Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, July 20, 1914, Page 4, Image 4

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    THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, 1VLY 20, 1914.
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE
FOUNDED DY EDWARD KOBEWATHR.
VICTOR ROSKWATER, EDITOR.
The Bee Publishing Company, Proprietor.
BEE BUILDING, FARNAM AND 'SEVENTEENTH.
Kntertd at Omaha postotflce a second-class matter.
TERMS OP SUDSCniPTION. "
By carrier By malt
per month, pe r year.
v.alty and Sunday o JG.w
Eslly wtthout Sunday... o. J.00
Kvenlns and Sunday.. .o 6.00
Kvenlng without Sunday o J.OO
Sunday Bee only... V',":' 2 0?
Send notice of chanco of address or complaints of
Irregularity In delivery to Omaha Bee, Circulation
Department.
REMITTANCE.
Remit br draft, express or postal order. Only two
rent stamps received In payment of small ac
counts. Personal checks, except on Omaha and eastern
exchange, not accepted.
OFFICES.
Omaha-Tho 11 Building.
South Omaha 318 N street.
Council Bluffs 14 North Main street
I.tncoln-K Little Building.
Chicago 901 Hearst Building.
New York Hoom 1101, 2SS Fifth avenue.
St Louls-KB New Bank of Commerce.
Washington 725 Fourteenth Bt., N. W,
CORRESPONDENCE,
i A.tm.mm i.f.mmtintrsllnn rlitlnr tn news and edl-
torlal matter to Omaha Bee, r.dltorlal Department. ,
.U'XK CIRCULATION.
52,662
State of Nebraska. County of Douglas, ss.
Dwight Williams, circulation manager of The Bee
Publishing compnny, being duly sworn, says that
the average dally circulation for the month of June,
1SH. was EJ.OGZ
DWIOI1T WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager.
Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me
this 7th day of July, 19H.
ROBERT HUNTER, Notary Tubllc
Subscribers leaving tlio city temporarily
lionld hare Ttio Iteo mailed to them. Ad
dress will bo changed as often ns rcqnestcri.
Huerta having fanned out, Carbajal Is sent
in as the pinch bitter.
The best definition of genius Is tlio applica
tion of one's best powers.
The sworn testimony of those sleuths makes
mighty interesting reading.
Those "Holy Rollers" aro also high rollers,
judging from the times they have.
It appears that oven Mr. Molleu Is ablo to
get some compensating Joys out of life.
If a minister who will keep his mouth shut
is wanted for Greece, why not semi John LI ml?
If meat must go up, the best time for it is
in the good old summer time, when folks need
it least.
What is preventing the president of the bar
association from resuming his open letter
writing;?
A little moro of this weather and Omaha
will retrieve itself as the greatest Inland sum
mer resort.
New. York, Is spending, ?&JD, Q0t0 fighting
grasshoppers. Thonsay Kansas has no Influence
in the east.
It seems that Drotncr Amos has failed to
land up there among tho groat "unafraid men"
of the country.
Has somebody thrown a wet blanket over
Governor Colo Ulease, that we are hearing so
little from him?
in the congressional primary race it's an
even wager that It will bo nip and tuck between
Al Sorenson and Tom Blackburn.
It's the molasses barrel that draws the flies.
One glance at tho filings will tell which offices
are supposed to carry the fat pickings.
"West Virginia soda fountains now sell
whisky sundaes," says the Now York World.
And soda fountains do not always wait for a
prohibition law.
Nelson O'Shaughnossy has this much over
the other diplomats In Mexico City to bo thank
ful for; lie got out in time to escape a farewell
kiss by Huerta.
Members of the firm of J. J. Morgan & Co.
had no comment to muke oi the Interstate Com
merce commission's report on the New Haven.
Wall Street Journal.
Realizing the market value of golden silence.
According to tho senate report, the New
Haven lords spent millions as If it had been
sUgo money. There Is this difference between
them and the actor folks, though those' mil
lions belonged to stockholders, while the actors
throw away the managers' stuff.
Well, suppose tho cnglncmen's demunds
should raise the wage bill of ninety-eight rail
roads $33,000,000 a year, that would bo only
about $33G,735 per road, as against the $100,
000,000 annual Increase In freight rates askod
by a smaller number of western line. "No
strike" is the slogan, yet there are two sides to
the question.
The New Philippine Bill.
The bill granting autonomy to the Philip
pines, which Congressman Jones of Virginia, as
chairman on insular nffalrs, recently intro
duced, reaffirms the Intention of tho United
Stat on to recognlio tho Filipinos' Independence
"as soon as stable government shall bo estab- ,
llshed therein," substitutes for tho commission i
a senate composed of members elected from i
tho Christian provinces, nil fully approved by
President Wilson, Secretary Garrison and Man- I
tiel Quezon, Philippine commissioner to con
gress. But what actual benefit or ndvantago the
bill confers upon tho Filipino people which they
nro not already enjoying is not apparent. Tho
republican party, which happened to be in
power when the Islands wero acquired and on
up through the period of their great develop
ment, from tho first promised autonomy Just as
soon ns the Filipino peoplo showed a capacity
for it. This promise was made good by granting
the fullest possible measure of self-government
In proportion to tho progress achieved. So that
when tho republicans turned over tho Islands
to the present democratic administration in
March of last year, they had succeeded in se
curing tho foundations of the stable government
which the democrats now threaten to upset and
which may thereby postpone Independence in
stead of hastening it.
ifi& !
ri,
The Significance of It.
If It be true, ns stated, that R. B. Howell lias
given out that If elected governor lie will retain
Ilarlcy O. Moorhead as election commissioner at
Omaha, It Is a more significant endorsement of the
administration of Coventor Morehcnd than could
bo written Into any democratic plntform. Lincoln
Star.
That is where Tho Star Is all wrong, for Its
significance is not as an endorsement of Gov
ernor Mornhead but In an entirely different
direction. Give Mr. Howell credit for boing
n crafty politician, and knowing what he is
aiming at. Remembor too, that the election
commissioner of Douglas county has complete
control of all tho machinery of the coming pri
mary, and is tho sole appointing power for near
COO election officers. Under tho law tho $3,000
a year election commissioner is wholly and
absolutely nonpartisan, but outside of the law
ho, and hlB appointees, are under the same Im
pulse of human nature to protect their own
moal tickets as are other people. The promise
to retain tho election commissioner is in the
nnturo of a bribe offer to securo the moral sup
port (of course, not the active help), of the
GOO Judges and clerks of election, who will be
Johnny-on-the-spot inside of overy booth where
tho ballots aro to ho cast. No, tho promise to
keep tho Incumbent democrat is not an endorse
ment of Governor Morohoad nor even a confes
sion that no republican can bo found to do tho
Job as well. It Is merely a card played In the
political gamo tn the hope that it will prove the
highest trump In the deck.
Statistics, Dependable and Worthless.
Our attention has been called to tho tre
mendous discrepancy In some figures we quoted
not long ago from the fedoral census report
with roforenco to the yield and valuo of alfalfa
'' grown lu Nebraska, and figures on tho same
crop lssuod by tho Stato Buroau of Labor sta
tistics. Suffico it to say that the state complied
ostlmatos aro almost twice what the census cred
its to Nobraska, and mako tho yield of the al
falfa crop alono moro than the census gives for
all tho cultivated forage crops combined. This
Is not only true as to valuo but as to quantity,
tho stato bureau's figures on alfalfa being 30
per cent hlghor In tonnage than the census fig
ures. The Btato bureau furthermore estimates
on nn arbitrary valuation of $12. DO a ton,
whereas the census has presumably tried to get at
tho actual market quotation, using a price con
siderable loss.
Wo are adverting to these conflicting sta
tistics not to start a diupute, but to show the
necessity moro urgent now than over of more
adequate provision by the state for gathering
and presenting our crop and Industrial statis
tics, and the ndoptlon of some method approach
ing accuracy in place of the hit-and-miss system
that has been prevailing. Unless wo are to have
moro dependable returns, it would be better to
abolish this bureau altogether and savo the
money. On the other hand, an efflclont bureau
of statistics would rove a good Investment for
Nebraska taxpayers.
it mom ace riLcj
The summer garden In connection with the Stadt
theater was crowded for the appearance of Miss Was,
man with tho stock company. The ncwiomer U Ue
saribed as "very charming and possesses an uttrartlvu
voice and a magnificent figure.'' Two plays were pre.
aented, a farce, "Site Has Discovered Her Heart"
and a musical comedy, "The Baker's Apprentice."
"He That Ooveroometh Shall Wear White Rai
ment," evening text of Rev. Charles W. Suvldge at
the First Methodist Episcopal church.
The IJttl Shamrocks beat the Nallworkera by a
score of to 7.
Tho high board feme around the base bull grounds
waa again wrecked by today's atortn.
V. V and J. Wheeler, under the firm name of
Wheeler Brothers, wilt open up In one of the new
stores In Bushman's block with a full line of books
and stationery.
V. Lmndergren. J. W. Taylor and B. C. Westerdahl
received appointment as permanent postal clerks with
an tncreaso of salary of pw a year.
Prof. Felix Blanckenfeldt has returned from his an
riual northern trip.
Among Items allowed by the county board Is a fee
tit 110 to Di R J Mattls for performing a pot-mor
tern examination f
Again the Contingent Fee Graft.
A candidate for state senator down at Lin
coln lu his printed prospectus charges that "am
bulance chasing" lawyers have cleared $100,000
In contingent fee graft out of damage suits dur
ing the time they have held up tho workmen's
compensation law by Invoking the referendum
on It. He promises, it elected, not only to help
ro-cnact a workmen's compensation law In the
event the one subject to referendum falls, but
to sot absolute limits to the whole contingent
fee business:
I would endeavor to pass a law prohibiting the
lawyers from receiving, retaining or contracting to
receive more than 19 per cent of the judgment ob
tained In any claim for damage sustained. The cub
tomary fee of lawers who take claims for damage Is
to per cent and In some cases I have known as high
as- 00 per cent, so .that after a Judgment Is collected
for damages by a tllsubled workman, he has not much
left after the lawyers get through with lilm. I make
the statement knowing full well that there is a cer
tain olasa of lawyers In IJncoln who wilt do every
thing In their power to get my political scalp, but
that doesn't deter me In the least from making It.
This goes u little further than anything
urged by The Bee, which has advocated merely
making the validity of nil contingent fee con
tracts contingent upon prior filing as a public
record, and revision and approval by the Judges
of the court. This much is certain the con
tingent fee graft with its attendant incentive to
crooked lawyers for framed-up evidence, per
jury and Jury fixing, will, because of the inac
tion of the reputable lawyers, eventually require
treatment by tho law-makers.
Secretary Bryan insists that $25,000,000 Is
none too much to make up to Colombia what
It lost by the success of the Panama revolution.
That Colombia suffered a loss no one questions,
but why should Uncle Sam foot the bill unless
ready to admit being the cause of the loss?
Our democratic United States senator die
tates a dispatch to his personally owned news
paper organ explalnlng'that In fighting Presi
dent Wilson's appointees, he Is not fighting the
president not at all. In the language of our
cowboy mayor, "Tell that to the marines "
Brisf contributions on timely
topic lnrlted. Tne Bes asaumea
so responsibility lor opinion of
correspondents. All letters eat
Jset to condensation fcy editor.
(lit ilr Forever.
OMAHA, July lR.-To the Editor of The
Bee: Pleaso find a cutting from your
pnper about a Masonic republic. "Who
Kvcr Raises a Flag In This Country
Without Old Cllory's Star and Stripes
Above It, Shoot Him on the Spot." And
I am a Mason and have been for forty
years. JOHN O. WILLIS.
Situ .No Two Side In It.
OAKHFRST. Neb.. July IS. To the Kdl
tor of The Hoe: If I had not already
been n suffragist for forty years, the ar
ticles In favor of suffrage In The Bee's
.Letter Box would have converted mc
long ere this. I think t am nt lca.it fnlr
mlnded, but In all tho nntl articles I
can't ceo a single thing on the othor side.
The simple facts In the case are that If
tho women opposed to votes for women
don't want to vote they can have the
privilege of staying nt home, as that Is
one of their stock arguments that women
belong at home.
There Is not and never has Ik en anything
compulsory about voting, and oa for add
ing to our responsibilities and duties, they
don't hove to. Homo men never vote,
some come hero from foreign countries
and never even take out citizenship
papers and some born hero do not value
tho franchise enough to use It. When wo
lived on a farm the corn buskers, who
wero gathering by the bushel, neldom
left the field to vote. Ifs the flimsiest
kind of an argument to say that the
women would not all vote, when the men
do not all vote.
I think It would be In Nebraska as It
was In California, the antls put tn their
best licks to defeat It and when they
didn't they wero the first ones at the
polls to try their newly acquired Influ
ence, "out It has always been so. Those
that never raise a hand to help on a good
cause that others have given their time,
money and strength to accomplish, step In
and enjoy those privileges without even
a quaver of conscience.
Talk of women (ns a class I mean), bo
Injj protocted, provided for and sup
ported, there never was a falser state
ment. If women had wages for all the
hours put In at work or waiting for some
thing to work with, and had only to put
up for their half of the support of the
family, most of those women would have.
R bank account and would not be the de
pendent parasitical things they are at the
present time, under tlio present laws In
most of the Htates.. I wonder if men
think It's a picnic of peace and content
ment to live as long as I have and many
millions more like mo for sixty years, not
even n citizen of the country I was born
In, not even owning our own children by
law, only a child's sharo of the property
accumulated Jointly, nothing wc can call
our own. It n husband dies must go to
the county Judge to get permission to use
some of tho money to bury him, then If
the widow happens to marry a foreigner
who has not been naturalized, or any
other woman marries one she looses her
citizenship In the states where she has a
vote. Compare all this with the right of
men under the samn circumstances.
MRS. OLLA KIRKPATItlCK.
Trlbutei of u Siiectntor.
OMAHA, July IS. To the Editor of The
Bee.: I wish to pay n belated tribute
to Omaha and Nebraska .
Geographically situated In the center
of the greatest and most prosperous
country in tho world, Omaha wilt even
tually be recognized ns one of the most
delightful spots In which to reside. It
Is growing by leaps and bounds. New
logo and handsome buildings are spring
ing up on every side. Qood citizens with
broad Ideas are devoting their time,
money nnd energy to making Omaha
"The City Beautiful."
I had a most enjoyable treat a few
evenings ago, when I had tlm privilege
of attending a concert given uy mo
Fourth regiment band at Kountzo park.
The program Included some dellRhtful
compositions by the world's greatest
composers. It is a common experience,
"See Naples and dla." Another might be
added, "Hear A'erdfs Miserere and I
Die."
I think I never saw a happier crowd of
people In my life. There were many
grown-ups, bin; the children,' uni .me
children, how the happy, handsome chil
dren were enjoying themselves. 1 saw
a gentleman, very active In promot
ing the success of the evening. Ho
was here, there and everywhere, with
ii smile and pleasant look for every,
body. Ho fairly radicated happiness. I
asked a group of youngsters, who ho
was. "Hully Gee," they said, in surprise
at the question. "Why that's Mr. Hum
mell, the kids' friend. He's always do
ing thlnga for us and making the parka
nice." He was. indeed, for Just then
he was buying out a lady's whole stock
of ice cream and distributing it amongst
the kids. He seemed to be the children's
idol.
There Is only one thing surely laoklnc
A safe place for men and boys to take
u bath and enjoy a good swim. It
would pay for itself In the lone run.
SPECTATOR.
That ntl-Mif f rnur Mnulfealo.
BRADS II AW, Neb., July IS. To. the
Editor of The Bee: Having Just read
that burning manifesto ugalnst woman,
sutfrago enunciated by a bunch of Omaha
lawyers calling themselves the "Ne
braska Men's association." Now It is
no uncommon thing for Omaha to have
some kind of an association ready to
manifesto against any nnd all forward
movements. We nil remember well the
"Business Men's association" of a few
years ago, and the principle object of
its organization. This "Men's associa
tion" begins Its resolutions with a very
pretty prelude that will, no doubt, cause
every woman who reads, to smile and
blush with pride. It says;
We tecognlso In hrr admirable and
adorable qualities and sweet and noble
Influences which make for the betterment
of mankind and the advancement of
civilization.
Now such flattery to us sounds most
Inconsistent almost a travesty upon
womankind, after one has gone through
the entire conglomeration of balderdash
that makes up the manifesto. They say:
Wo have ever been ready to grant to
woman every right and protection even
to favoritism In the law, apd to give
her every opportunity that makes for de
veolpment and true womankind.
Hero oomca a question that hus always
been uppcrmostt in our mind. Who gave
the male portion of Ood'a creation the
right to usurp to themselves the right
to grant or withhold from the female
that brought man into existence and
nourished him Into manhood, any rights
or privileges he claims for himself? Will
any of the noted bunch tell us by what
authority they do these things '-JOHN
I. PAY
Money in Movies
Interesting Inside Light Shed by
Isaac F. Marcosson in Collier's.
I New Haven Wreck
(Jrowlh of the IMrtnre Ahon-.
When you shove your dime through the box
offlco window of your favorite movie theater. It
Joins a current of coin that registers a total dally
admission fee In the Fnltcd States alone of
H.OOO.OfA Tho theater you enter Is a link In a chain
of "picture houses" that, placed side by side, would
stretch from New York to Hartford. The film that
flashes Its thrill and romance on the screen before
you Is part of a far-flung belt of animated celluloid
that In the course of a year would girdle the globe
nearly three time over.
Five millions of people, more than all the lesl
dents of Paris and -Chicago combined, see the movies
every day in the week; over 1SM.VO,V. or well-nigh
twlco tho amount of "greenbacks" In circulation, are
Invested In the business; a force of men and women
equal to the population of Kansas City Is engaged
In crcntlng and exploiting It. Buch Is the extent
and scope of tho motion picture which in a decade
has risen from toy to amusement necessity.
Bo (uickly and ns.turally has the photoplay en
tered Into the pursuit of diversion that we have
scarcely paused to measure Its amazing financial side.
Wo have been told a good deal about the picturesque
ness of Its production; how It has become tho eco
nomic life saver of tho legitimate actor; the vivid
historian of progress; the 'first aid to education;
how time, literature and history from tho crucifixion
down through "Les Mlserables" to the fall of Tor
reon have been ransacked to feed the mighty reel
of 72,000 miles of film that comprises our annual
output.
But these aro the obvious and external features.
Behind all the tumult and clash of this sensational
advance, which vies with the growth of the auto
mobile In swiftness of evolution, and where the his
torian of motion-picture progress seldom delves, Is
the real bulwark of its now recognized stability ths
domain of Its dollars.
niar Fissures that Plnrtlr.
It Is Impossible to get at the exact motion-picture
gross and net Income figures for the United States.
It Is estimated, however, that there are 106 film
"releases" In this country every week. By "release"
Is meant a film play lot loose for exhibition. This
piles up a weekly film literature of 108 negatives from
each of which thirty to eighty positives are printed
and sold. Each production has Its own scale of
price cost; Its own particular expense of distribution.
Hence the difficulty in hazarding a statement about
returns.
But competent and conservative producers will tell
you that tho total gross revenue to the American film
producers Is not less than J80.000.000 a yesr. Since
we calculated the outlay to be SoO.OOO.OOO, the profit
would be hi tho neighborhood of p0,0O),000. To this
must be added the profit that comes to the producers
who own, control or have some sort of Interest In the
various exchanges.
The film manufacturers are very canny individ
uals. Most of them have clung to the exchange
golden egg. The General Film company, for Instance,
has a string of ninety exchanges in this country and
Canada. They get tho middleman's profit out ot
them Just as If they had nothing to do with the
manufacture. You get some Idea of tho profit in this
particular end of the business when I say that It Is
n tradition in the business that for one week, during
the heyday of monopoly, the General Film exchanges
cleared exactly J65.000. This represented a high-water
mark and could not be duplicated today.
Some Fortunes In Films.
This seems an opportune place to Inject some ot
the hitherto untold romance ot the reels and to show
the pranks that fortuno has played with notable
films. From these annals you will find that the
cherished commercial traditions ot the speaking
stage, the money-making records rolled up by such
perennials as "The Old Homestead," "Way Down
East," "Undo Tom's Cabin" and "Hazel Klrke" are
likely to have lesser prototypes In the biographies
of some ot the picture plays that during tho brief
period of a year have come to the attention of at
least a fourth of the people of the United States.
The case furnished by "Quo Vadls" Is one In
point. Tills film was made In Italy at a cost ot
about $45,000 in Italian money. Over here, with the
higher cost of labor, It would huve meant an outlay
of nearly SCO.000.
Tho way It came to America Is Interesting.
George Klelne, one of the pioneer producers the
man who put the K Into tho name ot the Kalem
company had retired from the business at 60 with
a fine competency. He had originally drifted Into
motion pictures because he was one of the best lens
makers In the country. While on a trip to Italy he
saw the "Quo Vadls" film. It appealed to htm as
nn lmmcne proposition, but ho realized also that
up to that time thers was no market for such fea.
tures in the United States. Nevertheless he took a
chance and the film.
He knew thut the only way to produce It was in
a big .New yorK tneaier nrsv nnu ni prices lugner
than those usually charged. After some negotiating
with other theaters ho booked it al tho Astor theater
for four weeks. It was the first time that a going
Broadway house had been turned over to a feature
film put In as a regular matinee and night attraction.
Previously Sarah Bernhardt In "Queen Elizabeth"
had been shown at the Broadway, but thut had
already become a picture playhouse.
The success of "Quo Vadls" was sensational. At
prices of S3 and CO cents It filled tho theater twice a
day and ran for fifteen weeks. At McVlcker's in
Chicago It almost duplicated this record. Then began
an amazing career. Theaters all over the country
pleaded to have the film. It ran all summer in
Boston, two months In Philadelphia, five weeks In
Baltimore, and so on from coast to coast. During
some weeks It played to 5,000 a week tn New York
alone. During the first eight months of Its appear
ance in the United States It brought In $2ua.0M and it
is still doing business. Such are the possibilities ot
the feature film.
Baltimore American. An example should
be made of tho New Haven radroad
crooks.
Buffalo Exprew. ll is a pretty sad
chapter In the history of American rail
road management
Indianapolis News; And yet the di
rectors of the New Haven tallroad In
cluded some of the ablest and most emi
nent men In the country!
Washington Post: The collapse of the
New Haven monopoly. In fact. Is In Itself
proof that this kind of rallrondlng la very
rare In the United States.
Springfield Republican: New England
Is not contradicting tho commission. It
Is simply wondering this morning, In view
of the commission's New Haven report
to the Fnltcd States ecnatc, If It can get
any of its money back.
Philadelphia Press: Probably most of
the steps taken which are now the sub
ject of complaint would have turned out
profitably for tho New Haven company
had the general financial and business
conditions of tho country continued as
they wore when the acts In question were
done.
Pittsburgh Dispatch: The evil will not
bo fully met until tho men who take part
In such operations are made to feci the
criminal law; which Indicates that Attor
ney General McReynolds' objection to the
calling of Mcllen and the directors aa
witnesses may not have been so fanciful
as alleged.
Wall Street Journal: There Is no need
for Immediate analysis. The commission
ers have gone out of their way to narrate
crime sand shortcomings of railroads,,
from this single Instance. But Is there a
single case In which they have put the
stamp of their approval upon good rail
road management? Do they serlous'y tay
that there is none?
New York World: The New Haven was
looted under the personal auspices of men
who are supposed to represent the loftiest
financial Integrity of Wall street. It was
looted under the auspices of men who
posed as the great captains of American
finance. Yet under the direction of Mor
gan and Rockefeller the New Haven
shared practically the fate of the Erie
under Flsk and Gould.
fighting. Hie grandmother h a rc,'n,,.,Hl
Dame, hli aunt Is a Daughter of ihe
American Revolution, and his mother s .i
inllltmit. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
'Your son says hi professor Is ;i wry
strict disciplinarian. Mrs Mi rich.
He must have been loklna The ;ol
lege Is nonsectarlan. you know.' Ilutralo
Express.
Rich Uncle It grieves mc to think
that my money will pass into spend
thrift hands like yours when 1 cle.
Wild Nephew Don't worry, unrhv it
von't stay there long. Boston Record.
"There's ono thing '1out Jail." twld
the rormcr convict, "that manes a
rr.lghtv stroig appeal to most of us."
"Whnt'si that?"
"Yon don't et no music with your
ireals." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
tl.,l.ti- Tl niitd lu. n larrtlil thlnrr fnt
an opera singer to realize he Is loslnc;
his voice.
Pokus It s more terrible wnen no
doesn't realize It. Judge.
Dr. Busier-How Is your practice?
Dr. Grassier-First rate; 11 could not he
letter. 1 had more than 1.500 patients
Inst year and didn't lose a single cent.
Puck.
"Wc want the doctor, quick!
'IWho's sick, at your houte?
"Everybody except me. id been
naught)', so they wouldn't give me any
of the nice mushrooms papa picked In
the woods." Current Opinion.
"The superintendent of tho Insane asy
lum whore I was visiting took the Inmates
to see a ball game '
"How did they behave?"
"Like Insane people Emitted frantlo
yells and cut up all sorts of extravagiuit
capers." . , ,
"I should think other patrons would
have been alarmed."
"Oh, no. Nobody suspected that thy
were not regular fans." Kansas City
Journal
MIRTH FOE MONDAY.
Pat I think most people have dual per
sonalities. Mlko I did once! But some thafo
sthole wan pair from th' clothes line!
Chicago News.
Imp Where will your majesty summer''
Satan I think I'll stay In town; I notlcc-
a lot of people are coming from the coun-
uy. New York Sun.
Willis Then you think Bump left con
considerable life Insurance.
Gillls Yes. The agent was the first
one to propose to the widow. Judge.
"Wpuld George enlist?"
"No, I don't think he would."
"What's the reason? He comes of flsht
iig stock."
"That's the reason. He's soured on
BIXBY'S SUFFRAGE SONG.
Blxby In Lincoln Journal.
The people want a suffrage song that
everyone can sing; .
So here'a a thriller, not too long, to mak
the welkin ring
Tho women want the ballot, and they li
get It. too, sure thing
Or there'll be a heap o' trouble in tlu
morning
CHORUS.
Hurrah, huirah, for women and the votes'
We'll sing, b'gosh, until wo split our
throats;
Tho women folks are with us, and they re
going to get our goats
Unless they have the ballot in the morn
ing. Man's cruelty nnd perfidy has been ad
roitly planned;
The women plead for Justice, but lie
never had the sand
To do tho light thing by her, now shell
have the lobster canned
Unless she sets the ballot in the morn
ing. To fight their way in politics the women
have the crlt:
! Since men have tried a hundred years
and made a mess or it,
A hundred years they've played the gome
and never made a hlU
Now the women folks will show them
tn tlie mnrnlnr.
I
Man has been so rank a failure, after al'.
Is done and said.
That In wordy opposition he'll not dare
tn show his head:
I Watch and see the chesty leader whe
i Is shortly to be led
When the women get the ballot In the
morning.
People and Events
The Garage Man
Says:
"Practically the only com
plaint we get about Polar
ine is from the fellow who's
been feeding his car twice
too much of it The oil's
all right"
That is the kind of testi
mony the men in the field
bring us about
George Fred Williams, late minister to Greece and
Montenegro, has achieved a notable wedding Journey
as well as International fame.
It would be more sportsmanlike If British peer
would put off roasting Sir Thomas Upton for the
canteen scandals till the Shamrock has lifted the cup,
M. Raghboom, a newly elected deputy of France,
who has been a news vendor for many years, still
continues to sell newspapem In the streets of Paris.
Jacob H. Schlff at New York has announced his
resignation as a director of the National City bank.
Mr. Schlff Is senior member of the private banking
firm ot Kuhn, Loeb & Co.
Wlnthrop Murray Crone, former United States sen
ator from Massachusetts, entertained a crowd of his
neighbors at his country home last week. Part of
the entertainment was a base ball game. In which
the former senator swatted a home run.
Representative Allen D. Walsh of the Fourth New
Jersey district, a warm friend of President Wilson,
nearly lost his life while trying to rescue Mrs. Fred
erlok Maasey ot Lambertvllle from drowning in
Scudder's Falls, nine miles from Trenton, N. J.
Switoa A. Domlnlcl has been appointed minister
from Venezuela to the United States, succeeding the
late MlnUtera Rojaa, Senor Domlnlcl now is min
ister to Great Britain, Germany and Belgium and
formerly was president ot the Venezuelan national
university under former President Castro.
Jake Hoebach rounded out a pleasant celebration
of his lOtth birthday by eating a half section of Juicy
cherry pie. Jake Is employed as a farm hand on the
country estate of D. II. Klrkner 3d in Roxborough,
near Philadelphia. He has held his present Job for
eighty-one years and has never once tired of his
work.
folapiir
All experience and immense re
sources of the Standard Oil Com
pany couldn't make a better motor
lubricant Absolute quality stand
ards govern its manufacture from
start to finish.
Polarine is a clean, carbon free
lubricant which is always uniform
in quality. It is stable at high
temperatures and feeds freely down
to zero. If you don't get satisfac
tory results with it, you're not get
ting genuine Polarine. Send us a
sample for our analysis.
Standard Oil Gompany
IKSaSMHAI
1