7
Mother-in-Law Who Turned
"The Long Way "Round, and the Short"
By Nell Brinkley
Cg
Hy ADA PATTERSON.
A broker sued his mother-in-law for
lnatlng his wife's affections. He
nntcit $W,eOO for tho affections ho had
1 . t '1 1 f nn T .....1 A L. I
mot lin r In . Inw
turned.
Motlicr-ln-1 awn
hnvo not the habit
ot lurn nc. at least
In nubile. They
THE BEE: OM 1I , KK11UY. JULY 24. 1914
lmvo been tha
long suffering
tnr.rts for nil al
leged Jests that
hard put to it
iwragraphers and
dubiously comlo Il
lustrators h a v o
sped at them.
They havo smiled
,wlth mingled pa-
Urtlirn nnrl f(in.
They hehavo well as long as you do.
This mothor.ln-law has turned. In hit
li g words with the sting ot truth In them,
f-ho has replied In court, holding the
f.Vfl.om tight.' that It was not she who
alienated his wife's affections, but his
own habit of talking about the girl who
had been his former fiancee.
"He and his mother would sit In my
daughter's presence and talk by the
hour about the girl to whom ho had been
ngaged," she said. 'Although the girl
had broken tho engagement ho had -never
ceased to loyo her. He carried a. mlnla
turo of her- in his pocket. He and hl
mother were always praising her. That
is why my daughter's affection for him
vanished."
And what would you do? , Some
women who havo married widowers
havo been jealous of ' their predecessors,
nlthough it ill not quite normal to bo
Joalous of tho dead. In such cases tho
unhapplnesa has oftcner been caused by
tho husband's ..definite comparisons of
tho present with the former wife, than
hy any vaguely, disturbing memories of
aid Imaginings about the one time In
cumbent. 'Ktit' any Women with a spark
of spirit about her will bo set ablaze
with Indignation by continual reference
to a woman still alive and evidently
maintaining her old power. Tho hus
band who' practices such a form of
i ruclty deserves all that follows and be
sure, If tho woman have tho true Ameri
can spirit something will follow.
Tho widower usually has the grace to
placo the portraits of his first com
panion; In- somo little used room. Her
iign Is over. If memory ot her still per-Mslr-
she at least does not perform tho
oflice 6fa dally oral reminder. But tho
man whoso continual theme of conver
sation .Is the charm of a former sweet
heart is.aa tactful as an elephant In a
hothouse.
It Is. abnormal, save In exceptional
circumstances, to V'o Jealous of tho dead,
It Is normuj and cxttigable. to maintain
tin attlWrte of suspicious watchfulness
toward the' quick particularly' If the
watchful attitude 1? created by a con
tinuous' conversational performance.
I know a 16-year-od girl who brought
flown Upon herself tho first harsh words
hrr father, ever spoke to her by an al
lusion fo'the man, to whom her mother
had once been engaged. "Mr. Brown?"
said the girl. "Wasn't he spoons with
mamma once."
"That remark is in very bad taste,"
her parent said. "Don't let me 'hear any
more like it."
Going to her mother for comfort the
rnun receiveu a pai on mo neaa ana a
milling, .'Never mind dear. That is tho
man I would have married if. I hadn't
married your father. Your father knows
It. I'm afraid 1 was a bit of a flirt.!
Hut I never speak of him and you must
not."
Commendable Is tho attitude of a brldn
of Inst month, a' famous belle, who
surprised her friends by marrying a man
noted for' his affairs of the heart
"I have heard all about them," she said
payly, "but I shall hear of them no
more. "We are going to forget and begin
nil over."
Of course the man who harped about
his former sweetheart and- carried her
plctuio didn't get his $500,000. The, Jury
agreed -that ho had misplaced-his. wife's
affections as he might his wallet through
his own carelessness.
THE
WAY
'Hound
Dan has two ways of getting to a wedding the long and the short
of It; one's the "long way 'round," and It takes him years on his
stubby legs to get there. His Man and his Girl waded tho long grass
together when . ho wore a gingham shirt and pair of home-made
breeches held by a single 'spender, and she had dimples In her knees
and wore a hat with a loose loop of straw a-floppin up and down and
little aprons that tied in a sagging bow behind. They played together
and the years wore by and they worked together and birthdays
piled up and they dreamed together and all 'a sudden these two who
had tramped the same trail for Youth's whole lifetime clasped their
hands tighter and drifted into sweethearting. And tho woddlng tho
end of a long chumship that nelthor could remombor the beginning of,
with candles and the deep boom of tho organ and the golden-throated
peal of bells put tho loop of gold about two youngsters whom years
had already welded Into one.
And the other Is a short cut to the same thing, and though 1
ought to pull a long face and say this never works out right I don't
dast becaime whon I count up all I know of the two ways of Dan's
romance-building I find Just as many "they lived happy ever aftors"
Jottod tb the credit of one as tho other. Dan doesn't waste on the
short cut. A man and a maid may moot on tho tip-top of a wave of
tho Sca-of-Life, swimming hnrd nnd fancy-free, strangers utterly, he
novor dreaming thnt hor sweet face, finished nnd grown, was atop of
the earth; she never getting in tho span of hor youth oven a rumor
that his clean face, with steady eyes and big mouth, was bobbing round
somewhere in tho waste of water. Faro to face on tho shouldering
wave one day and the next they're married. The Long Way 'Hound
and Tho Short Cut!
NELL DltlNKLEY.
Summertime Fables
F
Alii
1
DANDRUFF
-' wv
For Four Years. Dandruff Could Be
Seen Plainly. Head Burned and
So Itchy Could Hardly Stand It.
Used Cuticura Soap and Oint
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full of It. It could be iivn
plainly at times and when
ever I would comb my hair
It would come out pretty had
and my coat would be covered
with it. Whenever I would
O red and leave little pimples.
' i V'1 Then my head would burn
and bo so itch) that I could hardly stand It.
"I tried almost everything but with no
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about Cuticura Soap and Ointment and
thought I would try thrm. After using
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doing mo so much pood that I kept right
on using tho Cuticura Soap for washing my
hair and the Cuticura Ointment for rubbing
on my scalp. Now my hair is nice and
thick and I am not bothered with any more
dandruff or falling hair. The trouble has
disappeared." (Signed) Boy Mlttendorf,
Jan. 31, 1014.
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By DOROTIIY DIX.
Once upon a time there was a youth
who perceiving that he was In the also
ran class, and was never 'Ikely to win
out in the race of life, determined to
rnako an end of
himself.- Thereupon
h sought the big
drink, but before ho
took the fatal
plunge he sat down
upon the bank and
wept a few.
While he was thus
bemoaning his fate,
an old man, observ
ing his grief, ap
proached and ad
dressed him.
"Why these gobs
of gloom?" the aged
party Inquired.
"Alas," replied the
youth, "I am noth
ing but a false
alarm, and as I do
not desire to be merely a piker all ro
days, I have resolved upon doing the
suicide stunt, for of what use Is it to
possess a dress suit if you have nowhere
to wear It, or to have brains in your
heels If the only place where you can
Maxlxe is In a cheap dance palace?"
"Ha," cried the old man, "ypxit case
Is one of aspiring youth and blasted
ambition combined with symptoms of
lack of opportunity." ,
"You have got me, Steve," replied the
youth, with a fresh burst of woe.
"I apprehend," said the ancient
mariner, "that you yearn to be a lady's
pet, and have the fair ones sighing for
our favor."
"Mock me not.'" returned the youth,
"but such is tho desire of my heart."
"Also," continued the gray beard,
"that you would not look with disfavor
upon easy money."
"Try me," exelalmed the youth.
Likewise," suggested the venerable
philosopher, "that you would not ser
iously object to occupying the center of
the stage with spotlight turned on you
"In pity," pleaded the youth, "quit pull
ing that earthly paradise stuff on me."
"All may be" yours," quoth the old
man, "if you will only follow my poun
se'. Arise, go fprth and purchase your
self glad raiment, and beat it to the
nearest summer resort. There shall fair
women struggle for your favor, and claw
each other's eyes out for the privilege
i of tangoing with you, and also shall they
1 feed you on rich foods and ply you with
ccstly drinks, and ride you about in
I automobiles. Likewise you may marry
'the daughter of a pork king, for a thing
Is of value In proportion to Its rarity,
I and a man at a summer resort Is a penrl
in a barrel of clams."
Thereupon the youth did as the old
man bade him, and the result was even
as the wise one had prophesied.
I Moral: This fable teaches that the
summer is th,e young man's opportunity,
Hnd sagacious Is ho who embraces It.
Bishop Butler and John Wesley
Uy HEV. THOMAS 11. OIIEGORY.
Bishop Hutler and John Wesley' What
n royal pair the great thinker and the
might organlxer; the author of the Im
mortal "Analogy" and the founder of
the great Metho
dist church.
In 1739. some
where around this
date, the good
bishop and the un
ruly priest locked
horns in a some.
nnlmated conversa
tion. Do Morgan
lato professor of
mathematics I n
University college,
Ixindon, Ceclared
that "there may
h'e conversational
arguments, but there nre no argumenta-
i
The Girl in Her 'Teens
Advice to Lovelorn
: y BSATBXOB TAUIFAX
Mir Dora Sot I.oic You.
Dear Miss Fairfax- I am a young man
SJ years of age. And dearly in love with
a girl about 19. I met her abuot two
years ago, and been with her three tlmea
since. I do not live In the same town
6he does, and come up nearly every Hun
day night hoping to see her. Wo write
to each other all the time, but I miss her
every time I come. About three nights
ago I met hr with another friend of
hers, and she did not know me, And I
would like to lot her know that I am
doarly In '.ova with her, hut never get to
see her when I get to her town. Now I
would like your advice what to do, try
and win her, or keep friends with the
other girl 1 itit the night I come down,
thinking I would meet Cathryn. Hut I'm
not in loe with the other girl. She Is
only about 15 years of age. OLONDM
I It Is very apparent the young lady
Uloe not care much about you, or she
jwfuld be mure careful about keeping
; appointments with yo'i Let hrr alone
'for a time, and If she cares for you, she
'will find a way to let on know If she
doensn't cars for you. It Is a waste of
time for you to pursuo her.
Urat n While.
Dear MIsn Fairfax: 1 have had three
husband. The first one drank and I left
him. Tho second one chewed and I left
him. The third one left tne. Which of the
three do you think I had better try to
reconcile myself with MAllIAH JONEH.
The fact that you have had three hus
bands Indicates you did not care a great
deal for either. You would probably
better desist from marriage until you are
able to mske up your own mind.
Don't lie sorry.
Dear Miss Fairfax: I am a girl of
eighteen and go to school in the itj. I
meet a young fellow dally and he la Just
dying to get acquainted. The other day
I met him and he tipped his hat and 1
did not answer. Now I am sorry as
would love to know him. HOIlltV.
You did tho right thing don't regret
that. A nice girl cannot afford to take
chances involved In making acquaintan
ces with men of whom she knows nothing.
Very Simple
Deaf Examlner--Now sreak up. bov Do
you know what nasal organ means?
Boy No. sir.
Examiner-Correct '-Iondon Opinion,
tive conversations" De It as it may, the
bishop and Wenley were that day re
sponsible for a very warm dialogue, the
effects of which Were to tell upon man
kind for ages to come.
Dutler. who was the soul of urbanity
and kindliness, met In Wesley one whoj
b Just as urbane and Just as kind, hut
who had a backbone that no one could
bend. Wesley had been preaching to the j
colliers of Klngswnod, In Ilutler'n diocese, I
ai d, at the Instigation of some "ortho
dox ' rlergsinan. was summoned to
the episcopal palace to make his
defense
They talked of "faith" ami "works,"
of "sacraments" and "successions." and
lots of other things, when the bishop ac
cused Wesley of the "pretension to ex
traordinary revelations and gifts of the
Holy Spirit a very horrid thing," which
pretension Wesley denied with great
heat
The ritt result of the "set-to," so far
as the bishop was concerned, whs the
conviction on tho bishop s part that
Wesley was "an undesirable citizen. " or
vet at any iste an undesirable priest to
have roaming around preaching to the
sinners of his dlocee. "You must leave,
Mr. Wesley. You have no commission
to preach here."
Wesley, notwithstanding his well known
humility, was never lacking In tho dis
position to ,'lght for what he believed to
be a good cause, and when the bishop
told him that he had "no commis
sion to preach," he threw back at
his lordship the staggering pronounce
ment: "My commission Is to preach every
v here. I am a priest of tho church
unhcraal."
We are not told how that bombshell af
filed the good bishop, but right here,
troin all accounts, the dialogue abruptly
closed. The bishop went back to his
study to write a preface to tha second
edition of the "Analogy," and Wesley
strode out to found the Methodist church
an institution that was to girdle the
globe with a zone of fleiy enthusiasm,
oi.d reach the pioportlons that should
astonish mankind.
By BEATRICE PAU1FAX.
When a girl Is In her early teens she
nied her mother most. Mothers take
ery good care of their little children and
chaperon their young lady daughters con
ventionally, but they generally leave the
girl of II or lo years to shift for herself.
She seems too young for problems and
swectheorts, she Is old enough to attend
to the small concerns of life for herself
and since she doet, not need to be taken
care ot like a child, she Is not guarded s
she grows to womanhood.
Tho girl of 15 years often runs 'the
streets till dark. She has for "beaux" all
sorts of boys whom she ought never to
know. She frequents the movlep, tho
parks, the soda fountains and the beaches
In summer and may een go tc cheap
cabarets In winter, and because she comes
homo before dinner and goes to bed at &
o'clock no one dreams she may be com
ing to harm.
Clrantnl that her own good moral flbic.
her early training, and the atmosphere of
her home keep her from actual wrong
doing, still what of her fineness, her
girlish sweetness, her modesty?
flhe finds herself growing restless as
she ceases lo stand "with reluctant feet
where brook and river meet."
She takes one wild leap and strikes out
Into the deeper waters. Bhe becomes a
noisy, silly, giggling creature, who lives
on fudge and "sundses," and absurd love
affairs and trashy novels.
Phe learns to value the froth of llfo
Instead of the "golden wine of living."
The girl In her teens needs a friend
lier mother.
She needs some one to guide and con
trol her, to sympathize with nnd under
ttand her- Khe needs a home to which
to lirlng jiur friends and a guiding spirit
tlu re to keep her in a wholesome group
of happy young folks together. and not
wandering off Into dangerous boy and
girl Intimacies In emotional young couples
who do not understand themselves.
She would have sensible relations with
boys if she saw them In a frank, natural
home environment and was saved from
premature pairing- off
The girl in her teens needs a mother'
who will not Ignore romanco that grows
apace In tho heart of youth. Th
mother who "plays fair" with her glr
will cultivate the dream, In youth's heajt
o that It will grow in flowers and nol
In weeds.
Tho gill In her teons needs of alt thin.
on earth sympathy, guidance, and under
standing loo to bring her unscathed to
her high heritage of womanhood.
Doit Kidnap Kitten.
Muffy a tabby cat. nt the home ol
Carl I. Meyran. 2S3 South Wilton place,
niado a move several duys ago which re.
suited In the kidnapping of her family,
two blue-eyed kittens, by a little fox ler
rler dog. Muffy prefers to bring up her
family according to her own Ideas, and
resents any Interference, no matter how
good one's Intentions may be. Neither
docs she take any stock In those new
Tangled Ideas of sanitation; so when a
neighbor designed to sprinkle flea pow
uer on her offspring she moved them to
a new home. This came very near being
Muffjr undoing, for no sooner had she
settled in the new place than along came
the lltt e fox terrier, who. having nd
family, took the kittens. Mrs. Muffy wns
frantic until someone found and restored
her family to her.-l.oa Angeles Times,
FRECKLE-FACE
Ban and Wind Bring Ont Ugly Spots,
tlow to Kcmov easily.
Here's a cliance, Miss Frcckle-fa.ee, to
try a remedy for freckles with tha guar
antee of a reliable dealer that It will not
cost you a pnny unless it removes the
freckles: while If it docs give you a clear
complexion tho expense Is trifling.
Simply got on ounce of othlne double
strength from Sherman & McConncll
Drug Co., or any other druggist, and a
few applications should show" you how
easy It Is to rid yourself of tho homely
freckles und get a beautiful complexion.
Ita'rely Is more than one ounce noeded for
the wort case.
He sure to ask the druggist for the
double strength othlne as this Is the pre
scription sold under guarantee of money
back if it falls to remove freckles. Advertisement.