in arms; we can handle It, no matter how great the peril of the hour!" I.Ike Thla father, who has dabbled In the fine arts, his heir also haa tried his hand at composing mualo and painting ptoturee. But, avers Dr. Ltman, ha U not at all conceited about hla productions. When ha has finished a picture he smilingly Inquires of thoae privileged to see It whether they can guess what tt represents a snowy landscape or a negro chieftain, still lite, or a battle scene. But such activities are merely secondary; first and foremost the young man Is a soldier. "He does his duty just like any one of hla com rades, from early morning until the moment when the rest of his fellow officers are relieved. And some times even he stays behind a couple of hours to tlstea to the Instructions of superior officers, cheer fully observing: Oh, my wife will send me some sandwiches and a half bottle of wine.' " People and Events Phillip D. Armour, grandson of the founder of Ar mour A Co., is taking his first practical leaeona In the business by tramping around In the mud of tho Chicago stock yards as a cattle buyer. Rome chronics persist in the notion that the Eu ropean war lords hsnded a lemon to LTicle Sam. Well, what if they did? Tour Vnele knows how to compound a lemonade and put a atlck In It A Frenchman and a German In 8kux City bat tled valorously for the smllea of a pretty Irish wait ress. Both slgnd a treaty of peace before the police Judge, but the German was forced to retreat to a hospital. The court of appeals of New Tork haa said the last word In the rase of Mrs. B. C. Pelxotto, the New York school teacher dismissed for absenting herself from school to become a mother. The court sustalia the right of the school board to enforce the rule. Mrs. Jane Seymour Burnett of Bt Louie, recently deceased, served aa a nurse in the Crimean war with Florence Nightingale. Bhe survived two husbands, both British captains of artillery, and haa three grand sons In the ranks of the British forces In France. How quick the pocket nerve regulatea the view point! A group of fifteen Americana from Alabama stood outaide a cloaed hotel In Paris, the second night of the war. discussing where to go and how to get there. Another tourist, easing up and down deserted streets, waa attracted by the language of the group. "Hello,' Uncle Bam. what's the trouble?" Tha leader of the party stepped up to the tourist and remarked: "I'm from Alabama where do you kail from T" "I'm from Bill Bryan's state." "Shake," he exclaimed. extending hla Dixie fist He was mighty sore about the war and nursed a grouch against tha Germane. "I hope they'll be licked to a dead finish. What have the Germana done to me? A great deal. Our people get all our potaah from Germany. Wa had a five-year contract. Tne Germana thought It was un profitable and wanted us to break It We refused Then they Induced the government to Impose an ex port tax. We had to pay It about io. a year. which waa turned over to the potash dealers. Tou bet I want to aee them licked, good and plenty." Having thus eased his mind, be vanished in the dark- In Official Quarters Milwaukee entlnel- Go to the fourth line of battle. Mr. High Taxer, and watch a state run in a business wsy. Pprlngfleld Republican: It Is a good while since snynody In Europe has sneered at the Idealism of Dr. Wilson. Cleveland I 'lain Dealer: Many i dem ocratic senator will henceforth be un able to look a pork barrel in the face without btu.'hlng. Indianapolis News: Those reductions made In the river and harbor bill appear! to be Just about as ridiculous as some of' the appropriations. Washington Star: Mr. Bryan now knowa how' the gold democrats of IW, must have felt when ha reads tha returns i from the Illinois primaries. Chicago Herald: Mr. Bryan sounded the doom of monarchy in hla speech at Baltimore, but the monarrhs bad beat klm to It by at least six weeks. Baltimore American: In view of tha failure of the tariff, democracy Is going to have a hard time raising money with out Incurring the wrath of the people. Boston Transcript: The report that the V. S. S. Dolphin has left Wept Point with Mrs. Josephus Daniels snd party must be a mistake, aa it la well known that this sort of Joyriding Is strictly forbiddsn In the Jeffersontan manual. Washington Herald: Secretary Bryan says the war era has ended In the United States and Is drawing toward Its clcse In foreign lands. While everybody will earnestly hope that the secretary Is right It Is difficult to discover any sound rea son for believing tt. rauee 1 came near marrying htm before 1 met you.' .. "It Isn t that. dear. He doesn t coma here for a thing on eaith but to gloat over mc." Houston Tost. "You must rrnmieo me one thing before I will consent to mnrry yvu." "Anything!" "You must spend s many evenings win me after we are marriol a you do now. Houston Poet. "Do you believe that we shall ever have Universal pence?" .. "I'm afraid not. Of cource the nations mav cease warring apolnst each other; but' men and women will probably keep right on getting married." Hoston Tran script. "My daughter Is an exceptionally elever womnn." "How so?" . "She makes all her pin money with her needle." Baltimore American. "Tour daughter plays some very robust pieces." ... , "Sne s got a beau in the parlor,' growled r, Womba. "and that loud music Is to drown the sound of her mother washing the dishea." Pittsburgh Post. "What 1s the mall from daughter?" asked mother, easerly. ...... "A thousand kisses." snswered father grimly, "and sixteen handkerchiefs, two waists and four batcnea of ribbon for you to wash and mend ' - Kansas City Journal. "Paw a verv painful sight this morn ing." remarked the athletic boarder. "What was that?" , "An old man trying to teach bis beauti ful young wife to swim by reading a book of Instruction to her frpm the iihore." Louisville Courier-Journal. THE IIMIT. MIRTHFUL REMARKS. DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. "Faint heart ne'er won fair lady." quoted Mrs. Gabb, aa she tossed aside the magazine she waa reading. "Home guys have all the luck," growled Mr. Gabb. Cincinnati Enquirer. "You might at least treat him decent when he calls." "I treat him as decently as he haa any right to expect!" ''You have a grudge against him Just be- Dame Fashion was in sorry straits. Klue whv did she r,o back, I asque, To old Methuselah's back yard And dig us up that ancient basque. Dsme Fashion Is a tyrant bold. But as a tyrant, has a tasque Of Herculean sise If she E'er hop'S to make me wear a basque. She'll have to chloroform me, yes To pour it down me from a flasque Reduce me tj unconsciousness. E'er she can put on me a basque. I might have worn a trouserette (I could also have worn a masque) And kept my reason but not so, If I should don a hideous basque. Let dum-dum bullets end my life. Then let them put me in a casque; But nnver, here I draw the Hne, Let them dare clothe me in a basque. Omaha. BAYOLL NE THELK. mm iK(Ml t 'J lfs'Wl ri I (rrv iiimHi imffliiiils&i CHEWING GU . " I J I Pi Bl ssimil llll SI 1 1 MM ( sr m v m Pep-Peppermint 99 Stutter when vou say it and get in two "Peps" for thia is double strength Peppermint chewing gum lots of Pep! It's like a Peppermint Lozenge with a long lease of life it la-s-t-s! You'll get joy supreme from N CHEWING GUM r and more good HGWSS With each 5c package (of 5 big sticks) is a United Profit-Sharing Coupon good towards a long list of valuable presents. Give the whole family a treat and start them saving coupons. I r Made by the manufacturers J. I C WR.GI.EYSk IV wtimtmp J) X, SOLD AROUND THE WORLD J 'it "1 ti r. Bigger Business is attracted to those who seize opportunity vigor ously. Western Union Day and Night Letters -show business vigor and are expressions of modern methods. Their cost is small. THE WESTERN UNION TELEGRAPH CO. fail informmtioM glaSy yrveaj at any Wttm Union eYic '4 3 -Wlli irmH i rTftsilslyisssai i i