i
THE . OMAHA DAILY BEE
HE BKK; OMAHA; FHIDAY, SKITKM HER 11, 1914.
rPUNDKD BT EDWARD ROSE WATER.
VICTOR ROSE WATER. EDITOR.
Th Pe Publishing Company. Proprietor.
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AUGUST CTRCriXATIOX.
56,554
Slate of Nebraska. County of Douglas, ss
Dwtght Williams, circulation manager of The Bee
Publishing company, being duly (worn, aaya that
the average dally circulation tor the month of August
JD14. we M.SM.
PWHJIIT WILLIAMS., Circulation Manager.
Kuhacrlhed In my preeence and sworn to before
me, this Id day of September, 1!14.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Public
Subscriber 1 oaring the city temporarily
should bar Ths Be mailed to tbem. Ad
dress trill be chanced aa of tea m requested.
There Is enough expansion in thla war with
out UBing dum dura bullets. .
Pronouncing Ourcq river is hard for
some of us as crossing, it would be.
' Keep your ear to the ground for something
startling from the direction of Japan.
Disposing of more than $3,000 worth of tags
for a worthy cause In one day la not a bad Job.
! 5
Our "maximum economy and efficiency"
slogan needs the "see America first" plan to
complete 1U
The kaiser says his heart bleeds for poor
Lou vain. Yes, and the hearts of the poor Bel
gians more than bleed.
It Is announced that the political aircraft
wllf soon begin dropping bombs on Innocent
noncombatants in Nebraska.
' The honorable czar announces he will reach
Berlin If It takes bis last' moujlk, which sounds
strangely Ilka masuma to us-
The court of public .opinion, before which
the merits of this war are to b tried, seems to
be located In the United States.
The war. Is, spreading J Turkey Creek in
Kansas City went on the rampage and filled the
streets with nine test of water
."The world do move," but not fast enough,
for in 1114 war still stains with human blood
the' very same soli it drenched in 1814.
It should be Nebraska's 8tate fair In fact as
well as name, attended and patronised by'Na
brapkans from all over the state more and more.
As a fulfillment of the scriptural promise
that the rain shall descend on Just and unjust
alike, we note heavy showers in Nebraska and
Texas.
Our veracious correspondent Informs us
that the "sun shines on the State fair at Lin
coln." And what a heartless sun it would bo
if it didn't.
"Uncle Joe" Cannon has been nominated
once more for congress from his old Danville
district, which means that the people who know
him best regard him highly.
You are' not forgetting, are you. children,
about that plan of saving your nickels to send
Christmas presents to the homeless, fatherless
children of Europe "la His NaweT"
The democrats of Illinois have nominated
Brother Roger Sullivan for senator to go down
to Washington and help uphold the hands of
the Wilson-Bryan administration. Another illus
tration of the soothing effects of gas.
Still,' if the election machinery under our
new-election commissioner is so perfect and In
fallible It would have done no harm to have had
a recount' Just to1 satisfy the defeated candidates
that none of them were counted out.
II I ' W SSSSSSSXSSSI
The atala fair claims aa attendance of 30,000. The
baby' shew was the day's novelty, the premium for
the noV handaome baby boy going to Walter, the
14 months old ton of Mr. and Mrs. DPuy of Omaha,'
and 'for te .handsomest little girl to' Fay Chapman.
1 nyntha old. of Florence. Other parents' pride on
exhibition included Ellen, daughter of Mr. and Mrs.
E. K, Oarvln; Jaime, eon ef Mr. and Mrs. J. K.
O'Neill; Ida May, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. H. C
Hartmaa; Edna, daughter of Mr. and Mra John
Gretslnger all of Omaha, and pronounced a bouquet
of little beauties.
The democrats have nominated Charles 11. Brown
tut congress, sod a elate ticket headed by J. Sterling
Morton.- James E. Boyd was chairman ef the con
vention, which was held la the Academy of Mualc.
Fvr the third time the St Pauls beat the Union
PaclfUe. score I to i.
"The Jobbers regaled ou(rof-towa vlaitors St a
banquet at the Paxton last evening. Those respond
ing to toaats Included W. V. Morse, James B. Boyd,
W. A. Gibbon, A. Koch. W. J. Broatcn and F. I
McKynna.
J. Calder and Miaa Annie Walker were married at
the Southwestern Presbyterian church by the paatur,
p- Mi. Hail They will have their bom In a little
t-uiugiitya William street.
A TJieful' Vice President
"I am not an upllfter," says Vice President
Marshall. "The streets of Jerusalem are kept
clean by every man sweeping in front of his
own door. I believe in keeping myself straight
first." . ,
To thorc who see only the quslnt side of this
philosophy, we commend the words spoken from
the Mount a good many centuries ago about
beholding the mote In another's eye without
perceiving the beem In one's own eye. It Is
fundamental doctrine. As the vice president sgsln
wisely says, "There Is too much treating of
symptoms In this country. We are willing to re
lieve sickness and distress, but let the causes
remain." more willing to make a law for the
other fellow than ourselves.
The woods are full of uplifters and woe to
the man who refuses to be uplifted by them,
at so much per lift. At once he finds himself
under the ban of hysterical condemnation as
an "old fogy," "reactionary," "dangerous male
factor! and a lot of other slushy terms coined
by skillful word Jugglers to fit the occasion- In
the meantime, this same old fundamental phil
osophy by which the world has lived all these
ages, is either Ignored or forgotten, while, again
quoting the vice president, "these reformers
find some 'crying need or 'crying shame,' or
ganize a society for protection or suppression,
elect a board of directors and appoint a secre
tary and then go down to the legislature to get
ad appropriation to pay the salaries of the sec
retary and the board." .
Truly. Mr. Marshall has shown us that a
vice president may become a very useful as
well as ornamental servant of the people. What
he has ssld needed saying and he has said it
very effectually.
The Political Drift
The final figures of the late primary, taking
the total vote cast for all candidates for gov
ernor under the respective party designations,
which Is the figure used for comparison In other
states, shows the following: Republicans, 67,
142; democrats, 63,017; progressives. 1,974;
populists, 1,3(9; with a scattering for prohibi
tion and socialists.
Two salient features stand out the ex
ceptionally large proportionate vote of the dem
crats and the almost insignificant vote of the
progressives and populists. While the primary
vote Is not conclusive of division at the election,
particularly upon individual candidates, it af
fords Incontestable proof that the so-called third
parties have no great hold on the people, and
that the faction.- disturbances of two years
ago have not cut as deeply as appeared from
surface Indications at the time,
i In other words, the Nebraska primary con
firms whst has been disclosed by the primaries
so far held in every other state the repeated
unification of the republican elements thst
were before widely separated and the prospect
that by the next national campalKn candidates
will le in the field representing only two Im
portant political parties.
American Styles.
American modistes bring back word from
Europe that no dress styles are to be available
for a time In Paris, which ought to set Amer
icans to thinking more seriously on this subject
than they are accustomed to- Whv continue
the foolish and costly hsbit of going abroad for
fashions in the first place? Why not create
and maintain our own styles? Imagine Amer
icans adopting European methods and manners
of running their government, or their private
business enterprises, or even borrowing foreign
social amenities. Yet why is the latter more
Incongruous than for us to 'import foreign
styles of dress?
Westward the star of empire has taken Its
flight In nearly everything but the Idloiyncra
cles of dress. For these the course of progress
Is reversed and progressive, Ingenious Ameri
cans persist in going back to the old world. We
lead in Industry and commerce of all sorts,
even in invention, and are forging to the front
in art and literature- Now ln the vortex of war
we are left of all the nations to supply the world
with the necessities of life. And yet we whimper
because war has temporarily dethroned our for
eign gods of fashion and tied up the foreign silk
and linen and lace industries, wondering what
on earth we shsll do.
What an absurdity, when we come to think
of It as it is. Why not turn this so-called sacri
fice to practical service, rise in our American
dignity and go to making and maintaining
American styles (that shall be more In keeping
with everything els American, while at the
same time saving us a lot of money heretofore
needlessly turned over as "velvet" to the for
eign modistes. The exigencies of the wsr, we
think, will curtail American travel abroad for a
time, to the advantage of our own land and
people, who may then do more traveling In
their own country. Yet European travel Is a
much more tangible benefit to Americans than
all the freak fashions of dress available. With
out making ourselves less a cosmopolitan peo
Ple which we have not yet become we might
with greater Justice to ourselves, tske advan
tage of the present situation and go to making
our own styles of dress.
, Climax of Our Calamity.
Thus far our Inconvenience as a result of
the wsr, while heavy, has been but a modicum
of woe as compared with the thraldom of those
gripped in this conflict. But now we come to
what seems to be the climax of our own calam
ity. "The dispatches relate that Mm. Sarah Bern
hardt has definitely and finally abandoned her
last farewell tour of America! This is the fate
to .which cruel, war has led us. Tor a decade
and more men have been each year predicting
an 'end of these annual farewells, only to see
their cynical forecasts doomsd. And, indeed,
even now, though the war cloud darkens the
way at present, the hope lingers that with the
first rift In the sky, "Divine 8arah" will flit
back to us to resume hsr profitable occupation
of farewelllng In America.
Roger 8ulllvan, repeatedly denounced by
Mr. Bryan as a political porch-climber and
train-robber, wins handily for the democratic
nomination for United States senator In Illi
nois. We shall see what we shall see.
If those various kings, emperors and czars
wsnt to make a real hit with Uncle, Sam they
will stop trying to placate him with' respective
excuses of themselves and fall In with his plsn
for pesce. "
Short Ballot Talk
Blair Pilot: One of the needed Instruments of
democracy la the abort ballot. Democracy means In
telligent eel '-government. Self-government through a
seven-foot ballot la a mlanomer. A lone ballot meant
a multitude of elective offices with divided reeponat
blllty, and the majority of them ao otmenre that the
average voter cannot know how the duties are per
formed. Such a syetem la a breeding ground for our
modem profraslonal politicians and sleek lobbyists.
The longer the ballot the better the opportunity of
the political manipulators. The shorter the ballot the
greater the chance for the people t- Intelligently
eeleot men who will carry out their orders. What of
Nebraska ? For years the ballot has been overly
complicated and loaded with names of candidates.
Our moat enlightened citizens have time and again
expressed themselves ss unable Intelligently to pick
the fit from the myriad of aspirants for office. . Thla
condition exlata both at the primary and final elec
tion!. If anything. It la woree at the primary elec
tions, hecauae there Is under the present law no
limitation a to the number of candidates for nomina
tion. Nebraaka must have the short ballot In order to
make poaalble cloeer scrutiny In the selection of public
officials; and more so In order to fix and centralise
responsibility. Cut off the ballot the offices that
haze to do merely with routine and clerical work.
Call on the voter only to Ml the offices that control
policies.
Tekamah Herald: The primary law amendment Is
now a live topic. Rome want to confine It to county
officers and let the state officials be chosen by con
vention. That would not meet with our approval.
The statement that the average voter does not know
who he Is voting for falls Tat when the recent prl
mary vote Is analysed. In nearly every case the
people got what they wanted.
Button Register: There la a good deal of dissatis
faction among politicians and defeated candidates
with our primary law; aome want to repeal It and go
bark to the old convention system, while others want
to amend the law ao aa to keep ao many names from
going on the primary ballot. On way would be to
combine the convention and primary systems. Have
each party state convention name two rand dates for
each state office whose names shall go on the primary
ballot, and the on receiving the majority In the
primary shall be the party candidate In the general
election aa at present. It could not then be aaid that
the nomine was a minority candidate, aa he would
have endorsement of his party at the convention and
at the primary. The Register makes this aa a sug
gestion only. Maybe you can make a better on.
Lincoln Journal: Quite Brooerlv. ronelderlnr the
atate's recent tussle with an endless primary ballot,
the necessity of reducing the number of elective nub
ile officials Is now clear to an Increased number of
people. The Omaha Btee now gives Its support to the
short ballot Idea and nreaenta aneclfln inmriim..
This would be a wholesome slicing down of the ballot.
ir the public will only see how Its control of nuhlin
affairs would be Increased by this trimming of ths
nailot. It would b possible to go atlll further. Th
short ballot philosophy. It should be remembered, Is
not a mere mechanical plan for reducing the lenrth
and complexity of the ballot. That Is Incidental. The
pnuoeopny or the short ballot la the wnrkln .. or
a logical system of organising government with a
view to the greatest popular control coupled with a
maximum of efficiency. This system means the elec
tion or ornciala responsible for nubMo noiide. a-
administration, who In turn appoint orrirui. t re
form the administrative labors of government. For
these appointments th elected official Is responsible
to the voters, and his responsibility la kept alive and
seen oy tne existence of th popular recall.
Twice Told Tales
1 . a k a . .
. . j ,
A weedy little schoolmaster, with a watery eye
and a ragged mustache, was conducting a party of
his pupils round the sootoglcal gardens. , ,
He had taken his students round all th houses.
In each one, of. which h had imparted an assortment
of more or less Insccurat Information. .";.
The last Place to be visited was th lion houe.
Drawing up the gaping boys before th cage of the
largest of the antmals-whtch he was careful to call'
the "king of beaeta"-h said, with alt th dignity he
possessed:
'And now, supposing on of the great brutes was
to escape, and was to hurl Its massive weight Into our
very midst, what steps ought w, to take ao aa to
avoid being demolished and torn limb from limb?"
Without a moment's hesitation Bill Bailey spokV-
"Ix-ng ;uns. sir!" said be. confldcnUy.-London
Answers.
' . .,
In Hole. . .
. '-Uncle Joe" Cannon. saW at a .Danville political
plcnlo last month: t zT
'.'Mnanc such as that, gentlemen, will land the
country In th ,wb.rel. . Mr. BUI Smith found
nrftf.
"Mra. Bill Smith spent wUV her huaband a two
weeks' vacation at Atlantic City. It was an extrava
gant vacation. It cleaned tbem out.
"As they rod back bom on th train, sunburnt
snd fatigued, their pocketbooks empty and th next
Py day two weeks off. Mrs. Smith sighed and said-
" 'Well, anyhow. Bill, we'll be all right as soon
as we get home. The morning ws started off I hid
a ten-dollar, bill under th pink plush album In th
parlor.'
found'tt'1'1 B,U 'rlmly: '' 1 kn0W yU dld- 1
People and Events
Frenchmen In London now have a newspaper of
their own. It Is th first French dally newspaper In
England. Its tills Is "L'Ech d Franc."
Wlldwood. (N. J.) Uf Quard atabllhed a record
for that resort when within on hour Captain Need
ham and bis men. after moat strenuous work rescued
twenty-six parsons from drowning.
Rodman Wanamaker will send two Indian boys to
the academy In Mercersburg. Pa. After completing
th eouree there they will be aent to Princeton. When
thlr ducatlon is completed they win return to their
people to help educate them.
Rev. John T. Woods, rector of the Holy Cross church
in Brooklyn, has been made a domeaUa prelate, with
th till of Monslsnor. according to a cablegram from
Rom. Th elevation of Father Woods was one of
th last official acts of th pop.
Baron John Henry d Vltllera. chief justice ef the
supreme court of the Union of South Africa,' died
September 1 He waa attorney general and minister
of Mines la th Botha cabinet and waa created a
baron la SIS. He waa bom la U42.
Roberto Ruls, specie! Mexican ambaaaadop tn Apmr.
tine, Braail and Chile, expressed the thanks of the
Mexican government to President D Plasa of Argen
tine for the letter's aid In the recent mediation be
tween Mexico and th Vnlted 8tte.
Th novelist. Joseph A. Altacheler. wss la OeV
sneay on July Is. four days before Germany declared
war. and told bis waiter that b was going on to
Prague. -Better not" whispered th waiter, and he
didn't One good tip desert es another.
Th estate of Charles Kohler, who, after making a
fortune In the piano buelnesa became an enthulaatlc
horse breeder, amounta to Z4.17S.U1. not Including the
value of his Ramapo farm or the money received from
the sale of his horses in Knsland and Franca
Brief oatrlsatJea on timely
teplea invite. Ths Be asanas.
a xeapewaibnity fat opinions seT
correspondent. All letters sab
ret te oeaSeasatlon by edit.
Militarism Iphel-.
OMAHA. Sept. .-To the Editor of The
Bee: The article by Ralph Austin begins
wen, out. to a German, has a mighty
cowardly ending! Of course, we admit
that the present wer resorts are Incom
plete, but give the Germans at least some
treait (or preference) for whst they are
doing and have done ao far In the nr..
ent atruggle against such odds! bet me
sen wny, at preeent, there are fl or six
big nations seeking the destruction jf
one the leader In arts, education, clvlll
Mtlon, s-lcnce and religion and a sealous
love of pesce? Because they srv Jealous
snd sec to tarry the distinction for
themselves. What would be the result
If Russia should win? Barbarism and
anarchy, would it not? And If the other
allies win. th fruits of German civilisa
tion would be swallowed up by a con
tinual warfare to keep the Germans In a
conquered state! Germany will not b
conquered! So let us wish success to the
Germans, even though they are now be
hind th csnnon. without which they
would los the key to EuroDo'e clvim-i.
lion- and this country's as well as their
prosperity! t w. M..W.
Letter froaa Political Heathen
Hfemlew
SOMEWHERE. Sept I0.-To the Editor
of Th Be: Francisco I. Madero was a
man comparatively harmless In private
life, but he was utterly Inefficient, Irre
aponalbl and positively harmful person
In a public function His conduct wss
criminal, whatever his character may
have been. James Buchanan wrought
more mischief than Benedict Arnold.
Rafeal De Zays Enrlques writes thus of
Madero:
"Francisco I.. Madero was born to
weslth. srent his life among the buelness
men snd merchants who composed his
family circle and was elevated to the
highest position In the republic by unfore
seen events.
"Madero was an Improvised politician,
an Improvised revolutionist and an Im
provised president, lacking entirely not
only In practical, but even In theoretical
knom ledge or warfare, polities and ad
mlnlatratlon, unacquainted even with his
associates and with the condition of the
country."
At th end of Diss' reign of thlrty-flv
years the trcesury contained $S5.00O.O0O
more than the budget called for. Madero
wa president from July 1, 1912. to Feb
ruary 19, IMS; snd during this period of
even and one-half months the surplus
left by Diss and all the current receipts
wer squsndered. and Madero ran the
Mexican government ln debt 119,001, 961. 34.
How often do we hear the hackneyed re
mark: "Any man who can manage his
own business can manage public busi
ness," et vice versa. Every day w see
the ocular demonstration ef the falseness
of this statement, and the next day some
Jack-in-the-box Jumps up and repeats the
fallacy.
Madero wss not only an Inefficient ad
ministrator, but he was a sanguinary
tyrant. Every well-informed American
has read th story of th "Bloody Ten
Days,", which deserves to go down -In
history with Herod's slaughter of the in
nocent and with Scullabogne and Peter?
loo. Madero, with a smile on hia face.
red over the corpses of 800 victim, many
of them Innocent women and , children.
Nero fiddled while Rom burned. Madero
caused General Ruls to be shot without
the pretense of a trial. While he was
yet president of Mexico and sitting tn ths
national palace he ahot Lieutenant
Colonel Ulveroll to death for asking him
to- resign his office. Ills sympathies were
not with the honest working people of
Mexico but with bandits and outlaws.
He made a general of Francis Villa, a
man whoa career Is a startling parallel
to the historic Dick Turpln. One of the
causes, of Madero' overthrow was be
cause the official of the array refused
to associate with the scoundrels to whom
Madero was giving commissions. There
Is no reasonable doubt that he supplied
Zapata with ordnance from th national
armory. In fact, this can b proved.
There Is no doubt that Madero richly de
served bis fate. The method of hi tak
ing off Is the only thing which It Is
possible to condemn.' Tet this same
Madero Is the raw material out of which
Villa. Carransa, Bryan and company
would tain manufacture a martyr.
DER HETDE.
IMfce'a Peak Kiserlmeatal Work.
! COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo.. Sept 7.-
To lb Editor of Th Be: A charming
aummer in this dllhtful place on the
edge of th great plains and at the foot of
these mountain peaks, ha brought to my
attention the exceptionally valuable scien
tific work carried on In th laboratories of
Colorado College and on th aummlt ot
Plke'e peak at an altitude of 11138 feet.
One wonders whether our physicians and
scientific men are aware of the contribu
tions mad here for the last four years,
under direction of Dr. Edward C.
8chneider. head of the department of
biology.
The Inatltutlon has exceptional labora
tory facilities, and has placed them at th
service of th men carrying on this work.
Three years ago Dr. J. 8. Haldane and
Mr. C. Gordon Douglas of Oxford and Dr.
Tandell Henderson of Tale lolned Dr.
Schneider In experiments on the peak,
making critical tests of blood circulation
and of nutrition In man at high altitudes.
Th results wer published In the Trans
actions of ths Royal Society of London
and attracted wide Interest in Great Brit
ain and on the continent. This past sum
mer this work has been continued with
moat satisfactory results.
Dr. Schneider's discussions of this work
appear from time to time In th American
Journal of Physiology and the Colorado
college atudiea. A valuable article records
observations following the descent from
Pike's Peak to Colorado Springs - with
testa of arterial pressure and pulse-rate.
Examinations were mad showing th re
duction In th number of red corpuscles
and the specific gravity of th blood; tor
example, that th ventilation of the lungs
for those dwelling at high altitudes Is
greater than at sea level. According to
Haldan. Henderson. Douglas and Schnei
der the pressure required to excite the
respiratory center of man on Pike's Peak
falls to about two-thirds that of the nor
mal value at sea level. Importaat discov
eries have els been mad as to th puis
rat. arUrlal, capillary and vanous pressures.
These tests will greatly aid physicians
In th study snd treatment of tuberculosis
and all cases of Incipient phthyata.
It la a pleasure while gaining strength
and recreation In this wonderful climate
te find what Is being so well done for the
betterment, of humanity and the promo
tion of health. Colorado climate offers
probably the beet curative conditions for
all pulmonary troubles, and msny strong
men and women here are the ben evi
dence of whst this csn do for those who
have at some time almost lost hope. It Is.
hosevcr, shsolutely necessary that such
work as Dr Schneider and his associates
are doing furnish the basis for Intelligent
treatment for the msny here for their
cure, ss well ss for those who come for
recreation and Increased physical strength.
Too much iredlt csnnot lie given to Colo
rado college and President Sloc-jm for
wise snd unxelfish co-operstlon In sll this
movement. Tersonally I am under such
lasting obligations for what this summer
hss brought to me thst I am glad to pass
the mord along. H. L. B.
Apologise or Flaht.
SH ELTON. Neb.. 8ept. 10 -To the Edi
tor of The Bee: I have Just read F. A.
Agnew's comment on Germans In this
country snd I want to ssy I am of Ger
man descent but born In America, and If
ever a German, la my presence or hear
ing, ever makes the remark that he would j
rather live under an emperor than a presl-l
dent he will apologise right there or I will
make him k'ss the American flag or he
will have the worst spell of bsd luck he
ever experienced. I always carry a small i
I nlted States flag In my pocket also the
flat. Why don't rou? FETTERLING.
Which I the Real Peril f
OMAHA. Sept. 10,-To the Editor of The
Bee: W seem to hear a great deal now
In regard to the Russian or Slav peril.
However. If we will Just allow our minds
to go hack a few years, ssy at the time
of our Civil war, we will then remember
that at that time Russia was the only
friend we had In Europe that Is. the only
nstlon which stood by the union in that
conflict. Such being the case, you heard
nothing at all then about this so-called
Russian peril. As a matter of fact, there
is no Russian peril. The greatest peril In
the world todsy is Germsn mllltsrlsm.
and for proof of same, all you hsve to do
Is to pick up any newspaper and see what
Is going on In Europe at the present time.
If It wasn't for Germsn militarism there
would be no wsr In Europe right now.
H. MURPHY.
PHUNNY P HELLO WS' PHTOT
"What arc you going to do when you
gt home?"
"1 don t Know yet.'' re-l'ed Senator
Sorghum. Te got to wait snd see
wheiher my reception by the town fol.a
'.s In the riMture of an ovstlon of the third
dtgrre." Washington Star. . . .,
"Whv did you quarrel with your hus.
bsnd? '
"He said I wss positively ugly. H did
not use those exact words, but he said
that If I was to murder nny one, I would
be found guilty." Houston Post.
Willie Taw. what la the 'unwriitrn law?
Paw The one the candidate told you
he was Sing to have enacted If you voted
for him, my ejn. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Wife Oh. George, do order a rat-trap
to be rent home today.
George But you bought one last week,
week.
Wife Yr, dear, but there's a rat In
that. Universal Lealcr.
New proprietor of public hour (thst
It-vies a fine for every swear word) 'Ere,
Bill, thst s a penny you owe to th par
eon s swear box.
Bill I'd tetter do what I done afore
put a arf crown in and 'ave a season
ticket. London Punch.
"Did you call on those poor people?"
"Oh. yea," answrrrd the amateur wel
fare worker. . .
"And what do they need?"
"Why. I didn't 30 Inside. ' Th house
wss so fearfully squalid I Just left cards."
P.ttsburgh Post
Jill And did Lulu cry for help when
you tried to kiss her?
Bill Certainly not. why should she
want help? I didn't try to run away!
Yonkers Statesman.
Bronson I understand thst he painted
cobwebs on the ceiling so perfectly that
the housemaid wore herself out trying to
sweep them c'own.
Johnson There may have been such
an artist, but r.ever such a housemaid.
'On God's Side."
San Francisco Chronicle.
While the various war lords and leaders
are proclaiming that God is on ihelr nlde.
It Is apt to recall the famous reply of
Lincoln when ssked In the civil war If he
as sure that God waa on "our sice."
"I do not know: I have not thought about
that. ' But I am very anxious to know
whether we are on God's side."
THE DEAD VOLUNTEER.
Here lies a clerk who half his lite bad
spent
Tolling at ledgers In a city gray.
Thinking that so his days would drift
away
With no lance broken ln life's- tourna
ment; But ever 'twixt the books and his bright
eyes
The gleaming eagles of ths legions
came.
And horsemen charging under phantom
skies
Went thundering past beneath th orl
flamme. And now thof waiting dreams sr satis
fied. For In the end he heard the bugler' call.
And to hia country then he gave his all
When in the first high hour of Ilfo he
died.
And falling thus, he wants no recom
pense . - ; ,
Who found his battle In the last resort: .
Nor needs he any hearse to bear him
hence
Who goes to Join the men of Aglnoourt.
From the London' Spectator.
Keeps Lit in a
Stiff Wind
One thing you'll
notice when you
light a Safe Home
Match is that it
keeps lit in a stiff
wind.
Theflame"fflckers,M
of course, but it
does not go out
The stick is abso
lutely drythat is
one reason for the
superiority of Safe
Home Matches.
Another reason is,
the head is unusu
ally large.
We are within
the limits of the
truth when we say
that you get as much
real service from three
Safe Home Matches as
from five- ordinary
matches.
Safe Home Matches are
absolutely non-poisonous.
For . that reason
alone they should be
in every home in
America.
Sc. All grocers. Ask for them by name.
The best office location
for a lawyer is
THE BEE BUILDING
7n iauVmf I It at i mt-mf near "
You can save time by be
ing near the court house
For office apply to BnporinteKitWt, tMM 109.
