Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, August 04, 1914, EXTRA, Page 4, Image 4

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THE BKK: OMAHA. TTT.SDAY. AUCJt'ST 4, 1014.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROoKWATER.
VICTOR ROffKWATER, EDITOR.
Tha He Publishing Company, Proprietor.
y bcilmxo. farnam ani euvknteenth.
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exchange. Mot accepted.' ' ' '
omrES.
Omehe-The Be. Raiding.
Voulh Omaha 1 N street.
Council Fluffs M North Main Street.
Lincoln! Little BulMin.
Chteagoeni Hearst BulMlng.
New Tnrk Room IKK. XSd fifth avenue.
Ht. Louis-Bra New Fenk f.f Commerce.
Washington T3 Fourteenth Bt.. N. W.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Address communications relating to news and edi
torial matter to Omaha bee, Tentorial Department.
ATKB CIRCtTLATIOft.
52,662
8"tte of Nebraska.. County of Douglas. s.
twight Williams, circulation manager of The Pee
, Puhltshlng company, being duly sworn, aayi that
:ha average dally circulation .for the month of June,
Hi. fj.mx
DWIOHT WILLIAMS. Circulation Ifanager.
Roheciibed In my prenence and aworn to before me
.this tth day of July, Ii4.
" - , ROBERT UCNTER. Notary robl'o.
i Bwbecribeira leaving the cltj temporarily
ebould have The Bee mailed to tbein. Ad
dress) will b changed mm of tea ae requested.
For fear newt up-to-the-minute read The
Bee.
Italy is giving Uncle Bam Cards and spades
at his own game of "watchful waltlof."
"Safety-, first" should be the paramount
policy of our new municipal bathing beach.
Refugee tourists seeking a .quiet undis
turbed land for peace and rest might try Mexico.
Lisa Listening to Burglar. Headline. '
Well, there may be times when a He seems
j justifiable. ,
i ' .The army of Nebraska threshing machines
1 continues to reap rich reprisals from the bumper
' wheat crop.
Being the "whip" of the senate, Jlmham
. lewis feels at liberty to crack bis little Joke even
.at the administration's expense.
; The Ulster volunteers have abcou as much
thance of. landing on the front page these days
at the Mexican constitutionalist.
Pancbo Villa has a field barber shop of his
own, and one can easily, guess what would hap
pen to Carrsnra's WhSsVers If be ever set foot
In the shop. '' , .
in v.: ,:.i!LjLj.ili.L!-u.'.:j.
V m.;"w n,v.!bil prepatipg,ftV', Julg war for
fofty years; ayr a. patriot of ah aggressive Eu.
' ropean power., Then all this forty , years' of
peace, talk -was mere buncombe. '
Another characteristic of -the take-reformer
Is that he Is ready to' urge. cutting. pf.f the graft
for his successor on condition that be, himself,
be unmolested while be Is Uhtrfg' hts pockets.'
Huerta may not have been givvn much of
an ovation on departure, . but. reports from
Jamaica and European banks Indicate that he
got away with somethinr quite as substantial.
' : . -r- L.
. The London 8tatlst dilates at length on
America's great opportunities for Increased
prosperity as a result of the European war. Our
best opportunities, however, and thoee we most
welcome,, come from, peace.
Sort of a tribute to the republicans, is it not,
that: President Wlleon and bis democratic ad
visers should go back In this crisis to the Al-drtch-Vreeiand
currency bill instead of resort
ing to the newer democratic currency act, of
whose' superiority They have boasted?
' We make a big hullabaloo when two buf
foons don bard, gloves and go to knocking each
other's heads Into pulp for money, but It is dif
ferent when thousands of men, under .the lead
ership of the beat brain and brawn of a nation,
line up against opposing thousands similarly di
rected to see who can shoot the most heads off
for money and power.
- Evacuating Topeka under heavy fire and the
loss of five successive engagements, the Omaha
light brigade of the Western league division of
the federal army swept .down upon Wichita tin
der cover of darkness and along la the-afternoon
of the next day took the enemy into camp.
1'gMing up hopes of at least one more victory
on the present invasion.-
7 aTT O
Rer. William McCandllah. one of the pioneer mia
latere of the city and state, died, afed 74, at hla
reetdence, corner Park avenue and Iaveaworth
treet, leavlnf a tfc and three children.
At the ft-hout board meetlnf the queatlcm of the
feeaibillty of erM-tlng a a-hool houae at Thirteenth
and Douglas, but nothing was don except to appoint
a committee to conalder ellln- the prevent lota and
obtaining a, better alt.. A petition froni John L. Mc
Chane and othera aaked that the school be completed
without delay.
One retult of the vliH of Union Pacific offlciala Is
seen In the appointment of Tliutnaa I Kimball aa
teneral traffic manager, announced by 8. H. It
Clark as general manager. -
At the revent meeting of the Durant Engine and
Hoee company theae offlcera were elected: John She
han. president ; Pete BandeM. foreman; Joe Burke,
flrat eaalatent;- B. F. Jiedman, aecoud aaaUUnt; rrank
M-hmeta, secretary. '
Rev. C. W. Bavldge. paator of the First Uethodlet
Kpicipal .liur.u. atarU on a month's vacation, which
he will apend at Lake Chaulaucjua and the national
camp meeting at Martha's Vineyard. '
tieceuae the I'Blon Pacific bakers on North gig
leentit street are nultlug some Improvements, It is
unable to supply euumers with bread and the man
ager, P. r. t'edue. ask Ueni le be patient tor a
tew daj-a.
Should the Stratcg-io Opening- Come.
The United States may yet find a way ot
serving humanity by acting as the peacemaker
for Europe. We are the only power in position
to exercise such an office and our position is
well intrenched. Regardless of the tradition
not to mix In the affairs of European bellger
ents, President Wilson is carefully watching for
an opportunity to use the means at his com
mand for ending the awful war.
As against this tradition established by
Washington, we have, as President Wilson reads
The Hague treaty, not only a right, but a moral
obligation, under that compact to exert our in
fluence for peace. One clause In that treaty
provides:
Powers atrangera to the dispute have the right
to offer 8od offices or mediation even during the
course of hoetllitlsa.
And again:
The contracting powers deem It expedient and de
sirable that one or more powers, strangers to the
dispute, should on their own Initiative and ae far
aa circumstances may allow, offer their good) offices
or mediation to the atatea at rartaru-e.
This seems to set at naught any cavil so to
our rights or duties. Back of this our country
has the additional tremendous prestige ot the
avowed and manifest friendship of the various
powers Involved In the present struggle. Oreat
Britain, Germany, France and even Russia, with
whom our diplomatic and commercial relations
have been somewhat strained., have asked the
United States to look after their Interests in the
different countries. This adds an evidence of
substantial confidence and esteem for our gov
ernment. Advices from Washington are to the
offect that all the nations of Europe will exert
every effort to avoid complicating relations
with us.
Should the strategic opportunity come, as in
all human probability It will, and our govern
ment successfully embraces It, It would not only
be a supreme triumph for us as tbe great mon
itor of world peace, but a permanent triumph
also for the cause of universal brotherhood.
The American Adonis.
Young men of America, throw out your
chests; Mrs. Roger ("Diana") Watts, the
famous woman physical culturist of England,
pronounce you tbe nearest approach in all his
tory to "the ancient Greek ideal of the straight
limbed, narrow-hipped athletes." "America,"
she says, "Is breeding a race of greyhounds, for
from Its universities are coming," this kind ot
young men.
Mrs. Watts is here to look us over. She
probably became so Impressed with the speed,
agility and conquering strength of our athletes
at the London Olympics that she felt she must
come and see if the race were up to the stand
ard of Us picked representatives. It Is, of
course. For colleges and universities, . even
primary schools all over the country, are doing
the same work In this particular; they are all
turning out the shapely, graceful, strong, agile
Adonises. t ,
It is counting much In the generation of to
day, but it is going to count far more in the
generations to come. We are not only building
a great physical race thus, but likewise a race
of intellectual and moral greatness. Keen and
clean minds must have well-preserved and
well-developed physical powers, on which, to
build. There is a good deal more In the Amer
ican's passion for athletics and clean sports
than some are disposed for the moment to real
ize. They must never have a smaller part In
our national life.
' Burden Where It Belongs.
When a man abuses his wife or family so as
to Incur a legal penalty be Is usually locked up
in Jail. That is none too bad tor him, but it is
more than a dependent wife and children de
serve. He cannot earn anything for their sup
port In jalf, consequently they suffer, probably
more than if he had not been molested in his
abuses by the law.
Wisconsin has visualised its recognition of
this Inequality by the enactment ot a law that
compels such a man to work tor tbe support of
bis family Instead of lying Idle In prison. Here,
for example, is a man convicted of attacking hts
wife. The state sets him to work at wages, all
of which are turned over to the wife, by whom,
In reality, the man la virtually employed for the
time being. Should be violate the terms ot the
employment he will be subject to a penitentiary
sentence. That, to be sure, would end bis wage-
earning. But what man with common sense la
going to violate such conditions with the peni
tentiary staring him in the face?
Put It down, it you will, aa another of Wis
consin's freak laws; you may not deny that it
tends to place the burden where It belongs on
the' rascal of a man instead ot bis innocent wife
and family. Another effect is to relieve society
ot that much of the burden of public charity,
and to prevent a woman and her child rea. suf
fering the additional humiliation of becoming
public wards.
A Word On Hat Eanfert.
1 The lion. George Wshington Berge at
tacks the citadel of official extravagance at Lin
coln and draws liberal space for his dilations In
tbe public prints. His economical soul Is torn
god tossed with the thought that the last legis
lature, democratic, of course, wasted 97, lt ot
the people's good money on "custodians," or, as
be calls them, "hat-bangers." This, he finds,
was 155.10 a day sheer spilling of real coin.
The discovery ought to get Mr. Berge several
votes In bis 'steenth quest for the governorship.
But after all. who are these hat-hangers be at
tempts to ridicule and malign? Look them over
and you probably will find they are good, hon
est political workers who earned their right to
a dice ot tbe pie by long and arduous labor.
Tbe "hat-hangers' must be wondering why
the vigilant candidate should scatter his tire on
them Instead of centering it on the high-salaried
office-holders drawing down tat stipends for
time spent chasing votes for other lucrative
Jobs.
True, Uncle Sam has no ships to speak of
compared with other nations. Tbe reason Is
that we have steadfastly discouraged shipping,
while other countries have given encourage
ment by subsidies and every, other form of
preferential treatment.
Brief eoaitrtwaMeaei ea ttaaaty
. toplos Invite. STee Bee aeswaise
ae reepeaelMUtr foe eplsdoae ef
eeeTeerpoaAeata. AH letSais see
jeet te eesdeawattea Vy eeUtee.
Knew Why.
HOWE, Neb., Aug. 1-To the Editor
of The Bee: Why In the name of all
that's polite do you have those playing
cards printed In every copy of The Bee
for? I lie awake nights trying to "fig
ure" It out (? It's perfectly all right fo
jou to try to arouse the curiosity of your
men readers (men aren't so curious aa a
rule), but I really think you have a
grudge at your women readets or you
wouldn't keop us In suspense like that.
CURIOUS.
An Idewl PI are far a Pinnae.
OMAHA, Aug. 1 To the Editor of The
a: The Idea of making a bathing
beach out of the Rlvervlew park pond
has been mentioned in your paper some
time ago end as an observer I cannot
refrain from. saying that this body of
water with Its surroundings would make
It at a email expense the Ideal place for
a plunge bath In hot days. For this
reason Rlvervlew would become the most
popular park In the city.
To mention aome advantage of this
place oyer Carter or Manaws lake would
be the more aafe place, especially to
children and on account of Its lower
protected location. The sun rays have
fun sway and thereby enable Its use to
the public a month aooner and that much
later In the season than any other place.
A. O. BOOSTER,
Women Da Vol Register 4 Vate.
SOUTH OMAHA, Neb., Aug. J.-TO the
Editor of The Bee: Recently I received a
copy of a paper printed In a good el fed
city of Kansas, In which the statement
was made that after the most persistent
efforts had been made very few Women
registered to vote and that the friends of
suffrage were greatly disheartened by
the lack of interest on the part of the
women voters.
It Is the same thing wherever Buff rase
exlata. The women do not. want to vote
and If the few agitators for suffrage
were suppressed the movement for woman
suffrage would die of Itself.
The agitators for woman suffrage are
like frogs In the puddle more noisy than
numerous. They are also like the popu
lists of thirty and thirty-five years ago.
From the noise the populists made a per
son would think all of the people were
of that party, but the votes did not show
it. In my opinion the latest fad of the
suffragists, "the melting pot," is about
as silly as the cry of their own that they
are claaaed with the Idiots, Imbeciles,
criminals, pigs and cows becauae they do
not have votes. It la about as ailly a
thing as I ever heard of, whea carried
out by people who claim to have eenae
and Judgment. It is simply aa effort to .
make people think they are hard up for
campaign funds, when they are abun
dantly supplied with cash by Mrs. Bel
mont and other Idle rloh millionaires.' It
la rHmply gotten up to foot people, hut I
do not think It will avail much. When
only a few agitators want suffrage ! do
not see why there should be anything
except Indifference ' en the part ot the
men voters. .Unless they can get up
something better than the "melting pot"
silliness, they had better quit thnlr agi
tation. JT. A. AQNEW.
Te Save the Shipping-. .
NEW YORK, Aug. x-To the Editor of
The . Bee: The withdrawal of German
merchant vessels on account of the war
and the possibility of similar action In
regard to British liners la aufficlently
serious to demand Immediate action to
keep all ocean trade routes open for the
benefit of American manufacturers. This,
despite the fact that the present situation
la greatly exaggerated In the minds of
tnany. For many are apt to overlook that
under any conceivable contingency there
still remains on the north Atlantic the
American, Red . Star, Holland-American,
Scandinavian-American, Norwegian-American
and otheife tinder neutral flags. :
As regards aervlce to Itln . America
the Ward. line to Cuba and Mexico, files
the American flag. So do all lines to
Porto Rico, also the Panama steamship
line. The United Fruit line, the American
'Hawaiian and United States and Brasll
lines, the Merchants' line, the Barber line,
Norton Una and United States and South
American Una are aU American owned.
The BraslUan Uoyd flies the Brazilian
flag. There would not probably be any
disturbance of any consequence whatever
ae far ae transportation facilities to
lAtin America are concerned.
The Panama canal opens on August
15th. providing a direct route from New
York to the Far East,' Australia, etc.
Several lines running there are now owned
In the Unit-d States. .Others operate
Norwegian ships under charter. On the
Paolflo . ooaat two ltnea to the Far East
fly the American flag, others the Jap
aneae and a number of cargo boats are
American owned.
Under the Panama Canal act foreign
built ships ewned by Americana can now
be given American registry, provided
they are engaged In foreign trade and
are not more than frve years old.
Chairman Alexander ot the house com
mittee on merchant marine and fisheries.
Introduced a bill to remove this five-year
limitation. It seems obvious that this
would be the simplest and moat practical
way ot meeting the present situation. '
The removal of the five-year limitation
and the amendment ot the provision mak
ing It eompulaory for all watch officers
to be American cltlsens seems the moat
sensible method of procedure.
FRANKLIN JOHNSTON.. .
Publisher, American Exporter.
What it is All About
Nebraska Editors
Yes, but If John L. should now withdraw his
withdrawal, would "Tom" also withdraw tbe
withdrawal of his withdrawal?
Nothing in that water-marked platform
about straightening out crooked lawyers.
S. E. Mills has purchased the Wake
field republican of Harry Weodworth. - .
A aon ,vaa born to Editor and Mrs.
Falrchlld of iSe Bchuvler Sun last week.
A. L Brands, proprietor of the Pierce
County Call. Is a candidate for the re
publican nomination for clerk In Pierce
county.
J. W. Burleigh, editor and proprietor of
the Loup City Northwestern, Is a can
didate for the republican nomination for
representative In the Fifty-seventh dla
trlct. Henry Pickett, associate editor of the
Wahoo Wasp, and Mlsa Rhea Lamoreeux
were married In CouncU Bluffs a few days
ago. They are spending their honeymoon
la Minnesota.
Raete af the Rnmltr.
The enmity between Serrla and Austria haa like
everything human a doable root and Is the product
of both economic and peychologlc forces. We can
readily Understand the first by putting oureelvea In
Hervle'a plaoe. .
Imagine a country about the else of Maryland,
but with twlre the population, though without Mary
land's mineral and maritime wealth: a mountainous
country, four-fifths of It uncultivated, much of It oak
forest. It la a decapitated country; the upper classes
killed off, driven away or proselyted during Otto
man occupation, mo princes of either the monarchical
or mercantile kind, few capitalists or great land own
era such as dominate neighboring Rumania. It Is a
land of peasant proprietors; "A Poor Man's Para
dise." the scribbling tourist Is fond of calling It, al
though It Is doubtful whether the poor man enjoys
living In such a country as much as. he oee where
there Is more money going, even though he does not
have so much of It as some others. The people are
Slavic by race, Aalatic by culture, four-fifths of the
adults Illiterate, Greek Orthodox by religion, frugal,
hard working. Independent, democratic and patriotic.
(liven such a people-in such a country what are
they to do for a living 7 Obviously not much except
to grow grain and meat for export. Hogs can find
their food la most of the oak woods and be fattened
on the corn of the fields, but where can they be
sold? Not to th southward, for the Mohammedans
of Macedonia and the Jews of Salontaa do not eat
pork. But to the north. Just across tne Danube, Is
a big. rich country, Inhabited mostly by Catholics
who have no aversion to swine flesh except on one day
of the week. Austria-Hungary Is thei the natural
market for Servian products and here they mostly
go. But whenever Austria wants to annoy Servla or
to please Hungary all tt haa to do Is to raise the
tariff rates on trans-Danublan produce or prohibit
the importation of Servian pigs or poultry by quaran
tine rules on the ground of some suppositious dis
ease. By the practice of such tactics, called by the
German writers achweln-politlk, Austria haa reduced
Servla to a condition of economic dependence from
which Servla Is striving to free itself by securing an
outlet to the sea and so to the wide world market
But so far Austria has checkmstec this endeavor.
Last year at the sacrifice of some 70,000 men Servla
cleared the way to the Adriatic, but now finds Itself
shut out from the sea by the interposition of the
Albanian principality manufactured for that purpose.
Industrial Dependence ef Servla.
-But the chief grudge of Servla against its big
neighbor across the river' Is the frustration of Its na
tional rather than Its Industrial development Servla
remembers with the aid of the guslar and his one
stringed fiddle-- that there was once a tlms. seme 600
years ago, when a Serb chieftain, Stefan the Daring,
conquered nearly all the Balkan peninsula and as
sumed the titles of "emperor of the Romans" as suc
cessor to Caesar, and "cxar of Macedonia" as suc
cessor to Alexander the Great, thus combining In one
person the glories of both ancient Greece and Rome.
But Austria again has destroyed the possibility of
such a Servian empire or even one Including the
Servian race alone. More than half me Serbs live
on the north side of the Danube In Bosnia and
Hersegovlna, which were placed In the power ot Aus
tria by the Congress of Berlin In UTS and formally
annexed thirty years later.
Whether the Serbs under Austrian rule are better
off than their Independent brethren on the south side
of the Danube s a disputed question. The tourist
usually reports that Bosnia Is more prosperous than
Servla. Ha tells of the establishment of agricultural
colleges and experiment stations, the erection ot fine
public buildings, the building of railroads, the open
ing of the, country by handsome hotels In picturesque
spots, 4 he development of manufactures, the Improve-
ment of trado and tba equalisation of taxation. .. , B.t
the .contentment of u- people la not t be measured
by. commercial statistics. .How, the Serbs themselves
feel about ft was shown In our Issue of July IS by
Prof. Pupin of Columbia, the moat distinguished of
his race In America. The Serbs In Bosnia complain
that taxes are much higher than they used to be
under the Turkish, regime, that they are being stran
gled .by the red tape of the Austrian bureaucracy,
that the schools are under control of Catholic priests.
Hand they cannot sing the old songs, that their press
Is mussled, and that the government discriminates
In various ways against the Orthodox Serbs snd in
favor of the Cathollo Croats.
Tragedy Sets the Flame.
This accumulated resentment against Austria re
sulted In the tragedy of June 27. when a Servian stu
dent lately returned from Belgrade, aflame with racial
fanaticism, aasasslnated the Austrian heir-apparent
and his wife In Sareyevo, the capital of the annexed
province of Bosnia, This is the method used by the
Serbs In their own country for getting rid of unpopu
lar rulers, so It Is no wonder that tt should have
been adopted In the case of the Austrian. In a hun
dred years Servla haa had eight rulers, of whom three
have been assassinated and four deposed by revolu
tion or the threat of one. , It does not yet seem likely
that the present King Peter will prove an exception
to the rule and complete his reign by , a natural
death. He owes his throne to tbe officers of the
army, who eleven years ago entered the palaos by
night and murdered Kmc Alexander and Queen
Drag a, as well as the premier, the mrnlgter of war
and two of the queen's brothers. The outrages In
flicted on .their bodies by those who both before and
afterward held high office in the stae. make quite
credible the reports of atrocities committed by -the
Serbs on unarmed Bulgers and Albanians In the late
war.
Both Sides la AaaraadUesaaat.
Wa cannot then regard as unreasonable the de
mand of the Austro-Hungarian monarchy that the
Servian government put a atop to the hatching of
such conspiracies as resulted In the crime of Sara
yevo. And whatever we may think of the Austrian
administration of Bosnia we cannot sympathise with
the Serbs In their denunciation of the annexation of
the province by Austria whea we see that Barvia has
this laat year almost doubled Its territory by the con
quest of a territory Inhabited mostly by alien racea.
ir It la wrong for Austria to extend Its rule over the
Serbs ot Bosnia and HersegovlDa It Is wrong tor
Servla to extend Its rule over the Albanians. Turks
and Bulgars In Macedonia. New York Independent.
At a Safe Distance
People and Events 1
Adrlen Hcbra.ro. editor of the Temps and one of
the .leading journalists of France, died In Paris, aged
SO years.
Isaac Stephenson, United tHatea senato from Wis
consin, haa announced he would not be a candidate
for1 re-election.
Count Karolyi. leader of the Hungarian Indepen
dent party, sailed from New York on the French liner
La Savole last Friday.
A bill to reinstate Captain John IL Gtbbona, re
cently "plucked" by tbe naval board, has been favor
ably reported by the house naval committee.
Baron Rothsohlla expresses a eoavtetioa that the
war would be localised. If he knowa, he Is In a way
to double the RothsohUd fortunes several times over.
Charles R. Crane of Chicago haa buaa Invltad by
President Wilson to a conference at the White Bouse.
It Is rumored he will be offered a plana an the federal
reserve board.
Theodore Bock of Hamilton, O , who killed him
self tba other day. was widely known as an axpert
florist During that terms of Presidents Garfield. Ar
thur and Hayes he was the government florist In
charge ot tha Watte House hot haiusea. Those were
the days when Ohio men got what they wasted la
Westiingtoa.
Phlladelphia Preaa: Muizling the dogs
of war Is not so easy If you haven't got
the muxxle.
Philadelphia Ledger: If there Is a
general European war no Immigration
law will be needed.
Baltimore American: The Hague Is a
splendid Institution In times of peace.
Washington Herald: Our guess la that
George Fred Williams will not be caught
on the firing line over there In tha
Balkans.
8t Louis Republic: May we be permit
ted to wonder how many censors It takes
to seal up the sources of European news
these days?
Philadelphia 'inquirer: The kaiser, who
bas Just celebrated his twenty-fifth peace
anniversary, probably thinks he has been
quiet long enough.
Minneapolis Journal: How would you
like to be a reservist In Russia or Ger
many or almost any other old country
in Europe T
Detroit Free Press: There's a chance
for Mr. Carnegie's peace society to cam
paign in the vicinity of the Danube.
Cleveland Plain Dealer; All the "This
Way to the Peace Palace" sign seems to
be down.
Kansas City Star: There Is a good
deal of satisfaction In reflecting that
three thousand miles of Atlantic Ocean
Intervenes between this country and fly
log bullets.
Indianapolis News: The action of the
Tlusslana Is providing an Ikon for the
Servian army may remind you that Ikons
didn't seem to do the Russians much
good during that affair with the Japs.
" New York World: A valiant war party
Is that of Austria, which operates behind
the aged, and stricken Emperor Francis
Joseph, preying upon his weakness and
capitalising his sorrows.
LOOTED LEVITY.
Hacon Pomethlng seems to be the mat
ter with the ship of state.
Egbert Sin-e; a lot nf tho gn-sdwa
In Washington are rocking It. Vonkera
Statesman. ,
Hamlet Wliy Is it Simon, tliat thev
always have bloodhounda In an Unrte
Tom s Cabin show?
Simon Legree To find the manager on
salary days, my boy. Puck.
"Who painted that wonderful eld pict
ure?" asked the visitor.
"I.et me tell you a secret." replied 'Mr.
Cumrox. "If J had spent my life learning
to pronounce the namea of all these great
artlnts I'd never have made money enough
to buy their pictures." Washington Star.
"Have you a rest room In your estab
lishment?" -
"We used to have them in the old days,"
said the manager of the department store,
"but there has beea Jio demand for suoh
things for many month We have
turned all our rest rooms Into tango par
lors." Houston Chronicle. - -. i
"I saw your suburbo running a new
machine this morning."
"Was it one of the latest models?"'' '
. "I couldn't say." :
"l though you knew all about automo
biles." "So I do. But I don't know anything
about lawn mowers." New York Globe.
K0MAKCE OF A BALL PLAYER.
Orantland Rice In Collier's.
"You've made a hit with me." he said
"You've got the curves you've got tiie
speed;
Come Jump to me and be my Fed,
And sign me up to be your fed."
He stuck a fast one round her neck.'
ine oiner, waist-nigh sailed across,
And then, a atartled. blighted wreck, :
Ha heard her edge In with thla toes -
"Nix on the squeeae that's not 'm
stuff
Play off don't hug the base so tight;
I m wise to this Three Hundred Muff
From guys that bat around all night.'
"Here comes the hit and run." she cried;
Her old man blew in off the street;
The player sprinted with a slide,
But he was thrown out twenty feet.
Matches? Pooh!
They Were Too Small
to Bother About v
The first phos
phorus match was
made in 1812.
Then, for a hundred
years, man forgot
about matches.
He invented the
telegjaph, the tele
phone, the wireless,
the turbine engine,
the ocean liner, the
flying machine. He
gridironed the suf
! face of the earth
with railroads. But
matches? Poohl
They seemed too
small to bother
about
And yet, if there is
one thing more than
another that this
country has needed,
it is a better match
a match that will
strike anywhere
and yet be safe
a match that
won't spark or sputter,!
or break easilya match . ;
that will burn evenly
and is non-poisonous.
The Safe Home Match;
is a real safety match...
It strikes anywhere,'
It does not spark. It does,
not sputter. It burns
evenly. The stick is -strong
and sturdy. You ;.
cannot break it unless "
you apply very much
more force than Vydue"
are likely to do;: ;
Best of all the ; Safe
Home Match is non-poisonous.
Sc a box, Alt grocers. Ask for them by name.
Read one installment of $
"The Trey O' Hearts' jT
Each Sunday In
:
Tie Beer (or tie Home, Hotel, Qui and Caie
Anheuser Busch Co. of Nebr.
DISTRIBUTORS
Family trade eappQe4 by
G.H. HANSEN, Dealer
PUone Douglas 2S0S
OMAHA NEBRASKA